No. 84: From Grief to Gratitude + IT'S GRATITUDE CHALLENGE TIME!

for this year. Either you love me well or going about your business, because I don't really have a lot of room nor space for anyone who was not loving me well, because this year I am hyper focused on making sure that I love me well, and when I love me well, not only around people to be not only around while I only allow people to be close to me who are gonna love me well. So again, the energy for twenty twenty four is love me well or leave me alone.

or a dark rum and a coke. Go light yourself a candle, some incense or burn some sage and just get ready to chill out and have a good time. What's up, friends and kin. It's Mimi Resident Auntie Supreme here at Hamming My Purse the podcast, and today I am sipping on some tea. I'm sure you can hear it.

My voice sounds a little groggy. That's because it's early in the morning, and I'm recording this because by any means necessary, we get that work done over here, okay, And so I sound a little bit like Buster Rhymes. And this is how I sound in the morning. Actually it's worse than that. I've been drinking on some hot tea. So the tea that I'm drinking is a tea called Get Relaxed, and the other one is called Calm Buddha Blend. And actually I just looked. Let me tell you somehow

God works. You know, tea brands always print, well not always, but some of them, excuse me, print little messages on their little tea ticker things. At the end, this one says, and it is so on time and on time with the message for today, what you think you become? Well, all right, then what I think I become? And you know what that is why we have to fill our thoughts with goodness. So that's what I'm sipping on. What

are y'all sipping on today? I don't know what you're sipping on because I can't hear you, but I think you should tell me anyway, because I'm very curious to know what y'all drink. I want y'all to know that I love when you leave me messages on Instagram or on Spotify and tell me which you're drinking or which you're sipping. I find that a lot of you are drinking water, and I am impressed because I don't drink

enough water. And the irony of me not drinking enough water is that I own probably close to fifty traveler cups, you know, between the company who shall not be named and a hydroflask and to stan Lee's and other random cups that I've buy. I have over fifty, and I still don't drink enough water. You know, that's a problem. Okay, guys, it's a problem, but one thing at a time, and so right now focused on with this little thing on this tee thing says, which is what you think you become.

Let's go ahead and get into it. Why don't we? So, friends and came for today's jam. I found this song. I don't even know how in the hell I found this song. Now then we're in it, but it is a feel good song. It's by a gentleman that I don't I never heard of him before hearing this song. I'm trying to remember where I heard this song of how I was introduced to it. I think it was very randomly. I was sitting probably working on handy in my purse and it popped up and I was like, damn,

this is hot. Maybe it was on like one of my Spotify play radio playlists. Anyway, it's by a young man and he is from Fayetteville, North Carolina. His name is Arsley A r z l e E. Never heard of him before, never never, never never never. But when I tell you, this song takes me back to like the nineties. It's giving very much nineties R and B. And anyone who knows me knows that I love Me some nineties R and B, eighties and nineties R and B.

Actually it is. It's an adult song, and the song is called Pottery, and basically he's talking about I'm saying you can mold me and bend me any way you want, like pottery, because I'm yours to mold and bend. Okay, So listen to it. It's good. It makes me think about when songs were sensual and sexual without being disgusting. Remember those days, guys. That was a while ago. But do you remember yesterday's price? It's not two days price. So he's talking about you know, I think he's talking

about the sex. Don't get me wrong. I could be wrong because art is left up to interpretation, but you know, maybe that's what I'm on. Maybe I'm in that mental space, but I think he is. And it's it's a beautiful song. His voice is he sings in his head voice right, and so it's very falsetto and light, but it's very controlled. It's very beautiful and the song is just a groove. So let's go ahead and get into it. I'm gonna stop talking so much about it because I want you

to listen to it. But it definitely gives me nineties mid to late nineties vibes. Actually, it's so good and it makes me feel like maybe there's gonna be and not to say there aren't, because there's so many artists that I don't know about, like Arsley, but it just made me think about the fact that, you know, I would love it if like whole, full bodied, robust R and B came back, not all of this like Bubblegum

baby powder Voice doing nine hundred church runs. You know social media singing R and B that we see a lot on social media. I'm talking about full bodied R and B. And the wonderful thing about R and B is that you don't have to be a good singer. I prefer for the person to be able to sing well, and this guy can sing. But it's about the energy and the song and the lyrics and the music and the arrangement and the feeling, as the young people say, the vibe. I'm here for the vibes. Okay, So anyway,

get into Ursley Pottery. Tell me what you like. I'm gonna try to post it on social media. Hopefully it'll be in the Instagram. You know what I'm trying to say, the music dictionary. Don't play with me. I'm getting old the music dictionary thing where I can put it behind like one of my social media posts. But if not, you know where to find it. It's in the show notes. Click on the link, listen to it, tell me what you think, and let's go ahead and get this porty store ted babyd me to well the.

to say that I am grateful for living. And if you have been down with handing my purse since the days of old, you know one thing I will do is focus on gratitude, share which all and make it a challenge. We're gonna we're gonna be going back to the old school because I'm an old fool who's so cool? What you know about that? Anyway?

because that's what I do. So in the spirit of transparency, I have to say that I've really been feeling like my life is really really really influx and I feel off. I don't know if it is my hormones. I don't know if it's paramenopause. I don't know if it is a mild depression. I don't know if it is grief. I don't know if it is because of all of the transitions that are going on around me, particularly at work.

