Hamish & Andy 2021 Ep 147

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Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three two. Sorry, it's still buffering.

One join him. And boy, man. Hamish, you boil.

Man.

Boy. Lemon. Oh, boy.

Piping hot.

Sir.

Phrase on the nose.

Avoid my water tender. Jacko. Oh, it's nice and cool. Boy, you know, it's a steam engine that we're doing.

You're off your you haven't you think you've worked the rails a.

Day in your life? Drew, I haven't. I've got to believe that there are seconds.

Yeah. Steam engine, famed Hamish. You were on onto it. Boiler man. Jack. Are you sick of being woken by your water tender? Not as highly ranked as a boiler man, but still Im in the hot room hoping to make sure that that water gets to a boiling and steaming temperature. What? It's cool. So saying that we have a problem.

He sounded a bit relaxed. I mean.

You've watched Thomas the Tank Engine. You would know the.

Core.

Principle of steam engines is you never relax. A mechanical issue.

That's the whole problem with any.

Anything in the Thomas the Tank engine world. It's like, you know, oh, no.

There's not enough coal. I could say all.

The ingredients for steam engines are very fiercely debated about.

You can't be that relaxed, Jack. Anyway, ahoy! Two to Lucy, who uploaded.

Signal Control.

To Lucy.

Who uploaded her audio very easily, I would suggest.

Was on this.

Is DeKalb.

Illinois, number six. I hope you doing well in this lockdown. I hope you are keeping that Tesla within your five kilometer radius. Just wanted to have it plugged in here and let you know that I think I have blown something wide open here. Sorry. Last week I was cooking a slow cooked, pulled pork dish and the recipe called for some Halloween hours. So I purchased these older house. Hello, painters. And I noticed the chili smell. One, two, three. We've

Wonderful insight really conjures up the vision of tossing and turning, going.

By a lot of that. Why is that?

A business go a selling point. It blows the conspiracy table, not a close. The questions I suppose, we have for old El Paso Diva and a company that's been bought for a non sponsor.

The company has come up with lot.

Amazing amount of airtime this year and keep it going if I can for a second. Okay.

The Texas quickly, does that satisfy Jack, maybe what you're encountering with that chili heat system that you did? I think she's absolutely right. There is. And and thank you for everyone sending it to me on Instagram as well. There are three chili versions of the sauce. There is just more of the mix. Old El Paso Australia's Instagram sent me a photo of a white unlabeled packet and said, This is coming to you soon with free chilis dancing.

Oh, but that was months ago.

Now and that never came. So I'm worried that they thought that that maybe came to me and it never did.

Maybe they heard about your mission chip sponsorship.

I better realize that you play.

Both sides of the Mexican.

Border, Jake. Take it. You've got the.

What I would say the prominent is a lady if the prominent brand wanting to satisfy you with a bespoke seasoning kind of way. But I just thought, was.

This something they were working on? And I just think it'll be make you happy. I think I don't think just I don't think the cheese does go across the whole brand because obviously don't put them on tortillas. They they all the tortillas. And so it's not like everything they make has three chilies on it. You're color and depending on the hotness. Can I just say I forgot to mention this to you guys a couple of days ago.

With I a.

Lot of the no mass campaign. Surely now you idiots, you must be out to get it all in the pocket. Yeah, it was the theory because obviously bread doesn't talk have the, the, the ice and the can fall out of. Yeah. People don't like that so this is the no mess pocket.

Was a good.

You know, we you know, we're not paid to out here and this one person.

Because my worry is, is that you can't then layer it properly either if you have stuffing a pocket. How can you lie? Like he's. No, they're making a fall to the bottom or.

Well, yeah, you got to be good. And you obviously know it's just a jam, even like an ice cream. Yeah, that wouldn't be the way to make a burrito. I used it for breakfast burritos. I was making a brekkie burrito for me and my son. A lot of hype about the pockets that we get in the pockets. We got the pockets, open it up. The thing is, the pocket is obviously a 3D. You want to create the three day shape. That's they flat.

Packed. Yeah.

And unfortunately, the very first pocket I picked up along the same along the resting of the fly back and picked up it had a crack.

At a crack, a tear in the pocket. And my heart broke off. How's this for all you've done?

Yeah. You now need pockets with reinforced folds on them because the it was failing along the side of the pocket.

And did you find one that didn't?

None of the others did. Just one out of.

