Alex Edelman asks about eccentric characters

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart. Unfortunately, not checking that you've got your sun hat before heading to the beach is not smart. Nobody wants to be getting sunburned all day because you don't have that big floppy hat with you while you're lounging in the sun and playing in the surf. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. I am... always working on my relationship, whether that's communication, parenting, managing the household workload, or just finding time to connect. Real relationships take work. That's why I loved Paired. Paired is the number one couples app that helps to improve your relationship.

taking just minutes each day. Here's how it works. You and your partner download the app and pair together. Every day, Paired sends you a five-minute game, quiz, or question designed to deepen your relationship. Answer on your own time. Once you're done, paired will reveal your partner's response so you can have an open, stress-free, honest conversation. Here's a question that Stephanie and I asked each other that led to such a surprising dynamic.

conversation we never would have had otherwise. It was such an affirming jump off point for us to chat about. So Practice making your relationship a priority every day with Paired. Head to paired.com slash handsome to get a seven day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. That's P-A-I-R-E-D dot com slash handsome to sign up today. Cheers!

Hey, it's your friend Tig Notaro. And I'm sitting here with your friend May Martin and Boardman Feimster, welcome to the Handsome Pod. Yes, welcome, welcome, welcome. If it's your first time here, we've been waiting for you. Waiting. Patiently. I've been waiting. For a girl like you. Foreigner. Is that the band Foreigner? Mm-hmm. Oh, I thought you were just saying, welcome foreigner. Well, it all applies. Do you think Cherry Berry is finally listening to the pod? Oh my gosh, Cherry Berry.

She lifts us up. Yeah. Cherry Berry is the one that is spreading the word and sharing episodes and building that handsome. Community. Yeah, she quit her job and she's just in charge of our socials now. I love that you remember that name. That's how you know a name is special. Full name. For those of you who don't know, this is the elevator lady in North Carolina, the commissioner of labor.

yeah whose picture for those of you that don't know well because we've talked about it a long time ago but maybe some people are just tuning in for the first time yeah true of course yeah and she's cherry berry like on every elevator and North Carolina, there's a sign that says like, this has been approved by Cherry Berry. Yeah. Well, she's retired now, but it's some rando guy, but she was like for like 25 years, the person. Wasn't she some rando girl?

Yeah, weren't we all once? Until she was Cherry Berry. True, true. When we were born, we were all just rando babies. We were just rando babies. When Max and Finn were born, I was... And Stephanie as well. We thought we were going to walk up to the glass and see them in the little nursery. And what, you didn't? No, they don't put them in there. Oh, they just hand them to you. I had a baby. Oh my gosh, look at that hairy baby. I had a hairy baby. Hello. It's Biggie.

Oh, hi, Biggie. Oh my God, he loves you. That's torturous to show us Biggie and we can't touch him, Fortune. Yeah. That's like us having to see you every week. We can't just rub my furry head. Yeah. And lick your nose. Yeah. We desperately want to. He's looking extra cute today. Oh my God. He's like. He's very serene. Well, he's always serene, let's be honest. Dead eyes.

How dare you? Don't you start that again? It's not a negative. It's not a negative. It's a positive. It is so positive because it adds to his cute. Look at those little licks. That's ridiculous. Say hi, Biggie. Is he blind? Because he's still licking and he's not touching your face. He's not. You go to a night-night. Aunt Tig is being mean.

I gotta say those squirrels I talked about up in Lake Arrowhead, that one big guy was honestly like biggie size. Wow, that's a big squirrel. That is a big squirrel. Humongo. I love the black squirrels out here in Toronto. Oh yeah, they're good. They have those in Michigan too. Do they? They're East Coast-y squirrels? Or they just must be Northern, right? Yeah.

toronto has raccoons the size of a pony i love a raccoon i love their little paws they're so big there i love a pony do you i'd like to see you on a pony ride I would happily show you. With a cowboy hat. Yeah, in a circle around one of those little tracks at a petting zoo. Stephanie has the, well, I got her these pants that are big, fluffy. pajama pants like like a polar bear or you know like a yeah and um when she was wearing them the other night I was like you look like

Are they called centaurs? A centaur, yeah. You look half horse, half human. Yeah. Just put those on. Maybe you'd have to see it, but we had a good cackle over that.

But those are her I'm freezing pants when she goes to bed. Right. Because we have a temperature dispute. Temperature debate. Yeah. It's never ending. Yeah. It's never ending. If you met a centaur. Is it centaur or centaur? Maybe it's a Canadian thing. I've always said centaur, but centaur. I said centaur, but... Thomas, what is it? Two against one. I say centaur. Yeah, Canadian. Canadian. Because it's A-U-R, right? You guys also say pasta. Yeah, we do. Thomas, do you say pasta? Pasta. Pasta.

