Monica Barbaro asks about talking to animals

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Welcome to the Handsome Pod. Here we are, live in the flesh, in person. I'm one of your hosts, Mae Martin. And I am another host, and my name is Tig Notaro. And I am Fortune Peemster! This is all true. is true so far everything is true we're on a real hot streak here i'm sitting on this butch leather sofa yeah feeling butch Look at it. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I've been cutting my own hair, though, a lot, and it's got into a weird shape and very thick and kind of...

I don't know why I do it. Do you know how to cut hair? No. Clearly. I have noticed a lot in life you're always doing this with your hair. You do this. You do a little circle. No, I do. Okay, I'll show you. Yeah, show us. Okay, so it's this. The fingers go into it, and then I kind of pull out to give it some texture, but it...

My friend was like, well, that's a stim. That's autism. Oh, really? Because I do it all the time and I can't stop. So. is stimming just an autism thing or is it like anxiety or could be yeah who fucking knows it could be like an ocd thing i don't know but i am constantly like i do things with my fingers like You do? Stuff like this sometimes. Yeah. There's like whole blooper reels during filming of me.

doing that in scenes or using the cameras, using my reflection. And that's your blooper? Is touching your hair? I mean, they do. You should see my bloopers. Is it you just... Messing up lines? I mean, the gibberish... comes out of my mouth on star trek i love a blooper oh yeah yeah they edited together a montage of me using the

my reflection in the camera to fix my hair and then doing it in character. And when they play it for the cast and crew, does everyone laugh so hard at your blooper? No, sort of. Everyone's like, oh, that's old man. And then I'm sort of laughing at first and then my face slowly falls as I see myself reflect. You know? Yeah. Well, this has started out sad. Yeah, this has started out melancholic. If it's helpful at all, your hair looks the same to me. Thank you.

May's hair looks the same. Yeah, I mean, we don't notice the change, but I think it matters to you. More than anything on this earth. Well, you know, it's funny we're talking about this because tonight...

I'm giving my little cubs a haircut. Oh, my God. Are you excited? Because you're good. You have the whole kit and everything. I have the whole kit. I have the cape that goes around the neck. Oh, my God. Yeah. I have buzzers, clippers, everything. That's fun. I have been doing this since the pandemic. I love it so much. Will you make like banter as if you're a hairdresser while you do it?

No, because Max and Finn are like, are we finished yet? And it's like every few seconds. I'm like, guys, guys, please. If we were, you know, we would have to get in the car. We'd have to drive to the barbershop. We'd have to wait. This is much faster. Yeah, you're saving time. Yeah, and money, okay? We are saving our cash. Oh, yeah, you are. And so I cut their hair, and then I cut Stephanie's dad, Papa Grande, cut his hair.

And he does saddle up like he's at an actual barber shop. And he's like, well, you know, today I was... Going down the 101 and, you know. He wants the full experience. They should, like, for men who have difficulty talking about their feelings, they should set up, like, a little barbershop. Like, it gives them the... space to talk, to open up. Say what's on their mind.

Oh, go on. No, no, please. No, honestly, my hair is like a three-hour process. You said I could go. Oh, sorry. No, you go. No, fortune. It's your turn. My hair is like a three-hour process. What? That? Yeah, because I have to. Oh, you mean cut.

Cutting it. Cutting it. I thought you meant styling it. No, cutting it. How dare you? That is your style? No, because, you know, I sun-kiss my hair, so that takes forever. Yeah. How do you sun kiss your hair? They put in highlights and lowlights. That is adorable. So you sit in one of those little chairs with the helmet over your head? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Can you tell us when you're having that done again? Are you going to come over? Yeah, we put on the list. So you go to the salon and you send under the thing? Yeah, with the foils.

The foils. I'll take a picture. No, you're going to tell us. Yes. God. Oh, my God. Yes. In the salon, you just hear you guys come tromping in. I'm like, fortune trying to keep it handsome over there takes a village yeah do you play games on your phone while you sit and wait you play best scenes you know i do well the the person who i found to do it uh she's been doing it in the last year uh it's fun to talk to okay so we talk a lot why is she fun to talk to she's just like easy going and

Easy to talk to. More fun than me? No. Thank you. Who is? Exactly. And while the thing's on, you can't really talk.

because it's loud yeah so then i'll play like games on my phone and stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah what kind of games do you play on your phone best fiends they ruin my life for a while i know it's addictive i stopped playing all those people say it's called best fins i don't know gotta be fiends i think so it's a better name too best fins best fins and maxes what's that best fins and maxes yeah what's and maxes

My other son. Oh, Finn. Gotcha. I just went, yeah. Yeah, we were like, yeah. My new, like, passing the time thing is... is the capital cities and I'm at 130. If anyone was like following my progress and wanted to know because I know the countries and now I'm at 130. Have I already told you you should talk to Finn about this? Yeah, he's into geography and maps. Oh, even beyond the U.S. I mean, it's like so crazy. And flags.

I'm stressed because I didn't know each state in America has a capital city.

