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Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hey, Handsomes, we have a huge holiday treat to tell you about. On Saturday, December 21st, Handsome is putting on a Holly Bubz. live streaming extravaganza, and you can watch live from anywhere in the world. So get your tickets at our social media page or at DynastyTypewriter.com. Again, the show is Saturday, December 21st.
And your ticket includes a replay you can watch for an entire week. So what are you waiting for? Go get your ticket. This is a HeadGum podcast. Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I am a refreshed, revived co-host of the Handsome Pod. I'm your friend Mae Martin, joined of course by... Your dear, dear friend Tig Notaro. And Fortune Feimster. I love that you're refreshed. Guys.
Look out. You're going to be dazzled by my personality. I feel like I've been really a quivery little shrimp the last few episodes. Today, it's going to be explosive. Wow. When does it get started? Maybe about 20 minutes in, you're going to notice a spike. You're smiling a lot. Yeah, I'm back in LA. I'm like, I slept a bit. I'm feeling good. Good. That's nice. We like it when you're refreshed. I wouldn't have said you were a quivery shrimp. Oh, you wouldn't? That wouldn't have been your choice.
No, that's what I said. No. Well, you do seem to have a pep in your step and we like that. Yeah, I feel like it'll be a process catching up on like the sleep deficit. But yeah, I'm feeling. I'm feeling good. But I'm like eating my favorite foods again and like... Ooh, what are your favorite foods? Yeah. Well, microwavable meals, you know, Amy's frozen microwavable mushroom risotto, you know. Oh. What a delicacy. Couldn't get that in Toronto, huh? I'm sure you can. Yeah, I know you can.
It didn't taste the same, right? It doesn't taste the same, you know? It put less chemicals in Toronto. I have a pep in my step because today is the release of my new Netflix special, Crushing It. It's called Crushing It? It's called Crushing It. That's amazing. That's so exciting. I'm very proud, as you guys know, putting out a special. It's a whole long two-year, however long process.
Yeah. I'm just very pumped for people to watch it. I hope people will watch it. And is it top secret right now that you're wearing a pink suit? It's not top secret anymore. Word is out. Well, I was said in a pretty little episode that. Our pod inspired me. Yeah. Because I really love our, you know, not to be vain, but I really love our photo of us. Yeah. Our main handsome photo. Because we look.
very handsome yeah and i i wanted to just um yeah i wanted to go with that feeling and so i had a custom made suit made and um it's pink it's pink Very handsome. I even say in the special, if you watch, there are two references to our podcast. So our listeners will have to let us know if they call either of those.
Oh, my God. I can't wait. In my mind, you had in your closet like a gown picked out to wear and then the suit next to it and you're umming and ahhing between the two and then you threw the gown out and you went with the suit. That's right. I mean, one of the references is like right off the bat. Really? Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah. I can't wait for this thing to drop.
It's here, baby, today. You know what you should do to promote the special is be a guest on the Handsome Pod. That's actually a very meta idea. Do you think we should do an episode ever where one of us... Ask the question. Put it on the list, right, Thomas? Put it on the list, Thomas. But for now, put on the list, watching my special on Netflix, crushing it. Were you at all influenced by...
I think I said early on in the pod that like one of the only things I know about fashion is my mom told me pink is very flattering to your complexion. And I've like held onto it my whole life where I'm like, you want to glow? Wear pink. And I think you are glowing. Thank you. Well, I do, I wanted something bright that caught people's eye. And I do like that our pod has a, we celebrate all, you know, handsome can mean so many things to so many people.
who are presenting themselves in the way that is best for them and feels good and is authentic to them. And I liked the pink and the suit and the play on just kind of. forging your own path of what handsome looks like yeah that's so cool i'm a little jealous that i didn't think to do that but i'm also not filming a special right now that's right yours already came out and it was awesome
When you release something, whether it's like a special or a show or something, how good are you at staying off social? Like, do you read all the reviews and social media and stuff or do you stay off? I read reviews. Yeah, I'll read reviews. If anyone reviews it, I would probably read it just because they don't review a lot of stand-up. I don't think. I'll read maybe some Instagram comments to see if.
It's resonating with people if they like it, but I'm not like scrolling every line. Yeah, I don't deep dive on it at all. I'm really curious because I feel like sometimes when there's reviews. I learned things about myself that I was blind to, you know. Like Tig does her trademark thing where she touches her left shoulder and you're like, do I? Well, yeah, I remember the New York Times.
did a piece on my Taylor Dane story. And they said how it was like a signature thing of mine that I repeat things over and over. And I never noticed that. And it's not just in that story. It's in several bits of mine, jokes, stories, whatever. I never realized that. And anyway, so. Aside from being curious what people have to say, I do find that I learn things or maybe reviewers say things that...
maybe I knew deep down and then, um, you know, and then reading it and I'm like, I think they are right. Even if it's like a negative thing. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but I, yeah, I don't, I can't. Even if it's just like a post of me with my cat, like I can't deep dive on all of the responses to what people have to say. Yeah. Well, because comedy, it's like.
art it's subjective you know some people i know some people are gonna love it and find it hysterical and other people hate it yeah and there's no control over that i mean all i try to do is like all of us when we have a special come out is You just have to get people to watch it because that's the only way to get another one. Yeah, seriously. It's just trying to be that, you know, there's so many voices of male comics out there and they get so much attention.