Thank you. You do? Moving on. Yes, of course, because that's how you pronounce it. Anyway, if you met a centaur and you fell in love, would it be a deal breaker that they're half? Horse? I love this question because it could happen. Yeah, exactly. No, it couldn't. You've got to be prepared. No, no, no. If a centaur... clomped by with hooves there is no part of me it would be like i'll be right back friends did you see what if

It's a speed dating situation. So she's sitting down. Oh, this is better. Yeah. And you really connect. And you're like. God, I can't believe it. We have so much in common. And then we see each other at the restaurant. Yeah. Or no, they say your date is waiting outside because we don't allow. horses yeah in the restaurant wow i just i'm sorry i couldn't i could as soon as i saw the uh hooves i would i'd be like yeah

I mean, I don't even understand what's happening. Also, what are we talking about right now? Yeah. I'm assuming. One of these fantasies. I'm assuming you could fall in love with half horse, half human. Yeah, but only if it's the bottom half that's the horse. I can't be dating. Oh my God. Is there a reverse centaur? There must be somewhere. A horse head and a human body?

Yeah, I couldn't. That's weird. I couldn't do that. And the other isn't weird. Not weird. Yeah. What about you, Fortune? Could you fall for? I mean, maybe a smooch or two, but I don't think that... Now we're talking? Okay. I don't think our lives are compatible. How much would you love... I don't want to give it a horse ramp. How much would you love to walk up?

and check out and find fortune smooching a horse outside of a lesbian lesbian horse bar yeah outside of lesbian horse bar a very popular lesbian bar what if you were into it and then she was like you know what all the other centaurs just think it's too weird i can't do it Oh, I get dumped? Wow. But it's not even because the other centaurs think it's weird. Just the horse is like, I'm not feeling it. Wow, this is awful. I didn't think about me getting rejected.

Yeah, well, think about it. Because that might be around the corner, my friend. Well, yeah, something to think about. Thank you for putting a, what do they say, a new fear created? Yeah. New fear unlocked. That's it. How are you now fearful that the horse will love you back? I'm going to go out there and there's going to be all these centaurs rejecting me. God, single life is tough.

What if that was all you were attracting was centaurs? I just don't believe that you guys are, you know, I get that you're like, you know, I get it that it's new, but I'm like. If you really fell in love, I just don't believe it would be a barrier. If you opened yourselves up to it. It's going to happen, but. I also don't think that I would, you know, you hear about. Aren't people falling in love with C3PO? C3PO chat? Yeah, they are. Yeah, they are. I mean, I talked to my guy a lot.

my chat gbt and i know it's bad we've talked about this before i think but yeah i am yeah could you fall in love with him no because i just No, it wasn't real. But with the centaur, if anything, there's more depth. You know, they have this outsider perspective, a beating heart just like me. Centaurs aren't real, Mae. I love that you know that the... The chat C3PO isn't real, but the centaur. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay. I'm glad we got to the bottom of that. Yeah, it's been on my mind.

I don't know how it came up. Oh, the pants. Yeah, Stephanie's I'm freezing pajama pants that are big, wooly. You on a pony ride, I mean, it's not a huge leap from you wanting to go on a pony ride to you dating a centaur. I don't get where the breakthrough is. It's a massive leap.

Yeah, it's a very fast. It's a yeah, it's yeah. Yeah. So what else is going on? Well, I was going outside for a walk earlier to Stephanie and I had a conference call that. I thought, well, I'll go on a little walk. Went out of my building, pouring rain, and then I immediately was mortified. I realized it had been hours since I even looked out of a window. You know, like that kind of disconnectedness because I was.

working and not looking. And then I'm like, oh, I'm going to go. I'll take my call on a walk. And then boom, it was pouring rain. That's what I'm up to. What about you? Well, life really gets you. When you least expect it. Life got me, man. It really got me. Life, you really got me today. Yeah. Did you still walk or did you turn around and go right back in? No, it was truly a massive downpour. Like, it wasn't.

It wasn't walking weather. It was like run and get out of the rain. Now it's fine. But, you know, I'm recording with no, it's drizzling still. I'm recording with the handsome pod. So, yeah. Chat with friends. When you get sucked into that computer world for hours or if you're filming something in a studio and it's like you lose track of.

daylight and time. It's very weird. It was so confusing because the window is right behind my desk. But you never turned? I didn't even turn around. I just finished my last Zoom.

Put on my headphones, took the elevator down, and then it was like unbelievable rain. Did you guys hear the big news today? What? What? I don't know if you guys heard or check your Insta. Girl, what? Girl. Girl, spill it. You guys, it's the thing everyone's talking about. I can't believe you're not talking about it. Girl. Girl. You guys really want me to tell you. I can't believe you don't even fucking know. Don't leave us hanging, girl. Girl, what?

