Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 211

A listener production.

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Ahoy, Timmy Akaka. Hamish.

Oh, God bless you. Hey.

Ahoy, Timmy. Second Jack.

Ahoy. It's not third, so I'll take it.

It's not safe. It's not. It's not first, and it's not six. We know who might be first.

No, I'm the partner.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

You guys. So we've got a partner, a second and a catcher. What workplace are we in? I thought, which would never be said.

You guys would know, but I wouldn't know.

Right. We'd almost never be said by anyone in a workplace. You never go. Right. So we've got the jib rocker, the carpenter and the Sparky. Who are we and what workplace we? Uh, I don't. I don't know what that is like. Is it a business thing? Do you mean actuary?

No. No. Do you mean.

Acupuncturist? Yes. Are you bad at reading today?

No. No. I hope I pronounce it correctly, but it's the.

Oh, is it boxing?

No, it's. It's something that you guys have both. You've gone through it twice. Him required this. You've only required it once.

You're right. Okay. Childbirth anaesthetist.

Oh. Is it something in the in the delivery room.

Well the midwife directly catching the baby is referred to as the akasha apparently.

Yeah, right. We just called out.

Sharon avoided my Sharon.

Sorry we couldn't afford a French birth.

And so I was the partner. As in, like, you know.

You're the fucking partner.

And the second you're the second is just in case there was paternity questions. The second the second is also welcome in the suite, but they're the less likely father. Well, I believe it's the second. I didn't have a second in mind. Thank God. Did you have a second for yours, Jack?

No, I was the only one in there, but it was Covid time, so maybe they were being strict about this.

So, guys, you're going to have to pick one because we know allowed seconds in the.

Second midwife that comes in to scribe and gather things in case of emergency. But maybe you guys had some smooth sailing.

Don't even remember the scribe. Really? So someone take a minute? Yeah, I don't think so. I'm sitting there just.

Typing away.

Going. Grunt, grunt, grunting, grunting, breathing, swearing, grunting.

Being.

Helpful, holding hands. Ouch, ouch, ouch. You're holding my hand too tight from the husband. No. You know, these are all legitimate names. The problem is they end like when you're in the birthing suite. They don't tell us anything. The husbands are like we are. We barely outrank the lamp. It's just like you. You are useless in there. Yeah. I was trying to feed so strong that I'd made it.

What you told me.

We bought in trail mix because I'm like, Honey, you're about to undergo the hardest endurance event of your life. I had electrolytes, grog, and I was. I was on snacks and mood. I had mood lighting songs and snacks as well. Honestly, there's nothing else. You're not part of it as far like, you're welcome to be there, but you have no medical importance. So they would then they wouldn't even go, Oh, hi, I'm the Akaka. This is the second that's wasted time talking to the dad. Just

Understood. Hoi also to Tom from Cambridge over in the UK.

Tell me, boy.

Ahoy, boys. Happy birthday, Andy. This is Tom from Cambridge, a strong ambassador, having managed to get a few overseas listeners over here for you, one of whom I'd be remiss not to shout out poker chips. Mitch, I bet you thought you'd never hear me on here. Power move achieved anyway. Outrageous that you guys ask us VIPs to essentially leave you a voice note for every episode and then sting us with that song about how we're all twats. But don't worry, not upset, just disappointed. Have a great

He does make a point.

Good point.

Few weeks ago we did say that we didn't want voice notes and it is something that we've asked everyone to do in any easy to use upload system.

Tommy's come on there and burned us a beauty and managed to get a jab into Pokey chips. Mitch Really? He's walking away with a kill count of four from four.

Very, very good take from Tom. Hey, I wanted to kick off today. With an experiment.

That we're all about science on this show.

I'm about to give you guys something you'll have.

You've given me a sealed up tote bag.

Two things you'll get. I'll do it now. Jack, I'm passing you.

I'm getting some time.

Passing you toothpaste and toothbrush. Okay. Thank you, guys. I've. Being accused by Beck for not putting the right amount of toothpaste on or to.