I don't know if it is because I've been working out regularly and it's changing some of my my levels or whatever, you know, like dopamine, serotonin, like they're up and down. I don't know what the hell it is, but something is off. My spirit feels a bit of unrest, and I've been feeling this way for a while now, and I'm not, like I said, I'm not sure if it's because of the flow. Is the flow excuse me of grief? Because grief, excuse me? My nose is a

little running. Forgive me it's an allergy season, because for me, allergy season is all year long. But the one thing that I can pin point is that I've noticed that since I lost my grandmother, like grief for me is very it doesn't really take form, if that makes sense. Like it's kind of all over the place. And so it's kind of like that little white lady on social media that says, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise. I can't do

it this morning because you know, it's morning. I'm not even gonna tell you what time it is, but it's morning. It's very early in the morning. But you know, like I said, we gotta get shit done, stick to the game plan. So I read a few quotes about grief that really hit me in the gut, and a few of them even made me cry, like on the spot,

and crying is what I do. So it's you know, it's fine, but I wanted to share them with you because maybe they will bless somebody one of you, or be a blessing to you, as they were and as they are for me. The first one likings excuse me grief to the ocean, and it says grief is like the ocean. It comes on waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim. And that's by Vicky Harrison. I love this because it did not say

all we can do is learn to swim or drown. No, drowning is not an option. All we can do is learn to swim. You know. I love that, and I think it's just say it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. But it's not my quote, so I'm just gonna read what I saw in the interwebs. The next one is by someone named Washington Irving and it says there's a sacredness in tears. They're not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.

They're the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. The next two are anonymous or we don't know who I wrote them, And this one says, grief I've learned is just love. It's all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes. They are the lump in your throat and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no

place to go. The next one says, my scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. And the last one comes from the prolific and philosophical mind of Winnie the Pooh, and Pooh said, if there ever comes a day when we can't be together, ooh, I'm gonna cry. Ooh, ooh see what I mean, See what the fuck I'm talking about? Anyway, let me try this again, for we need the pool.

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever. Listen, that boy pool is getting deep over here right. Wait a minute, is poor boy or girl? It's poo non binary like I don't know anyway, That's not in my business. Okay, we're just trying to stay focused. Excuse me. Sorry, see I got a little weepy there for a second. Sorry that I'm sniffling in your in your ears. But anyway, poopy and non binary or not identifying as a male

or female bear, it's none of my business. So I'm gonna mind my black ass business. And you know, let's just go ahead and keep it moving. Let's move for anyway. One more quote that I really loved about how to navigate grief. Sorry, y'all, I'm trying to get it together. One more quote that I really loved focus on how to navigate grief and the instructions are really spot on. And it says, and this is from someone named Zoe Clark Coates, it says, grief is like a wild flower.

It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead, we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made it bloom. I love that, because that is it. I'm going to read it again. Grief is like a wild flower. It can erupt from the ground anywhere it chooses. When it blossoms, we must be careful not to step on it. Instead, we must honor its existence and appreciate that love made

it bloom. And you know, going forward, I am going to remember this lesson and I may even associate my grief with the song Wildflower. There's a song by a group called new Birth, you know the one let her cry, Oh she's a lady, She's a lady. If you don't know it, lucky for you. You know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna put it in the show notes for you. You already know I'm gonna share it with you because my

singing is not doing it any justice. For my gen xers, shout out to motherfucking gen X. You know the song. But if you don't know the song I got you covered, don't even worry about it. It's going to be in the show notes. And you know, as I listen to the words, it really really fits perfectly, Like I couldn't. I couldn't believe that it fits so perfectly. When I was getting ready to do this, you know, it just made me happy because I was just like, look at

God working stuff out for me. J J Jesus. And now my grief has a song and it's not a song that I associate with sadness or it's not a depressing song. And I'm proud of myself because I was able to shift the narrative of my grief without even trying, and I promise you I did it in real time as I was working on this episode. And it just something about that pop that quote, excuse me, not that post. That quote just sent me to that song. And I

now have a song for my grief. And that is why I love music, because music is art, clearly, but it can just it can just take care of all kinds of things. So thank you music. I am grateful. Shout out to music because music will hear this because music is a person. And it's really awesome because it just goes to show that when you start to do the work to heal, things will happen to help you to shift the narratives that you have formed and to shift the perspective of your world that you live in

and how you see that world. And I'm grateful for that. And while I didn't plan to spend that much time on grief, sometimes you just got to let the spirit lead you. And where my spirit leads me is where