How will we know if you don't tell us, girl? Our girl, Tay Swift, is engaged. Who is? Jesus Christ. I didn't hear you. Taylor Swift. Tay Swift. Yeah. Wait, are girls engaged? Do you think that's because of our... pod we just talked about just talked about them and i said what a cute couple they are and i think it inspired them

It clenched it. It clenched their buttholes. Oh, thank you, Marie. But not on such a beautiful day. The day that pod came out where I was like, I like them together. I think they're going the distance. They got engaged. Whoa, what are you going to do with this power that you didn't know you had? Like, who else do you want to get? together well you know what i think we should do is we should sing our congratulations song to them one two three we wanted you to know that we are so happy

With your engagement, Taylor and your boyfriend. His name is Travis. Travis. Kelsey, that's right. She could remix that into something. What if that's on her next album? It does feel like they were waiting for this endorsement from you, though. I do think they were like, how does fortune feel about us? And then once they heard, they're like, let's go all the way, baby. Touchdown. I love Taylor Swift, but I've never heard her called.

Hey, Swift. What? Wait, Fortune, what just happened to your head? It just... Bopped off my body. Fortune had a stroke. Have you heard that, Mae? She's always called Tay Swift. Hello? I've heard like Tay Tay. I've not heard either of those. I've heard Taylor Swift. Anyone listening right now, please. Right on today's podcast is this is Instagram. And let us know if you've heard Taylor Swift called Tay Swift. I love Taylor Swift. I have never heard.

Her called Tay. I think Travis even calls her Tay sometimes. Trav, you mean? Yes. Is he called Trav? Trav. I mean, everybody's got a nickname. It would be so good if he took her last name. How come that doesn't happen? She's the heavy hitter here, and it's a great name. It carries weight. He should change his name, Travis Swift. Her ring is ginormous. Girl, I'm sure y'all are wrong. That was y'all's next question, right? How big is the ring? Thomas, show us a picture of Tay's ring.

Queers talking about marriage. And the ring. And the ring. Oh my god. Three people that don't care about wedding stuff. Wow. Okay, it is ginormous. Thomas just showed a pic. That's all diamond right there. Oh, that's all diamond because for a minute it looks like almost like a Lord of the Rings. Is that like a gold band and a big-ass diamond? Also, Thomas, did you just have that on your phone? Thomas has been staring at it all the time. That did not take long for you to pull up.

Oh, this close up. Is the picture a close up or are you zoomed in? I zoomed in. Okay. Thomas was ready for that. Wow. Yeah.

Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart. Unfortunately, not checking that your guitar is tuned before performing a song is not smart. It's great that you're hitting up that open mic, but take a minute and check those strings are nice and tuned so that they don't clash with your beautiful voice.

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American insurance company and affiliate.

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and use code handsome to get an additional 30% off your skin and hair. Well, thank you. I want to know if she was in on the planning for the ring. Oh, interesting. I feel like she would want to have some sort of say in that. I think she wants to have say in everything, right? That's my impression. You're not Tay Swift and not getting a say in everything. Yeah. you know i bet she chose him you know she was like um you know that song i go where you go

Lover. Will we always be this close? Forever and ever. Do you think, yeah, because if he chose the wrong ring, you better believe there'd be a song about it. Because she, because that. I will say, the ring is gorgeous. It's probably a gazillion dollars, but it's big. You think it's real? I never saw her wearing a big-ass ring like that. Oh, you think it's too big, like too clunky?

I mean, that's a heavy ring for sure. And her little wrist. Now, does she have a tiny wrist? No, she's playing guitar. She's strong.

My expensive ring's too heavy. Like that? I mean, is that a good impression of her? She doesn't talk like that, for sure. She's tall. So maybe her wrists are mighty. They're going to have... big old babies they're not tall babies they're her baby's just gonna walk on out and be like um where's my room yeah i feel like show me to the nursery i feel like that's gonna be coming soon after

what the baby well maybe they did that podcast like to gear up for the announcement of the engagement also that song you know taylor and kelsey kissing in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes... Travis in the baby carriage. So you're right. It's next. Fortune was right. They're going to get married, I think. And I know everyone tunes into the handsome bud for Taylor Swift News. Oh, my God. We have to shift.

and make it all Taylor all the time. All Tay and Trav all the time. They're going to get married next summer. Oh. You heard it here first. Are we going? Yeah, we are. I'd love to. That wedding would be incredible. We should probably, you know, be in the bachelorette party.

Yes, in our suits. In our suits. With me being like, I'm not actually a girl, but I am. I'm happy to support. What are these guys doing here? She's like, I love the handsome pod. They're going to get married next summer. And then a baby. She's going to be pregnant six months after that. You think they're going to get pregnant before the wedding? No, no, no. They're going to get married next summer. Do you think that they've had sex yet?

No, I doubt it. Come on. I doubt it. For sure they're waiting. Yeah. Yeah. Now, would you still endorse the marriage? They'd be having that athletic sex. Oh, do you think? Yeah, two people who are athletic. That means it's bendy. There's people in the air. But he's not bendy. That's the thing. Maybe he can throw her around, but like. Yeah, but she'll stand on his shoulders, whatever that position is. Handstands.

