Breckin Meyer asks about breakups

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Only at McDonald's. For limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Hey, it's your friend Tig Notaro on the Handsome Pod. I'm sitting here with my co-host. Mae Martin. And fortune beamster. Oh, good to see you guys. We did live recordings yesterday. I've been thinking a lot about them. How fun and electrifying that is to be in the same room with the loves of my life. I know.

Getting kisses. I mean, we lit up. Let's be honest. We lit up. Yeah. That's my stage name is Lesby Honest. Lesby Honest. I am the lesbian that tells the truth. I like that.

Speaking of, I do want to mention that, well, I did our friend Tom Papa's podcast. You were lesbianist on that. I was lesbianist. I know Tom Papa. I've done a radio show with him for the last five years on SiriusXM. Oh, you do know him. You know this, you've been on our show. But you did his own podcast. Yes, I did. I love Tom. I think he's one of the funniest comedians. He's just, he's so, I love ridiculousness. I know.

He's great. He is a silly, silly man. Yeah. Well, it got picked up by the news. It did because, but I didn't know. That's what I was telling you guys before the podcast is I was getting texts and emails. From friends that I was a little surprised. Listen to Tom Papa's podcast. One of the people that reached out was Lucy Lawless from the show Xena. And, you know, she's living in New Zealand. New Zealand? No. Oh, boy. Here we go. Living on her farm.

And then I get this email. I actually, I didn't even know what it was about at first because she was like, um, did she start it with?

hello lesbianas she sure did no she was just like hey rob that's her husband she said rob and i are so proud of you for speaking out um and and i i honestly thought for a second that she sent the wrong like an email to the wrong person and I was I was like I'm gonna write her later in the day and I kept getting these texts and emails like hey you know thanks for speaking out and uh and I

Oh, hey, I listened to Tom. My friend who lives in France wrote me. And he said, hey, loved you on Tom Papa's, what you said on Tom Papa's show. And I was like. God, not that Tom isn't a loved and popular comedian or podcaster, but they were just friends that... I was just a little surprised that that was their wheelhouse in podcasting. And I, meanwhile, later found out that my manager reached out and said,

Just so you know, Fox News reached out wanting to talk to you because of what you said about Cheryl Hines on Tom's podcast. Right, because you, I mean... I feel like you've spoken around it on this pod, but this was the first time that you were sort of directly addressed it. Well, yeah, I didn't feel like I thought it was clear where I stood. I had a podcast with her. I had a longstanding friendship. She was, you know, just a really important.

person in my life i loved being ridiculous with her yeah you guys were very funny together it was so funny silliness and i remember you know i forgot that tom listened to that podcast and so when i was on his show it wasn't like a setup I didn't know he was going to ask me but he was asking or brought up that show and and as I was talking to him I was thinking oh right I remember him writing me from time to time about different episodes so

But yeah, we would talk about a different podcast or a different documentary every week, but barely. We mainly just talked about who we were attracted to on the documentary. And then we would do live streams where we would slap each other in the face and take shots. It wasn't terribly presidential or political. Not political at all. not in the slightest bit god that's so um it makes it so much more heartbreaking the

Because, yeah, that was such a golden moment and friendship. But I didn't hear what you said. I didn't hear either. I don't know what was said. I just basically said that. Just that. She was one of my favorites and somebody I absolutely loved being silly. One of my favorite things to do is find a bit and tee somebody up. to do something stupid and right like i love to sit back and like you know and be like oh yeah and how would that look and entertain me yeah yeah and um and so cheryl

I don't know. She was just a real bright spot in my life. And for people who don't know, Cheryl is married to RFK Jr. Yeah. Wild opinions. Wild opinions. But has the power now to enact some of these things. To like legislate his wild opinions. Well, yeah, and he's also a part of an administration where they are... Ruining. There's a lot of issues that I do not believe in that he is endorsing that Cheryl is clearly endorsing. And it must have been.

confusing as a friend but it's almost like because i feel like initially it was there was a separation of like well yeah he's got his opinions but you know and then it slowly has become like like sort of must be sort of validating that you were like, Oh no, this is a problem because now it clearly has evolved into, you know, but that's, that's what I talked about on Tom's podcast is that.

She says that we don't agree on everything. And I think having such a vague statement, you can... choose to think that she really doesn't believe in a lot of what he's doing but my point is Stephanie and I don't agree on the temperature in our house but I would not frame it like Stephanie and I don't agree on everything right you know you know what I'm saying it's it's just it's too vague and there's too much of a gap there and yeah it's very strange and and um well like

Thomas was saying, I think a lot of people can relate to this of having someone they love in their family or a friend who's just sort of drifting into a pretty extreme ideology. And how do you maintain a... relationship and where is your where do you draw the line and I think it's well and it took me honestly it took me a while to draw a line because I I continued to reach out to Cheryl and say, you know, hey, I'm thinking about you. Hey, I hope you're doing okay. Hey, I'm sending love.

