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That was my worst one. That's the worst one I've ever done, I think. That was hell. I'm so sorry. Not a problem. And it is I, your other co-host, Tig Notaro. I think I panicked because I was going to do it in a British accent because I'm in London. And then I thought. i'd want to slap myself how much longer are you in london five more days yeah do you have a bunch of shows or are you done my shows i did my last um
music tour show. And then now I'm just like catching up with old friends and writing with my writing partner. And yeah, it's nice. Is your writing partner who you did your TV show with? I did feel good with him. Yeah. Oh, okay. yeah but do you notice anything different about me guys um the goatee yes i've grown a goatee wait no i looks good i got a haircut from debbie Oh, yes, yes, yes. Of course, the haircut from Debbie. But I have a question about...
Do you have a gray gown hanging in the back? Oh, yeah. It looks like two gray gowns. Yeah, I have two gray gowns for me and my 80-year-old friend, Tabitha. wait what no i'm just no i'm just in a hotel room and they got two robes oh those are robes yeah yeah yeah oh they look like gowns it looks like uh for twins or something yeah
Yeah, that would be interesting if you found out that I was dressing up in drag every night in gowns privately. I thought you had lipstick on for a second. I thought that's what the reveal was. Is it becoming a big controversy in my life? Do you say that? Because do you know what happened that I was on the day? I was on the Daily Show. And then I posted the clip. Yeah, your lips were really pink there, too. I know. And everybody's going.
Is that person wearing lipstick? And is that a girl or a boy? Because it was shared on the Daily Show page. And then I, so I edit my comment under it and I go, guys, I don't know why my lips look so pink. I guess I'm really healthy. But guys, this is an exclusive I can share with you.
I've lost my mind because I did put on this like lip tint and then I didn't expect it to look. I just thought I would look healthy. I didn't think it would look that pink. And I don't know why I've now explicitly denied it. so wait are you now revealing this on the podcast yes because okay because in the comments now i don't know what to do because you did put on lip tint and then it was like nothing nothing to see here Yeah, I think what I think what you need to do the only thing that's right
is to make a video apologizing to everybody and confessing that you did in fact put on some lipstick before your appearance. It's actually, it's a lip. tint by benefit that usually usually you put it on and then it's like a stain and you wipe it off i had no idea it looked like bright pink and then and did you not like how it looked i hate how it looks in the video
But also everybody's like so freaked out by it that it just confirms why I'm so weird about it. It reminds me of being in school of people being like, May's wearing makeup and me being like, no guys, I'm not. I can confirm that you do wear makeup. More than any of us. That's the only reason I asked because I had just seen that video and your lips still look a little pink.
And I was like, maybe May's experimenting with lipstick now. So I thought you were like, what do you see? It's because I was going on TV. I thought I want to look healthy. I didn't. And then. The really crazy thing is that now people are in the comments, like a lot of handsome fans are defending me. They're saying, if some makeup artist made May wear lipstick, how dare they? And I'm like really touched by them being protective. And now I can't double. back and go actually guys I did
But you can, this would be the greatest video of all time. If you, if you did the, you know, straight to camera apology and then come clean and just confess. But here's where I want to back up to. Yeah. Why were you so hell-bent on looking healthy? What is going on with you that you're like, I just need to look healthy for this appearance? I think I was really tired from touring.
I felt like I looked really pale and I was just kind of panicking and trying to control something. And I thought, and now I am not a makeup person myself. Right now. Hear me out. Hear me out. I am not. Fortune. Hear me out. Hear me out. It's crazy. Okay. It is crazy, but it's true. And this is all natural beauty that you're looking at. What? yeah fortune it's natural beauty okay so you say so i am saying so and um
Even though I am not a makeup person, I can tell you that if you felt like you were looking a little pale. Yeah. Putting on some bright pink lipstick before you go on is only going to highlight the lips and the paleness even more.
exactly yeah you're of course like i didn't put on bronzer or anything i went no i went with a lip taint taint yeah not taint what are we talking about stick on your change okay clearly i don't you guys i'm a boy i don't do this stuff i will tell you in my special good fortune that it happened to me too Are you serious? You put lipstick on your taint? Well, I do wear some lipstick in my specials. You can see it in my last special, but it wasn't like, whoa. But in Good Fortune, it was like, whoa.
Because they put a little bit of lip taint on me. Was it May's lip tape that they put on you? It was a similar color. And then something between that and the color chosen for, because you can, you know. do the different levels of color and in the color correction. It made it pop so crazy. So when the clips came out, I was like, why are my lips so big? And it looks like I'm just full on.
