No. 45: The Bastardization of Juneteenth + Radical Black Joy + Gratitude Challenge Part TWO.

a good time. What's up, friends and ken, It is none other than Mimi Walker, Resident Auntie Supreme, here hand me my purse the podcast. And today I am sipping on a little cocktail I made for myself in honor of Juneteenth, which is coming up if you are listening to this before Juneteenth. And I made it in honor, like I said, of Juneteenth and my ancestors. I made

it to honor our ancestors. And in this little cocktail, I will tell you that first and foremost, it is red in color, because that holds a very specific significance when celebrating Juneteenth, which I will get into explain a little later. And in this cocktail, I have some lemonade, strawberries, hibiscus tea that I'm brewed just from a tea bag, and some Remy Martin Vsop which is a champagne kognak.

And you know Black people love kognak. Okay Hannessy, Hemmy Hennessy and Remy Martin are really the only two konyaks that I know. Oh do Say, Do Say is a konnyak. But anyway, I have Remy Martin vs. Op champagne. I love saying that champagne kognak and it's been sitting in my refrigerator and I put a cinnamon stick in it. And I learned there from Gina over at the bedroom Bartender.

Shout out to Eugena also for being on my very first Juneteenth episode back in twenty twenty, and that episode to this date, it's one of the most listened to episodes of Hand Me My Purse, So shout out to Eugena. I have two genas that are friends to Hand Me My Purse. Gina Page, the president and co founder of African Ancestry dot Com and Gina founder and president creator

and what does she call herself? I can't remember Concoctress over at the Bedroom and Bartender, but I'm gonna link that episode this episode number eight in the show notes. That was a really good episode. It was extremely informative. We learned a lot about making cocktails, but we also learned about Juneteenth and the significance of certain beverages and foods that are eaten during those celebrations and that have

been incorporated into June teenth celebrations over the years. I'm also going to link an article that I read about the importance of red colored foods and beverages as it relates to Juneteenth in the show notes as well. There are plenty of opportunities here at handing my Purse for you to learn something new or easily share them with someone you love or someone you like. Either way you can learn something, and who doesn't like to learn friends?

I'm caving for today's jam. The song is entitled I Got It and then is by an artist, a young lady. Her name is og which, first of all, that's a dope ass name I have. But anyway, I'm not gonna talk too much about this. I don't have too much to say about this song other than this shit is hot, and it's hot like fresh fish grease on a Friday night. This young sayster og. She did not come to play. She's not here to play with y'all at all. Do you understand me? Her voice is very smoky and not

like a smoker like, but it's like smokey. Do you understand that? And I don't know why I'm rubbing my fingers together like you can see me and understand what I'm doing. But her voice has texture. Boom, that's what it is. Her voice has texture, and it's like the texture of smoke if you could touch it. And the really dope part is that the lyrics of this song could easily be played over like a real like a dope ass hip hop beat. It kind of is because the beat is dope. And as I said it before,

my voice is just phenomenal. It's not like anything I have actually heard before, and I of it. And I'm often grumpy because I've told you that I'm a bit of a music so now, but I'm often grumpy when I think about the state of not necessarily music, but the state of vocalists and vocal ability and people who sing or call themselves singers in this current musical climate. But I love when I find someone awesome. Jasmine Sullivan cannot carry the young gals on all on her back,

all by herself. She needs some help in the game, you know what I mean, And so I like people who can sing. Also, please be advised that the production and the arrangement of this song is Out of this world. OG's debut album or debut eb debut EBT. Come on food Stamps. OG has her debut EP out now and that is called Monologues. Go check it out. There's some other gyms on the EP two, but for me, this song reigns supreme. It's like it's the one. Go check

it out, go listen to it as usual. You will find the direct link to the song in the show notes, so you can check it out. You're very welcome and look at that. It's Black Music Moth. This is my gift to you guys. It's Black Music Mouth, Happy Black Music Month, Happy Juneteenth again. You are welcome. Now let's get into the show. So today, friends and ken, we are gonna hit on a few things. One Juneteenth is coming. If you listen to this on the fifteenth, which you