And I care about you. And she would respond really pleasantly and friendly and say, oh, thank you for this. And I was open to, hey, let's remain friendly. And yeah, this.

You know, I cared about Cheryl. I care about Cheryl, for sure. That doesn't change. It's just, it's hard to pretend like it's weird that... anybody's confused because it's a real about face it is a real about face so i i didn't sever the friendship but i did notice that Once he was running for president and once I stepped away from our old podcast, I never heard from her again, other than nice responses to me sending love when I thought.

maybe she needs support or maybe she's feeling this way or that based on what i knew of her yeah yeah yeah yeah so well so that's been your your week is Or was it yesterday you got all these messages? Yeah, it just started popping up this morning. yeah right well no i mean for me yesterday yesterday morning is i woke up to my email from lucy lawless and then i i continued to get a surreal sentence for me like that would make my day

Well, yeah, again, I was like, wow, Lucy follows Tom Papa's podcast. That's so cool. And then I did. I thought all these people were just listening to Tom's podcast. And maybe they are, but. Then my manager reached out and said, Fox News wanted to talk to you. I can't wait for you to go on Fox News. I can't wait. And then I drift into MAGA. You're like, actually, they had a lot of good points. All of a sudden, Diggs is like, I would like to amp this other podcast back up with Cheryl.

again yeah yeah well they did you know but that's the thing is i did i she and i had like a four-hour conversation and and she went through different issues and encouraged me to sit down with bobby and i was like Let me think on this. And then I woke up and I was like, yeah, no, thank you. Well, what's at stake for y'all's own...

personal lives is very different too. That's what people don't really realize. It's not just the like, you have your opinion, I have mine. Like your life is affected by, you know, these, this legislation that. could you know yeah when it's like fundamentally about whether you or or any demographic should have fewer rights then you kind of there's absolutely

Where do you go from there? Is there anything? Can we try and say something on the pod that gets picked up by Fox News? Is there anything? Can we throw something? No, thank you. We want to diversify our listenership. crossfire i've been there before it's not yeah you're right actually let's keep our heads below the parapet

I have gotten death threats before. Have you? Well, see, and that's the thing is when Bobby, you know, was running for president and then endorsed Trump and I was still tied to Cheryl in ways. That was the other issue was this isn't my world. This is not my world. And if you're choosing to go into that world, that is your business. But I have to step outside because.

I didn't know, and I still don't know where this road is going, but it's not one that I'm interested in. Yeah, that's just not what your lane is. No. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Does anyone else have any friends they're not doing podcasts with? Well, I did want to mention to you guys that I'm out. Oh, no. Just kidding.

I also want to warn you guys, remember how I had a droopy eyelid? Yes, yeah. I was going to check. We wanted to check. I had my three-hour doctor appointment yesterday. Three hours? Why? Well, because it could be. very minor to a stroke to a tumor so I was I was kind of like oh boy come on man come on yeah and so um hey it's all right it's just the muscle but I do have to get eyelid surgery.

So this is going to be my first parlay into face work. Oh my God. You're getting a beauty surgery. Do you see this, this eye? You recover at a fancy Beverly Hills hotel. It's going to take me a couple of weeks to recover, but there are going to be before and after pictures. Will you please do a podcast in one eye? No, I'm going to do a plastic surgery podcast as like an expert. Does this mean you're going to be wearing an eye patch for a period of time?

God, they didn't say I had to, but I might just to make it dramatic. If you do do the eye patch and the mustache. Wait, what mustache? I don't have a mustache. When you do your mustache, stop. Sorry, girl. In solidarity, I'll wear an eye patch or I'll punch myself in the eye so I got a black eye on them. No, Mae. Yeah, do that, Mae. Yeah. Anyway, there's all my news. Let's hear yours. Wow. Look at you just hitting the old news circuit. Fox News and Facework. Classic TIG updates. Ugh.

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Your skin and hair will thank you. My news is I didn't sleep very well. That's not really fun news. But next week I'm going to... New York and I'm doing Drew Barrymore's show and Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, that's right. And I'm so excited. I've been trying to do Drew Barrymore's show forever. You guys both know her. I've never met her. I'm hoping that. You're going to be in love.

I am going to be in love. I know it. I'm going to be eye contact, holding hands. Please hold hands. Oh, my Lord. She would snuggle with you on the couch. Anything goes with Drew. I'm just so scared that I'm going to. be the one person who she's like six feet away from no no there's no world there's no motorboated drew when i did her show i have regrets fortune Marie, out here in the open, motorboating.

