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Hey, handsome. We've got some exciting news. Handsome is now a part of the head gum podcast network. Head gum is an amazing network here in Los Angeles with a ton of fun podcasts, including now handsome. Now as far as your handsome experience, nothing is changing. You can still listen to and watch your weekly episodes, plus our pretty little episodes for free wherever you get your podcasts. And stay tuned to our next episode.
YouTube channel because we're planning on popping into head gum studios and doing some in-person recordings very soon. So keep it handsome and keep it head gum. Cheers. Cheers. This is a head gum podcast. Cheers. Welcome to the handsome pod. I'm one of your three handsome hosts, May Martin joined as always by fortunefeature and TIG no taro. TIG no taro. TIG no taro. More like yes taro.
I have. Yeah. But I still think it's very clever. Very clever. Pretty much anything you can think of has been thought of. Do you think that's true? I sometimes try to think of a sentence that's never been said or thought like a combination of words that just has never been. I can't think of one right now, but you know, like well, give it a whirl. All right. Okay. Here we go. 12 minuscule. Lumps of peanut, peanut brittle. Yes.
Miraculously merged. Wow. Wow. Do you think that's happened though about the minuscule lumps to form peanut brittle? They're smaller lumps and then they all merged together to form one. But maybe there's someone in a confectioner who said that. I don't know. Yeah. But maybe it's an electric start for me. Maybe it's totally new. I can't say I've ever heard that sentence. And I haven't ever thought that thought. But I also haven't heard a lot of things or thought a lot of things.
Right. So I am the wrong one to ask. Did you guys know that Halloween is upon us? I did. No. How are you feeling about it? I don't know what it is. But it is upon us. Do you have something for Becky picked out? He does have holiday outfits. And we will probably be breaking one of those out for a cute picture. He doesn't really care what he's in. Do you think he likes being in it? I think he's indifferent. I think he does whatever we do. He has that stare. He's got that very indifference.
He has that stare. Yeah. He does. He's got a biggy stare. Yeah. We get candy for the trigger treaters and we do hold him in our arms while the kids come and get candy. You're holding him no matter what. That's true. Do you wear my shoes? I'm the girl. Do you do group like a group costume? I have done it before. I think I was a California raisin once. And all three of you were? I think there were many of us. I think it was a large group.
There's a whole bunch of raccoons. How are you feeling about Halloween in general, Ty? Well, we found out recently when I got together with Stephanie, I learned that she is Christmas obsessed. That doesn't match with her personality to me. I'd be shocked by that. I was a little surprised and full-blown Christmas. She goes real hard on Christmas and goes real hard on it with Max and Finn. We found out this year that they're about Christmas. Oh no! They're just like, it's fine.
That would bump me out if I was really into it. I think I've gone to so much trouble. But here's the thing. Here's the little twist in the story. A couple of years ago, Stephanie started to feel like, I'm a little about Christmas. Oh! Yeah. Well, they can't believe it. She can't believe that she's like, yeah, it's fine. So are you moving on to Halloween to make it the new big thing? Well, we found out this year, Max and Finn. That's their number one favorite. Wow! Holiday of the time.
And I think that I've shared on this podcast that Finn wears Halloween socks year-round. Yes. I don't know if I shared that or if you remember that. Year-round does not matter what outfit he's in. If he wears a little suit to something, if he's playing soccer, whatever it is, he's got little pumpkins on his socks. It's a big time for the Yes Taros House. Yeah, for the Yes Taros. Yeah. And second in line is Easter for them. And they're birthday. Really?
I feel like you should have little surveys for them that they fill out every year just to check up on the order. I have surveys for everything around the house. I like Easter because I, who doesn't love a basket of treats? But Easter for me was synonymous with having to put on a dress. Yeah. A very frilly dress and go to church. Yeah. That wasn't your style, was it? No, I would get in fights with my mom every Sunday like, I don't want to wear a dress.
I didn't, I could go to church, but I wanted to wear jeans. And that was a big no-no. I think that church would probably got a lot more followers if they were just like, where are jeans? Well, now it's more casual. I went home last Christmas and I noticed jeans. And I was like, now we're talking. Now we're talking. There weren't jeans. Jeans have thought of that for church. Do you enjoy church? No, but you know me. I love a hymn. I love a hymn. I love a hymn. I love a hymn. I love a hymn.
I love a rich. I like any kind of ritual. I like people coming together and singing. I haven't found a church I love. I'll say that one. Yeah, I know crazy about it. I like my hometown one just because they're pretty chill, you know. We were Methodists and Methodists are chill. But if it were like one of those hardcore churches, that would be hard for me. Yeah. Instead I get to go sing, you know, hold my God. It's funny. They were talking about some God he reigns.