may or you may not. I don't really know. But if you do, Juneteenth is coming. If you don't, Juneteenth has passed. And either when you look at it, that's exciting, right or is it exciting? I'm curious to know are black people still excited about Juneteenth now that it is a federal all of day. Second, I want to talk about being intentional, about black joy and about joy period and how important it is to be intentional, and also how black joy is like pure fucking magic, like absolutely,

it's just pure magic. Third, I want to talk about the fact that it is time for the handing my first gratitude challenge and we are about to get big things popping. Do you remember when people used to say that, I don't think they say big things popping no more. Well, I wanted to say it, so I did. But just know that I don't usually say that. I'm not that late, but I wanted to say it today. It felt good. I felt it in my bones. But anyway, first, let's

talk to you in tea. And I'm gonna go ahead and just jump out and say, let's talk Juneteenth, and let's talk about black folks need for white validation. Yeah, I said the ship. I said it, and let's just be honest. Part of the reason, let's talk about the reason that this even became a holiday in the first place. In twenty twenty, there were some really major cases of violence against black people that made the news a maud,

excuse me, a very Brianna Taylor, George Floyd. Personally, I feel like the following year, Juneteenth was like a form of reconciliation. It was a it was a form of an apology, signing that holiday into becoming a federal holiday. And while it is kind and it is nice, and thank you Joseph Biden, President Biden for that, so nice, so very nice, I just feel like it was like a band aid. So okay, great, we get a day off,

but it was still a band aid. And the truth of the matter is that I could have done without it. I was okay with Juneteenth being like our thing, and now it's everybody's thing. So I also feel like it became so I feel like it became a holiday out of one white guilt, but also I feel like it became a holiday, in my opinion, as a result of our desire to be validated by white people in America. The very people who put laws into place refuting our

value as humans. President Joe Biden last year in the Proclamation of the Signing of the Observance of Juneteenth, he said the following, and I quote some thirty proclaims that weeping mandure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Juneteenth marks both the long, hard night of slavery and discrimination and the promise of a brighter morning to come. My administration is committed to building an economy and a nation that brings everyone along and finally delivers our nation's

founding promise to Black Americans. Together, we will lay the roots of real and lasting justice so that we can become the extraordinary country that was promised to all Americans. Juneteenth not only commemorates the past, it calls us to action today. End quote. That was very nice, and it was nicely stated, and whoever wrote it, shout out to you because it sounds good. And I wish that you guys could see the side eye that I'm giving in this moment, because to me, all of this shit sounds really,

really really good on paper. However, we all know, based on the nightly news in your local city and my city, that's Baltimore and we are talking major crime over here, buddy. Or if you live outside of the US and you just happen to watch CNN and look at the news for the US of A, you'll see exactly what I mean. I mean, don't girl. I appreciate the effort. I do, I really do. I'm not even you know, bullshit, nor you know, trying to like fake it. But I do

think that the gesture is nice. I think that what he said was nice. I really appreciate the effort, and it's so very kind of the government to do this for us. It's so very very nice of the government. But the truth of the matter is we didn't really need this holiday. And that's real shit, because the question for me is what is the motivation behind it? To a piece who like, realistically, Juneteenth was like our little

black secret. To tell the truth, it was a secret to some black people too, because some black people didn't even know about it, but it was ours. I oftentimes get so frustrated when I see things that are hours like giving out to the world for them to partake of. Case in point, videos on YouTube on how to corn row or how to braid hair. Granted, I'm sure they help black people. I'm sure, I'm sure they do. But

like some stuff, we just need to keep. Some stuff just needs to be ours, you know what I mean. Some things just belong to us and we should just hold them dear and near and close and tight to our bosom, because there are things that our ancestors gave us and gifted to us, and we don't need to share them with everyone else. I don't think anything is wrong with that. So June teenth, like I said, was

our little secret. It belonged to us, and now it's everybody's, and let the record reflect everybody doesn't deserve our June teenth.