Let's say.

11.

Of.

Them were fine. Big. But you're right. I mean, you got to I'm spooning in the bacon and eggs like scrambled egg mixture I had and some AVO and you kind of like you're building it you have to build them hovering.

Yeah, that's hard.

So you, you hovering it in your hand, squashing some AVO and then spooning lucky with bacon and eggs.

Or putting something in a letterbox.

It was. Yeah, it was. It was like, I'm trying to but but if you had a letterbox for it was very important that you junk.

Mail went in the middle.

And bills them local announcements then a magnet from a real estate agent.

Anything on the the.

Home we wanted to kick off the show with a look a bit of housekeeping.

Yes we do this from time to time.

We are a show that does peter out on a few ideas.

We risk Peter out.

We risk paper out. But we wanted to make it clear that some things are not petering out. Yeah, but COVID and the pandemic has thrown off the throwing them for a loop.

I mean, Clive is really the source of a lot of Peter at the concert hall. We'll do Peter out for a moment there.

There are a bunch of special skills that people been asking for that we've said yes, we'll get you on for.

Yeah.

And two that come to mind, the nine letter word girl that can get the matrix.

Oh yeah.

Yeah. Out of the paper. The matrix of the letters. And can he get the nine letter word every single time. We haven't been out of fly. Anyone in to be able to do that we need to do it in person.

We do. We need someone. Do you actually need to walk past it? Because at my mom's house that you are regarded as, yeah, there's no faster way to win my mom's approval than to walk past the nine letter word in the age of the Sydney Morning Herald, the.

Matrix of.

Letters and go, Oh, serendipity, whatever. And Mum will be loved forever. I mean she loves.

The other one was be a tasting fellow. He said he can name any B aircraft B like if he just buy taste again, we can't fly people in so that they're all there. They're sitting there and we understand that when situation changes for Australia, boy will we have just a hot run of special skills being tested in the flesh.

Yeah. What about fake plants again?

We'd love him to come in. He can spot whether a plant is real or fake from across the road.

I really want to say that.

Because we can do it in the flesh. We it's tough for us to hold them up on a zoom and then go. That's if they.

Are in the flesh. And a big one that's been coming through in terms of, hey, what's going on with this? Which I haven't really addressed on air, but I've got back to a lot of people online only fans. You're only a fans of camp I've I had did let that Peter out I stopped the payment I made it free haven't dipped back in there I obviously stopped you know the content production. Yeah.

Because it was poor.

Well it just was hard to get hot shots of you. Yeah. Then, you know, then a few months later you got the dog and I had a lot of people going mad. He's just. He's doing selfies with the dog in his undies. It's like, you know, as if that was the that was really the final nail in the coffin.

For finally fans where well.

If I'm trying to put this hot shit up and maybe you're doing soft porn shots with the dog, not not just, you know, sexy shots like it and gaze on.

I felt sorry for you.

Were doing my firefighter calendar stuff.

Anyway, you.

You were doing some dog underpants stuff. And then people were like, well, the only fans is it's that, you know, that easy peter out it's still active people go going to I.

Don't bother going high.

And the official 24 seven.

The slide potty Oh.

That's on.

That is very much on but obviously borders are closed we can't get everyone from around the country to get on the American emergency slide. We think this is possibly a good thing because it gives everybody extra months to strengthen your ankles.

We want to say a lot of holidays, ankle weights being used to strengthen them up because whilst two or three will snap on the day, we'd love to keep it single digits.

If it doesn't happen, this year will happen next year. Maybe even kick off the year with the slide party, emergency slide party on the 22. We'll get to go on the emergency slide in a plane.

One that I get a little bit of pepper cannons. They are on the way. The pepper cannons are coming.

Because these are a high powered application of pepper on a meal.

They seem to deliver an industrial quantity of.

Pepper at a pace and a power.

That you didn't even know you need.

But make you joyous.

Yeah, we're going to do wasn't it wasn't the add we're going to believe a lot of kids can't believe how happy that is.

Yeah. Yeah.

So we're going to try it and save our partners can sense a change in our.

Can't put their finger on it, but we seem to be walking around just on top of the world.

Mm hmm. And how many of.

You are going to couple? We had a we. I hired a guy from a and website or a like an antosca type thing called member Upwork Teo, Thailand. Writing comedy. Writing for us.

Yeah, yeah.

