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Hey, welcome to the Handsome Pod. It is your dear friend, Tig Notaro. And your dear friend, Mavis Martin. And your dear friend, Fortune Meepster. And... Piggy! i just woke him up for that he was like wait he was asleep and you pulled him I mean... He was asleep for like a minute and I'm the villain for calling him what he is.
he he he can fall asleep in seconds he'll be asleep again in two minutes don't worry oh to be biggie i mean i can fall asleep quickly but i cannot stay that way i'll wake him up again and a little bit later in the pod to see we'll check in on him All right. Good to know. I could not sleep last night and I tried your, vaguely in my memory, Tig, you said all you do is like six deep breaths or something like that. And I was like, that sounds so easy.
three and that's it well it's not just three deep breaths it's and i don't know if this is right or wrong for breathing techniques but this is one i was taught and i do it um as soon as i'm ready to fall asleep i I do a deep inhale through my nose and then I pause and then continue the deep inhale and then hold three seconds. So it's like this.
takes counting and then exhale very slowly like you are really really slowly exhaling as slowly as possible okay i'm gonna try that next time yeah so you're having trouble sleeping yeah i mean i was listening to horrific true crime podcast right up till i got that's that's part of it and then i tried the breathing and then that's a good idea i don't know if you remember fortune Talking about the DePuffer.
This is not an ad. This is unfortunately using the de-puffer. And I was like, I'm getting it. And I got it as soon as we got off the podcast. De-puffer. De-puffer. And so this is like, it's like a facial influence. 100% influence. It's like a facial. Have you used it yet? Yes. I did it last night in bed. What do you think? I did it on the hot setting. This is like a facial massaging wand. Not a vibrator. Boy, is this a two against one. I think you go hot first and then cold.
I just want to relax. You just described my personality to a T. Okay, so Fortune and May are a real YouTube dream right now. A real YouTube dream. They are claiming these are not... It's really not a sponsored ad. It's just But you're also claiming it's not a vibrator. It's also not a vibrator, but it very much looks like one. Right, Biggie? But it does the puffer. It's a puffer. It does the puffer.
it doesn't vibrate it just gets hot and cold but like immediately yeah it's incredible i'm a beauty influencer y'all no i know i should put on guys did i put on this before What is that? You know, we had J-Lo sponsor us at one point. Oh, yeah. I feel like I've seen it. I've seen it. Wait, did she drop out of? I don't know. Yeah. Why did she drop out?
She dropped out. It wasn't believable. There were enough lesbians buying JLo's cosmetics. Wait, Thomas, why did JLo drop out? There were not enough lesbians buying JLo's beauty product. No, we just didn't get a renewal, so... We got a lifetime of memories Name one memory. This is one. If y'all think that we don't stand by some of our products, my only memory now of JLo is that she dropped out of sponsoring our...
Gay faces. As long as the bra companies stick with us. Come on, y'all. Don't leave us. We got your bras. We got your makeup. Lesbians, we need y'all to continue buying beauty products. Or at least start. You're drinking. I can see what looks like an iced coffee, but I'm going to presume this is decaf? Yes. Yeah. It is an iced coffee. Decaf Americano. You know what I'm doing for myself today? What? I'm going to go get myself a nice coffee drink.
And I'm going to take Biggie and we're going to sit on a bench somewhere. And we're just going to be, I say, hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You ever do that? Sometimes I just go sit on a bench somewhere. And I just, I don't even always listen to music. I have different places around. Is this one of those things where, you know, it feels very much like a, like a after school type movie that you would see where it's like. Well, I haven't seen Fortune. Where is she?
Well, you know, she's probably sitting on her bench. Yeah. And then they go find you there and you're having some deep thoughts. I'm like people probably think I'm crazy I will go find a bench in random places and just sit and be I have no that is the least crazy that is that's what you should be doing is there grass by your bench can you take different benches i don't have a bench yeah right so it's not a bench that you bring with you that you will
there's there's several ones there's some ones in parks there's ones at like one of those outdoor no i know where benches are i wondered where your after school special bench was no i don't do a bus bench but but that's like what What's crazy is that we feel the need to document every second of our lives. It's so nice to just go be and not have to post a picture of you on your bench.
not to have to be i'm just being hey just being hashtag being here's what i think this is really great um i think we can all agree fortune could could use some bench time with biggie and here is really what i'm gonna suggest you go to your bench that's got grass you take your little hooves off and you put your little toes in the grass and you ground yourself I like that that feels the idea of that feels nice GMZ is like comedian fortune feimster falls on hard times
Barefoot on a bench. I'm like, it's self-care. Leave me alone. I went on Easter Sunday. I went on a hike. to like Griffith Park Observatory. I found a nice bench there looking out over the... thing and up there there was like someone had made like a circle of stones like a meditation it was like a probably fortune it was probably for did you make a spiral bench visit that's her bench and she's on those hikes i've done those
yeah in the middle of this spiral of stones people had left like little offerings like a marble a crystal this is my kind of vibe right so I left um a penny that I found and then I left a little note with a poem on it and I hid it under a rock Well, I love that there's a spiral because quite possibly people that are in spirals are going there to spend time to clear their minds. Exactly.