Yeah. Yes. I didn't know that. That is adorable. So now I got one of those, I guess. Welcome. Yeah, thank you. I like it here. Welcome. When are you getting your license, by the way? Well, I've had a lesson recently. Okay. But after the lesson, I... learn that my learner's permits expired so i have to do the written test again oh i know but as soon as i'm done that i'm i swear to god you guys i'm gonna get the license by the end of the summer it's happening

I'm going to drive around the block. I'm going to go... Oh, my God. Every morning I could go anywhere. I could go to the desert. You can. Yeah. Every morning I could go. The world is your oyster when you have a car. Yeah. I could go to Ojai. I don't have a car. What do you mean? No.

So how do you get around? We're one car family. No, yeah, so that counts as yours. For real? Y'all have to ride together everywhere? Well, you know, we live in a very walkable area. And I don't go anywhere. I just shuffle around my neighborhood. Coffee and snacks. Picture you in a robe. Shuffling around. In a robe. That is nice to be able to walk to coffee. I do like that. Or I'll Uber, like I Ubered here. I didn't take a stretch.

limousine uber like you well i guess if you don't go many places and it doesn't make sense to have two cars no stephanie wants me to get one oh yeah she's tired of She's tired of me being like, oh, you don't need the car today. I'm going to take that. And yeah, but we'll work that out. Who's a better driver, you or Stephanie? Well, that's up for debate. Stephanie.

I would swear she is. Is she Foster? No. Really? Okay. No. And she has a car that... famously goes fast and uh and i'm like why do we even have this right you know yeah and she's just buckled in going the speed limit I'm going to go the speed limit all the time. It's too scary. Well, at least while you're still getting comfortable. Yeah. Speaking of getting comfortable, look at Biggie. Yeah, Biggie. Biggie's getting very comfortable. Guys, tonight I'm...

i'm already feeling nervous because tonight i'm going to see a scary movie okay and this is you know brett goldstein my friend so he i think We're friends with them too. Yeah, he's your buddy. Say our friend Brett. You know, our mutual friend Brett. Of course he's our friend. You got like a screener of a movie because the guys are going to come on his podcast or something and they're the guys that made that movie talk to me.

me and can I just read you this is what the reviews said because it hasn't come out yet and then I googled it do you get swayed by reviews no normally I don't read them but I'm I don't like all scary movies. I like like a thriller and I like a slasher movie, but this is okay. Extremely gnarly with no pulled punches. This film has such an evil presence from the get-go. Even before the studio logos hit, you're hit with this disturbing imagery that makes you feel gross and unsafe.

Deeply upsetting. I'd even go so far as to say this is an evil film. Oh, like it feels like it haunted me like I'm going to die in seven days. Oh, no, this is a bear. Is this like a professional reviewer or is it somebody writing a comment in their underwear in the middle?

of the night. I think it's that. I think it was someone on Rotten Tomatoes or something. You're going to be haunted by this movie. I know. I'm scared. You're going with Brett. Is that what you were saying? Yeah. I don't normally like supernatural horror movies. They freak me out. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, for some reason, I don't mind a crazy guy with a knife. You can always fall asleep during it. That's true. We'll just smuggle up to Brett. Yeah. Who cuts Biggie's hair?

Oh, Jax does. Okay. Yeah. Because I see some... pieces that need to be evened out with clippers he's been all over the place lately so well he's beautiful of course but i just see some little edges that need to be evened out i'm happy to do that yeah and would you like me to cut your hair kid out You would let me cut your hair? Yeah, I would, yeah. You would tidy up the back and sides. Oh my gosh. Because look at the back, just at this chunk. Oh, bless you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. It's bad. Well, I wouldn't notice it if you didn't tell us the look, but it's just like a diagonal right now. Should I show the camera? Yeah, why not? I wouldn't want to show them. Oh, there's scissors right there. Oh, my God. You could have a handsome haircut. Do you think you could even it out with just big old chunky scissors? Big old chunky scissors. Big old chunky scissors. You heard that song before? Speaking of horror films.

Big old chunky scissors. Big old chunky scissors. Oh, hi and bye. That's your friend now? Yes. We're scared. This has turned into a horror film. Tig gave Biggie some apple earlier. so I see that you're out of the picture. What if there was a horror movie where the killer...

Saying big old chunky scissors. That's how I started is I cut Max and Finn's hair with big old kid scissors. Oh, no way. Yes, it did look good. But here's the thing. It took me.

Five years. We don't have that kind of time. I can't do it right now. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. It took me five years to now be... real quick like I can do your snips like yeah I'm just like oh that's nice Stephanie said I give her dad the best haircut she's ever seen him have wow since she's known that's amazing I had a hairdresser

England not Debbie but this guy who I remember one day he was like I'm pretty nervous because in a couple months I'm going on Britain's Got Talent I think yeah Or the X Factor, one of those. But it was Simon Cowell judging and he was so nervous and he had a piano in the shop and he'd practice playing and stuff. And I was like, I hope this goes well for him. He was pinning everything on it and then I...