And were you not happy with your lip taint? It's just jarring when you don't do that in everyday life and then suddenly it's like pow. Lip taint. Crushing it, I had some, but it was just like a little boop and it was fine. I swear backstage it didn't look like they were bright.
pink and then something happened and it's just insane that when people were freaking out I didn't go hey guys look I'm a pretty little lady I can do what I want yeah I put some lip taint on and instead instead I like went hard on no guys i don't know why they look like that okay i need to can we actually record the straight to video apology right now and can we use this for um may's uh
may's uh social media yeah here we go can you help me like can you set it up for me like i i need help being brave so i need you to be part of it Is that the lyrics? Yeah. I want to hear you be brave. Which one is it? C or here? It must be C. I want to see you paint taped. Sarah Bareilles, your friend.
look we'll just we'll chop up what i've already said and we'll make a and i'll do it i'll do like a no we want a straight to video right now three two one please hold fortune and meg you're on the past A couple of days have been really difficult for me. And I've thought a lot about what I want to say. And I just want to say particularly to the people that believed in me and who trusted me that I specifically said online.
that I was not wearing any kind of lipstick. In fact, I said, I don't know. I used the words, I don't know why it looks like I'm wearing lipstick. Gaslighting. I need to tell you I was gaslighting you. I did put on... For the first time ever. Pink taint.
you know what it wasn't even the first time ever there's been other times yeah i put on like a lip tint and then i thought it looked normal backstage i go out i see the clips it looks like i'm wearing anyway I should have owned it I should have said listen I'm a they them I could wear look even if I was a giant truck driver I could wear I could wear whatever. Anyway, I lied. And Tig wants me to apologize for the sake of the podcast.
Yes, for the sake of your pink taint. Thank you, May. Thank you, May. Can we get socials to cut that and just have that so May can put that on their social media, please? Maybe we'll have to add some sad music behind it too. Okay. Yeah. What if this was all an advert for benefit lip tint? For J-Lo's lip gloss. Wait, so Tig, would you never wear lipstick? I have. I just know when to stop. No, I, of course, there's always that. I've had that happen, too, when I've...
you know, guest art on a show or done late night. And then I'm like, oh, that shade is not quite right. or like a gloss that really shines or something yeah yeah i just am very adamant these days where if anyone goes near my lips i'm like it has to be so natural like i don't want anything to look different than my how my lips look and so i've kind of gotten that down
Me too. I mean, it's not helping my case that I have two gray gowns hanging in my... I know. Yeah, you've been caught. Back in the day I hosted the GLAAD Awards in New York and... I had, they put makeup on me and like right before I went out, the makeup artist was like, oh, just one more thing. And he put blush on both cheeks and just went boop, boop.
and I was like okay thanks didn't look at it and just go out on stage and the video comes out later and I look like is it the marionette doll what is it with the big Like circle red cheeks. Like a Raggedy Ann. Yeah, it was. I look insane. And I was like, no. But I bet you looked healthy, right? I look like a crazy person that doesn't know how to put on makeup. Well, this is the problem is like if you resist learning those skills when you're pubescent the way I did and maybe you guys.
Then later in life, when you dip your toe in, you don't know what the hell you're doing. I wear a little bit of foundation. Yeah, I mean. Like on a daily basis? Uh-huh. Wow, I am wash and go. You want to see my little makeup bag? Yes, please. You've got it right there. It's right here. Yeah, do me. Whoa. I'm a pretty little lady. Yeah, I got my... This is my liquid. I use the same one. If there's ever a time to head over to YouTube, I've got my beauty blender.
What is a beauty blender? They look like a little... It looks like a rock. Biggie's like, did someone say bottle? Biggie's now sniffing at the beauty blender. Why do you want my beauty blender? I've got my Burt's Bees pomegranate lip tint. Girl, girl. So it gives you a little something. Yeah, you do.
But it's not too much. It's not full taint. See, that's not bad. Fortune's not going full taint. And then I have a little thing here to... um i don't know what this stuff's called where you put it like circles circles under your eyes oh no they're circles oh yeah these are called yeah Us explaining makeup is kind of hilarious. We should do makeup tutorials. And then hand cream.
Thomas, can you put handsome makeup tutorials on the list, please? Yes, please, please. But I think Tig should lead it, kind of. I got my circles here. I'm not doing any taint blending, though, for you guys. He thinks it's all treats because he's like, what's this? You don't use this much.
It is a treat. Have you looked at your face? And now I'm putting on my lotion. Y'all know you have to lotion the back of your hands, right? Of course. But do you know the most important rule about hydration? What? Hydrate from the inside. Yes. You're so right. You're so right. I've been very dehydrated on tour. I got to drink water. Is the tour over?
Fortune, you look like a grandmother putting lotion on, looking down, going, is the tour over? Honey, honey, is the tour over? I'd be a cute grandma. Terrible mom, but cute grandma. So many people are like that. So many people really come into their own as grandparents. I feel like I became a parent at grandparent age, essentially. So I feel like you're a good grandparent. Yeah, I feel like I'm a good grandparent. That's nice.
Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check that your pink lip tint doesn't look too pink before going on TV for that late night talk show appearance. Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
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monthly subscription fee starting from five dollars per month unless canceled so yeah the the your tour is fully over may yeah i've done all the music shows yeah and then oh and then i gotta head back And it was a smashing success, right? Dude, it was so fun. I was doing guitar solos and it felt like a fantasy. And I have to say, I didn't realize...
how much I'd lost my mojo or like that I'd been kind of down for six months until the tour. I feel like a clouds lifted off me. I feel really good. That's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. Do you get any Pontes thrown at you? No, but I did get people yelling out Ponties and I got people yelling out, a lot of people yelling out Little Cowboy. But then sometimes I'm on stage and I'm having a great time and then someone will yell out, you got this. And I'm like.
I know. Or I think I look really vulnerable and scared. People are like, you can do it. And they're like, little cowboy, you got this. I'm like, oh, it's really nice. But I'm like, am I giving off? Total failure? Maybe it's a nervous energy sometimes. Yeah, I think you're right about that. What about you guys? So I'm on UK time.
It's early morning. I'm drinking my coffee right now because y'all know how much I love coffee. Pinkies up. Pinkies up. Are you a don't talk to me till I've had my coffee? I can't remember. Girl. Don't talk to me till I've had my coffee. No. You are? No? No. I love it though. I drink it every morning, but I'm not like a huge morning person in general, but I'm not unpleasant. Right. As you can tell. You're being absolutely heavenly right now. Yeah. You know the pinky up thing?
Yeah. One time in England, I saw what I thought is the most British thing is someone on the subway, like on the tube, holding the pole in the subway, but with their pinky out. For real. Oh, look at that. How British. Yes, how dainty and British. Pinky sound. Does it make you miss living there when you visit? Or are you like, oh, I'm glad to be in L.A.?
I miss the people and a bunch of them came to the show and I haven't seen them in like three years and I spent 12 years here like my whole 20 so i miss the people and there were like two really sunny days and i was like god this city's the best and then now the gray's descended and it's raining again i'm like oh yeah yeah yeah this is the problem
Yeah. So that really is a thing. It's like gloomy there a lot. Oh, big time. Except when you're in Debbie's hairdresser because she is a ray of sunshine and she says hi. She sends her love. Hello, Debbie. Can we hear little Debbie's voice? Oh, what did she? Well, she came to my show. She came, she said, she said, well, I went to Tig's show. Oh, it was so funny. I couldn't believe it. And she said, and then she came to my show and she didn't charge me for the haircut.
which i was like please let me pay you she was oh no don't be silly mate it was so nice i know she wouldn't let me pay for mine either and then she threw in like some hair product and i was like This is insane. And she was like, oh, but you got me tickets to your show. And I was like, I'll have none of it. But she wouldn't take my money. What if I get my hair cut from her and all she knows how to do is cut?
hair like you guys right and so i end up looking having y'all's haircut well wouldn't that be lucky of you yeah would that be the worst without my curls Can you give me a little credit that I reminded you to go get your haircut from Debbie? Yeah, 100%. I would have forgotten. And Fortune, would you ever go short? No.
Would you ever go long, long? No, because it weighs my curls down. I went short, short when I lived in Spain. I didn't know the difference between trim and cut in Spanish. So I asked for a haircut. And he chopped it all off to where it was like crazy short. And I came home to I was living with this little old lady for the first two months I was in Spain.
um hello have i told you guys this and no but it sounds hot she had a wig on when i met her and she got comfortable with me and one night came home I came home and the wig was off and she was bald and she had one sprig of hair. Wait, one sprig of hair like Cindy Lou Who? Yeah, one sprig of hair. And how old? Like my age or what? No. Like 80, like 80. Oh, my God. That's amazing. And she said stress.
She lost her hair from stress. And I just wanted to be like, girl, let it go. So I got my hair chopped off and I came home like looking for her to be like, I get it. And she said to me, que errado. And it means how weird in Spanish. Oh, my God. While she's sitting there with one sprig. I was like. Are you kidding me right now? How weird? Oh, my God. That's incredible. That's really good. And can you post a picture of the short hair?