Don't get me wrong. It is amazing that my people are being acknowledge for our own hidden stay, our own day that is documented as a day of freedom for enslaved Africans and descendants of Africans that were brought to this country by way of kidnapping against their own will, enforced into labor, and that now the nation will be forced to acknowledge that there should be a celebration regarding that document that documented, excuse me, and of the enslavement

of black people in this country. It's amazing. I think it's great. I didn't say that they will accept it, but they at least have to acknowledge it. As it is now a federal holiday, they have to acknowledge that it exists. Exists. Excuse me, it's so very nice. However, personally, this means nothing in the grand scheme of our success as a people. Having this holiday is not going to stop white supremacists from going into supermarkets, predominantly black supermarkets

in Buffalo and shooting up black people. It's not going to stop white supremacists from going into churches and shooting up black people. It's not going to stop the violent attacks of racism against black people. It's not going to stop injustice. It's not gonna stop discrimination in the workplace. It's not gonna stop passive aggressive microaggressions at work. It's not going to stop those videos from popping up on social media where white women are zapping out in stores

and accusing black men of doing things like. Those things aren't going to stop because we have this holiday. So just let us keep the holiday. We don't need a day off, And to be really honest, if we want to take the day off, we take the goddamn y'all, and here here's the here's the kicker, here's the real Funky cole Medina. What why did I say that? You know, first of all, do not laugh at me, laugh with me,

because Funky Comadina was a good fucking song. Some of you may not even know what the hell funky cole Medina is. Funky Comadina was a song that came out in the nineties and it was fucking amazing. Shout out the tone, look Shout out to the West coast, Shout out to LA. If you don't know funky Comadina, go listen to it. I still, to this day don't really know what funky cold Medina is. Why didn't the world

is that? I digress people? But like I was saying, if you haven't heard already, there are a few white owned organizations that are already trying to capitalize on black dollars as usual. It's the history of this nation, for God's sake, by getting Juneteenth trademarks for products that of course will be bought up and purchased by black people for shame, for shame people. But realistically, who is shocked by this behavior? Not me, not ever, I do understand

the desire to want our people's documented freedom. Notice how it keeps saying documented documented freedom to be acknowledged and celebrated by the entire country. But really, why do we want everyone to celebrate when they aren't even really happy about it in the first place. You know, we've been fighting, steel fighting to this day. Let me keep it real clear. I don't really want anybody celebrating with me that doesn't really want my people to be free, and I mean

fully free. And what do I mean by that? Let your imagination run whatever being fully free is to you. If there's anybody who doesn't want me to be fully free based on what my imagination takes me to when it comes to freedom for black people, I don't want you fucking celebrating with me. Specifically, I don't want you fucking celebrating with me on the day in which my ancestors celebrate and commemorate the fact that they were given

gifted if you will documented freedom, Okay? You know, sometimes I wonder, like, what would a world be like for black people? What would it look like if we didn't seek out the validation of other people. We would have secrets that we keep tucked in our bosom. We wouldn't feel the need to showcase our excellence and our wondrousness and our gifts, our God given gifts, just for approval from outsiders. We wouldn't feel the need to shuck and jive.

And I've been seeing shock and drive a lot lately, the stuff and go all out in so many different ways just to show that we are just as good, or that we are equal, or that we are worthy of great things, or you know, in some people's eyes, the same things that other people have, other people being the people who have fundamentally oppressed Black people in this country, because truthfully, the need for approval is really rooted in issues of self worth, which would make sense seeing as

though we have been socially conditioned to believe that we are less than and that we are inferior. And truthfully, all of the hard work and all of the focused determination that has been put into oppressed in black people in America results oftentimes in US attempting to show others, Hey, look at this amazing thing I can do. Remember Mad TV, Look what I can do. Stuhurt. Remember Stewart. Some of y'all may never remember stuartbt. I know some of y'all do.

Stewart shout out to Stewart and shout out to Miss Swan, I miss her. But whatever, look at this amazing thing I can do. Look at how wonderful we are. We're great, We're black, We're awesome. Look at we are phenomenal. See look at us, look at us when really what we really need to do is look inward and say these things to ourselves, pray, give thanks to our ancestors and say them to them, share them with our children, and

teach them to do the same things for themselves. To see the wonder and the beauty and the greatness that excellence, the fucking amazing, the absolute amazingness that exists in being black. We don't need to seek validation from anybody. We could have kept Juneteenth of us thing and kept it close

to our bosom. We could have kept it. Ain't that wrong with keeping it because now something that our ancestors created to celebrate their emancipation or their not being under the hold of forced slavery, forced enslavement, now it will be subject to being devoured by the need for capital gain, and not even by us. That's that's the real fucked up part. I'm gonna go ahead and stop because what's done is done. However, just keep that in the back of your mind. Okay, I want Black people to stop