Great question because you never get to see what anyone else.

This would hurt Andy because he would have thought he had the perfect system. I wouldn't be surprised if Andy gets the curl every time. You know, the the one that.

They.

Had, which I've never successfully achieved. But I would be surprised if you I wouldn't be surprised if you got it.

So what I wanted for us all to do now.

We get these toothbrushes.

Yes.

Free toothbrush. Yeah.

Yeah. I always need a changeover to happy about that.

Don't you wait until your dentist finds out about this. He's probably doing a science for you right now.

Now, what happens when I. When my toothbrush goes too long and I'm like, I've got to. I've got to change that. But I always forget. Now I go, All right, I'm throwing it out, which will force me to go to the shops and get a new one. But sometimes.

Five nights of no.

Brushing, sometimes I'll get to the nighttime. I'll go walk. I'm not going to go to the shops now. It's dark. Hey, Jacob.

I've got a treat for you. Change your toothbrush. Bead. Toothbrush.

Me.

Brush, mead, brush.

All right. Start with the old one. And then halfway through to a pit stop on new tires, right? Yeah. Okay. Oh, the pace.

And the feet. Like you get the direct comparison. It's.

It's a it's a real. It's a.

Great point. It's a great way to feel grateful and appreciate the new brush.

So you turn it into a treat.

Yep. Cos I'd like you all to put what you would the amount of toothpaste you'd normally put on and then we'll show each other.

Is this before. I mean usually I put toothpaste on, then I'm either talking to the kids or something. I put the toothbrush down, it drops, it pulls on the bench. So this is before the drop? Yes. Before the I would say more than half the time I'm brushing with toothpaste. That's hit the bench or the sink.

No, this is your anticipated once you put it on what you were going for.

And were you always go toothpaste straight to mouth or do you add a little bit of water, add a little bit of.

Water? And I would do normally because I was trying to get the curl, I've got to stretch.

Well, that wasn't the experiment. I know. I know. Okay.

Okay.

I'm short yours. Look. Okay.

I think that's actually more than I would normally do when you think about it, when I'm. Because I was actually trying to mimic a toothpaste.

Ad, You don't.

That is too.

Much. It's way too much.

The ad you don't actually need that much.

I've actually never thought about that. That's way too much way.

Too much on the ads. And of course, they're going to say that because they want you to buy a new.

Be happy if it was one squirt per tube. Yeah. What they want if.

They if they I don't think they had things on the back.

Of a tube. It's a really common thing on companies where they're like, you know, you know, have this, have this drink, you know, vitamin C drink or whatever, or like an electrolyte drink, you know, try and have 3 or 4 servings a day. Um, really get you burning for it like Weet-Bix. Yeah. Try to do 12 or 15 trying to try it. Don't eat it for more than three meals a day. But that would suit us if you were, if you were eating that much.

Hamish looks hold up yours Jack Hamish and Jack's look very similar.

This mine is only half full. I would say. Wow. Andy, what are you doing? Come on. You can't even see it.

It's this, mate. You're not camping. What are you doing?

I will describe. That is, you know how a toothbrush naturally has, like, little mountains on it for the brushes, it doesn't even get above the tallest mountain.

Yeah. If that was a ski field, you wouldn't go out that day. We didn't get enough coverage last night. That's a dusting. That's like a light. A light season dusting.

I don't think you need more. Like, have you tried this? This is. This is.

It Wouldn't even be minty in the mouth.

Yeah, There's enough.

Meaning in an old toothbrush. You'd be tasting more oldness the newness. Like it's not enough to clean the bristles like your teeth. That's why I was.

So high.

So shocked.

Mine is doing all right.

Doing what you're doing.

Okay. Find a three millimeter line across the top. That's all. I think that's all you need in your stacking. Yours. I reckon most of that just travels straight into your gums as soon as you go.

No, no, it makes it lather.

Yeah, It's like a like like in Spain where they have foam parties. Like, that's. That's. It's a dance floor in there. Yeah. You've got the amount, you know the tooth. You go to the dentist. Sorry Jack. Regular dentist. Have been to medical school. Yeah. When you go there he's.