I think us trying to get different points of view out there is important. That's why you got to throw on a pink suit. That's right. Yeah, man. Maybe, you know what? My next special, I'm going to wear a pink suit. So you knew it all pink would be pretty funny. And then May, you do your next special in pink? Yes. Are you working on new material, May?
Yeah, I'm pumped to have some time. Truly, this has been the craziest six months ever, and I'm so pumped to have any time. I have no idea what I want to say.
So you haven't started writing? You haven't made notes or gone on stage or done a set or anything like that? I haven't done... a set in yeah about six months which is the longest I've been maybe since I was a teenager but then but before the six months I had like half an hour of new stuff that I'm gonna go back to that probably isn't relevant to me at all anymore you know like
that i'm happy because i saw you were going back up at largo that's starting again yeah going yeah going back up at largo and things here and there yeah yeah i'm excited well you're gonna have a lot to say oh man i am i i gotta get into the bear story i gotta you know there's a lot to unpack for sure
I love that you're like, boy, am I ever. I've got to get into the bear story. Bear story. Number one. Number one. And the list ends there. Yeah. If you just talk about bears the whole time, that's still. That's a solid special. Right? If I just narrow it down. I've gotten really into mountain goats lately. Really? Yeah. I'm a big fan.
Are you really? Yes. I am so deeply obsessed with mountain goats and have been forever. Like whenever I'm driving through the mountains with my family, I always tell my kids, look. for mountain goats because they will just be standing on the wall of a mountain. Like on a vertical. On a vertical. Yes. Question. I have a question. Go to YouTube. Fortune just raised her hand. Go to YouTube.
What is the difference between a goat and a mountain goat? Wait, is this a joke? Is it just that the goat's on the mountain? Wait, have you not seen a mountain goat, Fortune? I don't, I guess not. Okay, a goat. They look different? Well, I mean, they've got the body of like a barrel. And then they've got like little kind of stick legs and then cloven hooves. And then they stand on a vertical wall.
They're definitely more majestic and impressive. That does seem hard. It is insane that this animal exists on a wall yeah and like what compel but what compels them to do it like i guess they're looking for little plants to eat and stuff but then they've got to get down from there at some point and you never see that part oh oh well let me tell you something out here in toronto i am not somebody that looks at youtube or like i you i'm not in youtube world okay so i'm in toronto
I had a couple of days off and they were slow days. And I and I'm telling you, I think about mountain goats all the time. And so one day I thought, well, I was in my kitchen. I thought. While I was thinking about mountain goats, I thought, I bet I could find some mountain goats on YouTube. Hell yeah, you could. Yes. And I went over to my computer and I put mountain goats into YouTube and. Oh, boy, did that entire day go away. I was watching them jump from vertical wall.
to vertical wall and zigzag between two mountains. Do you understand? And like land perfectly fine on like a ledge that's as big as a kernel of corn. And they just stand there. But it gives you hope because it gives me hope because I'm like, I could. We could do anything because these guys don't look like they're built to climb. They're like you said, a barrel and some stick legs, like they can barely bend their legs. And yet they're like the most agile.
And there's not to bring up bears again, but bears, wild cats, eagle. Eagles drag these animals away. Oh, my God. And they just live on a wall. Anyway, I'll move on, but how did I get to this? I'm not sure. I don't know. Yeah, I apologize. I know you just said you're a fan of mountain goats. Yeah, I'm always trying to wedge it in somewhere. Oh, I was talking about it on stage because the day that I just an entire day went to me looking at mountain goats. And I am not exaggerating.
Thank you for that. Were you trying to sneak in the sound? I'm trying to do something and I just hit my sound effects. You hit your Cinderella noise? That's the sound of a day evaporating. That's what Fortune's gas sounds like. Sounds like this. Okay, so... After I watched Mountain Goats all day, I had a show at Comedy Bar here in Toronto, and I went up there.
And as soon as I walked on stage, I was just so full of mountain goat energy. And I just started ranting and raving about him. Are you a Capricorn? Good question. You mean like with... Is your star sign? No, no, I'm Aries. Okay, okay. Wait, as opposed to what, Tig? Wait, what do you mean as opposed to... You were like, am I Capricorn in what way?
Well, yeah, I guess I was pretty sure that you meant that in astrology. But what are you? What kind of Capricorn do you think I am? Did you think I said Capulet, like in Romeo and Juliet? Listen, I was still thinking about mountain goats. Right. What's your sign? Taurus. I'm the bull. Okay. And fortune, what are you? I'm a cancer. Don't say that about yourself.
