No. 37: SEASON THREE PREMIERE + Gratitude Challenge Reflection + Hello 2022.

a good time. What's up, what's up? What's up? Friends and kin? Happy New Year, Happy two twenty two. Boom ma'am oh bow. The new year is well underway. By the time you hear this, if you listen to it on the day that it is released, or at least the week that it's released, we are well into the new year. We're halfway through the first month of the new year, which is kind of crazy to say, because it seemed like New Year's Eve was just yesterday, but

it wasn't. Happy New Year, my friends and kin, we're here. It's twenty twenty two. Let's thank God or the universe or the head of cabbage or the eucalyptus leaf, whatever it is you give praise to. Let's give thanks for seeing another year. Twenty twenty only twenty one. They were interesting years, and now we're on to twenty twenty two. And all we can do is keep it moving, right, don't need to dwell in the past, and you know, sit and sulk. Let's just keep it moving because life

is always happening. So it's none other than your resident Anti Supreme here and hand me my purse, Mimi Walker. And today I am sipping on a new canned cocktail that I found, and it is a poloma by a brand called Kazadores. And a poloma look it up. I'm not telling you what a poloma is. Just look it up. But it's grapefruit, its tequila, it's seltzer. It's delicious, and it's really good. And it was almost impossible for me

to find the damn nutrition facts on this cocktail. But if I'm not mistaken, I think it's about one hundred and eighty calories. And for the kid, that's a bit too much for canned cocktail for me, so needless to say. As much as I enjoyed this one, it's a note for me, dog I prefer personally to keep my canned cocktails at about one hundred and twenty five calories or less. However, let me tell you, if you are not focused on caloric tracking, try it. Even if you are focused on

caloric tracking, try it anyway. It's okay to try it. Give yourself some grace. Moderation is the key. It is really really really good though, And just to be very clear, the shit is delicious, like I said, but usually the more calories that usually means the more deliciousness that you're going to have. It's really really good. It's a little sweet, which I should have known that. You know, when I drink can cocktails, I'm not expecting a whole lot of sweetness,

and it is a little sweet. But it's really really really good, So try it out. Casadores Paloma they also make, if I'm not mistaken, a classic margharita and a Rustic spicy Margharita. I know that the Rustic Spicy margharita is one hundred and seventy five calories, so I think that I'm done. You know, I'm I'm gonna go ahead back to my truly or my deep Eddie canned cocktails, because they're like one hundred calories a piece or one twenty five. But this jump was real good. So if you ain't

worried about calories, trust me, try it. Now. Let's go ahead and get this party started. So friends and ken for today's jam. Initially, I had another song selected and I'm going to give it honorable mention and I'll probably even link it in the show notes because I listened to this song about thirty times the other night and it just made me think about high school. As most of you know from listening to the show. I went to high school in California and I have a very

you know, eclectic taste in music. And there was a song that of my classmates hipped me to. It was a song called come On Eileen, and it's the original version like it's old, it's old, and if I'm not mistaken, it's an old SKA song. If you don't know what sky is, look it up Ska. And there was a band in the band's name was Save Ferris like Ferris Bueller, Ferris Wheel. And I love the version by say Ferris like I love it. I love to sing it one day. Maybe I'll sing it in a karaoke jammy jam like

a Karrie at a karaoke bar or something. But I really liked the song a lot, and so that was gonna be the song. But I am a fan of this artist. Her name is Amber Mark, and she has a lot of songs that I like. I love her voice is very infectious. I am actually a fan of someone who has a voice that is easily identifiable, like a voice that doesn't sound like someone else's, and her voice is like that to me. And she has a

song that was released. I don't know if it's old or it's new, but the title of the song is worth It, and that is the gym for this episode. The reason that I decided to choose this song versus the safe fair song is because when I heard it, I am a creative Okay, So when things are animal libra, So when things look, when I see beauty, when I hear beauty, when I taste something that is pleasingto my senses, or I touch something that feels really soft or really abrasive,

you know, I'm really tuned into my senses. Like it kind of like takes over me. And when I heard this song, I ended up listening to this song on repeat about fifteen to twenty times as well. When I heard it and I started to listen to the lyrics, and I said, what a great song to start the new year off in terms of on my show, What a great energy, what a great message to put out for the first episode of twenty twenty two. And so

the jam, like I said, is by Ambermark. It is called worth It and let me share the lyrics with you, or just a little smidge of the lyrics, of course, and the show notes you will find a link to the song so that you can listen to it yourself. And I'm also going to put a link to the safe Ferris Come on Eileen song as well, because you deserve to listen to that too. Easier said than done trying to be the one. It's so hard to not

be hard on yourself. How do they all believe? I can't even see the belief that I had way back then. I know that you get so used to it, always living in regret. Your dreams never left your head. But when you talk to me, I can see the light shining so bright that it is blinding. Just let it out. Oh, I know you feel it, that automatic shift in your spine, darkness. You have seen it heavy on the heart. Look to the light or release the feeling. It'll send you out

to space. Nothing like your happiness. Oh, open up the ceiling. You think you don't deserve it, but you are so damn worth it. Baby, you think you don't deserve it, but you are so damn worth it. You think you don't deserve it, but you are so worth it. We've all got that feeling. I can see you hurting. You don't think you deserve it, but baby, you are worth it. Just open up the ceiling. Come on, let the love in,

because baby, you are worth it. Now let's get into the show, friends, and can before we get into this discussion with the amazing young ladies that I talked to today, I just want to say happy New Year. I'm grateful for you guys, and I hope and pray that your year has started off on the good foot. And if by chance it did not, just remember that your thoughts and your words are much more powerful than you could

ever imagine. So think positive thoughts even in times of despair, even when things look real shitty, think positively, find a way to turn the narrative around, and all that requires is just to shift the way that you think. Let twenty twenty two be an amazing year for us all. I can't wait to see what twenty twenty two brings. I love you all, and let's go ahead and get into this conversation about the Gratitude challenge that we did

in November and December, friends and Ken. I am here today with you guys to share with you some of my friends and Ken that actually participated in the Atitude challenge that we had last year. It sounds weird saying last year because it's only not even two weeks into the new year. But the Gratitude Challenge that we did from November eleventh, which was eleven eleven until twelve to twenty five, which was forty four days, that's a long time to be grateful. But we really should be grateful

every day. And so some of these ladies I know. Some of them I know because they listen to the show. Some of them I know because I know them in person. And one is like a total nubie. I don't know her at all, but I know her now and I'm

excited about it. It's going to be not a big conversation because usually when I have group conversations, just like twenty five people on but today it's just five of us, and I like that because it offers the opportunity for us to have a much more intimate conversation and a much more authentic conversation. So I want you, ladies to go around and introduce yourselves. I want you to however you see fit to introduce yourself. I'm not going to put those parameters on you and tell you I want

your name, your age, and your favorite ice cream. Nope. Just however you choose to introduce yourself, go for it. But I would like for you to tell me what you are drinking, and I will share what I'm drinking. Or does anyone else want to start? I can start? Okay, go for it. I knew it was gonna be you. So my name is Essence Nelson and okay, what's the government name? Says? Well, you know, I'm not sure of what my name really is. But that is not today's topic.

We'll go into that. Um. All right, when women marry and their whole identity changes, all right, that's another topic. Well, clearly you just made it one. It's a topic. Um so yeah, so that is who I am. And tonight I am drinking my favorite wine. It's a Saint Michael's golly Wobbler. My favorite vine is run that back chief Saint Michael's golly wa blur, Yes, what does that mean? Like? What kind of wine is it? For us? Who don't? Who wants to go next? Um? I'll go. My name

is Angel, I'm an Ubi. Hi Angel, welcome, Thank you. I actually I found out about your podcast through my best friend Tess. Oh yes, best friend, God bless your child. Conversation for another day. I'm her best friend, and she told me about the Gratitude Challenge and I came in it on the latter end of it, but I was able to participate from December first through the twenty five awesome. Awesome, awesome. So tell me what you're drinking, so don't be disappointed

in me. But I'm drinking water. That is not a disappointment. That means that you care about your skin, your liver, your kidneys, your blood. Well, you know, I am taking a couple of days to take it easy. Now, normally I would probably have a glass of wine or I would probably have crown or some type of with dear bourbon, i'd be drinking something. But I'm drinking and that is good Tomorrow. It's totally okay. I don't judge over here, like sometimes I don't. I don't drink alcohol every show either,

like I don't. I don't. Sometimes I drink water with lemon, sometimes I drink jasmine green tea, and then sometimes I drink shots of tequila. So it really just depends on how I feel what kind of tequila. I'm not really picky, Like I'm not one of those people who are like, I don't drink that because it doesn't go down smooth.

I don't really care. Alcohol is disgusting realistically, Like it's not delicious until somebody, like somebody else who's on this show, who I think should go last, until that person puts their sparkles on it. Realistically, like pure alcohol is not tasty if people don't drink it, it's perfectly fine, because it's not that awesome to taste unless you add a whole bunch of crap to it. The tequila that I have in my kitchen now is from Costco, and I say it with pride and I don't care who doesn't

like it. It actually is pretty smooth. It's not um, it doesn't taste like grain alcohol, and it's pretty smooth. I was actually surprised. Somebody brought it to me one day in a very large bottle and I was like, what am I supposed to do with this? And I said, I'll just keep it here for when people come. But it makes damn good margueritas, I'll tell you that much. I didn't even know Costco sol tequila. I think it's Cosla. Yeah,