He's a doctor.

He's a holistic not holistic ones who were told by a dreamcatcher they should become a dentist. But when they do that when a normal genders they do a little polish. At the end they sort of smudge a tiny that's what you've got that amount as the clean, you've got the polish amount.

I think that's all you need.

I you must see the ads then because that is 1/100 of what they put on the ad.

You're treating it like food dye in icing. We need like one drop to make pink icing. Try it.

Start just peeling. No, no.

I don't have time to be so sad tonight. I don't have time to go in and re clean afterwards. Far out.

I mean, maybe I'm.

What do you think? I mean, you must look at this and go. That's. That's a week's.

Worth. I feel like you're wasting it. I feel like I said. I said at the back.

I said back. It's in the mouth. It's not a waste.

But. Well, you could ration it better because I think the same is being done.

Are you resting it for me? You're doing okay. It's actually not the depression.

It's kind of impressive, the dexterity that it would have had. You had to get such a little amount out from one squeeze.

Well, the other. Have you.

Ever tried have you ever if you put this much on mine, would you would you scrape some back.

Into the.

Tube? No, but I would say. Becca, are you ready? Oh.

Wow.

You come here and have my dregs.

But the other part that I do like, technically technique is look at my top of my lid.

Yeah. Not. Not there's nothing else.

So I wipe off the top of the lid cleanly. Snap back.

Yeah. It's like. It's like a brand new tube.

Yeah. I'm actually not losing too much sleep at night worrying about the state of my lid back in the bathroom. But do we take this further? Because, like you, obviously, you open mouth kiss back, right? So you've got no problems sharing saliva. I've done that. Would you like. Obviously the toothpaste isn't going anywhere. Would you brush your teeth then spit that into her mouth? So. Well we're not far off.

Oh, yeah. She could she take a normal amount and then you get.

It into.

Your. Yes. No, no.

It's still doing its job. It's just spitting. Just spitting toothpaste. Both things you've admitted you love.

Hey, haven't played this for a while. I've missed it. So let's get into it. Give me With your best chance.

Not a year away. Chit chat champion.

If you think you're the best at small talk, we've got an arena for you to show your skills.

And boy, oh boy, don't. A lot of people think they're the best at small talk. And we put it down to the fact that when you listen to this, it's got to be the most commonly thought. I could do that.

Yeah, I.

Could do that. Like some of the special skills. You're not going I could name every Oscar winner, not every category. That's not one that you often go, I could do that. But with champions there is a real element guy. I could do that. But as we know on the big stage, yes, it can. The pressure can be immense.

If you're a new listener, welcome. By all means. We always suggest you go back to the start. But the way this works is we will start a conversation between Hamish and I and then it's the job of the Contender to jump in with the next line of conversation. They cannot ask a question. Yeah, they just have to keep the ball of the conversation. Ball in the air.

It's the hardest kind of chat. This is probably what we don't highlight enough because we we we do obviously, and are united to make it fair between both contestants. We know what we're about to say.

We say the exact same conversation. So yeah.

So they have the exact same data. We we do make it you know, it's a it's a high pressure conversation to enter because you can't help but feel like it's actually it's not even chit chat. It's coming into a conversation to try and make a good impression with your first move. That is a hard thing to do, especially when we take away the advantage of questions.

Exactly. Phoebe joins us. Phoebe, ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boys.

How are you? Phoebe, wait. Well, you reached out to us and said that you would like to participate in chit chat champions. What makes you a good small talker.

I hope. Well, I am the youngest of four girls, so a lot to chat to. Had to make my presence known as the fourth child. And I'm also an OT student and occupational therapy student, so lots of chat going on in you.

Yeah, that's true. So a lot of new. And then when you get into occupational therapy, you know, you patients all the time so a lot. Exactly. Small talk. Yeah.

And a variety of patients I'd say. So you can go old. You can go young males. Females.

Exactly.