Oh my God. You say it like it was your choice and you just decided not to. I think Drew would have been totally fine with it. Yeah, I guess you're right. But do you guys have any... tips for for doing shows like that or kelly clarkson like or is there any outfit picked girl you know i do no i don't is it sleeveless come on

No, I've lost my definition on the old triceps. I would say that of all the people that you could be doing interviews with, these are two of the friendliest. There's truly nothing to be nervous about with either of them. Because they're both chatters and they're both very warm people. Yeah, like it'll be a legit conversation. Oh, yeah, for sure. And Kelly's just like...

I don't want to brag. I've done Kelly's show 10 times, the most of anyone on the Kelly Clarkson show. I've gotten a jacket. I've gotten a years of free Jenny's ice cream. Oh my Lord. A years free Jenny's ice cream. Yeah, when I did 10 episodes, they gave me a year of Jenny's, which I shared with my manager. Okay, that was my next question. Did you share? I share, girl.

So I'm going to be asking about that. I mean, should I pass on a message to either of them? To Kelly? Well, Kelly knows that I am obsessed with her voice. I have been talking about Kelly and her singing since Chelsea Lately days. Yeah. Yeah. She's incredible. You know, you do your pre-interview with the producer to...

go over what you're going to talk about. So for the Drew show, they were like, oh, we heard that you guys talk about Drew quite a bit on the pod. And I was like, yeah, I guess she does come up quite a bit. But they're like, what do you say about her? I was like... I don't know. What am I going to say? Fortune? I think we just have always commented on that. She's so fun and friendly and we like that. She doesn't have any personal space boundaries. Yeah.

I mean, we're projecting that she has no personal space. She does not. You can look at every interview and see that she does not. And be thankful. Yeah, but we celebrate this. That's what I'm looking for. Yeah. I mean, it's just really like prepare yourself.

I want that. I mean, I want to kiss all my friends anyway and spoon them. Well, because, you know, Ross Matthews is her co-host and he's amazing too. You'll love him. Okay, great. We should get him to ask a handsome pod question as well. Yes, we should. That's a good idea. But he's the nicest guy ever. She's lovely. Both shows will be like, oh, I can't believe this is already over. It'll go by quickly. Okay, great. Great.

And you'll want to keep in touch, but you just have to pull it together and move it along. I didn't tell, I don't want to bring up old wounds, but I did tell. Yeah. I did talk to Kelly about how I sang with Alanis. And Kelly was so jealous. And then Kelly recently also sang with Alanis. Oh, for God's sake. So she really one-upped me. Oh, God. Okay. Where does this leave me? Yeah. Tig, you're not even in this fight. Doesn't that seem like a lifetime ago? It was just last summer. Wait.

Was it? Oh my God, yeah. Not this summer. No, you're right. It was like a year ago summer. It was just two summers ago. It almost brought the whole podcast down. So should I, maybe I'll bring that up with Kelly. You could be, but like, I'm so glad you got a chance to sing with the lambs. I guess I'll think of my own anecdotes. Yeah, you've got some anecdotes.

I can't just go on and be like, I heard fortune got ice cream. I heard fortune said she got this in her goodie bag. What do I share with my manager? When do I get my money? You're the number one star in the world. That's right. Talk about that. Talk about being the number one IMDb star leader that Tig's currently tracking still. What do you mean currently? I've always tracked everyone's star meter on IMDb. Tig will just send text to her actor friends that says number of 780.

Down from last week, but there's always next week. Fortune bad news, you've gone down 100 points. No one's Googling you this week.

that's funny you'll come up with some fun stuff they like you know antidotes about your show and then or antidotes they uh with tony they always like like little other like celebrity antidotes Are we going to comment on that you're saying antidotes? Or should we let it slide? No, you should get me. I get you. What did I say? How do you say it for real? Anecdotes. Anecdotes. Anecdotes. Anecdotes. An anecdote is like a cure. You guys, I'm not just here to dish it. I can also take it.

I don't do any. I don't dish it and I don't take it. I feel like I mainly take it. I would love to be annihilated by both of you. Maybe we should do like one of those, like... When people roast each other. A roast paddle? A roast. We should just roast each other. Oh, my God. Oh, no. I don't like that. I don't like roast. I'm not really a roast person. Me neither. I can watch it and enjoy it.

but I don't want to be a part of it. Yeah. I can't even really watch it. Well, sometimes you'll see a clip online of someone who's just written such clever, great jokes. Well, I mean, The Roast... battles can change someone's trajectory. Our pal Nikki Glaser, who's so funny, she's about to host Saturday Night Live. Oh, she is? It may be this week. Oh, my God. Amazing. They announced it in October. Wow.