I will go with joy and with happiness. So anyway, I really came here to talk to you guys today about gratitude and thinking about how I have drifted away from my own gratitude practices is what led me to thinking about grief and unaddressed and untouched grief that isn't caressed and held and nurtured and loved on with healing, can turn into something that's really ugly, like a monster. And you don't know this about me, but I'm scary as shit. I'm scared of every fucking thing. And I

don't like no fucking monsters. I don't like ugly stuff. I don't is scared shit out of me putting on a mask and jumping out at me like that's kind of shit. I peel on myself like it's not okay. I don't like it. So we don't need no monsters, you know what I mean. We don't want that. Nobody likes that anyway. So, as I said, my life feels like it's out of sorts. I feel a little out of order, and you know it's crazy because I've been going to the gym regularly. I have very wonderful, meaningful,

loving relationships in my life. With my friends, my family. I have meaningful relationships with my coworkers, uh, the ones that I like anyway, the ones that matter to me. And my skin is clear, you know what. Hold on, y'all, hold on. Let me remind y'all one more time. See I told y'all before in an episode earlier this year, in the Year of Our Lord on Old Dominie twenty twenty four, that y'all need to go see Alex down in Tyson's Corner or Vienna Virginia, whatever you wanna call it,

at Alexandra Healing Spot. Okay, And this is not a fucking ad. This is because I don't want y'all out here with pop marks on your face looking busted, not glowing. Okay. I even gave y'all a code a couple of months ago for when you book your first appointment. And there's actually a couple of videos on my social media page where excuse me, I'm a collaborator on the video, so

when Alex posted it, you could see it. But it was one that was just posted last week on my Instagram page of my last visit with Alex and I got a process done called micro needling, And let me tell you something, baby, b Does it hurt? No, I have a higher tolerance or pain, so I'm probably not the best person to ask. It doesn't feel great, but it does not hurt. But let me tell you something. My skin is gl la la la la la lowing. You should call me glow Riller because my skin is glowing. Okay,

people always talking about their face. Card not decline and take your fucking makeup off, though. Let me see what your makeup look like, and what your makeup look like when you ain't gotten. I mean, tell me what your face look like with no makeup, and I mean no makeup, no concealer, not even no moisturizer. Tell me what your face look like when you just put some essence on your face, Wash your face, put some essence on. Don't even put your serum on yet, cause serum can give

you a little bit of a glaze. Just put your essence on, which is what you put on before your serum. And if you don't know what essence is, I'm not talking about the magazine, shout out to Essence magazine. I'm over here talking about skincare ladies, and you know what, and gentlemen, because don't nobody want no man with no ashy, dusty, unexfoliated, flaky,

super poor large skin. Don't nobody want to do with nasty skin either, And they sell too many products targeted and specifically four men for grooming and to take care of yourself that y'all walking around here will busted up skin. It don't make no sense. If you ain't gonna go get a facial, if you ain't gonna go and lay down, let somebody tend to your skin, give your own self a facial, watch some videos on YouTube and figure out how to do it. A lot of y'all got beards.

When you go to the barbershop, they give you a little lightweight facial. Take care of yourself, brothers, okay, because don't nobody want to see you out here looking dusty and ashy and dusty and ashy anyway, And I'm not talking I'm about just putting grease on your face, because it goes beyond that, because you've got to take it off. The true understanding and not understand not the word I want. I don't know the word I'm trying to think of

because I told you early in the morning. But when you really have a glow you'll see the glow even when you don't have any moisturize on your face. That's when you know you're glowing. Anyway, that's enough of that, so go look through my show notes because I'm not going to I gave you the juice already, like I gave you the product. Ira gave you the juice. Now look through my show notes from this year. It ain't been that long. Excuse me. Go look through the show notes,

find the link and the code and go. If you are in the DMV area, go pay Alex a visit and get your face together. Anyway, back to gratitude, Sorry guys. So anyway, now, as I realized that my spirit was not set on and I started to look closely at what was going on, I was having a lot of negative thoughts. I've been feeling really tired. The thing that really has me jacked up is I've been feeling stuck.

I hate that feeling because I used to experience it a lot in my twenties before I really got into a heavy healing journey, or even before I started where I would feel stuck. I have been experiencing feelings of self doubt, not believing in myself you know, just not being kind to myself and kind of feeling numb, where I'm like just coasting right through life instead of living.

And it's easy to overlook being in this space, especially when it could be some stuff that you know isn't quite going right in our lives, or life isn't pinning out the way we wanted to, whether that's in your relationship or in love that we're dealing with, if you're unhappy at work, feeling unfulfilled, like we often just attribute it to these things. And that's not to say that life's woes can't or doesn't play a part in it.