I remember him coming back after the audition, like the next month being like, they didn't like it. Next time. But man, it takes balls to go on those shows. Yeah. My cousin went and auditioned for. Really? one of those shows and she was laughing so hard at like how she did not have like a story, a compelling story. Is that the same as?

yeah pretty much like they yeah you you need a compelling story yeah yeah right right right um have you ever done those comedy competitions when you started out i did last comic standing did you oh yeah i did that too did you is that televised yeah yeah How'd you do? I won every year. It was my first TV thing, so for me it was great. It's so scary when you've got like three minutes. I know. And then they edit.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Edit all the flow. Fully edit. Yeah. Oh, you know what I'm about to do with my mom? What? Speaking of hair, I'm going to take her wig shopping.

No way. And I'm wondering if I should get her a wig that looks like my hair. That would be good. We should get her a wig of each of our hair, including Thomas's. That's great. And the mustache. And she could change wigs.

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Oh, my mom has cancer. I'm sorry. I can't. It's uncomfortable. I laugh and I'm uncomfortable. Yeah, I understand the laugh. It's not funny. No. But, yes. So, well, she didn't know about this when we saw her at... uh the rhyming i know we just saw yeah you've just seen her which i'm so glad we've had some like really cool experiences lately not that she's going anywhere um hopefully uh yes my mom got diagnosed like a month ago with um

I can't say the long name, but it's bile duct cancer. It's in the... bile ducts in her liver and it's a very rare cancer very aggressive it's stage two she like randomly found it she went to urgent care for like shortness of breath and they didn't see any she thought she might have a blood clot they didn't see any and they uh said we can do this other test with

die but you don't need it and for whatever reason she's like no I want it and they did it and she had a mass about the size of an orange a small orange on her liver and they were like This is not good. They set up the time stage four because it was so big and She had a bunch of tests and so she has this it's not great. It's not curable but

they can be treated um the prognosis who knows it could anywhere from a year to six years some people longer or even longer yeah it could be 12 15. uh so we're just you're in that phase of like an onslaught of information and like wading through it and she didn't want to talk about it for the first month though uh you know so i i kept it to myself and uh and then it was funny like she started to slowly want to talk about it to people and i went home to visit her and uh you know i'd

She'd been saying she don't talk about it. And someone said, and, you know, hey, Ginger, good to see you. How are you doing? I have cancer. And I was like, wait, what just happened? And so then she told me to share the story because she just needed help. and information and especially because it's such a rare it's rare and all these people have rallied around her and she's got all these great people in her hometown like

Saying they'll take her to any appointment. She's starting chemo. By this time, has started chemo. And we got her...

Set up with a great doctor at Emory. We're going to see what happens there. And I don't know. All these people. I'm trying to compartmentalize right now. And how is she with... I mean, with my own experience of having cancer, it's so overwhelming and there's so much information like you're saying. And so is she bringing somebody to her appointments with her? Yeah. To take notes? Yeah, she went to one appointment the other day by herself and started crying. Yeah.

yeah oh jinge it's tough yeah so um i'm glad she's got you and and yeah people are rallying around yeah so she said she wasn't gonna do that again she's gonna take have somebody go with her. So like we have great family down that way that have reached out and a lot of people said they'd go with her.

Well, if anyone can rock a wig, it's going to be... Well, some people are like, oh, not everyone loses hair, but pretty much every doctor is like, with what you have, you're going to lose hair. Right. You know, she's scared, but... It's got that fighter mentality. Yeah, just unexpected. Did not see this coming.

Life is a bit crazy right now and a lot of changes are happening, but I'm just focused on her and getting her better. Yeah. And it makes you so grateful that... yeah you have all these insane experiences together like all these yeah clips of you guys on stage together and then and then like that we were all just hanging i know yeah yeah i was glad we went on that cruise together earlier this year these cool experiences

the good thing is that you know i'll be able to go pop into north carolina and more and yeah spend time with everyone's like you know make sure you spend a lot of time together and i mean hopefully this you know the treatments help her live a much longer life and that you know that it would if it were stage two by getting those scans done now there's I think hope for you know keeping it at bay for a while.

A lot of people don't find it until stage four because it's so undetectable. It's so hard to find and usually no symptoms. I mean, unbelievable that she found it. Yeah, sure. But but she does. I know people are saying, oh, I can go with her. But she has like, I'm going to go with this person or I have this plan because.

I just I would hate for that to sneak up on her again where she doesn't like that's not planned. And I don't know if that if you have family friends that you could reach out to. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

I think that's the part that's been tough lately is just like there's so many people reaching out and so many people wanting to help. I'm kind of shutting down a little bit and I'm trying to like, I know I can't, I have to face it, but I'm. just try to like be like give me a minute to like yeah sort this out and um once i can just kind of wrap my head around everything and

What needs to be done? I can help facilitate that stuff because I have cousins and stuff. You know, like, let me talk to you or let me reach. And I'm just like, give me a minute. You know, that's the thing about the.

cancer situation that i just never realized was all these people reaching out saying how much how many tasks there are to do for the person that has the cancer. It's a full-time job for the person with cancer and the community surrounding. Because, I mean, I was one of the very lucky people that had... rides everywhere I went, people staying with me, making food for me. And I was so at a point in my life where I...