That in November, she's going to host SNL. Isn't that wild? That's awesome. It's really cool. Wait, fortunately. Oh, sorry. I was just going to say, I love that when we brought up roasting, we all went, no, I don't like roasting. I know this is why this podcast. works. We have certain things in common. That's a little mean for me. I don't know about that. No, thank you.

Fortune, did you end up going to Cheesecake Factory yesterday? I did. Good question. Good question. How was it? Tell us everything. It was amazing. I went to the Grove. I haven't been there in like two years. And it was, I think the last time I was there was for Taylor Swift's premiere of her film. Oh, yeah, yeah. Not this latest one. Tay-Tay. Tay-Tay, as we call her.

And it was fantastic. I went with Zach Noy Towers and Taylor Tomlinson. And I was going to pay because Zach's birthday is in two days. And he... Got up to use the bathroom and gave his card to the waiter. I love that. Trying to take, you know, for those that don't know Zach, he's very gay.

And it was just funny that he was... Gayer than you? Like way gayer than me. And it was just funny that he was taking care of his women. That's nice. Yeah, girl. Paying the bill. I love when a secret... a secret pain because i hate the awkwardness of dividing a bill and i hate this i hate the awkwardness of debating like no no i got this guy's uh i think going to the bathroom and just smoothly doing i like i do that sometimes i like it a lot it was very sweet he's a he um

Opens a lot for me and opens for Taylor quite a bit too. And he just was like, you guys have done so much for me and my career. And I just really appreciate both of you. And I wanted to treat you to some Cheesecake Factory. So it was very sweet of him. That's very nice. I know your story about when you. When you try to use a gift card. So I wonder if he secretly was using a gift card when he went to pay. Cheesecake factory points. I did get a piece of cheesecake to go because I ain't a fool.

Yeah, you got to. But I didn't know he was paying it. I didn't mean to be like... Oh, and now that you're paying, I would also like a piece of cheesecake to go. Did you make the classic joke of, had I known you were paying, I would have gotten a whole cheesecake. No, but I should have. However, listen, I... don't shy away from a deal.

I got to the Cheesecake Factory before them and they were like, if you sign up for the rewards program, you can get half off your cheesecake. So I was like, well, I'm sitting here. Why not sign up for a deal? Oh my God. So he only had to pay half. for the cheesecake okay you're welcome but now i'm probably gonna get five texts today from cheesecake factory yeah so you you joined the cheesecake factory frequent flyer program that's awesome

And it's like, you can get a free piece of cheesecake on your birthday. I'm like, yeah, I can girl. So yeah, I'm not above it. What kind of cheesecake do you go with the peanut butter? I'm always a peanut butter bitch. Yes. I am a peanut butter bitch. Do you like peanut butter in general? Like you go from the jar? I'm not an animal. I don't put my finger in the jar. I'm using a spoon, but I'm going from the jar. Yeah, I didn't say finger.

Well, I'm not an animal. I don't just lick straight from the peanut butter jar. I don't go fingering my peanut butter. Oh boy. Here we go. See, I like peanut butter on an apple, peanut butter on a banana. Love those. Those are my favorite snacks that I have near daily. You know what peanut butter I really love? What, dear? What's it called? Schneider's?

Oh, the peanut butter and jelly swirl? Schmuckers? No, hold on. Schmuckers? Hold on. Talk amongst yourselves. Nope, we want our Schneider info. Schneiders of Hanover? Snider? Is that it? Sniders of Hanover. Am I really going to have to go in my pantry and... find this out because now people it's pretty important that we get the right information about this peanut butter so you're googling schneider's peanut butter nothing's not schneider hold on god y'all

Sorry about you. Listeners will never be able to sleep if I don't get to the bottom of this. Y'all keep talking. No, we won't be talking. Let's just sit here silently. We'll be waiting. What if Fortune doesn't come back? What if that was Fortune's exit from the podcast forever? Oh my God. Or from, or if some, yeah. What? What were you going to say? Actually, I was going to say like, just.

perished and that was her last words were may marie and that was her last words it was like peanut butter bitch And she had to get on a little stepladder to reach her pantry. Aw, so cute. Not tall enough to get her peanut butter. I... Here comes the peanut butter bitch. Here comes the peanut butter bitch. I will never, ever see Fortune the same now that I know she's the peanut butter bitch. Y'all, if I'm fingering any peanut butter, it's this one. It is called Laura Shudders.