seeking validation from an outside source. I want Black people to look inside and look inward and figure out what it is that you need to fill yourself with that sense of approval and be well with you, be well with us, with who we are, where we come from, what we have endured, who we are now, what we are now, have hope and feel promised for our future because we are who we are. It's gonna be what

it's gonna be. And then the words of the good young prophet Kendrick Lamar, We're gonna be all right at the end of the day. Like you know, I said this before. We are the descendants of the Africans that were forced, kidnapped and forced and let's be clear, okay, that we're offered up for money by other Africans and forced to come here and endure the oppression and justice and enslavement at the hands of Europeans. But we are the descendants of the people who lived through that. I

said this before on a previous episode. We are the fucking descendants of the people who made it through the Middle passage. I don't think you really get that when you sit in that ship, like when you sit in it, we are the byproduct of the people that lived through it. Do you understand what is in our bones? Do you understand what it is in our dna? Man? Please? What we're gonna be okay? We don't already went through the

worst part. I fully believe that it can. And I think that if collective we really looked at it like this, it can only be up from here because we have already been literally into the belly of hell. We've already been in the belly of hell, and we came out that motherfucker. Excuse my French, and you know I use a lot of French words on here, but we made we made it out. We are the descendants of the people who made it out of the belly of the beasts. Literally,

we're gonna be okay. Does that mean it's gonna be perfect? Hell? Now? But we're gonna be okay. And and that's it. I'm gonna get off this soapbox, man, because I feel like I'm about to preach a word. The one thing that I am really excited about with this Juneteenth Surge and this whole federal holiday thing is that so many more black folks are getting into celebrating the day. Who amongst us, friends and Kim will be doing something for Juneteenth this year.

I am very excited to say that my family will be celebrating big this year. It's gonna be a whole literation over here. Red foods will be everywhere, Black joy will be everywhere, gratitude will be everywhere. Oh yeah, speaking of black joy, what does that look like for you? Like? What does that mean to you? What is black joy? For you? Joy by definition is a feeling of great pleasure or happiness. For me, joy is something I am

extremely intentional about. Why Because with the way the world is set up, if we are not intentional about our joy, we will end up with lived experiences wherein we are cloaked in the opposite of joy. There's a poem that I came across. It is written by black woman and it's entitled joy is an Act of Resistance. I would add on to that that black joy is an intentional act of resistance. Inside note, let me digress for one second.

Good friends, I recognize that I didn't talk about the significance of red foods for Juneteenth, But I did as I stated that I would put the link to the very interesting and informative article that I read in the show notes. Go read it. My apologies, but my spirit took me in a different direction. Sometimes something that I'm learning is that we have to be like water and

just flow back to our regularly scheduled program. As I was saying black joy, I would say that black joy is an intentional act of resistance, a radical, intentional act of resistance. Sometimes I wonder how in the hell is it that black people manage to stay so full of joy?

And we are joyfull? Do you understand me? For all of the sadness, to anger, the rage, of the disappointment, the violence and the downright evil that we encounter every day and that we live through every day and that we have to navigate through every day, we still find ways to feel and share our joy, not just with one another but with the world. And that, my friends, an Ken, is fucking phenomenal to me. I don't get it, But guess what, I don't even care. I'm just glad

that I'm a part of it. And I know that other people are wondering how the fuck do they do that. Let me tell you something, under no circumstances do I not believe that there is a correlation between us being the descendants of the people who made it out of the Middle Passage and us having so much joy. I'm telling you it's in our bones. I'm telling you, in

the marrow of our bones. There is that special sauce that everybody tries to replicate but you can't because you didn't your ancestor that living a belly at the beast, And it just says so much about our bones to me, our resilience are innate warrior spirits. We are warriors, man. Speaking of which, Warriors come out to play a I don't really follow basketball that much. Yes, I am doing another side note, but out the Warriors when the series.

I used to be a big time Celtics fan, but I am not not anymore, not for any reason, but well for a reason Paul Pierce no longer plays with the Celtics, so I'm not a big Warrior fan. I mean such a sense. But anyway, go Warriors. Shout out to my uncle Al, who is a big Warriors fan. And that is really why I'm rooting for the Warriors.

