Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 163

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Ahoy to be General practitioner. Hamish GP, HP, at your service. Ahoy to me! Locum tenens. Oh, he likes to go to houses. He'll bill by the hour mark. Ahoy! Do you know what a locum is, Mike? No, it's a house doctor. My friend from the olden days. A fill in physician. So I thought you're filling in for a teacher. Yeah. Good. Oh. Very good. You're the locum panel guy. Because, Jack, as we say in the medical game, you'd be familiar with this as a locum doctor. His wife doth have pushed

I'm actually kneeling on the seat because I can't see you guys if I'm sitting normally.

So why would you ask? He's on his knees. It's like he's paying us to adjust. I just thought.

I don't know, I didn't want to disrupt you guys. You seem pretty focused.

You were speaking down into a microphone that was hanging really on a high seat, but you were in the position. And if. And people might remember that we are known as the three wise men. As as Brother Joseph. Jack has his child, Baby Jesus, in the manger with his wife Bianca. Mary, you are in very much a biblical kneeling position, like you're kneeling for the baby's arrival.

Well, if I sit down, I can't, I don't know. I just don't really have a vantage point.

That's a man sitting across from two other men. To be honest, I can see you. Fine. I'm sorry.

Guys.

But why do you need a vantage point just to see.

You guys.

Forward century? You don't need to have a high ground offensive firepower position over us. There are not other podcasters that are going to storm the studio and try and use the microphone. I just don't feel comfortable if I'm in a non defendable position. Are you going to tip oil on us?

No, but there's.

We try and get at the buttons.

If it's okay. I'd prefer to kneel. I just feel more comfortable kneeling. I just feel like I can see you better.

You defend the Saxon castle however you see fit. We promise as Vikings that we'll just stick to the coast. It's always fun when Jack's away. Um, uh, we should catch up with Jack later on. But he. He has had a child. You're on the buttons. He's on the bloody bottles. Um, we should also say Ahoy to Jess from Texas.

Ahoy, Hamish, Andy and Jack. This is Jess from Texas in the US. I just let my donkeys out of the barn, which is absolutely not a front for an illegal brewery. During this prohibition era, my hope for all of us is that this ridiculous amendment is ratified by the time this upload reaches you all, so that we can all enjoy adult beverages legally and together again. And also so I don't get caught bootlegging. Okay, bye.

So during the prohibition era, sent it? No, the website is faster than that to upload. Doesn't sound like it, because that isn't it. These time capsules we get from the past, which are now just hitting our servers. You hear the desperation in people's voices and you want to reach back in time and go, thank you for listening. Stick with it. You'll be able to enjoy a legal tipple soon. Um, hey, we're going to move on because there's so much of the show to get through today.

Multimedia. Yeah. Multimedia.

Multimedia. Mike. Multimedia. Mike. Um. Okay. On the very first show we had back this year, we had things we'd learned.

Yes.

And and I'd.

Learned that you sang Green Day in your audition. Uh.

Give me Novocain.

Yeah. For a choral.

Group. Vocal ensemble.

Yeah. Do you feel like the fact that you had a half scholarship for singing at school. It's part of your identity, isn't it?

I think so. It's a foundational part of my identity. Yeah. Yeah. It would have. It would have been. I don't think about it a lot. Just. Only on this show really do I think about it.

You don't wake up and go. You got this each morning in the mirror and you go, well, I'm in. That paid for me. It was probably the first time, though. You could equate performing with financial reward.

Yeah.

And not a lot of 13 year olds can do that.

And then every semester you get re, uh, tested. Yeah.

That was the that was that shocked us, didn't it? That was on the first show where you were like, even.

Through your pubescent era where your voice changed, you were still good enough to receive the half scholarship.

Yeah. I was told I had a really good gear shift, which is where you can change between the the boy soprano voice to a.

Prepubic toast pubic. Yeah.

It was well, they called it gear shift.

Sure. You can't say pubic too much around, I imagine as a high school teacher, without it, you know, beginning to feel like you should be finding another word.

Um, it shocked me this week, Mike, When I found out that a good friend of mine, Tyson, is also a DJ called DJ generic. Also went to your school and was also on a scholarship for singing.

Oh, my brother knows him. Does he? Okay. I think I think.

Okay, because I think he joins us now. Would you mind putting, putting putting us through. Um, are you worried that he's going to come in and steal your thunder?

No, I'd love to chat to him. Okay, that sounds interesting. Nice.

What do you guys call each other? Um, like, you know, scholarship. The scholar, choral scholarship holders. Do you. Do you have a fun name, like, you know, the semiquavers or, like, did you have a did you have a, like, a name?

You used to call them choir chums? Actually, we used to call them choir chums.

Yeah. This is an exclusive, I think.

On choir, and thought it sounded like chums, like, come on. Yeah, because.

I guess so.

You don't really, you know, a.