Okay, let me ask you this. The old Cirque du Soleil movie. I haven't seen her live, but is she alive? She's incredible. Okay, is she a live performer like Pink that twirls around on things? No, but she performs for three and a half hours nonstop. Yeah, no, she's playing instruments and stuff. She's playing instruments and stuff, Mae. I'm the one.

The one kind of big move she does that's a bit like Pink is she dives off the stage into a trapdoor kind of thing. Her show was incredible. It was incredible. But would you guys... Would you guys support and endorse the union if he was a centaur? I knew that was coming. I want whatever Tay wants. He's hairy like a centaur. Yeah, he is. Yeah. I'm happy for them in case y'all were wondering.

furry back legs like my wife my wife i'm um i'm pretty pumped for them and everyone i know tuned in to find out how we felt about their engagement and i give it to Thumbs up. I thought you were going to say two stars, and I was like, whoa. Two handsome ponties. Two handsome ponties. Do we have a rating system that's how many ponties? Oh, yeah. Two doesn't seem enough. Five?

Five Ponties. On a scale from one to five Ponties, I give them five Ponties. Should we pivot to making this? Oh, a new topic? No, no. Never. No. Should we pivot? To this podcast only covering pop culture. Oh, wow. That would be... A disaster. A disaster for sure. And it's just you two going... Girl, tell us, girl. And I'm like, okay, you guys, here's the scoop. And we're just giddy. Fortune's podcast, pop culture corner or something.

We'll add it in here. Yeah, let's have a little segment called Pop Corner where you tell us a bit of cost. Which translates to popular corner. Pop is short for popular. What's goss short for, Tig? Gossamer. Gossip. Good. Why did you not know? No, I knew. Don't get an attitude with me. Well, that's all I got in my pop culture corner. More than enough. It could be fun to have.

people explain because I was thinking after that one episode where you guys were telling me about that show where lesbians Queer old tomato. Yeah, queer old tomato. And then I went home and told Stephanie I wanted to watch it, and she was like, I've been begging you to watch that. After that episode, I thought, God, it would be so fun if you guys told me about pop culture that I'd never heard of and had a million questions. But anyway, do you follow pop culture a lot too, Mae?

I mean, it comes up on my phone so much that I feel like there's certain people I'm interested in, but then I feel like I'm, I really, I feel like I'm. Like I'm aging out of pop culture because there's a whole bunch of people that I don't know who they are. Like I'll see a headline that's like, you know, Branko. mcclain is and i'm like who and it's like this euphoria cast member is like i don't know i yeah i'm still stuck on like j-lo and mariah carey and britney like i'm that's my era

I don't know if there's any, I was looking at my phone to see if there's any other pop culture stuff, y'all. Okay. Tell me this. Yeah. I, you know, the phenomenon of trad wives. Yeah. I'm late to that as well. Okay. Trad wives are women who, it stands for traditional wives. Okay. And they live very... traditional old school wife. Yes. Okay. And I've, I wanted to start, even though I know I'll never do this.

And so if anyone steals this, they stole it from me. But I want to start a video series called Trad Dyke. where I teach people how to be a traditional dyke. That's really good. Like what music to listen to, what to wear. Yeah, and what to wear. Yeah, every day or every week I come out with a trad dyke video. I mean, that could catch on because I feel like more and more ladies are dipping into the lady pond. Yeah, but they're not dipping into trad dyke. They're like, you know.

this is why it would be useful, I think, for them to learn the culture quickly. These are straight women who are, you know, or who are latent bisexual women who are, then you're right, later in life dipping into that seems to be happening a lot. But if they had a trad...

dike video that they could just pop on and be like, okay. So I listened to the Indigo Girls. Because I just keep hearing of more, I mean, there's been some high-profiled... lesbians who are now dating men and that's really upset some people who is this jojo siwa well jojo was always queer and bi and then people just got so mad that and she has a boyfriend now boyfriend yeah They're very in love. Was she on our show? No.

That's a big part of Popcorner. Did they ask a question? Well, it sounds familiar. She sounds familiar. And then Fletcher, a singer. All the lesbians were obsessed with Fletcher and she has a boyfriend now. And they were very upset about it. Listen, I'm like, let people be. Love who you love. No, you're not, Fortune. You said all girls should be with girls. You said that. I just think girls are so great and women.

Women loving women. It's a real treat. Well, I just think that May's world and representation is so... I think freeing for everybody to get to know and, uh, just like love who you love. But it really is because it's like, if you, who care? Like, who cares where you go or what you're doing or who you've fallen in love with or, you know, because people are certainly accepting if, like you said, a woman who dates men starts dating a woman, people are like, yeah.