Costco Costco has alcohol and it's pretty good. So that is the kind of tequila that I am drinking now. But typically I would have Querbo. I'm a fan of Quervo silver. I need you to get into some Espolone blanco. Okay, well you can introduce me to change it. I don't know, but yeah, drink tequila often. Well you sound it sounds like you're a dark girl. Like you like dark one. Yeah, that's what being older is about. Knowing your body and honoring your body even when you may not be making

the best choices for your body. And hard, Okay, it is hard. Wow? Okay, all right, well then there's that next go next. Okay, I'm Fatima and I'm drinking water. I'm also drinking water. I actually don't drink alcohol, never drank alcohol before in my life. God bless you you are. You are a saint and someone that you're no wait a minute now, say you were an angel I said you were a saint for not drinking. That is amazing and that is great. Yeah, it's a really, it's a

religious for religious purposes. So okay, I'm Muslim, so never drank alcohol before. That's yes, it is. I'll be knowing. I'll be knowing. Yes. I only know what I know because of Angelica. And that's how I found your podcast actually randomly and alive and I just clicked it, and you guys who were just having such a great time. I was like, who is this lady? And then there she said that you have a podcast, said she has a podcast. I must listen, and I was ever since

and yeah, Angelica is my boom. Angelica and I have been friends for a long long She's like my big sister. She is my big sister. I love her to pieces. Angelica. I talk about her all the time on the show. Her name is the Village. The Village Auntie on Instagram. Please go find her and let her life be changed. I am blessed to know her in real life. And last but not least, I mean I'll go last, but last but not least, the one and only, the returner,

the tenured professor. Here, stop on me my purse. I'm Gina and I'm the concoctress behind in the bedroom bartender and so what we can talk about more that later. But I really just bring cocktails to life. I create custom recipes, Breman's life and getting candle forms. You can sort of bathe in the ambiance of the drink if you don't want to drink. I also have back salt

and somebody scrupts. You still want to have the experience of smelling or being resolved in a cocktail without actually drinking. And tonight I am enjoying some muld wine. I did a muld cherry wine with cinnamon, clove, little dehydrated orange, and then I added like a spicy rum caramel simple syrup to it to sweeten it, and then topped it off with a shot aheadsea. So listen, my name is Mimi and I'm a Libra and this is my show,

and I'm on zoom with these ladies. And I realized that my bedroom is really because I'm in my bedroom right now because I didn't want to take it to the living room. And it's not really zoom friendly. But it's okay. And I am drinking on whatever Gina just said. Okay, I'm drinking on mulled wine. And it is a cherry wine. Let's see if I was listening so cherry wine that I heat it up. I don't have a microwave because the aliens are trying to steal our souls through microwaves.

I don't have a microwave, so I heat it up on the stove. Um, it's a cherry wine. And um, all of the other things that she said. And if you're curious about what it was, just rewind it and listen, because all I remember was cherry wine, hennessy. But I don't have hennessy, right, I have apple brandy. I have apple. Is this a Crown Apple? No, it's apple Jack Layard. I knew it was some fancy shit like it could never be, like Hennessy is the most basic thing that

she drinks. I'm surprised because you're a black, that's why, because and Black people love Hennessy. That's why, because you're a black, change the stigma associated with quest. I have apple brandy. I'm like, is it Crown Apple so I can be real black? Clearly? No, it's by Jean de la France of the Provence in the south of France. The tip of nice. Like, I don't even know what you just said, but it is good. I've never had I have, no, I have it. I don't know. Um

hot wine, it's very delicious. What is Can you tell me more about this cherry wine? What is it? No? You can't. Okay, she doesn't know. She can tell me about it later because I would like to buy some cherry wine in the market. Yeah. So it's just a it's a more tart cherry wine. And so that's why I added the delicious spicy caramel syrup to it, so kind of sweeten. And I had a cinnamon stick, some dehydrated oranges and clothes like y. Yeah, look, I see I didn't know that. And you had some kind of

simple syrup stuff with little bits and pieces in it that. Yes, listen, it's very good. Thank you. I have to say, guys, get a friend that's a bartender that makes custom, fancy, luxurious cocktails. It has changed my life. In the time that I've known her. She had me drinking Gin and I think Gin is disgusting. I've said it on this show before. I had a Gin cocktail that she made

and it changed my life. So enough about drinks. Like I said, I'm Meani and I'm here with my friends and Ken today and we're going to talk about the gratitude challenge I decided, and you can refer back to

episode thirty five. I think it's entitled like Scottsdale Owes Me Nothing or something like that, where I talk about when I went to Scottsdale for this podcasting conference and I got to see my little brothers in California because I went from Phoenix to LA for about fifteen hours, and when I got back, I was just so full of joying gratitude that I was like, I don't know what to do with like this feeling, and so I

was like, I'm gonna do a gratitude challenge. Now. The funny thing is that apparently November is like National Gratitude Month or something. There's always a fucking month for everything, like it's national toenail clipping months, and it's national don't wear a broader work month. What it's gratitude months. Personally, it's kind of like Black History Month. Every month should be Gratitude month. Every month should be Black History month.

Every month should be gratitude months. But it was a thing, and I didn't know, but I said that I wanted to have a challenge, and I wanted to do a challenge for myself to like kind of track or to document everything that I'm grateful for over a period of time. The number forty four just popped out of nowhere. Forty four days. It started on eleven eleven, which to me, if you've been listening to the show, you know, I

like a lot of like weird stuff. And for forty four days, from the November eleventh to December twenty fifth, the challenge was to do the challenge, excuse me, was to document five to ten things that you were grateful for. I opened it up and I shared it with people, and even if people didn't finish the challenge, or only did the challenge for two weeks, or you know, after a week, they fell off. I really wanted to create

a universal energy. Not that my podcast is universal, but it is because it is listening to in many countries all across the globe. Don't ever get it twisted. I just wanted to create an energy where like people were being intentional about gratitude, and so some people were like, oh, I'm gonna do it, and oh it's a good idea.

And these ladies did it and we talked about it a little bit after and I was like, would you mind being on the show, and they were like no. I knew I didn't want to have a lot of people on because sometimes that can be a bit overwhelming. It's literally like a party, like a house party. I knew I wanted it to be an intimate conversation just talking about like what was the experience, Like, I'll go first.

One thing that I noticed well the very first day, I found that I personally had a hard time thinking of five to ten things that I was grateful for. And what that told me was like, you need to be a little more thoughtful about like being grateful, because it should not be difficult to think about five to

ten things that you're grateful for. It also told me that I was overthinking it because you can be thankful for being able to walk, you can be thankful for having running water, for having hot water, for having heat, for having a cell phone, you know. And so that was my experience the first day. And then within the week, I think I noticed that I was a lot more cute in to other people complaining a lot and like

it made me irritable. Oh yeah, it made me really irritable. Now, I don't know if that had might have had a little something to do with, like my hormones, because my

hormones be all over the place. But I noticed, like how much people complained about things for, you know, no apparent reason, Like what are you complaining for when you can breathe, especially in the middle of a panorama where you know people are passing away and they can't be with their families and you know all these things are happening, You're complaining that Starbucks ran out of butter croissants, Like, are you kidding me right now? And so I noticed that I did for the most part, I did the

whole forty four days. I think I might have skipped like one or two days where I just went to bed early in the next morning. I didn't remember. On some days where I did go to bed the next morning, I would do it before I left for work, but just the first couple of weeks, and then after the first week where I noticed that other people were complaining a lot, I noticed when I complained a lot, and

it was like, girl, get your life together. But I'm really glad that I did it, and I want to figure out a way to incorporate it into my everyday life. Not for a forty four day challenge, but just figure out a way to like incorporate it into my life a little bit more because I feel like I need to be more intentional about focusing on like gratitude because I'm highly blessed, right, very, very very Some people call

it luck. I don't really think that luck is a thing because I think that that's not really how God works, and I believe in God, so I'm not gonna you know, I don't think that it's a luck thing at all. I think that God is very intentional. Though. I think that if God loves me enough to be intentional about me having such a wonderful life, then I need to be intentional about being appreciative of my wonderful life. So

that is a little bit about it. In a nutshell of my experience, who else wants to tell me like how it was for them, so to be fully transparent. I actually dreaded the challenge. I was totally going to do it to support you. But all I heard when you were like gratitude challenge. We're gonna do this every day for forty four days and five to two im you share that things a day. Yeah, I was worried because I didn't want to mess up right. I didn't

want to miss a day. I'm like, oh, I got to think of these things every day and what happens if I forget. It felt very cumbersome initially, because you know what, I got Mimi's back. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do it, and I kid you not. After the first day, I said, like, you know what, just write five things, and I started just like letting them fly and like not even like trying to be specific, and like five things came really quickly, to the point I was like, oh, let me stop at five because

I want to say some things for tomorrow. I don't want to run out of things. And I found that I actually looked forward to it, and I would wake up in the morning and I would grab my gonna make me cry all. I told my fiance, like, oh wait, wait, I forgot to write in my journal. We do this report, and so I kept finding myself looking for it. And then initially there were a few days that I had missed.

I think something happened in the family and I had to refocus and just like you know stuff, I'm a caregiver, and so I missed a few days back to bad before I realized is that I will shoot. And so I sat down and I filled in for each of those dates, like, well, I'm not going to miss those dates and so, and then I gave myself a little leeway. The further, I got in a challenge like if you miss a day, it's okay, just pick up on the

day that you're in and keep going for it. And it became part of my life, like I started carrying my journal with me everywhere I went to make sure I didn't forget. And then you shared something about just looking back over the types of things you listed, and I found a lot of mine. It tells you about where my mindset is right now. We're about being grateful to be alive, essentially, grateful for my breath, grateful for my body, grateful for this, grateful for happy memories, and

like you know, this holiday season was rough. There was a lot of grief for me, but just the things and people I celebrate, Like, there was very little materialistic gratitude. There were some things about like you know, happy to be a financially sound, happy to have access to this, or being able to invest or other things, but a lot of it was like literally like happy to be breathing today, glad for this person in my life and

what they bring to my life. So I enjoyed it and I started to look forward to doing it every day and it didn't feel as heavy as I thought it would be. I think I just sort of made it bigger than it was going to be until I actually started doing that. I love that. That made me a little I mean, I don't know if it's this fucking mold wine you got me drinking over here, but I don't really see myself or this show as an agent of change or whatever. You know what I'm trying

to say. I'm a little bit tipsy, But like that made me feel like, wait a minute, you might be doing something right, girl, because you definitely share you You definitely shared with me at the beginning, like, oh my god, I'm gonna have to do it. And when you yeah, and when you said that, all I heard was oh, Gina, come home, like you're perfect just the way you but in full transparency. What I heard was, um, like I heard some of your stuff right, And I was just like,

I just hope she sticks with it. But what you just share with me, it sounds like something that you learned in doing this was um, extending grace to yourself, which is very hard. Yeah, yeah, it's okay, like a day writing five back to back days of gradual like but I did that, Like let me think of five things for each day and let me try to remember three days ago. What was I thinking? And the I was like, no, it's okay, pick up where you are and keep moving. Yep, whatever you have, start where you

are and do your best. Thank you for sharing. Next, is it you fi to Mie? Or yeah I'll go this, Okay, Yeah I'll go there. Um for me, I really I was looking forward to it because I was at a point in my life, um, not too long ago. I was just like really down, like things were just not

going the way that I wanted to go. Life didn't look like what I thought it was gonna look like, and I was just finding it very hard to accept that, and just I just did not like where life was for me based on what I what I thought it was gonna be, you know. So I was like, you know what, let me do this. And I even told Jackson, maybe this will kind of change like how I how I look at my life in general, you know. So second like basically second day, I was already like, Wow,

look at this, look at everything that you have. And for me also, it was more my family. My family just keep coming up because they're just I'm so thankful for them, like every my cousin, my cousins, my mom, sister. It was just constantly I was just like, Wow, I'm surrounded by by really amazing people. And plus for you, just like for you my home, which just like I have, I'm safe. I kept reminding myself, I'm in a safe place.

