Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 237

A listener production.

Crocks rocks, prehistoric animals capable of leaping from the water to eat a raw chicken off a stick, to the delight of tourists in a nearby boat. Apart from the chicken, a situation in which everyone wins. All. So you think these displays have been the lifeblood of two of the Northern Territory's proudest businesses for decades spectacular croc jumping tours

We decided to go on a crocodile jumping to jumping.

Yes, you get dirt bikes and you jump over.

No no no, you're in a boat and the crocs do the jumping.

The naming of the two tours and their origins was intriguing.

There were two tours to choose from, a company called the Original Croc Jumping Tour. Okay, that's a whole lot of chickens. A lot more original.

Content.

Or its direct competitor spectacular croc jumping tour.

If you were opening a one of a kind tour, you would never think to call it original first. Yes, without competition, and you could never call it original if you were second to market because you're not.

Yes, and it was fun to imagine some decades old feud at two ends of a bridge over the Adelaide River.

If it's war, it's war. We're going to call ourselves the original croc jumping tours brackets. Who also happened to be spectators.

Yeah.

Oh, or to go extra teeth like to remove your hands completely of any wrongdoing. You just include quotes from customers that all include the word spectacular. Like the most spectacular thing I've ever seen. Boy oh boy. Now this is spectacular. I've never seen anything so spectacular.

But the boys soon discovered that reality would deliver them. Just the river rivalry they were after.

I got an anonymous tip that came in my side. The fence. She says. Look, I work in the territory in the tourism game and they are big rivals, these two companies. Yeah, we've got a trade show each year and they have to separate them. So there's no beef at the trade show.

It's a rivalry, but.

It's not like like it's not a dictatorship. Where are you going to go in? Like someone's going to get shot for crossing the line. Like it's not going to happen like that. In saying that, there definitely would be a like, you don't come on my turf. I don't go on your turf. There's an understanding. It's like the DMZ, you're not crossing the line.

And the bombshells from Bill didn't end there.

The original fun fact is not actually the original.

Oh.

Oh, hang on, this is huge.

Hang on, hang on a second. So is spectacular. The original spectacular.

Is the original.

Then what is going on with the rail? How are the original calling themselves the original?

Your guess would be as good as mine.

Information started to come in from informants left, right and centre and some clarification was offered.

There was two going at it Frontier and Adelaide River. Frontier went out of business to Adelaide River. Have called themselves a wrench at all, but they've only slapped original on the on their name.

When in spectacular.

Came it came on so but they still more original than spectacular I think so.

That's splitting hairs. But and also that's obviously not as catchy a slogan.

No. Yeah.

More original, more original than the other guys. Maybe not the original, but certainly more original. Now you get into shades of originality. That is interesting. But the Croc.

Wars got even more interesting with information from a source deep within the NT government.

Back in the day, things got so bad between the operators we had to officially step in and mediate. The bridge is in fact now an official no man's land and neither shall pass onto other side. The person who said that there is a big rub between the operators wasn't exaggerating. Back in the old territory days, there were lots of shenanigans going on between them.

And if this show loves anything, it's shenanigans.

Sources have reported to me that in around the Covid times, there was some border dealings in shenanigans with signs.

Oh, so the.

Defacing of signs or.

The defacing of signs? Allegedly, the.

Pods insider Kip also got some Intel of incursions into each other's territory. Original.

What they said to me was they're happy where they are, but they do go north from time to time. Yep, spectacular. Only went up north from what I could see.

You get the feeling from spectacular that when original does go north of the bridge that's kicking the hornet's nest a bit and spectacular. Doesn't like that.

That's the feeling on the water hand. Yeah.

In any investigation, misinformation sows doubt and insecurities can start to rise. But anonymous emails help steady the boat.

Yes. Don't give up on the croc thing. You're closer than you think. It's just it's out there and it's simmering. Yes. And people are thinking about it.

And the more the boys thought about it, the more they knew what they had to do.

Wouldn't it be an incredible thing? They're in the hat of the Hamish Nandy show. If we could travel to the territory and negotiate a peace deal.

Bring peace to the region.

To the territories. That's our best shot at a Nobel Peace Prize.

Like bringing down the Berlin Wall. Do we bring down the bridge?

Oh, no. No, you need that. You need that. It's one of them anyway.

And the last thing we've got to say is may the bridge forever be down. What are you doing? That bridge, you girls.

Having decided not to blow it up, the bridge did seem like a focal point.

We hold some sort of party on the bridge in the middle of the bridge. They come and shake hands. The two tours and then the town celebrates and we all party into the night.

