Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 161

Listen up production, activate your Internet because the Amazon M.D. podcast starts in three two. Sorry, it's still buffering. One. Ahoy to you for 2022.

Hamish Blake.

A joy and and.

A joy to you, Jacko. Joy, guys, lovely.

To be back.

And where's our whistle tax and we doing that and it's still where you I'm the re gunner and Jack's rota mechanic. I think we have to guess what vessel we're on. And in that case, it would be obviously a Chinook or some sort of military helicopter.

I'll do it for next week then. I just.

I just wanted to try. Just do anyone I talked to lifeguard? Yeah. Working reception.

Okay.

Pool could be a beach. No reception at the beach. Yeah, you're right.

You know, I'd love to get a base reception.

Jack, if you've got a very high flying solo. Got it on the board.

Also, ahoy to Sean Ham, who used the High Machete website to upload audio.

Very, very nice to for Summer.

Ahoy, Hamish, Andy and number six, Sean here from Utah, USA, just checking in to self-report, losing touch with the common man. Later today, my wife and I have an appointment at the hospital to deliver our third child. Liam if you know the American health care system, that can be quite an expensive procedure to deliver. A child I know must be very nice to afford not only one, but three kids. Our goal is to actually have more kids than Andy

I I'd never do that.

Cause this audio here and start the difficult process of uploading it. Well, ahoy, boys. This is Liam, Sean's son. I was born 30 years ago today. He's finally figured out how to help my dad upload this audio of it's getting to now just a bit of feedback. A WhatsApp system might have done this to you earlier. Cheers voice.

And you know, that's probably from an ancient civilization, probably an Aztec.

I mean.

I know two generations.

Of.

Podcasters there pleading with Andy grind the system wouldn't it be nice to do instantaneous.

Worried about the security of WhatsApp. That's that's that's that's everything that they knew encrypted apparently. But you know I think the website is for.

Websites and.

I'm hackable.

As we as we've always said.

Time we want to start 2022 in the pod with something we've learnt over the Government mandated.

Break. Well we didn't have much time but as we, as we, I mean we spent most of it, we don't bore everyone. Barney and I spent most of it in High Court challenges trying to get back on air and we were looking good, sort of mid fed and you know, had everyone working around the clock, you know, coffees, donuts, smokes, ha, you know, may put that out another year. And then, you know by the time you know he's got rebuffed by the High Court several times. Yeah. It was almost

So the mandate stands but I know we hate it. I just wanted tried to go to the beach, but hated it.

Just stand there and stop thinking about the legal case.

But Jacko, what do you learn.

To learn something over the break.

Jack. Yes, as you know, my wife and I are expecting a baby later this week. Maybe even by the time the podcast drops today, we'll have had the baby pod.

Wow.

Double drop. I've got a baby fact that I thought was pretty interesting. Interesting enough for you to retell. If babies are the topic of a conversation like a in your own lives.

I will be for you for many, many months.

On what day do you think Australia had the single most amount of babies born?

Right. Okay, so it's a baby volume equation. Volume of baby? Yeah.

I think it like.

The dancing baby screensaver. A nation of it, September 17th. Now it's going to be nine months after a fun date, nine months after Cathy Freeman's run at the 2000 Olympics.

The thing that made everyone, Randi.

Excited, right?

Every moment, but.

I think a lot. Yeah.

But then who knows what happened after that? I mean, from memory, it was about 7:00 at night, the run, you know, things progress.

What what is it? It was July 1st, 2004, when the baby bonus came in in Australia.

Yes.

And what is interesting about it is it's actually used as proof that the expecting mother can subconsciously hold onto her baby for longer because they didn't announce the baby bonus until March of the same year. So people were already pregnant. And on the day of July 1st is the single most amount of babies we've have born in Australia. And the three days leading up to it is some of the lowest we've ever had. So people were holding on until they got their fax money.

The great hand clenching as it's now in medical.

So we had on the hundreds which actually Hamish you're on next week on Tuesday night.

I'm already.

On the TV show in general but the we had the little what year can the least day where babies are born on what day is the day.

Before that.

Was. Ah the day before that.

No. Of the year.

Oh, okay.

Oh, Christmas. Do people hold off.

You spot at Christmas Day?

Cause no doctors will do elective surgery. So. So you can book anything in the book?

Any great. And also people people are like, you know, like if you kid, you know, the Jesus jokes. Yeah. Same birthday. So you just, you know, you the 14 year Boxing Day thing, right on country.

Second grade, I could show you. How do you know.

Like jeez I had a I actually around fighting the mandate at a fairly action packed summer and I we moved houses you know it was I mean you sort of know a little bit of this story moved house over summer the night before we were moving house. Right. So we're going from the rental we'd been in because we're renovating. I woke up to go outside to get my car that I'd parked on the street to save a spot for the removalist truck. And the car was

I don't know.