I get sent a lot of memes and stuff about quantum physics and like the power of intention and our thoughts, shaping reality and stuff. So in a way, like if you're taking the time to pray at all or like light a candle, like you're focusing your intention and your wants, maybe there's a quantum kind of explanation or value to like thinking about what you want. I agree, man. Anyway, guys, tonight I have a show at 11 p.m. tonight. Can you believe and also fortune? What's going on with that hat?
Go to YouTube right this second. Right go to YouTube right now. What you're doing. Go to YouTube. It's worth it. And to get while people are on YouTube, they might want to see one part of my Halloween costume. Are you being a leprechaun this year? Oh, this week's the same level of record. It's not not a leprechaun. I thought this was L. Oh, I have to get an out of mask. You're good point. I imagine it'll be multiple Halloween parties this weekend. So an out mask would be good.
Yes. I just figured I bought when I went to you guys remember how I went to October Fest. While I was in Munich, I bought two leader hosens. I don't need two leader hosens, but I bought two. Rosie, I love to shop. Because one was a bit sillier than the other one. And then I realized I don't want to go silly. I want to look legit. You want to look serious in your leader hosens? I do want to look serious in my leader hosens. So for Halloween, I'm going to wear the silly leader hosens.
And this will be part of that costume. I thought it was leprechaun for sure. Oh boy. I think I'm too big to pass for a leprechaun. I disagree. You're an adult leprechaun. So what? So what? What is my hat? Yeah, I love it. It really suits you. Honestly, I don't like it. If I'm totally honest with you, I don't like it. I can see the green compliments the blonde. It's like almost a Peter Penn style. And I like it. Or it could be a fedora. You just look like a lesbian. That's it.
That's what I go as every Halloween. Whenever people are like, what are you? I say, I'm an aging lesbian. Oh my god. Do you think there are a lot of lesbian still rocking fedores? Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Right in. Right in, if you're still rocking fedores. Yeah. Here's what I want to suggest. I would like to put it out there. And I would like to see some photos too. A view and your two friends, whoever you are and your two friends are going as handsome. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yes. We need... It's going to occur to me. Yeah. The good neither. Until I saw you in this clown suit. How dare you. How dare you? I have to look at you. How dare you? I feel like this feels manipulative. But I do want to offer like a prize to the best handsome costume. Because I really want people to do it. So we should think of a prize like a... Probably something in our merch. How about that hat? They can win fortunes later, Hozen.
Do we send them like a pair of pineapple apart socks or something? I was thinking bigger. I was like, I'll fly to their house. The first cock. The... Wait, that's... Alright, that's a generic costume. Give me your address. Give me your address. I'm coming over. That's the first time I've ever done that. And then I was like, oh, we did think you were really going to come. They're like, turn off the lights. Pretend you're not home. I love that I started with our handsome socks.
And you went to... I will fly to your house and hang out. All of the classic May. Classic May. Classic May. You're willing to throw some dirty socks away. I'm assuming they're disgusting used, right? You win. Sure. Oh, you know what? New socks. No, here, I've got it. I will send Finn's pumpkin socks to you. What? Finn's looking like that. Yeah, he's got endless amounts of pumpkin. Yeah. Halloween socks come out of every drawer. I was going to send new handsome pineapple apart socks.
But if you win, you won't be able to get rid of me. You're going to be... Because I will join your family. I just want to give love and be loved. Wow. Now we are very excited to see these handsome costumes. There's a lot of steak. There's a lot of steak. I can end up relocating the eyeware or something. You sure could. As long as you can still do the handsome podcast, it doesn't matter to us. Oh, my God. Please move to Iowa.
If you move to Iowa, I think you're going to want to continue this podcast, because you're going to get bored of a bright spot on my calendar. Iowa is a beautiful city, a town, a country. It's a state. I got iced in the morning. Ice? You don't know what ice is? Isn't that like a socks fun? Do you think I got a sass in it? Wait, fortune, were you assassinating? Wait, you were a sass in it. How is this just now coming up? Ice. Do you guys ever hear of smear-knife ice? Like somebody ignores you?
No. You get ice. You get ice. The malt beverage smear-knife ice. Yeah. Okay. So in the Midwest, it was very popular to ice somebody. So what that means is that if someone comes up to you and hands you a smear-knife ice, you had to get on your knees and then chug this entire smear-knife ice in one gulp. Then you iced yourself. You have the choice to do it or not.
Well, I do a whole story about it in my special good fortune where I talk about that I got iced to add a show of mine many, many years ago in Des Moines by a lesbian named Linda. Linda. One of my own turned against me. And did you know, so you knew about this tradition or did she say like, hey, you got to get on your knees. She said, she handed me this. You've been iced. And the whole crowd went nuts. And I was like, we crowd, where were you? I was on stage. My show, a show of mine.
And you were on stage when I was on stage. Oh my lord. And I was kind of tipsy. This is the only reason I think I agreed to it. I was tipsy. This was a wild show. It was not at a club. It was at this independent show I was doing at a bar that turned this room into like a stage. There was like 400 people there. It was my Chelsea lately days. So the crowd that knew me at that time like to drink a party because it's Chelsea like to drink a party.