I will have to look in my scrapbook. Please do and send it to socials. I don't remember if I took a picture because I was so embarrassed when it first happened. I might not have taken a picture right away.
oh man it was still it was still the circle curl but like right to my head oh i would love to see a picture but the whole circle curl huh did you almost cry like you know when you see it happening and you kind of you're just frozen paralyzed yeah because he kept going and i didn't know how to be like ah yeah it's the worst when you're watching in real time yeah yourself getting the wrong haircut oh god
And then if you speak up, you seem high maintenance and all of that. It's the worst. It's the worst. I mean, I've had that with tattoos where I should have spoken up in the moment, but I'm like, oh, for sure. The one that says oatmeal? uh no that one weirdly i was weirdly i was really into that one may has turned into oat milk it's all the rage now unsweetened oat milk is what it now says yeah they were doing the tattoo you had of approved or it was just way what not what you wanted
There was this sketchy guy I used to go to when I was like 16. And he would always say, I want this. And I'd have like a picture or a stencil. And he'd go, I'm going to freehand it. I'm just going to. I know how I'm going to do it. And then he would do like. his own freehand handwriting on my body and i can see it going but you're halfway through you can't then switch to a stencil yeah wow yeah see that's why i just went with the one tattoo that i have
What is it? You have a dot. Is that right? That's right. Yes. Okay. I listen. I remember. I do not remember this. My brother threw a ballpoint pen at me when I was in sixth grade and it stuck in my knee and I pulled it out. And I have a dot. So I always say if I go missing and they ask if I have any tattoos, I had a dot. I have a scar right here from my brother's fingernail.
Did he need to? We got a fight and his thumb dug into my forehead. This is your brother? Uh-huh. Brothers are the worst. Yeah. Brothers are terrible. We all had brothers. Well, speaking of brothers, I actually just flew to see my brother on the East Coast for two days. What? Because my niece was turning one and my sister-in-law. asked if I would come surprise my brother.
and so i did but i also got caught in all the weather and then my flight guide got diverted and i ended up having to it just was a whole situation and um and uh and and she was his wife was totally keeping this under wraps and i arrived and normally he's sitting on the couch watching the news at this time that i arrived but he was she said that her friend was coming in town and that he had to pick her up from the airport and then it didn't happen and then so
Okay, well, we just lost May. Had a little technical glitch in the middle of my surprise story. I'm so sorry. No, welcome back. We were on the edge of our seats and then they disappeared. So long story short, I am sitting on the couch and it's the time when my brother is typically watching the news or a game or something and he just... out of nowhere, he's like, I'm going to go take a shower and do some laundry. My sister-in-law is like, what?
oh my god why now and um so yeah so he goes up and he showers and then god and i arrive and then i go sit on the couch and she's like i'm gonna go get him and she interrupts his shower he's mid he's shaving he's mid shave in the shower longest shower of his life and he's like and she's like my friend's here and he's like okay and he's like and she goes come down and say hi and he's like what he's like this
person oh my god um and oh also before he got in the shower she his wife was like all stressed because she was like well what if my friend shows up and you're in the shower and he said later he was like and i'm thinking This woman can't just open a door and walk into our house. What the hell is wrong with her? And so he's mid-shower, mid-shave. And my sister-in-law is like, you have to come down. She just got here. He's like, oh, my God.
So he dries off, he walks down the stairs, and then he looks over and it's me sitting on his couch. And he was just like, oh, like he just... head down, like stunned, could not even move. He couldn't believe it. Yeah. And, um, and I have to say,
My brother was just like a guy with a dog driving a Jeep, listening to the Rolling Stones and talking sports. And then he... meets you know in a one-bedroom apartment meets his wife i've never seen him happier she has the dog of his dreams and they have their little family and then he has his son So happy. And then his daughter comes along. You guys. I have never seen this side of my brother. Like a girl dad. Like melted. Oh my. He is like.
So I overhear him talking to this woman that was helping organize the party. And he's like, and you know, it's the pink, it's the pink dress with the little flowers on. And I was like, what am I? And he's like, what? like pink is her color and like uh it just really brings out her eyes and her hair and her lips Oh, I was teasing him. I was like, I feel like you have a little dolly. Like he's so and he's a stay at home dad and he does like the bottles and the diapers. And he's and I asked him.
I said, how do you feel about how life has turned out? And he's just like, it's a gift. I just wouldn't change a thing. It's a gift. That's amazing. That's so sweet. Yeah. That's so nice that you went. Like, he'll always remember that. Yeah, it just it was such a great visit. And when he dropped me off at the airport, I was like, this is truly the happiest I have ever seen you.
in my life and it's just like you know not that I doubted that he'd be into his daughter but it is a side of him that I have truly where he You know, the whole weekend was me teasing him like, well, put that dress on your Pinterest board. And, you know, and then I turned to him at one point and I said, out of nowhere, I go.