I took my car keys which then allowed them to gain access to my car and they stole it. So bummer that happens. My thing is everybody, you know, they were in the house so that was a bit scary, but everyone was fine. It was just a sort of a it was just a.

We laugh about it.

We laugh about it. We don't laugh about it. But we certainly can have a giggle.

Because it was you got the car back.

Was a run of the mill theft. Yeah. Yeah. So the cops, they go, listen, this happens, mate. Sorry. You know, people biking to houses, they just look for handbags and cars and then they make the car. So they give you a bit of I my it's not be kids. It could just be someone that uses it for another crime like.

I'm.

Sorry I'm bomber, you know, you're trying to move house and there's a forensics team there and all that sort of stuff. So I said, Yeah, no, I like we'll give you the report. You call your insurance company and you'll log it and so on. Okay, great. I said, Hey, on my car, there's a thing it comes with an app and where you can like see you, you'd have the same on your carjack, a modern car where you

What I'm saying is.

I was like, yeah, it's like here it's like five k's away. You're like, Oh, my God, yes, we could get it. Like, so they like kind of like if the pain is dropping, like, you know, we would not ask you, we can use the radio, we could use the right. It was sort of in this club we all have a badge. Like we took it off and we all kind of work together. Yeah. So anyway, they, I'm like, look, you know, maybe the night it's burnt out or something doesn't. They're giving me the details. I

You never got insurance for it.

I went, No, no, you should. Oh, no, you should.

Yes. No, no, no.

I didn't.

Really remember. I definitely remember getting the car and certainly thinking rigorously about changing the insurance. And I'm sure I would have made the call. No, no, no. We don't have anything like that on file. And, you know, I would it wouldn't be with another insurance company. So as I'm learning that this car is not insured, copies of what they had in the door and go, we got it. No.

Oh, good. That is right. Oh, good. 0500 cool.

Played it. Very cool. Just a bit of like, yeah, well I was going to do it anyway. That's why, of course that's why you get insurance because you know, you never know what's going to happen. So I'm only an absolute man, so probably my ultimate fast and loose. So I don't know what the learning is because actually technically the learning is you fine here.

But I.

Guess that's.

Reality. The real learning is yeah, if you have the thought to do call.

For.

The for the insurance registered of course registered just must not run in the auto insurance gauntlet so yeah. Bloody good fun a sub learning from that is it takes ages to get fingerprint dust off. Then if you guys have ever had anything dusted for prints in your life. Real past.

Yeah, yeah, real past. Great learning.

That's as as the baby facts. But that's the that's a fingerprint dust fact.

He is a he's what I learned over the break and it came from something that podcast Mike Toby here on the show. He sang a Green Day song in his audition for a school choir.

Right.

Wow. From memory. Time of your.

Life. I think he went with American idiot.

American idiot. Know what I.

Know. You've got to be coming.

Is coming.

Broadcast my if it's American. Idiot. How tough. I know. Unorganized.

What is it? American idiot turned out.

So, Mike.

Yes? Hello.

First of all, first of all, am I right in saying it was American? Because Amy is just suggesting that can't be the song?

It was actually it was from the album American Idiot. The song is called Give Me No Vacation. It's a bit more of a slow song.

Right? More of an album track.

Yeah, it's definitely a B-side.

Okay.

This was for the school choir, where you eventually obviously successfully achieved a half scholarship.

This was actually for the vocal ensemble, which was an audition in year 11 and 12.

So you're already on a scholarship.

You're on a vocal scholarship, and they made you audition and see if it's a good idea. That's like making Brad Pitt audition for a movie. Hi.

I'm BP. Hey, tell it to me.

So they've already.

Recognized.

You. Listen to your school fees by half based on your vocal prowess, and then they make.

You audition for the vocal ensemble.

There were other boys at the school who were good singers but didn't have scholarships, so they had a right to audition to be in the voting.

People know you're on.

A school is a reality. There is a reality show in these functional choirboys.

So when you walked into your audition. Yeah. Are you, like, thinking, this is just, you know, guys, I.

Get paid for this.

Shit? Hey.

Mrs. Andreasen on the organ. Hit it.

I want to be a jerk.

And I was pretty sure I'd get it. Yeah, I think it was a melody.

They couldn't not put you in either. I'm not saying you didn't. I'm not saying you don't deserve the spot. I'm like, I'm a little bit because it was drafted. You have to play. You can't play. You're on the list clogging up.

You have used the salary cap.

On you have to play.

What a terrible look for the scholarship system if you don't, you know, if you don't get it.

Also, Mike, my name.

Well, yeah. Maybe ask. Yeah. Where did you get the scholarship.

I was in grade five five.

Receiving three B, B.