And so they kept sending me the whole show drink after drink and shot at my whole bar stool. The whole bar stool was full of alcoholic beverages. I couldn't keep up with all the drinks that were being sent to me. So I started to drink some of them and I was starting to get tipsy. And then the nail in the coffin was when we were assassinated. Handed me a smear and a fight. And the whole crowd goes nuts and she goes, you've been iced. And they said, what does that mean?
And they said, you have to get on your knees and drink this. I'm like, I'm not getting on my knees and she was like, this is during your show. Yes. This whole bit. This whole bit. Some of my last special enough, Felix. I don't want to give it away. But why did you agree to it? Because why didn't you just say step back, Linda? Because you try saying no to Linda Des Moines. Handsome homeowners. We want to help you save on your home insurance. That's why we're proud to be sponsored by all state.
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Check out how I built this sponsored by Clavio, wherever you get your podcasts and make every moment count with Clavio. Learn more at klavio.com slash bfcm. How do you know her name was Linda just because she was gay? Hey, my name's Linda and you've been asked to be nice. Oh my god. What is she? What has been actually? Like spiky hair, spiky gray hair, older. Yeah. The Santa. A leather vest. I said it a little like she might have had a dream catcher in her car. Wow, Linda. Oh my god.
It's a were you wasted after you have to continue the show? Oh, yeah, I like I woke up. I passed out. Oh my god. I passed out. Who started this? Linda probably saying it's a thing people do. I didn't make it up. No, I understand, but I'm saying who made it up? Linda. Probably Linda. And also like why do you have to get on your knees? It's part of getting eyes to you. I don't know what to tell you. I didn't make it up. I don't want to fight with you. I'm just saying this is so dumb and weird.
It's a thing. I'm not googling getting eyes. So anyway, my point was that happened in Iowa. So be careful, mate. Be careful, mate. Okay, if Linda's around, yeah. Yeah, I'm running. What if Linda submits a photo and wins the competition and I got to go live with it? Linda, mate. Who do you think Linda would play of the three of us? Me. I think. Yeah. The way you said that, mate. Fine, I'm Linda. Oh, me. Yeah, wait to see. Yeah, wait to see people's curly-haired wigs.
What are they going to have for me? They're like spray paint. They're a lot of yellow. Beaver hair. And like little round head. You know what they could do? They could just tape a Q-tip onto the other two people and be like, there's me. Why a Q-tip? I think I look like a Q-tip and I have that vibe. I don't know if anyone wants to go. I can't see the Q-tip vibe, but. Okay, thanks. No, I see like a beaver haircut with the like hair flip. But if we do see Q-tips out this, how spooky Q-tips.
Spooky. Yeah. This one, Halloween actually, Thomas was with us. We were visiting Stephanie's mother when she lived in Rhineback, New York. And it was, oh my gosh, it was so funny. First of all, Thomas was very much like only allowing one candy or whatever per person. He was very, you know. And really disciplined about Duclar. And also, Stephanie's mother made us all, I don't know if you remember this, Thomas, make these little ghost covers for those dumb dumb lollipops.
Yeah. And it was just a white little sheet with two dots and like a rubber band around it. We were like, why are we doing this? It was like, it's fun. Yeah, because it's fun. And so we're like doing this, these putting these little ghost costumes on dumb dumb lollipops. And this kid came to the door and was like, what's this? Totally ruined the vibe. But it was also really funny because I think Max and Finn, they were maybe two and a half or something. And Finn just yelled, Halloween!
And ran out of the door and down the street and we had to go retrieve him. That's just really good. Yeah. That's really good. Are you going to go trick or treating this year? I don't know because of my schedule. I'll be in Toronto. Oh yeah, you're going to miss this. Go trick or treating by yourself, please. Oh my God. Halloween is not my thing. And I'm also not like a, like you were saying you were in a group costume. I'm not a group costume person. Yeah, I couldn't see you doing that.
Yeah, I mean, I barely am able to get into a costume beyond an aging lesbian. But I don't like the, we're a thing together, you know. This is really throwing a spanner in our horse costume idea. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. But that's our applause. I'll take control of it so you won't have to do anything to accept getting it. Step it to me. I am more than happy to do that because it's not Halloween. Oh yeah, you can't do it on Halloween.
No, it just for like day to day life clomping around, I'm happy to be a third in that, yeah, in that horse suit. You're going to give out candy for too? I'm going to give out candy. I usually go to Tom Papa's house. He always has a big Halloween thing. But my dream and I talked about this last Halloween. You know, I told you guys how when I was a kid, I would go to church. They had like a, they called it a bizarre. Yes. I went to a church bizarre on Halloween.