It's like it's North Korea. It's very north South Korea that you meet. Or Berlin really barely feels like a bridge.

Are you guys envisaging.

Basically the bridge from like Cold War movies between East and West Berlin?

Yeah, right. It's like a very well used highway.

Like it's a road.

Bridge. It's a road bridge. Cars like we're in the middle of it. Cars are going at 130.

I'm right. It's a freeway. Yeah.

It's like it's quite a.

I feel like a jack. But I still like the idea that maybe made under the bridge. Can we do that and bury a hatchet?

That's where the crocs live.

And so a peace mission was decided upon. Flights were booked, sunset jet ski tours were arranged. The whole team was Darwin bound on the first weekend in November until.

Press release from the original Adelaide River Queen jumping croc cruises.

So the original the original. The original for short.

Yep the original it is the original jumping crocodile cruises will close on the 31st of October 2023, after 38 years of operation on the Adelaide River.

Unbelievable.

We still going? We just take your holiday. I mean.

We booked it and we got so excited. We were looking at, like, again, it's like nothing.

It's really the first for St Peter out. Usually where.

It is, it is.

In charge of our Peter out.

We're for the first time ever where the opposite of a Peter out. We're we're the ones clinging on and someone else has opened the door in Peter's left hand.

Cling on. They did. They found any excuse to go.

But it doesn't necessarily mean that we can't create peace between the two businesses. There'd be a nice way to close.

One doesn't exist.

Yeah.

It does seem like an easy peace deal. Just. Just as he's taking his cardboard box full of stuff to his car. And, Tony, do you agree to peace? Yeah, mate. Whatever. See it? Well, we got it, we got it, we got peace. Sure, mate. Have 100 of them. You beauty. We did it. We did it.

But nothing would stand in the way of these brave warriors of peace.

We've had to think about it. And we're still going to go up. Yay!

Jack wants the tour. Jack wants the chances.

And what we'll do up there, we don't know. Will we.

Be out of.

Crowbar? Some kind of peace talks and claim a triumph?

Probably so. Their mission was clear.

Peace in the north. Peace in the north. Hear ye, hear ye. Peace in the north.

And no one could tell them otherwise.

We got accused on email of forging forth with this for the want of a fun trip to Darwin. Now that could not be what? Yeah.

Because of the jet ski tours. Yeah.

Luckily that could not be further from.

Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Here's me with a wife and two kids. Wife and two kids. I'm like, oh, let me, you know, I'm just going to go to Darwin just because we're sitting in the casino, you know, that's that is that's gross. That's gross. But you're not the only one crying. I'm crying because that's a really hurtful thing to say. Oh, boy. And that's what these teeth represent. These tears are for. And you do this for small business. Peace. And you get a kiss. I mean, just being trivial anyway.

And so our heroes set forth on their journey north.

We will not rest until peace is bought on Saturday afternoon. Then we will not rest because doing the biggest thing. But then we will rest and then we'll go home. You. You for peace. I've got.

We join our worries of peace now at the Howard Springs Tavern outside Darwin, where they're chatting to the locals as they wait for their Palmer and chips.

Hey, Miss Hot, it's hot.

We're here in the Howard Springs in the. Howdy. I've always just called it the howdy. We're sitting with Renee. Renee, how are you going? I'm marvelous.

I'm marvelous. Yes.

Now, one of the.

Bartenders here, and I. Have you heard of spectacular jumping croc tours?

I have, I have, it's one of the good ones.

What about the original Jumping Croc tour?

Yeah, it's one of the better ones as well. Okay, great.

They've been feuding for many, many years.

They have you do you know the feud? Yes. Yeah, they're all feud.

Well, I mean, we heard about the feud. Obviously we're just lowly East Coasters, but we heard about the feud and we've been following it all year.

Wow.

Now, Renee, we've come here to negotiate a peace between original and spectacular.

Oh, wow. This is interesting.

Do you think that's achievable?

I think if anybody can do it, you guys can. Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah. Do you feel like the territories behind us as we try.

And I feel like 100%. I live under a rock and I'm sure everybody else knows what you're doing, but 100%. If you can make these guys sort that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be great. Well, as.

Soon as I walked in, the jack who works behind the bar, he looked at me and said, you're here for peace. And I said, yeah, that's exactly what we're doing, mate. So, Renee, we wanted to get a territorial and a member of of this fine establishment want to get their blessing as we head out because our next stop, we're heading out to the river.

Well, you're going to need it. You're going to need my blessings. Yeah, you need my blessing. Shenanigans.

Have you heard of the what? Have you heard about the feud?