I'm happy about that, I'm happy about my family. So that was really a constant thing for me when it comes to the gratitude challenge, and I think that that really it helped me a lot going into this year. Okay, a couple of years ago, I really did not do any vision board. I used to be really big on vision boards and I just kind of let go of that, and this year getting into it, I was like, wow, you know what, I want to do a vision board.

I want to like, I want to I want to actually have something to look forward to again, because I really wasn't having like anything to look forward to them just like you know what. And then with COVID, everybody I was seeing a lot of you know, just a lot of sad people. Everybody was just everybody just was talking about how sad they were. And it was kind of affect the meal because I'm seeing everybody talking about sadness. I literally I was just like, Wow, everybody's sad. I

guess it's okay for me to be sad too. But I just took it a little too far. So I was just like, I just didn't I forgot about the good things in life. And then as I'm writing down, um, I'm from West Africa, so there are simple things that I can remember I didn't have back then when I was living in Gambia that I have now. And I talked to my cousins that are back home also that it's okay. God no I was doing laundry one day and um, one of my cousins, he's from the village,

so he I was doing. I was on WhatsApp and he was like, what are you doing? And I didn't even think I forgot that. Wow, we really don't even have Washington like uh Washington dry. Yeah, And I said, oh, I'm watching my clothes and he was like, in a machine. I was like wow. I was like, oh my god. So I flipped my camera and should show him literally step by step how would go. And then I poured the uh you know the liquid uh drying thing. No,

it was the the fabric softener. Yes, okay, it's dawny actually yeah, yes, I poured down it and he was and he was like, so the machine knows when to release that and that. I was just like, oh my god. So that also like made me sit. I was. I wrote that down real quick. I was like, oh, thankful for watching watching watching my clothes, being able to wash my clothes and a machine thought about the dishwasher and

all of that. So for me, it was it just came right on time, and I felt that it took me out of the depression I was I was facing at the time. It just made me feel very I I'm getting emotional to just yeah, I'm getting so I'm gonna just let you know I'm fighting it like I'm having a conversation with myself, like yeah, me too. I'm a quick prior to it, and when I do, I'm

a cry baby. Man. Yeah. When when I think about you know, like how when you feel sad and you think about the moment during the moment, how you felt when you were sad, and I think about that moment and how I feel right now, I'm just like, wow, I really was sad. Yeah, but having that m gratitude challenge, I had to sit back and say Fox to what, you know, all these things are not going right in your life. You know how you expected your life to go. It's not going that way. But look at all this

that you have. I was just like, Okay, I really like where I'm So it really did that for me, Like it really really And I didn't even finish like half of it. I didn't even finish. I didn't finish half of it. And for you, like you said, I want this also to be part of my life. Yeah, because I think that it's a good reset for me because the things that I'm going through. I'm going to continue going through it for a while because it's something that it's not solved yet, you know, so it'll continuously

like knock me down a little bit. So I was finding it very hard to to like get out of whatever I was in. And the gratitude challenge, which I never really thought about ever before, it really I felt that that's one thing I can kind of find ways to kind of reset myself back to with that gratitude challenge. So I really really, it really really helped me out for me. Man, you'll try to make an og cry over you. It's it's tough. I didn't know you were from them. Yeah, I was supposed to go there when

I went to Segale. I went to Senegale and two thousand and four and we were supposed to go I was there for like a week and we were supposed to go to the Gambia for like two or three days. But if I'm not to say that, I think I heard yourself or I might have told you. Maybe I didn't. I don't remember a lot of term memory is not good, but um, if I'm not mistaken, was there like some kind of like civil unrest or there was something going on around Yeah, with the president situation. Well, I couldn't

come because of that, so I just stayed in the car. Yeah, you should go. It's it's very Oh no, So my cousins and I are really thinking, because I went with my cousins, we're thinking about doing a twenty year like anniversary trip back to see That would be really really nice. Yeah, because a lot has changed. A lot has changed because the big you know, the big statue, the bronze statue. Then it wasn't there when we went the first time. Oh wow, No, and I want to see it. It's beautiful. Yeah,

I want to see it. Yeah, you should definitely go. Yeah, that's the plan. That is amazing. That was such I feel like we're at church and like everybody's giving their testimony. So I also want to tell you, Gina that I keep pulling clothes out of my mouth because I'm drinking them. Because of your mother, you can you always can tell when I'm tipsy because my eyes look like pools of water. They are very shiny and black right now because I'm tipsy.

Who wants to go next? So so for me, gratitude is a big deal, right, because there are so many things to appreciate, but we don't focus on that and every in general, you know, we don't focus on that the way we should. So I'm listening to the podcast and i hear the Gratitude Challenge and I'm like, oh, yes, I'm gonna do it. And I can't do anything by myself. It's not called my friends like, look y'all gonna do it too, and they're like yes. So I thought it

was something really big to share for me. I really had to tap in, right. So the first few days of the challenge, I was like, oh, materialistic this and you know, I think I had posted about like my heated seats in my car, like, yes, this is what I am thankful for this life. That's real. It's cold. We're all on the East Coast. It get cold in the morning. When you got to go to work. It was nineteen degrees this morning. Yeah, no, trust me. Like

I it is a high on my gratitude list. But what I did was I took a minute, you know, to sept within myself and to really dig a little bit deeper, right because if it all washed away, what do you really have? And I'm super grateful that both of my parents are still alive. Like I can actually call my parents right now and talk to the morningfu. I'm not gonna call for they're gonna be on the podcast, but I can really call them and talk to them, my grandmother, like, you know, it's things like that I

really tap into. So the challenge really made me focus on what I'm grateful for and then what I'm grateful for, like on a larger scale, like the real big stuff. And what I did was I did share what I was grateful for within the challenge. I also told the people that how it, you know, how I felt about them in my life and the impact they had. So one of my cousins, you know, she's nine years older than me, and as a child, I always thought she was like the bomb. I mean, she had the hairstyle,

the clothes, she looked amazing. We all have that cousin, right, So but I had to let her know, like, you are really like that to me. And then what happened was in that conversation she expressed to me some of her emotional limitations and things that she struggled with. And I was and it slapped me in a face because I'm sitting here thinking, I look at you like you are great and amazing, but you're slowly breaking down inside.

But in that conversation, I was able to, you know, rebuild her a little bit because she was like, wow, I really needed to hear that I am these great things because right now I feel like I'm struggling. And I was like, I had no idea. I was just sharing gratitude and who knew, you know, you needed it.

So the challenge really helped help me and people around me in a lot of ways because we were able to bring forth, you know, just stuff that you don't think about, you know, right, just every what seems to be everyday things that you don't focus on. So since the challenge has ended, I have allowed myself to continue to focus on gratitude. I'm not letting up on that. So the other day my husband was getting on my nerves and I told him, I was like, you were

really driving me crazy. But instead of lashing out, I just reeled back into focus on the positives, like, you know what, maybe he's having a bad day, maybe he's having a rough work with you know what I mean, Like things that we don't think about when things roll over. So I've been focusing there. And this morning I made an appointment to take my car to the dealer to

get to maintenance. Doun. It was supposed to be a little small package and then it ended up being a little more than what I anticipated, but I was able to pay it, and I was like that that right there is what I'm grateful for because I can make sure that my car is maintained without having a you know, cut costs here or borrow money, veil and can I loan you know, something like that. And that was a

that was a really big deal for me. So I appreciate you for even doing the Gratitude challenge because it has helped me and my family on another level. Um, it also inspired our family happy hour. Oh wow yeah, so um I started, you know, I was in my feelings doing a challenge and telling my family I love them and this is why I love you when you bringing you bring And so Christmas one is COVID, which is a big deal. Um. I work in the school. My cousin worked in the school. My other cousin works

in the jail. So we're kind of like COVID pubs just because of when we work I leave Bill, yes, and we you know, we have this grandmother. But for things like the holidays, it's hard. For Christmas specifically, it's hard for us to come together because we have kids and spouses and things, and it's hard to just pick somewhere to go. So we decided to hope. I decided we were hosting a family happy hour because although we are with our extended families, we still nothing feels better

than being with your people in your space. So on the twenty second of December, we had a family happy hour. Everybody contributed whatever, and we all came together. And that was a part of the gratitude because for the last month I've been telling everybody how much I love them

and how great they were. And it was a ripple effect because the more I said it, then the more they said it, and the morning, you know what I mean, like everybody was like, well, you do this great and for a happy hour it was like, oh, you know, cousin, you always make the best drinks, so you make the drinks and you always do this, And it became like a big thing and we had the time of our life, just our family together for well four or five hours, you know, whatever, amount of time it was, and it

was great. So I appreciate you for even bringing it up because you took my family to another level this holiday. See man, y'all trying to get a ge fucked up in there? Come on, now, we know that I don't. I don't. Okay, all right, I'm go on to say what I need to say later, Okay, angel, last, but not least. Man, that's a tough act to follow. I know that's what she's talking about. I'm changing your family and shit like, come on now, all right, that's heavy.

It's a lot of pressures. You did you want to talk about some real old geez, like I got some geez in my family. So thank you, thank you. That's support the gratitude challenge to me. Actually, I think it was on the some of the first so um, I was a little late in the game, but you know, she said, I want you to participate in this gratitude challenge, and it was like an instantaneous, like no brainer for me.

This past year, I have literally working my full time job and addition also my full time business which I'm an event planner, and literally from February to probably about June, I was literally was working seven days a week. Okay, I can understand this because I worked seven days a week and it was mentally and physically just you know, really starting to take a toll on me. And I told myself, once I finished these events in June, I'm cutting it off and I need to take some time

for myself. And then the events picked back up, and then you know, it kind of came to a stop. The holidays are you know, as for anyone, it's a difficult time, right and it's December is especially a difficult you know time for me. And when she sent it, it was just kind of like it was just right

on time. During the challenge really showed me that as working all women, mothers, daughters, friends, cousins, employees, we need to do a better job of taking a step back and really being appreciative for the things that we actually do have, because you know, a lot of things can become routine. We get up, we take our kids to school or you know, drop you know, our spouses off

or carpool and whatever the situation may be. And then we come home, take care what we can take care of me, We go to sleep, and they would do it all over again. What I found out was that I have an appreciation for the people that are especially

closer for my circle. So when I look back at my Gratitude challenge, and some days, you know, I did forget, but I would say, oh, day seven, eight, and nine, and I would literally list it out because I didn't want to skip a day because that's how important that it actually felt for me. So I made sure I show my appreciation to my husband, you know, which I try to do as much as possible, you know, my best friend, and you know, my close family members and friends.