And the spiral is a powerful like presence in the world. Like you see, you know, like snail shells, like this patterns in nature, right? Or you see these whales that are just... making spiral patterns with their air bubbles in the ocean and they're like perfect spirals like yeah anyway if my um memory serves me which it typically doesn't that is the layout of paris right is like a a shell a snail shell really I think so. Thomas, are you looking it up?
You know where I need to go sit on a bench is in Paris. Oh my man, yeah. Can we come? Please, I would love to go to Paris. Have you been? Many times, but I would love to go back. Maybe I'll go this summer. The 20 arrondissements are arranged in the form of a clockwise spiral often linked to a snail shell starting from the middle of the city of Paris. with the first on the right bank, in brackets, north bank of the Seine. Nice. TIG FACT. TIG FACT. Love that. I was cycling in Paris.
I used to do long-distance cycling, and I was training for a five-day trip where I was doing 50 to 100 miles a day. So I went to France to train and flew into Paris. And my first night there, I went on a bike ride and I got completely lost. And I kept telling myself just, keep the Eiffel Tower inside. But that didn't help at all. I could see the Eiffel Tower, but I didn't know where the hell I was or where I was going. And this was before there were cell phones and GPS and all that.
Maybe there were cell phones, but only billionaires had them. And so I got lost in this guy. picked me up and put my bike in the back of his car and he didn't really speak English at all. but he somehow got me back to where I was staying. And what he explained to me was this whole snail thing of the layout of Paris. Oh, wow. Yeah.
Those were the days. No maps, no Google Maps, and you're just throwing your bike in the back of some guy's truck and hope nobody kills you. I know. Yeah, I lived in Europe in 2002. I would sleep in these chamber rooms and hostels with complete strangers. Yeah, yeah. I love a hostel. Me and this man shared a room in Germany. And I'm like, hello. I don't know this guy. I could be murdered, but you just did it.
Yeah. You can be murdered in your own home, but let's not go into that. That is a hard cold fact. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I actually just got a bunch of security cameras. I've been living fast and loose. My gate was broken. I had no security cameras. I kept losing my key. And then now I've got a baseball bat under my bed. Well, everyone said I should. Yeah, why not? Are you inviting a lot of strangers back to your house?
Yes, Dave. I think we have bear spray somewhere. Dave, really? Or some kind of spray. Like a wooden baseball bat. And then they said, oh, you should put a sock over it. So, um... Oh, I already said this. Well, I didn't know that you were really gearing up for a massive attack, but I do remember you. mentioning putting a sock over a baseball bat and that's a really good idea yeah yeah safety first safety first but now everybody knows
When they break into your house. They're like, I know not to grab that baseball bat. Yeah. Yeah. And I want to remind people my really good defense. of like getting on your back and just kicking wildly like if anybody's coming at you And I do think that comes from my childhood. When my brother would attack me, I would just get on my back. I took one semester of karate in college. Because I think I had to have a credit in something. Sure.
I did learn some pretty good skills. I did learn how to break a guy's kneecap if needed. Oh, how? How? How? You have to kick down. Kick out and down. But I don't know what that means. what do you mean i have to show you well stand up because this is my friend come on fortune i i don't have the room you don't have pants on
I don't have fans on. Out and down. Okay. Yeah, I can picture that. So you're hitting it from the top on an angle. Yeah, our next live record, I'll show you how to do it. Next live record, you break tags me. And I broke a wooden... thing with my foot as well. Would you just call it maybe wood? You know what? I would pick a piece of wood. A block of wood. Okay. With your forehead would be really badass. No, I know, but it was with my foot. You know how strong my gams are.
yeah oh boy did we how did you get those gams by the way um my only guess is that they i've played sports my whole life so i grew up playing soccer softball basketball and tennis But I don't feel like Abby even has calves like that. I played collegiate tennis all four years and collegiate soccer my senior year. So I ran all the time. But I don't know. I think part of it is genetics. Yeah.