No, I just heard it. Nobody can get along.

Right.

So it's just. And then it's devolved into possibly dirty tricks. And the thing is, that is fertile ground for peace, isn't it? We're know. So when no one can get along. I mean, you would have seen a few scuffles here at the bar over the years.

Every Wednesday night. Why Wednesdays.

Fight night.

Wednesday night. Titty night. Oh. It brings out the best in everyone. Gotcha. All the worst. Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Well, I'll tell you what. That's goodness. Plan B.

Thank goodness we're not trying to solve this thing and get a peace deal done on a Wednesday.

Yeah. You don't want to keep.

It to a Saturday.

As they say at the UN. Pointless trying to negotiate. Peace on titty. No, you wait till Thursday lunchtime when everyone's cool down. All right. Renee.

Thank you. We had some bad news earlier in the week. In fact, I think we're going to play that for everybody. Yeah, so.

We're heading out to negotiate peace between Wes and Tony. And we hadn't spoken to Tony from original. Yeah, we heard earlier in the week a couple of days ago, Tony wanted to talk and we jumped into the studio and had a chat to Tony. Have a listen to this for now.

An emergency jump back into the studio today, guys. Lovely to see you both. Yeah.

Good to see you. This warrants it. Yeah.

People will be hearing this knowing that we're already in Darwin. Yeah, but a vital piece of the puzzle is not going to be there.

And we thought, let's capture this moment because I never thought that this was going to play out like a true crime podcast. But it's going to have those pieces, isn't it? We have to, like, have the phone calls and the bits of evidence and the pieces of the journey. This is the bit where we've just found out that as we are about to head in a couple of days to Darwin to visit the owners of spectacular croc jumping tours, that's Wes and original croc jumping tours. That's

It turns out that he's on Sunshine Coast. He's way.

Yeah, but. Can we do something still? I mean, if Covid taught us anything, you don't actually have to be in the physical location. Well, we're going to be there. We'll be in Darwin. And I think we've still got a commitment from Wes to join us in neutral territory between the two businesses.

I'm not sure if Wes knows that Tony's not going to be there in person, but.

Don't tell Wes because we need Wes to show up because we're going to look like absolute idiots if we. We fly all the way up from the eastern coast. We're the only two guys standing out there in a field, and Jack's holding a laptop or something, and no one's there.

Well, we've had further contact with Tony. He's happy to take a call from us. That's what we've raised back in the studio. Let's give him a buzz now and find the lay of the land. This is the owner of original.

What are we trying to get out of him? Just a commitment. Would he, like, zoom in or face to piece? Is he open? Yeah. And that's it. Like, is he open to piece? Would he virtually join this tiny rooms?

Tony, it's Hamish and Andy here.

Yeah. Same as in Andy.

Get a tiny. What an honor to speak to you, sir.

Oh, well, I wouldn't say it's a real honor. A lot of people would think it's a bit downmarket.

Never mind. Not us, mate, for us. Time. We've dedicated a lot of time to this. We've found out that you. You're not going to be there on what we know.

Okay. So turn. We are heading up. We're going to be in Darwin on Saturday to hold a peace summit, a small business peace summit, of which you would have been and are a 50% of the esteemed guests at the peace summit between original croc jumping and spectacular croc jumping. Given that you can't be there, can we just ask you this if you had have been in town, would you have been open to attending the Peace Summit?

Um, I wish you guys had a talk to me way back in the early days, because it weren't a lot particular. Well, well, spectacular.

We'd love to follow this whole journey, but we only came along in the 80s. Tony.

Our parents would have found it weird as two four year olds charged off up north with some recording gear.

Tony, tell me the truth. Is it a publicity stunt or are you actually closing it down?

Yeah, we don't do publicity stunts.

Okay.

All right. So really. Okay, so the situation has got untenable for you there on the river, and you're closing it down, and we read your press release. You make a lot of great points for safety reasons. And that's

Oh, I did more than that.

What was your best shenanigan? Tony, can you tell us now? Now that you've closed down, what was your best shenanigan?

Well, it wasn't a shenanigan. It was. It was self defense. Oh, basically. Yeah, they put up a sign, we put up a sign to counter, you know, and it just went on until the the corner of Anzac Avenue was pretty much all signs.

Saying things like.

They never sign. You put a sign in front of that, they put a sign in front of that and you put another sign. Yeah, I heard a rumor that you put a sign up their driveway that said, wrong way. Turn back.

There.

Yeah, yeah, that was that was the frontier days. Yeah. Good. We had it. We had a sign more in the frontier days too, because they were right next door.