And doing this Gratitude challenge really kind of set the tone for me for twenty twenty two. So I think a lot of people every year they're you know, they say, oh, my New Year's resolutionists, I'm going to go to the gym, I'm gonna do this, and they have these laundry lists of goals, and I've been doing that for the past couple of years. But I don't have any goals for twenty twenty two. Listen, that's it, and it's okay, sis, it is okay over here, and hand me my prestre

new angel. So you don't know, I rebuked the demon of overproductivity, especially in Black women, we tied. We tired of ship, very tired. We tired of our assets being tied. We tied from them being tied. They worked to our so that we can rest a little bit. Rest, Yeah, tied, yured and I said that you know, you know, Essence,

you know, one of my biggest supporters. And for the longest time, I've had so many people, you know, telling me how great I am, and you know, and you know, they really believe in me and they love what I'm doing. And you know, for someone who was just you know, gotta keep going, I gotta keep going. I don't gotta time to stop. You really don't take the time to

really reflect on that. And I really sat back and I said, you know what, I work entirely too damn hard and I do two damn much to not really sit back and just you know, rep reap the benefits of what I've put in. So I said, I'm going to take more self care for Angel because that's what I pulled from a gratitude challenge, and also to continue to spend time with my family and friends and just kind of go with the flow and just realize that, hey, these things are going to be there, but this isn't

everything in life. So it was really an eye opening experience. And I even think you for you know, putting that out into the atmosphere and the fact that I since listened to the podcast along with you know, your other listeners and then it was able to you know, have such a huge effect on me. So it was it was really great. That is awesome. Man, I feel dumb when I'm about to talk about mine, like all right, well, okay,

well I was just happy, okay the end. No, I was determined that I would finish this challenge because an area of my life that over the past few years that I'm actually since I started this podcast or maybe a little before that, I really try to focus on is finishing what I start. That's important to me. So I was determined to finish it, and I needed to finish it because it's my idea and I can't say I want you guys to do it and finish it and I don't finish it myself. So I did, like

I said, I did the whole challenge. I might have missed like two days maybe I went on vacation, and while I was on vacation, I didn't have my post it notes, but I ended up writing I take like a journal or a notebook of some sort everywhere I go, like I have to take it. And I don't even know why, because sometimes I don't write in them, but just in case I get a good idea, I need

to be able to write it down. And so I wrote in the back of an old journal every day, and then when I got home, I cut the pages up and just folded them up and put them away. For me, I think I wanted to keep the momentum of how I was feeling when I went on that trip to Arizona and seeing my brothers and my birthday was right after that. I wanted to keep that momentum up because it was almost like it was almost like

a high for me. And I don't know if I was necessarily chasing the high or it was just like, I really like the way this feels. I want to sit in this, because it's not that I live a life of where I'm not grateful or I'm not appreciative, but forcing yourself to really hone in on five to ten things that you're grateful for it sounds overwhelming, but when you get into it, it's really not once you realize that it's not a complex thing, because, like Gina said,

you find yourself saying, I'm just grateful for breath. I'm grateful for a nice cutlery set, because one time I wrote that I'm grateful that I have nice knives. Right, you're muted, essence, I don't I don't know if you knew that, but I see you moving here. Well, no I did, though I was muted. I didn't want to

necessarily interrupt you. But okay, but that's a big deal. Yeah, having nice knives is important, Yes, when it's time to cut vegetables or meant, but I wanted to I wanted to keep the momentum going and keep that feeling going because it was such a I was in such a good place when it was happening. And so I think for me, the thing that I noticed the most is that I am very grateful for the people that are

around me. And since I might have even wrote one time that I was grateful for you, because you whenever you see me at least one to two times a week, you encourage me as it relates to this podcast, and you don't really know how impactful that is for me, because I am the kind of girl or the kind of person where when I'm tired or something, I just don't do it no more, which is why I said

I wanted to finish something that I started. So it's very encouraging on those days where I don't feel like it or I feel like I'm not making an impact with the work that I'm doing with this, or that I feel like i haven't quite tapped in yet, or like that I'm not good enough, or like nobody listened to my podcast because it's stupid, Like I can always count on you at some point during the week to talk to me about how great you think it is,

and I am very grateful for that. But I'm really grateful for the people that I have around me, and I think that for me that's important because I know what loss looks like and feels like in the way of like humans in your that probably should be closer to you, right whether it's emotionally, spiritually, mentally, or physically.

So I really cherish the people that are around me, and doing this challenge really let me know like I do and I didn't do necessarily what you did in that I told them because I'm a super emotional libra. You're a Libra too, But I'm a super emotional Libra. I tell people all the time, I love you, You're great. Oh my god, you're so wonderful. But it really made me think, like I am so fucking loved, like I am loved by a lot of people, like and I

have everything that I need. It also put into perspective for me that, like Fatima said, like all of my basic needs are met, and there are so many people who just their basic needs. Every day on my way to work, I pass this man. He sits on the meeting. He's homeless, and oh, I might cry. He's homeless. And

my basic needs are met. I don't have to rely on somebody giving me their Panera scraps out of a car, or you know, giving me a blanket because I'm cold, or you know, my needs and my and beyond my basic wants are ment. I'm grateful for that because everybody can't say that. And I'm not grateful for it because somebody else can't. I'm grateful for it because I know that.

You know. So this is tricky. When I'm thinking the thought that I just had, it's like, I know that I'm worth it and I know that I deserve it, you know, because we push that like you deserve says and you deserve and I deserve and I'm worth it. Maybe she's worth it, maybe it's mabeling or maybe she's born with or whatever. But the truth of the matter is that I am so blessed to have it because

everybody don't got what I got. So the fact, how are we to a decision that could be you know, child, because we've all been through different things in different spaces, and like I like to joke and say I was bougie homeless, but I've been through some shit and like every decision we make sometimes God put us in that spot. But who's to say that those people don't deserve things that we have as well? Is it? A decision is

based on access? Like absolutely, so I oh, so you don't listen, so you don't listen to the show, which what you don't know is that that's what I do. I like a lot of crystals. I like a lot of incense and oils and shit and sage and shit. But don't ever get it fucked up. I was raised in the church, so I'm I'm gonna take it back

to God. Every time, hallelujah. I think that sometimes because we do get especially black women, Oh I deserve because I'm a Black woman, and I deserve and you do deserve this on you know, on a very basic level, every body deserves, right. We don't deserve no more than

nobody else. I'm gonna lead that where it's at. But I think that it is much more pleasing to God to look at the situation like, how blessed am I that you chose me to have these things, that I have to have, these people, that I have to have this washing machine, And not that he didn't choose your cousin to have a washing machine fought to him, not that he didn't, he did choose you to have it. How blessed are you to have the washing machine? Right?

And even in showing your cousin the washing machine, that could have sparked like some hope in him, like, man, I need to go to get my ass over to the US so I can get one of these machines she got, you know, and in turn he and even if he never makes it to the US to get a machine, it might spark something in him that's positive. Because as you guys were talking, you got you guys are like, oh, I'm grateful that you did this because it made me feel this, And I'm like, shit, I'm like,

I ain't no fucking body. Who am I to spark joy? But who am I to not? And I just think that you know, when we operate from a place of gratitude, it changes your whole mindset. And all of you have said that I know someone who is dealing with like really bad grief, right, and I lost my grandfather. Oh Sunday will be too now, y'all really want a bitch to cry? Now? Oh, um, Sunday it will be two years to the day. And my grandfather talked about him on this show all the time. He was my ace boom, like,

he was my number one cheerleader. Like sometimes I'm like, man, I wish he was here to see me doing this, because he wouldn't. He wouldn't even he don't even he wouldn't. He don't know what the podcast is. But he would be calling this friends. He would listen to every episode. He would tell his friends, Oh, my granddaughter got the show. You should listen to it. She on the radio. He would just make something up, but I know he would be really proud of me. It was a big loss

for me. But I navigate grief a little bit differently because of this challenge, because I look at it like, how grateful am I to have even been able to have a relationship with him from the start? Because everybody didn't have a grandfather? Some people never their grandfather died before they were born. I had my grandfather, my grandfather.

I was forty when my grandfather passed away. I had a grandfather for forty years, and a grandfather who stood in the gap for me when my own father did not or my own mother did not, or when I did not stand in the gap for myself. So I think I look at grief in a different way because of this challenge, though now not that I was like walking around really sad or depressed as a result, but I definitely look at it a little bit different now. I like, how grateful am I? How grateful am I

to know who my parents are? I know who they are, They're still alive, Like I like, you have to really think about it and not from a place where I have something that somebody else doesn't, or like my situation. It bothers me when people say, well, somebody else always has it worse off than you. Yeah, Like that's operating from a space of negativity, right, perspective too, right, Like we can all say things our worst space on how

we feel like going through this challenge. I lost my mom a little over a year ago, and so that's why this holid season was really really rough. But during this challenge, an acquaintance or a friend of mine passed away, and I I meanly thought about her daughter, who was turning. I think she's like thirteen, and I'm like, day, I'm over here broken up and crying and if that shouldn't because it's my mom. But I'm like, but my mom

got to see me till I was forty two. Yeah, yeah, right, Like she got to see I got to spend a long time, but I got to have quality time and close connection. This young lady loses her right at the pivot point where she's becoming a teenager and about to do all these things where she's not going to have that experience. And so it put it into perspective for me where I think I mentioned earlier, some of my things that I was grateful for was really good memories.