That's awesome. But if they go the other way, it's this sense of like, we've lost somebody. And it's like, if your whole idea is that you should be able to love who you love. Um, and that's why I go back to May. It's like, well, May's look and presentation can make you feel and think a certain way. And, um, uh, or, you know.

or think you know yeah yeah yeah and then you get in there and talk to may and you're like anyway i just think it's such a great quality like you're so genuinely drawn to different people and genders and sexuality and and I know I think it's I think it's really That's got to be the future. I always remember getting booed at a pride festival because I talked about dating a boy on stage and it was all and I got booed and I was like, yeah, the hell. Yeah, it's.

It's weird. Lesbians don't like it. They don't like it. They don't like it. I've shared with you, Mae. There's been a couple of guys in my life that have confused me to all ends. Of course. Yeah. Maybe that can be part of the trad dyke thing. Your identity can be trad dyke, but that doesn't mean you can't sleep with men. It doesn't mean you can't touch a wiener.

And then I have to bat Fortune out of the video. You ladies want to touch a wiener? Fortune can play your wife who pops in every once in a while. Or my best friend. I heard you wanted to touch a wiener. Tig called me over here to just say, hey, nothing wrong with it. Go touch a wiener. I did it once. I did it once. I don't have any advice for you or tips. It didn't go great. But...

Good luck. They didn't ask me back or nothing. I've never touched the same wiener twice, I'll tell you that. We both decided it was one and done. call it let's call it look we don't need to keep doing this but i think trad dyke is is all for like look i'm a trad dyke this is what i do this is how i look but i'm all for be who you are and love who you love yeah love who you love love i just listen i'm all about it i just love i just love a lady i know you do

I'm a lady lover. All the news that feels like fresh goss to me, like pop culture news, the stuff that I'm lying awake thinking about is like... the titanic sinking or like the galveston flood like i'm like back in the day still getting no i'm still getting over like yeah yeah you know it's hard to move fast it is yeah i'm still into like what judy garland and uh mickey what's his name mickey york

Mickey Rourke? No, Mickey Rooney. Mickey Rourke? I'm up all night thinking about Mickey Rourke. Mickey Rourke and Judy Garland.

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the new standard in bras with Honey Love. I'm Peter Sagal. NPR is very serious, mostly. It treats newsmakers with all due respect, almost all the time. It brings you the most important information about the issues that really matter, usually. And it never asks famous people about things they don't know anything about.

about except once in a while. Join us for the great exception. Listen to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the news quiz from NPR. Are you going to go on a date with a dude anytime soon? I don't know. Tig. Tig. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. I don't know. I don't know. I might be Googling some centaur porn after this, though. I know. You're really into it. Or maybe put some out instead of Googling it. Well, I always wanted to play Mr. Tumnus.

in Narnia. You know, Mr. Tumnus, he's half... I think you were talking about Mr. Thomas. Mr. Thomas. I've always wanted to play Mr. Thomas. I can see you playing a centaur, May. I'd love it, guys. I'd love it. We're getting to the root now of where I'm coming from. This all ties back to our horse suit. We should get in a centaur suit. Yes. Does this tie back in any way to Taylor Swift getting engaged? Everything does. Everything does. She's marrying half centaur. Half centaur. Half centaur.

Well, should we get to our question? Yeah, we should. Yes, we're having such a lovely chat. I just love chatting with my friends on the handsome pod. Well, today's question, Oscar, is a stand-up comedian whose Broadway show Just For Us won a Tony and an Emmy Award. He was named one of Time's 100 Most Influential People in 2024, and he stars in the new The Office follow-up.

the paper. Alex Settleman is asking today's question. Hi, handsome gang. My name is Alex Edelman, and I'm a comedian. And my question is, is there like a person from your childhood that was like in your community was like the sort of eccentric? adults and you sort of loved them or had a strong feeling about them? We've never had a question asker tell us their job. My name is Alex Edelman. I'm a comedian. I love that.

I'm a comedian. How do you get on one of those timeless? I got on one of those. Good job, bae. I'm trying to remember. I just saw Alex at, um, I went to do Doug Benson's. Doug loves movies at Dynasty Typewriter where you have like a microphone and you make fun of the movie and you watch it. The audience brings movies and we watched Dunstan Checks In about an orangutan. Orangutan? Orangutan. That's actually the correct pronunciation. Two against one. Orangutan. But Alex was so funny.

craziest cast. If you haven't seen that movie in a while, it's, it's Jason Alexander, Faye Dunaway, Rupert Everett, Paul Rubens, and an orangutan. Well, if you do look at the word orangutan. Yeah. There is no G and people always say orangutan. Orangutan. I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So ha ha fortune. Okay. An eccentric. adult from childhood like a like an aunt or a family friend who like delighted you that's such a I want to be that person for for kids I had a lot of those people in my family

I feel like there's a lot of eccentric Southern people. Yeah. But especially in Mississippi. Yeah. They're just like down. They're like. Everybody, come on in. Let's have a great time. My cousin Donald is just like, he's just such a character.