And they would have the thing where you walk in the circle. And if you won, you got a whole cake. I don't remember you talking about this, but yeah. I'm pretty sure I did. And because that's where I went dressed as Alph. Oh my god, yes. Oh my god. Of course. And when you won, because it's basically musical chairs, but without the chairs, you're on a number. And if it stops on your number, you get to pick out a cake. An entire cake that's some wonderful old lady maid.
And I've not experienced that since I was a kid, a kid. And I really want to be a part of a situation where everyone makes an entire cake. And I get to pick out one if I win. And what if you don't win? Would you be crushed? Yes. That's your only ex. Yes. Yeah. Maybe we rig it. We rig it. So you can win. Because I'd be too sad. If I'm in this situation and I don't want to cake, my dreams will have been shattered. Okay, we can't let that happen. No. Thank you.
We would never let your dreams be shattered, fortunately. I really love cake. What's your favorite kind of cake? Yeah. Probably red velvet. Mmm, that's good. I love red velvet. I like cheap white birthday cake. Like that, like just where the flavor is basically just white. Yeah. It's not even vanilla. I like just, yeah. I love king cake from Monty Girl. Oh, yeah. It's almost like a Danish though, right? It's like a cinnamon roll type. Okay. But it is. But then there's stuff in it, right?
You might swallow like a mannequin. A baby. A mannequin. I was just going to say we should have full grown mannequin in a king cake. I don't know. I still do not want to swallow a mannequin. The cake is in the shape of a man. If you swallowed a mannequin, that would be your choice. You decided to swallow it because you would have so many chances to not swallow a mannequin. In my defense, you said a baby. There's a baby in there. So a mannequin, a baby, I don't know.
Well, it's a little plastic baby or a penny. Sometimes they'll put a penny in there. Worse. Worse. A rather small mannequin. A mannequin. Yeah. How are you going to put a penny in there? It's easily swallable. I don't know. That's part of the jeopardy. I want to bring that back though. Hiding stuff in cakes. There was one called the frozen charlotte that we're apparently in. You'd put like a frozen porcelain doll in it. That's not a far off from a mannequin. It is weird.
Why are you hiding things? Yeah. You just don't put anything in cakes. When people talk about proposing and they put the ring in the cake, I think that's terrible. Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. What is it? Chomp down on a ring. Come on. What are we doing here? So if you're in jail, you don't want me to smuggle you a little saw in in the cake. I do want cake. But you don't care when I'm probably. I want you to smuggle it. I'd like for you to smuggle a mannequin in my cake.
And then I'll have just buddy. Yeah. Have a buddy in my jail cell. Sounds like this is going to be a pretty fun Halloween for me. The only thing I don't want this Halloween, I don't want to see a ghost. Yeah, ghost. I don't want it. I don't want it. I've heard you, the people that see ghosts are the ones who are susceptible to it. So they have invited these ghosts into their life, into their, and I don't want it. I'm not, I don't want any part of it.
The only ghost I want to see are the yeah ghost. I only want to see the yeah ghost see that aren't in the book. Are you susceptible? No, I've never seen a ghost. Well, it sounds like you're, you are susceptible because you have this fear. Like you have what if like your fear actually magnetizes them? You guys do not invite ghosts into my house. I do not. My house probably is a non ghost house. I think we've talked about this, but I also am like, what is the prop, who cares about ghosts?
Like what is the worst thing? A ghost that you can run your hand through them. Like you don't even knock in any. Yeah. What you're saying about this, they rattle at a whole week. Ooh, they rattle a chain. It's like okay, please. What about a poltergeist is not horrible. Oh, or a stalk, yeah, you don't want that. You don't want that. You can explode your TV or something. And you don't want, what if a ghost shows up and starts showing you your Christmas past in future?
And you're like, I didn't believe that. I want to go back in time. Okay. But you're naming some annoying things. Like they blow your TV up. They rattle chains. They, you know, I'll tell you the most fucked up thing they can do is get in your head and kind of start making you go crazy. Like they're going, like you're going, that little girl goes, I was playing with a woman in my room. And she said to go to the pond at night and the parents are like, what woman in your room? Is this Elmo? Sweetie?
She's like, the woman. She comes every night. She tells me to go swimming in the dark. And the parents are like, you're, you're having an imaginary friend. I'm real big. And then the next thing, you know, your kids waiting into the pond that night, going, the woman told me, where did this happen? I made it up, but it's the kind of thing that could happen. And also you're in a shower and a steamy and all of a sudden they're running in your mirror. Yeah, go ahead.
And that happened to either of you or anyone you know, no, but it could. There are more things in heaven and earth. You know what could happen that is real? We could get our question from our questioner today. That is, that's real. Yes, we could. Yeah, let's do it. Who do we have? Everyone watches women's sports. I wore the shirt before, but I won't, I wore it again in honor of today's questioner.
Today's questioner is a gold medal winning athlete, a best-selling author and podcast host who was named US soccer athlete of the year six times, not five. Six times. She is the highest all-time goal scorer for the US national team. Abby Womback is asking today's question. I have to say really quick, I'm very excited about Abby being on our podcast who I think is our first athlete. Is that true? Yeah, that's true. Is that true? Well, Stephanie was on. Well, that's true.