you know what i actually don't think pink's her color and i mean he he got whiplash he turned his head so fast with the dirtiest look on his face i was like easy i'm kidding yeah what did you say about my dolly something like melts my heart there's something about seeing a dad do like a ponytail or a braid on on
their daughter. It's a very sweet thing. Well, yeah, even at one point he was like, man, he was like, pulling her little curls in the back of her hair and he goes man i can't wait till she i can't wait till she has long hair and i was like oh you have long hair on your little dolly it just was really incredible it was really incredible always nice to see siblings content you know just anybody their best yeah for sure yeah when you see anyone happy you're just like
Awesome. Now I can go live my life and not worry about you. And everyone's version of what happy is, is different. And whatever is happy for them. It's so cool to see. For sure. Anyway, I just wanted to share that. It was a really fun time. And should we move on to our question? Yeah. All right. Well, today's guest is an actor and TV host known for his roles in the TV shows Billions and Sliders and films like Stand By Me.
to jerry mcguire to kangaroo jack jerry o'connell is asking today's question hi tig hi fortune hi may jerry o'connell here I'm an actor. I'm a host. I've been in things. You can look it up. Okay, here's my question. You get invited to something. An event. an opening. You know, people have books, you know, people have movies, premieres, specials. You don't want to go.
You just don't want to go. You got to get dressed up, you know. In my case, hair, makeup, a lot of it. Sometimes you got to pay for it out of pocket. There's a red carpet. There's interviews. press junkets, electric press junkets, Zoom press junkets, you don't want to go, do you immediately say, I can't make it. Thank you for the invite. Do you... wait a little bit and say, I checked my calendars. I can't make it. Do you just go? Or do you just completely ignore it?
completely ignored. And then when you see them be like, oh, I didn't, I don't, I don't, what? How? How was it? Hey. I know I'm a fan of a lot of people, but I am a true Jerry O'Connell fan because I am a stand-by-me obsessive. I know every line of that movie, and his performance as Vern is...
Comedy genius. He's like, guys, I forget the secret knock. And then they go, seven cents, Vern. I brought the comb. What do you need a comb for? You don't even have any hair. I brought it for you guys. He's so good in it. Look at that. This episode of Handsome is brought to you by Graza, my new favorite olive oil. If you're asking why Graza, we've got answers for you. First.
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He's in one of my other favorite movies, Scream 2. I love Scream 1, 2, and 3 very much. And he has a sequence where he stands on a table and sings. I love you, baby, and it feels quite alright. He's just, what a gent. Yeah, he's a silly guy. Funny, we were just talking about girl dads. He's a proud girl dad, right? He's got daughters.
And not only was he talking, not only is he that, he was also talking about getting hair and makeup done, and it reminded me of your pink taint. Yeah. That's probably why you say no to some events. don't want to put on that lip taint yeah that's what it is lip tint pink tint is pretty good i'm never gonna put it on again trust me i not now that i know what it looks like on camera
You got to get this Burt's Bees. Yeah, I got to get the pomegranate Burt's Bees. But isn't that what blew up your lips on your special? That was makeup. Oh, okay. My Burt's Bees pomegranate is what I use in life. Okay. Mm-hmm. Although I need to use it more because my lips are dry. Yes, Mae. Hydrate from the inside. Hydrate from the inside. AKA douche.
May Marie. Sorry. But Tig, I imagine that if you get an invite you don't want, you just say right away, there's no way in hell I'm... going like I you're direct that's what I thought too like it's just like I'm not going well but I'm not like rude about it I think I just feel like you know people get I think get too involved in their excuses to get out of things when it's really okay to say, I'm just not going to be able to make it. Like, that's all you have to say.
And it doesn't have to be your and even if the reason is you are not able to make it is because you don't want to go or it's because you're sick or anything like that. That's a perfectly fine answer to say, you know, I. I don't want to or I'm not gonna be able to go. I don't know. I just I'm not really into.
big Hollywood parties and events unless a friend of mine is doing something and I want to be there to support them or if I'm like nominated for something or i'm hosting something then i go to something but i just it's not really i don't i just don't really feel bad about it right but if it's like somebody's I don't know. I guess if it's somebody's birthday or their book is coming out or something I care about supporting, I feel like it is.
With certain friends and certain situations, it is more important to show up and support the friend, even if I don't feel like going out that night, you know? I feel like that overrides it for me. But if it's just a random invite, I just, I don't have any problem saying I'm not going to be able to make it. Thanks for the invite.
My problem is I want to go to everything. I'm excited. I'm excited by the invitation. In the moment, I have every intention of going. I'm pumped. And then something happens. And then I'm like, can I? if i'm being honest it's some it's usually something like my skin feels weird on my body and like i feel like i you know sad or something you know and and i can't i feel like i can't just say that
Or if something legit comes out or I've overpromised like four people at the same time or like, but that's like a real lifelong goal for me is sort that shit out because. Yeah. Don't over promise. I do feel like you, yeah, you probably say yes to things, to multiple people, knowing that you can't make it to all of those things. And thinking like. Oh, I'll have to pick one of those things. Closer to time. Closer to time. Closer I am to time. Closer I am to time. Indigo girls.