I've never heard of it. I have. But this is very anticlimactic, I'll be honest. It is? What were you expecting? Yes, peanut butter bitch. Oh, much better. I like the nutty one. Okay, of course you do. What I like about it, it's all natural. I'm not getting sponsored by them. I just am into it. It's all natural. What's in the ingredients? Oh, shit.

Well, that's how we find out if it's truly all natural. Uh-huh, it is. Peanuts contains 1% or less of salt. That's all it said. That's the ingredients. Peanuts and salt? I like a bit of sugar in my... So you're a Jiffy kind of kid. No, I draw the line at Jiffy, but... Or Jiff or whatever it's called. Yeah. What's it called again? I'm going to order some. Laura Shudders.

But do you have to stir it? Is it one of the ones? Yeah, you do. Ah, see, I'm out. Come on. May doesn't have that kind of time now that there's a number one star. The oil goes up to the top. You got to stir it. But it sloshes around. It gets on your hands. You know, another good one, again, not sponsored. This is peanut butter bitch corner. This is my peanut butter bitch corner. Almond butter at Trader Joe's.

Oh. I like almond butter. Do you have to stir that one? It's their own brand. You do have to stir that, too. I don't know what to tell you. May, hire an assistant that's willing to not stir. What do you want from me? All right, I will. Don't eat that. No, eat that. But the more natural stuff. Hey, peanut butter bitch. Peanut butter bitch. Calm down. You want me to finger my peanut butter? No, ma'am. No. Fortune Marie. No, put it down. I'm calling HR. I have never seen...

I've never seen fortune laugh this hard to talk about what we were talking about earlier. We just got an update. Fortune turned down a bit. commented fortune turn your volume that's straight from hr by the way yeah hr just reached out turn it down it's is it because of the yeah there's gonna be a lawsuit Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was fun. That was fun.

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I'm going to be another peanut butter bitch y'all for lunch. Okay, new merch. I'm about to be a peanut butter bitch for lunch, y'all. If we had shirts called peanut butter bitch. that would be so fun for people that had no idea what that shirt meant Peanut butter bitch, keep it handsome. This peanut butter bitch keeps it handsome. There you go. Oh my God.

Oh, how did we find joy there? But did we ever? Someone read this. I can't with my droopy eyes. I will. I'm thrilled and excited. But once I get my plastic surgery. I could be reading everything. Keep it a handle. How dare you. Hey, everybody. Keep it handsome. My eyes are so squinty. This is what I'm going to love after my plastic surgery. Look how squinty my eyes are always. So I'm not one to talk.

Maybe I shouldn't get surgery and I should just hold my eyes up like this. Or put toothpicks in. And then I wouldn't even have any recovery time. Yeah, do that. Tooth things. I still can't say it about her bitch. Fortune Marie! God, what's peanut butter bitch's, like, sidekick? Can I be, like, jam jerk or something? Yeah, jam jerk. What am I? Who am I? Toast.

No, I'm so excited to introduce our question asker today. Tig, this is too much. Go to YouTube and see what is happening here. Yeah, come on over to YouTube. Come on over. You've been handsome! Fortune Marie! I'm struggling. It's a medical condition. You look like when Martin Short plays a character who's had plastic surgery. I love Marty.

Oh, yeah. Marty, why haven't you asked us a question? Yeah, Marty. Marty, Marty. And maybe Meryl. Meryl and Marty. Meryl and Marty. Ask a duo question. That would be a big cut.

Okay, sorry, May. I apologize for Tig. Do I really? Okay, I'm not going to wait this out. Okay, this is happening, right? Okay. And now your eyes can't open. They just stay closed. I'm so excited about today's question asker. This is someone who I wanted to be when I was... a kid and a teen, uh, effortlessly cool. I'm going to say today's question asker is an actor, a writer, a musician who is Emmy nominated for his work on robot chicken. He's also starred in movies like clueless.

road trip and Garfield Breckenmeyer is asking today's question. Hey, handsome friends, it's Breckenmeyer with a question and an idea. Sorry, here's my question. When you go through a breakup, do you... delete all photos and texts of the person or do you hang on to them because they're your memories and even though they're tough you want to remember them at some point? Discuss.

I like this question. So do I. And you might remember I've talked about Brecken on the pod before because I went to the, God, this was a lifetime ago as well, the WGA. Oh, the strike picket lines. Yeah, I like the act out with your hand there, mate. That's jam, that's jam jerking action. Jam jerking and peanut butter fingering. Fortune, you need to take... Fortune, fortune, fortune. HR is shaking his head now. Jim, I'm Jim jerking him peanut butter finger in. Oh my God.

Have I been called into HR? I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I was talking about peanut butter. Thomas is writing you both up. No, I was talking about peanut butter. I wasn't talking about anything else. Go to YouTube. There was no, it was not just me talking about fingering. I was talking about peanut butter.

