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Ahoy to me! Boner. Hey, hey! Rock solid and at your service, my friend. And Jack. Ahoy to me! Tight balls. Jack. No, no, no, you're, of course, all parts of a porn star. No. Uh. And the fact that you've gone down that that route. Ham, make you nervous when I introduce Jack. Because. Ahoy to me, slicer. Jack. Wow. What sort of animal is this? Yes. Do you know what we're doing? Boners and slices. Are we butchers? You're a butcher? Yeah butcher, butchers or a. Yes, a terrible,
a terrible sex robot. One setting. Very pleasurable. The other one. The other. Run for your life. I don't even know why they have this second setting. Yes. Why would it ever unsheathe and reveal the blade? We shouldn't have a slicer. Uh, also, ahoy to Josh from Iowa.
Ahoy, Jack! Hamish. Andy. This is Joe from Iowa. Sitting here filling out my VIP form.
By a river.
And I'd never heard of WhatsApp until listening to your show. And I was wondering if it must be a pretty big sponsor for as much as you mentioned it. Anyway, I had no trouble uploading this. Thanks and keep up the good work, Joe.
011 for Andy. Andy obviously hired some sort of, like, audio cameo. That no one's buying that for a second. There's a civilian cameo where you can get endorsements for testimonials, testimonials for your own positions, your own products. Not a bad idea, actually. It's actually a really good idea. It's like a realistic bot. Yeah. Yeah, sure. What's my name? Josh. Yeah. Great. And what do I approve of? The upload system? Sure. And what do I hate? WhatsApp. Yeah. Easy. Got it.
Joe was his name. Uh. Uh, Haim, uh, we've been here from Dave that says I'm very good with names. Oh, hi, I'm Jenny, it's Dave here. And I've always thought Hamish is great with names. Um. Um, uh, I'm. I wanted the top of the show because you have the floor. We've been sent something gentle and something for all of us. Wow. It has been a while since we asked for the naming rights for our shirts and jackets. It's been a long time. Long time? You mean back when we used
to wear tracksuits and stuff? Yeah, we had tracksuits for a while, and then Makita came in with a strong play. Would you agree that we went? We went hard with Makita for a while. We had Makita, we had the hoodies, the XLT x something, the battery system, Makita hoodies. Jack, did you ever wear yours? Well, you didn't, did you? No, I didn't.
But you know how we got some free tools from Makita? Do you reckon I could go? I need my chainsaw sharpened. Is that something that they would do? Or give me? Maybe give me a new.
Who actually did to DeWalt? You picked?
Yes, but defected to DeWalt. Don't you remember? I weaseled after the show and went emailed the guy personally. Who can keep track of you?
Did you? We discussed this. He went DeWalt. He missed out. He then backed back and thin back the thick, thin pack pack from DeWalt. He then backed Chanelled to Eliza and said can you please give me the contact? So I do want to hit up Makita. Oh, he knows no bounds.
No. And you know I'm still halfway waiting for you to give me Calloway's contact. Because I was trying to backchannel them from the golf clubs. Okay.
Anyway, can I just tell you it's not about the sender? But. Yeah, Jack was like, during when we were chatting about the golf clubs. Jack sends me a text going, was that. Do you seriously have Calloway's contact? Because if you're not going with them, I'd be interested. You don't even play? No, but I might.
I might if I had three clubs, I might.
I think I reckon, Jack, you've got. Unbelievable. I mean, this I say this with love. I think you've got to have more faith in your career. Because do you get. I get the feeling that you think it's all about to end. And that's why you're weaseling so hard.
Jack, you're one of the best.
Yeah, I think I honestly think that's where it comes from. Like you're one of the best you'll be around in ten years. You don't have to cram all your weaseling into one week. Thank you.
Okay.
So can I get. Have to go. If anyone's got 500 cans of peaches, I'll take them now, because this. The party might stop now. Any SPC? If you're listening, we don't want 500 kids. Eventually, Jack will have em. Hey, Jack. First. First thing comes in your head. Right now you want something for free? Go. What's the company? What do you want?
Callaway golf club.
You didn't even know you wanted golf.
I do, I do think about it now.
Think about your life right now. Life. State of life. What do you need right now? Go.
Uh. New car.
He's on. The price is right. You have a new car?
I know, I just tried to think of the most expensive thing. No, I am being weaselly here, and I don't want to be rude.
But you come so naturally. The. But you have such a silky pelt. Okay. Okay. Jack, we've got your teeth there.
I was chewing. Sorry. I was chewing gum before the episode started. And then I stopped chewing, so I just squished it in between my gum and my lip.