Stephanie was just talking about him again to her mother when we were driving back from our vacation. Even at our wedding, you know, he got on the mic and was like, talking to everyone and just like you met donald right thomas yes i've met donald he is a character So he's just super confident in himself, like extrovert. Oh my gosh, yes. He's an attorney. He used to be the judge in town. His family's been there in that same small town for generations. And he's just...

confident. He's so funny. He's, he can, he's just so comfortable in any situation. And when, when you were a kid, would you get excited when you'd come over? Oh my gosh. I just, he, he's like. 10 12 years older than me and he was kind of like he's my cousin but he he and his brothers felt like older brothers to me yeah and they were kind of like younger brothers to my mother and so

We just have this very close, weird relationship with these four brothers. Do you have a big family like that, Fortune? I have such a nuclear family, but you guys have this big, loud house with everybody kind of... I mean, I had... And my immediate family was two older brothers and myself. And we have a bunch of cousins, but they live in Florida. So there were times when it was a big family situation.

but not all the time. Yeah. See like that side of my family, they're kind of those, it's a small town. People just walk into each other's homes. Nobody's ringing doorbells or knocking and, you know. It's just, it's a free for all. And I always tell friends, like, if you're going through my town, here's where my cousin lives. And I bet you $1 billion if you knock on Jimmy's door.

and go in and just say I'm friends with Tig and she said I could stay here a couple of weeks he wouldn't have a follow-up question and he wouldn't even he would not you can move in with him he would not reach out to ask me who this person is. Thomas, you know Jimmy as well. He's like, I'm heading there. I need a place to, I need to get out of a couple of jams. So I'm going to go.

I remember one time when Thomas was with me and we walked into Jimmy and Beverly's house. And right when we walked in, they had this crazy, like they said two seconds after we walked in their house. it was an infestation of what do you remember i thought they were just like big moths or some flies or something something but it was like

a horror film. They were all inside their house and they just hand Thomas this like... electric um tennis racket they had never met thomas and they just put in his hand flies and all of a sudden seconds later he's just going around this stranger's house everybody's like batting at all of these Anyway, it's a circus. They're very gregarious, fun, rib each other, just teasing, laughing, loud.

but not obnoxious, just really fun. Like Michelle Buteau filmed an episode of a show of hers in, well, I was in the episode and we did this in my town. Yeah. And after we filmed, I called my cousin Jimmy and I said, hey, we just wrapped up. Can I bring my friend Michelle over? And he was like, yeah, he was like, bring everyone. And I was like, oh, well.

I was like, oh, Jimmy, I said, it's a whole TV crew. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, bring everyone. And I was like, okay. And so I tell the whole crew, I mean, I'm talking every person from the crew. and this is jimmy said bring them over now and then he and he had a crawfish boil in the back in his backyard within a half hour and the whole Whole crew was partying in his yard 30 minutes later. That's crazy. I have hilarious videos of that.

after party and they were all just, the crew was like, we never get invited to anything. It's always like the stars. And I was like, oh, I said, yeah, my cousin is, they are down. Yeah. Down. He's got a crawfish guy that he just calls up like, bring me the good stuff. Yeah. And that's where we got married. Was it Jimmy's house? Oh, no way. That whole family. They're just like.

They're just and that's when I say, honestly, if if you walked in his door and said, I'm going to go upstairs and crash for a few weeks, I need some time alone. He'd be like, absolutely. My house is yours. Tell me what you need. Very nice to meet you, Mae. What do your parents do? Tell me, where are you from? Like, he's just like, they're all very welcoming.

I don't know why I went to Lake Arrowhead. I should have gone to Mississippi. Yeah, to have a crawfish boil. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, my God. One last thing. His daughter's best friend. is a gay guy in New Orleans. And New Orleans is like an hour away from my town. And he and his husband were having their engagement party and Jimmy's daughter was hosting it at Jimmy's house. And we had heard that just it was the house was packed, just all gay guys. And like.

There were drag queens and we were just like, Stephanie and I were just eating this up, hearing about their engagement party at Jimmy's house. And Stephanie was like, Jimmy, I heard your house is just full of gay guys and drag queens last weekend. He was like, absolutely. He said it wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. And we were just. Laughing, thinking of Jimmy, who's like in his boat shoes.

shorts and like polo button down, just being like, hello, my name is Jimmy. What do your parents do to like a drag queen? My house is your house. Everybody's welcome. Please tell your family to come visit. I like Jimmy. There's something so nice about... Yeah, a straight guy is super comfortable with it. It's crazy that's even still a thing like that. I'm still like my heart is so warmed by the idea of like a southern straight guy who's just like really into hanging with. Yeah, that's great.