Do you remember the... in sort of like college age guys were really into crushing cans on their head like you finish the can and then you crush the can on their head is that still do you think people still do that I don't run around in that Not circle. Yeah, I really don't. I'm in bed by nine, but... Yeah, I've never done it either. Me neither. Yeah. You ever done a keg stand? No. Do you not? Do you really not know?
oh you haven't no okay should i answer this yeah i've done the text stand thomas marie honestly we don't know like in your past there are some things you did do oh my gosh i did wild things but not alcohol or drug wild oh okay i don't think we knew that you're like you walked on train tracks or you robbed a guy or you so wait you're saying you don't know that i didn't have like like in your younger in your dyke days when you had the remember the your okay dyke picture
yeah you're saying i could have been jacked up on drugs and alcohol i didn't think you were jacked up on anything but i didn't know how much it dabbled i think i was just jacked up on gayness but i uh Yeah, you were pretty gay. I didn't really drink alcohol until... Maybe till I was 30. I mean, of course I had had a drink here and there, but I didn't casually drink alcohol till I was 30. I think it was mainly because I was dating somebody that...
drank more than casually. She drank way more than casually. So you had to be in charge? Not just in charge. It was more so I was drinking to make our relationship makes sense and um and then after that uh yeah whatever who cares but um no i don't have any um i think like once a year and i really don't even really even drink
a drink even anymore but um maybe i've seen you have a sip of whiskey here and there i said you know you had a margarita in the past like six months i would say it's i i've stopped
Even a little sip of whiskey or a margarita or something. I feel like probably so many comedians have done this joke that it's hacked, but it did happen to me. So I will say that on Easter, I had ordered... food delivery and so i got a notification on my phone from uber eats that said jesus is on the way yeah that was pretty good and it was on easter
it was on easter yeah yeah and the driver was called jesus i thought you were gonna say the joke that i made which i i'm sure i'm not the first but um we were going to uh an easter egg hunt with Max and Finn and somebody said something about the egg hunt. What time does the egg hunt start? And I said,
Well, hasn't that been our entire last year, huh? Hunting for eggs. Hello. What? Yeah. Eggs are hard to come by because, you know, have you not heard about this? Because they're expensive and the bird flow. Oh, I thought you were talking about like a fertility thing. Wow. Wow.
I was like, oh, you're trying to freeze your eggs. It wasn't a great joke. No offense. Thank you. Fortune Marie. Thank you. You don't think that was a good joke? That we've all been hunting for eggs? I have not been hunting for eggs. They're on the shelves. Sometimes they're not, though. Sometimes they're not. you Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.
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it would be funny if you and stephanie got a babysitter for max and finn so that you guys could go to an easter egg hunt that'd be funny yeah easter is so much more fun when you have a child yeah it's really not a thing when you don't have a child you're like You celebrate Jesus and all that stuff for sure.
I disagree with the fun thing because my friend Beth, it is her favorite holiday. And before we had Max and Finn, as adult and and beth and i are like friends from way back we we we times and she organizes and used to organize adult egg hunts oh that's fun we had so much fun so how dare you say it's only fun with a kid
we would have we would have a whole brunch and we would all get a basket and oh i love that yeah it was so fun and then max and finn came along and now we just transferred it over to them and it's just our organizing more social things let's do it say the word i'll get into my social phase this summer yes you will activities though like activities are where it's at for me
We're going to be social butterflies this summer. Yes, I'm down. You know what also I want to do? Since the love of tap dancing has come to the forefront even more. Yeah. Um, I wanna go, I wanna take a, like a... uh tap class for real but i feel like they only do it for children so i wanted to i wanted guys i already have a dance instructor ready to teach us here in la that's true but i also want to go to a kid's tap dancing class Okay, let's talk about this weird...
Because then we'll all be learning at the same pace. Well, my suggestion is that because that amazing dance teacher from our live show. She didn't want to teach us buffoons. Well, she's been DMing me some suggestions of classes. What if we all pay her an exorbitant amount of money to do a private class, just the three of us?