I've got to make a call to. I was eating licorice, too, so apologies if for any, for any of the web videos. I've got licorice. Sorry.
Andy's got something for us and we keep rolling.
I look across at Jack and, you know, there's been certain members in our team in the past that have had their teeth done right, and it's been a gradual thing. And we've discussed whether to say it or not. But I was looking across at Jack and his teeth are like half bright white. And I was like, maybe he's halfway a deal. He's two. He's two. Two Facebook plugs
short of getting the other half whitened. Hey, we accidentally became a place where power tool companies felt like they needed to come to us to give us things, even though really, none of us use tools much at all. See for yourself, mate. We've enjoyed it, but that we. It did become a battleground. This show for no reason for power tool superiority. And we can't resist it because there's something inside us as guys that wants power tools.
Even if we're not handy. Yes. And guess what? There's a company we'd never mentioned in the power tools realm that have sent a big box. Before you say who it is, I think they're one of the best. That's why I wasn't mentioning them. They're too good to mention in the company of the others. Bosch. Bosch. Bosch. Bosch. Bosch. Yes, I know that. I've got one of those. That's the heated jacket. As far as wearing things, this is a heated. Hoodie, jacket.
And you already have one. Hamish. I actually.
I think I went through another channel and it landed. I saw it the other week. Well, they've sent us one for all, obviously hoping that we would wear them. I mean, we are inside a heated studio, but this comes with its own little USB charger out the back of it. And you I mean, you don't have to plug yourself in and stay plugged in. I assume it charges the battery. Yeah. And then and then you get yourself a heated jacket with a heated jacket on.
I know, like, we.
Can wear electric.
Blanket to and from the studio. We wouldn't wear it in here because it's too warm. What do you.
Think this is, the NBA playoffs. You've got walk in gear for when you turn up. Hop out of the bus, Jack. Coming through. Coming through. Underneath. Oh he's in the boss jacket. So there you go. It's got three heat levels. Yep. Um, outstanding. It can tumble dry machine, wash it, and it's got a printable backside. So apparently they're saying you can print your own company, I suppose, on the back. Interesting. Hadn't read that bit. What? I haven't unboxed mine andoh what
are what are we? How exactly does the USB charging work? Does it give you 12 hours? It does give you is there a battery pack on board? Like how does that work? Doesn't say it on the box. It just I would I would assume it's got a 12. It's got a 12 volt. Oh hang on you can put batteries in it as well. Yeah. Because I assume you'd have to run some battery to keep the trickle, but that would be.
Annoying if a big, heavy battery is hanging off the back of the coat.
I'm not sure if it's. I don't think it's not hanging off the back, Jack. They've designed it better than that. It probably has its own pocket.
Well, it should be. It should be a very large, thin battery that goes over the whole back so you hardly notice it. That's how I would do it.
Okay, standby. I'm opening it up. Open it up. So you're like what? Like a bulletproof vest plate? Yes. Yeah. On your back. Oh, you've got, like, a battery clip. And that clips onto your. That'll be the battery that runs it. Because it'd need a sizable battery to keep the warmth going. Clips onto your belt. Yeah, I think so. Mhm.
Mhm. Bit cumbersome.
I should have warned you Bosch. You have delivered a present to a den of picky weasels. Yeah. From what I can gather, I think we belt mounted heat back. It's a belt. It's a belt mount. Look, in Bosch's defense, this is the problem. My brother in law also named Andy. Um, and I share a fascination, constant and ongoing fascination with where jetpack technology is up to. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. So once every few weeks, we'll be sending each other a. Have you seen this guy? Have you seen this guy?
This guy is essentially flying his own. You know, he's made a giant drone that he's sitting in. What about this guy? And the hard thing for a lot of these, like mini drones that you can fly around that look like the little DJI ones, but you sit in it is just the weight of the batteries. The battery weighs heavy, so and you face a similar problem with the heated jacket I think. Where do we put the battery to keep you snug without annoying you with too much belt weight?
I haven't, I obviously haven't read it through, but it seems to me I mean, look, that looks like a belt attachment, doesn't it? I mean, it looks it's as big as a small cordless drill battery. Yeah. So I think you have to clip that onto your belt. Would you be better off having two battery packs in your boots? Um, and it comes with special heavy boots that you walk around in. Right.
Because I know you're running from your boot up to your jacket.
Well, that's going to have to be what happens, Jack. You put your boots on first, slide your pants over that. Your jackets.
I've got I've got shoulder pads. Because sometimes you bulk out shoulder pads anyway with a bit of extra padding. Making batteries. Okay. One in each side. Backup.