You don't have any. I mean, yeah, I don't have any chums from other activities in my life. Like, not too many. I was just in the pub with one of my beer chums.

Um, well, I'm. Tyson joins us now. Uh, Ahoy to you. Tyson.

Ahoy, boys. Good on you, Tyson. Um, and we believe we've got a question for you here. Um, question. Mike.

Hey, Tyson. How are you?

I'm good. Mike, how are you doing?

Really well.

Now, first question I'd like to know, Ty, is, were you on a full scholarship or a half scholarship?

Well, when I first started.

In grade five, in 97, I was on a quarter. And then it. Then it moved up.

They're frugal, aren't they?

Yeah, I know. And then. And then they moved up to a half.

Really. So that is that because you reckon they weren't getting the type of voices they needed just for a quarter offering.

Yeah, definitely. It was it was a scam. Like it was a lot of work for not much reward.

Did you or did you outperform and you were at risk of being poached by another school? Yeah. And they had to increase their salary cap a bit to keep you and put you on a half.

As much as I'd like to lie and say yes, that was the correct response. No, it was just, uh, I think they just wanted to give back to a little bit more to the boys that were doing so well, because singing for God, because you do.

Well and he would appreciate it. And you do hear you do hear all those stories. I mean, it's just it's such a well worn story of, you know, there's the kid in year six, you've got the choir scouts from another school sitting the parents down. Hey, we want to poach this chorister. There's huge money in choirs. Who do we go with?

So there you go, Mike. I wanted to see if someone had out scholarship to you, but no, they're all on half.

Because Mike Tyson, Mike's, um. Uh, he ascertains he's stuck by this the whole time because we always say, oh, you obviously weren't that good at singing. You're on a half scholarship. And he claims, no, no, that is the maximum amount of scholarship that you could get for singing work. Now, can I add another? Can I throw another cat amongst the pigeons Here. Go for it. I was recently at the pub with a beer chum of mine whose name is PK. You guys might know PK, former head of

I don't.

And I asked him. I knew this chap was coming up and I said, hey, quick question about high school. One of our friends, Mark, was on a half scholarship. He's like, oh, congratulations, you're good. But could you get more than that?

What did he say?

He said, look, I think you could.

But not for singing. No.

And that's what. So I pressed Mark and I said, and I said, yeah, but maybe you're thinking of sports or or academic. Yeah. He goes, no, I think you could get falls for all available. And that's from a head boy, Mike Tyson.

What do you think about that?

Uh, well, considering that when you were talking to PK, it was probably in an inebriated state, I think his recollection of events might be slightly mistaken. So some pushback here.

Some pushback here from the quad. But I mean, a head boy. A school captain outranks the chumps. I would have thought in terms of testimony we can believe. Yeah, but you.

Can't know every scholarship, can you? As a head boy, it's.

I think it's your job.

There's there's lots of us out there. So any choir chums listening? If you're on a full scholarship, write in. Prove me wrong.

Okay, okay.

That'd be nice. I'd love to see some alpha choir.

Do you know what? And I and I and I real. I hope people can understand what I'm trying to say here. I hope we don't get our emails flooded by people making very convincing cases. They went to high school with you guys and saying they're on a full scholarship. Okay, so that's not what we want. We don't want to have to be sifting through those and reading them out on the shelf.

Um, Tyson, did you have to re-audition Semesterly to retain the scholarship? That is, that seemed like it was a bit of a Pinocchio.

Absolutely. Never. Oh, never at all. Never had to do that. It was once. Once you're in. We were in. Wow.

And did you go through to year 12?

Yes I did.

Oh, there you go. Look. Hand on heart. Every semester, all of us. I spoke to a couple choir chums during the week, and they were like, yeah, I remember having to do that. Well, what.

Year did you finish, Mike?

2012.

What year did you finish?

Tyson. Oh four.

It's got more competitive, so it's got more competitive in the summer. Somewhere in that eight years, the school's gone. Hey, you know what's fun? Making these guys shit themselves for their spot? Let's get him in daily. Let's get him. Let's let's let's invent words like gearshift and see how, you know, like, let's get in their head. Okay.

Final one. Tyson. Yep. If you were on a scholarship, did it guarantee you a position in any other choir? Yeah. Or did you have to audition or. And was the audition?

What was your what was your quartet?

Uh, no, it was the senior vocal ensemble. That's not a quartet. Yeah, senior vocal ensemble.

Sorry.

I thought it was like the B sharps.

Mike reckons that he had to audition. I was saying that there's no way if they're spending money on singers, that they're not going to include them because they look bad. Yeah, it's mud on their face if they don't make it. So Mike has probably got sifted through. Uh backdoored. Um, Tyson, is that a fair assumption?

Yeah. We didn't have to audition for the senior choir. Um, at all. We were. It was actually compulsory that as, um, cathedral choir members, you had to do the senior choir, which was on Wednesday afternoons. And the interesting part about Mike's not just.