But I soon recognize where the void was or where the hole was for me, and I realized that what was missing was supreme gratitude in my life. That's what it is. I figured it out. So when we are living a life that is lacking in supreme gratitude, we suffer. And some of you are probably like, well, Mimi, what do you mean by supreme gratitude? Let me break it down. Okay, Supreme is an adjective. It means in this instance, very great, intense,

or extreme. So therefore, and hence fourth friends again, I am talking about intense and supreme gratitude. Well, Mimi, what

does that look like? I thought you'd never ask. That simply means that you are focused on being grateful for your entire existence, from the Ruda to the Tuda, from the car we drive, to the gas in the car that powers the engine, to the heat in the car that keeps us warm, to the ability to watch the moon from the driver's seat of your car while you drive on the highway to go get yourself some French fries, because that's what you want. You feel me, You get

what I'm saying. You're picking up what I'm talking about. Basically, what it means is that you are not overlooking much of anything, so something as grandiose as being grateful that you have a home, or being grateful that you can run, that you have legs, to being grateful that you have let hairy legs, being grateful that you can afford razors to shave your hairy legs, being grateful that you can buy moisturizer and cream or oil to moisturize your legs

after you shave them, to being grateful to have socks, to being grateful to have shoes, to being grateful to have the ability to run and walk outside and enjoy the air, to the ability to smell being grateful for the flowers that are here. I mean, like you don't really miss anything. Intense gratitude or extreme gratitude is extremely specific. It's very intentional. It's laser focused. And again, pay attention to me when I say it is very, very very intentional.

Gratitude has a lot of proven psychological and physiological benefits like higher levels of happiness, better sleep, increase mindfulness, less stress, and a healthier body. And so it's funny that I read this because I've been going to the gym. I've been working out, but I've been realizing that the scale is not really moving. It'll move like maybe between four

to six pounds, right, And to me, that's typical. That's my typical, like twenty eight day cycle weight shift because I used to monitor my weight very closely because and some people say, oh, it's not good to do that. You shouldn't weigh yourself every day, mind you fucking business and do what works for you. It's not a bad thing to do. It's a bad thing to do if you become obsessive about your weight and you get depressed because you're not losing weight or you're gaining weight. I

don't get depressed about that. I've been big on my life. What am I gonna get depressed about it? Now? I've always done it because it's smart to pay attention to how your body shifts in weight, especially as a woman over a twenty eight day span, which is your cycle. I know what foods or what drinks make me my weight go up. I recognize when I'm not drinking enough water. I recognize when I drink alcohol, my weight definitely goes up. I can tell when there's a lot of inflammation in

my body just by monitoring my weight daily. Now, lately I have not been doing it because my training tell me not to, but I'm going to go back to doing it eventually. Now I just do it like every two weeks. But anyway, once again, I digress. But I'm just saying, I'm just trying to let y'all know some stuff. I just want y'all to be aware of some shit. But anyway, it's interesting that it talks about a healthier body because I have been going to the gym. At

one point, I had shifted my eating habits. They have gotten not so great again because I had a little, a little, a little fall, and you know, you know, you know, you know when your body is out of whack. So I'm excited about trying to get back, not trying to get back because I'm going to do it. I'm excited about getting back into my gratitude practice because I'm excited to see the changes that are going to take place not just mentally, emotionally, psychologically, but also physically for me.

And so when we are intentional about our gratitude, it can improve the functionality of our everyday lives. Here's a few ways that we can do that. So one, it can improve our mental well being by fostering a positive outlook and reducing stress. We all know they all the time. And if you don't know stress, the chemical in our bodies that produce a stress called cortisol. Cortisol is found oftentimes it affects your mid section, like your stomach, your waistline,

all those areas. So all that shit is connected, friends, and can Okay. Next, it can strengthen relationships in our lives because we are expressing appreciation for the people that are in our lives, whether there are people that we love, and like or people that we are not fond of. Everyone is in our lives for and with a purpose, and we know that that's a fact because people are either a blessing or a lesson in our lives, and

we need lessons and we love blessings. Right. It can also help to cultivate the feelings and true understanding of abundance and satisfaction with what we already have been blessed with. That one is important for me anyway. Once again, it says it can help cultivate the feelings and true and cultivate the true understanding of abundance and satisfaction with what we already have been blessed with. Lastly, it also increases resilience by always focusing on the wonderful things in our lives,

even during difficult times or difficult situations. And for me, this is why a gratitude ritual is important. And clearly I have strayed away from my gratitude rituals just because life be life and the fuck out of me sometimes, you know, And I'm not perfect. I am not a guru, I am not a being a human. I am a human being, but I am not a being that is

without flaw without fault, and neither are you. And I think it's important for us us to show some grace to ourselves and some mercy because life is not easy. It is difficult, and we have to be gentle with ourselves. And so in the spirit of being gentle with myself, I am going to get back into my daily gratitude practice and I want to share that with you in that experience with you. And the way that I do that with you, guys, is by doing a gratitude challenge.

And so I've done gratitude challenges in the past. There are several episodes with it. I know. The first one I did was in November of twenty twenty one, and it was amazing. It was amazing, It was amazing. Orhere's that the only one, No, I think I did it twice. One of them I was really really vocal about, and

that's the one in November twenty twenty one. So in the spirit of doing that challenge, I noticed that a lot of amazing things opened up for me and my energy was just and my vibes, as the kids say, were on a different frequency. And I want to get off of the frequency that I'm on to get back to, or not even back to. I want to move forward. I want to get to a new frequency, if that makes sense. And so it's time to get back to that.