Okay. Not bad, not bad. I wouldn't know who is who. Your dad. Ronan Keating. Yes. He wore his BlackBerry on his belt. You're right. He's used to wearing a utility belt. Yeah. He used. He came in and had his phone clipped with a with a with a belt. He actually threw it out after we teased him about it relentlessly on the show, but. Well, he critically questioned it. Do, um. I think I'd prefer two battery packs like a Western gunslinger rather than one. So it just felt a bit
more even. Or would they ever make? Probably not. Because, you know, there's obviously security concerns for this. Especially if you want to take it to the footy. But do you make gun shaped batteries? So if you're going to be wearing a holster, might as well feel like a cool. Might as well look cool while you're doing it. And people think you're a detective. Solar panel cap not enough charge. Nowhere near enough charge. It would need to be a sort of a ten meter. Yeah, and.
If you're getting a lot of sun, then you're pretty warm anyway.
You're not wearing the jacket. That's true. But what about this? What about a solar? No, I was going to say, you make a singlet out of solar panels that you wear during the summer months to charge up the battery, and then you have a battery that charges it up. Then during autumn, you unhook your singlet and you put on the jacket that you've charged up over the summer. Yeah, yeah. So it is, it is there is great benefit to that being carbon neutral, but it does not solve our
cumbersome problem. No. Some suggestions for Bosch. I guess at this stage, I mean, Jack, would you want one still?
I would still, because I might wear it as a normal jacket without the heating application. Okay.
Yeah. You would. I will absolutely take it on. You would? All right, guys, moment of honesty here. We each of us have both our own families, but also the in-laws. Yes. I'm going to ask you a question. I'll give you a few moments if you need to think of it, because I actually have the answer. It happened to me on the weekend. Um, what is the greatest crime you have committed? In the eyes of the in-laws. Oh, I thought. I thought I was about to blurt out one that
they didn't know. Damn it! We can play that as a bonus round. Let's do yours. Your your crime at the end. I'll tell you what mine is. We go to visit, um, Gerty and Dave in the country on the weekend. Zoe's parents go inside, you know. Great. They've got chickens and a veggie patch and stuff, so it's all lots of fun. When we get there, the kids are off getting eggs from the chicken. We're getting veggie stuff for lunch day. Zoe's dad's off taking the kids
to the chickens. I'm inside with Zoe's mum, and, uh, there's like. It's a beautiful, like, old cottage y, kind of like little house, like the kitchen and the the table. Everything's jammed into one room. I go to sit down at the table. Really? Only seats about four in the kitchen. I go to sit down and. goody. No no no no. Don't sit there. You've broken two of those chairs. And I went, have I? I do, I remember. I remember one breaking. No no, no. You're too big for those chairs.
We've got the got the stool. We've got the stool, the stool, the stool for you. Wow. Right. Okay. I said I thought, Levi. I tried to blame those brothers. I think I think Levi broke it. No, no. He sat on it first, but then you sat on it. You broke the back. That's okay, that's okay. But they're not cheap, and they're actually collectors. I said right. Well, do you want. I mean, I could organise. Sorry. I didn't know that they were that badly damaged. I said
I could get them fixed. No. They're downstairs. We put them away, and it's a shame they're not. They're not? They're not cheap, but. Oh, well, they're gone. Like, you know, they're from the 70s. They're these nice wooden kitchen table chairs. Right? Yeah. Anyway, when Dave comes, Dave comes back in from the eggs. I go as a test, I go, Dave, why don't you take the stool and I'll sit there pointing to one of them? He goes, no, you've broken two of them.
I was like, okay, well, I know what's being discussed when I'm not here. Yeah, very clearly on my record. And it won't be moved. Like breaking a kitchen table chair is yours. Big crime in that house. I don't have one as specific as that, really. But I am not allowed to pick the restaurant anymore for their family because they take their food so seriously. You had a swing and a miss, and I had a swing and a miss. And I've never been forgiven. What didn't have
the right wines didn't mean I was like, what'd you pick? Well, I just went for, like, a puppy type thing. Yeah. And no, a pub. A pub is what you mean. If they're getting together, they they prefer they just take their food. They just they just they want an experience. It doesn't really have to be fine dining. They just want something. A good restaurant. Yeah. Something unique. Different thought about. Not just something that they can say to their friends. Oh,
you know, we went to O'Malley's. Yeah. The pub? No, the Turkish restaurant. Oh, good. Yeah, cos the pub's ordinary, so I think that's where it sits for me. So you. Yes. Okay. I've just come to. I'm not allowed in when it comes to any type of food discussions. It's. They bypass me and tell us exactly where we're going. That's a joke. Do you have one? What's on your list?