I was such a different person. It's crazy to think about, but I was just like, I could do everything on my own. I didn't need, you know what I mean? Like even after surgery, I was like, I didn't. my friends were like, we're going to stay with you. And I was like, I'm fine. Like at my place alone with it and open it, like these incisions in my chest. They're like, you can't even lift your arms. I'm like, no, I'm fine. I'm good.

But it's, you know, it really makes you realize, and I'm like, you kind of need a medical degree to understand everything. And maybe it would be good, aside from even taking notes, to just... I don't know, like a voice memo. That's what people said, record the appointments. But for sure, for the emotional support, to have...

somebody there with her because it is so overwhelming. And while you're taking in all of this crazy information, then your emotions come over you and it'll... it's it's all it's so much yeah yeah i mean she's at the age where most of her friends are retired you know so that's helpful yeah a lot of them are out in our church like had a made a whole list of like people signing up to volunteer oh great great great so i think she'll you know be in good hands and

My brothers are out that way, too, and their wives. How far away are they? Oh, one's 45 minutes and one's six hours. Okay. It must be, too, like, everyone... know someone who's had cancer has had some encounter with cancer in their life and so everybody has different i'm sure like tips and thoughts on it like like everyone has different yeah it's pretty it's overwhelming i will say it's pretty incredible Fortune. Love you, bud. Sorry. No.

I think, you know, there's like you said, there's so much going on right now. Yeah. And this is like no joke. Yeah. You need support. I was just trying to say like it's been pretty crazy in a good way.

uh how many people have shown up yeah for me and yeah for her and yeah it's like and people i don't even know that well yeah you know yeah um i've been really uh pretty amazed actually at just like how many people just care and want to help and people just yeah instinctually want to help I think and of course knowing her

and people i mean of course people want to help her and that's i hope she's somebody that's open to help very much so that's why she had me tell finally tell people about it because she was like i need help yeah and uh

And I've just been, like, really grateful for everybody who's... I mean, even my, like, good friends are, like, just calling her. Yeah. And, like, talking with her. And, like... Yeah. I don't know. That part just, like... really that's really so much yeah and this and i and i've made new friends who've been like what can i do how can i help like people strangers that i don't know or like i mean this woman

that saw the post, reached out to this unbelievable cancer doctor in Atlanta to please help and look at her information. I mean, just like... Friends sending, like, here are the things to eat and don't eat. Here are the things to do. Here's tips. I mean, it's been, like, I hate that it's under these circumstances, but just seeing people. It's heartening. come together like that. It's hard to remember and feel that you have that support network.

Day to day. And then when something happens and everyone comes out of the woodwork like that, and you're like, oh, I guess I was there all along and I didn't know that people had my back. I mean, listen, I've been... Do you want my hand off of you? No, I love it. I've been... This year's been a...

It has tested me in many ways, but people have just freaking showed up for me in ways I could have never expected. So it's like just... my it's what's gotten me through it yeah so yeah you know she gonna fight it yeah we're gonna do everything we can and she'll fight it and then she's like yeah you know She'll fight it, but as you said, she has an entire army behind her. Yeah. I mean, of family, friends, neighbors, townies, strangers, every, I mean. Yeah.

And to be hooked up with such an incredible doctor. And I have the means to go, you know, like this. This weekend, last minute, I was like, I'm just going to go fly out there. I'll go see her. It's not the journey. It's funny. This year, just from things going on with me, I've talked to her every day. uh before we even knew about the cancer and we've just gotten some we've always been close uh and especially in my adult years um

But we've just talked every day, and she's gotten me through some tough times. And so entering into this phase of my life where I'm at right now, I was like, oh, we're going to go do fun things and have some.

fun mom-daughter times and this is just not really the journey i thought she didn't think this either but that that she'd be on at the moment so that's just life though but um yeah One of my favorite things in the world, and I know I've said it on this podcast and I say it to everybody in times like these, but what's so amazing is one of my favorite things that Ram Dass has.

ever said is that we're all just walking each other home oh yeah and i just love it so much because it's like everybody and And home just meaning any point in your life. I experienced that outreach and it changed my life. I really don't know who I was before I was so... sick and man were people walking me home and man do I want to help people walk home you know it's just like

No, I'm going. That's nice. It's true. Like when you look around, whether it's strangers or your family or friends, and it's just like. It's such a beautiful thing and it is. Yeah, but I'm relieved to know that she has so many people. I'm very grateful she's from. We're from a small town where everybody really looks out for each other. That makes me feel much better. That her facing this is not going to be alone.

Yeah, that's very reassuring. What a year. What a month. If we were on a talk show or something, we'd go to a commercial break right now. We can't. They decide what our commercial breaks are. laughing awkwardly to cry like a little baby. Biggie didn't know what the hell's going on. Biggie's just enjoying his life. Yeah, just thinking about the apple piece I gave him.

That's right. Well, Fortune, we are here for you. We are. We love you. We're sending Ginger so much love and support. And we're here for walking home. Thank you for that. I appreciate it. We'll just rally behind her and get her through this. Absolutely, we will. Isn't that right, Biggie? Biggie can't talk.