She lives in Austin. And also, she's a major choreographer. I know. And, you know, we're... we test patience but i need to go back to fortune saying we would all learn at the same level even if you're not a small child a small child is learning the basic very slowly and I think we need that okay but we are too so we're still learning at that same level
But we can get a private. Are there adult classes that teach at that level? I feel like I have to join the seven-year-old. Fortune Marie, listen to me. I have an instructor. Also, wouldn't that be funny? And we could have dance recitals. Okay. I need a child. I haven't danced since. instructor and they will teach us a private lesson the three of us okay and so we can have our own recital and we will do that okay invite our friends yes oh my god yes yes do it
I love that it is so hard for us to even schedule doing this podcast. But I feel like we will make the time if this is, like, I will do that. Yeah. By the way, I have a friend who told me that her parents love Easter and love the aesthetic and they're always like, Like their internet password is Easter Bunny and stuff like that. And then her and her siblings were sitting around and they were like, wait, we're all born in January. That means we were all conceived.
around easter time and they brought this to the parents and they were like yeah well your father worked a lot and that was the one day off was easter And they're like, what? So this whole time, like the internet password is Easter Bunny. And this is all a reference to how you guys bone every Easter. Doing it like bunnies.
i know yeah look at that like bunnies that's a real that is a real love of easter yeah and the lord i Bless you and keep thank you fortune the lord make his face To shine upon you to shine upon you okay sorry Well, no, don't be sorry. I mean, I was thinking of getting the show moving along, but then one of my favorite things in the world is to hear... Is that him? Well, from her. Religious fervor. Yeah, just. And be gracious unto you.
what does it mean when they talk about countenance divine and like is your countenance your face I don't know countenance countenance divine like I think it's like a religious term for your face? Um, let's find out. Speaking of religious faces, the Pope checked out. Oh, I know.
I know. Yeah, it is. Countenance is a person's face or facial expression. Oh, you have a beautiful countenance. Aww. Yes, you do. Yeah, Tig, it's nice that you got to go and meet the... who knows what the next pope will be like it could be a scary pope so it's good that you i've seen online people calling me a conspiracy theorist and saying i'm gullible but um i will say that there is a prophecy of the pope
that said that this pope would be the last before the end of the world. And so when he passed, I got a little nervous. Wow. Uh oh. And so what makes you nervous about the end of the world? Um... Yeah, good point, actually, when you say it that way. Because if we're all gone... Yeah, I'm ready to say what's... I mean, I don't want it to happen, but I was just wondering what your nerves are about.
Well, yeah, isn't it kind of dark that I feel more comfortable at the end of the world because I wouldn't be missing out on anything and everybody would be dead? Like, I'm less scared of that than my own death.
No, I don't know. But they just found the most like the most um they found evidence of life on another planet oh yeah i saw that yes recently it's not confirmed or is it not it it was it's like 124 light years away or something and it's It's all, it's, it's, uh, the gases that creatures emit. Creatures. fortune please let the scientists speak
Can you tell me more about the creatures? I think, unless I read something else, I think they have a lot of reason to believe this is what's going on, but it's not fully 100%. shown as a creature. Unfortunately it's attention because we were right in the middle of getting some very updated information from a scientist. No, from you. I'm calling you the scientist. You were saying gases and stuff.
but then you were following it up with equally well-researched stuff. Was it a main fact that you were sharing that someone felt it was a conspiracy theory? Was that what you were saying? I made the mistake of dipping in to a little reddit thread about And it was like, oh, Mae's so gullible, and this is... I see. But listen, I just like a little joy in my life, and I like to entertain the possibility that all these things are true. Okay. And does it cause me stress? Yes. Am I overwhelmed? Yes.
And did Tig and I know at any moment what you're talking about? No. No. But you try the deep breathing. See if it helps. Buy the tinfoil hat. And by the way, real quick. We should move into our question, but does anybody have any feelings about all of the ladies that went off into space? Well, I feel like...
Fortune's kinder than me. I love it when the internet kind of unites sense of humor wise and and finds the same thing funny and yeah it makes me feel like the human population has the same sense of humor and so i am enjoying the content of like the ridiculousness of katie perry singing up there and you know it was funny it was funny here's my here's my question yeah is let's say
Because I understand what you're saying. My concern is I don't like pylons. Right. Yeah. Because I know. You know, they're just going to space. And look, you can be like, absolutely. It wasn't great for the environment, absolutely. There were some over-the-top reactions to what they were doing, and yes, money could have been spent in different ways, but... Okay. And then it's like...
It just felt kind of tone deaf, I guess, is what people are feeling. Absolutely. But, yeah, you're right, I guess. I guess. But it was pretty. I mean. I love Gail. I love Gail. I like running into Gail. She's like, hey, Fortune. She's always so nice. That's so.