Stephanie played on the pistol shrimps. She sure did. But this is our first professional athlete. No Abby now, which is very exciting, but I was a huge Abby fan for all of her run on the US national team. I mean, one of the greatest soccer players of all time, men or women, watching her play was like the next level unbelievable. She had some of the greatest gold in the history of soccer. So she was a forward nominal? She was a forward nominal. She scored a whole cronch times.
She got us these gold medals or championships in the evening. I mean, we're all in this together, right? Right, right. They're playing, but I'm watching. Of course, everyone watches women's sports. I'm wearing this shirt because some of our teammates made these shirts and women's sports is having a big moment that hopefully continues and grows. But Abby was on the forefront of being like one of the first, you know, me, it was me and him and then Abby want back these huge soccer stars.
But she's an incredible athlete. And so when I got to meet her and got to know her a little bit, I was like so geeked out because I'm just a giant admirer of her athletic ability and what she did for the sport. It was really cool. Really cool to watch her. And she's so funny and kind and smart. That's quite cool. Quite a cool fact. Yeah, she has a podcast with her wife, Clinton. And they're doing really, really neat things together. It's on the podcast too, but yeah, Abby is. Do hard things.
Abby's a real delight of a human, a real delight. Only a good vibe around her. Yeah, for sure. Should we hear her question? Let's do it. Oh, all right. Hi, Teg. Hello, fortune. Hello, May. You're all so handsome. First time. I love your freaking podcast. It's the absolute best. We love listening to it. Number one, my question is this. And as you can see, yes, I am in bed. And it has been a lot going on in our lives.
We've got aging parents and we've got teenage children and we've got businesses and we've got work stuff. And I've been trying to think of a really smart question to ask you guys. But I think that I'm going to just be more real like I want to know some of the methods that you three employ and how to get, because I'm sure you're all just as busy as us. What are the ways in which you use? What are the things that you use for you to bring yourself back to yourself?
I mean, I know we talk about we can do hard things in our other podcast. And I'm like, I'm kind of tired of talking about hard things all the time. And I think sometimes I forget how to even do easy things because I don't know. I just need your help. I need your help figuring out what it is that you three do.
I'm curious if you do things that are similar to me or if you could give me some new things that I can try to do to make myself feel more like myself and less overwhelmed or stressed or whatever. I love you guys. Thanks for asking me to do this. Finally, take. Okay. Look what the answer to the question. I can't hear you. Wait here to the answers. Wow. This is like a direct give me some advice kind of thing. I don't think we've had that before. No. It's a really good question.
I struggle with it too. Like she said, bring you back to yourself. I'm like, I don't know if I was ever with myself. I think I came out of the womb like a gunshot went off and was like, you've been zinging around for my life ever since.
Well, it's so easy in this business to get so consumed with work and there's responsibilities that you do sort of become robotic at times or you don't feel like yourself or you just feel like you're kind of outside of your body going from one thing to the next to the next. So I totally relate to that feeling. Yeah. And it's different. It must be different for everyone what brings you back to yourself because like Abby said, how to make me feel like myself again. So that would be specific to you.
Like, yeah, maybe tapping into those hobbies or passions that you had when you were a kid that you like that you haven't monetized. Like, I think it's hard if you do what you love. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then, but you know, if you do love to paint or play the piano. And it is interesting to hear Abby say like that she's doing all of these things in life that are stressful. And then also she is talking about hard things a lot. I mean, that's what their podcast is.
Yeah. We can do hard things and it's a great podcast. And although they are getting into a lot of heavy stuff, it is funny. I mean, they definitely find the humor there and they're, you know, there's so much silliness at times and that's great. But I can relate in that, you know, for myself when there was kind of a heaviness and in my life of being busy and also being in the middle of all of the stuff I was in the middle of when I was sick and everything in 2012.
And that followed me for a long time. Mm. Talking about it. Yeah. Talking about it and kind of staying in that loop. And even though there's certainly still elements of that that's going to follow me for a long time because I'm known for it and because I still am dealing with hard things in that reality.
But it's also, I reached a point where I had to stop and think, okay, I put out a comedy special or more than one, wrote a book, had a TV show, documentary, all these different things that people can go to and access for any sort of inside or help that they might think or hope to get for me. But that doesn't mean I have to stay there forever. Mm-hm. And a lot of the things that I've been drawn to now is just a lot of silliness.
And that's what I had to really get in touch with for myself of like, who am I? Yes, I went through that and I still go through parts of it and will continue to, but who am I? And I'm like, oh, I love hanging out with friends, talking, being silly. But I love so, so much. That's a part of me, the seriousness and the hard stuff. But I really, really love laughing with friends. And I've had amazing laughs with Abby and Glenin and with you guys and that, I don't know.