What a podcast. We go from being ridiculous and insane to look at us sharing feelings. What a podcast. What a podcast. But you know I'm like hungry for the real stuff. What is it about? It's good to get her.

sometimes it is but why why did i laugh at being so uncomfortable well the tig did a stand-up thing if i have cancer like it's a natural kind i think like the almost the absurdity of just the shocks of life that was what my whole special was just like Because, you know, in my run of months that that stuff happened, it was like it was hell upon hell.

You know, my mother tripping and dying and my breakup and all the diseases I had. And then I was like, like, it just seemed, it was relentless. And then when the doctor was like, you have invasive cancer, I was like. What? Yeah. I was like, but it can't happen like this. I'm like, I'm in hell. I can't eat food and my mother's gone and my girlfriend's gone. I was like, how could I possibly have cancer?

And I don't know if I've shared this on the show, but Ira Glass from This American Life, he was saying, you know, people think random means sporadic and spread out. And he said sometimes random can be all things in one cluster. Yeah, in a cluster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that really stuck with me because I thought... Like in the first three things that happened in those four or five months, I was like, well.

life's just going to be smooth sailing now because I've gone through everything. And then it just, and I don't mean to say that like there's more for sure coming, but it's just, it's like, there's no. gauge there's no it's it's just random random yeah yeah yeah and you think oh it won't be me or oh it won't be my loved one it won't be my relationships or my health or whatever it is and it's like it's all of us yeah and look at you now though exactly look at me now yeah I mean yep

I mean, life is good, but I still have many challenges like everybody does. But I have a very solid foundation in my life with my health and my marriage and my kids and all the work and whatever. Within those areas, there's still always rough spots. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, I'm very thankful. Very deeply thankful. So you let us know what's helpful. I will. Okay. I just wanted to touch TIG back.

up the shoulder that feels a little different is that a buck mason t-shirt it's rag and bone oh yeah nice yeah yeah sorry no no no oh that took it out of me yeah yeah a break fortune you sip your your beverage let's go to commercial yeah we'll go to commercial i don't even drink soda what am i oh yeah i like don't drink soda and i'm just like i will say i have lost a lot of weight because i've barely felt like eating for two months so hot girl summer

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I'm not terrible. I'm not great. I have compartmentalized a little bit just because there's things going on in my life. It's just like day by day. Yeah, I think I'm just trying to find the light, you know, like focus on the... happy things and yeah what are what are the good things in my life and and focusing on that yeah you know throwing myself into work a bit but not to the point or like

I'm ignoring everything and just pretending like everything is good. I'm, you know, talk to a therapist and just trying to like feel the things when it comes up. You know, we're so lucky that we love what we do. Like, can you imagine if you had all this going on and you hated your job or something? Yeah. Yeah. Like, I mean, it's true. It is tricky. Like being on tour.

having all this stuff going on and just and then been like okay here we go yeah yeah be silly but i i'm not forcing myself to i don't go out there going well you gotta do this right i genuinely am so happy to see everybody yeah To make people laugh makes me feel good. So having that in my life is probably what's getting me through. It's just like...

Being in those theaters, feeling that love. Yeah, the community. You are so kind. Yeah. That is what's moving me forward. Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. And just spending time, you know, with my mom.

And yeah, I'm focusing on... I've always had my friends, but just reconnecting with them in a way that's meaningful. I've had some really meaningful... conversations with a lot of people lately deep deep ones that I just hadn't had in a while everything had been kind of surfaced for a bit just because I was so busy that I've really allowed myself to um connect and just get to it with people.

Those are the best. Those conversations. Kind of like when we all talk about Pontes. Yeah. Just like that. Just cutting the shit and sharing what's important, I think, is where I'm at right now. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, I'm going to be OK. More than OK. Yeah. Yeah. And I was just thinking when I was when you were emotional and I reached out to touch you, I'm very curious. You know, some people don't like to be touched when they're emotional and then other people do. Where do you guys stand on that? I want to be... curled up held like a baby and held like a baby like if i was sitting next to you yeah or fortune was or thomas you'd want us to snuggle you like hold you

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like touch me in some way for sure, I think. Yeah, because it's a natural human. Like were you like, oh boy, this is awkward when I touched your arm. Okay. And then was there a part of you that was like, why isn't she holding me? Why isn't she spooning me? Well, I knew Biggie was getting in the way of that. Otherwise, I would be in your lap with you brushing my hair.

but it is so interesting yeah you know there's if i'm throwing up i don't want anyone touching me good to know yeah yeah yeah that would probably be i don't need that i don't need someone holding my hair but i'm a i'm a physical touch person for sure yeah yeah so this was okay it wasn't too much too little it was

Perfect. Could you feel me wanting to? I could totally feel it. And could you feel Biggie not knowing anything? I feel the love from all of you. Thank you for letting me be vulnerable. Of course. Thanks for sharing that. Yeah, there's been a lot going on and just trying to move through life as a person and through work. I think that's part of why people like podcasts because, yeah, even though, yeah, you have to kind of go with someone through all the ups and downs of their life.