He shows me absolute fortunes. I let that peter out myself because I got to excite at the time. And I think I put up, like, $100 a script to write. Casual conversation between three friends. Yes. And then I realized it was a us.

Yeah.

And I was like, okay, no wonder he's emailing me all the time. I had that guy. Do you want some more? Like Teo? Couldn't believe it. I think I still got a script floating around. I got an old one floating around that that we didn't use at the time. Mm hmm. Have to dig around for it, but I'll. I'll have it waiting in the wings for us in the next couple of.

Weeks if we ever feel we're running dry in content, like.

Guys, you know, love doing the podcast, but just against a creative wall today. Here we go. Thankfully, Tango's got some casual conversation scripted for us. We don't even have to think about it. This was this was a big one. And you claim something in episode 122. Oh, Jack and I mistakenly heard something in a story about you playing Nothing Else Matters at school. At your U12 school by Metallica.

Oh, yes.

And and I and then we thought you were playing it on trumpet. But you were playing it on guitar. You're accompanying someone? That's right. Singing.

I was singing and playing it. I was singing and playing in addition guitar because I left it in the sun while a more proficient lead guitarist was doing the lead during it.

And it was his performance.

Well, now was kind of both of our performance, but I ruined it.

I didn't know you were singing it.

How old were you? 18. Just.

Yeah, I was eight. Six, eight, eight in six months. Yeah.

The growling. Oh, yeah, I'll.

Think of that. I can't remember the name of Metallica's lead singer, but he wouldn't know. No, that's the job. Hetfield. James Hetfield. James Hetfield. But yeah, I sounded nothing like.

No, I mean, you know, even. Even even at that age. Think the girl.

Ever. Have I ever. Have I ever sat of the line?

Yeah. Maybe thousands, thousands of dollars to get your voice up to that level. But you said this is the grab when we mistakenly thought it was you playing. Nothing else matters. But I think you said this.

You 12 concert got up to play. Nothing else matters. Five Delicate.

What do you make of my guitar? Right. Sorry, I just immediately thought.

Trumps you all. And I would have given it to, say.

17 year old Andy honking.

Yeah. Nothing else matters on the horn. I will. I think they'll the end of the for the end of the year played out the. Oh yeah.

Okay that isn't a Peter out band.

I want you to play the vocal line.

The vocal line? Yeah, I'll play those notes. Like a lot of nothing else matters of the trumpet.

At the moment. But of course all your stuff's in Melbourne, but if you got the travel.

Trump We have to bring up the travel trumpet. How did you bring that for you? Living by yourself? Because I'm bored. I've got one.

A treat for the neighbours. Oh.

Great. Got a guy playing the Macarena again. Oh, well, this.

Week nothing else matters. It starts preparation.

Oh, boy.

Have you two, have you hung out yet.

Haven't they put a pillow.

In it or something.

Like.

Full volume Kong.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess you got to do something.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, people do they blow their I'll never know. Like they got leaf blowers and power drills and all that stuff. This is nice.

That you wake up at 7:00 in the morning, go outside and blow the.

Driveway. Just on all fours.

Time we said we'd check back in with this. Of course. Our digital horses. Yeah. People who don't know they've built a new or metaverse or what they.

Call it, then they're going to metaverse. And essentially you own a digital horse.

Yeah, we.

Bought them in digital.

Money like bitcoin, yet.

Unique. That is your unique horse. We've, of course, got Thunder Castle. His view?

Yep. And you raised them in the hope to earn money from the races, but also be out to sell the horses. Anyway, let's jump into it now.

We love it.

It's great. I mean, I love that because, you know, it effectively shows that you take the old yeah, you turn it into one zero.

It's a joy to you.

Duffy Digital joy. How are you going?

Digital ADC now very keen, very excited to see. Whilst the a lot of the normal world has been locked down, the digital horse racing world has not been affected. The digital nags continue to.

Run a.

Race a minute.

Let's start with our main mare. See no show. Sure she's a me or not. She is our main mare. Thunder, the castle she'd been breeding for us. But she's back racing. How has she been going?

She's. She's not really been competitive in her class. So there's there's been a few big changes over the past three weeks. So I'm just putting her on ice for the now, keeping her in the breed bond right.

With her when.

When.

When and when.

You say she's not being competitive, is she winning too.

Easily? Is that the worry? Is that.

The worry?