You know, I was grateful for the quality time that I have with my mom, like the connection that had, like just a lot of things where I'm like, wow, not that you know, she's not going to have a negative way, but it makes you look at it differently for what you did have, even if the time was still considered short, right, Like I wouldn't want anybody to

go through that. We may all go through it at some point, but still a perspective looking at it from a different place of I am thankful for having all of those things that maybe at times I got frustrated lye or her, you know, sometimes her opinions and a little too much mothering. But now it's different. Yeah, absolutely, I think that Another thing another theme that I saw for me was time alone. I work in a building with close to a thousand people, right, yeah, a COVID

hot spot, honey. I work in the building with about I would say, close to a thousand people, well over like between nine fifty nine hundred, close to nine hundred and fifty people. And I think that time by myself, Like some people need to be around other people, like it feeds them, time with me feeds me. I really enjoy being with myself, Like I really like just being with me. Not that I don't like being around other people, but I really enjoy just spending time with myself. And

I don't even have to do anything. It doesn't have to be a spa day or you know, me cooking a big meal. It could literally be me sitting and watching Harry Potter movies for eight days straight. I'm okay with it. I definitely bench watched the Harry Potter movie series during Christmas break and it was amazing. Is there anybody else who is really in the Harry Potter Please tell me? Yes, I am. What house do you belong to?

Griffin Door? Hello? Yes, yeah. I took the test. I took it three times because the first time I took it the first time. I know this is a seguay, but if you listen to the show, you know Sis likes to digress. So I'm a late bloomer with Harry Potter. I read. I read the first two books in OH seven and o eight half of the second book, and then I dropped it because I started doing makeup full time,

so I was really laser focused on that. I took the first test like maybe two or three years ago because one of my co workers is really in Harry Potter, and she was like, well, take the test of that. And then I was like, I don't know what the hell of Gryffinder is or gryffindor whatever it is. Well that's what I got on the test. After I watched the movies last two weeks ago. Took the test again and I got raven Claw and I was like, oh, I don't really know. This is weird because I don't

really like feel it. I don't feel the raven Claw connection right. So I would have got hufful Puff. I'd have been like, Okay, I can feel that, but now I feel I don't feel that. Took it again and got Gryffinder, now Gryffindor, and I was like, okay, this is where I belong because they are brave, they're chivalrous, you know, and that is who I am. I think. Well,

I took it to the second time when I got Slytherin. Well, don't tell anybody that, you know what, Sorry that we're having a sorry that we're having a Harry Potter Um spin off conversation. But here's what I learned about Slytherin. And because I joined the hair, I joined the Harry Potter Fan Club at forty two. Like no, literally, I signed up for the Harry Potter Fan Club and I get the eats now and you yeah, I'm not joking. When I like something, when I'm into something, I go hard.

That's how I am. And so and so. UM, I read up something. I read some things about Slytherin and it seems like they get a bad they drab, but realistically they are really smart. Um, they use their resources. They're very cunning. Um, you know, and you know I'm with that, but it's not it's not for me. My favorite character on the in the movies though, is several snake by far, He's not. Oh yes, he is my favorite too. He is literally one of my favorite and

his voice everything cried when he died. I definitely cry like, no, it realized. No I cried, I said, I was crying like I cried. Yeah, I was sorry, guys. So okay, So back to our normally a regally y'all didn't y'all don't watch her, y'all? No, No, I've watched the Harry Potter movies. I'm not that dial then, but no, if it comes on, I will sit down and I'll watch the movie. Okay, you're not. You don't watch oh I do.

I loved Harry Potter to the point that I got excited about their reunion because I thought it was going to be an actual film Harry Potter. I'm like, all right, it's gonna have a plot. And I'm like, oh, we're watching them meet each other after two Okay, I knew that. You were like I knew it. I'm like, she's sitting over there, all calm, I know she's watched these films. So I started watching it. Everybody thought I was watching it because of the twenty year reunion, but I wasn't.

I didn't even know that that was a thing, that it was happening until I got to seven point one film seven point one definitely Hallows Part one. But anyway, enough about Harry Potter that this just goes to show everybody listening that being a black woman, being a black person is not a monolithic experience. Okay, because you just heard four black women essence, you didn't get excited about it, So I guess you're not a new Potter. Okay, talk about Harry Potter. Three of them geeked out about it.

One of them belongs to Harry Potter fan Club. Okay, and her name is me. That's who she is. But anyway, don't don't assume things about anybody, particularly black women, because we like all kind of things. So anyway, back to this gratitude challenge, So those were the overarching things for me, like just basic needs, like you know, I'm happy to have running water, like I've read through, I'm happy to

running water. I'm happy to have heat because my heat broke twice during the fucking challenge, and then when it stopped breaking, I was like, I'm happy to have a warm home. I'm happy to have gas in my car. I'm happy to have food in my refrigerator. These are

all things that I wrote down. So it was almost like it was a humbling experience, right because it makes you feel like, wait a minute, humble yourself before God for me, and just be grateful that I have these these things because you know, as they say in a lot of Christian songs, even me, like even me who sometimes you know we talk about like I said, oh I deserve, because I deserve. But you know, I'm not always a good little girl. I'm not always on my

peas and ques. But God still saw fit to bless me with a warm home, food in my refrigerator, loving family and friends around me. So I think that for me, it was a very humbling experience and it really, like I said, made me think about how many awesome people I have in my life and around me, which I'm really really grateful for, including you guys, because y'all just bless me tonight. I don't even know if you know that Jena blessed me twice with this hot wine, but

I appreciate you, guys. I do have a question, what is the hardest lesson you feel like you learned, but that you're grateful that you had to learn or that you got a chance to learn. I would say accept my situation, okay, just accepting, so acceptance of acceptance or just acceptance in general, just acceptance in general. I just wasn't accepting things okay, like just accepting everything and just being okay with even though things are not the way

I wanted to be, other things are. I'm thankful for other things. Yea, I would say accepting because for me that was the hardest thing. I just was not accepting. Okay. Essence, your hand is up. Okay, So since we're on zoom. I felt like we were in a meeting. We were not like I doing meeting. That's that gobbling. I don't know. Well, Okay, so I raised my hand because I wanted to say something, but I don't necessarily know what I learned because it was like levels to it. It was more of an

awakening than like learning something. Okay, that's the same. So in my family, and I'm gonna make I'm not gonna get a long winded with this, but in my family, so from the top, like my grandmother down, we don't express our feelings for each other unless we're drunk, right, Okay, so we'll have a gather at a party whatever. Everybody can get so drunk and then it's like, oh my god, I love you this, and that we have not gotten

to a place. We're getting there, but prior to the Gratitude Challenge, we had not gotten to a place where we can honestly call each other and say, girl, I love you. Like the Gratitude challenge. The reason why I went and forwardly expressed the people how I felt was because it don't happen in our family. So it was a big deal because people were like, oh my gosh, like, I love you too, and I really do like this,

and you know, we took it to another level. And we also included the children in this, so all the eighteen and unders were included, and it made it like a thing, like it was a big loving thing of appreciation within the family. Like I said, we went into the happy hour. What I realized in that moment is my power because I really took my family to another level. Girl, you out here breaking generational curses, listen, it's my goal. Like we don't have enough podcast time to get into

the curses that are breaking. But I really realized my power within my family where if I say it, they will come. If I started, they will follow, and somebody has to be the one to do it. And if yeah, it was is a big deal, Like we had likes a lot because we had a whole cousins. Even that didn't happen, that was a whole big deal. And when we got to this and I started expressing and everybody

started expressing, and it was a real big loving thing. So, um, you want to answer your question, I would get I guess it really is my power within my family and being the person to be able to um to do that to take us to another level. You know, even if it's just a hug, you know, we love each other level. That's an amazing thing. The other thing I wanted to add, so while you guys were gushing over your Harry Potter, I googled the Harry Potter quiz and

I belonged to the House of raven Claw. That what in the Google search. That's not the real quiz. The one you took is not real. You have to take the quiz on my Wizarding World dot world, because that's the real quiz. Honey, it was on Google and it's a Harry Potter quiz. No. No, first of all, you're not You are probably a hufflepuff. You're definitely not a raven Claw. And you that's not the real quiz because

the real quiz you gotta sign up. You gotta give your first born's toe nails, you gotta give a drop, you got to do a lot of things. That's the Yeah. See, that's the real test. I took that test three times. I deleted the account. I didn't. I wanted to know three out best three out of two out of three, and it was Griffin Door twice, raven Claw once, anyway, sorry, as you don't even know what anything. They could eat old dogs for breakfast. You don't even know, silly self.

Any who. I also like Lord of the Rings too, anybody? Oh my god, Yeah, I mean too. I'm big, yes, lord of It. Literally do you know the amount of lesson? Yes, it was, and the Hobbit was too. Ye you're thinking of the hobbit. I am of the hobbit. Yep, my man, we're talking about how man. Yeah, listen, we're gonna talk on the side. We need, we need to talk on the side that that serious business. Yeah it is. Um. Okay, what about you, Angel? What is um a lesson that

you were grateful to learn for me? I was grateful to really learn. I wouldn't say learn, it's more so UM kind of hone and on it. It's to appreciate me more. Okay, that's always about I will say I probably haven't done a great job over the past couple of years. So in my family, I am the go to person. UM. I am the person that they call um. I'm the person where I will give the shirt off my back. I'm always willing to help. I'm always kind of taking on everyone else's problems, but I have a

tendency to put myself last. And I said that I need to stop doing that, because when I'm tired, when I'm ready to break, when I'm ready to throw my hands up, there's nobody that's what they're gonna be able to save me but me. You know, I say that a lot to people. Ain't nobody coming to save you since so save you. It's nobody that's coming to save me but me. So I said that if I don't take the time to slow down, pump the brakes, to stop and smell the flowers, you know, it could be

a real detriment to myself. And I was just like, I really need to appreciate the great person that I am, and um, do more self care, take myself on more deep, tell people no more, and if they get mad, really don't give a shit. Yeah no, it's a complete sentence. Yeah, can you do this? No? No, nobody cannot. No. And guess what, you don't owe anybody in explanation after that, either if you give, if you give an explanation, then you are a kind person. That's that's that's extra. That's

like whipped cream and a chair. But you don't owe anybody, not your children, not your husband, not your MoMA, not your daddy. You don't owe anybody in explanation no, And if you do give an explanation, the best explanation is I don't want to do that. Yeah, eriod, that's it and it's okay, and anybody and anybody who now don't go out and just be like because I did this. Actually, my therapist, I cannot have one episode where I don't mention this. Lady. I don't know what it is, but

she said that maybe around June. She told me, she said, you've gotten really good with telling people now, and I mean really good with like standing up for yourself and saying no, you won't. But you need to figure out how to get back that love, loving and kind and sweet Mimi back. And I was like, no, I didn't

say no, but like it was about balance. But I had gotten really good with, you know, saying the word no. You don't feel bad when you say no, because that's what that's what I'm struggling with, because you always say, do what you want to do and don't do what you know. But that is difficult because it's like once you say no, that guilt. Oh, my goodness. I always have to turn around and say okay, maybe, okay, yeah girl, we're gonna work on you. Like no, because struggle with that.