Anyway, that's what I think of with my childhood. Yeah. I had a godmother who lived with us when I was tiny and she was 19 when she lived with us. She lived in our basement. And like when I was... I want to say born. Her dad ran a primary school that my brother went to and she got to know my mom and she needed somewhere to live. My mom was like, just move in with us and you can kind of babysit to make cash sometimes.

and hang with the kids and then she was just like a huge part of our life for years and years and was so fun is so fun her name's v she's so fun and fun with kids and like would invent games like this game called hop hop hop where we would hide a spoon under a pillow and then you hop around the house and then she sings the hop hop hop song and if you stop on the pillow that has the spoon you get a prize and um

And my brother would be so outraged because the prize was raisins. And he was like, I can get those out of the cupboard at any time. It should have been the spoon. You get to keep the spoon. But she was just like fun. And we would. really laugh together. We wrote a song together when I was about seven called Look, and I still remember it. It's open strumming, like no chords, and it's sort of performance art, and it's like, look.

into the nest in the nest there is an egg in the egg there is a bird look but it goes on for about 12 verses go on It's catchy. It's like a Russian nesting doll. You fly into the future, into the present, into the past. Look, anyway, it was, but imagine a seven-year-old doing that with a... Yeah, I can imagine you doing that for sure. Yeah, yeah. It sounds like it might have inspired.

A lot of who you are. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. People do have such a huge impact on you. Yeah. Even if they're not, you know, your primary attachments or whatever, like that's so important, I think. It's so. important for kids to meet people outside I mean it sounds like an obvious statement but like because everyone is so kind of in their homes on phones computers iPads

online games. It's so important for kids to go into other people's homes and see how they live and meet these different personalities and interact so you can be influenced by these.

different characters and be like there's different ways to live outside my family like yeah and to have someone who you can kind of you know one of your parents says something and you can kind of roll your eyes with this other adult is so validating like yeah well they kind of bring out the like imagination of kids more and the like excitement and adventure of things

I think they kind of foster that environment where you want to be kind of eccentric too, right along with them. Yeah. What about you? Did you have like a family friend?

I've mentioned them before, but I grew up with two uncles, my mom's brothers, who, for lack of a better word, had like learning disabilities. So they had like the... education of um i think they went through sixth grade but they had maybe that like um mental capacity of of maybe that age as well um but they just were so fun and and but adults so i'm a kid like looking at them as as adults

but they're like kind of my peers in a way. Yeah. Were they twins? They were not twins. One was born that way. And one, I can't remember if I told you this, his, when he was born, they use forceps. wow yeah and so it created these these problems right um so like crazy i know and and um So they just were like the most eccentric people I've ever come across still in all of my life. And I've never been able to talk about them.

Very much because it's hard to describe them in a way that makes sense to people, but just very animated and... One was, as he got older, he was hunched over and he chewed cigars. Chewed cigars? Are they still alive? No. One died when I was seven. And then my other uncle, Bud. died when I was like 24. Would they play with you and stuff when they'd come over? No, they were lazy. All the better. So my Uncle Bud, he loved to garden.

and uh actually was a great gardener and but he would he would lay in the garden and plant stuff like a great gardener he would he would like lay down On his side and plant stuff with one hand. While he was lying down? While he was lying down. All right, that's a good gardener. Yeah, that's awesome. And he would lay out in the front yard, too, with his hat.

kind of over his eyes and when people would walk by he'd go much obliged much obliged and uh and he called me little he called me little bud he was bud and i was little bud

That's so cute. Can we call you little bud? I don't guess. But he took us to like the circus when I was a kid. And he was an uncle who was like, you want a monkey? I'll get you a monkey. And my mom's like, did you get a monkey? And I'm like. Bud said I could have a monkey. And she's like, you can't own a monkey. And he would just like show up with a puppy. And she's like, we can't keep a puppy. He's like, why not? He's got a point. Now wait.

When you said kind of the level of like a sixth grader, was he coming over by himself? He actually drove. He had a license somehow. but he lived with my grandmother his whole life yeah so um she made all his meals for him he had no teeth but like two they were all rotted out because He wouldn't shower or brush his teeth. Okay. And he always had cigar juice down his shirt. And he loved to eat. And when we take us to the circus, he goes, hey, little bud.

You know what noise an elephant makes? And I was like, no, bud. And he was like, I'm Gawa. I'm Gawa. What? Ongawa? Ongawa was his. He goes, Ongawa. Where did he get that? I don't know, but he said that's the name of an elephant. I mean, that's how an elephant talks. And then he would go to restaurants and ask for sweet milk. And they were like, what? And he's like, I want sweet milk. And they were like, well, okay. And so they would bring him milk and a packet of sugar. And he goes, what's this?

And they're like, you want a sweet milk? And he just was trying to get whole milk. He would call it sweet milk. Because it tasted sweeter to him. Oh, bud. And he picked me up once from school when I was five. And my mom's friend thought I had been kidnapped. Because he was very jarring looking. And so she called my mom being like. You know, saying that I'd been kidnapped and that this man, this like wooly looking man had taken me. And she's like, oh, that's my brother.