She's she's competing on a second and third basis. But that's not what we're here for. We're here for the win. So I, I just want to look after her race record at the moment and manage that so that she keeps her value moving into the longevity of the game.

More like a boxer. Yeah, at the moment, towards the end of their career, it's like, Oh, we're not fighting anyone. Good. Yeah. Let's just make sure we pick out some extent stuff. Yeah, yeah. What?

How many races has she actually won?

She's only won the one race at the moment, but she's still got that 50% place. Right. So she's still, she's still our y positive. Um, but again we want those wins. That's where, that's where you can make a lot of money if you were to then sell her off or do anything else in the future with her.

Yeah. Okay. Well let's put us on the castle side now and let's just talk about our dipshits.

Dipshits and shepherds. Which are these all offspring of Sun Castle?

Yes, all offspring.

Yep. So we've got a bunch of them. Who've we got. Who else is in the stable now. They're, they're obviously of a lower class Simpsons guy.

Jack Post is known by Jack to put Tony and Earl Squirrels and all.

Of these whose of these four.

Horses.

That are the kids of of Thunder Castle who now that you know they kind of like a rowdy I think of them as like a rowdy bunch of teens. Yeah. Who's showing promise? Yeah.

Who is doing the best.

Let me ask you a question. Let me let me flip that. Who do you think, based off the show where these names that come from should be doing the best from those names for Tony? Yeah. Yeah. See, this is like, who do you think that should be doing the worst?

Well, probably with all due respect to Jack Price, they think it's The Simpsons guy that should be doing the worst. Yeah, but Jack Price would be a close second.

I love it because Simpsons Guy's number one Jack Post is looking pretty promising. At number two, it's completely smooth.

And these guys Jack feels immense pride. So what has Jack post one?

One we have we haven't had the breakthrough because there's been a lot of updates that have been happening, so we haven't been able to run them in the ground is as Hamish wanted right now, there's now been fatigue entered into it as well.

So the.

The.

Changes that have been really sort of.

That's interesting. Yeah. When we first pulled the horse like we were just laughing because it's sort of like, you know, fun the castle which she could have a baby and literally be running an hour later and possibly win a race. But now there's like so you can't say how long you have to wait. Now, after running a race.

Where you've got a 24 hour period that you can essentially resets the fatigue and each horse actually gets affected by fatigue and all these other things different. And also another layer to that is how your horse runs under different fatigue levels also comes into play as well. So there's a lot more training to go into it. But what it means is that these horses are maybe sitting on the fringe that aren't bad, they're not great, but

So because they might be running against a good horse that's tired.

That's right. That's exactly right.

Christian, thank you very much.

We will do that for Jack. He's going to have heavy fatigue. Oh.

Yeah. I mean.

I was surprised he rocked up to hear the races. But thank you, buddy. We'll check back in a few weeks time and say, are you still looking to to breed a couple more? I still buy a couple more shepherds.

So what I'm going to do is now our offspring are actually starting to come of age that we can actually start to grade them as well. So. Exactly.

Jack's activity. Yeah.

So we're going to start to sort of go down the generations and that's where it gets really exciting. So what I'm going to start to do with the stables is actually manage that as well in that we're starting to get a good income stream coming from putting the horses into stud and I'll even look to breed The Simpsons guy and to put Tony to. The little bit of inbreeding on the platform. So the census guy is

If you've seen Jack pose in the changerooms after a swim of people hiding out.

The.

Same jack.

In the sky and it's wonderful. Thanks. Christians makes a major light.

And you've been a resident of Sydney now for over a month.

Yeah, well.

Over up doing the 100 from Sydney and then captured by.

Her boarders.

Much like in Galaga.

Yeah.

You thought you would just hit two sheets and aliens and we wafted out the.

Blue rays.

And caught you. Now you and me, a double shoot.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, bubble buddies, bubble bodies, double shifts. Do you believe him?

And I suppose the things that bring out of us. Well, they're not be is because we're firing these into us.

Ways, long ways to plenty of it.

Some more than others. We might try and put that behind. Not the point of this. Appreciate you having me over to the house. Sometimes I've bubble buddy and that's the reasons to your toilet for having.

To.

Be subjected to.

Your average flows flow.

Yeah, but then also the death star.

Of floats of.

Just shards and porcelain flying around the bathroom. And it is a rental, so you'll be up for an absolute huge bond. That's why I always bring that.