But yeah, that guilt. It's like I feel so sad for them because I'm sitting here thinking, oh man, they really needed whatever it is. But you know, here's the thing, if you don't want to do it, you do more of a disservice to yourself by doing something that you don't want to do. It's now if it's if if it's your son and he's hungry, then you can't be like, no,

I ain't fixing you nothing to need. Like if he's seven, like fix him something please, But like if he's a fourteen, if he's fourteen and you say, no, I don't feel like it today, little Bama, go in there and fix the sandwich. But go figure it out. But no, and I understand that, And I said that before in the last episode where my therapist was on the show. That was literally one of the best episodes for me. When it sounds real easy, do what you want and don't

do what you don't want, the shit is hard. It is, especially especially if you are in a situation or you come from a family where you know, you know an immigrant family. Well, my family ain't my family immigrant family says we straight out of West Baltimore and we're we immigrants from from West Baltimore to Northwest Baltimore County, like were not immigrants. But that just goes to show how connected black people are. It does no matter where we

are from. We could be from France, Russia, China, the Gambia, Granada, it doesn't matter. Like we're all connected in all of the things that we deal with, especially in our family dynamic. All that shit is connected. It's in our blood, it's in our bone marrow. I don't know if it came from with us when we came from Africa to Jamaica and Antigua and West Baltimore and North Carolina and wherever

we are. But a lot of the family dynamic issues like it's all the same, right, and also how we're raised as women, right, like the things that we're taught to do and what's okay, and like what you can and can't sacrifice, and how it's selfish at yourself first, and how that part of times we tend to be the stable ones, right, we could share everybody else, like talk about saying no a lot now because I've been like literally the places of where I'm like, I'm making

myself sick by not doing it. And I've been trying this for a number of years and it takes practice and it's not easy, but you have to get that place of like I feel like part of that contributed to my mom's passing, and I'm like, I don't want to go out like that. I refuse for that to be how I leave this world right. And so one are the things that are important? And my fiance has been huge and saying like, what are the three things

you have to do right now? That literally like if you don't get them done this week, somebody's gonna get hurt or die. And if if if something can wait till next week, let it wait, if somebody else can get it done, see who else can get it done, because once you start saying no, you start to see who else will step up? And was that thing they asked really that important that you had to be done by you right now? Could it wait a week? Could they do it themselves? Are they okay? If not doing

it at all? Like people will figure out a way, but we're so used to taking it all on and making things happen because we do, and we do it really really well that we don't want to say no or not. People expect it from us, right, and they

get used to us stepping up. Another thing that my therapist has taught me is about like um black women in like the culture of like self sacrificing in the familiar unit, right, And she has taught me that I don't have to bleed out for you to understand that I love you and I support you, So I don't have to I don't have to slip my wrist and pour all my blood out so that you can, you know, thrive, because ultimately, it's not my job to make sure that

you thrive. That's your job, because I'm out here trying to figure out how to make sure that I thrive. Right. Of course, I'm not talking about children, because it's difficult children or you know, elderly people who absolutely can't do anything for themselves, like that's different, or even family members that need support or assistance in a different way like

they cannot do for themselves. But the thing is that like if you can do for yourself, you need to make some effort because it's not why am I sacrificing myself when you aren't putting forth any effort to do anything. That is absolutely not okay, because at the end of the day, like Gena said, you could end up physically ill or I'm gonna make it even more hot. You

pour into somebody else. And a lot as women, we've been in relationships where we've done this for men or women, if you're with a woman, whatever, We've been in relationships where you pour so much into that other person to help them. Look at Issa Ray and Lawrence Orsa d and Lawrence. It did, it did, and I wanted to talk about that on this episode, but it can wait.

I feel like we've all been in that relationship where we've poured so much and sacrificed so much for somebody else, and then when they done, they just get up and going about their business and go be with somebody else, or go be with themselves or move to yeah, or it's like all right, I don't need you no more. That's why sometimes not Sometimes it's always important to make sure that, like Angel says she's doing, it's important to take care of yourself. You have to because ultimately nobody

is going to come and save you. So while you're out trying to save the world, Fatima, who is gonna save Batama yea who nobody Nobody's coming to save you, says, nobody is coming to save us, so we better save ourselves. That doesn't and that does not mean, and that's what my therapist was talking about. That doesn't mean that you stop being loving, that you stop being kind, that you stop being helpful, that you don't show up in your

family the way you're used to. That just means that you are first your joy, your peace, your happiness, your well being, your physical health, your mental health, because black women do not put their mental health first, your mental health first. And then when I'm good, I can help you because another thing she taught me is that I make myself better and more apt to help other people

when I take good care of myself. Right. So sometimes when the guilt get you think about it as and it's a shame that we feel guilty about being good to ourselves. But when the guilt comes along, say I'm making myself better so that I can better show up so that I can love I love you better when when I love me better, when you like all those things. Yeah, yeah, yeah me and let me reminded me, let me go email my therapist when we get off the phone because

we need to sell something up from the January. See there you go. Are you better get to stand in appointment? My therapist? Cancel my therapist, cancel my appointment. Today I was a little bit upset. Well, listen, you know I four since two thousand and thirteen, all go together night, Listen. We we even had a better separation where she left the one um company that she was with and then when with this other company and they weren't accepting insurance and at that time I was not paying out to

pocket um. But she came back to the company now and um, I've graduated from every week to a couple of times throughout the year. So that's a I don't ever want to graduate like that. I don't ever want to graduate. I don't want to where she was like, hey you eat me send me an email. But um, you know, with everything that I have like going on right now, I'm gonna wait for twenty twenty two and the ball to drop. But send me your schedule sets. I need to be on it. Tell me something that

you guys, and we can start to wrap up. But tell me something that you guys are really excited about and looking forward to in this new year that maybe the maybe the challenge helped you with or maybe it did not, But if it did help you with being excited about something, tell me about that. For me, it helped me work on receiving everything right, just receiving in general. So naturally I'm always chasing the next thing. I had

to teach myself to down a little bit. So if it's like what am I doing in education with my next job? Or what career am I planning for? Or what am I gonna do? What vacation am I going on? I'm always thinking about the next thing without properly, in my opinion, properly enjoying the thing I'm at right, So um, I decided, especially with the gratitude, because a lot came out, A lot came out, like I don't. I don't think y'all understand how much you know, love and appreciation was

poured in this Gratitude challenge. It was poured into me, I poured it into people. It was like a whole little fountain thing going like this, Well, look, Jenny gonna be like don't know Ifody had nothing else no more. Gina is the auntie that sits back and watches like but it was she doesn't, She's not that's not what she's thinking. Um now. So I was really thinking, like, let me really focus and receive what I have and appreciate where I'm at and where I've come and not

playing the next thing. So um. And it's you know, it's interesting because my cousin was like, hey, we should go on a trip, and I'm like, how much is it? Let's go, and and I didn't get a chance to book it. And I thought that that was like and you know God's intent because I'm not moving into a planning space. I'm not moving into planning for the next thing. I'm taking twenty twenty two day by day, week by week, like oh am, I free today. Well that's what I'm doing.

I'm not looking I'm not looking for that next big thing. Um. And so for me, it was just living in the space that I'm in in this moment right here and receiving the love of the blessings and all that stuff around it. I'm just gonna go a hand coffee and

pace for us. And so it was Oh, I'm looking forward to ease and quality time Like a lot of what I know this is the things that I'm really really great before are simple like like being able to breathe, go outside, like spend time with my dog and walk outside in nature and watch him play, spend time with my fiance, and like the things that it made me think more about, like what I do for a living, how I spend my time, Like I jokingly tell him, I'm like, when we get married, I could be a

stay at home dog mom, right and I'm still send them in the daycare right, Like because I've been hustling for so long and doing everything for everybody, and one of my women I work with it, like one of my therapists or whatever was some me who told you I had to do all that And I had to think about that, and like nobody told me I had to do all that? Like where did I pick up

this message that I had to be the one? And I've been living that way for so long And a lot of the things that I was grateful for during this challenge is rest, space, air, ability to move, time to do yoga, time to do this, like things that I may have created, I'm like I've worked so hard, constantly, NonStop, fulfilling this busy idea of Okay, I gotta clock in right now. I gotta showed, ready how hard I'm working. How to do all these things you needed done? Yep,

I got it the guy that could do it. And all it's done is make me feel physically ill or stress me out, and I'm done. Like I cant telling people like I'm trying to retire at fifty and it doesn't mean I'm not going to be working in some capacity. I'm not gonna have income coming in in some way, but I don't want to work the nine to five, which is really nine to nine extra hustle role where I don't get to enjoy time with family, enjoy travel,

enjoy life like I want ease. Yeah, it's funny you mentioned that word because I saw it a couple of weeks ago and I was like, I don't even know if I really know what that is, and I was like ease. I was like, that's what I want. I want. I want my life to be filled with ease and not that I don't want to know. Um. You know, sometimes I feel like as black people is like we feel like if it's no struggle then, you know, struggle makes the reward better. Fuck that, Yeah, and reward makes

the reward better, like just getting it is enough. I've worked hard enough in my whole life. And if I didn't, my mother, my grandmother, my great grandmother, my great great grandmother, my great great great grandmother, and so on and so forth, they've worked enough that I can have a little bit of ease, and hopefully the young ladies that come after me, they'll have more ease than I did. I want ease

if there doesn't have to be struggle. There doesn't have to be like this war with productivity and being busy and hustle, hustle, hustle for um me to you know, play hard or you know relax. No, I want to relax because I want to relax and I deserve to relax. It's my birthright to just relax. I love that about the knap ministry, and that's always a constant reminded me of the things that like, no, rest is your right, you need that. We don't have the nap industry. Oh

my gosh, go check them out. So it's a real thing. Yeah, they teach a lot of healing through rest. And not always coming to be this culture and black women neither. Look black women behind it. I'm saying yeah, black men too though, because you know, it's like it's like we have something to prove. Look at Fatima's face, I'm not playing one of to day. She like, they don't do She was like, I'm doing it all. I can't tell

them no yet She's absolutely they don't need shit. They don't know damn rest no not okay, Well then there's that. Um anybody else anything that you are looking forward to this year? Fatima? Yeah? Me. For me, I'm looking forward to just starting. I have so many projects I wanted to do. Oh I wanted to do, but because I'm always waiting for things to just be right, Like I'm always like I don't have I don't have this, so I can't do it. I don't have this, I can't

do it. I don't have this, like I was so when I tell you, I was so consumed with things I do not have, like the That's what the Gratitude Challenge did for me, Like mainly is just looking at everything else I do have, to the point that projects that I want to start, I'm so concentrated, like let's say I want to I said I want to do videos or something like that. Oh I don't have this. Oh my room doesn't look this, or that's what I'm saying. I'm just like, I don't start anything because I'm just

so concentrated on things I don't have. I can't do this because I don't have this. So for me this year, and that's why I said I want to do the UM. I'm doing the UM the vision board because I feel like, once I do the vision board, my vision. I haven't done my vision for Once I did my vision board, I feel like I can really just see everything and be like, Wow, I'm gonna I'm gonna. I'm gonna actually do a lot of things this year. And I wasn't.