Yeah, even in a subtle way. Yeah. It's a really long-term relation. Yeah, there's other stuff going on that I'll talk about in time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One day at a time. I need this sun-kissed. You drink that pot. One trauma at a time. Yeah. I read a quote that was like, it's like I was so scared that if I... let the dam burst like it would just everything would keep flowing out of me and then I realized like what's like what's wrong with being a river like yeah so nice yeah let it flow out yeah yeah yeah let it flow

Gosh, should we get to our question? Let's get to our question. I'm actually very excited about today's question asker because she is a dear friend of mine. We're on the show FUBAR together. That will be out. Or it's already out. It's on Netflix right now. Today's question asker. She's an actress. Who was... nominated for a freaking Oscar this past year for her role as Joan Baez in the Bob Dylan biopic A Complete Unknown.

And she's also been a Top Gun Maverick. She was the female fighter pilot. Yes. And of course, FUBAR. So Monica Barbaro is asking today's question. Let's hear it, Monica. I would have so many questions for her. I want to know about playing Joan Baez. Did she get to hang out with Joan Baez? I want to know, did she... They did me. Really? I will say, Monica blows me away. She's so wonderful. Such a lovely human.

But she's so talented. She was a ballet dancer at Tisch. Tidge? What's Tidge? What is that? The NYU, right? isn't that where it is yeah nyu and um like for foobar she does all these crazy stunts top gun maverick she had to like

Being in those planes for real. Being in the planes and catching G's or whatever it's called. Yeah. You pass out and throw up and all this shit. She was doing all that. Oh my God. You had to train your, they trained their bodies for like a year and a half for that. What a badass. So she filmed that and. Then for Joan Baez, she had to learn 11 songs that did not play the guitar, had to teach herself to play guitar. Whoa. And she sang all those songs.

So there's nothing that girl can't do, and this is just the beginning for her. She's going many places, and I love her. She's such a good friend. Love it. Hey guys, really exciting to get to be a part of your amazing podcast. Okay, so my question is, if you woke up... and discovered you had the ability to talk to animals, what would you do?

bonus points if you have an answer in addition to probably talk to your pets okay my pet right away okay well i don't have pets so my my first thought was um

There's been a lot of conspiracies lately about what's going on with the orca, the dolphin, the whales. Okay. Oh, they're communicating. They're communicating. And they're rising up. They're rising up. And I think there's something that's... come out that's like places have made it illegal to communicate with dolphins I'm like what don't they want us to know like what are they trying to tell us and maybe there's aliens under the water I want to talk to the

the dolphins the whales and the orca and ask them what's up ask them what the hell is going on yeah there's gotta be a lot of secrets in the ocean 100 there's goss there is big hot goss yeah who's who but those orca are so well organized and they're like taking down boats and stuff. Yeah, they're like breaching the water and just slamming these boats everywhere. They've had it with all the pollution in the water. Yeah, they're done. Yeah.

That's a good one. Yeah. I'm amazed we haven't yet with AI figured out how to like translate what they're saying. Yeah. I mean, I only have ever thought about talking with Biggie. Yeah. I don't know if I'd get much out of him, though. I don't think you would. Don't you think he's kind of simple? He's a simple man. He's like, I'm hungry. Yeah. Now I'm thirsty. Yeah, give me a rub. Yeah, give me a rub on my belly. And now I want to go on a ride in the car so I can sleep.

What about, like, around your house, you got squirrels, possums? Good question, Mae. Thanks. I don't. No, I don't. There's not a lot of animals around. So I don't have – there's some birds I wouldn't mind. Not the squawky ones that are so annoying, but like those really – beautiful birds with like a little bit of red in them they pop around yeah yeah yeah i want to know like what they're about i have had i have friends who have like um in their hippy dippy way have thought a loved one

Was coming to them via a bird. Yeah. I would be interested to know from those birds if that's the case. Yeah. Like, does that ever happen? And they're like, oh, yeah, it was someone's uncle or whatever. Yeah. But I definitely want, I would like some information from Biggie. What do you need to know? I just want to know, like, how much he loves me. Yeah, right. Yeah. I just want him to tell me. Yeah.

What if he just spread his paws out like this? This much? Yeah. That would be cute too. But I also want to know if there's anything he wants that he doesn't have. Right. I can answer that for him. Are there any needs that aren't being met? No, he's fine. Maybe he needs pants. I don't know.

Maybe. Little jeans? Yeah, little jeans would be cute. But he could tell us if he doesn't like them. See, that was partly what I wanted when I had kids. To dress them up? I was like... when i told stephanie i was like i just want to put little pants on them yeah like that is what i want i just want to have kids so i can put little pants on them yeah and we don't anymore they put their own pants on but we did for a while and it was really fun I love it when kids um

I dress up in little suits. Oh, yeah. That's really good. Oh, my gosh. If you love that. I mean, I know my kids are eight, but I can show you some little ties and suits and what have you. I love little ties and suits. Yes. Would you be talking to Kitty City?