My mother in law never shies away from exaggeration, and she'll often use the phrase worst thing in the world that you can do. So, like an example would be. Jack, just so you know, the worst thing in the world you can do is leave your clothes on the bedroom floor.
So she obviously thinks that you've done that a few times. So you have a list.
She's seen like she's seen me leave clothes on the floor and then she's gone. Just so you know, the worst, worst thing you can do. And the reason, and she'll even go as far as to say, is the reason that mine and Giancarlo's marriage has lasted so long is he doesn't leave clothes on the floor.
So he's got a two pronged way of selling it in just to go. These are you. This is such a heinous crime. And we wouldn't be here.
Your life and your wife's life.
When you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for adherence to the rules. When you're going out with someone and they're your partner. And long term relationships are marriage. You are in a long term, permanent job interview with their parents. Like it just never changes. And it's rare that you get one up on your boss. But I have you got one up on experience. I do, I've got one up.
If anyone was going to do it, I well I felt for it for him because Lee um, is Beck's dad and as you guys know, a friend of mine passed away recently. So Beck walked into the house and said, you know, Andy's fragile. I didn't know he said that Lee thinks I'm hungover, so I so I walk in, he goes, ooh, a bit fragile. We good? And you? You would have just been letting the line go out. Let the line go out before I reel this one in. And he'd gone and got a prop, and he's like,
gonna offer you one of these and a beer. And he said, can I offer you one of these? Oh, hair of the dog is a bit fragile. We did a little bit of, like, cry Face and I said, yeah, sorry. You're a friend of mine. Passed away during the week. I've never seen someone get stopped in his tracks. So, as you said, Ham. Lovely. It was a great moment for me. Incredible. And I'll tell you what. We are going to the pub this Friday. I'm picking it. Up. And I'm. It's been a while since we've done this,
but let's jump back into some power moves. That never. Volume one and two. Still available now. And volume two. Back end available. People should have those that they pre-ordered at Hamish. Com of our power moves books heading out to them as we speak. No house is complete without a power moves book adds severe value to your house if you're here, if you're trying to sell it at the moment. Yeah, I wouldn't put your house on the market with that one. And also, I know housing affordability
is a big issue at the moment. If you walk into a house that's perhaps open for inspection or apartment or something, and they have a power moves book in there and you're like, all right, well, what are we talking here realistically to the agent? And they go, you know, 7 to 750. What about without the book? Yeah exactly. Mid five, mid five soft fives. Exactly. So you keep that in your sleep as well. Yeah. And so can we can I, I got to check this one with
you because it's a golf power move. So still being fresh to golf I don't know if these are power moves or not actually. Sorry I did have something to bring up with you about golf. This is unrelated to power moves, but, um, you know how you were saying that you could give someone a detention on the golf course if their shirt was untucked? You can't give them a detention. But some people will report people, right? Yeah. And you can get kicked out of a club, some clubs.
It's ridiculous. But if the shirt's untucked and that blew, this will blow your mind. A guy at our club, a friend of his, didn't rake the bunker.
Like, which is the sand?
After you play your shot, you're to rake it again. Didn't rake it. And they banned the guy, not his friend. Because the friend was the guest. They banned the guy for a month. For a month because his friend didn't rake for gardening. Yeah, well, I. Speaking of bans. So I was I think I was on, um, I was looking at Jimmy Fallon's Instagram. Yep. Or it could have been. It was he was playing golf with Justin Timberlake. Yep. It might have been Justin Timberlake's Instagram. Yeah. They were mucking.
There's a whole bunch of them. And it looked like they were having a great day out there mucking around and running around celebrating something. And a few of them had their shirt untucked. So I just I don't know if I, if I needed to refer that to you. Yeah. So you can give them a detention. I'll take that for us. first cause that you remember when we played with Justin Timberlake? We did. Um, we you and I
were arguing over who to rake the bunker. Yeah, because you said you weren't going to rake it, and I said, you're my caddy. You have to. And then he raked it and said, take care of the coarse, and the coarse will take care of you. Like, whoa, that was you were like Bagger Vance. Yeah. Why is golf with Timberlake? Um, anyway, so this is a power move. Okay, so you're just about to tee off. That means hit the first shot, Jack. Um, and there's a group ahead of you in the middle
of the fairway. So I do know enough about this that you'd be like, okay, you have to wait for those guys to pick your ball up, but then suggest to your playing partner that they'll be okay to tee off. Is that good? Yeah, it's a really good one from here. Okay. Indicating that they're no threat. They're no threat. But you would be. They can't hear it far enough. Here you go, Jack. You won't get to them. That kind of thing. That's good.