B, C and and then they still kept the scholarship all the way to year 12. Yeah, but your singing would have been nicer, younger out of me.

I imagine some might say that.

Yeah, I like the good. You know.

Some people appreciate my current voice.

But you say you had an angelic soprano voice? Yeah, yeah. As a boy. And then obviously puberty wreaks its wicked ways with the male body and all sorts of squeaking and stuff happens. And did you take time out of the singing game during the transition?

No, I sung every every choir at the school.

Did anyone ever lose their scholarship? Go through people?

Many people lost it.

Why did they what was there what was the review process like?

Weekly, you.

Know, I semester early like re auditions basically. So you'd go into a room and the choir conductor would basically play you chords and you'd have to like sing the three notes in the chord just by hearing the chord and just seeing and sight read music and stuff like that. And it was really intimidating. Like, See you in this.

Class easily because.

I've seen you do Aaron's TV stuff and I had to tell.

My dad. Yeah.

So it was actually be campy.

And I thought it was sharp D Sharp a.

Flat. So what was is so is this American idiot? It was an American shame. Okay, give me no account. Was that.

Edgy? Edgy songs. Hey.

Was that off? Was that your go to.

No, I just didn't know what song to audition. I didn't know that many songs.

If you if you you don't know any song you're going to see. Even if you had to audition for The Voice. Now, what song? Anything.

Oh, Bridge Over Troubled Water. Mm hmm. You know, original version.

Or, like, you know, would you jazz it up a bit? Because it's Simon Garfunkel originally, isn't it?

Yeah, it's Simon.

It wasn't just Art Garfunkel singing that.

I'm not actually sure.

Or just it's one of the rare songs where Garfunkel is allowed to shine.

Okay. And would you do the instrumental?

Actually, you know, I think I'd do Sunday morning by Maroon five. That's a good song. I think I'd do that. I just thought about it.

Well, thank you.

Mike. Thank you.

I was imagining that you're out on the stage going when you're.

We feel.

Sorry.

Actually, sorry. Oh, that's why they.

Give us Sunday morning by Maroon five. My quick take us out.

Sunday morning rain is falling.

No chance.

Right.

We actually get a house for UVA scholarship money back from school. I ask you this. Given college life.

Might ask you back, PIO, if you think that's.

Just.

I'm. You may love my UFC.

You really do. And. You know, I didn't know Friday night goes by where you're not paper viewing.

Animals screaming white rhino white.

And head off for.

Whatever it might be. I'm up to date for it. Not true, but I do love watching the Fox Sports News and occasionally there's some big fight going on.

But I have never said I mean, I've been known to watch you you say fighting, but I don't I'm not mad crazy fan enough of across a few.

I saw an interview with a over the break with a, uh, a UFC fighter from New Zealand. I might get his name incorrect, but Israel Adesanya. I think his name might be quite big at the moment. What?

What what category? What class? What white division. Naughty. If you have to guess of his body.

Oh, Farah. Well, you're right.

Okay.

He fought. I know he fought. Bobby Knuckles.

Tommy Pizza.

Let's see. That's Australia's best UFC fight. Oh, is it?

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to kill you. Akani didn't sound like Simon over to the second time.

Anybody call me Knuckles acknowledge that.

I don't want another Andy McInnes situation.

Yeah, yeah.

So I think they're in whatever the primo class is.

What's up? I know what you mean. Primo class.

I don't know. What if it's everyone's favorite, but they.

Depends on who their favorite fighter.

Is. Well, I was going to say heavyweight, but I don't think the heavyweight definitely is.

He's thin. He's like an old jack Paris before he got onto the chicken and peanut butter strike theme. Anyway, in the upcoming fight, he is going to fight a guy called Rob Whittaker.

Oh, that's what we know.

That's all we know. I know Rob Whittaker. I didn't know you think that was Bobby Knuckles. So I don't know if Rob Whittaker knows. He's probably not going.

To.

Make his first Australia's of it.

But I.

Know it. So, so he is. I think the fight's been and gone. But in a lead up to the fight, this is the interview that worried me for something Israel said.

What do you make of Rob's lead in here? He says this You've got this of an era of vulnerability to you these days. I've always been vulnerable. I'm human. I've always been all my vulnerabilities. I wear my heart on my sleeve, literally. So, yeah.

Jeez, wear.

Your heart on your sleeve.

That is.

Honourable.

Especially because you go topless in the ring. So you're going to leave your heart in the change room, which will be difficult for cardiovascular endurance. I mean, it is a tough sport.

You to wear.

A big fitness.

And say if he was talking about sleeve as in like just his arm to wear your heart on his sleeve or your arm, literally.

You'd certainly I thought you'd shy that side away.