Nodding his fist pumping.

Vance Joy and Chet Faker were actually in the senior choir. They volunteered their time and effort, and I distinctly remember telling them, what are they doing? They're wasting their time. They're going to do nothing with singing. And so Vance Joy and Chet Faker.

Were at your school, and neither of them were on a scholarship for singing.

Neither.

You got to question the scouts. You've got to question the scouts. And Mike won't even pump out three bars of Green Day for us for the song. Now, Meanwhile, bands join selling out international tours. Yes, Chet Faker is doing well as well. The Scouts are off. They are well off. Yeah.

Rubbish.

Rubbish. Because look at the two. The two guys that they did give scholarships to have gone and made a career out of pressing buttons. You've got Mike pressing buttons over here. You've got Utah International DJ pressing buttons over in your corner. So they, they they understood. Some boys like music and and have an ear for melody. Just can't produce it with their mouths yet. Other boys at the school could produce it with their mouths and they went under the radar.

Thanks, Tom.

See you buddy.

No problems guys.

Man.

By.

The time it's 2022 and we haven't played this yet.

Hit me with your best chat. Natter away.

Chit chat. Champion. I didn't tell.

Mike to have that ready. I didn't. I didn't even point to him. How smooth. When Jack's not here.

He hears these things. And that's the advantage of working across so many platforms of media. It's just multimedia. He's in. He doesn't get thrown. He can hear audio, but he also still knows how to navigate visual. Yeah.

And he senses.

Online.

Um, chit chat champions. If you out there think you're the best at small talk, we'll put you to the test and pit you against someone live on the show today. Yasmin joins us. Ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boys. How are you going?

Very well.

Very good. Yasmin, what line of work is it? Or is it more of a social situation that you're great at? Small talk.

Um, no. I worked on reception at a psychology practice, and there was a lot of small talk there. So people usually pretty anxious when they call up or come in and.

Well, if you're going, if you're going in to see a psychologist, it is kind of the unspoken responsibility of the receptionist to keep the vibe up. Yeah. You can't. You can't be having too many awkward moments with people. Um, for them to be going, oh my God, what's.

Your go to question? Because you can't go, well, what are you here for? So, so so that's what what have you been up to or how have you been? Obviously that's you.

Gotta go external, don't you? So what's your go to question?

Um, go to usually.

How's your day been sort of thing. Just keep it casual. Make them feel comfortable. Yep, yep.

It is. I mean, I had someone the other day give me the I said, you know, how have things been? And they're like not great. You're like, okay, well let's talk about that. But you're not ready. You're actually not you're actually not often ready for a not great. It's really it adds a bit more to the conversation.

Well Yasmin, you are well equipped. Equipped then, uh, Carlo is your nemesis for today. In the next three minutes. Carlo, how are you?

Oh, boys. Happy birthday, Andy, and congrats on the SP.

Hamish.

Hello. He's come fully loaded. Uh, appreciate that. Carlo. Obviously. Um, scientifically correct of you to notice it, but I am trying to put it behind me.

Uh, Carlo, talk us through it. Um, how come you're so good at chit chat? Do you think.

Our well fella's on a daily basis? I cut old people's grass, so I've had many a yarn. So you're a lawn mower?

It's not a you. That wasn't a euphemism or analogy, was it? You just you go out and actually mow lawns.

Oh that's upbeat. Up to you to decide.

Andy mate. Okay.

Sounds like sounds like Carlo enjoys a bit of both, but that's good. Carlo. All right. So are you chatting to the owners of the lawns or neighbors or anyone that'll stand still long enough?

Oh, anybody that wants to come up and have a chat, mate, I'm ready.

He really feels like he's away. Okay, Carlo, we'll put you on hold first. Yasmin, you'll be up. Uh, Carlo can't hear this. Are you ready to go?

Yep. I'm ready. All right.

Let's go. Oh. Hey, Ham, did you hear that? Tom Brady is coming out of retirement.

Well, I know he said he's got unfinished business.

Oh, Tom Brady, um, I haven't really heard about him too much. Um, what's he. I wonder what he's getting up to when he's getting out of retirement.

Well, coming back to play football, he's.

Probably coming back to play in the NFL, where he's probably the most remarkable and memorable name to ever throw a gridiron.

Oh, no, I don't I don't know who he is.

Unlucky. Very good one. I mean, they're good. A good scramble. A good scramble for cover. But a and a good. I wonder what he's getting up to.

Um. Um, what's the what's the name of the guy that sings up there? Cazaly.

Oh. No idea. Mike. Brady. Brady.

Sorry, I was just. I thought you may have travelled down that path for a second if you didn't know. Thomas. Uh, Jasmine, it wasn't great, but it doesn't mean you're out of contention because things can freeze. No, because things can go horribly wrong in this segment for people. But we'll put you. We'll put you on hold, and it's back to Carlo. Uh, Carlo, how are you? Ahoy! You didn't hear that, did you? Not at all. Remember, you cannot reply with a question. That's the part of chit chat.