Yeah. Got to play the full body for anything really. When you're the youngest sibling though, do you is that chat or are you asking a lot of questions and trying to weasel into a lot of situations like.

Jack, I'm a bit of a weasel when it comes to a lot of things like Flat for it's really like fighting to have the first shower at the front and have the front seat of the car.

The corn chip sponsorship. Exactly.

Exactly.

I think a weasel is a fighter. Well pointed out.

Baby, baby. Thank you. Against Phoebe today is my joy to you.

I hope you boys.

And what makes you great at small talk.

Well, funnily enough, I'm actually a health care worker as well. I'm a midwife, so I think that. Yeah, Phoebe and I have a lot in common. And I'm the youngest of five but have four older brothers.

You're an actual.

Yes, an Acacia. That's correct. That's how you say.

Yeah. We were wondering. Yeah.

A flair in the pronunciation there. But yeah.

Cuzshe. It was tough. I looked at it and I was trying to go phonetically. Yeah. Okay. Would that have helped Jack? Or if I'd said Acacia, would you have known.

What I'm name? I know what that is. Yeah, an Acacia is all right.

We're going to put em on hold, and we'll start with Phoebe. You'll both get the exact same conversation. Your job is to feel it out. See, when you jump in, can't ask a question, but continue the conversation. Are you ready to go, Phoebe?

Yep.

Good luck. Hey. Hi, Matt. I just wondered, did you end up buying that compound bow?

Not yet. I want to make sure I get the right one. The right brand.

Mm Yeah. Brands are always iffy thing because like you don't want. So I'm always a bit of a cheapskate and I want to get something that's not going to be as expensive, but like I still want it to be good. So I really get that because you don't really want to buy a bad brand. I've got.

Yeah, Maybe you feel like you ain't good.

No, probably. Yeah, but not the best. Not the greatest.

Well, I mean, when I ask you that question, you can jump straight in and you're back to talking normally, but. But it seemed like you were answering and a miss Universe competition. It's a better question. World peace. You have nothing to no idea about. I'll tell you what I like.

I had to kind of figure out what a compound was. Yes. It was like, I know. I know that ham likes camping, so it was like probably a bit like that. Yeah.

Hunting, camping, I suppose. It's that thing where you go, we all know saying nothing is bad. So the, the opposite of that is getting a lot of words in the air. Just start giving. Just start getting them out there and then maybe assemble them into a thread. And I think that's what you're trying to do. And I think you did great. You probably just.

Seemed like a long sentence to me.

Covered off in a long sentence. You basically communicated the idea that good brands are good, bad brands are bad. Wasting money is bad. Getting good. Am I wrong?

Good. You're wrong.

You're actually not wrong. So you do get points for that.

Well done. There's always two competitors. You've you've registered your go. Let's put her on hold and bring back Am you there?

I am.

Yep. You ready to go?

I'm ready.

Okay. Good luck.

Hey. How are you?

Oh, hey, panda.

Mate. Just winning. Did you end up buying that compound bow?

Not yet. Still shopping around. Want to get the right one? The right brand?

Guys. I know that we just met, but I've got a confession for you. I actually don't know anything about compound boys, but I'm. I'm eager to learn, you know, like, do you have anything that you want to share with mean?

This is interesting. I think.

Bright Christian brave.

To acknowledge you knew nothing about it. And I think that's where people sometimes get stuck. They feel like they have to add where you can it's it's okay in a conversation to go. I don't know what you guys talking about.

So honesty. Hey guys got got to put it out there.

Hey, no, it can only be honest. No one can have a go at you for being honest. Oh, that's certainly bubbling.

Certainly fine. Bubbly.

I mean, right until. Until the question. The question is the only thing where there's a bit of a flag on the plan. Now, the refs are looking at it.

Jack.

You're always you're always a question.

A question. You can't you can't.

We have to disqualify on technicality. I think your entry was better. But Phoebe, miraculously, you have taken.

Out love that.

This is the best Stephen Bradbury type win of all time.

Oh.

I can't wait to listen to Phoebe's.

Okay.

I can't wait to listen to it back.