Mae, what were you saying? I was saying during the writer's strike, I was protesting and I saw Breck and Meyer and I was... is wrong with us today i don't know i think we're still in love with seeing each other yesterday in person in the same room and you sorry may sorry take so rude what i was protesting and I saw Breckenmire and I did like an Instagram story where I was like, I saw my childhood crush Breckenmire and it didn't occur to me that he would see that.

And then he DM'd me and was like, hey, saw you too. Should have said hi or something. I was like, oh my God. And Clueless, his character, Travis, is like the sweet stoner, long hair skateboarder guy. And I was like. That character was so sweet and pure and non-threatening and funny. And I was like, that's who I want to be that guy. And that's who you've grown up to be. A sweet stoner. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up, girl?

Wow, breakups. Breakups. Do we know anything about this? No. None of us have been broken up with or broken up with anyone. um i'm a keeper i'm i'm a i i keep i'm like a little magpie and i i keep everything i can't yeah i keep things even if it was a bad breakup it's i i keep like love letters or things that feel important i don't keep them out on display like framed for you know i'm putting them away in a box um

And then if I'm feeling real emo or if I'm moving house, I might like look through stuff. Moving house? Yeah, because, you know, when you're moving, you end up going through all your shit. And then I'm like, oh, there's this box of old memories. I've just never heard that saying, if you're moving house. Oh, maybe that's a British thing. If you're moving.

I'm moving house. What would you say? Yeah, that might be a British thing. It's like when Australians say, I'm going to hospital. What would you say? I would say, I'm going to the hospital. They just say I'm going to hospital. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. But it would probably be like this. I'm going, wait, hold on. Jennifer Lopez, razor blades. I'm going to the, I'm going hospital.

Thank you, peanut butter bitch. Thank you for that. I'm going to hospital. I think peanut butter bitch is going to stick. What were you saying, May? Oh, just that I keep stuff. I like to, you know, and I'm generally friends with most exes. And I'm like, that was, you know, a nice time. Yeah.

Yeah, not everyone, I guess. But I've never burned stuff. I mean, I've never been like, I want every trace of that person out of my life. You know what I mean? I might take down things that are immediately reminding me of the person. Yeah. I haven't even thought about that stuff, truth be told. You haven't thought about what? Like erasing photos or... Well, the thing with photos is annoying is your phone will randomly go, remember this?

and it's like three years ago and it's like the most painful memory or it's like yeah edited together a video with sad music of like you're thought about that phone but thank you seriously i that's not something i don't I don't really do that, like erase pictures and stuff. I mean, only if I look really bad in the picture or super chunky. Because, yeah, like you said, they're memories. I was...

At least in my last situation was together 10 years. So that's a lot of memories. Yeah. Situation. Yeah. And I'm not just over here going F all that. Yeah. You know, there was a lot of good times. So I'm happy to remember the good times. Yeah. What about you, Tig? Are you like a memory keeper? Yeah, I don't go through and throw things out. Yeah. You know, or I mean, same. I don't like put our old photo albums out on my coffee table. Things are on display now. Yeah. But it's like.

You know, that'd be a good way to send a message to Stephanie. Like you better raise your game. You start putting. Look how happy I was with her. Yeah. One of the things that I really appreciated about Stephanie was this woman that I was involved with kind of overlapping with Stephanie. She made an appearance on One Mississippi. And Stephanie actually suggested her for the role. That's fucking cool. And I was like, really? And it was kind of a romantic person on the show. And I said,

I was surprised. And Stephanie said, I just feel like she's the right person for the role. And she said, and if you had a connection with her previously, why? like that that's a real connection and it'll probably read on on camera and um and she she just feels like if if you had a connection Why not continue that connection in a different way? And I just, I really appreciated it. It's very cool.

have often been in love with people who are impossible to make jealous because it's such a cool quality if you're like well I saw him bumped into my ex the other day and they're like oh great how are they and you're like and yeah I don't get I don't get crazy about people's exes I'm just like okay Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stephanie's tight with, when I say tight, like she and an ex of mine really, really like each other.