It has to be adding the interesting next piece of conversation, and we will be judging it on just that. How much did it move the conversation and was it interesting?

Good luck my friend. Got it, got it. Oh hey did you hear Tom Brady's coming back. Yeah.

He says he's got unfinished business. Always.

I am a massive Patriots fan. Send me to the send me to the Super Bowl any day of the week.

Oh. I love the confidence.

I can't send you any day of the week. It's one day a year, I love it, true love.

The confidence and a few a few interesting elements there from Carlos. Huge Patriots fan. That's not who Tom Brady plays for anymore. But that's okay. That's all right. But then the devil send me to the Super Bowl. I do like treating the send me to the couldn't remember the name of the big game.

The two goes at the big name followed by Sammy to the Super Bowl any day of the week. This is miraculous, but I think Jasmine's won.

You reckon?

What do you think?

I mean, it's it's interesting, isn't it? I mean, I love color. I like treating the people you're in a conversation with as if, like, I know we used to have a radio show, but. As if they're a radio show. Like, you know, I want those tickets. Send me to the Super Bowl.

Look, it was. Neither of you were elite. So that's something for you both to reflect on. You can both get a token of no value.

I think it's I think it's two tokens of no value.

It was it was fantastic today. Guys, thanks very much for playing.

Thanks. Thanks, guys.

Game podcast. Mike. Multimedia. Mike. Actually.

Multimedia. Mike.

Mike is kneeling still, uh, and very high in the seat because Jack is away. Uh, he has had child. He has, uh, congratulations to him, Bianca. And he joins us now. Jacko. How are you, buddy?

Hello, team. How are you?

Good to speak to you. Oh, Jacko. Celebrate good babies. Come on.

Isn't Mike meant to play the kind of music? Why isn't he playing anything?

Yeah, well, he's no Jack. He's. No, he really is. No, Jack. The studio is so organized this morning, and we came in. Carly was like, oh, Mike, did you already do that? I mean, it's really we're like two hours ahead on a show that normally takes us an hour. Hey, Jack. Congrats. How is everything going? How's how's the young fella?

He's great. He's so good. It's, um. It's been a whirlwind and a chaotic few days, but he's happy. He's healthy. He's got all the tics from the doctors, and, uh, we're back home again. So everything's going well? Yeah. What's.

What's been your biggest surprise?

Um. Oh. When people say, like, they they just don't sleep sometimes they really don't. And I don't know why that didn't sit like I don't know why I wasn't ready for that. We tried, I guess in the back of my mind I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They'll have to get tired eventually. They don't.

You guys don't you know about that thing where you like, pat them and hold them and pat them, and then they'll go to sleep after that. But sometimes they just don't.

And that's. Those are the moments where you go, oh, that's this thing's mine. Yeah. I have to sort this out. The the fun. Look, Jack, I saw the beautiful. You know, you sent us some amazing photos. Gorgeous picture of, you know, you and B and she clearly done an amazing job. You're there with your job. You're there with your boy. It's the day one photo. I just want you to mark these words, okay? Because I've looked back at my day one photo with sunny, who's now nearly eight years old.

Just just some.

Sleep. I already felt like I've aged since that photo because I guess on the first night they sleep a lot. Like the first time they're out, they sleep like six hours at a time. So that was taken the next morning and I was fresh. I was like, this isn't so hard.

I got this, I thought I would, I thought, I thought I'd be the best at this. I had an.

Inkling to be.

Natural. I did have an inkling of the parents was looking for. How are you going, Jack? With the learning, the holds of the baby. And like, is it, is it, is it? Are you nervous, like with the baby in your arms now, or are you guys sinking into one one thing now?

Bianca is very careful with him. I feel like I'm already cavalier and, you know, throwing him up and down and moving him with.

One finger like a basketball.

Trick. Baby moves all around the world. I mean.

How many babies had you held before this? Because my first baby two weeks ago. Wow. Yeah.

Honestly, not many, but my brother just had a baby nine months ago, so that was kind of a great training. I even changed his nappy, so I had to change one nappy. Held him a couple of times. You ready? And I'm ready to go.

Basically it's basically like, um. Yes, we had a flat tire once, so I think I'm ready to drive formula one. Jack, I remember one of my one thing that's always stuck in my mind, and I actually still say this to sunny in my head and out loud at home, and he doesn't know why. When we first had sunny. So again, like, we're talking like, seven years ago. Yeah. You and I live very close to each other in Fitzroy, in Melbourne. Yeah.

The king of the kids.

And I still say that to sunny sometimes in the morning, like you come into the kitchen or something, and I say he doesn't really know that I'm saying it because of you, but I always it's just stuck in my head. So I hope you're doing lots of hello young man's.

Yes, I'll bring that back in. I'm gonna incorporate that again. It's very formal way to address your baby.