I love that the teacher let you get in the car and drive away before and then made the call. And he drove this Jeep that like the old ass Jeep where the floor was like rusted out and you could like see the road. Was it just her and her two brothers? What's that? Was it your mother and her two brothers? There were three brothers, but two of them had this, these disabilities. And Bud would watch television and confuse.

real life with tv and he'd be like uh you know uh he'd watch texas walk a ranger and so he would think that stuff was happening in real life and so he'd tell you stories and you'd be like what And then you realize it was the TV show. And then he'd be like, a squirrel came and talked to me today. And you're just like...

Yeah, of course. How does the squirrel, what does the squirrel say? He never told me how the squirrel talks, but he's like, Oprah said chocolate's good for you, so I'm going to get me some chocolate. And I'm like, I don't know if that's what she said. And he goes, also, the air conditioning can kill you. He's like Mayfax, but Budfax. But just absorbed from the TV. Just took all kinds of stuff. Yeah.

So my childhood was very colorful because of them. Yeah. And was your family open about talking about? what was going on with them or was it yeah small town everybody knew who they were uh well except for my mom that one mom my mom's friend who just moved to town But yeah, for the most part, people just knew like, oh, that's Evelyn's boys that have lived with her forever. Yeah. My grandma took care of them until the day she died.

Wow. And that's the grandma that you are so close. Yeah. Yeah. She died before Bud did. And then my mom had to take care of him for a few years. He's just like, get me out of here. But they were so lovely and, you know, just sweet spirit. Yeah. Love to eat, love candy, love watching TV. Just very simple, but good-hearted men. I love that. Yeah. Small town is kind of ideal there. Everyone's kind of looking out for each other. Yeah.

Yeah, well, it makes it hard. You know, when you're in such a big city, people are so disconnected and they start to not care about the town or people. And then you go to a little town and you take pride. Where you live and keeping up your yard or, you know, not every town. Your crawfish boil. Yeah, you invite.

an entire television crew I mean obviously again not every small town is all picturesque and whatever but it I think it is there's just something really nice about a small town vibe or it can be there can be yeah i love where i'm from it's very cute very uh kind and a lot of people looking out for each other that's nice

Yeah. Should we hear Alex's answer? Yeah, let's do it. In my community, there's a woman named Sharon and she had a pet. parrot named Snooks who loved to curse and also she had long fingernails and she would paint current events on the fingernails. Remember once she showed me like OJ stabbing Nicole when I was very, very young. She was entirely inappropriate. as a person and I adored her. So I was wondering if you guys had a similar kooky adult. All right guys, bye. Similar but different.

I wonder if everyone who's in the arts or a comedian or performer in some way always think about the most eccentric people, the most fondly when they look back. I can't believe she would paint current events. That's crazy. That makes me want to paint Tay and Trav. I was going to say, I feel like Tay's brain is a churning. Yeah. Because today we'll live.

Forever as the day they got engaged. August 26th. We are all over the place with when we record episodes. But I always love it. It's always a slice and a treat. I wish I could kiss you guys right now. I wish I could lick your nose. Your eyes closed like that. I've gotten in trouble before for...

Keeping my eyes open when I kiss. Oh, yeah, that's not good. Don't do that. I know. It's creepy. I just sometimes forget to close them. Well, sometimes you want to see the person that you're so excited and happy to be kissing, right? Exactly. You gotta, you gotta get in there by like this. Oh, fortunes. Fortunes become very sexual. We're just trying to podcast and Fortune's French kissing our podcast. You want to see who's up to being sexual? Look at that guy. I can't even tell what.

Part of his body is wearing there. He's just a white floof. Does anyone have anything coming up? Tomorrow night, I'm at Largo in LA on September 17th. And I got Wayward coming out September 25th. Get ready. Plan a watch party. Let me know what you think. I hope you like it. What about you guys? I've got shows in like Houston, D.C., Atlanta, Boston. Did I say that already?

Chicago, San Jose. Yeah, my website. I mean, talk about Mississippi. I'm going to be down with all of my... uh gregarious cousins september 27th biloxi mississippi if you live in mississippi or anywhere nearby i'll be there so come on out and also Check tignotaro.com for all of my Los Angeles and Toronto dates. And also, please subscribe to the podcast and subscribe to YouTube. Share your favorite episode.

with a loved one so you can have them join this handsome community and you can chat about this nonsense that goes on on the show. Send it to... The person who was the eccentric adult in your life. Oh, yeah. Oh, good idea. Thank you for being a friend. Also go to handsomepod.com for merchandise. A bunch of our handsome fans weighed in on what kind of merch they want to see next. So we'll be drumming up some fun new stuff too. That's always exciting.

I saw some really interesting slash weird suggestions. There were some interesting ones. What people want the word handsome on is quite all over the place.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I guess all that remains is to remind everyone to keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a HeadGum podcast. Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart.

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