And it brings me so much joy. Like our kids play together and we hang out and our families. And it's just so... And that was a tough one. That's my ex that like... I didn't know if we were going to come back from because it all kind of went down during when I was sick and my mother died. And it just got so complicated because we went through a breakup and then my.

health issues exploded in the news and stuff and it just wasn't a fun thing i think for yeah it just was a little tricky and in weird ways yeah but there is like i mean

There's kind of a, maybe it's more common in the queer community that people sort of stay friends, maybe because there's fewer of us. Like you stay, like I remember going out to a... party like a dance party or something with a bunch of friends and I was dating Parvati and Parvati came over and was meeting a bunch of my friends and then after like a couple of hours she was like have you slept with

all of these people and I was like I was like yeah I guess I have but like I guess I have but like oh my god that's not my situation but we've stayed really stayed really close yeah but i don't think that happens as much in like the straight dating world you know like yeah or i have a t-shirt from that from an ex-boyfriend that is so comfy and

And reassuring because I love that guy. So it's nice to, you know, I'll wear the t-shirt frequently. Why do you think it is that it's more prevalent in our community? I think it's like... the nature of like uh women do you think or i i think like well i think i think maybe with it happens with gay men too and non-binary people yeah i think just be like a non-traditional

Everything's already so non-traditional that it's like, why would we follow any other rules right now? Yeah. And also, I think community is important.

communities are pretty small like in in in different cities and in toronto especially it was like you know that l word thing of the the venn diagram or the the chart the chart the chart that like connects everyone who's like been involved with each other it's just a smaller group so if you start cutting off everybody who's like right dated your friend or anything then you end up

Yeah, you kind of have to. Yeah, we had a couple, not my exes, but at our wedding stuff. And I don't even think twice about it. Yeah. I didn't have like a ton of serious, serious relationships prior. Yeah. So it was there was nothing too heavy that I was coming from. Yeah. And some some I talked to and some we just have lost touch. But yeah, there are definitely exes of mine that I don't talk to as well.

Where it was just too heavy or weird. Or a couple that you're like, no thanks. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have a couple that I'm not... in contact with. Yeah. And it wasn't like a terribly fun departure. Yeah. But we're friendly and there's not anybody. I wouldn't love to hear was thriving in their life and happy. And like, there is not a single, nobody. There's no one. Even like going back to like.

Cheryl's not my ex or anything, but it's a breakup of sorts. It is. And, you know, I just there's there's no part of me that is excited by somebody. not being happy or struggling or anything like that. There's really not. And especially exes. Man, would I be thrilled to hear that.

anyone I was ever with was just happy, thriving, thriving, thriving. I'm the same. Life's too short. I don't wish anyone ill will, even if it... didn't work out with us or even if it ended not great i am very much like go live your best life be happy like if you weren't happy with me or we had whatever yeah you know we just couldn't get it together like i that doesn't mean you shouldn't have that happiness with somebody else even in this most recent situation i want her to have the

best everything yeah um and be genuinely happy and good yeah yeah yeah so yeah i don't look at i don't look at memories or pictures or experiences with any sort of taint on them from um like what like whatever i said taint no that's that's right you used it right no i know she did I'm just trying to make sure. Fortune Marie me. But I don't have this like stink on it now. Yeah. Yeah. Where I look back on any of it, like, ugh.

Yeah, I'm grateful for those memories and that there were so many happy times. And the growth that you get from all of these things that were... tremendous and terrible and yeah man it launches you to a new place we're all like well i mean like the retreat i just went to like by the end of it i just felt so clearly like we're all just like muddling through life and like everyone's doing the best they can everyone's doing their best you meet people you know where you're at and

sort of travel with them for a bit. And then if you grow together, you do. And if you don't, you don't. You can still have boundaries with people, I think. I mean, especially in these longer term relationships, I feel like I'm so different than I was 10 years ago. She's so different than we were 10 years ago. And sometimes you grow together. Sometimes you change. that's a part of the journey too. When I split with this one, oh, actually the same one that made an appearance on One Mississippi.

When we were like going our separate ways, it was there was a little, you know, not I mean, it was, of course, it was emotional. It was hard. But what I did to move on quickly was I grabbed this really unattractive picture that she jokingly sent me. While we were involved and I used it as my screensaver on everything. So every time. Oh, that's genius. I opened my computer, turned my phone on. I just saw her looking her.

absolute worst and i'd be like yeah i don't need that can i can i tell you a funny way i got let down easy um there was a this was many many years ago um and uh we never officially like we're dating we liked each other and yeah and it was kind of in the works to possibly date and She texted me like, can I make you dinner tomorrow night or whatever? I was like, oh, great. Maybe we're going to finally move into the dating phase. And she came over.

And informed me that she was in love with her roommate. Oh, my God. She was going to pursue that. So we wouldn't be able to pursue anything here more than friends. This is at the beginning of the dinner? This is at the beginning, yes. Oh, God. And I'm just like, oh, okay. Like, again, not that emotionally invested that is devastating.