My mind wasn't even set on that, Like I didn't even because I'm just like, oh, I don't have this, so i can't really do that. I can't. So I'm really looking forward to just just the projects that I'm gonna start. Yeah, that's really what I'm looking forward to. That's awesome, and you know, there's a form of freedom in all of this, but before I get there, for me, I'm looking forward to. It's funny that you said that I'm forward to, looking forward to living life and navigating

through life. Um, I guess from a place of ease. I'm looking forward to not operating from a space of lack. And I think that that is something that is something that oh, that's yeah, I do or I did, excuse me, correct the mundo, something that I did in the past. I operate from a space of lack. Well, I don't have enough money to do that. Well, I don't have this. Well, I'm not small enough, I'm not smart enough. I don't have a degree. My hips are too big, my ankles

are too ashy, my hair is too short. Maybe don't play with me and my ashley ankles. Okay, don't, But you know what I mean, just operating from a space not having enough, not being enough, not knowing enough, not looking like enough. No, I live a very abundant life. I have everything that I need. And once you realize that you have everything that you need, you realize that

you get more. And I not because I want more, but also when you really when you appreciate the things that you have, you realize I don't really need anything else. And once you that's a part of acceptance to you. Once you accept like I'm I'm good over here, like I got everything that I need. That's when God is like, let me take some of these take some of these sprinkles. Put they put some sprinkles up on her life. I

want the sprinkles. God, I'm hearing the sprinkles. It's so funny. Well, there's power and like even starting right because when you, regardless of what you have, when you at least take that step, it's like, all right, So she's serious about this. The rest of the stuff starts to make way. I work with women in a professional sense outside of you know, the bartending stuff. And every time we welcome new women into our organization, we talk about how we keep waiting

for the right time. We wait for this to be right, money to be right, our side to be right. And like the quote ends is like time, it's waiting for the right us or something like that. And every time I've taken a leap, I'm always I'm nervous about I'm scared, but like the way things open up afterward, just by taking that step versus had I told myself, Oh, I don't have enough money to start this business. Oh it's a it's a pandemic. Nobody's going buy for me. Let

me just not do it. Oh I don't know enough, or I haven't you know, my content isn't polished enough. Like we start somewhere and then we grow. The opportunities come when you're ready to take that leap. The more you say I don't have time or I can't, things won't come your way because you're saying I don't want it,

I'm not ready. But when you open that space by saying, all right, let's start and get it done, no matter how it looks, and please do your vision board back to me, I will say I was skeptical, but I made one like I don't know five ten years ago, and I go back and look at it now because took a picture of them, like, oh it all didn't happen in that same year, but I planted those and I look at overtime like all of these things like now they've all come to fruition, even if I didn't

realize I was working on it and like wanting to travel on all these things, like you put it out there, you spell it, it's a whole I don't know who actually come up what you're saying, but there's a whole thing about how write it out. Spelling is a spell and when you actually put it on paper or picturize it or it's not the right term, but you don't trying to say you start to visualize it, you start to make those things happen almost subconsciously, you open up

that space for it. So that's what I'm yeah, absolutely no, that's what's gonna happen. The truth of the matter is that you know. And this is where I toggle back and forth with my own spiritual belief. But I feel like God in the universe is all one, it's all one thing, it's all one entity. And I feel like the things that you say are the things that like, that's a spell, or that is a wish, or that is a dream that you put out and once it comes out of your mouth, from your moth to God's

ears or your moth to the universe's ears. And when you say these things, even when you say things that are not so positive, like I'm not small enough, well you probably won't lose any weight because you've already just said I'm not small Because that's all the universe is gonna hear. Is that I'm not small. You know, I don't have any money. Well, I'm not gonna give her no money because she don't have no money. And that's what she said. And your thoughts and your words are

so powerful. And I like what you said, Gina, when you talked about spelling it out. It's like a spell. I don't you know people can write stuff in their phone all they want. I need a pen and I need some paper. I write it down. I write it down. I got to write stuff down. I do. And also you get the opportunity to go back and look at it, which is why this challenge was so important for me to write it down. And I'm not going to get

rid of these things. I'm going to keep them. I'll probably keep them in this little gold jar because I need to keep them, you know what I mean, so that whenever I start to feel like I don't have enough, maybe I need to be reminded, like, bitch, you gotta running water. You got a cousin Julia. You got a cousin name Randall, cousin named Jasmine. You got essence to encourage you at work. You know, like all of these things that you have like tells you who you were

right in that time too. And I'm gonna second um what Gina said about the vision board, because as you were talking, I thought about the vision board because I did one last year. I did one last year in January, and I kicked that motherfucker out of the park, except for the dating thing, you know. But anyway, ladies, I really appreciate you. Um. I would like for everyone, if you have any projects that you would like to pub

I would like for you to talk about them. I am holding my uh collaboration mug with the Bedroom Bartender and Mantra mugs and it says Champagne two black owned businesses coming together like butt cheeks to make magic happen. Um. I stole that from Dave Chappelle. I think it was Dave Chapelle. And my mug says Champagne wishes and Prosecco budgets, and I love Champagne and I also love Prosecco. It's a big mug. I like it. Um. It's it makes me feel like I'm important because it's big, you know.

It makes me feel like I'm important, like I have an important job to do. And where can they find them? Gina? You can find that on my website, on the bedroom Bartender dot com and how much do they cost? There are twenty five dollars and there's five other things too, So go over there and see what what resonates with you? What do you say? Yeah, we do. There's one that says it is after five in my mugu wine is always in season. Whiskey is a breakfast drink, well water wine,

same difference that might be it. Yeah, all right, they're twenty five dollars. Again, go to www. Dot the bedroom bartender dot com. I will so put that in the show notes so that you can go and get yourself a mug in addition to buying a candle, because she has these candles there, or body scrub or body oil? Do you still have those? I still have some oil. I have basutuals as well. I have top shelf candles

and classic candles. See that she's got all the things that you need for good times and you will find that information in the show notes. Anybody else have anything they want to talk about that they got going on? Crickets? No, nothing, Angel? You are an event planner, Yeah, I am an event planner. So if you guys have any parties, engagements weddings, anything that you are in need of event planning services for

Leava Shari Events would love to be of service. And I can be found on Instagram at events by Lava Shari. Spell that out? Spell it out? Are you looking? Events? And then by in la a ter a b h e r I E okay, So Lava like lava out of the volcano. Yeah, so um it is a combination of my daughter and my mother's name. All my daughter's name is london Um london Ava, and my mother's name is Sherry. But when she liked to get fancied, you know, it's shetty, so I said, stands out, So I said Leava. Sure, okay,

I like that. I like that. So just events by There's no underscore or anything. Nope, all all together events by Lava Shary. All right Instagram. We found that's because I've been drinking this mold wine. Um events by Lava Shari Ava Shari, and I will put that in the show notes as well. You are located in the Baltimore metropolitan area in the DMV. Yes, I am okay, and I want to thank all of you ladies for taking your time and energy to share your experience with the

gratitude challenge with me. Do you guys think I should do this again? Yeah? Yes, absolutely absolutely yes, Okay for sure, Okay, all right, then I'll do it again and tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend. Get some more people up on here, and y'all can be pioneers. I want you, guys to know that you have blessed me.

I'm grateful for you because you have blessed me in ways that you don't even know, because you have kind of made me see a part of myself that that I know is there, but that I don't really acknowledge a lot, and I appreciate that. I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful that you took your time at night when you could be sleep or watching programs on television, or snuggling with your doggies or your kiddo's or drinking your

wine by yourself, whatever you like to do. But I appreciate you coming on here with me and talking to me about your experience. I appreciate it. I hope that it was a blessing to you the same day, whether it was a blessing to me. I hope that this gratitude challenge definitely. It sounds like it was a blessing to you. And I'm going to do it again because you guys said that it's a good idea. I'll just

have to figure out when I do it again. Maybe I'll do it on March first, March first to April first, leading up to my birth adversary, which is like they hand me my purse. Birthday, which is April first. She'll be two years old. I know she's a toddler. She's a toddler. So thank you again, guys. I appreciate you, and I hope Angel that you start listening to the podcast. Well, I appreciate that. And all of you go write a review for my show. Okay, Gina, if you don't, I

am going to slash your tires. Okay, I know where you live. I was at your house today picking up my mold wine recipe kit. Okay. Um, ladies, have a good evening, enjoy the rest of your week, and thank you for part being a part of my season three premiere show. Thank you so much. Have a good evening, ya, thank you, nic Hold up, friends again, I have some

news or I have some information. You just listen to this conversation that I have with these absolutely beautiful ladies, beautiful on the inside and on the outside, and their testimonies and the thing that they had to say about the gratitude challenge. But Essence told us about her favorite wine from Saint Michael's Winery, the Golly Wobbler, Gobby Wobbler, Golly Wobbler. She said that they did not ship. That

is not true. And putting together this episode while I was editing and doing the production and recording the other parts, because I do all of it by myself. This is a one man show, a one one man show. So while I was doing the production and getting the link, I went to look. I said, let me just check. So I went to check their website, Saint Michael's Vineyard or Wineries website to see if they did ship, and

they in fact do ship. They just may not ship to every state because of different laws around liquor and shipping liquor and states. So in the show notes you will find a link to Saint Michael's Winery. And if you want to try the wine that Essence suggested, the Golly Wobbler, It's probably a little sweet for my taste, so I'm going to pass. But if you want to try it, I put a link in the show notes so that you could check it out. Okay, and if you're local, you can find out what liquor stores or