Good morning, young man. Yeah. Jack's running a boarding house from the 1600s. Oliver Twist is in there.

Um. Hey, Jacko.

Refer to me only as Mr. Pope.

Mr..

Father Jacko. Of course. Last week on the show, um, huge. Or maybe a couple of weeks ago. I can't even remember now. Um, baby, baby blue for me. Um, the big ask was in play. Let's start with the first name for your your baby. Um, what is the. How have you. We know now, but for all our listeners. Yeah. What is the name of your baby?

His given name is Gordon.

Right? Tick. Beautiful.

And his last name. His last name? Post. Conventional. Conventional. Go go go go go. I'm trying to start.

Yes, I thought that was good. The big ask was naming rights to the middle. In the middle. Not obviously usurping Bianca's. Was it grandad or dad?

Giancarlo? Her dad, I believe. Is that correct?

Dad? Yep. Yeah. He has his grandfather's name as a middle name so far.

Gordon.

Gordon. Gian Carlo.

Now, is there any additional name alongside Gian Carlo?

There is a blank space and then post.

So there's room for your name.

Do you mean a space like a one character wide space?

One character wide? As in John Carlo finishes on the O base post. No room for anything.

Are you trying to sell into Andy that that space represents him.

Jacko. Was it discussed?

Yes it was. You know what? It didn't. It wasn't even a discussion with Bianca. Ten minutes in the car, on the way home from the podcast, I thought, you know what? I'm not going to do that.

I can't believe you even entertained. We were sitting there being like, oh, hey, let me make my case. I was like, Andy, he's not going to deny it. Even if somehow if Jack believes this, imagine Jack in the hospital as you went to fill out the birth certificate. If you went. Oh, sorry, I didn't mention, but we're doing a thing on the show where for me to not feel guilty about losing something. Yes, we need to slide Andy in there as well.

So the big ask is still in play. It's back. I'll throw this at you just on a whim then. Jacko, your middle name. You don't have.

One. You don't have.

One. I'll pay for it.

That would be more appropriate.

No, I and no. Only because.

I don't want to.

Fuss with the passports. Like getting driver's licences.

Represent more admin for you. This is a man.

This is a man that couldn't even be bothered remembering 12 words. When $100,000 was at stake for a bitcoin. We know he's not going to fill out a form.

Jacko, will you be back next week?

I'll be back. I'll see you guys in there next week. Thank you.

Oh, shame because I had the beard ready today, but now I guess I could. I'll do some final touches on knitting Gopu's beard.

It can always get longer. That beard can always get longer. So keep knitting.

I'm more refining the edges. Now. Let's not get too carried away with the barley.

Stubble, my friend.

Jack, could you send me a picture of your. I'm assuming we have, um, same size hands. Your hand cupping his ear to ear. Just so I make sure I know I've got the dimensions right as I knit this beard. Is that possible?

I'll take the photo right after this. Thank you.

Thank you. Jack. Congrats mate. See ya guys. And we're about to head upstairs because Angus Brayshaw, AFL premiership player for the Melbourne Football Club. He's in the building, he's in the building and he put together a special skill where he can pour wine in three different types of glasses, but they all go. The wine will go up to the same level, not the same amount, but the same level across the three glasses when they bought back together.

Distance from table to meniscus. The word that Mike enjoyed us using a lot last time. The top of the fluid. He's upstairs. Let's go. Let's pick this up. Up there.

What goes up a level today, doesn't it? This is.

Professional.

A professional athlete in under the pressure of a special skill on the Hamish Nerdy podcast. I gotta say.

Right now he looks pretty good. Angus Brayshaw, welcome to the show.

Feels good to.

And what's the old adage?

Look good, feel good.

All good.

All good, all good.

Yeah. Slosh good. Slosh level. Swirl good. You are here for your wine skill. Now, you came to the show in a slightly unorthodox way by contacting the show personally to say I'm not sure what the etiquette is on this, but I feel I've got something I can offer. Sure.

But we've since reviewed that and we're like, it's a bit lost touch of us to, uh, just let any old, you know, celebrity contact the show and come in. But we liked it. We like the feeling of it. We loved.

It. The door remains open for other celebrities. Very happy to do that. For a professional sports player, if you were a professional in any field. Absolutely. The back door. Not any field. Not any field. Not any field.

I'm a top lawyer.

You're not going to find a better roof taller than me.

So. But if you.

Are.

Late at something like Beyoncé. She can backdoor it.

Absolutely. That's been a show policy for years.

She's got an open invite. Yep.

Um. Standing invite.

Be careful if you reach out, if you're the best at something and we're not that into it, it might not give you that that straight access.

The reason I was interested, Angus, because obviously as a premiership winning, um, AFL footballer, hand-eye coordination is a big part of your job. Yes, it has to be. It has to be, right? So you're born with it. You train for it. Could we see something magical here in your special skill? Can you give it to us in a nutshell? Less of a special skill.