Well, I want to support my gal, Gal. Oh, yeah, I love Gal. Sure, sure. Gal's great. Look, there's no... I'm just curious because, of course, there's, like, funny things, but then I go... oh but these are actual people i know i know it's easy i don't like the pylons either i don't like pylons just i'm like oh gosh right i don't like yucking people's yum
yeah that's a good expression they had they had a they it was special to them it was powerful for them yeah yeah you know yeah but yes yes there's there was tone deaf moments there was um Um, easy target. and not great for the planet and money. I think I just, I kind of, it passed me by and then so I only heard about it or was aware of it like when it happened. I didn't really know it was happening and I think it just felt It's just some things feel surreal. I just felt like we're...
It was just slightly surreal. I was like, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this. Cool. Yeah, I was just curious. I didn't follow it too much. Somebody, well, Stephanie. sent me a random person sent me something about it and I was like I totally get it, but I'm just like, man. it stresses me out when there's a pile-on on people yeah but how many groups of men gone to space and was it this big of a deal well that was the thing is they were like Women power and... unite and just
It probably wasn't eight men holding hands and singing. I love when ladies hold hands and sing. I'm all for it. That's my favorite part of any lady hang. I'm all for it. And I'm all for spending money in the best way possible and doing all the right things. But let's say there was a glitch and... This is a constant debate in my family too because I love space and I care about space and space travel. Now you sound like Katy Perry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did she say that up there? No, and that must have taken a lot of restraint which I respect. What? That's the song if you're going to sing one. I know. And can I tell you, Stephanie, I love Katy Perry and she got me tickets to her concert years ago. Maybe I've talked about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did. And I loved it. Hilarious. There were lots of kids there. Yeah. And Katy Perry and the sharks dancing in the background. I did not know that she had fields for kids. I was like, what the hell?
She's like, where am I? What if we showed up to our live podcast and the whole audience was kids and we were like, oh, we didn't know this was our demographic, I guess. Probably our friends from the tap dancing class. Yes. you If you're like me you've got a go-to shirt you love to wear and if you're like me it probably needs to be retired. But guess what? I got a brand new go-to totally unexpectedly when I picked up a few new pieces from Quinn.
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you know, world hunger. That would be nice for sure. Yeah. And also now that space travel seems all connected to these billionaires and sort of eccentric. It would be nice for all the money that Jeff Bezos spends. Like when he spends a big chunk of money on something, he also donates a big chunk of money to something else. That would be nice. Because he has the means to do that. Yes, he does. Tenfold. Yeah.
So maybe you should think about that. You hear us, Jeff? You hear us? Oh, Bezos. Bezos, I'm sure. Stephanie did a commercial with him, and nobody on set could call him Jeff Bezos. They could only call him... big bird Wait, he requested that?
I guess because of like kidnapping like oh my god like Big Bird is in the building yes Big Bird and it's like why not come up with something like Carl or something because Big Bird you know Big Bird's not there you know that's ostentatious people would be like why what big bird i gotta go see that bird they're like that's not a real person let's look into that yeah yeah like you know how when people celebrities check into hotels
hotels and they'll use names like Big Bird or like Al Capone. Nobody uses Big Bird when they check into a hotel, man. But if I was a stalker and I wanted to find someone, I'd go to the front desk and go, is there any... Is anyone staying here with an insane name? Is there, like, Big Bird? Yeah, connect me to Big Bird's room, please. Alright, should we get to our last track of a bird? I was first named Big. Hello, Miss Bird. I'm sorry to bother you, but there is somebody at the front desk.
okay um i can't read anymore so if somebody could introduce because jillian is one of my best friends wow are you serious yeah i didn't know that yeah i will tell you who this is and then tell you how we're best friends okay uh our question asker today is a comedian director and writer she's start and So many things like Brittany Runs a Marathon, Rough Night, 22 Jump Street, she was a workaholic.
And she just co-wrote and directed this new movie called Summer of 69 that's going to be streaming on Hulu, May 9th. She is amazing. She's one of my best friends. Jillian Bell is today's question asker. And yeah, we go back from, we met at the Groundlings. 15 years ago, 16 years ago. We were neighbors in two different neighborhoods for years. Her sister, Brianna, is one of my dear friends. Bestie, too.
And I love her so much. We have been trying to get a movie made together for a while, and it is my dream that that happens.
That would be a great pairing. Because she's one of the funniest people ever. I'd like to be in it as well. I have a lot to say about her. As you know, I don't follow a lot of pop culture, TV and film. Stephanie and I... we were like let's go see a movie this was years ago whenever the um britney runs a marathon came out and she suggested we go to that and i was like had no idea what this movie was honestly wasn't i don't think i was familiar um with jillian and we went to that movie
And I was like, this is so good. This person is so funny. I need to watch it. And it just opened my whole world to this person. And I think working in comedy, you know, you can get kind of. run down with it and you're not easily amused and She is so deeply funny, and I know everybody already knows this, but I, yeah.