Pretty much? No, I think I know what's going on there. Yeah, you get the interpersonal dynamics of that group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fluff is like just the raging bitch in town that keeps everyone in order and just... and um Linus and Skip are just you know kind of tiptoeing around her but they all travel in a group you know but she just really whips everyone into shape and leads the way

I would be more curious to see what apes say about us evolving from apes. Well, do you think they know that? Well, that's fine. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Do these birds know anything? I mean, I don't know. Yeah. But I'm curious. You know, all the humans like, yeah, we came from apes. No, we didn't. Well, let's talk to an ape. Yeah. See what what's the what do they think? Yeah.

What's their theory? But they can sign language a lot, right? Really? Yeah, well, Coco, the gorilla. But mainly it seems like they're just boning. boning and living in little communities and fighting. I wonder if they'd be like... yeah how come you had to overcomplicate things like they'd be like our life is pretty good yeah yeah and like if they've been you know if they were like oh yeah when my grandmother was alive she told me about like her neighbor that she saw actually become human

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, my grandmother was alive during that time. Right. You know, or my great, great, great grandmother. Probably a lot of greats. That graph of, yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't really thought about communicating with any other animals.

I don't know. I feel like you would be in good standing with most of the animals because you're a vegan. Yeah, that's true. They appreciate that. They'd have a word with me. They'd have a word with me. Although they're eating each other. Fair point. Sometimes. I don't know, but it would be kind of cool to hear from the animals like the Lion King. Yeah. We can hear what they're saying.

When I was really little, my mom read me Charlotte's Web. Yeah. I was like two. Like I could barely talk yet. And then she tells the story that she like finished the book and she wasn't even sure if I was following it. And I just started bawling and bawling. But I think that's because the...

the way she was reading it was probably really sad. Like her tone of voice was probably like, and then Charlotte died. Like, you know, but yeah, I always then used to think about spiders talking and pig pigs, babe. Yeah. Did you just call Fortune babe? Babe about pigs, babe. I've been thinking about pigs, babe. I've never called anyone babe.

I have. You haven't? I like nicknames. Babe, Love, Shug. See, none of those three I could do. I've said baby. I do baby. I don't do baby. Really? Not even like in bed? I say to Stephanie, how are you, my love? That's nice. I say my love to friends, though, too. Oh, well, look at you just throwing it around. Yeah, my love. Yeah, my love. How are you, my love? Please start texting me that. But that's like, I think, a Southern thing. We always go, hey, Shug.

do you say that to your to your bros too like would you text yeah my guy friend I've had a number of like bro-y guy friends have texted me you know about my mom or whatever and I'm just like thanks love oh that's nice yeah Mm-hmm. That's nice.

Don't worry, I'll get you. I'll get you, boo. Look at that. I'll get you, boo. My friend Joe, who's staying with me, calls me all kinds of things. Good old Joe. He calls me like... cheeky baby you just like affection right both physical and yes verbal give it all to me yeah that's what i want your love language i like giving it too your love language is actually love language yeah yeah yeah

Should we hear Monica's answer? Yeah, let's do it. I don't think we should. Yeah, you know what? Actually, just kidding. Monica, we want to hear. But before you answer, do I look like... Tom Cruise. Oh, yeah. Yes, you do. Monica would have a hard time not knowing that you aren't her co-star. You really do. Hearing that training for Top Gun really was like...

Insane. Yeah. I mean, what they had to do. He's the real deal. I could never be cast in a movie like that. It's insane. Yeah. You'd do it? You'd fly in those planes? No problem. Puking and passing out? Puking and passing out. You have to train your body to be able to take it. That's insane. I can't even fly on a commercial flight without being like, okay, when was that?

She's a badass, though. And then FUBAR, you guys should check it out. FUBAR on Netflix. It's a fun, silly show. It's one of those things you can watch. And not take too seriously. But it's like good, fun entertainment with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I get to shoot guns and I get in fights. Yeah, you do. Run from explosions. I just saw the trailer and it looked hilarious for the new season. I was in Epsom salt baths a lot the first couple months.

But yeah, it's action comedy, so it's not meant to be taken seriously. I'm going to take it deadly seriously.

okay so first of all i think i'd have a really long heart to heart with my dog try to really understand where he's coming from and what happened to him before i adopted him oh yeah that's a good because i think that would inform a lot for me um and then also um I'd have to hear him out, but I really think I'd try to get him to understand that when I leave him at the house, it's never forever.

he seems very confused about that every single time i leave and then every single time i come home he seems to have at some point thought he was being abandoned for life um and i'd love to just ease his fears if if you know in any way uh possible um um and just like chat

I'm so curious what he thinks day to day. I think, I think I'm curious about it. Okay, beyond pets, I would really... love to swim in the ocean and talk to humpback whales yeah there you go um that i think i think that would be or an octopus that would be really they're brilliant Yeah. So it's all about the ocean. It would be a really fascinating conversation. I don't know why, but that's what I think.

Yeah, I used to... And there's her doggie. This is sweet. Oh, my God. Come on. What would you say? I used to think that my cat, pre-Kitty City, this other cat I had... I was convinced that she thought that when I left for the day, I used to do this as a joke, but it was true.

that when I left for the day that I was just standing on the other side of the door for 12 hours. Right. And then I'd just come back inside. And then when I'd come back inside, she'd be like terrified and do that sideways crab walk that cats. do when they're scared uh yeah so but that's that was a really good answer well yeah and it made me think about that greenland shark that they found that is 400 years old

It's been around since the 1700s, this shark, like since Napoleon times. You'd want to talk to that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Just blind and just floating through the ocean. It's so old. Still alive? Yeah, I think so. They tagged it and everything. Those are good questions. Both of what she said with the pets, I would want to know. I would love to know where he...