From my perspective, it's just a poor. It goes level. It gets drunk. Wow.

Okay, so like Superman going, hey, to me, it's. I don't really see it as flying around. I just see it as getting from A to B. Yeah. If you think it's impressive. Sure, sure. That's just how I move I fly. Yeah. So, um.

So I pour it to the same level, and we've got, uh, a few different glasses there.

So three different wine glasses. We bought one in each. Um, Jack was meant to be in, uh. But he's away at the moment with kid, so Mike will be stepping in. We're going to be at opposite ends of the table. Angus is going to pour the wine, and we're going to make it very clear. It doesn't. Not the wine. It's red wine. That'll be definitely red in colour. That would be.

A reverse Jesus if we made it clear. Turning wine into water. I don't have that skill. That's not what I submitted. Jesus, if you're listening, we have a policy about celebrities, and you're welcome to come on the show. Whether you turn water into wine or the other way round.

It's not the amount. You aren't going to pour the same amount in every wine glass level. Yeah, it's to the same level. So someone might have a smaller glass. We'll end up with less wine, but when we bring all the glasses back together, there'll be a spirit level, a ruler that we could run across. All of them. Yeah, absolutely.

Henceforth, going public with this? Yep. Um, it's going to be hard to pour.

Another.

Bottle in peace. I'm prepared for that. I've done the cost benefit analysis. You may.

You may never pour again. Well.

But that is why we salute. Whether you have played sport at an elite level or you are like, you know, all the people that come on for the special skills. That's why we salute them and we support them because you sticking your head above the parapet, above the castle walls, and you could get an arrow through the eyes. You could also get a hero.

Catch an arrow with your teeth and spit it back.

With your teeth, and earn a coin that could make the kid make the king happy. So you salute the courage of all our special skills. And you're you're no different. I suppose the difference here between this and playing an AFL game is that's a team sport. Sure. It's just you're against another team. You're only against yourself. Here, look.

Before we get started, because I, um, the thing came out last Thursday, the last podcast was last Thursday, and I've had a lot of backlash of sorts.

Oh, really? People?

Just people that are speaking to me about what? Poppy. Yeah, that sort of thing. So there's a few things I wanted to get off. Uh, prepared statement. Well, no, just because I thought of them at the time.

And I was like, you've got notes.

Over the week. I was like, gee, that doesn't sit well with me. So we can just talk them out. The first one, um, a lot of people are lost. Common touching with me. Um, yeah. Because I'm this is a wine related skill and that's true putting it out there. But I would say, let's not discount what wine has done from the. If you look at the path from common boyhood to common manhood, if you haven't had a sack of cask wine in the sack over the journey,

You were giving your lost touch shirt.

That upsets me because if I've still got my first goon hanging up in my room.

Okay, let's let let me put this to you. That has to be. How often have you done this skill with a cask?

So my second point. I just wanted to bring him up just to talk about.

You, demanded Grange today, so I assumed.

Well, I actually spoke to Carly and said, should I get something to thank? And, you know, the boys have me. And she said, Andy only drinks Grange. I was like, that's a bit. That's a bit too much for me. Um H&;R currency yeah. Is that that's that's a coin you've minted? Yep. If I do this.

You'll get.

Yourself you'll get a coin.

And that buys me.

Well on the back it is pegged to Bitcoin.

But you have to find your own.

We can't stress this enough. The. roof. On the back of the coin, it says one H&;R coin equals one BTC because that's our feeling. Sure. And if you can find that in the secondary market, good luck to you. Can it be? There is no reserve Bank. Sure. You cannot sell it back to the show for that amount. And as we always say jokingly, it is equal to one Bitcoin just ticking.

Off in my head what the lawyers told us. And I think we've got it.

Good for that.

We had yes.

One just had an incident where someone sort of just missed the missed the joke a little bit. And it's not it isn't a joke. It is, it is, but it isn't. It is. It legally is. Yeah.

Stage is set. Yeah. Angus is at one end of the boardroom. Mike, you've got a glass in front of you. How are you feeling, Mike?

Feeling good and thirsty.

Gosh. How often do you say that?

So you've been to a wine bar before, Mike?

I've never said that before. I just thought it would fit what we were doing.

So if you.

Go to a dinner party.

And you sat down and someone was like, would you like a glass of wine? Have you ever said something like that?

I don't drink wine. Really? More of a beer, guy.

Well, you covered really well. Often at a cellar door. People will be, like, very thirsty. Can you give me. And. Good. Yeah. Your most thirst quenching wine, please.

Um. Take us away, Angus. In your own time? Sure. Well, the first one.

Has to be the easiest, right?

First one to walk in the park.

So nice and easy.

Oh. Oh. Few dribbles, few dribbles before he gets in. That's okay.

Okay.

Now, this is, um.

That's a nice slow pour.