Yes. So if you did have to wear your heart head somewhere else on your body, other than obviously perfectly encased by a rib cage and leggings, what do you think? The best place for Israel to put his heart if he is going into another bout?

I honestly think next year bowls is the.

Place.

He is used to.

Protecting it and you can't get it when you can accidentally.

It's illegal or it's illegal.

Yeah, that's that's bad.

And to be going through their mind the pain of going well, I know if I do it, what is it? Is it a, is there, you know points violation because it'd be worth a kick.

That.

Got him in the heart is.

Such a better idea because I was thinking like just lower back but then if you feel.

Ground and pound.

Oh yeah.

I fell back out of.

It soon as soon as I grab your legs and is as soon as the takedown happens landing on your heart.

You already hit some of the back of the head.

Could you would you please? What about.

Now, Aditi? Jan, what about.

In the mouth? How big a hug could you get in the mouth? The brain injury, free nose.

Or coach what a heart, coach. Jack, I don't want to have my heart in my mouth through your nose, mate. Well, you're a tough guy.

Well, well, she did.

Break quite heavily.

During the match.

Some suggestions for Israel going.

Forward for the next.

Fight.

Jack. 2020 to a.

Great year.

And international flights are open. You know what it means, my friend?

Really bustling to look at the sky from everywhere. I hope you can't find a plane on the ground at the moment.

I would say it's still not as popular overseas travel as it was in 2019. No, it's not about popularity.

It was about you have lost my Bitcoin. You give it up to speed.

How much of a bitcoin was? It was a significant amount. It was like a point.

Oh, no, it wasn't. It was dust. Yeah. .1. to point must.

Be not just that. The Bitcoin is about ten grand.

Well, when, when I when he first when I was first holding it for him, it was hardly worth anything now because the meteoric rise of Bitcoin over the last three years, yes, it is valuable now. So it could be worth 2010, 20 grand.

Yeah. Just.

Wow.

And how is this? No estimate.

Completely sold in digital.

Well, I'm very much in touch. Still was in touch all summer. I'm in touch today.

Okay. Absolutely. So for people who are.

Just.

Costing you your place price, I now know just.

For people are just joining the pub for the first time. Welcome. But I said to you that because you lost my bitcoin.

I lost my own bitcoin as well. So we all feel with the ship.

Ship.

Yeah, we. I would bet.

How much did you lose, Jack? Sorry. Just how much was in there?

I lost a whole Bitcoin and I lost 30 Etherium, which is like a baby version of Bitcoin.

Like a that's not does that's that's underground.

No. That I reckon 150 grand is on that behind that password that we don't know.

15 dusts.

Anyway so I got a big ask.

And did any as punishment for Jack not being able to get it we did settle he sort of like legally settled doing it was at the start of last year.

And.

I think it was in.

2020. Do you think it was 2020? Yeah. These seemed like could only be months away. The deal was somehow arbitrarily and cheapflights opening up as the side of the Asia-Pacific region. I think that was Jack, your your your like offer your counteroffer was you knew New Zealand and Fiji might, but.

I didn't want a bubble with New Zealand had to be outside Oceania. You said.

Give me time.

Even though the favour has nothing to do with international travel. That was the time line it was pegged to.

Yes. And now it's well and truly back out. People have been damning me and saying and obviously writing and I'm starting to come saying the big ask is time. And I've got.

That.

I've got a big ask.

I'm nervous.

Jacko. Your baby arrives on Friday.

This is it.

Because you can't have him.

This is Rumplestiltskin.

I don't want.

Nothing like the baby, like the king ordering a firstborn.

I'd love my name to be a much.

Clearer with Nice.

You won't change anything about.

Oh, no.

I want to. Bianca not first name would be nice.

You don't get it either. Get me.

I've promised her that she can have her dad's name. Is the second name here. Beautiful name. He's got. And Giancarlo.

Oh, that's lovely.

And his nickname.

So at the moment, he's got his middle name.

So it's going to be Giancarlo and the Post.

You reckon? Which. Another one in there? Yeah. Okay. Wedge another name in there. Wow.

I think.

I really think you should run this, both of you.

I like it because I was actually going to knowing this was coming up, I was going to try and weasel out of it, but it's not as bad as I thought originally. Right. I already think middle names to Posh because I'm no middle name. And I like Jack.

He don't have a middle name.

No, I don't have a middle name. And it's very efficient and I've never needed it.

I always thought it was hitching.

It's not anything funny like that. It's nothing. And I want I would preferably love the baby to have no middle name. Okay. We know names don't mean anything. I can see the shock on your face. I'm like, you don't know. You don't compute what I'm saying.

But it's just I mean, as a man who's married and had two children and been through the name selection process, it's like I'm watching me playing with a uranium fuel line and you think it's a glow stick.

And you think.