I'm very impressed. As soon as you met her, did you know this is someone with funny bones? Oh, my God. If you watched Jillian at the Groundlings back in the day, she's so unique. Her point of view is like no one else's. And you were like, who is this?
person and she she wrote all those sketches herself so her point of view was like how does she come up with that where does that how does her brain work like that it she's just so like i'm dying for us to get to do something big together we've been writing the script we've for years i just just but we always are like we have we have to like have something together because but she's just such a great person she's like Just there when you need her. A good person.
Kind heart. Well, listen, no matter how big or small the project, go ahead and throw me in there too. Because big fan right here of Jillian Bell. Let's hear a question. Hello, it's Jillian Bell. I'm so excited to be talking to the most handsome people on Earth. Spacing of Earth. Here's my question. Okay, you're in space. Mhm.
on a spaceship and you've been told that the spaceship is going to explode. Yikes. In three to four minutes. Wow. And the only thing they can do to comfort you is blast Whatever song you want to go out With a bang on. What are you going to play? And follow-up question. Would you ever go to space?
interesting can you believe that we were just talking about that i can so now it's the handsome now it's the handsome shuttle hopefully there's no what does it matter if this expedition gets backlash because apparently we're dying yeah it'll be like the uh what was it didn't Buddy Holly and a bunch of people die in a plane crash. Yes, yes, yes. That was the day the music died. That was the day the music died. That wouldn't be a bad choice of song. And you know what? The big bopper was on that.
Yeah, Richie Valens. Richie Valens. And then Buddy Holly. And I remember Buddy Holly has that famous song. Every day. Well, what is it? Love like yours. There's that. And then also, wow, I've completely spaced it. Anyway, I'll come back to it. That'll be the day when you say goodbye. That'll be the day. Yeah. and uh when you say goodbye um something about when i die and then boom he died well would you go to space i would not
I would not go in a shuttle, but I would go in a hot air balloon through the ozone layer because that is what Joe Kittinger did. He was the first person to see the earth from space. And you can... in a hot air balloon with like a breathing mask and a space suit but exposed and then jumped off and free fell and parachuted and same with that red bull guy did it no thank you A guy jacked up on Red Bull jumped out of a... He was like a Red Bull promotional thing, yeah.
Drink Red Bull! He was full of Red Bull and vodka and just jumped out of a hot air balloon. I'm an astronaut! Because I'm stressed about the mechanics and the machinery and the... and the pollution and stuff but a hot air balloon i feel like is simple it's gonna be fine and then i can jump and parachute so i would do that but i don't think i would go in a spaceship i don't even know if i'd go in a hot air balloon really no well even if you weren't going to space No!
I didn't know hot air balloons went to space. How weird to be like on the moon. I didn't know that was possible. And a hot air balloon passes you on the moon. actually a big faux pas well it's probably a special hot air balloon big faux pas in the hot air balloon community it's a big faux pas if you go to space you're going way too high that's a big faux pas that's a big faux pas
We don't do that in this hot air balloon community. Wait, would you go to space, Fortune? I like space in that I like to look into telescopes and learn about planets and things like that. Sure. I don't want to go to space. just because it's like there's a rocket attached to you. And it's, you know, lots of fuel. It could blow up. It could blow up anything. It has many times. Many times. I just, yeah, I don't know. The reward of it is not big enough.
for the risk for me yeah i feel like what do i need up there yeah to float i mean like a sense of perspective yeah we tread water what do we need to float for in space Katy Perry came back with all this kind of perspective on love and unity, but William Shatner went to space and he came back and had a very different take, which he was like, It is hostile up there. We should not be there. For real? It is a cold and hot, desolate, hostile.
environment okay well yeah i mean i was just thinking i'm from the star trek world you know you don't even want to go i don't want to go at all i just I just want to wander around my neighborhood and... I understand why people do it, obviously. It's just not. Anything I've ever aspired to do. And so, okay, you get the message. This poor person is tasked with telling you, okay, you got four minutes.
and it's going to explode and we're uploading your Spotify playlist as we speak yeah I can play a song also the person that telling you oh oh it's if oh you're you're saying the person from like earth is contacting you okay Houston yeah Houston I mean maybe the Katy Perry's fireworks song also is good for this. I might want something.
like the rainbow connection something oh kermit the frog yeah i might want to hear kermit as i go out something really soothing and kind of your inner child yeah yeah i here's kermit's on my mind because i was Do you know who the singer is? This is a stretch, but do you know who Lucas Nelson is? Willie Nelson?