I was making an Indigo Girls joke, May. Oh, yeah, I like that very much. I think it's subconsciously that that happens. I don't think it's conscious. I'm getting, I got to get, I'm going to get better. Are you good at, are you good at it, Fortune? Yeah, I'm really good at managing my schedule in general. I don't have an assistant or anything, so. That's amazingly impressive. always like keep a pretty um a very specific calendar yeah so i'm always kind of know what's coming i look at it every day
Um, so I'm pretty, I'm really good with time management cause I do a lot of different things every day. Um, and, and if I say yes, I'm, I'm totally going, um, unless like. i a gig comes up and i'm out of town like um and those sometimes happen last minute but it's not me um just like not feeling like going all of a sudden normally if i if i commit i'm pretty i'm pretty much going Do you like the glitzy Hollywood-y thing? Yeah, I don't mind them.
I like a slider and a lot of those parties have sliders. That gets you out of the house. I'll get out of the house for a slider even if I have to wear a suit. And you like an electric slide. I feel like you're more fun at a party than me. Like you dance. You're like closing down the house. Yeah, I'll get into it. I'll get into it. So I don't mind one of those glitters.
cutsy parties. Yeah, those are fun and different. And I like to meet different people. And some of those parties have people I admire that I don't get to meet in other places. But yeah, usually I get an old fashioned and a slider and this gal's happy. But if I can't, if I can't go to something and that does happen to where suddenly I did like. accidentally overbooked that. Of course that happens. I will over explain, but I'm an over explainer in everything. Well, tell us about it.
I just, I don't know why I, cause some people say, if you over explain, you're lying. And I'm like, that's not true for me. I always over explain. I feel self-conscious, like it seems like I'm lying if I'm over-explaining too, but often. Yeah, I just like... For whatever reason, I'm like, I need this person to know all the things that happened leading up to me not being able to go. They don't need that information or want it. It's not really relevant.
But I just do it and my thing ends up being like a paragraph. Yeah. When I, when I could just be like, so sorry, wanted to go, but now I have to go out of town, you know, but it's like, I was going to go. I really wanted to go. It was on my calendar, but this thing came up last minute. I just got this.
this just got booked two days ago. And now I really, I've got to do this thing because honestly, I don't even want to do it, but I want to do it with my mom. And so I'm going to be. Do you ever preface it with, I know it comes across as being.
dishonest when you over explain but i have a tendency to over explain so here it comes i don't go that see that's what i would do i'd over explain the over explaining yeah even a therapist was like recently was like you over explained you need to you don't need to do that and I was like you're right um so yeah I don't know where that comes from or why
Um, but that is definitely part of my process. I also overestimate my energy. Like I'll be like, yeah, I mean, I get out of the edit at six and then I'll, you know, I'll get in a car and at six 30, I'll go to that thing. And then at the end of the day, I'm like. I, but probably if I pushed through that fatigue and once I got there, I'd have a, I'd have a good time. But I know sometimes it is hard just to, if you're like having a like chill time on your couch.
Yeah, it is very hard to pull yourself out of that and put on actual pants and not sweatpants and go somewhere. But I usually do suck it up. Sometimes your Wi-Fi goes out. Until 10 a.m. That's hard to avoid. Canada Day Party. Yeah. Oh, my God. I forgot about Canada Day Parties. Yeah. And I think also...
We have so many friends and people like our social lives are so much bigger than they would have been in the olden days. You'd have like the butcher, the baker, the butcher and the, you know, the local people in the village. Yeah, there weren't a lot of villagers to hang out with.
Exactly. And now we know so many people and they're all doing cool stuff. And it's yeah. And there was no electricity. You had to do things by candlelight. So you could only last for as long as you had candles. Yeah. I like what I'm hearing.
Yeah. Sig in her bonnet. My candle went out. My candlelight. My candle's out. Gotta go home. Oh, God. That sounds nice. I would imagine having kids, it's even harder to... want to leave the house willy-nilly and you have a good excuse not to at any time you can be like well typically but we don't here's the thing is it it goes both ways in that We're very, very lucky because Stephanie's father is our child care. That is really nice. And he is at our beck and call. We do not have a...
They have never had a babysitter. Yeah. They've never had a babysitter. There's no stranger that's come in the house to watch them. The problem is, if he's not doing well... then we're not going anywhere. So we can have all the plans in the world. And then if he throws his back out or his leg is hurting or something, you know. Call me next time. You're like, just sit in the recliner. We don't have a recliner.