I feel like that really brings me back. Because I do think that sometimes you can get caught up in what people expect of you. Oh my god, yeah. And so many different levels. And then you back yourself into a corner and you're like, well, this is my thing or this is what people need for me, this is what they want or expect. And then you are stuck in that corner and you just are like, I just, yeah.
And you might not realize it's taking a toll on you too because you sort of narrativeized it or you've made it light, but then it's still personal and emotional and more to you than the person asking the question and you're talking about this. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So silliness, big time. Yeah. And I have one of my closest friends. She's Max and Finn's godmother. Very, we've been tight since we were children.
We don't see each other and talk to each other every day, but I would say she is one of my absolute closest friends. When I see her, I'm like, I cannot wait to see her. I mean, it brings me back to a calming centered place. Yeah. And a version of yourself that you like. Yeah. And it's just, it's just relaxed and it's, it's every, like we know each other from childhood. We have been through all of the good and bad and I mean horrendous and joyful together. And you're accountable.
These people hold you accountable in life because they've, they've seen every part of you. And I don't know, that that centers me. And I think just in a simple day to day way, I like to just take a walk, no headphones, nothing, have my head clear, just look around, look up, think that stuff centers me. Yeah. Bird poops in your eye. Yeah. I was going to say friends too because I, I feel like the older we get the less we see of some of our friends, it used to be like my, my early days in LA.
I was with friends all the time and we were such a big part of each other's lives. And we're just like always in touch, always at each other's houses. And then when my career started really picking up and I started, especially when I started touring, I was always gone. So then that, that stuff kind of fell by the wayside because it just, I wasn't around like I was before.
So when I'm feeling a little unscentred or like things have been too serious or too businessy or whatever, I have some of those core friends who I can be silly with. And we don't all live in the same place anymore. But if we talk of a phone, they just know me in a way, other people don't know me. And you can kind of say anything and be silly like you said. And that definitely makes me feel good or we'll have brunch or something. And you're just like, you're not.
You know, the comedian or the actor, whatever person, what you're just like friends and you're sharing a cinnamon roll. Did I tell you about my friend Gabby the other day when I was real sad and like you're saying, fortunately, they also, they remember all the times that you've been sad and got through it too. So there's like, it's less alarmist because they're around and they're like, oh yeah, we've been through this before. But my friend Gabby, she left the room for a minute.
I mean, I was so sad. I was like, you know, and she comes back into the room completely naked and runs around the kitchen island in her little body just running around the other. I've never seen her naked before. Like this is a surreal choice for her. And it was just like to jolt me out of what was going on. And it made me cry. La. It was so hilarious. Yeah, I never had a friend do that for me. He was so unexpected. I'll do that for you, fortune. Yes. That's pretty good.
I like music and guitar and stuff. It's good too. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes mine is the opposite of that either we're like want to be with friends that know me and we're laughing and silly, or I just want to be completely alone. Because I do, even though I'm extroverted, I have a big part of my personality that is introverted as well. And I need to just like be on my couch, like begin my lap watching some trash TV show that I don't have to think about anything fireplace on.
Yeah. Just chilling and not doing anything and not having anyone expect anything of me. And just allowing myself to just like not work or answer text just like being nothing. Yeah. And we're all like that. The muscles in your face are just like totally relaxed. You're just like, I'm not even, yeah, that sounds nice. Yeah. I love that. I love that more than anything to just like just be a jacks be there or you just want to be there. Jacks be there for sure.
Because she's, we have this giant on the scale, right? She does. She's on the, she's on the one side of the couch. I'm on the other and we're pretty, we talk a ton, but we are also very good about just being and chilling and not doing anything. So that helps me get re, like reenergized by just doing that. I'm doing an improv show tonight and that kind of, like I'm so tired and I would love to go to bed in the shows at 11 p.m.
But then I remember her, her friend, Elena Johnston is doing it with me and that she's the silliest person I know. And she's going to come. She enters a room like, it's like a firework went off. And she, one time we went to Sarah Silverman's party together and she's not annoying. No, not annoying. That's the thing is she's a delight. A delight. And she walks into the room and she starts going, as she walks into Sarah Silverman's party and I'm like shy, I don't know anyone.
And she, and Elena walks in going, I know what boy it's like. She starts singing the song. Yeah, anyway. And did she know Sarah at the time or? Yeah, yeah, we knew we both knew her a bit, but yeah, I wasn't sure if you were both first time. I think it was our first time at the party. You know, so we were intimidated and she just is so fun as a plus one to anything. But yeah, we're doing an improv tonight and I just know I'm going to, I'm, I just laugh on stage.
I can't even hold it in and she just does ridiculous things. That goes back to that silliness thing. I also think it's just so, I think it comes with age and experience of starting to say no. Oh, yeah, I got to get better at that. Yeah. Yeah, it's so crucial because you really don't have to do everything. Right, right. You really don't. And you know, it's like you get asked all the time. Like, will you do this charity event, will you donate money? Will you be here for this appearance?