Because of my uncle Al who loves the warriors. I'm sorry I digress yet again as I was saying, it's a part of our innate warrior spirits, spirit warrior spirits, no Mimi war or your spirit and or spirits, our ability to take the energy of pure evil and still be able to smile and to shine and be smothered in joy. That's the secret that we will never share with anybody else because I don't even think we understand it, and I don't think it's meant to be understood. What's

that saying? Say that which is understood does not need to be explained. We don't need to explain it, and I don't need anybody to explain it to me. I don't need to understand it. I just know that it is. We don't get that shit ourselves, and that's fine too. Just basking the glow of the joy, that black joy, Just basking it and just continue to be joyful because we deserve it. Is our birthright. It's our birthright to feel joy every day. We deserve that, and we deserve it.

Dare I say a little more than everybody else the world owes us fucking joy every day of our black ass lives to be filled up with raw, pure, uncut elation. And we know that nobody is going to give it to us nor help us get to the joy. Ain't nobody helping us get to the joy. But it is our duty to be intentional about seeking out means of experiencing joy every damn day. Put that in your plan or writing in your planner seek joy today, set a reminder in your phone, seek joy. Being intentional is a

form of power. Use your power to infuse more joy into your life. Not only your life, use power to infuse more joy into other people's lives. And I would say this, if you need help on find us some joy, go to social media. And I don't really direct people to social media, but go to social media. It's so many fun, happy, joyful black moments on social media if you go to the right places. TikTok is a great place to start. They have dances, they have babies, they

have pets, they have inspirational conversations. Go seek the shit out and be authentic about it. Don't subscribe to that fake it till you make it shit, because that's bullshit. When it comes to your intentional happiness, you can't fake it. Till you make it. Nah, Nope, doesn't work that way, because then it's not real. Then it's synthetic joy. And we all know that anything synthetic is not gonna be good unless we are getting our hair braided. Then we

want some synthetic hair. But otherwise synthetic is not the it's not the move. Go to TikTok and look up some dance challenges, some travel videos, some cooking videos, some reviews on restaurants. Some babies. Look for the babies. I'm telling you, the babies bring me the joy big time. They bring big time joy. You're guaranteed to find some

joyful black folks. You're gonna find some black folks smiling, laughing, having a good time, hanging with their friends, living it up and looking good, feeling good, and emitting nothing but joyful energy, I promise. And that is an easy way to be intentional about your joy. You seek it out, You take your power and you seek it out. A really easy way to do that is to be grateful, Be intentionally grateful. And how do we go about doing that? Me?

Me is what you're asking, Well, I thought you never ask. One way is by joining me for the handing my first Gratitude Challenge, which starts today, and by today I mean June fifteenth. Today is June fifteenth if you're listening on the first day that this episode comes out, and today is the first day of the party. Technically it's not June fifteenth, of course, but when this episode was released, it will be June fifteenth. And this is the way

the Gratitude Challenge works. From June fifteenth to July twenty ninth, we will be intentional about gratitude every single day. We will be focusing on gratitude daily, writing down four to eight things every single day that you are grateful for.

You can use a notebook, a journal, post its and put them in a jar or in a box, and desk cards, put them in a stack, a notebook if you excuse me, a notepad if you like, or if you refuse to write them down, or so busy in your very busy, busy, busy life that you can't find the time to write four to eight sentences at some point in your day, you can use the note app in your phone or on your tablet and write it that way. You just want to be able to keep track of them every day for the forty four days

of the challenge. Let model the way for you. Follow me, why don't you. Here's what I'm gonna be doing. Let's pretend that I am doing my entry for the day. Here's an example. I'm going to get my post its out because I like using posts and putting them in a clear jar so that I can see my progress. I'm intentional about that because it shows me that I'm moving along in the challenge. I like the way that the colorful posts look in the clear jar, and it

makes it easy to transfer for them. For me, at the end of the challenge, I'm going to write the following, and this is real. If this would be my entry for the day, this is how it would read today. I am grateful for semi colon or colon. It's colon. I think today I'm grateful for colon, my co workers, laughing with my bestie, my ancestors, Remmy Martin Vsop champagne vodka. It's not vodka ONNAC chocolate chip ice cream. And that would just be my entry. That's it doesn't have to

be complicated. It's nothing like very out of this world. It's very simple. I wrote one, two, three, four, five, things, my coworkers, laughing with my bestie, my ancestors, Remy Martin, VP BSOP, Cognac, and chocolate, your ice cream. I would then fold up the post it note and place it in the jar that I used to keep my entries. This is a serious act of intention. It's a way for you to grab a hold of your power and use it for the greater good of your own life.