Okay.

It's kind of the wrong way to go. It was it was very effective.

Wrong way. Go. I love that. Have you got any other tales for us? Because what else?

What did they do to you? What did they what where was the what was the dirtiest trick they did to you?

Oh.

You know, the the problem, I guess, was the fact that. You know, we could see a very early on that it wasn't going to work outside of the bridge. I think I added it up one day there was 13 cruisers went up. Yeah. And you can only feed crocodiles so often? Yep. Yeah. Now, if a crocodile didn't jump, you didn't have a product.

Yeah, exactly.

They're eating for pigs. They don't need to jump.

Yeah, exactly. There's. It's just it doesn't work, you know, and it kind of. If you've never seen it before, you can sort of say. Oh, yeah, well, that was really good. But, you know, crocodile might slip a metre or so out of the water and say, oh, you know, get a good photo of that. But, you know, in this day and age, like this, this last year, there's, there was 5 or 6 males competing for, for space

Wow.

You know, and I mean, that's pretty spectacular. Yeah.

Which is the other name, but and so.

Completeness, complete misuse of words.

But was was there ever a situation where, where one company was like feeding the crocs too much so they wouldn't jump for the other company?

Well, the behaviour was that there was only one boat that they had that could get under the bridge. Yeah. And then from time to time they would come under the bridge and they would make a nuisance of themselves.

Yeah. In what way? Just feed the crowd.

Well, it's not just feed the crocs. It's. It's actually shadowing our vessels and getting in front of them. You know, seeing a croc out in the distance and getting in front of them. Oh.

Crocodiles problems.

Yeah. That's it.

Flying croc hogs. Well, are you familiar with Wes over at Spectacular? Tony?

Yeah, I know, yeah.

Okay, well, he would be the other participant in this summit that we're holding. Would you be willing? I know you're going to be on the Sunshine Coast, but would you be willing to zoom in, like, virtually? Join us, perhaps via zoom or FaceTime to sit down, look Wes in the eye and just go? It's been a wild ride, but I officially come here in the name of peace, and you give each other one compliment and we all shake hands and peace is struck in the north. Um.

It I guess I don't know. I'd probably like to think that one through a little bit.

All right. Yeah, you can take that on notice and have a think about it. And and then hopefully on Saturday at around about 330 we hear you log in. And I mean, if you'd like Tony to make it even feel like you're there, we could get a mannequin and replace the head with a computer. So it's just your head and we could dress the mannequin like you dress. How? What kind of outfit do you normally wear?

So I'm a dreadful dresser. Okay. Um. No.

Would that would that help?

No. Not really.

Well, you still might do that. I mean, just for the. Just for the spectacle.

It would look great.

Yeah, you do that, we'll get a mannequin. Head is a laptop. You pop up there. And what we're really. Ideally the scenario would be, we'll say a few short remarks, a formal recognizing that any previous shenanigans have now been put to bed to close the chapter to this great territory story.

Mm hmm. Leave it hanging with me till Friday.

Yeah.

Can I say it's not a no? You might join us on Saturday.

Yeah I might. Yeah. I think that's probably the best way to do it. And I'll. I'll make a decision to what I'm going to do probably Friday night. So that is still you know, it doesn't it gives you enough time to.

I think. Yeah. Give it to give it.

Give the story a decent burial.

Well, we'll.

We'll be there. We'll be there in the dry scrub land on Saturday afternoon. We'll hopefully still have Wes. We'll wait for your call. Obviously, we can't force your attendance, but you know where to find us at 330 on Saturday afternoon.

Yeah, well, that's that's probably the best way.

Love it. Peace is always a positive step.

Thanks so much, mate, for taking our call. We will wait with bated breath to see what happens on the weekend. But take care yourself, mate. Okay. All right.

Good on your time. Bye.

Take em by facing the north.

Oh, I thought it was going to be more of a yes. Yes. I'll be honest with you. All righty. Thought it was a formality, to be honest. Exciting.

So Tony, the owner of original, had made a lukewarm sort of definitely, maybe commitment to join the boys on zoom at 330 Saturday for peace talks with Wes.

I don't know. I'd probably like to think that one through a little bit.

And he really liked the idea of the mannequin dressed like him with an iPad for a face. Oh, surely it was all pointing to him turning up on zoom?

Yeah, I might.

Well, that's good enough for this podcast. So it was time to hit the dirt roads out to spectacular croc jumping tours to try and lock in. Wes.

All right. And we've just pulled down the three kilometer corrugated dirt track to your liking. Not great to get here to spectacular croc jumping tours. Yes.