And Thomas, you're June, right? Is that Gemini? No. You're not. You're May. He's shaking his head. I'm a Virgo. Wait, are you May? Virgo is September? September. That's hot. I knew it. It was September. September 7th. Sixth. Sixth. Definitely a Virgo. Well, we just met. Most of the people that I've been in love with have been Virgos. Like most of the people have been. between kind of mid-August and end of September. Really significant relationship for me. I've been in love all over the place.
Tig, I think you should get a mountain goat tattoo or something. I think the way I'm electrified by bears right now, you're lighting up about these goats, and I think you need to lean in. Okay. Well, I'm not a tattoo person, I'll be honest. Yeah, me neither. I'm just not. But, you know, I don't, I just don't want a tattoo on my body. Yeah, that's fair. I don't want the pain. I can't even claim that I'm terribly attracted to tattoos either.
I think they look cool on people, but like, I'm not like, oh, I got to get myself a tatted up lady. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like, you know, to make sure your flashlight has batteries before a big camping trip. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.
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This woman, I was like 16 and she was older and she drew it on my wrist in a kind of flirtatious way. And I got it tattooed to surprise me. Flirtatious drawing oatmeal? Oh, writing the word oatmeal on you? Or drawing a bowl of oatmeal on you. Right in the word. Also, terrible flirting. Yeah, neither is very flirtatious, but she was like. What do you think of this? bowl of oatmeal what about overnight oats may have you ever had oatmeal with raisins in them
Oh my gosh. Sexy fortune. Oh my God. If I close my eyes. Do you like cinnamon or brown sugar with your oatmeal? Go to YouTube and look at Fortune's sexy face. Yeah, also, I don't know why I said if I close my eyes. I want to see this. That's part of it. Yeah, Mae, don't close your eyes. Thanks. You want to have some oatmeal with this. Oh, my God. That's what Jax gets? Yes, baby. Oh, my God. Do you ever do that like in her ear? Like right in her ear? No, she would be horrified. As am I.
As am I. You're not turned on to. All right. To each their own. But I always remember that when this woman was trying to help me choose a tattoo. And so she was drawing like different options. And one of the ones she drew that I was. close to getting was a seatbelt across my whole chest. I would get that over oatmeal. Really? That is such a funny idea. I almost want that.
But that's good. And then would you have the buckle on there too? Yeah, I'm sure around my hip would be the buckle. That is a large tattoo. That's a good one. Whose idea was that? It was hers. And I was so on the fence about whether to get that or oatmeal. Thank God. I went with the tiny oatmeal. No, no. Oh my God. Have you had a seatbelt? That is so good. You're all about safety. All about safety. Buckle up. Click it or tick it. That would be under the seatbelt. Click it or tick it.
Yeah, you get pulled over by the cops. You take your shirt off. You rip your shirt open. Okay, so I'm neck deep in mountain goat life. You're neck deep in bear life. What about you, Fortune? It can't be Biggie. It can't be Biggie. It can't be Biggie. No, because of course. Yeah. I'm a baby bear. You need like an animal energy that you're channeling for this last section of the year. Yeah. Okay. Especially the special coming out. The pink to me says flamingo. Like, is that a sexy?
Flamingos are very sexy. Don't get fortune talking sexy again. Because flamingos are the sign of swingers. Aren't they really? Yeah. I talked about it in my last special, Good Fortune. I said that there's ways you can let people know that you're a swinger and flamingos in your yard is one of those signs. No. Which gets very confusing in Florida and at my mom's house. So wait, you can just swing by someone's house?
If you see it for swingers, if you see a flamingo in the yard, you can just go ring-a-ding. I don't think swingers means that you can just swing by, that anyone can swing by. There's more to it. It's a flamingo or upside down pineapples. Hello. Hello. Pineapple together. Upside down. Interesting. Yeah. I don't know why upside down, but that's a sign of swingers.
I didn't invent this. I just heard about it. Now, Fortune, would you ever consider being a swinger? And what is a swinger? Like you're in couples and you trade off? I think so. Like Keys in the Bowl. Is it that specific or is it just like we'll hook up? I think it's like a key party, right? Wait, what is a key party? I don't even know what that is. Here are the rules, everybody. Tell us in your sexy voice. Please tell us sexy. Everybody, okay, welcome to our party. This is the key party.
Wait, this isn't sexy. This is not the same voice you did. She's giving rules. She got really shy all of a sudden. Yeah. I'm very shy. The night is young. So here's what's going to happen. Yeah. Is that better? Yeah. Here's what's going to happen. Everybody's going to take their car keys out. Okay. And some people have the keys where the keys, like you can.