And I'm telling you this shit is infectious. And it also is self regulating, because when you start to like have negative thoughts or complain, it'll just after a while, you will, like I said, you'll self regulating. You'll stop complaining. You'll be like you know such as such. You'll start complaining, Oh my foot hurts. But you know what, I got shoes on my feet and I can buy myself my own shoes. I'm grateful for that. It really helps to shift your life and it's a great way for you

to grab hold of your own power. And I really hope that you guys join me for the Gratitude Challenge. Like it's life shifting, Like it's really amazing and really amazing. Shit happens as a result of choosing to intentionally focus on what is wonderful in your life? Already? We don't choose the hand that life deals us. However, we do have the power to choose how we play the hand. We choose how we play the game. We can choose to be intentional about finding joy, and it can start

with being appreciative for what we already have. There's so much beauty and what we have. If we take the time to be still and really look at and examine our life, it's our choice to be grateful. Therefore, it is our choice to seek joy and find moments of happiness. Because truthfully, what's the alternative, like, and when you sit in that statement alone, like, what is the alternative to

not being intentional about your joy? It's about being it's it's it's being intentional about your sorrow, and who the fuck wants to do that? That's bosom material right there. Those are Boso moves. So the question is what are you going to choose today? Are you going to choose to be intentional about seeking joy and intentional about being grateful for what you are blessed with? Or are you going to be intentional about all the fucked up shit

that's going on? Don't be aboso. Friends, you deserve better, all right, So friends and can for today's straight fact question, we have a question from a guy today, and that is so awesome. I love when a gentleman, a gentleman friend, or a gentleman caller, or a gentleman listener, or a gentleman friend and ken write in or call in. This time, he called in and I or left the message and I had to transcribe it. I did the best that I could. So let's get into this question. Why don't we?

It says here, I went on a date with this woman a few months ago. It seemed like a good date. It was our first date. We went to PF Chains. I didn't know that people, so I didn't know that people still went to PF chains, But I guess they do because they're still open anyway. You know, normally with first dates, you typically do an hour or two. While we were there for four hours. We had really good

conversation station laughing and joking. It was a really good time, or at least I assumed it was a good time. She seemed like she was having a good time genuinely, unless she is like an extremely good actress. Just so you know, brother, women are really good actresses. Anyway, I thought we really hit it off. We were in touch a few days later, like texting mostly. Then all of a sudden, it was radio silence by so I reached out to her and asked her, is everything all right?

Is everything cool? Because you know, I understand that sometimes shit be happening in life, be lifing. Just a side note, I love that I love life be lifing. Anyway, moving on well. In her response, she was kind of vague and kind of blew me off, saying we'll talk about it or something like that, and we never talked about it. It was just like nothing ever happened from that stick to the game. From what I can tell, she seems to be living her best life on social media because

we are still social media friends. Her life seems to be pretty normal, and it's like we never really got back to that. Like I said, we're still friends on social media and we still text one another from time to time. I feel like that was kind of weird, seeing that we had such a great time. Now that she owes me anything or anything like that, but it was just really weird to me. I have moved on

and it's not something that haunts me. I just think it's really interesting and I'm not sure what to make of it. Andrew from Upstate New York. Oh, Andrew, I know men have a hard time with this, but maybe she just wasn't that into you, because like I said, women are really good actresses. It could be a myriad of situation. So, first of all, I'm sorry that this

happened to you, because this is kind of awkward. But at least, first and foremost, she didn't have has the decency to not ghost you, because a lot of times that's what happens. And I'm not going to say it's what guys do, because women ghost dudes too. But at least she thought enough of you not to ghost you.