Good fun. I like it. This one's from Heather Ham. Um. She said it's a bit of a specific scenario, but that's fine. We like those. We love them. So if your husband, wife or flatmate is doing some cooking or baking and have run out of a specific ingredient and they've asked you to go and grab it for them, that happens late. Does she said, go and buy. Go and don't buy the said ingredient, but go and buy the ready made version of whatever they're cooking. It's really good. Um,
I'm not sure if we've had this one before. This I would put this under classic. This is from Michael. Um, I got a power move that beats all of them. Definitely an arsehole. Move when you're at the beach and you're eating fish and chips and you're full, and you maybe have a few chips left as you get up to leave, sprinkle them around. People sitting nearby enjoying their day or having a romantic moment so they are swarmed by a flock of seagulls. I don't think we've had it.
It's good, I like it, it's good. Aaron sends this in Ahoy. You're an asshole, pal. Move when you see someone getting into an elevator. Payoff is better if they're flustered and in a rush. Yell out, can you hold that elevator for me? When they do, just walk past it, ignore them, and keep walking. It's not bad. Thanks for holding it up. I like I like this one. I mean, it, it would. It would have worked in my family growing up. Um, it's from Stephanie. It's one of those things that this
always happened at my grandparents place. So she goes, look, when my husband and I leave my parents place, they always come outside and they wave goodbye from the front porch. My grandparents always did that to us, as my parents still do that to me. So it's just like they you're in the car, they begin the wave, and they don't stop the wave until you're out of view. Right? So I think if you have one of these families, this is the time to do it. So the other night,
we decided we'd sit in the driveway, keeping them standing there. Waving. And my husband and I just made small talk and we stayed there. They kept waving. We kept talking. Eventually they did decide to go inside when we had a good giggle. Oh, great. War of attrition. Hi, I'm Jack. The saying is honesty is the best policy. Hmm. How much do we subscribe to that? I mean, it's in the. It's certainly one of the policies you can select from. Always read the PBS, though, and decide if this policy
is correct for you. I'm going to throw a scenario at you, and I'd like you both to come back with a verdict of whether honesty is the best policy. Okay. Beck smashed her car into the garage door. Right. Very unlucky. Lucky because as she was reversing from the inside. Yes.
Right. We've still got a dent in our car from when we house sat. By the way, at your place, coming out of your driveway. It's tight.
But this is. This is the door itself. You know how. Remember, Jackie, you would have had difficulty turning the wheel because you're wearing Andy's jumper, which would have been a bit tight on you. Yeah, for people who don't remember Jack. How separate wore my clothes as well. It's very strange.
Outer garments. I didn't wear anything that touches the skin.
You weren't a double to stop assassins. You were just a friend. Jack thought he was a scarecrow. I've got to dress like Andy to keep the crows away. We're overseas. I get a text and saying, is your garage door meant to be open? And Jack's left it and left it open. Gone away for the weekend. Left the whole house open. Anyway, Beck has, you know, the garage door. Well, you know how aerials in cars. For a long time, it was about getting as high as possible. Now they're
very sleek, and they kind of look like shark's fin. Yeah. the timing was as such as the garage door was going down. As she's reversing that, it's taken the Finn. It's just pulled the Finn and then ripped her shark's fin aerial off and left. Can I just ask? Sorry. She opened the garage door. She's begun reversing it, and she began to close as she was going. Well, yeah, it's closing down on her. Who was closing it? Well, that's why honesty mightn't be the best policy. You were close.
You love efficiency so much that you were even a second.
You were trying to make it like Indiana Jones. She was getting under the door that fast. You were trying to be that efficient? No.
No extra breeze allowed.
Let me get the facts out, please. We've got him. We've absolutely got him. So it's taken off her shark fin and peeled back. I didn't realise, but you know how when you're opening a tin of tuna, you kind of clip the thing and it peels back? Peeled the roof off. It peeled the roof off. No it didn't. So she's got a. How much of the roof? Around about. What's that about? A VB can worth of hole in the roof. It can peeled back. Yeah. And you could
just see straight. Really? Yeah. You could just see straight into her back seat. Wow. So they really glue those shark fins on? Yes. So I what had happened was I had gone. We were in tandem garage. She was backing out. Her car out. I was sitting in my car waiting for her to get out so I could go, I think. I don't know, I think my natural reflex was to get in my car and I hit the garage buzzer. Yep. That's what you do. She'd already put it up. And so I get in, hit it because
of natural reflex. And I'd sent it back down. And as she's going out she it was made the biggest sound. And and there's the door. Is the door wrecked? The door is still working. So I'm fine with that. And and but yes. It didn't bother you. The the dent is bothering me a little bit. But yes, Beck now has a hole in a roof. It's in the shop and it's three month wait, right. So she said, we've got to have a look at this garage door. I think it keeps going down accidentally. Oh, yeah.