This one was a little bit smaller than the rest of them, so I'm just going a little bit over. That's not a glass I'd probably pour usually. But yeah it was it was.

A smaller.

Glass. And I'm just gonna relax a little bit. Okay.

I didn't know relaxing was part of it.

So do you normally sit back and take the other glasses in for people just listening?

Just just so you know, this doesn't normally happen at a restaurant. The waiter has a separate table where he goes, just gets, gets off the old pins for a while and rest the legs.

I'll tell you what again, Professional athlete.

They know when to rest. They know.

When to rest.

But also recovery.

Sizing things up, Angus made his way to the right hand corner. Well, this is where the chair was and has sat down and now is taking in his first pour. I bet, I bet he's doing a lot of calculations I made.

I feel like you know what I feel like Angus is doing like a magician when he does patter. Yeah, I'm just having a chat. Really? He's selecting the ace of spades behind his back.

Okay. He's picked this one up this time. I thought he would definitely pour.

Well, that is really impressive.

Well, I thought what he was potentially doing is going along, getting eye level across the table by sitting down. Oh, he's poured another one. It looks pretty good.

This looks pretty good. That is amazing I'm happy with that. That's amazing that you picked it up.

He looks he's picked it up. Now he's having a look at the last one. He's down at Hamish's glass. Now there was.

About swirling the bottle. He's feeling the weight.

I'll be honest with you. This is it. It comes down. That feels good. That first one. Yeah. This has to be the most weird looking of all.

It is. This is a glass that kind of. It's almost square, isn't it? Like it goes out square bottom bottom flanges out.

And Angus is now some 3.2m away from his original paw. So it'd be very hard to tell how high.

That he has picked up. I just want people to understand the difficulty. He's not keeping it on the table so he can get an eyeline or anything. This is all weight, all feel pure hand-eye. Yeah. It's just touch and feel.

Just touch and feel. I mean, the zone in the flow state. Pun intended. Because the wines. I'm gonna. I'm about to do it.

Okay?

He's gonna. He's gonna do it. Here we go, here we go. This picks the glass noses level.

Does he know he's the height of the stem? Hand shaking a little bit. So the is it's overtaking him a little bit. The pressure.

Does he have enough wine left? He does, he does.

It's a big glass.

Oh, no. He's giggled. He's giggled and dribbled.

That looks pretty good as well. How are you feeling about it? Do you want to top it up or.

It is. Probably just have.

To clunky way to move to pull one back up a little bit.

You can place it down that end. This is exciting. Okay. Swing around. Hamstring. To be honest.

With you, gents.

You're feeling good about it. Let's move in Mike's class onto the plinth.

I reckon that was criminal.

Wow. One centimetre over. Wow. It's like the three bears. Oh, and that's pretty good. Two and three are pretty close.

Glasses were the.

It was. Missed it by a mile.

I've missed that first one.

You kicked it out in the full.

That is it's almost a different game, isn't it. Yeah. Is it close to double the amount recorded?

Unfortunately, yeah. I mean, I know what I'm looking at. There's no way that's a it's not a pass. But let's point out the.

We can go into the excuse making phase if you want. Absolutely. Yes. We're now in the excuse making phase. Let's just look at the glass.

The glass. I point to the glass side.

You'd never have a glass that small in your life.

You and I and I were our lost touch. Yeah, and we don't drink out of probably glasses. That small?

Tiny.

That's a thimble, isn't it?

Yeah. So that might be against it. Look, Angus, no coin for you. We will give you a token of no value.

Are they the same? They can't be the same if they're called tokens of no value.

No, no it's not.

They have no value. Absolutely no value. You can attach value to it at a later date. Sentimental value.

But not we won't remember it.

It doesn't come with any pre-loaded. Yeah. It's like a prepaid SIM that has $0 credit on it.

But thanks for coming in, buddy.

Absolute pleasure.

It did look good. It did look.

Good. I'm happy with the big glasses. Devastating.

And I've had a lot of fun today. Yeah.

Well done, by the way. Uh, multimedia, Mick still kneeling high as.

I like it when you bow your head and clasp your hands, because then it does look like praying.

Still the highest vantage point we've ever had. Someone press the buttons.

We hope you've been able to see threats before they arise from your vantage point and we thank you for not using it to rain down too much. Um, too many punishments upon us.

You're welcome.

I think you've done a great job on this show. And not just this show in particular, but over the whole period. Yeah, um, you're a special guy, and I know that we often get you in on a whim. You know, you're sort of you're you're, you know, you're someone like, oh, the thought pops into my head and we go, Mark would be great for that. It sort of occurred to me the other day, we're doing this whole three Wise Men thing for Jack. We're all making

We've actually got to give out your certificates because it was. I couldn't believe it. Huge demand.

For those.

Huge demand for your certificates in future weeks.

A great example of Mike's selflessness because he's doing it for the listener. You know, anytime we've needed, you know, a Pokemon question, a Harry Potter question, touch typing, all these skills, you know, it's not just to.