Guys, look what happens when I put it in my mouth. My cheeks glow. Isn't this a funny thing I found? You don't know what you're playing with.

It's a how are they going to be used? Like it. And it'll be really shocking.

I don't know why you're trying to talk him out of this. I feel like.

I'm the only one here that's trying to defend this to help this child.

Yeah.

What happens if one day I think the bitcoin gets more covered?

So I always going to try and ways will weasel out of it today with a suggestion of still trying to recover the bitcoin. I know we've tried this. I know we've tried on the on the show multiple times to recover the password. But now I've got the best laid we have ever had in the past.

Do you know what I know? It's a 15 word password or something.

So 20, 24.

24 words is trillions of possibilities. We are getting to the stage where it might have been faster to just try.

To the whole.

Combinations known word. It's been going on for this long. Who have you.

Got? So this guy, Joe, you can bring yourself up on the zoom. Is he been listening.

To all of that? The Joe. Who's this?

Joe, say goodbye to the to Hamish and Andy, and then I'll explain who you are. How are you? Thanks for having me, Jack. Thanks for losing the Bitcoin so I can be on the show now. Joe Hundreds and hundreds of fans of the show over summer sent me your YouTube clip because you have put a YouTube clip up where you rescue $2 million worth of Bitcoin.

I think I saw this guy show a.

Bit of hardware, a USB special USB that stores cryptocurrency. I've got the exact same hardware and that's where my bitcoin is lost. So if someone is ever going to hack it, it's Joe.

Joe So I still, you know, as someone that's coming late to the Bitcoin crypto party, you can store it. Some people saw on the cloud, some people just like it's on the blockchain and it's just in there. And then some people physically have it like a near like a USB. They call it a physical wallet. Is that what that is?

Yeah. So there is so there's a couple of different ways that the one that the Jack had is a hardware wallet. So it basically is a piece of electronics that will store your cryptographic information.

Can we so Joe, you've figured out a way to this actual specific piece of hardware. You cracked it, correct?

Yeah. So this particular type and you know, there's a saying where I come from in the hacker world, you know, everything is is breakable. Nothing's 100% secure. It just depends on how much effort you want to put into actually breaking it. Wow. This particular hardware that that you guys have is actually not based on any sort of secure electronic system. Like it's kind of a general purpose brain like you'd have in your toaster oven or like other sorts of low end devices. And the designers did not

So Joe, how much money if you retrieve from PayPal for for people doing this?

Well so what I did this first one was $2 million. And upon doing that, some friends of mine were like, hey, we should make this into a business. So we've done a couple other projects. I mean, there are hundreds and hundreds of people that have contacted us that have lost cryptocurrency. So Jack don't feel so bad compared to some of the values that people have reached out to us about. This is like.

What's the really.

It's like I mean, hundreds of millions of dollars have been lost.

I mean, thank you. You exist, Joe, and well done. And Bay, that you clearly seem like a very ethical guy because the temptation for me would be if someone's like, there's 2 million in there, you go in, you get it, you can go, man. Sorry, I couldn't find any grand people.

You know.

People people wonder about that every day. And it's like, I'm public enough doing hacking. People can find where I live. I've been doing this my whole life. You know, transparency is important in this industry, right? And especially with the currency. So it's like, I'm not going to run off with it. If I was a teenager and it was $100 million, that might be different. But, you know, now that I have a family and it's like, where's the limit of

Yeah. So transparency is really your insurance here or our insurance and that's your that's why that makes us secure.

So, yeah. Do you think you can get the money back for Jack White?

Joe, Joe, before you answer that before you answer that, could we ask could I ask Andy if you'd rather take the big ask or would you rather have the money if it can be retrieved.

Through a reverse big ask? Oh, is it basically like saying essentially if we assume both of these things are possible? Jackie is basically this is like going you can buy my son's nine for ten grand. Yeah. Yeah. Since Andy had.

Joshua, I think I'll think.

About that because what if he can get it back? If he can get it back, that's 10 to 20 grand.

Maybe that goes to you and your son. You put that in a little wallet for him and but I'll take the name. But the other thing is, I don't think you could get the money back or I don't think you do. They say the jack is.

Yeah.

So but that's my position on it.

All right. The sad news is I did talk to Joe just before we started recording, and I've done something wrong, haven't I? I it's not able to be hacked. Is that right, Joe? This is quite a lead up for such a sad response. Well, why don't you explain? Explain to me what we did, what you did, so I can at least you have some backstory to why this is possibly a problem. So the Bitcoin's on the USB, right? And you get so many attempts at the password. I

Now on say, Jack, did you you in your head, were you thinking I have the 24 words there in the other room. Yeah. I'll just go and wipe it. Did do do do do. Where were those 24 words usually.

Yes. I'll throw this key. Yes.

In the ocean because I've got the other key.