I hope you've got some time. Oh, gosh, what a sight. And Arvo.

Thank you. Thank you guys so much for playing. Phoebe. We're going to send you a token of no value, of course, for taking away the win. We don't attribute any value to it at all, but you're welcome to.

Well, thanks, guys.

Thank you.

I'm another health star. Ratings bombshell.

Oh, man.

Now for people again, new to the show. Welcome. But we've been following the health star rating you see in Supermarket Foods, which meant to indicate which foods might be healthier for you to purchase or which foods you might want to avoid.

Who does the stars? Who does the stars? Was the initial cry from us because we can't figure.

Out.

Some things that aren't healthy. Get a lot. Some things that are kind of healthy don't score very highly at all. What have you got to do?

Well, you know, we've tackled a lot of these. And so it's hard to bring something back to the group that you think is going to wow them, because that's.

True as time goes on. Like the the burden of impressiveness is really through the.

Like a paramedic, you rock up to your first accident, you probably get a little bit overwhelmed. But now we've seen everything. You know, you'd think. But I reckon this one is going to be unusual for you. You're going to be going well, you're going to.

Just another person lying here with their femur sticking out of their leg going, impressive for you. You're going to be near for five years, mate. And then they go, fine, go then. Good will unimpressed.

Here we go. This is from Will Horner. This morning my friend Jess was picking up the Coles branded Greek style natural yoghurt. Yep. He purchased one kilo at the cream of the creamy goodness and on her walk home discovered something outrageous. What she discovered was that the lid on the package displays a health star rating of 2.5 stars.

Amazing.

Healthier. The further you go, skim the top nice and healthy. Don't eat the dregs. That's where all the fats are.

This changes everything. The same item displaying.

Two different ratings.

That's the same.

Goddamn.

Packaging that is new. We've had the same many, many cases of the same item, sometimes on the shelf next to each other, having different health stars but never merged into the one the.

One package with two. I hope I'd like similar to Fats.

Sorry, to Fats to nothing wrong with fats, particularly in Greek yogurt. I should have said that's that's where the processed sugars are. Should there be any there? That's that's what should kill you.

I hope that similar to the final scene in the Usual Suspects, she dropped.

The yogurt.

And it fell. The package just fell through in slow motion through mid-air and then exploded. And there was a close up on three stars and a close up on two and a half stars. But, well, how can they possibly defend that? They've had a lot of answers for us. Yeah, but how can they possibly defend that one?

They'll try. They'll try and we won't. We won't listen. I remember we were told that there was going to be a big announcement coming from.

Yes.

So far, nothing that we'll get that all would be revealed. We're always getting told in the future from the health stars, people that, oh, don't worry, there'll be an answer for all of this. The conspiracies are raging so hard and fast that this mythical day, when all is explained, is getting harder and harder for them to pull off. I had someone contact to Sando and apologize. I don't have the email in front of me, but some of the

Yes. If you're a brand, a total brand has to play doing all play. You can't you can't just can't just pick and choose your heroes.

Yeah, we'll get them rated. So it's a bit of an unwritten rule that if you've got what they're starting to do now is if you've got low stars, you tuck it on the back, really sort of just chuck amongst the ingredients. If you've got high stars popping on the front, put that review right out front.

Doesn't surprise me.

Nothing, nothing surprises me in this arena.

I'm couple of weeks back now. I went to visit Becky's sister in Darwin for our overseas lessons, the top end of of Australia, and we decided to go on a crocodile jumping to her. Jumping?

Yes. Yeah. You get dirt bikes and you jump over crossing.

No, no, no. You're in a boat and the crocs do the jumping. There were two tours to choose from a company called the Original Croc Jumping tour. Okay.

What?

A whole lot of chickens.

Whole lot more regional croc jumping to.

Or it's direct competitor, spectacular croc jumping tour. So I had the choice.

The original really good marketing decision there, isn't it? Do you mark it on heritage or do you market on really new and improved for spectacular?

I went with the original.

Thought you would have only because.

Spectacular was folded.