Get egg boiling, egg.

Boiling, you know? Yeah. Outside the studio.

He's using it as his only black mark on his. He couldn't boil an egg.

But the rest, you know, the Pokemon, the Harry Potter, all the, you know, all the babe, babe impressing stuff. Yeah, he's he's got it. But. And I thought we never do. We've never actually done something for Mike. No. Do you know what I mean? And I saw the beautiful effort you put into the certificate. And I was like, you know, he's got he's done Photoshop. I want to get something for Mike.

It's amazing. Mike went home, told me he'd done this, and I said.

What are you thinking?

He's like, this is awesome.

Beautiful, mate. And it's like, yeah, it's not the cheapest. Yeah, but he's worth it. Yeah. I organised a bespoke thing. That's why it's taken a little while. I actually wanted it for the start of the year. But it is a statue.

Yeah.

Of you from a company that actually makes bespoke. Kind of like bobble heads. Yeah. And I'll let you unwrap it. Awesome. Be careful here.

Okay. I'm just grabbing it now. It's covered in a lot of paper.

You're really careful. That's Mike. And I thought what does Mike like? Mike likes bike riding. Let's get a bobblehead of Mike that you can have on your desk. That's from me and Andy. Yeah. And we went.

I don't love bike riding. Where'd you get that from? Oh, you.

Like you like to ride.

A bike? I've got a bike. I ride it occasionally. It's.

I hope we got the model correct on your bike.

It's really nice. Thanks, Hamish. That's really generous.

How's the likeness, do you reckon?

Yeah, it's not bad. I don't have blue eyes, so I don't know why the eyes are blue.

That might have been lost in translation. I might have sent them a low res photo, but. Yeah, that's just from. That's just from me. That's just from me and Andy.

What's the joke?

No, there's no joke. Can't. Can't some friends give another friend a beautiful bike statue on here?

It looks so much like Mike.

It says Santa Cruz on the bike.

Is that the kind of bike you own?

No, I own a black.

I have a Santa Cruz bike, so.

Ah, okay, so this is a bobblehead of you that you had made. That's why it has blue eyes. And look, it actually, it actually does. You it sort of does look like me. So like you could get away with so.

Much like.

Mine does look bad for.

You.

For those damn eyes. We would have got away with this.

It looks more like me. Me than Hamish. Except the blue eyes, I reckon. So. Do you.

Know what? Damn, damn those.

Eyes for the past. Like week on the run sheet for this show. It said question for Mike. Is this the question that you're giving me?

This? The question is, do you agree that we're great friends for organizing this personalized statue of you? No.

I think you've regifted this. Someone gave this to you.

I mean, shock, because it's.

So much like I.

Said, I got someone made him a bobble head. Do you know what it was?

That was while we were filming the latest season of Lego. My birthday came up and then they were like, what can we get him? And I ride my bike into Lego and they're like, let's get a bobblehead made of.

Mike on one of Hamish's bikes.

So the crew, I hope they haven't put too much. I would be very disappointed to find out. People have put more than $5 each in for this thing. Anyway, took a few weeks to make, comes back and the guy organized it goes, oh mate, we got you this thing for your birthday. It doesn't look anything like you. It's terrible. I opened it up and I went, gee, it really doesn't. But that kind of looks like Mike. I was like, I wonder if we could get away with giving Mike this on the podcast. It looks.

That's why I got the giggles. It looks so much like Mike. It looks a.

Bit like.

Me. It is like the closest.

It actually looks a lot like me. Exactly.

There are bobbleheads of famous actors. Thor's. Dwight's from the office. Stuff that look less like that. Looks like Mike. So true. That is. So that's a limited edition Mike bobblehead. So really.

The only thing you got to do, Mike, is just up your bike riding game.

Can I have your bike? The red bike?

You can't. But that's a real gift. But if you up your bike riding game. Yeah, you. It's a kind of up to you now to grow into the bobblehead. It's done its job. It can't. It can't be you anymore. Now you've got to be it. So you've got to get a red bike. And where I guess they kind of look like denim shorts. I don't know where. they go. Can you get us.

A photo of your best replication of that stance on that red bike? And we'll prove that it looks exactly like you.

Yeah, I might paint the eyes brown. I'm a brown.

That's okay. Yeah. That's okay. You might have to go to one of those, like, what's that game? Like, um, like the Dungeons and Dragons game. Like where they paint their figures. You can get those tiny, you know. You know, like Warhammer. Like, I think it's Warhammer. Like those brushes that have one strand for painting tiny models. Yeah. Go and get one of those and paint the eyes brown. Yeah.

Bill it back to us for the brown eyes, because.

We'll shout you a small brush. But that. That is amazing, isn't it?

It's really cool. I'm going to put it on my desk.

Mike, are you on a bike?

Mike spikes, are you lucky?

Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at Hamish and andy.com.

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