Carbon fibre.

Toilet.

I always bring my pay shield. It's the right thing to do when you're visiting someone's house. If you have an escape.

Hijacker twist on this. Yeah. So it's a singles buddy about bubble, right? Yeah. And people going. People were texting me, damning me, going, you're not single, you know, let it a.

Couple of weeks ago.

It's not it's not the point, you know. It's not the point. Anyone living by themselves in Sydney is it. But not doing like a I can pronounce you Chuck and Larry thing with Hayman.

You know.

When I went over and he's like, just come in through the bedroom.

Like, I'll try and what.

Interesting insight after all these years to see the other side of how the flies must feel in the spider's.

Web.

Yeah, it's come straight through the bedroom. Oh.

I was.

Told we were having dinner.

First.

And perhaps I'll be treated to a meal.

If I perform well.

There is an easier to open door of a patio.

Doors can be tricky. Yes, yes, it's right here.

And he does this.

Through a spare bedroom that I'll not use it.

In my friends behind my head going.

So crazy we never really get.

A chance to talk at work.

Thanks so much for coming. Think there's a curfew, you know, led to go home? Oh, I didn't hear about the curfew. Oh, hey. Anyway, we're up and we're in Sydney that I moved to Sydney, you know, with my family in January. I've been here a little longer than you do in the lay of the land, but you're doing great.

Thanks, I think. Well, thanks.

Thanks.

He's I'm glad you hear that, because I want to reference something that I'm glad you've been here. I want to reference something that you might have seen or you might not have seen. But it's been on my mind for and I just sort of gave this one. I was like, I've got to bring it out. With A&;E, there is an ad on the side of a bus.

Okay, it's not a full.

It's for a great cause, one that be very close to your heart. One, it's for saving water.

Okay?

Yes, it's for, you know, I'm a thriftiness. Yep. And you know, we all agree no one's pro water wastage help the farmers. Bush fires climate change. We love it. They the the what they've gone for.

Though it's it's a it's a.

Cut down issue. How is.

That? Okay.

Jack, I'll see if we can I can accurately paint the picture. Yes, I know. We're in an audio medium. The guy.

It's actually a.

Chubby, redheaded, bearded guy, which is the law in all ads.

You must have a chubby.

Judy guy with a beard and a red head. Ideally the same guy.

Like.

That's. So it's just your standard ad guy with a shower cap on and and and then like, yeah, he's in the shower.

Okay.

And then the shower cap.

I have gone for common by over common man with like a portly fellow. Yeah, but.

I.

Know a guy from the 15th had a bit of a matronly.

Lady ways to protect her.

Curly hair. Yeah, so, you know, to get.

To the salon again. So anyway, he's got the shower cap on, but again, it's like that's the theme of the ad. It's a bit cut. It's a bit like pantomiming. Like, you know, I'm surprised he doesn't have a rubber duck in a scrubbing brush. You know, you really sell that. He's in the.

Shower and he I imagine he's kind of waist up in this show. Does he?

Yep. Kind of wipes out, maybe even, like, ribs up. Yeah.

That's why they included the shower. Okay. That's right. He would have been sitting there in.

The has gone. Just looks like he's doing it. Which pervert you put your shower cap on you know he's we know he freaks out.

Yeah we do when we think about it. We do know we can't see it but we.

Know we know that it's out for a reason. We mean it's.

It's it's a medical review and.

He's just out doing what we all do it. Yeah. And now he's got a shower cap on so he's innocent. Anyway, this stain blowing up around him. Right. And the slogan that they've come up with is Don't turn your shower into a sauna bulb. Right? So they kind of like this is the character that he's playing.

But that's not what you say.

That's the first error. That's temperature based. Yeah.

Okay.

Exactly. That's that's that's.

That's actually an ad for don't have too.

Hawkish, you know. Yeah.

Yeah. Which has nothing to do.

With water and. Exactly, exactly. So you're actually wrong. Like the whole.

Point of this is flawed from the get go. If it was, don't turn your shower into a bath. Right. Like don't have a big don't flood the house. Yeah. Okay. So already you're like.

Wrong, wrong.

You've completely deceased. In fact, if anything, this there's less water going down the drain when it stain because.

It will be actually.

Capturing more of the water in the house and it will condense and you could use a lighter so already wrong them then and this is the bit we just go this goes from an average ad to like okay these are the worst that there's a fireman coming in through the bathroom window behind him like like scowling at him.