His story was because he was found on the street. How on earth would anyone leave this dog on a street? He had no tags and he was not chipped. Wow. So I would love to know what happened there. And did you find him instead? No, the Humane Society. And then we found him there. But I doubt he was out there long. He's so cute. He probably got snatched pretty quick. And then same, he cries and cannot. Aw, Biggie. Cannot.

settle down when we're not home and it stresses them out and I hate that I do wish I could just be like just sleep I promise you're okay and we're coming back Poor little pup. I know. I'll look at the cameras and he'll just be like, you can see his head going back like he's howling. Oh, no. It breaks my heart. Oh, my gosh. But what if you actually got the sound of the cameras and he was just going? or if you got a hold of the cameras the audio and he was like yeah he's does not like being alone

Do any of us? Some people do actually. I do like being alone if it's late at night and everyone's asleep and I'm in my house and I know everyone in the city is asleep. and i'm playing my guitar i like that a lot yeah but in the daytime i get a little really yeah i don't like being alone too much yeah I guess a nice mix is good. A nice mix is good. Let's land there. Balance. Yeah.

Man. What a podcast. What a podcast. I'm sorry I wasn't as silly today. Never apologize. No. Never apologize. But it was nice talking with you guys. Yeah. Always a pledge. Yeah. Always a pledge. What if I started talking like that? Always a pledge. See, it didn't even sound weird to you. No, I was like, finally it takes talking right. Finally, something I can understand.

I am at Largo tonight, June 17th, doing music and telling stories and with very cool musical guests. So if there's tickets left, come to that. And then other than that, I'm not doing any live shows for a little bit, but check out my album, I'm a TV, on Spotify, or you could watch Feel Good on Netflix. Yeah, so I'm basically just working out the new stuff.

having some fun, silly shows at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter, go to tignotaro.com. What do you have going on? Fortune? Anything? Yeah. If you want to come laugh with me and let all our... sorrows go for an hour and a half uh june 20th lexington kentucky knoxville tennessee on the 21st uh ashville lincoln california edmonton and canada

San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, Richmond, D.C., Portland, Maine, Boston, Burlington, Mobile. I'm everywhere. You're everywhere always. Everywhere all at once. But listen, I... I'm so grateful to people coming to my shows and getting me through this time and all the lovely messages people are sending me. It's really nice. We love everyone. I appreciate you guys. Yeah. Love you guys. We appreciate you. And we are all behind you and Ginger.

Let's go ginger one million percent and thanks for listening to the podcast. Please subscribe Subscribe to the show. Also subscribe to the YouTube channel where you can see our beautiful faces. You can see me crying and wiping my nose. Yeah. Head on over to YouTube. Who doesn't want to miss that? I had to cry today as well. Yeah, you got teary-eyed over there. Yeah, you can see my bad haircut.

That's a good haircut. I'll fix it, though. Also, share an episode with a friend and help us build this very handsome community. Share this episode. Share this episode. Give them a real taste of what it usually is like. like god this is sad well until next time shall we keep it handsome

Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. And please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! That was a hate gum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

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Hi there. My name is Alison Williams. If you know who I am at all, it would probably be thanks to my job as an actress on shows like Girls and in movies like Megan. Recently, when I was having a moment of gratitude for my group chat, I thought I wish everyone could have these geniuses at their fingertips like I do. Well, now you do. Hi, hi, it's Hope. Hey, babe, it's Jamie. Welcome to our podcast, Landlines, where we share our life-sustaining and shame-extinguishing friendship.

We have known each other and we've been friends for a very long time. Hope was my first best friend, but it wasn't mutual. I mean, I distinctly remember calling her on the phone and asking if she'd sit next to me on the bus. And she said, maybe. At least you didn't say no. Maybe it's meaner. She wasn't sure. Maybe it's like discerning.

When I was pregnant, I started this group chat to prepare and crowdsource. And it's been such a delight to troubleshoot with our friend group. And we just had this thought, should we invite other people into our group chat? I'm a therapist. I'm a trained early childhood educator

And I'm, well, you know, whatever I am. I guess someone who has the vibe of having it all together. And still the three of us find it hard to be moms, partners, friends, family members, professional women, and just, you know, adults. The stuff we're talking about, whatever the recent fight was with our partner or the parenting concern we have or a funny thing with our kids or it's like, what's going on with my body? I feel like I have like a family of squirrels living in my kids.

lower abdomen like I feel affirmed I feel normalized I feel like I'm not going fucking crazy and I had to talk it out with you guys with different perspectives and different identities that you're juggling. Lifelong friendship has been our lifeline. We sincerely hope our conversation makes you feel less alone in whatever you're going through. So subscribe to Landlines on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes are out now on HeadGum. Love you!