Will you do this? And it's like, you want to do things. You want to be helpful. You want to be involved, but it's like at what expense? Yeah, better to pick a few and then really put your all into them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really show up and really like promote it and prep it and beat, you know? Yeah, because I feel like some people get that you, you meeting maybe the three of us and others in our kind of, in entertainment, get asked to do a lot of things.
And then I think there are other people that don't quite understand that you're not the first person that's asked, you know, it's, and so it's a balance of trying to figure out like, I want to do this, but I don't have time. And I always try to say something like, you know, maybe another time just to keep the door open and keep it friendly and whatever. But I do think it's so important to do the lockdown. When you're just beat to the ground or you just need some time off and what about nature?
Like do you guys go in, I never go in nature, really? And I know I have to. That's weird because there is a bear behind you. Where? To look at your bear. What do you think? Don't say that after. Don't say that after. Oh, after the bear thing. Oh, I'm sorry. It just keeps like there is a polar bear behind you. I really felt there was a bear behind them. I really, there's no bear. I mean, maybe there is. Somewhere behind you on this planet. It looks like a woolly mammoth.
It's a weirdly like decorative fluffy chair. Yeah. Yeah, nature though. I remember going on a hike in the mountains when I was like 20 and it was before I had a cell phone event and it was like and we were staying in little like guest houses up in the mountains and it was like, oh, it was the best. No one could reach me. No one knew where I was. And I was just writing my little journal and yeah, you like to go off the grid.
Yeah. Did I tell you about this thing I heard about the darkness retreat? I think we have talked about it where you. Where you send the darks. So you send the dark. You, I don't know if you tell me about it, but I've heard about it and it kind of intrigues me. Oh, not me. No, thank you. That's fun. You want to go in a we'll go in adjacent rooms in the dark. I would be very interested. I heard about this probably 10 years ago.
This was before I was triggered with claustrophobia and and some curious how I would do now. Yeah. And you have to know that door is open if you have to get out for any reason. Yeah. You just sit in the dark for all day. Yeah, so you go up the one I saw was like an organ or something and it's a little cabin and it's pitch black.
And three times a day someone who works there is going to bring you a slide in a little meal and be like, okay, and you're just sitting and I think maybe you could have a little fire going or something, but you tiny what like you can't see. And you're just in there for 72 hours. And when you get out, you're so grateful to be alive, I think. Yeah. I would need to have something in. Yeah, I would pay big, big money for this.
But if I were in a dark cabin, I would need to have like a sledgehammer because I think my claustrophobia would be like, oh, I'd be scared somebody on the other side would be able to lock me in. So I would that would that would trigger me. So I'd need something and I don't actually don't think I'm strong enough to act to get a sledgehammer. I'd lift it much less, knock something down. I'd be like, oh, my back. Yeah. But just knowing it's there.
Yeah. I wonder if we one time did this podcast like from a dark pitch black room, the three of us. And how would that come in? Yeah, like how we heard a few people to watch the videos to see the photo. Wait, is this a new Fedora? Is this a second hat? No, this is the same one, right? The hat. Well, we wouldn't be able to tell if you were wearing it. It would be pitch black. No, you wouldn't. This is why I don't even want to eat in the dark.
I've heard of those experiences where you go past on that at a restaurant and a pitch dark. I don't want to do that. I've done that. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. You know, you're not a shine. That's what I need light. I mean, you're essentially just kind of talking about how dark it is through the whole dinner. Yeah. And but what made me laugh doing that, having that experience was how probably disgusting the room was that we're in because they have no reason to make it nice.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because it is pitch black. They lead you in and direct you to your chair. You can't see anything. And so I found it humorous slash disgusting when I thought about the filth and and ugliness we were probably sitting in. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? I mean, I didn't see my food too. Because we went to this little burger place. It's very popular in New York City in a super dark. It was really hard to see. Donalds, McDonalds, no happy meals.
And they're known for their burgers. And we were like, they gave us our burgers and Jackson's like takes a bite of her and she's like, this, I don't know, something to do. Right. And she took another bite and she's like, I don't know. And so I had to get out like my phone flashlight. And so we do the thing. And her burgers like raw. Oh my god. Like, it kind of cooked them the outside but like super raw in the middle of it. And it's a dark restaurant. It's a dark restaurant.
I mean, just like the vibe is it's not like what you're describing. That one. It's just like hard to see. And it was like so raw. I was like, I need to see my food. I got to see my food. And we were like, hey, your burgers were raw and they were like, huh. I love that waiter. I wasn't a fancy place by any means. They were like, okay. It's a bummer. Bummer Brio. Yeah. Yeah, sorry to hear that. I'm not for it. Oh. Yeah. All right. Well, oh, should we hear Abbie's answer?