Like murder someone with the key. And then there's other keys where the thing goes into the thing and it's just a rectangle. It doesn't matter. Okay, you can still murder people with that. The key that you put in the bowl represents you. Okay. Now what you're going to do is you're going to put your hand into the bowl like you're pulling out a number. And when you grab your keys, you're going to say, whose keys are these? And then the person whose keys they are, guess what? You're going to fuck.
Yeah. I couldn't say it. You're going to have sexual relations. You did say it. What do you mean you couldn't say it? You said it. I said it. Okay. You kind of know if it came all the way out. Yeah, I did. You kind of wheezed it. I wheezed it. That's happening as a keyboard. So you pull the keys out and that's who you're with. That's a swinger party, baby. So you got to make sure.
No bugs that you're into every, I mean, I don't, you have to be careful with that guest list. And I don't drive. So I'm going to have to be putting in, you gotta, you can put it in your house key. Just take a key. It doesn't matter. Okay, so with swingers, I thought swingers were like, I thought that was two couples, and then you kind of do-si-do with the. Swap. Yeah. Listen, there's no rules to swinging. Yeah, I guess. I think that's also.
That's also allowed swapping partners. Okay. So we're, so we're thinking flamingo may be too confusing if that's your energy. No, I'm, I think it's fun. Okay. Wait, you're into the idea of swinging? No, I haven't done that, but I like flamingos. I know, but are you into the idea of it? I don't, this isn't, this is a lights off body, you know what I mean?
Well, no one said anything about the lights. Yeah. We're talking about your desires. But I think they're the ones that are lights on, baby. Anything goes. We're poking holes. Right. Whoa. And then what if Jax came to you and said, I would like to check something out and swing myself over yonder. I don't know. Swing myself over yonder. Yeah. Oh, my God. I don't know.
You'd have to cross that bridge. Yeah. You'd have to get Esther Perel on the phone and be like, Esther. Oh yeah. She'd be good to talk to. How do we navigate this? And she'd be like, what would it feel? What would it feel like to you? What would you feel? That happened past. See, okay, that's the key to Tig's... Pants. Fortune sexy voice did nothing for you. But if I did a stare, throw it up and I did it. Yeah, I'd follow May all the way home. And then where are you? What are you?
feeling these days may as far as like swinging and do-si-do-ing and keys in a bowl or are you like i'm down i i feel like um i think it's situation specific i think it did i've It really depends who you're with and what the vibe is. But yeah, I mean, I'm very pro keys in the bowl. And then what if somebody grabs keys in the bowl and then they were like.
That was fun. And then your person wants to grab those keys out of the bowl again. Are you like a grab them one time and move on? Or are you like. OK, I guess we're opening the door to a bunch of key grabbing. It's so depends. Right. I feel like if I'm present for it, then then all bets are like, you know what I mean? If you're a couple.
And then you're all involved. I don't know. I don't know. It really depends. But I think I'm open to whatevs. May's a lights on person. Lights on. Pineapple upside down. Pineapple does not need to be a part. But I feel like we're getting more of an insight taken to your feelings about it because you're like, no, what if they want to do it again? What are these rules? Yeah.
You know what I'm picturing? I'm picturing that like the key party starts and there's some orgy happening and then the camera kind of pans up and Tig's like a mountain goat on the wall. Like Tig, you're just, you're perched on a vertical wall and you're in the ceiling just being like, well, look down there. Lucky there. Oh, man. Gosh, how do we get on these topics? I don't know. Was this my fault?
Mountain, yes, it is your fault. You turned it into a sexy conversation. I was just trying to talk about mountain goats. That is true. And then you started getting everything all sexy. Y'all brought up flamingos, and I told you what flamingos stand for.
that's it so this goes back it traces back to you you were the one that brought up swingers and then i was like what does that even mean and what are the rules did you know that flamingos are only pink because they eat shrimp and if they did eat shrimp they wouldn't be pink they're only pink because of their diet my back my back and did you know that um like i think i've talked about this it's one of my favorite things to google if you google teenage flamingo
It's one of the only animal species where it has the most awkward adolescent phase, like a human. Like it just looks like, why am I alive? And it's still kind of, it hasn't turned pink yet. Lanky legs. It's all hasn't had a shrimp yet. Probably hasn't had enough shrimp yet. Teenage flamingo is one of my faves. Wow, did not know about this. Thank you for sharing. Mayfax.
What just happened? Was that Thomas? That was not me. That was Thomas. Is that our new Mafex signal? I think it's our old one. I had that from a while back. I knew that. We haven't had a May fact in a minute, so.
Should we move on to our questioner this week? Speaking of handsome, I mean, basically, if you have a dictionary on hand, which I would assume every listener does when they listen to our... podcast because we do use very advanced language and we learn so much and it's good to just keep an encyclopedia and a dictionary near you because if you open a dictionary
and you look up handsome, you will see me, Fortune, May, and our questioner, and Thomas. And Thomas. Thomas, absolutely. Today's questioner. is an actor best known for his Emmy-winning portrayal of Don Draper on Mad Men. He also starred in the latest season of Fargo as well as... The Morning Show. Oh, boy. Jon Hamm is asking today's question. So sexy that Mr. Hamm. Oh my God. Go to YouTube. Go to YouTube. Can you?