stores or whatever carry it. You're welcome because I care. I take the extra step happy Golly Wobbler drinking. So for today's stray Faxed question, this is an interesting one as it is very pertinent and relevant to the times that we are living in. This question comes from Trina and Trina lives in good old Baltimore City, and Trina says, Haye me Walker big fan of the show and your perspective on topics, so I'm curious to see what your take is on my situation. Dating in the past two

years has been interesting, to say the least. I've been trying to date as safely as possible amidst COVID nineteen double masked, double vaxed, waxed and boosted. I've been casually texting and facetiming a mutual friend, and he mentioned taking me to dinner on the twenty fourth for this month friends going to dinner. I wonder if he meant it in like a dainty dainty way or in like a hey girl, let's go out, or like a hasis, let's

go out, or Yo, let's go out. Anyway, that was my sidebar I, of course casually slid in COVID nineteen restrictions, the rising numbers in all of that jazz to get the scoop on his vaccine status, Mimi, Not only is he an anti vaxer, he hates masks because of how restricting they are, even though he had COVID on Thanksgiving, Chelly crazy. Needless to say, I am a little perplexed. Regardless of his political, religious, and or societal beliefs, we have to stay safe. You know, what do you think

should I give it a try? I'm mostly leaning towards no, just because I think that's a perspective issue that I can't get passed. And again, I understand beliefs, but to be an anti vaxer, I don't know. Girl, God knows what could be next, Mimi, help a girl out, Give this first date a chance? Or is this a red flag? Check this out training? If you went to and or through all those precautions to ensure your safety, why would

you jeopardize it for a free dinner? Okay, because I'm almost positive that you can take yourself to dinner, and if you can't, go to the grocery store or find somebody else who was vaxed that can take you to dinner. Okay, at the end of the day, not saying that you have to judge people based on their vaccine status, but it's about safety. You have to think about yourself, the people that you love, the people that you're around, because you can still get it right and pass it on

other people. And I don't know if you have any elderly people around you, or people would compromise immune systems or underlying health conditions. At the end of the day, it's not worth it. I don't really got myself going on a date, like I don't think I would go out with a dude who's not vaccinated, and actually says I am recently back into the dating pool and I am on one of the dating apps, and that is

actually one of the things on your profile. Now. One of the things on the profile is whether or not you're vaccinated, and you can see that personally, I wouldn't do it. If he's a friend of yours, there's nothing wrong with being his friend. Another thing that you could do, though, is that if you really like them or you want to hang out with them. I mean, the only thing is that you live in Baltimore and it's the dead

of winter. I was gonna say you could do something outside, but I ain't even gonna lie with this new Omegatron variant, like it ain't playing games, it ain't playing fair. It ain't like the original the og COVID stream where you know you got to be in close contact. This junk right here is out of control. So personally, I was gonna say, maybe you could go like ice skating or go eat somewhere outside, but it's brick cole outside. Anybody trying to eat outside? The hell? What the hell? That's

my new favorite sound on social media. What the hell? I don't know? Says I would venture to say no, just no. If he gets vaccinated, and I would, I would. I'm asking for people's cards at this point. Are you vaccinated? Can I see your vaccination card? Because I can't play around. I have elderly people in my family, I have asthma, I work with kids, I work with elderly people or older people, you know, the older people on my staff. I'm not playing around, and quite frankly says, I don't

think you should either. It ain't that serious. And if he is your friend, he should understand. And if he doesn't kick the Bama to the curb, go out with somebody else that got a vaccination and that's that. And if he got a problem with him, tell him. I said, so why friends in Kim for today's quote fore we got to do better is from none other than Queen

Auntie Maya Angelou. And I was actually very intentional about everything that I did for this show, being the first show of twenty twenty two, and I wanted to make sure that everything that I discussed, everything that I brought up, everything that I talked about, everything that I shared with you guys was something that really really affected like my heart or my spirit in a positive way. And I can only hope that me sharing it with you kind

of like sprinkles. Think of like Michael Jackson and the Jackson five and the can You Feel It video where they sprinkled the fireworks and glitter all over the earth, all over the planet. That's how I look at it. That's how I look at me doing this show period. If you want me to be really honest, I'm throwing my sprinkles and my glitters out hoping that it touches somebody. And so this quote by Queen Auntie Maya Angelou is one that I want you to really think about, and

it is something that I want for my life. I want to always remember this every day for the next well it's January fifteenth, fifteen minus three hundred and sixty five or three hundred and fifty. So if you're listening on January fifteenth when the show is released, which I hope you are, for the next three hundred and fifty days, for the entire year, for every day actually for the rest of my life. I want to take this into consideration.

And the quote is I wish that I could do it Maya Angelou impersonation, because I would totally do it right now, but I will not even try. If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. Let's send in it for a second. If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. Don't stop dreaming, friends, and can dream as big as you can. Let it be a fantasy. Let it be something that you cannot in a million years, that you would not

ever think that could come true for you. Dream big because you deserve it, you are worth it. Just like the jam, the conversation that I had with the ladies where we talked about gratitude. Not necessarily the drink the poloma, but I am very intentional about the fact that that poloma has one hundred and eighty calories and I will not be drinking it. I'm gonna finish this four pack,

that's for sure. But the jam, the conversation, and you know this quote, I'm very intentional intentionality and intention is one of my words for twenty twenty two. Every year, my cousin Julia and my aunt and I we think of a word that we want to be our focus. And it dawned on me that I need to be more intentional about how I choose my word, because God gonna give you just what you ask for. The universe is gonna give you exactly what you ask for. What

you say you want, It's going to give it to you. Now, whether it how it's deciphered or how it's received is a different story, but asking you shall receive, so it being intentional intentionality, It's one of my words. The other two I will save for myself or for another episode. But I want you to dream big because I'm dreaming

big in twenty twenty two. I am being very intentional about my dreams, my thoughts, the things that I want for myself, the things that I want for the people around me, the things that I want for the people that I love. I am intentional about those things. And as Queen Auntie Maya Angelus said, one more time for the people in the back, if one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. All right, friends, and ken first and foremost, ain't nothing changed but the

weather and the numbers on the year. Okay. I want to, of course thank God first, because as we know, God is supreme, and I truly recognize, appreciate, and understand that I am blessed for the grace that God extends to my black ass every single day of my life. I am grateful for me, for Mimi. Mimi is grateful for Mimi, for all the hard work that I put in, for being consistent, for being determined, and for dreaming big, and for not being bound by my own limitations and fears.

I'm showing gratitude for me. Showing gratitude for oneself is a form of self care, and we all know that here at hand me my purse, we are staunch advocates for self care. I am thankful for my family, my friends, my friends and ken you guys, my supporters, and of course, most importantly, every single one of you out there that

is listening to this show. I love and appreciate you guys so much, and it is nothing short of an honor to share my time and my energy with you every single time that we get to do this, especially if you continue to come back and spend your time with me, because I recognize you ain't got to do this, you ain't got to listen to this show, but you do it. And because you do it, and I appreciate you,

and I am grateful. I look forward to the next time that we get to do this, and that will be on February, the first I know dominate the Year of our Lord, twenty twenty two. And before you go, I want you to hold on for a second, and before you hit that X or x it out of whatever streaming service you're using to listen to this, I want you to stop what you're doing, and if you haven't already done, so look for the subscribe or follow button and click on it if that is an option

on the streaming services where you are listening. I want you to get on over to Instagram and follow me at hand Me My Purse Underscore Podcasts, and you can also follow me on Twitter at HMMP Underscore Podcasts and on Facebook just search Handing My Purse podcast. I've been a lot more active on Twitter since the Christmas break. During winter break, I was a lot more active. So I'm gonna try to keep the momentum up and stay

on Twitter and you know, keep this party going. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, Stitch your Pandora, or any other medium that allows you to do so, please take the time out to rate the show or give it a thumbs up. Be sure to share hand Me my Purse with your friends, loved ones, and even people you don't like, because the best way for people to find out about the show is by you, guys telling them all about it. So tell a friend to tell to

what tell a friend? Also, friends and ken take a few minutes please to just leave a review of the show, like sometimes I'll hear from you guys and I'm totally shocked that people listen to it. I mean, like, I know, you know, I look at my own download number, so I know somebody is listening. People are listening all over the world. Big shout out to Germany because twenty twenty one Germany was tuned in, Saint Croix in the Virgin

Islands was tuned in. It's probably you, saida I believe that it is, but maybe you told a friend to tell a friend, and maybe it's somebody else. I don't know. Saint Croix, the Bahamas all the time, Australia, Germany, Canada all the time shows hand me my purse love. Shout out to you, Jabari and somebody else. It's not just you, but somebody else is listening. But shout out to you. Shout out to Germany. I don't know a Brazil. I don't know who's listening in Germany, but shout out to you.

Reach out to me. I want to know who you are in Germany, in Frankfurt that is consistently listening to the show. I appreciate it, and it may not. I don't think it's just one person, because just based on the numbers, it's not. But reach out please, I want to know who you are. Please anyway, take a few minutes to leave a review for the show. Send me a DM on Instagram. If you don't want to leave it on Apple Podcasts, send me a DM on Twitter, comment under a Facebook post, even if it's your friend

or loved one of mine. Leave it on my personal Facebook page. Send me a DM on Facebook, or take the traditional route and leave an actual formal review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. I would truly appreciate it because hearing from you really warms my heart and it makes me smile, and it makes me feel good about the work that I'm doing. It is kind of like fuel

to keep this car, this train, this machine going. So remember subscribe and or fall of the show so that you're the first to know when I drop a new episode, which is the first and fifteenth of every month. Follow hand me my Purse on social media, rate and review the show, and tell your friends and your ken about the show. Show notes are always available at hand me my Purse dot busprout dot com, and I highly suggest that you get into the habit of reading the show notes.

They have all the links to the things that I talk about in the show. Also just an fyi, the opening and closing theme music is provided by none other than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Please, friends and can submit your questions for the straight fact segment to Hello at hand Me My Purse dot com or send me a DM on Instagram or Twitter. Who knows your question may be the next one featured on an upcoming show.

And don't you ever forget. You can expect a brand new episode of Hand Me My Purse the podcast on the first and fifteenth of every single month, so the same way you expected those checks on the first and the fifteenth early in the morning. You already know your girl is gonna have you covered on those days again the first and fifteenth of every month on your podcast

streaming services such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher. These are for my international friends and can and anywhere else you may even think that you can find it, or you can just go straight to my bus Sproute website and find it there. I look forward to you, looking forward to listening and on my list