Oh, wow. What a task.

I just put these scissors from, like not shopping but can cut up caves. I'll cut up this house key because I know my other house keys in the other room. I want to say, are these scissors work essentially?

Yes. And now I want Joe to somehow break a window and still get into the house.

I had this a guy constraints pain. This is back.

On before I him.

I'm going to cut.

My head off.

You might have better luck.

Right now in trying to get.

This number is disconnected.

What have I done?

What have I done?

So it's like you could have your piece of paper, right? And if you lose that and you lose your your hardware, of course, the thought is that you would lose only one, not both. Joe, what I. What I was hoping you'd say is, even though I've wiped the device clean, that it's still in somewhere in the memories, like wedged in a circuit somewhere. Is the information that you would extract. Well, that's the problem is so there are so there are vulnerabilities, right?

We welcome to the world, Andy Post.

First name now, Jack. He's got to give.

Him an inch. He's taking you to stand up.

And as we as we mentioned before, a bit of Obama having the car stolen over summer. Yeah, but fine. Got it back. And nothing was really not actually nothing was touching the car. So kind of an amazing essentially from what I can gather, this guy stole a car to drive home. Like it was just a low, high off.

Theft. And by the wall, we walked.

Out and he's like, Yeah, I don't know what happens when the guys come here and it's just like, I can't feel you. Like what? I mean, that's it. Can't be worth it for whatever the ramifications are. Here's the thing. The nothing was touched in the car except on. I have loved using the car theft because this happened just before Christmas. I've used it several times over summer as a bit of a sneaky trick where I was like, Hey, do you have the receipt.

Think you bought?

And I've lost something. And I like, I think a buddy guy. I think it was in the car. I think I think it was in the bag the guy took from the car because I've invented this bag.

Everything you've ever needed in it.

And so it's a.

Bit of like, Where's Rudy's water bottle? And I'm like, That's the one I left at the park.

My car.

Because in that body bag, I think it was in the car bag. In the bag, because the sedan has been a trick that probably used three or four times. And how long.

Do you have? You've got of car bag.

For the bag stuff. It's getting harder and harder because it was months ago now. And so it's got to be something that you.

Wouldn't think.

Switching to make.

Would you wouldn't have needed for the last few months. Yeah. So if it's.

In the bag where we're getting bigger and bigger, like a suitcase and then.

Yeah. Where is the red suitcase. I think it was in the bag. I think it was in the bag. So the bag. I've loved the bag. The bags made a magic invention. Great. Here's another. Great. Can I give you another great trick I use the other night just following the top of your glove. It. I guess this is just me just doing an audit of some of my favorite tricks in the summer. We love a good not lying. You and I. And now people listen to the show for a long time and know they're not lying.

Who doesn't love a good curry?

You know?

And I'm not referring to this one. We love the not lying game. And I had a great one. I just pray, you know, during some I just got bored and decided to do it just by some impulse purchasing. Got the better of me. It was late at night. This is when the demons snake into my brain and I bought three pairs of sneakers. There was a sale and it was having a sale. And I thought, You know what? I'm throwing out all my old shoes to charity and I'm refreshing and refreshing. 2020 new is going

Can you find a price?

I know what size I am. Yeah, I know I'm a 12.

I never buy anything online, but if I come across something I like, like a shirt or something, I'm like, give me heaps of them.

Get five, get five. Yeah. So I know shoes are the best because you get them, you know, your size, you can't really get a shoe wrong once you know your size. But I also know that is a lot to buy at once and so does have a slight issue with me. I've just got a few too many shoes. Yeah. It's just because we all again, like, moved into the new place. There's a bit of a fight over wardrobe space. Yeah. She doesn't. And she has a point. She's like, she

Yes.

So I knew in the box from out of the house, turned up in the house, there would be questions asked. Turns out the other day this box turns up and I didn't really get to intercept it. So you take it in from outside, just like, what's all this? She goes, What's this from an address? It's like, I wonder if I can get out of this with a nut lying here. And I go, Oh, yeah, I just. I did it. I just do the thing without vest. And they sent me shoes, and I didn't. I didn't. Yeah. So this is what thing.

I keep.

Going. I haven't heard about this. Like some. Like what? I didn't actually go. I was just an online thing. Like, just.

You. You wouldn't have.

You wouldn't have. Even if saying it was just an online thing, like for free shoes. I was like, well, no. And then was like, like, I've got to go a bit on the offensive. So I go when I'm not just doing it for any shoes, it was only because it was the shoes on. Liked that. Then I agreed to do this. Like, that's actually the shoes I like. So I was like, All right.

You could have gone. It's not public either. It's just between me and the couple.

Yeah.