Like.

Like. Oh, we thought there.

Was a fire in here.

Not yeah, yes, yeah. Steve lightbulbs there.

They steam and open bathroom window fireman climbing and then like.

Oh.

It's just you having a.

Long shower. Did you ever go to jail so you don't.

Understand the concept of temperature versus volume?

Yeah.

You're insulting the fire department.

That would deploy would. They would deploy to a steamy bathroom.

Thinking it's a house fire. These guys are trained professionals.

Trained training, a whole lot of trust.

They can't discern.

Smoke from steam, no water vapor, the smoke and the public over there, they just coming and going.

Might not you again it. How long was this one? 6 minutes.

Meanwhile, there's like a factory fire somewhere like that is.

That's a.

Shock. That's the with that. It's the worst that.

And an amazing special skill fell to my side of the email fence. And a man called Harrison has a skill. This is one of our favorite categories of skill is just something that you you encounter a lot but you never think about, ah, well, what if I was a superhuman in this field? Yeah, it's. I suppose it's like it's a nuisance that you deal with in daily life, talking about mandarins and their pips. The things I face a lot of Mandarin pip issues in my life have kids.

Keep it to kid things because you.

Enjoy peeling it yourself. Yeah, it's kind of like it's manageable. You're not allowed to have sugar, but it's sort of like it's kind of a hit, like eating vitamin sales or.

And it's a trainer.

You're like, That's not really sugar beet. It is better than.

Bitter, I suppose.

And it's like a beginning level of orange because it's easier to peel. Yeah, it's like practice amazing. You eventually upgrade to an art at some point.

Currently the kids favorite thing at the moment and I has to steal the mandarins, go and hide in our wardrobe and to sit under the like under those dresses of just eight mandarins. And there, you know, it's like dancing.

Yes.

That's that's a day.

She's at.

40.

That's pretty much the holidays. Just split up into bits that cheer.

Up 43 year old let's 40 minutes is going all over the world revenue mandarins.

And that's a very fun game at the moment though not loving it because she finds a lot of Mandarin pips.

And see clients however.

I have right and he went he skills about mandarins he can tell from the outside of the Mandarin he's gone I can tell many people are in there now we that blew our minds because we were like, I didn't realise this was a skill I'd love to have. The skill have to be taught this because quite often if you're hiding in the cupboard with your children eating mandarins, you think having a fun time, but then finding a pip can really derail the move? Yeah, especially if you're a four.

Year old.

Daughter of mine. Yeah. So that really, I'm like, what a wonderful ability if someone can. Because to the layperson like you or I, it it's a.

Can play lottery. Oh yeah. I don't have to be none.

I've be I'm after.

One to throw Mandarin just in fear of getting.

What I'm up to. A lot expecting them every topic exactly. Could be one Pippin in there could be one at one per segment. Sometimes I've had.

Two or three per.

Segment in the whole. Mandy Yeah. And I guess she never occurred to me to go right. What species of Mandarin was that? Because I've since learnt, because I have shopped for this segment, there are different.

Ha.

Different species, different types of Mandarin. Yeah. What I should be doing is keeping notes and just going you band if you're a high Pym species, you band anyway, that's Harrison's skill. He joins us now over Zoom. We've got to do this remotely, HARRISON How am I to unite boys?

And I hope you've been taking off the dogs. Andy No need.

So, Kate, just hopefully you just kept Mandy's in our mouth for this segment and much healthier addiction. Harrison, how long have you had this skill for?

Well, all previously worked at a greengrocer before. And as you know, ham, there are perks of working in retail. So instead of having, you know, the magnum ice creams behind the counter on video.

Thank you.

Mandarins. But in saying that there is a lot of different brands and different types of mandarins, so it is it is quite hard and I challenge everyone out there to give it a go, I say.

But I think just from a nutritional or a health star rating better much safer to eat three mandarins a shift than three Magnum Argos.

Yes we've.

Cardiovascular health pants popping we.

May have seen a thinner Blake.

Doing his.

Lifetime.

Driven up your pants because.

You eat too many mandarins probably.

Not because of course you know, like throw out a couple of Mandarin brands that.

As Harrison throws you eat.

Yeah. What do you got?

You know you got you got your Ben Diego you got the light, you got your tango. You know which ones the most lost touch. If you if you saw someone having a look, it would probably have to be expensive. Odd. The pocket mandarins can walk in a department.