Jack keeps asking, can we stay till Wednesday? And I don't know why.

Jack. Why? What's happening Wednesday night at the. At the pub? No. Why do you want. Why did you book a flight back for Wednesday morning and ask if you could do your radio show from here on Thursday? I don't know what's not. What's chippy night that you can't tell. Oh, I know what you were saying. I mean.

I actually don't know what happens on Wednesday night. Oh, I heard.

You don't have to do your rehearsals to us. Just say it for the first time to Bianca, and just say it as if you believe it.

Jack. Well, you weren't there when we heard from Renee. No, but.

From from the gig. Schoolboy giggling up the front, guessing what it's about.

I mean, it was one of the great lines, but anyway, here we are. We're here. It's Saturday, so tops are on. We're here unfortunately for tops on Saturday. Although I mean tops are on, but sleeves are never on in the territory. We look like an absolute couple. We look like a carload of idiots for walking around in t shirts instead of singlets.

However, yeah, we are not playing favorites here, but we want to experience a tour. And of course original has shut down last weekend.

So being convenient timing of our piece to it, we want.

To confirm with the businesses, but where's is here? And that he'll come to the peace treaty meeting. Now here's another update. We haven't heard from Tony, he said. He said Trish, I'll think about it. He said he'd tell us Friday night. He hasn't. He said he's still thinking about it. We're trying to make the 330 timeline. All right.

So here we are. We're at Spectre. I can't believe we've talked about this place all year. Spectacular croc jumping tours. We're in the car park. We're about to go, and we're about to see a croc jump out of the water for a chicken on a stick. Get fired up. Yeah, get fired up about the concept. I mean, that's the that's the business side of things.

And here, where's his side.

Of the story? Where's face to face? Like a lot is about to happen. We're going to hear where's the side of the story. Reconfirm reconfirmed that it's 330 at the blocks by the way. Yep I got the box 330. That is when the peace talks are on. We've been to the pub. We've met Renee. Yes. Let's go meet with. Let's see a croc jump. Yeah. Great. How are you feeling, Jack? What do you.

Need? This is going.

To sound a bit weak, but when the road out here was really bumpy, I've actually hurt my neck well.

We know we're trying to win a peace prize. We just do not hear many peace convoys go. We. I'm sorry, a North Korea. I've got a I'm not going to be able to make it. I stubbed my toe.

I'm just finding it hard to look as far left as I can. Right.

So which which side.

Of the bus would you like to. Which would you like us to ask for?

Which side of the boat you need to be on there?

Well, you.

Use keep a lookout on my left side for Crocs, I guess because I can't.

They don't come out. You don't have to protect yourself.

So would you like to? Why don't you just sit facing out and we'll ask if the crocodiles could leap up on the side of the boat you're on. Yeah, well.

I can if I need to see. I can see him on any side just by turning my whole body. But I can't. I can't move my neck as freely as I usually do.

Sorry.

I thought it just I thought.

That's good to know. It's good.

Some tactic to get us to come back on Wednesday.

I know the real test. Bring him back on Wednesday and put them to his left. Oh, see the nicks better. It's whipping all over the place down post.

All right, let's go.

All right, you brave souls. Let's go.

Oh, now, Wounded Warriors of peace jumped on board a spectacular boat and headed out onto the Adelaide River, where they were joined by the CEO of spectacular.

Well, what a spectacular day for it. So always a good day out on the river, mate. Spectacular. We. It feels wild to be here after so much, so much. Thinking about this day. We're finally on the river. We were on board. Spectacular croc jumping to us. Not because we're playing favorites.

Just because you're open, you're. Yeah.

First thing we have to do is we say we saw the bridge. Now we obviously veered straight away from the bridge.

We went north. That's a good thing. Abiding by the rules. Absolutely. When did the bridge rule come in? Long before I took over with spectacular. So I've been here for five years. Yeah. And what do you think brought on the bridge rule? Uh, I've heard lots of different stories. And when I took over here, I've got email.

Chains that go back many, many years. Give us your best.

The crocodile. Crocodile? Oh.

Thank you, Jack.

Local. It's out to. It's it's out to Jack's. Right. That's how he saw it.

Local Territorians. Jack post. Always on the lookout. Good spot. Jacko.

No, as far as I'm aware, there was a previous manager here between the previous owners, a spectacular, and a Ricky Aboriginal Corporation taking it over. There was a great deal of fighting between the two of them, and it resulted in all sorts of silliness. Yeah.

Give us the top three silly incidents.