Fortune, can you like come out of a birthday cake for me on my birthday? Mr. Ham. We've been waiting for you. Yeah, Hamson. Hamson. Hamson. No, I can't say it. John Hamson. There you go. Hey Handsome Pod, it's Jon Hamm and I have a question for you. Guys, I have a surprise. We're ready for a first team rehearsal in nine minutes of room. Thank you.
What was the earliest you've ever been called to set? On set. Is it nine minutes? What was the first book that you ever read that truly affected you? I will wait for your answer offline. Can I just tell you, so I flew from Toronto back to L.A. to film one day on the morning show. Yeah. And when I was filming John do this question, the lighting was really terrible. And Jen grabbed a lighting thing and stood behind me to light John. Jennifer Aniston was your grip?
Jennifer Aniston was the grip on this shoot. And that was that crazy laugh in the background, too, if you heard. That's incredible. That's Jen. But the publicist, the morning show publicist was watching the whole thing go down. And then after we finished, she goes. I cannot believe I didn't pull my phone out and film Jen lighting this question. Yeah, that.
Jen loves the handsome pod. We know that. She does love the handsome pod. And you know who really loves the handsome pod is Jen's private chef. I think I've told y'all that. We tried to invite ourselves over for dinner. Yeah, that's what happened. And word got out, but no invitation happened. Cool, cool, cool. I'm available for Jen's Christmas party too. Yeah, just put it out there.
But yeah, so when I filmed John, when Jen and I filmed John, we got him looking handsome because we got that lighting. He looked very handsome. He's a handsome fellow. He is so handsome. Because Don Draper was the classic handsome. I mean, he looks like he's from that era, right? It's perfect casting. He's got that like... old time movie star kind of yeah yeah yeah well books at first he said first book and i was like oh god first book i'm like good night moon yeah hungry hungry caterpillar
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stuck with us I mean you laugh but One of my childhood books really was, but I have an older one, but man. Give it to us. Okay, I'll give it to you. I was so into, and I believe I've talked about this before. I talk about it all the time. But Amelia Bedelia. Oh, yeah. So she's, what's the deal with her? What's her vibe? What is the deal with her? With Amelia Bedelia. Yeah. What is the deal? She takes things literally.
Right. I couldn't remember either. When I was in elementary school and it was story time and you get in a little circle and teacher reads and you choose a book and whatever. I was always raising my hand, like requesting Amelia Bedelia. I just thought she was the funniest person. She was a housekeeper, I think. And I always give the example of the people that she worked for would leave a list of things for her to do. Yeah. And one of the things on the list, which is hilarious, is...
Draw the drapes. Draw? And she took it literally. She sets up an easel. Oh, yeah. And she draws the drapes. And I was a cacklin'. I feel like this would have inspired. early take bits like yeah like like I can picture like your mom being like hop in the shower and you're like oh hop in the shower yes yeah yeah it was so my sensibility and I think it really influenced my comedy honestly
Yeah. But then when I was older, I think in junior high school, maybe I can't remember the year, but I was really into I mean, I'm very into music, but. I was very into the story of Sid and Nancy. Oh, yeah, you talked about this. There's a book that I need to read. Yeah. Oh, that like electrified you, their toxicity. And you were like, yeah, it's called And I Don't Want to Live This Life. And it's written by Nancy's mother.
Can I tell you something? I have it. I wrote down the name of it to look up when you told me that. And then the other day I opened the notes on my phone and I thought I had got really depressed and just written a really sad note. I don't want to live this life anymore. I was like, Oh my God. Yeah. No, no. It's just a book that really, um, I don't know why it, it, I think maybe that like the grid, I think when you're.
teenager like you're drawn to that grittiness and that yeah the darkness story yeah real life story written about I mean I was so into the Sex Pistols. I was so into the Sid and Nancy story. I had seen the movie. And then I found out about this book. And like I said, I think I read it. three times. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. As a kid. Yeah. And it's very dark.
Very, very dark, but really, really interesting. Very sad. Yeah, I'm drawn to that kind of stuff. I like dark and sad. Me too. Fortune, what about you? Well, I'll give you two books. I have that one like earlier childhood book that always resonated with me. It was Tuck Everlasting. What's that? It's about the, God, I don't remember the details, but the broad sense of it was that he wanted to live forever and thought that that was the greatest thing. I'm pretty sure that's the book. Hold on.
Sounds like it really made an impression. Classic Fortune Google. Am I mistaking it with something else? Okay. Wait. Oh, God. Take your time. Take your time. This is good. This is good for podcasting. Or was it not this book? Fortune's Googling and sifting through her phone. It never feels like this isn't the book. It definitely feels like it's not. Whatever book I'm thinking of, I thought it was Tuck Everlasting. He wanted to live forever. But I can't remember why. And was he like a little...