And it's time to get back to focusing on being grateful for everything and every piece of the puzzle of my life in spite of whatever I got going on, you know what I mean. I got to get back to it. And that is where that gratitude challenge comes in. It's a wonderful way to kick off a reset in excuse me, my gratitude mindset and yours too. Spring is coming, the seasons are about to change. Days are going to get longer, the sun is going to be out longer. So that should help with you know how I have

been feeling. But what better way to align that with the changing of the season. And maybe I'll start doing a gratitude challenge every time the seasons changed. Just gonna throw that out there. I'll probably forget if I'm not being if I'm being transparent, I'll probably forget. But anyway, let's just get ready. And so you guys may be thinking, what's a gratitude challenge? Me me? Well, what happens is for a specific amount of time, we will do a

daily gratitude ritual together. And that doesn't mean that I'm going to record something every day about it, but every week, every episode during that span of time, I'll do kind of like a check in, and I would implore you to engage with me, whether that is via Spotify, Apple Podcasts, with a review, social media. I'm on threads, I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook, just to do a check in and see like, how's it going. But we're going to do it together, because why I do it alone. I'll do

check ins weekly. I usually do a check in about halfway through, but every episode I'm gonna mention it and bring it up and I'll talk about it a little bit on social media, and I'm gonna I'm really asking some of you guys to share with me when the Gratitude Challenge is over, how it has helped you or what you have discovered about yourself or about your life while doing the challenge. And I'm really excited to start it and the way that i will ask you to

share with me. In past times, at the end of the Gratitude Challenge, I had some people that told me that they did they were listeners I two of them. I had never met one. What is a former coworker and fan of the show and friend of the show.

Shout out to Ussence, and I'm talking about a person named Essence, not the magazine and not the skincare stuff I was talking about earlier, but anyway, also shout out to your baby, shout out to quest But anyway, they came on the show and they talked about how the Gratitude challenge, how it manifested in their life, what they noticed, what they noticed about their environment, what they noticed about the people around them, but more importantly, what they noticed

and discovered about themselves and how it has changed it changed them in that moment or during that time. And it was really really a beautiful show. If I can remember, I will link it in the show notes. But if I don't, I want to say it's episode thirty seven thirty eight. I could be very wrong, but it's the first episode of twenty twenty two. I do know that for a fact. So if you can't go back and listen to it. And I am really excited to start

it again because I don't feel right, y'all. Something is off, and I know it's off, and I don't know if it is a hormonal thing, because I am a woman of a certain age and I have a hormonal condition in addition to that. But something is off kilter. I don't know if it's my grief. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that the sun is not out enough or that it's cold, and I can't, excuse me drive with my windows down and my sun roof open and just get the sun on my skin.

But whatever it is, it's time for me to resent her. And so what I do know is that a gratitude challenge will immediately shift our energy from focusing on what we don't have to what we do have. So I am asking you to join me. Who will join me? I'm going to do it for forty days. I always do it for forty days, and I don't know why forty days. Forty is a very spiritual number in the Bible.

Somewhere something happened for forty days and forty nights. It rained for forty days and forty nights with Noah in the arc right, And I know in Islam that there holy fast and time when they fast Ramadan is for forty days. So I do this for forty days because excuse me, it is a spiritual practice for me. And we're going to start on March twelfth, So that gives you some time. Because this episode is going to be released on March the fifth. That gives you seven days

to prepare. I really want to start today, and I might actually just start today just to get start flexing my muscle. But we will start as a community or as a unit. As a community, a unit, and a record label. We will start on March to twelfth. Shout out to anybody who knows the reference of a crew, a crew, what do they say that has a crew something? And as a record label, Shout out to gen X. I was about to say shout out to the person who said that, but I won't since Snoop Dog owns

it now, Shout out to death Row Records. It was Shug Knight who said that about Bad Boy Records in the nineties. But what on the source of words? But anyway, it sounds like a lot, but realistically it's not. So we're gonna start on March twelfth, and we'll go to April twenty. First, I believe that that is forty days. If it is not charge it to my head and not my heart if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that it is forty days, and as a community, we

are going to do this together my families. Right, I'm out here, like Marshaun Lynch, trying to restore my community. And I'm going to give you two easy, very descriptive ways to implement a simple gratitude practice. The first one is a daily two minute gratitude practice. Now this one that I'm reading, the essence is the word of the day. Every time I say essence, I'm going to play a sound Okay, clearly because I said essence. So at the root of what I'm about to share with you, that

is the basis for both of the rituals. But this one is just a little bit different. It's just about preference, and so this one is really good to do in the evening before you go to bed. But you can just find a time that works best for you. It might be in the middle of the day when you take your lunch break. It might be while you're sitting in the line at school to pick your kids up from school. It could be before you take your yoga class. It could be after you take your yoga class. It