But I also feel like there would be a part of you that wanted to reward loyalty to the to the art of crocodile jumping.

But when we got on the tour boy with a emphasising the original the guy, the start of the tour. Hello welcome to the original croc jumping to have been here stated the years and months. We are pretty original.

Shitty that someone's come along and gone. Yes. Hey, you know the croc jumping tour that is booked out every single day that anyone can do that. Like they didn't have a they didn't have a license or anything. Like it would have just been someone else realizing that this is a free for all.

So I haven't done the investigation, but I will keep get delve deeper into it. But we can only assume that they didn't open the first one calling it the original.

Yeah. What was it.

Originally? It would have just been Darwin's croc jumping to. Yeah.

Until Because then. Because they don't own the crocs. They're wild crocs. It's not like you can't. You don't own the river, you don't own the crocs. It's basically your overheads are a boat and chicken on a stick. So if anyone, anyone can come up with that and someone to take the bookings, you've got yourself a tour.

So another mob's come along and gone. Let's just call out Spectacular. Now, might I add, it is spectacular. Even at the at the original one, it was spectacular seeing these crocs come so far out of the water because their tails tails are half a length of a crocodile. Do you know that?

I do now.

So they're their tails are so powerful that they can get their whole body out to come up for the chicken on a stick? I'm not sure how often they need that in the wild.

It is interesting, isn't it? Because they've got the power, but I guess they usually use it for like horizontal acceleration. Yes. And now, you know, in I mean crocodiles have been around for what, 18 million years. Yeah.

We still one that was over 100 years old. Yeah. Geez. And their biggest predator is themselves. They eat each other.

Other male crocs. Yeah. And mums face off.

Mums eat their kids at 20 weeks old. If you've got to stay away from your mum at 20.

Weeks, no matter what.

At 20 weeks is like fend for yourself really. And if because they assume another predator is going to eat their young, so may as well be there as well. Get the calories.

I love traditions, but yeah, I don't know. I'd have I'd have feelings about that if I was a kid.

So back to the task at hand for my investigation. I don't know how many years after the the original croc jumping tour was made when Spectacular came along. But they've clearly they're probably driving to work because they're like 600m away from each other as the turn off.

My favorite kind of business rivalry.

So they're driving to work one day and they see a sign saying Spectacular jumping croc to starting striking.

That's the first they heard of this because it's a small town like you would think. Like if, you know, if Sally's running the original and then Paul decides, I think I'm going to do spectacular. Paul would know. Sally Yes, maybe. Probably should let it. Let it go. Let it. You know.

Paul's telling us just, you know, we're going to start.

Just quietly mention over a forex gold. Hey, how's business? Oh, my God. It's amazing. Yeah.

Too much. Like, much more than you.

Can possibly buy. Headache. Yeah.

So then the guys at the Darwin's croc jumping tour, they've all had to go. Gee, spectacular. Starting up, they would have thrown around a lot of different names because, I mean, they could have gone with more spectacular.

Even more because that does make you sound like a second comer. So if you want to keep heritage, you've got to go.

That's what they would have. Absolutely. Just go on. Let's go. Hard on these guys are thieves because obviously bad bloods happened. Yeah let's just go hard on absolutely the original and the best They could have thrown that in there and the proud of them for not throwing you do often say people that are particularly upset trying to say original one of the best.

Because he never said the best.

He could have.

They could have gone for something like original and still spectacular croc jumping to us.

Oh yeah, tough. Because if no big, big, then if you go, okay, we're going to call ourselves the original spectacular.

That is dishonest. Now.

See, the original spectacular jumping to is the news particularly.

Where? Yeah, we named ourselves original. Yeah. Okay. But you can't own. No, we're just saying we are happened to be spectacular. That's not our name. Yeah, I would have probably gone with that. I would go the the main sign to be like, Right, these guys, if it's war, it's war. We're going to call ourselves the original croc jumping tours brackets. Who also happened to be spectating. Yeah. Or to go extra to like to remove your hands

If anyone has more details that lives up north.