She's giving you the lie on a on a silver platter.
I didn't say no. It's not. I went, yeah, well, you'd have to. Yeah. Um, but I didn't say, like, I didn't say no. It was me. But I didn't agree that it was her. I just went, yeah. So we should. It sounds like there's a ghost in the machine. Yeah, well, that would be a lie, but. Yeah. Okay. Now, all jokes aside, you definitely did do it. I don't know whether I did it. This is like those press conferences, like, hey, it was a white powder. I don't know what the
powder is. I don't recall. I mean, it could have been anything. Yes. Uh, all we know is there was two kilograms of a white powder hidden in the bottom of the suitcase. Now, beyond that, we don't know what the powder was exactly. So the facts are that you're not. You couldn't say 100% that you've done that. No. Which thankfully casts you with some some sort of innocence. But what my my question to you here now, as talking as mates would be. What would be the point of
you admitting this? Well, the point would be because Beck goes, I always do silly things like this, which she actually does have a track record of being clumsy. But either way, the two options here are there's a ghost in the machine or you did it. She's off the hook. There's no one's thinking. She's done a silly thing. Exactly. So, are we saying it's not the best policy?
Blame it on the ghost because it's a victimless crime. Yeah, that's the ghost. He doesn't feel anything.
Who doesn't love a skate ghost? I reckon I think, I think it's skate ghost is the way to go here. Because, like you said, you're not sure? No. It could have been a ghost. It could have been a ghost. So I think it would be the smart thing to do to get the guy to come out, to have a look at it. Yeah, see what he can do, see what he can do. And he look, odds are he's going to go. Seems to be working fine. Well, I guess I'll go to ghost in the machine and then
you'll go. Well, does it sometimes just receive a double signal? Is it possible that she sent the signal? It travelled to the sensor, but also the signal travelled out the door, bounced off something and came back in and hit the sensor twice. Is that possible? You know, crazy things happen with technology. Yeah, I mean, all all it has to be is not impossible. Yeah. And that's probably what did happen.
Thank you guys. Appreciate. It. All right fellas I bring to you a special skill, um, for your perusal, for your analysis because it can potentially get them in or this is potentially to get someone to come on the show. It pertains, um, because it's about something that I'm not even really sure. I think I understand what it is, but you guys are a little bit more. Well, you're not more musical than me, but you did more theory, I suppose is okay. Yeah, I certainly feel it better. But,
you know, you did the facts. You read the books more, right? You've watched the Docos and stuff? Yeah. Better at music? Well, just the theory side. Let's be honest. Um, this comes in from a young lady who is messaging on behalf of her boyfriend. Okay. She claims he can. And now I'll read from the email melodically chomp any monophonic melody from a song he knows. Um. What? What does that mean? What does.
Monophonic mean? Just. Just the same note. Yeah.
So I think so. He can jump. So I think he has big teeth, right? Um, he, he's claim this is a quote from him. Some people can chomp, but they don't have the resonance chamber for it like I do. Dan Sugars 2022. So he's saying he can like he can chomp his teeth together, um, to create the beat or the tune of a song. Yeah. So he tune. Yeah. Like he'd be going, you know, if it was jingle Bells. Chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp. I hope it's better
than that. Well, it's not going. He's chomping with his teeth. He's not saying chomp. I know, but that's that's the extent of it being better. It's a slightly different sound. So you try, you do Jingle Bells with your teeth. But I imagine he wants something like it's not like without food. He's got probably got a capsicum or something. That's. No, he's clanging his teeth together. That's what he's doing. So he goes. I have to say, it's a pretty special skill.
He does have pretty massive teeth to create the skill with. Not big enough to be in a freak show. Don't think we do those anymore, but big enough that that people would say this guy has big teeth. Right. Okay, sure. Is this the secret for his chomping? She writes. Nobody knows. So he's. I think he's sort of talking about he's got the right shaped head. Can we chat to him? Can we chat to him? Yeah, we've got Dan. We've got Dan sugars up. I've got the jumper. This is Dan.