could be when you're taking a dump. Well, it could be whenever you like. It's totally up to you. The most important thing is that you are consistent, So pick a time that you know that you can commit to and stick to it. You want to get a small notebook. It doesn't have to be a gratitude journal, but it can be a small little notepad is fine, and that

will be your dedicated gratitude notebook. The notebook is key because it's essential to actually put your pen to a paper in ritualistic practices, especially spiritual practices, instead of typing it out. If you don't have access to paper in the moment, type it in your notes. But when you get home or when you get to your notebook, like if it's something that you don't want to forget, make a note on your phone for things I'm grateful for. You can never write down too much of what you're

grateful for. Make a note, but when you get home you need to write it in your notebook. Okay. The key is to put pen to paper when you are doing spiritual practices. It is the mind and body connection of writing your gratitude by hand. It amplifies the benefits of it kind of like how making a home cooked meal is always better for you and more healthy and more what's the word. It's more nurturing to your body and your soul than a meal that you buy at

the store. Two, keep it close to your bed if you're doing it at night, or wherever you go every day, wherever you return to every day at the same time. Maybe it is by the coffee pot, so you can jot down what you're grateful for while you make your coffee or your tea. Just put it somewhere where you know that you're going to go to that place every single day, every night or morning. I feel like the notebook is better at night, though, every night or morning.

Write the date at the top of the page and set your intentions. What does that mean. That means that you're going to tell yourself for a set amount of time, however long you want to. You feel like you want to write, Okay, today, I'm going to write for two minutes. Today, I'm gonna be right for twelve minutes. Today, I'm gonna write for twenty five minutes about things that I'm grateful for.

It's all up to you. I find that in the beginning it might take a little bit longer, but as you commit and you are used, you get used to. It becomes a habit. Even if you're only doing it for two minutes, two minutes is enough, like it's fine, and you'll find that two minutes is a really long time actually, So you do it that way, and then in that time, you just write everything you're grateful for. Anything that comes to mind for you is what you're

gonna put down. Don't censor your thoughts. Don't don't like scale back, don't say, oh, it's stupid if I say that. I'm looking at my plans right now, and you know, like, I'm grateful for my plans. I'm grateful that my plants are still alive because I started out with fifteen plans and now I have four. Okay, I'm grateful for them. I almost call them motherfuckers, but that wouldn't be right. I'm grateful for these plants, and I want them to know I'm grateful for them. I love you, guys, I'm

so glad you're still here. But I'm grateful for my plans. I'm grateful for them. They're beautiful. They bring me joy. So it could be something anything from something huge like your health, or your parents, or your your coworkers that you have a good time with, to something as small as your fifty point cup collection, or you know, finding a new song like Arsley's Pottery, or the fact that you remember to you know, flush your teeth last night, like whatever it is that makes you happy or that

brings you joy. Finding a new incense that you really like. I'm oftentimes grateful for that because I love incense, and when I find new ones that I really like, it brings me joy. Another gratitude ritual is the one that I love the most and the one that I typically do, and that is by buying a pack of post its

or a pack of index cards. You find a bowl or a vase or something that is large enough to hold forty folded post its or index cards, or do whatever you like with them if you want to throw them on the floor at show business, but get some post its or some index cards, or if you need to, you can cut up some paper if you want to. However it goes. I personally bought a bit standing based from home since specifically to hold my gratitude notes. Uh. And so what you're gonna do is this one is

not time based. This one is very different. This one is you're gonna write down five things, five to ten things every day that you are grateful for, every single day. The difference with this ritual is that it's very important that you do it in the morning versus doing it at night. You don't need to spend a lot of money. You could, like I said, cut up some paper if you want to. I just prefer ease. And I like things that are already done for me. And ain't nobody finish,

sit up and cut up no damn paper. I'm not doing that. I'm not. But just like the other rituals, you're gonna do this daily, this one, like I said, is just not about a specific amount of time. It's about quantity. And the quantity is five to ten rituals every morning. And if you want, you can even toggle between the two rituals. Last night, I was in Barnes and Noble and I saw this cute little gratitude journal

and it's supposed to last you for three years. And so it has three spots on there for you to put the date in the year on there. And so what I'm gonna do is I'm going to write in that every night and just write like one thing that I'm grateful for. But in the morning, I plan on writing all of my five to ten on my post it notes or on my in desk cards. I love doing it. I just remember I'm excited. I'm getting excited about doing it because it invigorates me in the morning.

It's a great way to start off your day with a mindset of gratitude and being focused on being grateful for the things that you have in your life every single day, and it will eventually help to shape your long term mindset as you go out and face the world and face the day. It can really shape and change the outcome of your day. And the most important thing here, like I said, is to be as specific

as you can. Instead of saying something like I'm grateful for my best friend right that I'm grateful that my bestie called me on my way to work and listen to me while I told her about my long day at work yesterday. Take it up a notch if you want to, by focusing on feelings rather than events, like the amazing I'm grateful for the amazing feeling of laughing with my best friend about my crazy co workers yesterday or something like that. Make sure that you write authentically.