Yeah. What was the original name of the original?

Please hit us up with me, Shankar. I'd love to know a bit more about it.

And this is a time specific one usually doesn't matter when you listen to the podcast, but I feel like I have to timestamp this because today's Thursday, right heading into this weekend, it's a drop day podcast Drop day. Yes. Heading into this Friday, which is tomorrow is I've got to make Sunny's birthday cake and this is Cake week.

He's been slightly thinking about it. Or have you done anything?

No, no, no. This is say have you done here is a little bit different. Yes, I have. I've run a test.

Right. I mean, Finnish listeners welcome, but Hamish has a broad history now of trying to make. Well, this is this.

Is my sixth year.

Actually. He doesn't bake a cake. He constructs it.

Out of this is my seventh year of making well through blood, sweat and tears, constructing Lego strange.

Constructing a cake from delivered pieces of bakery.

Well, you don't. The builder does not need to make his shovel for the whole to count. You are allowed to use tools. Some things that have been preassembled to put together a finished product. Would you agree though, Jack? Majesty cakes.

Are.

They're amazing. Like they're so.

Good. Very good.

Let us not forget how much we celebrated when I made what is essentially an a red oblong was the original cakes and his third birthday. We're now these are the seventh year. This is his ninth birthday.

He's still into it.

Yeah. Yeah. But now he's obviously the mood changes from a three year old to you don't think about who's making your cake to now he's aware, you know, like it's become a fun tradition in the house but now it's become because the challenge is hey, whatever you say. And now it always has a moving part. Yes, whatever you say, Dad has to make it. So now, of course.

There was, of course, the cars trailer with an edible hinge.

Yep. The back of the semi-trailer opened up and. And there was a matchbox car which at.

The time we.

Thought was cutting edge technology was.

Um. What's this year?

Okay, here's where, here's where we're at. Usually a day or two out. I'll get the brief this time. It's been a week.

He's come to a week out.

It's come to a weekend. And it just was clear what it was going to be because for the last 2 to 3 months, he's been heavily into Rubik's cubing. Okay? He's been he's been cubing his school. Yeah. When we're away on holidays, we're just Cuban. I learnt how to do the cube with him. I'm Cuban. Your cube. I'm terrible. I'm basically cubing as. Just a sacrificial lamb so that he can laugh at me and feel good about his time.

Is he better at that Cuban than you smoking me?

Jack, You can cube, can't.

You, Jack? I'm a slow Cuba as well, but still, your complete cube is a complete cube.

That's true. I remember back in the day, and that's what I'm trying to tell, sir. Hey, hey, hey. We're all in the cube team here. We don't need. We're not all Speed Cube. And anyway, Rubik's Cube has become huge, so it was probably clear from a month out, you know, because generally the cake represents like, what fad is happening at the time it was going to be cube based. Yeah. So, so it was like I've been thinking, what about a Rubik's Cube cake? And I go, Yeah, okay. I thought

Fully working is hard.

And went, Jeez, wow, three, three lives goes all the pieces move. Solvable cake.

Hey, boss. Impossible. Possible.

Well, not all solvable. Like, What's that? That. That can't be. I mean, easy isn't possible, but also, it's very much impossible if you're going for all edible.

I'm not even close. Not even close. I gave up on all edible years and years ago. Just. I mean, once Lego started sneaking in. Yes. Then you start to go, okay, how do you make a fully articulating Rubik's cube? So the first thing I did, we have had a little Rubik's cube keyring at home that had broken. And so I started looking on the inside of the cube and I go, okay, this is how they make them. It's quite complicated in there. There's 27 pieces plus the core

So you obviously.

For a small pace, remember, there's 27 of these. It was going to be like six hours per piece.

Right? So you press go cracked the beer and you're sitting there and he's going, well why are you standing around?

Yeah. So in my head it was like The Jetsons where you press and go and it like and there's a cloud and the smoke dissipates and it's made it is not that. So then we go on YouTube and we we find Australia's greatest 3D printing genius. His name's Angus. He's from a website called Maker's Muse. He's got a YouTube channel. So I start harassing him online and I can't get in contact with him. So they now the clock is ticking down. Luckily, like last Friday, he's like,

The plastic shells on the outside.