Why not? We don't have a recliner. We should probably get one. You should. The kind that go up. with you you know that like launch you out and they also have like two drink holders on each side yeah so you don't have to get up for hours please get one of those Mae, you would babysit? I would love to anytime. Like I would talk about statistics with them and they could show me their Pokemon cards, whatever. Do you play chess? Yes, I play chess. I'd be riveted.
Yeah, they're in the chess group at school. And then they also are very into magic right now. And it's really funny because. They are constantly doing magic tricks that work 50% of the time. And they get, Finn actually will get very frustrated. He's like, this just worked. And I'm like, well, it's. It's magic half of the time. But yeah, oh my gosh. Do you pretend that you don't know how it works?
I don't know how it works. There's no need to pretend. No, I don't have a clue. I just take it for face value. And I'm like, wow, yeah, that is my card. Wow. Yeah. So I'm perfect for them. Have you taken them to the Magic Castle? No, but we're about to go because they are truly, truly obsessed with them. I mean, they both walk around with their cards.
You've got to be careful because I went one time and I'd had a few drinks and we're walking around and there's magicians stationed around and this guy showed me a trick and then I said... can i show you a trick which is the most annoying thing to ask him and he really calmly goes oh if you want to be removed by security then yeah go ahead oh my god is that for real you just no one i thought i thought people could just
Oh, maybe only members can do magic? Only members of the magic circle, which I'm not. Whoa. If you want to be removed, try your magic trick in here and see what happens. I know. I was humiliated. Friend of the pod, Neil Patrick Harris, is a big Magic Castle guy. Oh, really? Does he do magic himself, too?
Yeah, he does magic and is a member there and has been for years and is, I think, pretty. He lives in New York now, but when he was in L.A., I think was pretty heavily involved there. Can we put it on the list? Magic Castle. I really want to go. I mean, you guys are going anywhere with the family, but I would like to go.
Can May and I go with you guys? Yeah. Yeah, we can bring you to the Magic Castle with us. But there's a strict dress code, right? Yeah, you gotta dress handsome. Yeah, like they made me wear a blazer that they had in the back. Yeah, you have to wear a suit for guys, dresses for ladies, or if you're a lady, you can wear a suit as well. Well, luckily, our little cubs really enjoy getting dressed up.
a real fun twist because I remember when my brother and I were little, it was, we fought it getting dressed up, Max and Finn. They're good. I liked getting dressed up in a suit when I was little, but luckily now I have my. My pink taint. So I'm going to be dressed to the nines. Well, with that, should we hear what Jerry's answer was?
Yes, please. Off of your pink taint. Well, let me tell you what I do when I get an invite that I don't want to go to. I know I'm supposed to immediately just say, I can't make it. Thank you so much for the invite. Like, just... Rip the Band-Aid off fast. Just get it out there. Can't make it. Thank you so much for the invite. Best of luck with everything. I can't wait to see you. I know that's what you're supposed to do, but I...
I just completely delete the message. I act like I never got, I just delete it. Never saw it. Never think of it. And then, um, Just play dumb and go, oh, yeah, I'm sorry. What? I always support you. I'm sorry. What? I forgot. That's what I do. Just completely ignore it. Play dumb. Love you all. Love you, chair bear. Well, now word is out. People, everybody listens to the handsome pod. So now everybody's going to know that Jerry is full of it.
I love that he says, I always support you. I can't do it. I still think about like there was a friend who's I told her I would go to her premiere. And I forgot I had another event that night and I didn't go. And I still think about that. I did have a comedian who I will not name say they were going to do my Largo show. Was it me? Was it me?
It was Tig Notaro. No, but it was like an hour before the show and he texts me, hey, I'm really not feeling well. I'm really tired and I'm not going to make it. I never mind when people flake because I'm a flake. So I was like, hey, man, no worries. I'm like. Two hours later, I see him on Instagram at a party raving. So wait, that matters to you? You've probably done that too, yeah? Yeah, I was going to say, that doesn't sound too un-May-like.
No, I don't flake to go to other things. Usually I'll freak out and cancel everything and just sit home and feel guilty or be anxious. So it matters to you that he canceled. you would you you're like then you better just stay home you better stay home and look at the wall yeah okay it was just so shameless to be on instagram like yeah it's like oh my god but i kind of you know i respect it i respect it more new things about each other today as always what a podcast
loved the story and i want to revisit maybe in a future episode the the woman with the one sprig of hair i i just am like i can't believe her the pattern behind you makes it look like you're you're the coliseum is behind you or something oh yeah yeah it does yeah oh yeah i mean are you entertained
I would leave a note in this hotel room for handsome listeners, except nobody's... found the one in the silver lake lounge that i left yeah but all in good time that's the fun it's not like you need a response you know within two weeks plays a long game yeah if you That's going to be the fun is we're going to go about our lives. We're going to end the podcast.