Well, it's far as I'm aware that particular altercation wound up with original coming down below the bridge about 15 minutes before each each tour to basically fill up the crocodiles at this end of the river with food before our boats went out.

Oh, and a full croc won't jump.

Well, basically, there's no point if you've already been already had a fed, why would you go and do some more work?

Yeah, that's a good sneaky trick.

So that apparently went on for a while, and that resulted in all sorts of fights and bits and pieces.

Jack, is that the crocodile you called? Yeah, it's like a goanna.

Technically cook it all like it's a baby, right?

Well, in some, in some respects harder to to point out, Jacko. So that would be not as exciting.

How old is that, crocodile?

Was I genuinely. It could be. I'd say under ten minutes. Maybe under 3 or 4 years. What do you reckon, Wookie? Yeah, 2 to 3 at most.

Yeah. Really?

Okay. So sorry we were. That gives it some realism though, doesn't it? Having a chat with the crocodile, we.

Just randomly turn up.

We heard from a bloke at the pub. Where's that? That said, there was a sideswipe from one boat to another at one point. Does that ever happen?

I'm not aware of anything. He thought it.

Was like in the 90s.

No? Well, it could well be the I personally work for for Sony down at original.

Really? You jumped ship? Well, literally 20 years ago, five.

26 years ago.

Okay.

Um.

Were you part of the shenanigans at original?

Yeah, yeah. So I was loyal to a paycheck.

Okay, so you've conducted operations on both sides.

I did, for a little while. I was.

I was.

Mercenary.

Well, yeah. Look, I want a paycheck.

Yeah, well, we get it. What?

What did you do?

Things like? We had.

It used to have a huge.

Road sign on the back of a vehicle, and it was really silly, but we used to have to go down and park at our front gate every drive. The 3 or 4 K's down the road every day and park it at our front gate.

I think it's.

Spectacular. Spectacular.

So you cover their sign? Yeah, yeah, great. Because we notice out on the highway now coming in, there's still a sign from original saying. As you head down here to spectacular, there's a sign that goes, if you're looking for original, turn around and go another three kilometres.

That's a bugbear of mine.

That's how when you were coming into a live situation that needs peace, when you've got competing signs steering each other away from each other's businesses.

The sign, the sign thing has always been a constant fight between the two of them. At one stage, one of the operators here, I said, had 16 road signs in a two kilometre space.

It seems to me you know how they talk about like, oh, look, Russia and America might not go to war, but there'll be a cyber war. Yeah, right. It seems they sign wars. This is a sign of cyber war. This seems like that.

As a sign. Sign? Arms race. Yeah.

This seems like the main weapon is signs and signage. Yeah, it is like cross, isn't it? Very territorial. Just fighting for your patch of river.

I'll give him full credit for some of the things that he's done in the past.

How is your relationship with him now?

It's not bad, like I. I get on all right, like I don't have to duck the next time I see him. Well, we.

Hope that could be this afternoon. Whereas because we're here, we're on the river. We've come to make peace. Even though he's not in business currently, we still think peace is a worthy pursuit.

Oh, absolutely.

Bygones.

Do you think it is?

Well he does, yes.

We said yes. So it's not just a trip so we can come up here and see crocodiles and ride jet skis and stay at the casino. It's a real peace trip, and we want it to happen this afternoon in about about half an hour's time. All right, now we've got our location. You're willing to be there is. Absolutely. Tony says he's thinking about it.

That'll be interesting.

I've got five different plaques that will celebrate the various outcomes depending on whether or not Tony was there. But I needed you there, whereas we needed you there because we can't have a peace deal without any side of the parties there.

Let's let's do it.

Let's do it. Let's do it. All right. We'll finish the tour. We'll hop off and go and get organised. Fingers crossed Tony shows up. Let it be known. We can still do a peace deal with one side. Andy, do you agree?

Oh, totally. And. And can I just say spectacular out here?

It is spectacular out here. Can't recommend it. Hollywood.

Well it's a very original tour.

Well that is debatable, but. All right. Thanks, boys. We'll see you at the peace deal.

All right.

Look forward to this, mate.

To recap, the Hamish and Andy podcast is on an epic mission in the Northern Territory to bring peace in the North and end a decades long feud between two Jumping Croc tours. Anticipation was high for the 3:30 p.m. Peace Summit, which was to be attended by Wes from spectacular. Absolutely. And maybe by Tony from original.

Yeah, I might.

So in the shadow of the disputed Territory Bridge, we join our intrepid peace mission from the carpark of the recently closed original croc jumping tours.

Where the original. Yeah. Are you nervous?