This has got the jumper Dan. Oh.
Hello boys.
How are you going.
Oh how are you. Dan how big are your teeth? Are they Freddie Mercury?
Oh, um, look, you know, I haven't compared them side by side, so I can't really confirm or deny that, but I'm holding. I actually do have a tape measure right next to me here. I don't know why, but don't ask me why. But anyway, I could probably do a little bit of a.
So you do know that we're not allowed to ask you? It sounded like, you know, you were just measuring whether this body will fit in this bin or something. And so we're not allowed to ask you why the measuring tape, but something like that. Yeah. Are you near a mirror? Could you could you hold up the tape and tell us how wide say you're you're going two front teeth width. Yeah. Two front teeth width.
Okay. All right. Let me just try. And I have never actually done this before.
Not a lot of people have. I think dentists probably don't use the tape measure. I mean, let's have a look.
I have been quoted to say before that this is my retirement fund, because I make a nice ivory piano out of them, but. Right. Let's have a look. So I'd say you just just shot the two front teeth together. Yeah. Width is, if I'm reading it right, it's probably like, uh, an inch and just under an inch. Sorry. Like, probably. That's big.
What is it? I'm just sitting here going. What number can you say that will truly weigh 50cm? So you're saying 2.5cm, is it?
Oh, no no no it's not. It's probably about two centimeters I reckon.
I reckon that's big.
That's right. Yeah. A bit bigger than two. Yeah. Not quite two and a half, but.
Well I mean, this is, these are good numbers. They, um. But as we all know, um, just, uh, just good numbers. Doesn't make a champion racehorse. You do need to. You need other factors. Do we? Indeed. Is it? Have we got it correct when we're saying so you pick a song and it's you slamming your mouth, shut your teeth shut with no food in between, just to chomp, just just tooth on tooth percussion, uh, to replicate the song.
Yeah. So there was a I was listening to you guys just talk before, and I was a bit concerned when, um, Andy said it better be more impressive than that because, um, maybe it's not, but hopefully it is if I can explain it. If I can explain it. Yeah. So, um. Yeah, there's no food involved. It's literally just chomping my teeth together. But the chomping, I suppose if you just like when you clap your hands, it obviously creates a sound. Yeah.
That resonates. So the the chomping of the teeth in combination with my mouth obviously provides a, I can shape my mouth or my lips. I don't know exactly what's going on there, but I can shape it to make a particular note. Now, that's not particularly that That's special because people can. I'm sure that you could probably, as you were saying, Jingle Bells. You could probably chomp that out and maybe pretend like you're singing and sort of
get the tune. But I what I think defines my special skill is that acoustically, you say you're across a boardroom table or at the other end of a room, you would be able to hear me easily doing that as opposed to someone else. You would have to be like ASMR style next to their ear or their mouth kind of thing.
I think I think if I were in the boardroom, I would be inclined to say, Mr. Sugar's your presentation, please. You'd be.
It happens more often than you think. Actually, this is all very.
This is impressive, Mr. Sugars, but we must ask you for the June quarter numbers. Chop chop, chop chop. Mr. sugars, are you stalling? So. Okay. It's. It's about. it's volume. Yes, it's an impressive volume. Yep. So why? And then. And then you must be able to position your mouth and lips to amplify the chomp in a certain manner.
I think I guess it's like, you know, I used to say when I used to do this in high school, a lot more that I should get sponsored by some kind of milk company. Why? Because, you know, slamming my teeth together and, you know, look, they don't break kind of scenario.
Oh, okay.
Calcium. Yeah. I suppose that comes down to the. I guess I was thinking about this the other day. I suppose my teeth are like the strings on a guitar, and my mouth is the body of the guitar, so it's like you hit the strings harder or the teeth. You slam them down harder. That obviously helps generate the resonance. Uh, with my mouth. And.
But it's one singular note, isn't it, Dan?
Oh, no. So. Well, monophonic means that I can't. I'm not. I can't play chords with my teeth. Like.
Yet.
I mean, I guess there's time I could, you know, but no, I can't like, um. Yeah, it's just one single note at a time. So think about, like.
It could be a range of notes, but just. Oh of course.
Yeah. No.
Whereabouts do you live, then? It's like he's in. He's in Brisbane. We've got to get him down. I don't want to hear it over the phone. Him. I want to be. I want to be at the opposite end of a board room. No one knows, I reckon. I reckon the excitement is such that. No, you're right. We've got to be in a board room. You and I have to wear suits for it. We have to be like, please come in. Um, what's a good song for you to do? What? Yeah. I mean, what would you like to perform?