son he is so cool so cool he's so cute so talented and he did this post on instagram about how he got sober he got in shape pulled his life together and and did something he had always been scared of but wanted to do he's scared to fly and so he got his pilot license and he was just like making this
announcement of like basically somebody that really turned their life around and did something that scared them and I just found it inspiring and um And that made me look at his dad's page, you know, went to Willie's page. And then I'm like, who does Willie follow? Guess who one of the accounts Willie follows?
who kermit the frog that's perfect that is so perfect that they're friends not only does he follow i was like wait a minute willie nelson follows kermit the frog then i go to kermit the frog's page And then I'm like, who follows Kermit? I have like 60 friends that follow Kermit the Frog. I think I probably do. I don't think I do. But I filmed with Kermit. I got to film with Kermit and Fozzie Bear. And did he go by Big Bird? He did not. It was
one of the coolest things. I was like, I can't believe I'm filming with the freaking Muppets. That's awesome. That's incredible. Watching those guys in action was unbelievable. I mean, it was It's such an interesting world. They have stuff like.
And they have people that their whole job is to keep up with facts about the Muppets so that you never, there's never any sort of like different story. Like once they establish something about the Muppets, that's it forever. And they have to keep up with it. You can't improvise stuff about them. It's really interesting. And you can't film them when they're down.
Of course. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, shouldn't that be the rule for anyone? You don't want to be filmed when you're down. You have to always be alive and alert so kids always see them. in their alive position. I don't want to say Kermit.
yeah passed out and trashed it is and those guys are like rolling around and there's three of them and they're oh my god i don't want to know i don't want to break the magic unbelievable Tig, it's breaking my heart imagining that song coming through the speakers and you looking out the window. Rainbow connection. Fortune, what about you? I was thinking, I was going dramatic for a second, like a Whitney Houston, I Will Always Love You. Where, you know, it starts with a... If I...
You know, aren't they gone? It blows up right then. I'm just like... where do you want the explosion in the song oh it should be that moment in whitney's version where it goes quiet Excuse me. That's pretty good. That's good. That's really good. Wait, better than Kermit singing? It's just a different vibe. It depends. Are we being filmed for documentary? Not if I'm down. Mine's great for a documentary. here's his app one tier one tier going down mine's epic too i think So far, not that.
That's a competition, but so far, Tig, yours would make me cry more. Fortune would be more celebratory, I guess. You'd be inspired. But wouldn't mine also make you... For all the loved ones we're going to leave behind. We're telling them we'll always love them. yeah that's nice and as sad as mine might be wouldn't mine also be hilarious like when you had some Space. some distance from it and you laugh and you go oh my god Tig went out
On Rainbow Connection with Kermit singing. Mine's like a more Armageddon movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Armageddon theme song would be pretty good. I could stay awake. What about pour some sugar on me by Def Lover? Pour some sugar on me. We're acting like the end is not near. I would play the handsome theme
No, I would, I mean, my first thought was ground control to Major Tom, but that's really dark and sad. So I think... i mean i'd love to pre-record before i went up just in case like an original song about my life or something Like, hey kid! You did good. And here we are again. Are you tap dancing, I assume? Yeah, yeah. And all three of us together, we're just having to listen to each other's songs. Of course! It's on our playlist. Yeah.
we're like now your turn now your turn yeah it's like russian roulette like yeah you don't know who's what you're gonna die on Yeah. I think I'd go a great gig in the sky, Pink Floyd. Nice. That vocal solo, yeah. Give us a taste. Oh. And Tig and I have to listen to that. Rainbow Connection. Lovers. The dreamer. Push of sugar on me. I don't think we're taking the end of our lives seriously.
I mean, Fortune Ahim would be nice. Can you imagine the people at the ground control going, what the fuck is happening out there? They don't seem stressed at all. In fact, they're singing along. I mean, you would kind of have to just resign yourself to it if you knew. Yeah, what are you going to do? I know, like, I wouldn't want to go out stressed. I think I would. Accept it. I think I've talked about this, but you know Tom Cruise's filming in space?
He's going to be the first actor to film in space. Classic TC. Yeah, classic TC. Every time I watch these shows where they're in the elements and it's crazy, I'm like... We're actors, but what's happening? Right. You know, like the last of us, they're shooting in Alberta, Canada. They're all like having hypothermia.