Wait, let me Google. Can I just tell you, Jon Hamm is such a handsome man. He is also so smart, so well read. He's all of these. He really is. He's such he's such he's got a lot of Mayfax. He's got a lot of information. He's lived a lot, a lot of lives. And and. I think you'd be really disappointed in our responses. Okay, this is I Am Right. Oh, okay. He wanted to live forever, but I can't remember why. Or someone wanted to live forever. But you've already said this. Okay.
So something about someone in the book or had to live forever. I don't remember if it was a good thing or a curse. But you think you want this? Well, why don't you just speculate a bunch about what you think the book might have been? And then you see everybody get older and die and you're alone. And it's not the... awesome thing you thought it was it's a kid's book i don't remember may oh my god i'm gonna tell john not to listen to this but the the moral of the story was
When you say you want something to last forever, I don't want this to end because I want this to last forever. Yeah. You don't really want that because the beauty of life is getting older and going and. growing and getting wisdom and learning and yeah if you just stay the same at one place everything passes you by and it's sad right there's more to the story but i don't remember i just remember
That was an important lesson. When I was in college, I remember saying, I'm scared to graduate because it's so good. That I want this feeling to last forever and I'm sad to leave. And my mom had me read that book. Oh. Because it was, that lesson was in there of like.
You don't want this to last forever. When you were in college, your mother had you read a children's book? I don't think it's a children's. I don't know if it's a children's book or not. I don't think it's a children's book, but it's not. There's no way to know. I mean, this is the book that you love so much. I don't think it's a children's book. And anyway, she was right because...
I've had a thousand cooler things happen since then that I never thought was possible because I thought this was as good as it's going to get. Yeah. In a way, Ginger could have just told you that lesson. Maybe she did. Maybe I didn't even read the book. I feel like maybe I didn't read the book. Maybe my mom just told me this lesson. Okay, let me tell you about a book I did read. Why don't you tell us a book?
And then I'll go back to the book I did read. Okay. I also have two. The earlier one is a book called Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Yeah, we are disappointing Jon Hamm here. For sure. This is not like a literary list, but it was a collection of short stories. If you saw the cover, you'd be like, oh, fuck. Yeah, I remember that. It was way too scary. And every story was like two pages or something. And there was this one story in it.
called taily poe and i feel like for some reason thomas would know about taily poe but basically this guy he's like a hunter and he catches this creature and And takes its tail, but the creature gets away. And then every night he's in bed and he hears, Tailey Poe, Tailey Poe. Give me back my Tailey Poe. And I was like. Scary.
I was so scared. And then it comes into his room and because he eats the tail and it digs into his stomach and gets its own tail back. And I was, oh, and I think there was another one about a guy who. eats bubble gum and there's spiders eggs in it or something. Anyway, it was really scary. And Taley Poe was like a big part of my... I've never heard of Taley Poe. And Thomas was nodding yes. You're familiar with Taley Poe?
Yeah, I remember that book. The one I was thinking of, I don't think it's in that book, though, was The Green Ribbon. Oh, my God. Not The Green Ribbon. Not The Green Ribbon, which was that the ribbon was tied around. A girl's neck. Yeah. And, you know, bad things would happen if it, like, came off. Whoa. Yeah, it was scary. Reading some intense stuff.
Yeah, really getting in there. Like later in life, the never ending story, that book and my side of the mountain about a kid who runs away and lives in a hollowed out tree. And he's got a buddy who's a ferret and just like the. fantasy of the solitude of nature and being like 11 and you just live in the woods and he learns to do everything himself. That was big for me. Yeah. I mean, not that I'm a nature person at all.
have ever been outside but an adventure seeker you're an adventure seeker though yeah i was like wow that sounds good anyway good night yeah those are great I mean, in my teens, I read a lot of like Jack Kerouac's diaries that are just transcribed and that kind of like pretentious stuff that I was, you know. Like I got to be like like Bob Dylan's autobiography and stuff. Oh, yeah. Sure. Got to. I did read a book. Here we go. In college.
It was from a North Carolina author. Her name's Kay Gibbons. She made it on the Oprah's book club list at one point. Not for this book. But the book she wrote a book that I think would maybe only interest someone that grew up where I'm from or in a matriarchal family. The book was called charms for the easy life. And I. It was the first time that I read a book that I could like really see myself in a book because it's about a grandmother, a mother and a daughter.
And it was very much of what my life looked like at the time my grandmother had just passed. She was very matriarchal, head of our family, the like glue that held everybody together. My mom was like, at that time. She was kind of finding herself and on her journey. And then I was this like rule follower, responsible kid trying to like.
people please and do the right thing all the time so the book follows that family it's kind of it was kind of an early book on like southern feminism which was very rare at that time because we were coming from a time where men were very much the like center of the families and the decision makers and everything kind of revolved around them. And I went to a women's college and.