But I did really like her and wanted to see if there was something there. And so I was bummed. But you're like, okay. And then, you know, we have this awkward conversation. And then she's like, well, I can go or I can't actually make you dinner. And I was like, you know, I wanted to be like, no. get out of here but i was like well what what did you bring and she was butter she was like shrimp tacos and i'm like ah i love shrimp tacos

Now we're talking. She went in and made dinner. And I had just gotten dumped. And I was just like, I'm going to eat these shrimp tacos. yeah i would do the same thing because those are the only tacos i'm eating tonight am i right hey girl marie Are you humming, Tig? Did you just start humming a little song to soothe yourself? I'm sorry. I had to. No, you didn't.

I'm obsessed with the response being to start humming a little song. It's like take just into dissociating. Because that was, those were the only tacos I was eating. Heard you the first time. That night. Maybe it was my delivery. Because those were the only tacos this lesbian was eaten. Peanut butter bitch. Cork it. But that's how much I love food. I'm just like, sure, you can dump me. And yes, I will eat those tacos. Yeah, totally. It's funny. Anywho, well.

My roommate was broken up with on the first day of a vacation, a romantic vacation together. No. And they had a still vacation? Why would you do that? Why do we go? That was his main... thing he was like okay but what the hell like yeah they'd saved up for this trip it's like just wait till the end but yeah not go yeah anyways shrimp tacos yeah because those are the only Tacos, you're eating that night. But, um, hold on, wait, hold on. The humming is so funny to me.

Wait, fortune what? Hold on. Hold on though. Because those are the only, hold on. Oh boy. Because those are the only tacos. I was eating that night. Oh, God. Oh, my God. You like that? Yeah, I like that a lot. Thank you. Should we hear... Oh, shit. Yeah, let's hear Brecken's answer. I forgot to answer my own question. So my answer is I would just not look at them until I'm okay looking at them.

But I want to keep the memories. I used to be the men in black guy who wishes everyone I was ever with was on a deserted island that would slowly sink into the sea. But now I'm mature and wear sweaters. Look at that. Mature and wearing sweaters. Throw on a sweater and just move on. That's right. He was wearing a fetching, similar to your cardigan there, Tig. I know. Look at that.

Old Cardi B, Cardi T over there. Do I strike you as a snuggly person? That's a great question. Thank you. I think that with your... immediate family probably and but i don't i mean definitely we know you don't love us a snuggle from a stranger i love i love snuggles

Oh, me too, man. Maybe. Not only am I a peanut butter bitch, I'm a snuggle bitch. You're a little snuggle worm. I'm a snuggle worm snuggle bitch. I love the cuddles. I love the touch. I love the... all that wait is this your dating yeah is this your online dating profile i love i love a butt i love a butt what grab and a snuggle and a cuddle rub how'd we get into butt grabs

I do like a butt grab. Does that count as snuggling? Not in my butt. Snuggle my butt. All right, let's wrap this up. You're on fire today, Fortune. There's like 10 new... 10 new catchphrases. I love when you did the drum roll or whatever it is before you did the joke. Yeah. Wait. Oh, boy.

Yeah. All right. Let's, let's wrap this up. Let's get out of this episode, please. I am going on tour at the end of February. Please get some tickets and come see me. I'm doing 35 cities and I'm. Really excited and nervous. And I'm going to write that show real soon. And it's going to be really fun to see everybody. And also check out Wayward on Netflix, please.

What are you guys up to? On November 22nd, I'm in San Jose, California. And the next night in Fresno, then Thanksgiving weekend, Charlotte, North Carolina. St. Petersburg, Florida, and Orlando, Florida in December. Norfolk, Virginia, December 27th. Salt Lake City, December 29th. Vancouver, the 30th. And then... New Year's Eve in Seattle, Washington, baby. Yeah. Oh, and I'm going to be at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles, November 19th, and Largo in Los Angeles, November 21st.

I think I'll be adding some Toronto club dates here or there. Check out tignotaro.com. Also, make sure to watch the Andrea Gibson documentary. Come see me in the good light on Apple TV. It's so beautiful. I produce that. And it's one of the things I'm most proud of. I'm absolutely most proud of in my career. As well as this podcast. Yeah, remember to subscribe to the pod, share it with your pals. Rate, review. Also subscribe to our YouTube channel. Share an episode with your friends.

Today would be a good one to watch on YouTube, I think. Why? Because of this? Yeah, because of that. Because of Thomas writing you up on a little post-it note. HR. Get our merch at handsomepod.com. And until next time, keep it handsome. Peanut butter bitch. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. And please follow us on social media at handsomepod.

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Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris and Hannah Simone and we host The Mess Around, a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on HeadGum. Now here's the thing, every single week we chat about an episode of New Girl.

And we really get into it. Like we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo. We're just two BFFs.

Having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel. Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr. And your dad. We talked to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.