So I tried to make it sound like I'm like, you know, like they just said, I'll give you. I'll give you any I'll choose. Like, once I saw was the shoes I really want. Yeah, that's why I agreed to do this thing. So I said, yep. I was like, All right, then, whatever. But. Yeah. We had one.

Thankfully, he said. But yeah, it's, it's just, it's.

Just a little thing I'm doing with this golf club, like, and then I in exchange, I get a round of golf through payment. What's the thing you doing? I'm giving the money.

We are all wearing crowns now. Actually, Hamish isn't.

But time. I didn't bring a crown and I forgot to bring a crown in because we're doing the three wise man gift giving ceremony. Because, Jack, any moment now, you're about to become a father. We know it's a young boy and we thought, hang on a second.

The youngest tending.

The youngest a boy can be. Yeah, a very young boy, brand new boy, baby, human boy coming out. And we thought, wouldn't it be nice we set this challenge to the end of last year. We come back knowing that we're doing the first podcast back, like, you know, days before the due date for your son. We come back and we do the Three Wise Men Giving Challenge, which is where we each bring a gift myself, Andy and of course podcast. Mike Being three wise men bringing it to you.

This is right him. Obviously we hope all three of us hope to get the best gift.

But we had to make the gift. That was the that was the condition.

I didn't think we had to make it, did we?

Oh, here we go. Yeah.

That was the whole thing. We're making you a gift. I'm making it.

I'm making. I've made it. I'm going to.

Make back.

Real close to the barcode.

Oops.

I'm sorry. I didn't. I didn't bring my crown, but I have a King William Chocolate Boost.

It's great. It's amazing. Yeah, it.

Was the closest I could get at short notice.

All right, hit the. Hit the music, Jack. It was the last. He's lost his crown. Daddy's back.

I spilled a lot.

Okay, we've got to make. We had to make the gift.

Jack, do you remember it being make the gift? That was it.

I thought it was tough to make it. Yeah, just so I didn't get regifted something that Andy got for Christmas and didn't want.

Yeah, right. Sorry. It was the last day. It was last show of the year. That's okay.

Yeah. I mean, I said the challenging because I think I had it in my head like, okay, I've got an idea of what I'm going to make. And maybe that was that's why I remember it that way. But I mean, how do we want to do this?

Well, I mean, why is that? I first I haven't made anything right, but I have commissioned Jack, a portrait, painting, portrait of the three of you. When you come out, you have to go sit there for 3 hours.

Why can't I just use a photo?

Well, it's just nicer if you're there in person is bespoke, otherwise you just maybe keep up a photo. I want to. I want this to be unique.

Jack, because some of the Teddy babies themselves. Can I just tell you, when you have a newborn, that will be fine. They'll say they have 3 hours.

No worries.

There should be no problems with this show.

Bianca and I will have the energy to take 3 hours out of our day. And one of the.

Most common conversations you'll have as you parents is what can we do today? We have to fill the day. We are so bored, we need to fill 3 hours.

So. But now that we have to make it, I'll. I'll happily do.

It. Yeah, that's so beautiful.

Yeah.

That's beautiful.

We'll sit for you for an.

Hour.

To see that came out. Okay. That's. That's lovely. My cabbage. You go. You get.

It? Now I have with a newborn going.

You should sleep.

For hours.

It's sleeping. Yeah. I mean, you might. You might get bored, but you will.

You come to our house and chill, right? I'll actually look forward to that. That's a great gift.

Thank you. Thank you for your generosity.

I've kind of gone a different route on this. I also don't remember that you had to make something of yourself.

But.

I called one of my friends yesterday to discuss and I had an idea and I said, Don't you have to make it yourself?

So they did remember. They knew.

I remembered. I just couldn't remember. So I had to change my idea at the last minute. So what I've actually done is I needed to come up with something that would increase in value as time goes on to give to your son, so that as he grows up, he ends up with an asset. So what I'm actually going to do is I'm officially launching an exclusive official, Hamish and Andy merchandise piece.

You know, it's the hair.

It's the hanging on.

You continue your mission, Andy. Have a great life certificate. The perfect gift for a newborn baby.

This is great, Mark.

And there are only ten of these in existence. Listeners, if you're expecting a child, if you've recently had a child be one of the nine other people Jack obviously gets the first one will be one of the nine other people in the universe to have one of your mission. Andy's official have a great life certificates.

This is like a sheet of tape.

It's a certificate. Yes.

It says great life from all of us here at Hamish and Andy. You give it to your kid as soon as they're born, you will love it.

And not a moment later. As soon as they get that should be as the hand is reaching for food to give them the certificate. I actually.

Think it's more valuable than most any face and you can.

Use.

The placemat and the ink in it is well laminated.

That is nice.

Email the show the first nine people to. I will be the lucky nine people.

Do you have to have a kid?

Well, if someone's having a kid and you want to give it to them, whatever you want to do, it's your asset. Do what?