Yeah, we can see. We can see. The boarded up original croc jumping to is in the background.

Wes was happy to come to original turf. He's happy to play an away game, which was nice of him.

Yeah, especially because the guy who's playing a home game isn't here.

That is rare. Isn't it rare for the home team to take a holiday? Yeah, for the big match. However, we push on with negotiations. Andy.

15 minutes. We've got, by the way, 15 minutes. And then we either we either know he meant to call him or 15 minutes, he either picks up or he doesn't.

Pace or not, I can't believe. Just take a moment for a second to think about how long this has been and how many options we had to Peter this thing out and we didn't take him. That's really like, that's one victory for for the show, isn't it? Is there a plaque.

That reflects that.

The blocks are pretty triumphant, right? Okay. Well here's the here's the thing. Yeah. I got us five plaques that I think cover off most of the permutations that we could face. I realized I didn't have one that covers off with saying I'm not coming either. Okay. But you know what? I might I might actually have that. Okay. Plaque number one, if things go really well, we will lay this plaque down in 15 minutes time on this site.

Keep that on hand because that's the one.

That's the one. That's what we hope to lay down as we try.

Tony for the fifth time.

Yeah.

He hasn't picked up. So we can start to probably put that plaque back.

If we can't get Tony on the phone, we then move to this. On this site, a small business piece was proposed by the Hamish Nandi Podcast and two local croc jumping operations. Sadly, due to logistical difficulties, not everyone could be present to achieve a definitive result. But the feeling on this day was certainly one of peace which counts. Great date of feeling mid to late 2023. Lock number three. Yes,

Neither of them rock up.

That's if neither of them rock up. And it's also if they turn up and they say, where's they're not that keen.

Yeah. Or they don't give compliments or something.

So they're not willing to follow through on all the stipulations of the piece. But we can still say without lying, it was discussed and celebrated as a concept.

If one calls the other one, that's. Yeah, yeah, that's what we're reaching for because.

We'll be celebrating pieces of concept. Yes. And the discussions were facilitated by us. So that's a good note. I feel like we've got all.

Bases covered, but I still see two.

More plaques. Yeah. Okay. On this site, plaques. Number four, a small business piece was rejected by one or more parties involved in the podcast. And that's more if we want to go honest broker in the piece in the North croc jumping business peace talks date of rejection. This is actually the only plaque that covers a flat out loss.

Yeah.

Which I just thought of. Throw it in there as an option. I'm not I'm not a fan of it because it paints us like a failure. Failure? Yeah. But I don't mind. The idea.

Is not I don't.

Mind the idea of being the world's, I would say only plaque that commemorates.

Something that it.

Didn't like.

On this site. We invited the Prime Minister to come and open the building. He couldn't make it. I like the idea of a very honest. That's good. Yes, final plaque is just the best. Not lying I could think of. Okay, right. This makes it sound no matter what the result. This

And I get a good feeling that we will keep.

Well, let's just see which one we go with.

Yes. Well, let's set up a table outside. We've got a mannequin. Yeah.

You got a mannequin. We're going to gaffer tape the iPad to its head.

And I think we've got the best replica we can of Tony's clothes, so I think we might not even tell the difference.

Oh, yeah, he should fall for it. You guys ready to bring peace to the north? Yes, yes, yes, boys.

Peace to all. Peace to us. Jet ski to. It is also into our jet ski.

Soon. Then we go check in at the castle. Okay?

And so it was time. Mannequin in place. Zoom meeting online. Agents of peace at the ready. All the boys needed now was both Tony and Wes to come together in the name of peace in the North.

Here we are. We're at the negotiating table. Where's? He's not here yet. The zoom waiting room is waiting. Ready? We're just. We've just set everything up. We've got a giant crocs skull on the table. I think.

A perfectly portioned mannequin for Tony with a shirt that he would normally wear.

And iPad gaffer taped to the head of the mannequins.

Where's this arriving? Yes. God, yes, it would have. That would have been the all time stitch up if he just told us to our face that he was going to come and then didn't turn up.

We have the plaque for it though we do have. We do the plaque. We have the plaque for it. What have we got, Jack? You've got the plaques.

I've got all five plaques. And from here we've got a great view of the actual bridge as well, which is the dividing point between the two. You can understand it to us, Jack.

Understand why now? We wouldn't do a meeting on it. It's like a thoroughfare, semi-trailer freeway. It'd be.

No make no sense for this table. And these chairs set up to be in the middle of the bridge?

No. What? It makes sense for you to be strapping C4 to it right now to blow it up the.