Didn't know you were gay. I didn't know I was gay. But it was the first time that I started learning about feminism and... The difference of like being in a classroom where I didn't realize how little we got called on in high school. Things were starting to get pointed out to me that I never. Yeah, you were questioning those paradigms and all the ingrained beliefs. So my English teacher in college had us read that book and it really blew me away.
to like see a family like that where men were not necessary. And the women were so strong. The grandmother in particular was like such a, she was a natural healer. And it takes place in rural North Carolina. And there were a lot of similarities there with me and my grandmother and like the girl, like her grandmother passed and her feeling that when it happened, that was very similar to me.
And yeah, it was just it came at a time in my life where I was like, oh, this is like I could see myself in that book. And just it really opened my eyes to a lot of things that I had not, you know, being from the South. really thought about before in terms of finding your power or whatever that is yeah your strength
Tig, I'm amazed you never read Huckleberry Finn because it feels like that's the life you lived. Like, I feel like Huckleberry Tig. Yeah, yeah. You know, I was out actually having my... Huckleberry adventures. Um, but I was so obsessed with comedy when, when I was little, I, I've. I've become less and less enchanted by it. Actually, I remember when I was 11, we went on a family trip to Rome, the four of us.
It was just a tense trip. My parents were fighting. Everyone was fighting. But I had this book called The Comic Toolbox that was like how to be a comedian. And if I read it now, it would probably be a joke. Like it was like how to write a sketch. And it was like.
of two pages how to write a stand-up bit but it had little exercise books in it like that you fill out I wish I had it because I remember being like at the Vatican and like sitting in a corner scribbling in this book and it was a real comfort to me because it was like take whatever tension in your life and explore it and yeah the comic toolbox
Well, that's why I, you know, why mountain goats are my go-to right now. That's a lot of tension for me that I'm dealing with. But did you feel like that actually put you on, was it helpful and insightful? Even if you laughed at it now, like at the time.
time i mean it must have been like oh i'm holding the key to all comedy right totally yeah it was kind of like one of those books like the artist way or something that was like oh you have something to say and you just need to figure out your point of view and yeah and uh I was, yeah, like 11. I got a lot to say. Steve Martin's book is really good. He was such a huge stand-up, like selling out.
Like giant like arenas. And then in like one day she's like, I don't want to do this anymore. That part of his career. And then he's just like off playing a banjo. Yeah, I respect that a lot. One year when I was nominated for a Grammy, I was asked to present at the whatever. you know, the Grammy or, you know, how the award shows have the daytime thing and then the nighttime thing. And, and, um, Steve Martin and Edie Raquel had.
recorded an album together i mean they they collaborate a lot and it was at those daytime awards a lot of times big stars don't show up to that and so it was like a whole day of presenters calling out names and no one huge names and they're like yeah bueller could not be here today and in his place uh we will accept this award and then you move on to the next one
And so I announced Steve Martin and Edie Raquel. And I'm a huge fan of both of theirs. Yeah. And I'm like thinking, of course, they're not going to be here. And then I see. like one of my biggest comedy heroes and musical heroes walking to the stage towards me. And I was like, are you kidding? me wow yeah it was really such a fun uh unexpected moment especially because nobody was showing up to these awards but yeah that's it's just an interesting trajectory and it just shows you that you can
move on and re-imagine your life and do different things. You could become a mountain goat. I could become a pencil salesman. I keep fantasizing about going door-to-door selling pencils. And you will. Thank you. Is that a dream? Yeah. I don't know. I always come back to a pencil salesman. Well, you can't get those in stores. Well, yeah, exactly. There's a real appetite for them. Yeah. You got to take them door to door.
those steve martin albums like um my parents had the vinyls and i was so like i would just sit like so tense in my body listening to them like i couldn't believe it that you could be so irreverent and when he's like excuse me i was like oh my god which now is like not irreverent at all yeah it's like so tame yeah i know it's so wild
When you watch comedians from long ago, and I'm not saying Steve Martin is hacky, but even like you watch Richard Pryor. Yeah, or Lenny Bruce. You're like, I'm locked out. It just doesn't even seem like cutting edge or groundbreaking or, and it's because. They were the first. Yeah. And there's been so many people that have emulated their style and, I mean, God.
Even watching my old comedy, which I do all the time. I mean, whenever I have free time. No, but when I do see old comedy of mine or hear it or something, you know. I'll be on tour and something will come on the radio when I'm driving around and I'm like, um cringing oh yeah oh my god i just used to yell punch lines all the time yell punch lines is a great time it just like i thought in my head that the louder i was the funnier it was
Yeah. And that is not the case. Sometimes it works though. Sometimes it was okay, but I do watch some of those old clips with like. I just can't believe it, but that's part of comedy, you know, hopefully. Well, yeah. Evolving as a. an individual comedian, but also comedy evolving in general. Yeah. Yeah. Cause even comedy is in such a different place now because I feel like. It was rarely personal back in the day. It was all observational. And now I feel like people are like, who are you?