Like, what are we doing? I know, if I ever have to do a rain scene in the cold, I'm like, oh god. Or even just the cold. If it's like... slightly chilly and i have to act like it's summertime yeah i'm like god i can't imagine i filmed a night in Toronto in July where it was frigid. And I was like, this is too hard. And I'm like, Alberta, Canada in a blizzard. But I'm like a glutton for punishment or something, or like that sort of...
12 year old than me is like oh yeah just punch me for real in the scene or like let me in there let me just I'll take my shirt off and get in the lake like no everyone's like you don't have to pretend yeah I'm like Fire me. Replace me. Please. I gotta replace. I miss my cats. You guys all pay me enough for this. Yeah. Well, should we hear what Jillian has? And this is my answer. nice Wow! Yeah, a little electric line orchestra What?
Me and you both. I don't know that song. Do you know ELO? No, but that sounded like... I don't know that song. Young dudes. That was amazing. I'm going to listen to it right now. All right. Telephone line. Well, that was a very fun episode, I have to say. I gotta say it too. Yeah. I was not expecting the fun that we had and the joy that we experienced.
But we did it again on Handsome. Pulled it off again. Do you need to check in? Of course. Oh, I just saw Biggie's private part. Also, when you lifted him up. He did a little squeak when you lifted him up. Of course he did. That's because he was laying down. He's like... God, he's relentlessly adorable. I didn't get to see him for a few weeks, and now I'm so happy to see him again. You are relentlessly adorable, too. You really are. Your countenance is divine. Hold on.
minute did everyone see our producer blow a kiss did you get thomas did you just blow a kiss to fortune and piggy yeah i just blow No, let me give you a finger kiss. What's that kiss for them? I'm giving you a finger kiss back. Thank you. Thomas, who are you kissing? It was just aimed in the general direction of Fortune and Biggie. And Biggie. Was it really? Or did somebody walk by? No. No, it was. No, there's no one back there. You were blowing kisses. That is so sweet. I know. I get it.
Also, get you a producer that blows kisses like Thomas. And look how adorable we are. It's hard not to blow us a kiss. What if Thomas wants an episode, one of us gets... you a kiss and it's like a reward for being relentlessly adorable and we never know who's gonna get it wait we get a kiss like he'll blow us a kiss because i was like i don't know if i want to jump into that relationship with
No, just a reward for being... Yeah, I can do that. Okay, thank you. When we least expect it. Like, who did the best on the show each episode? It's always going to be Biggie. Always going to be Biggie. Oh, look how happy Biggie is. Guys, it was a joy to see you. What a joy. Always some nice giggles with you. I want to just... mention right out of the gate here that I have a gig that is very exciting coming up. I'm doing a benefit, a charity event in Ojai, California on May 17th.
with Emily Saliers from the Indigo Girls. I mean, we talk about them a lot, right? Yeah, Closer to Fine would be a good song too on a spaceship. Oh my god. I mean, that's a good song any time. Galileo. But yeah, to blow up closer to five. Get your tickets for the Ojai Playwrights Conference fundraiser for May 17th. It is in a tiny venue. I mean, it is microscopic. So tickets aren't cheap. But it is a very intimate evening with a cocktail party, I believe, and meet and greet, all sorts of things.
It's a great cause. Also, June 14th, I will be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, and then you can catch me two shows August 23rd. uh in p-town or at p-town or around p-town i don't know how to say it and then also go to uh my dear pal andrea gibson's website to find out when our documentary Come See Me in the Good Light is screening because there are numerous
dates around the country and the world. And this documentary, I can't say it enough, it's so beautiful and inspiring and funny and touching and it's just killing it. at festivals so get a ticket i am very excited because i'm doing three more big music shows where I'm playing my entire album with a band and I'm so pumped and these are cities I've never played music in before so June 10th I'm in San Francisco
June 12th, I'm in Portland, Oregon. Never even been to Portland, Oregon. And June 13th in Vancouver at the Vogue Theatre, which is massive and I really want to sell it out. And please... listen to the album and then you'll know the songs and I'm going to play some covers and some new songs and meet people after and sign merch and stuff and it'll be great. So go to maymartinmusic.com My tour continues May 16th in Grand Rapids.
Minneapolis. Then I go to St. Louis, Kansas City, Mulvane, Kansas, Vegas, Lexington, Knoxville, Asheville, and a ton more dates just got added, like Chicago. All those good Boston, all those places, get your tickets, fortunefeemster.com. Also, I will be at Dynasty Typewriter May 10th, I believe. Go to tignotaro.com. I have live dates that are in LA coming up, so check those out. And I don't know. Until next time, why don't you keep it okay?
Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at and some pot. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a HeadGum Podcast.
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