I don't know, having been here and seeing that people use it to get from one side of the river to the other, I don't think we should blow it up. One of those.

Bridges, Jack has positioned himself on a folding chair so he can look directly at the bridge without having to turn to his left.

Still nursing that slight neck injury.

He's getting better, though.

That's good. He comes with.

It. Comes with thank you mate.

Thank you for coming to the talks.

We have two minutes from when we said we'd try and connect Tony if he decides to connect, whereas just quickly. Does that look a lot like Tony?

Yeah. If you squint hard enough. Yeah, that's pretty close.

A shirt like that.

Okay. We've set up a zoom. He said he'd lock. Oh my God.

Oh, there we are. Tony, can you hear us?

I certainly can.

Oh my God.

Tony, can you see us? Yes. And you've got where's here.

Oh yeah. Mr. Bloom, I.

Go where's there two. Yeah.

Wait. How are you, buddy?

Good.

Where's. Jeez.

This is beautiful. This is. This is lovely.

Just quickly. Tony, how are you feeling? How are the emotions?

Oh, look, I guess I've got to say I'm bored. Hell as hell. Just waiting for you to turn up.

Well, we first want to recognize both of you gentlemen, the great Spirit and the goodwill. With you've shown coming together to sit here at these two plastic outdoor tables covered by an official cloth. We followed the dramas. Our listeners have followed the dramas and the stories, the stories of decades of shenanigans. But today, I think there's a wonderful mood in the air as we put that all to bed. Andy.

Yes, we thought for ease. Gentlemen, we're going to read out something kind of like a marriage, and all you have to do is say, I do, and I do. So, Hamish, you've got the the details there. Are you ready to read that out?

We'll start with you. Where's where's do you agree that all small business shenanigans between spectacular and original, up to and especially including sign based warfare, are officially in the past?

Absolutely.

We have won.

I have won, Tony.

Tony, do you agree that all small business based shenanigans between spectacular and original, up to and especially including sign based warfare, are officially in the past?

Well, yeah, they are.

Just the where they are was fine. That's just against.

Yes. Okay. We got two yeses now.

Now the final bit of the peace process is the passing of a compliment from one to the other. Wes, we'll start with you. Do you have a compliment for Tony?

You look fantastic, Tony.

That's great.

Okay. That's nice, that's lovely.

Tony.

Tony, do you.

Have a compliment for where's.

Where's is.

The best operator on the north side of the bridge. And I'm the best operator on the south side.

Yeah, I reckon that's pretty good.

You that compliment.

Thank you. Tony.

Since the pledge has been agreed to and the compliments have been exchanged.

One last thing to Hamish. Would you remove Tony's so words can shake it? Yeah.

Can do. Sorry about this time.

I think you may drop him if you go that way, boys. There we go.

Perfect. And, Tony, would you mind just mimicking handshaking just so it looks like you are as well. Just reach out with your lovely. Okay.

By the power vested in us as peace envoys, we now declare taste in the north.

Taste in the north. There's a peace in the north. I did not expect Tony to be triumphantly raising his arm up. Joan, you're a legend. Whoa!

So, with peace very much intact. And the mannequin? Less so, all that remained was to lay a plaque commemorating the heroic efforts of our peace force in the north.

What plaque did you choose?

We went with. We were able to do the best case scenario where we. Jack.

This is the best of the best.

We have now sunk into the dirt outside. The location was on this side of business. Peace was negotiated between spectacular croc jumping tours and original croc jumping tours by the Hamish Unity podcast. This piece is valid regardless of operational status of either company. Date of peace mid to late 2020.

Congratulations fellas. Well done guys. I'm really proud of.

Policing the North. Well done.

Really proud of us. Really proud. And Jacko, you did it.

Wounded.

Yeah.

See, where am I?

See that dick? See, you left just as quickly for you, Jackal, as peace discussions were unfolding. Were you just quickly scanning all five plaques? Like which ones are going to be?

Because at the end, you handed me the perfect pass. Yes. So well done.

And thank you for making me feel like I had a valid role, because for a lot of that, I sat there and it's true, I wasn't I wasn't doing anything. So thank you for making me feel included.

Let me be really clear about this.

Block selection was very critical.

And but on that we all had a very valid role. Yes. Having said that, peace is now achieved. So I suppose with some time left in the day, have we got to.

Oh, I do have a bit of spare.

Time because our jetski tour is still.

Is that still on?

Oh great.

Three cheers for.

Peace. Yes. Three cheers for peace. Who'd like a great northern?

Yes. Yes. Peace.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish Nandi Podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at Hamish and Andy.