But it could be a myriad of things. One, she could just be biding time, you know, she could just be biding time in limbo in a situationship with somebody else and just kind of using you as a filler. Like here in Baltimore, crab cakes are very big here. People use different kind of binders and fillers to hold the crab cake together or to fill in the holes so that you just don't have a bunch of lump

crab meat in a crab cake, it'll fall apart. So you could have been the breadcrumbs or the crackers in her crab cake. Just fill in the space. Another thing is I mean this is kind of connected. But she maybe she was on the rebound, Maybe she just got out of a relationship and she's like, I'm just going to date all of the dudes. I'm gonna go on all of the day and I'm just gonna see which ones work. Kind of like I'm gonna just throw all this shit against the wall and whatever stick sticks. And

maybe you didn't stick for her. She could have just wanted to free dinner because people be doing that women women definitely, chicks definitely be doing that. They want a dinner. I can't really see where she would want to do that for PF changs, you know, not being you know, Saditi or anything. But like sis, if you can't buy your own dinner at PF chains, like in the words of the girls at Bella No Chase, then where in

the hell can you go? Okay, if you can't baby your own free dinner at PF Chains, then says you don't need to be going out eating, So I'm gonna just go ahead and say that maybe that wasn't it and hope that that wasn't it. Another option is maybe

she just didn't like you. It's a possibility that maybe she just really didn't like you enough to want to date you, and maybe she had a good time, or maybe she just wasn't really into you and just wanted to be polite during dinner, or maybe she thought you were funny during dinner, but it was like, I don't really want to date dude, Like I don't. It's not sticking to the wall if you get what I'm saying, or just flat out here's here's the thing that I

think that people overlook oftentimes in these situations. Maybe she just changed her mind, you know, maybe she just said, you know what, I don't want to do this. Nah, she could have just changed her mind. And I actually have a great suggestion for you. If you want to figure it out, ask her. Just ask her if you want to know, Just ask her with anything in life, if you want to freaking know, just ask now. If you don't really care, then just flush it down the

toilet and keep it moving. But I will say, if you guys are still cool. You guys are on social media and if enough time has passed, just ask her, like, whatever happened we went out. I thought we had a good time, and you know, you said we would address you know, we would talk about, you know, whatever it is that you said you would talk about, and we never did, and you kind of just left me hanging, and I was just wondering, like what was that about?

Like no pressure, no stress. Whenever I'm talking to a guy and it's like how do I say this? And I want him to understand, like it's really no pressure, my guy, Like I'm just trying to get some clarity. I always let them know like it's no pressure or no stress. Sometimes guys don't respond to that. Well. I don't know if depending on what type of woman and

she is, how she will respond to that. But the truth of the matter is that, like I respect people who are mature enough to say, hey, you said this or you acted this way, it made me feel this way. I just want to get some clarity about what happened, because you never really followed up with me about X y Z. And no, she doesn't owe you anything, but if she considers you a friend, or if she has any compassion, or she's an adult, a mature adults, she'll say,

you know, I apologize. I should have, you know, been a little more direct or I should have been a little more clear. You know, I just got out of a relationship with somebody and I just wanted to go out to get my mind off at him. You know, it's that simple that because that's what mature adults do. So good luck, Andrew. I hope that you get the clarity that you need. If you don't really need any clarity, don't go to PF changs anymore. Don't take women to

PF changs. I'm just joking. If you like PF chanks, go to PF changs, but maybe just don't go there because it didn't work out for you. And that's not got no, no, no, no no, just the pfjangs. If they want to sponsor my podcast, I would happily tell people about how awesome they are. I just need to go back. I think they have really good lettuce wraps chicken lettuce wraps. Yeah, they do, they do, so I would talk about that if they want to sponsor him

me my purse, but I don't really go there. Why so friends in Kent Today's quote for though we Gotta Do Better segment. It's from a book that Toronto Burke and Brene Brown collaborated on together entitled You Are Your Best Thing. And the quote is from a woman named Tanya Denise Fields. And the quote is as follows, I

embraced joy as my birthright. Radical black joy is inherent as a human need and not some special trinket you get after you rise high enough on the social economic ladder or unlock some special level of desirability or accomplishment. It's just pause for a second, we'll read it one more time. I embraced joy as my birthright. Radical black joy is inherent as a human need and not some special trinket you get after you rise high enough on the social economic ladder or unlock some special level of