Do not be phony. Being phony is fucking pointless when you're being grateful, it's pointless. So some of you who have an issue or have a problem with being authentic, you won't have to just figure this out because you cannot be phony when you are expressing gratitude, because who the fuck are you being phony for? Like it's your

gratitude journal. You're being phony for God? Because that's problematic, my gi, that is a problem if you're being phony for God, Like that is simple, Like that's simple as shit. But anyway, this journal or these posted notes that you keep will become like a record of your gratitude. And so with each entry you are putting a coin into your gratitude bank, and over time you will have a

lot of money, a lot of gratitude money, baby. And so making sure that you have a practice is very centering, it's very calming, and it keeps us focused on what is most important in our lives, and it helps to bring us into a life of ease. So mark your calendar's friends and can March the twelfth, twenty twenty four. That gives you a week from when this is released now. If you don't listen to it the week that it is released, that's your problem. I don't have anything to

do with that. But you missing out, my jie. You're missing out on this gratitude goodness that's about to take place. Okay, So marsh as well, you got a week to get your posted or cut up your paper, or get your notebook, your pen, you post it your index cards for me. I take pride. I'm in pens. Also, it's a mild obsession. I may have one hundred pins, but anyway, buy yourself some nice pins, a pretty notebook or a freaking composition notebook.

I love composition notebooks, by yourself, a nice pen, and then get ready to express some gratitude by yourself, some pretty paper, some pretty post it, some pretty colors or just plain yellow ones, some pretty index card or just some white ones. And just make sure that every day you are putting a pen to paper to be thankful and be grateful for the things that you have. So ready, get set, go, We got this. I'm excited. I'm excited for you guys to do this for me, not for me,

because you're damn sure ain't doing it for me? You're doing it for yourself. I'm excited for you guys to do this with me, and I can't wait to hear about it. Like I said, you can share it with me on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Instagram, threads, Facebook. But I'm really excited to do this and I'm excited that we get to do this together. So let's do it, friends of can let's get into today's straight facts question. I'm

just going straight forward. My husband and I have been married for six years and we recently bought a house. There's a single woman who lives across the street and she often needs help with her trash cans. Every Monday night, he goes over and helps her pull her trash cans down to the end of the driveway. When I ask him why he does it, he says he's just being nice. I express that I don't like it, but he says

he's just being a nice neighbor. Should I let it go or should I push for him to stop helping her? Maybe I should talk to the female neighbor about putting her own trash out. And that is from Teresa in Atlanta. Well, well, well, Teresa, what kind of insecurity are you harboring, Sis, the man is being kind. I'm willing to bet that your husband grew up with his dad, or with an uncle, or with a grandfather or somebody, some man who taught him how to be kind to women and how to help

a lady out with certain things. Teresa, what is wrong with this man helping this lady pull his trash can down the street? Like? Is it like mss Parker on Friday? Like is she out there in booty shorts, oiled up, bending over water in her lawn? Like what is it? Because if you're telling me you have a problem with him being kind with her, helping her pull her trash down, Like that's just a neighborly thing to do. Did you also? Like, I'm curious, Theresa, I'm not trying to be funny. I

swear to God, I'm not. Like and there's nothing wrong with this, But where did you grow up? Baby? Like? Did you grow up in?

not a just just a you know, it's weird. I don't know why he's doing it, because men do this all the time. Women do it too, like people help each other. Like have we gotten that far from you know, humanity and being kind and being loving to one another that people think it's weird that people help people with their trash, their neighbors with their trash. Like I said, you know your husband. You know if he's a slut.

You know if your husband's slut. You know if your husband is a cheater, you know if he is not right. You know that because he Yoman, honey. You know if he yo man and somebody else man too. But if he's not, and if he's just being kind by helping your neighbor, chill the fuck out, Okay, chill out, because it just sounds like these are your insecurities that you are just throwing at him, and people don't like that.

Like I hate when people be like. Men don't like when women always you know, people don't like when other people say, excuse me, when other people say things that are ridiculous. And I could hear a woman saying, oh, is you fucking her because you're taking a trash out? Calm down, calm down, baby, sis. He could very well just be being kind. What is it? Is the neighbor really pretty? So if she got a big butt, big boobs, nice cheekbones, like, what is it? What about her is

intimidating for you? Because what we really do, what we really need to do, Teresa, is examine why this is a problem. And if we examine why this is a problem, I'm sure it will lead us back to you. You need to do some reflecting. What about her intimidates you to the point that you don't like that this man is helping her with her damn trash cans. Now I could be wrong. He could be sleeping with your neighbor. I don't know, because I don't know your husband and

I don't know this neighbor. But what I do know is that if you're in a relationship that makes you so uncomfortable that watching your spouse or your partner do something kind for another woman makes you uncomfortable, Like, baby, you got big problems. You need to talk to somebody about this, because it ain't h This is a you thing that you need to examine. And I'm not saying that it's unwarranted because remember, Theresa, I don't know you.