Well, I just wanted to say real quick, like, how does one chill or find that piece when you have kids? Because Abbie's house has kids. Yeah. Right. But they're at school. Oh, are they? Okay. Yeah. I mean, Max and Finn, we dropped them off at eight in the morning. They go to school till three and then they have these extracurricular activities that they do after school or if they don't have extracurricular activities, they have just this free play. So that's where you find your mean time.
Yeah. We don't pick them up until just before five. Gotcha. And then we have them on the weekends all day and night, which I don't know. I just assume there's no peace when you have kids. I guess like, no. I don't know. It would be hard to have full peace in your mind because your mind is kind of worried all the time. You got like two little separate minds in your own mind that are just like keeping an eye on those two all the time, you know?
Yeah. I think there's also those weird moments in life where you're just going along and everything feels good. And then your child lets you in on, you know, a thought or feeling that they had where you're like, whoa, I didn't know you were thinking or feeling that. Right. Yeah. And then that can trigger a concern of what else don't I know or what do they not even know to tell me or ask about or and then it spirals into.
And then when they're a teenager and then what if when they're off to the close of that? Yeah. No, thank you. Yeah. But it is all worth it. I know that that's I'm sure you're right. Yes. I yeah. Let's hear what Abby has to say. Maybe she has some advice for us. Okay. So I just woke up from my nap and I guess I'm feeling a little better. That is one way that I returned to myself. Nap. I nap almost every single day.
It is the thing that I have taken from the sports world and brought it into my retirement world that that look Glennon never, Glennon never participates. He doesn't understand that being every once in a while. Get her in here. But I'm here every day. I also go for walks and I work out every day in the morning every week day. Those are things that bring me back to myself. I like to take a I like to take a sauna.
And really I think that most most things that I'm feeling like the way that I'm feeling can be helped with a big glass of water. Oh. Hope you guys agree. A big glass of water. I disagree. I really disagree. I'm really disagree on the napping. I am not a napper. I'm not a napper either. Yeah. I want a nap room. I try sometimes and it just makes me so sleepy after.
I think we're probably all three of us so under slept and like so profoundly deficient and sleep that once you start your body's like give me 20 hours. It's so confusing to take a nap for me. Waking up and just be like, yeah, I get disoriented. What happened? How do you feel about a big glass of water though? I mean, I drink water all day. I should be better about the exercising every day. Are you still treading? I treaded yesterday, morning. I do like that a lot.
It actually has been something I look forward to when I do it a couple of times a week. I really enjoy that. I like the idea of taking a sauna. If someone wants to give me an outdoor sauna, I'd be happy to take a sauna. We have a GoFundMe page for Fortune Sports. If someone has a sauna company, I'll take a sauna. Oh yeah. A sauna company's listening. Send us a chisana. We'd like a sauna and then we can know what Abby's talking about.
Well, it sounds like Abby knows how to bring herself back to her. I know. She's learning some good skills. Yeah, she seems like better at it than herself. I'm like doing improv show. I'm like, yeah, I'll be doing improv show. Oh my god, I would love to see Abby in an improv show. I'm really happy. It is well to think about professional athletes. They're forced to retire at such a young age. It would be jarring to like, you've spent your entire life being the best at this thing.
To be a professional athlete requires crazy amounts of dedication and time. And then I'll send it like 36, 38. You're like, that's it. That would be a lot of wild. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you would have to find ways to figure out yourself and who that person is beyond your sport. Like for me, I never was considered as a professional athlete. You were never considered for a professional athlete. Fortune was never considered in this life. I was never considered for professional athleticism.
And let me take a second to encourage people out there to continue supporting women's sports. Yes. They've made such huge strides and to see these basketball games and soccer games and rugby games and volleyball games to see these stadiums getting filled in a way that they had not seen in the past. Although our women's soccer team led the charge in this. It's really cool that they're finally getting their due.
And we just have to continue to support these sports and these athletes as they continue to do really amazing things. Thank you, Tom. I couldn't have said it better. Well everyone have a happy Halloween. Say it was a for me November 16th. Get your merch. Yeah, ghost. Wear them. Yeah. Get your yeah, ghost t-shirt. Also, if you're in Toronto, I am constantly at Comedy Bar on Danforth. So go to Tignotaro.com to get all of my tour dates and also buy my new album. Hello again.
It's the audio version of my latest comedy special on secretly Canadian records. And you can buy that on my website or from theirs and all of my show information is there too. And send in your handsome costume photos and tag us at the handsome pod on Instagram. Yes, trust like us for an out of fly to your house. Yes, May is coming over no matter what. But truly subscribe to YouTube and the podcast. Rate and review us and also send your favorite episodes to your friends.
And until next time, keep it up. Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro, May Martin and Fortune Feemster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hate gun podcast. That was the audio version of my comedy special. Hello again is available everywhere just in time for the holidays. Go to Tignotaro.com to get a copy for you and a loved one now.
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