You know, people seem to want to know more about your personal life than comedy was before. Can I say that the never ending story, that book that a guy I was dating. got it for me and wrote a little inscription and gave me rainbow gloves. He was a lot older and I was like obsessed with him. And then I found out he gave the exact same book. A different girl, the same Christmas, and he wrote the same inscription word for word. Dirty rat. And the rainbow gloves. And the rainbow gloves.
Dirty Rat. I've never read that book, but I'm also now not going to. Never read it. I am so sorry you went through that, Mae. Thanks, Tick. Should we hear what John has to say? Yeah. Remember him? I bet he has a smart book. What if it's Amelia Bedelia? Is he going to hate our answers? Of course.
He doesn't want to read Charms for the Easy Life. How dare you? Or Talk Everlasting. Talk Everlasting is a mystery to me still. By the way, I realized I did not read that book. It was a lesson my mom gave me. My mom reads like a book every three days. He is gonna hate this episode. Okay, let's hear what he has to say.
The first book that ever truly affected me was a book by John Irving called A Prayer for Owen Meany. I found it to be spiritual and amazing and intense and it was one of the first books I ever read that wasn't assigned to me. And it made me want to read all of John Irving's books, which I then did. I knew it was going to be something that wasn't good. Now I'm thinking of all smart answers.
I want to say. It's too late. Have I ever read a deep book? I've read a lot of biographies. I love biographies. But you remember how when we were kids, you would tease someone for being a bookworm? And now I feel like people reading books are like geniuses that anyone who has the attention span now, a kid reading a book, it's like, oh my God, thank God you're incredible. And back then it was like bookworm.
I don't know why I don't read more because seriously, my mom and grandmother both read like we're at the library constantly. And both could read a book every two to three days. Finish it. I know why, Fortune. Why? Best Fiends. The phone game that you... ruined my life. I know. Sorry, bud. We got to get off it and we got to get back into breeding. I got to, I got to read. I got to read more. This is Jon Hamm. Thank you for reminding us. Books are important. Thank you, Jon Hamm.
Thank you, Jon Hamm. Reading is good. It is good for our brains too, especially as we get older. We need to keep reading. I am reading since I finished filming. reading a book for the first time in like a year. I'm reading Lullabies for Little Criminals. It's a Canadian book. It's a kind of story, coming of age story of this girl's life on Skid Row. It's really good. Wow. Would recommend. Sounds interesting. Yeah. Cool. Well, we did it again, friends. We did it again. We pulled it off.
Wow, you guys. And you did keep your spirits up, May. You did. Look, I don't know if I dazzled everyone, but I definitely. Give them the old razzle dazzle. I will just remind people one more time. If you're looking for something fun to watch, please, please watch my new Netflix special streaming now called. Crushing it. Yeah. And watch it right now that it's come out because soon it won't hold up.
Watch it now and it could be one of the things that impacts you greatly as a young. That's right. It could be a special that people are using as an example of what doesn't hold up. So watch it now. You should watch it because I was inspired by the book Duck Everlasting in order to make this special. see the handsome shout outs and let us know if you, if you caught those and tag, if you want to post them and tag us.
I wouldn't mind that. Have some viewing parties and tag us. Put on a pink suit. Yeah. Oh, my God. Everybody wear a pink suit. Wear a pink suit. Tag us in your pink suit. And yeah, watch Fortunes. Incredible special. I saw it live before she taped and it was she crushed it. She's not lying about in that title. She crushed it. Yeah. You know where else people can have viewing parties?
Where? In your pants? We have a very exciting announcement because the holidays are upon us. Oh, boy. Maybe you want to tell them what they can expect for their holiday pleasure? Well... On December 21st, we are doing a holiday spectacular at Dynasty Typewriter, and we're going to live stream it. It's like, what a perfect excuse to get together with your pals, dress up like Santa Claus, put your keys in a bowl.
And watch our holiday special live streamed from anywhere in the world, December 21st. And then other really good news is that we have new merch at handsomepod.com. Including, get this, comfy sweatpants. You asked for them. You got them. Anything you guys would like to plug? I want to plug my ongoing shows in Toronto. at Comedy Bar, these audiences have been incredible. And I'm working through this material, having a great time.
While I film Star Trek. And check out my Instagram. I post about shows, but also I'm at Largo December 4th. December 4th. Are you there with Stephanie Allen? Yes. I'm there with Stephanie Allen. And then I think I'm going to do some random shows with Brett Goldstein soon as well. So keep, keep an eye out. Review. rate, subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to YouTube, and share your favorite episodes with friends so we can continue to build our community. And until next time, keep it handsome.
Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a HeadGum podcast. Handsomes, the audio version of my comedy special, Hello Again, is available everywhere just in time for the holidays. Go to Tignotaro.com to get a copy for you and a loved one now.
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