Well, I guess I can prepare a repertoire if you wish.
Oh, wow. A megamix, like, all mixed together. Like when Delta Goodrem has, like, a spot at the lake or something. Or.
Exactly. Yeah, I could, I could do a medley. Yeah, I could do a medley or something, but I guess, you know, is it one of those situations of that if, if I do have a special skill that my girlfriend claims that I do. You should be able to recognize I should be able to chomp a song that you don't know and hopefully you recognize.
That's it. That's it. I think that's that's exactly it, Dan. What we'll do is we'll wear suits, we'll call you and we'll say, hey, do you have those projections for us? You you start chomping the song and if we go, wait a sec, is that stairway to Heaven? Then. Then we've forgotten about the projections, and you've won yourself. The coin. Yeah, just one song. Okay. Let's go. Three songs. Three songs. I think because I got a feeling it's going to be good. And I want to. Yeah, I want to
enjoy the. I want to enjoy the concert. Yeah. Um. Okay. Cheapest available flight coming your way, Dan. Um, and we'll organize to get you to Melbourne. Uh, a quick smart, because we absolutely want to see this. Cheers, buddy. Great.
I look forward to it. Jump on. I look forward to the business meeting.
Thanks, mate. I'm Hamish. Com if anyone wants to email us or fill out the valid and important podcast to form. We're about special skills, etc. like teeth chomping we've just heard from. Outstanding. Look forward to testing him. Um, you can go there and email. Someone said they've got a great person for. Tell us someone we haven't thought of for a while and they'd like us to play. Feels about the right time of the year to play it,
doesn't it? Middle of the year. If you've not heard this game before, you have to tell us someone that is a public figure or is sort of has some level of notoriety that Andy and I can honestly say we haven't thought of this year. Yeah, if you can achieve that, you win a choice of hats. Which hats? Whatever we have at hand. You got those hats. Dutch deals. So people might remember I was talking about the Dutch food only website a few weeks ago. Dutch deals heard
me mentioning them. I can't remember something. It was something like, you know, I bought some mini pancakes and poffertjes mix and pancake mix, which was about 30 bucks. And the thing came up and said, if you spend another like 185 more, you will get a hat. And I didn't, and it was a baseball style hat, so it wasn't even a baseball hat. Like, don't use it for baseball. It might not hold up on the field, but it's certainly of that style. They have sent in, um, three
Dutch hats. Well, they'll be in the mix when we play. Tell us something. Someone we haven't thought of for a while. Uh, that'll be in the next, what, few weeks? We'll do that. So do go to the website. I mean, people, you can tell from the show now, the quality of email is just going up and up and up. I don't want that to stop people emailing in. It's more of a thank you. Yeah. For the for the people that
are taking the time. Also the remembering project, that's where you and I look back at all the shows we've done over all the years and try to remember what happened, particularly in the early years, 2006 and seven, etc. it's up. It's on the listener app exclusively at the moment, but it'll be out and available for everybody in a couple of months time. But you can go and download the
listener app for free right now and grab it. One thing that never made the show, but people may know of if they listen to the remembering project is Mike multi-platform Mike multi multimedia. Mike he's in charge of saying the date. Yes. So we picked this one day. It might be, you know, the 5th of April. It shouldn't be too hard. But in Mike's defense there's pressure. Yeah there's pressure because it's sort of like there's a gap and it's like you go, Mike, you're on. This is
what went down. When in recent weeks when Mike had to try and just say the date.
It's the 6th of September.
Go again on that one. You just a little off. Oh sorry. Okay, I forgot we used to do this last year.
It's the six of September.
Oh. Put his big boy voice on.
It's a tough one because it's. I don't think.
You're saying sixth yet. You say September 6th.
But I've done all the other ones this way.
So just just for once, I'm going to blow anyone's mind. We still know the date.
Oh.
You're you're you're forgetting that. Yeah.
It's the sixth. sick, right? No, sorry. Sorry. You got this? It's the sixth of. No, I can't say it now. Okay, now sing bad romance. No, it's the 6th of September.
Yeah. So you're just saying six? Six. It's the 6th of September. It's the sixth. We need a. Do you want us to record a separately?
No, I'll do it. It's the 6th of September.
It's too.
Pronounced. It is, but it's good. It's the 6th of September. Yeah, that was great. Yeah.
So there you go. When you hear that one coming up, you don't realise the amount of work that goes into it. 6th of September, four days to record each episode. So you know that they're super high quality. We'll catch you next week, everyone.
Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at Hamish and Andy. Com.
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