I don't know you and your husband's situation. Maybe he's cheated on you before and that makes you uncomfortable and you don't trust him. But also if that's the case, come on now, who the hell want to live like that? Who wants to live like that? So thereesa please and also please don't approach this woman about these trash cans because you might get cussed the fuck out, and for what, we don't need that. It's not necessary. It's no need

to take this to that lady. Talk to your husband, but just also know that when you're talking to him and you tell him that you don't like that he's being kind to another human being, that's a red flag. And if it is because maybe there's been some infidelity or in that and I'm stretching, I don't know, and that makes you uncomfortable, that's a red flag too. Because you need to resolve that within yourself, whether that looks like, excepting the fact that you can't be with somebody that

stepped out on you because the trust is gone. Sometimes you gotta lets shit go. I ain't telling you to leave your husband because I don't do that. I don't do that in real life, podcast life, no life. Unless he's physically abusive or she is physically abusive, then I will tell people you should probably look into getting the fuck out of there, but you need to do some reflecting. Okay, you you you good luck, Teresa. Also, Teresa, if you need it, in my show notes, there's a link to

find yourself a therapist if you don't have one. It is not an ad, it is not an affiliate link. I ain't getting no kickback. This is a resource for people, because people, because this is how I found my therapist and she has changed my motherfucking life. Shout out to my motherfucking therapist. So, Teresa, why don't you go look into show notes and find yourself a therapist so we can get to the root of this. Okay, all right, Sis, I love you. I want you to feel better. Friends

in him for today's we got to do better. It is a quote from the good Reverend Jesse Jackson, Okay of the Rainbow Coalition, and Reverent Jesse Jackson says, actually, it's a great quote. He says, no one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams. Thank you,

Uncle Reverend Jesse Jackson for that word. I needed it today and yesterday, and I'll probably need it tomorrow too. Shout out to Reverend Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton friends. Again. The first thing I want to do is say thank you to God, because God is supreme in my life and I recognize and appreciate the grace, the mercy and the blessings that and even the lessons that God extends to me every single day of my black ass life.

I want to say thank you to my folk. I want to say thank you to each and every one of you that have been rocking on me since day one. And that is March the first of twenty twenty. And you want to know what's funny. Today is March the first, twenty twenty four. Happy birthday. Was not really the official birthday, but it is the official trailer release date, birthday of handing my personal happy trailer release birthday to hand me my purse V podcasts. My baby is Finna be four.

I'm grateful for y'all. Just in the spirit of gratitude. I'm grateful for those of you who have been listening to listening to me for four years. I really really appreciate you guys for being here, and even if you just started listening today, I thank you for that as well. I'm grateful. I'm just grateful. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my friends, my friends and ken, the people who support me, and of course, most importantly again,

every single one of you guys out there listening. I love y'all. There's a special part of my heart where my love for you is stored, and I love you so much. And it's nothing short of an honor and a privilege and a blessing to share my time and my energy with you, especially if you keep coming back to spend time with me. I look forward to the next time that we get to do this one another. Now, before you exit out of whatever streaming service you're using,

to listen to this. Stop what you're doing, and if you haven't done so already, look for the subscribe or follow button. Click it if it's an option where you're listening, and join the family. I also want to say side note, I love when you guys start listening or you find the show and then you follow me on Instagram or tell me about it on Facebook or Instagram or threads

or Spotify. I love that. I love it. Next, speaking of Instagram, I want you to go over to Instagram and follow me at hand Me my Purse Underscore podcast. Also follow me on Twitter. Actually, don't follow me on Twitter because Elon Musk. Speaking of Elon Musk, and on Facebook and threads, you can follow me on Threads. You will find me if you go to my Instagram profile and click on the little swirly thing it looks like

a at sign. That's how you can find me. On threads and on Facebook just search hand Me my Purse pott. If you happen to listen on a streaming service or medium that allows you to do so, please rate and review the show or give it a thumbs up if you can. You know what friends that can can? You do me a favor. Please, please, in the spirit of handing my purse about to officially turn four years old on April first, twenty twenty four, can you leave a review? Can you do that? Can you go just take two

minutes on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify and leave a review. Please. I'm begging you, and I don't like begging, but please, can you do that for me?

tell a friend? Please submit your questions to the for the street fact segment by clicking on the link in the show notes that simply says submit a question for straight Facts, or you can click the link in my Instagram profile and look for the button that directs you to submit a question, and who knows, your question may be featured on an upcoming show. Also, remember that show

notes are always available in the episode description. Wherever you're listening to the show, be sure to take a look at the show notes because that is where I put all of the links and other information that I mentioned during the show that you may want to check out, in addition to some stuff that I just want to share with you. Also, just so you know, the music for Hanmy My Purse the podcast is provided by none other than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Shout out to

Gloomy Tunes, Shout out to West Baltimore. Last, but not least, I want to give a big old shout out to my producers. Together we make up none other than Rando Banjo and the Dirty Through And I want to say to you that I look forward to you looking forward to listening to hand Me My Purse the Podcast each and every Tuesday, and I'm out this bitch peace. Hand

Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts. For more shows from my Heart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.