desirability or accomplishments. And that is a quote from Tanya Denise Fields and You Are Your Best Thing. It's pretty deep too, if you really when you talk about respectability, politics and the black community, like, let all of that shit go and just be happy because it's your birthright to be happy. You don't earn the right to be happy. You don't earn the right to have joy. You don't earn the right to live a peaceful, joyful life. It's

your birthright. You don't get it because you get a degree, or because you have a certain amount of money, or because you have the achieved the American dream. It's your fucking birthright to feel and experience all of those things. Friends, incame First things First, I papa freaks, all the honeys, dummies, playboy bunnies, those wanting money. Sorry, I digress. The first thing I want to do is thank God, because well

we already know how this goes. God is supreme, and I recognize and appreciate the grace and mercy and understanding that God extends to me every single day in my black ass life. I am grateful for myself. I'm grateful for my hard work, for my consistency, from my resilience, from my determined nation, for my perseverance, for my integrity, but most of all, for not giving up all myself, for not giving up on me. I am so grateful for me, for not giving up on me. Listen, that's

a testimony right there. Showing gratitude for me is a form of self care. Showing gratitude for you, You You, Showing gratitude for you is a form of self care. And here and hand Me My Birth of the podcast. We are all about self care. I am thankful for you, my friends and family, my friends and ken, my supporters, and of course and most importantly every one of you out there listening. I love you, guys, to the end of the moon. To the edge of the moon. I

wonder what is on the edge of the moon. And if it is cheese, what kind of cheese is it? Because if it go it is goat cheese. If it is, in fact goat cheese, I am open to go in there and stay for a couple of days. As I was saying, I love all of you guys, to the edge of the goat cheese moon. And it is an honor, a privilege, and a blessing for me to share my time and my energy with you, especially if you decide to keep coming back and listening again and again and again.

I can't wait till we get to do this again. Now, do not forget that today if you're listening on June fifteenth. On June the fifteenth, we start the second installation of the Hand Me My Perth Gratitude Challenge. It will start on June fifteenth and It will run until July twenty ninth. It is forty four days, and each day we are going to write down four to eight things that we are grateful for. If you want to go over eight, go for it. I can tell you round about day

number six or seventh that gets old. But if you have of the focus and the patients and the time to do so, go for it. But for forty four days, June the fifteenth to July twenty ninth, we are going to write down four to eight things that we are

grateful for every single day. I've already gone over earlier in the episode and in the last episode and in episode number forty four exactly what you can do, the options that you have for documenting this, the reason that you document it, and most importantly, the purpose of the

Gratitude Challenge. So please, please, please please join us, because I can promise you that the results in the outcome of doing this challenge, like it's amazing, Like you don't even realize the things that will come out of it. And if you don't believe me, listen to episode number thirty seven. I think it's thirty seven. It's definitely thirty seven.

It's the season three opener. Oh yeah, Now before you go, I want you to stop for a second and before you exit out of whatever streaming service you are using to listen to this, I would love for you to stop for a moment, like I said, And if you haven't already done so, look for the subscribe or follow button click on it. If that is in fact the option on the streaming service where you are listening, then I want you to go on over to Instagram and

follow me at hand Me My Purse Underscore podcast. You can also follow me on Twitter at HMMP Underscore Podcasts, and on Facebook just search for hand Me My Purse. The podcast show notes are always available at hand Me My Purse dot buzzsprout dot com and they're also available on whatever streaming service that you are using to listen.

And it should always include the links that I say I'm going to include during the episode, and sometimes it's even some extras that I don't mention that I'm going to put in there, so just make sure you check those out. Also, just an fyi, the opening and closing music is provided by none other than What's Baltimore's own very talented gloomy Tunes. If you would love too, and

I would love it if you did. Please submit your questions for the straight fact segment to Hello at hand Me My Purse dot com or send me a DM on Instagram or Twitter. Who knows your question may be featured on an upcoming show. And I don't ever want you to forget. You can expect a brand new episode of hand Me My Purse the podcast on the first and fifteenth of every single month, so the same way you expected those checks on the first and the fifteenth

early in the morning. You already know your girl is gonna have you covered on those days again the first and fifteenth of every month on your podcast streaming services such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher. These are for my international friends and ken and anywhere else you may even think that you can find it, or you can just go straight to my bus route website and find it there. I look forward to you, looking forward to listening, and I'm out this bitch.