Plastic shells on the inside, then the cakes on the outside. So the plastic shell is sort of like a it's hard to describe, but it's a it's the interior of the cube. And then I'm packing the exterior with rice bubbles and marshmallow.

I get you. And then on the outside of the cube.

Yeah. Then so that whole cube volume is made of rice bubbles and marshmallows, which I put in as a lump. Then when it sets, my plan is to shave it perfectly on the outside into the shape of the cube. I then ice those. I've got to make 27 individual ones with the correct colors. Click it all together. That's your cake. That's the theory. He's the really tricky bit. I because I'm doing this all on WhatsApp and the kind of the printing geniuses I left them to kind

Well.

Are you trying to make the size of it so bigger than a normal Rubik's cube?

Obviously, each each component, each little cube is bigger than a normal Rubik's cube.

That's way too big.

I know, I know. Well, I didn't get a chance to see it yet because I just said to them. Seems awesome guys. And they show me footage of it being printed. I was like, Man, look at it go. And I actually didn't see it till it was printed out yesterday. And I went, This is a big cube and this is going to be full of cake. Each one. By my estimates, there's going to be over five kilograms of marshmallow in each cube. No, no, in the whole cake. Okay.

Plan.

Well, the plan is I make them you make them first. Like I'll have to create the cubes first, put them in the freezer. Then I was actually speaking to Scotty Cam. He hasn't got back to me yet, but I texted him before because I was like, Mate, I'm going to have these like, globular rice bubble marshmallow things. What tool exists? Oh, where I could shave this away? I said, like, I have an electric chainsaw, like from our machine. Yeah.

Yeah. Brutal.

But it feels like it's just going to get clogged and jammed up with marshmallow and rice bubbles. And I also just. I'm not a massive nerd about safety, but it just doesn't feel right to be using a chainsaw in the kitchen. Yeah, like if Zo walks in and I'm using a chainsaw in the kitchen, it's going to be on me. If an accident happens.

There's heated rods full. Fine.

This is what I'm. Yeah, I'm thinking of a heated rod or a heated hacksaw blade. Yeah. So I freeze them down and I just. Anyway, it depends what Scotty comes back with, but he's a he's working on it for me at the moment. I would have now that I realize the undertaking of this, I would have loved to be at this stage one week ago. Yeah. Just just to understand the basic physics work as it stands.

So you've got potentially 27 hours.

I've got to shopping that up, though. I've got to I've got to think of a faster I got to think of a faster way to do it. The other thing is, in my head, it was so clean. When you're working with this marshmallow rice bubble stuff, it is everywhere. And the the cube only rotate like the cube operates on smoothness. Are you doing.

This in your kitchen at home? Yes. That would be hiding this. Yeah. Yeah. So you got that against you as well?

Yeah. And she saw me doing the test last night and she said, Oh, you're not doing that. Not again. Like the marshmallow. Yeah. I don't want this one because I made. I've used it before. It's not a fan favorite. No.

With the marshmallow rice mix, how often is that finished with people eating it?

All the time. Yeah. Big. Like one of the. One of the more famous. I was looking at someone on YouTube night. Made a big SpongeBob SquarePants cake with it. I mean, that's the thing. Yeah, people love it. Absolutely love it. It's a delicious trade, especially five kilograms of it for the eight children.

Like, you.

Know, I have to tell him to. Really? Yeah. Okay, guys, there's only 400g of marshmallows each. And if you're hungry, you know, have a banana because there's only. Yeah, it's only half a kilo each for you in this cake.

Good luck, man. Mate, we're here for you.

I'm the words of Jack. It does feel impossible at this stage, but the joy on his face when he's trying to rotate this thing around, it's all falling apart. And it's.

It's solved. His 20th birthday when you finally finished.

With 20, 20.

21st.

Mate.

Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandi podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at Hamish and Andy.