We're going to go off and do our own things. And then we're going to hear through a friend of a friend that someone found that. And then it's going to go viral online. seven years from now that would be good if it was actually like decades from now decades yeah but you have to leave a note in your in that hotel okay you heard it here I'm staying at Shoreditch House in London. Okay. And I'm going to leave a note. Let's see. Behind the TV, I think. So there's the TV. I'm going to leave the note.
behind the TV. Okay. And I'm in room number nine. Number nine. What's it called? The shortage house? Shortage house. Yeah. Room number nine. A note from May will be behind the TV. That was pointless for you to get up and wander around, right? Yeah, well, I was looking for a spot. Yeah, yeah. You wanted to feel the space. And what did we offer?
Was it a free link to a streaming show? Key party key chain. Oh, a key chain. People were asking what the 822 means on our key party key chains. It's when our podcast started. Oh. Oh. August 22nd. Did you come up with that? I did not. I don't know who came up with it. That's really nice. I like that's a nice touch. 822. I came up with it. I am a genius. Classic Thomas. Classic Thomas. That's amazing. So if you get a key part.
We sell key party key chains. 822 is when the pod started. We also have handsome hoodies. Look at this. That looks so good on you, Fortune. I swear to God, I'm not trying to sell them because whatever. Why are you not trying to sell them? I mean, we got to sell them. Yeah, come on. I'm telling you this genuinely.
This hoodie, and I have our matching sweatpants on too, the most comfortable. I'm telling you, anyone that buys this, I dare you to think this is not the most comfortable sweatpants. I dare you. I dare you to think that. I dare you to think, period. Yeah, wow. All right, well, settle down, Fortune. Both of our live shows have sold out now in Austin and in Nashville. Thank you guys for that.
You're in luck because our Austin show on April 12th is going to be live streamed. There are no tickets left. So that's the only way to see it. That link will be good for a week. And it's going to be. a really fun show we got about there's that'll be the biggest live stream we've had as far as in person 3000 people. That's going to be off the charts. And I have actually a surprise for Fortune and May that night. Are you serious? Look how their faces lit up.
uh yeah i planned this with thomas i have a a big surprise for both of you oh my gosh it's going to be in front of 3 000 people in austin and for the entire streaming audience you're not going to want to miss this because thomas is it not a special surprise it's going to be a very special surprise oh my god maybe a bit of a challenge oh a challenge Whoa. Yeah, but it is no doubt a surprise. I like the challenge. Don't miss that, you guys. Get your tickets.
Yeah, have a watch party, watch with your friends, and you probably, I think, can send in a question for us on the live stream, and we might answer some audience questions. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, what do you got coming up? My tour is starting. I have one last practice show in Ontario, California, and then my next big tour starts in Savannah, Georgia, and Charleston, South Carolina.
the beginning of April. And then I have Rockford, Illinois, Columbus, we added a show, Greensboro, North Carolina, Roanoke, Baltimore. Grand Rapids, Minneapolis, lots of places. You can go to my website, fortunefeemster.com for tickets. Awesome. And I'm going to be in Chicago hosting the Ambies Awards. It's the podcasting. Awards. That's on March 31st. I'll be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, June 14th. I'll be in P-Town.
on August 23rd. And then go to tignotaro.com for all ticket and show information. And I'm also going to be working out new stuff at Largo in Los Angeles. and Dynasty Typewriter. So get those dates online at tignotaro.com. Please share an episode, your favorite episode with your friends. And let's keep building this awesome community. And make sure to subscribe to the podcast as well as our YouTube channel.
And like and review. I am at Largo on March 28th and then April 25th. And also what I would love so much is if people... listen to my album it's out it's like and you can order it's a really cool vinyl um and there's some cool t-shirts on maymartinmusic.com and then if you go on spotify and stream it let me know what your favorite song is awesome And congrats again on the album and tour. Very cool. Thanks, man. Yeah. But until then. Yeah. Keep it handsome.
Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. That was a hate gum podcast.
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Hey, I'm Wayne Brady. And I'm Jonathan Mangum. And we're two big improv nerds who get a chance to play and make stuff up on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway or Let's Make a Deal. And we're now hosting a new improvised show called What If on the HeadGum Podcast Network. And on What If, we believe...
that improvisation is a conversation. So we get to have conversations with guests from the worlds of TV, film, tech, and literature. Guests like Bobby Moynihan, Aisha Tyler, LeVar Burton, and Adam Conover. We ask them the big, ridiculous questions like, what if you heard a monkey's feelings? What if your grandma was a secret agent? What if Jonathan was invited to the cookout?
I'm not. And then we turn the conversation into spontaneous scenes, songs, well, because that's what we do. Subscribe to What If on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, wherever you get your podcasts, and watch episodes on YouTube. No script, no net. Just what if.