Do people have to buy it or.

Know it's a for free? And then how does one get just decides? Okay.

And it consumes. Because then what I.

Thought is.

Why ten? I mean, it's immediately different. Yeah. I mean, like.

Save yourself the hassle.

Right.

But Jack would get rid of it. But what I've realized.

Oh, people still in this city can it?

Here's the thing, Jacoby. Manipulating the secondary market. The minute we hang up the headphones.

People aren't stopping having babies. But there will only ever be ten of these.

Yeah, that's like what your grandpa said to invest in placemats and certificates. And I'm making.

More of a.

Ride into the show.

They're not making any more.

Of an impression. And you will be signing all of them.

Okay.

You've gone mad.

Like, how much? Oh, this is a lovely gift, even though the Photoshop skills are really rudimentary. How much can I expect when you say 21 to resell this for?

I reckon by the time he's 21, he could sell it to a fan of the show for like $400,000.

Remember, that's in 2050 $3.

So still a fair bid.

On a 2040 $3. So, you know. Well, we might be all using water credits, by the way.

Yeah.

Well, okay. Follow that market closely.

Jack, right into the show.

Jack, you. I mean, what to get your special boy was going through my head. Got to be something you quickly.

What were you going to buy, Jack?

I bought him a frankincense, deodorant and a toothpaste. As in, the three wise men.

Show the two things that aren't gold. Yeah. I didn't want to get him and say what you've done.

What are you doing with those now?

They're in my bag if you want to.

Right?

I mean, you didn't hear in the manger. Yeah. We also got you like an amethyst crystal. Like if he wanted it in our bag.

No doubt Mary left the frankincense in the bar, and she goes, Yeah, I love this.

Great. Oh, that's great. That's what baby doesn't love our heavy incense gaffer. Jack, your special boy is on his way any minute now, you and I, you know us three. We have a great bond, but you and I have a separate bond as bad boys.

We do.

It's not an alliance. It's an agreement, but it's a strong agreement. And the bad boys have been through a lot. So when I heard we were getting a new boy, the lineage continuing of B boys who your son will one day grow up to grow a luscious beard and join the ranks of bad boys. I thought, What can I make this boy? Rather than everyone's going to be knitting you booties and knitting you scarves and beanies and things?

Wool boys are you why? There is like a baby Santa?

I am actually not happy with this one. I mean to redo it in brown because the edges are a bit frayed and it's coming apart a bit. But that's so it's this is not the finished product.

Is there any evidence of you actually making it?

What do you mean.

When you say you make cakes but you guys get cakes delivered and you assemble them? Is there any evidence that you actually.

I can show you the receipts for the.

Wall to me.

Not just any video footage of you. Just do this, do the nails are there, just this? Do our line for us now.

What's finished? It's finished.

Off. No, it's not. The needles are still into it.

So do you know what? That's. That's they're out there.

Just.

Like the same shop. And, you know, I think that's good in know the wool is genuine wool is coming off here guys. Wall to wall Jack. Mm. The.

The thought is what counts and I genuinely.

I got to Jack.

He's what I promised you. Within the next two weeks, I'll have a beard knitted for your baby. I will need him a proper beard, will you need it? I will need it because I.

Don't need it. I'm not painting.

I will need a jack. I'm going to need your baby a beard. So he's a beard boy. Right.

And is it going to be more beard like. Yes, is a bit square.

Okay. Just listen, mate.

The prototype doesn't look that much.

Like a bit of worry.

Full disclosure, I had planned to have the beard ready today for the big reveal all summer long. I just knew I was going to get round to learning how to meet. Yes, I only started a few days ago. It's not easy here. It's quite difficult to knit. I can near the strip but I know I can make it into a beard shape. I just need a few more days.

What you do you in? Just bought a scarf and cut it up. I bought a cardigan. Cut it up. Yeah.

I was hoping to get away with it. But you spotted the chopsticks because I actually didn't. I went to the food court downstairs, and there's one of the shops next down at the food court. And then I stole the chopsticks. Jack, this is evidence of my intent to meet your baby. I wish I had a brown cardigan, and I wouldn't have had to answer all the questions about Lost Boys.

Two weeks.

So two.

Weeks.

You're getting a baby and admitting your baby, and Jackie's going to be a big boy. What do you think about.

I love it. Thank you. I'm looking forward to it.

Two weeks ago. So long time. No one believes this time. Lord, you're like a baby.

I.

I know the supply issues.

All the best, Jacko, this week, but it's.

Going to be great. Tell him about the beard. It's going to be with him soon. And then you can paint him with the beard on.

Don't forget your certificates.

Once we got that.

Andy, don't come.

Thanks for listening to Hamish and Andy. Podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute. But hey mission. Andy become. Listen to.