Must be very nice cruiser you know, cruising down the street with two iPhones to it.

To pocket.

So our plan was to give him one wasn't it.

Well I've actually got, we got.

Yeah we've got three, I've selected three and I believe Harrison in your email you said as long as he could see the outside of the Mandarin, then you could guess this is your skill in a nutshell, or in a mandarin pale you can see the Mandarin and immediately say, How many pips are in it? Now, is this.

A foolproof skill? Yes, it is. I think in many considerations, such as looking at the food veto, which is the outside layer of the mandarin skin. Yeah. The size. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

You ask that. Wow. Okay. So do you know how many segments are in each mandarin.

And which mandarin do you.

Have? Well, he's okay and I've got three spaces in front of me. Should I pick the space?

Yeah.

The type of Mandarin. And because I kind of feel like that would be even more impressive for Harrison if he doesn't get a say in it. Yeah, and then we'll show it to you via Zoom. Harrison, did we have to tell you the type of Mandarin.

It would help just purely because we're on Zoom. If you tell me what type of name, I'm happy to do that because this already seems hard enough. Okay.

Okay, well, we've got the McCarten, the writing material, and the Dawkins the fan, so I don't have one of those. You went to find my normal game, which is by a nice common man, red imperial and a merkel.

Okay, okay.

All right. Okay. And before you say anything, let's. Let's play the opener.

Back. Seriousness is killing me and me.

I must confess. I want to see. I want to see what's.

In this many. So clear your mind, Harry.

This time. Baby one more time for the first time.

Yes, because we haven't seen you do it before. So for you, it's one more time. For us, it's the first time. Why don't we go? Ready, Imperial?

Okay. All right.

Andy is now showing Harrison the Red Imperial. He's rotating it slowly, almost like it's on a plinth at a car show.

It's got a prominent nipple at the top. Would you say it's one of those called prominent nipple? We can go with.

A raised.

Area.

Yeah.

Let's leave it there.

The other one is Mercantile, right?

And then the dimple is shallow. Yes. So I would say it's about five mil from the top side and the dimple is a shallow three mil. Okay.

What do you think in there? As you say, this writing pretty good experience with the red Imperials.

The green.

Grass that I worked that didn't sell red Imperials or.

Doing a switch back to the moon. I'm happy.

To caught.

On all. I'll take the chance. So with the Red Imperials do have different tastes in every brand. As I said, by looking at the four veto, the orange, you outside types of it.

Mm hmm.

Yep. I'm going to lock in a low number and go toe to toe.

The.

And he's bringing it to me now. And this is where we say we're only doing one Mandarin here.

Because we can keep on peeling mandarins. It's not interesting enough. Podcast.

You've got to understand, there's over a million podcasts available worldwide.

And for us, TV.

Feeling Mandarin is a decent use of people's time that they've chosen to give us their attention. I just think that would be the height of arrogance. One. One. Or do I can't make it right in the first segment? Nope.

Nope.

I'm X-raying the second segment up to light. No, Pip. There was a tiny little bit of.

How many segments here and there I am. Uh.

Oh, my God, there's only six.

Okay, so to that.

Right, four red imperial, only six segments.

Oh, I believe so.

Is that. No, pip.

No, pip.

Honestly, this seven seven.

No, no.

It isn't a red in pieces.

Number five.

I was checking because there's a thick segment double checking.

Spot on anything. So I'm doing.

Pip. No, pip.

Three to go. Three you need to get from three segments. No pip. Oh you need everything here on the mini segment.

Oh, oh no pip. You know Pip it's a900 so voice. I mean. Yeah, I mean, I.

Guess you have been stitched up. It's Mother Nature's played an elaborate prank on you both.

I mean, are there manufacturers that can make seedless or.

I don't know. Don't know. But but I tell you what, I'll be reaching for a rating period. Now, I've never thought about which species has the least beeps.

Do you want to see them go again?

Maybe. I want to see you try the Merkel bear.

I mean, we we say that it's not interesting.

But maybe it is.

Jacques thought. Well, you just you spend a minute saying that you wouldn't be so arrogant to ever do multiple mandarins in the same time.

You might calm down. Yeah.

We're going to go. I can get an and call it. I'm guessing the pips were on.

I mean, Jack, you're on the other side. You can't see it as well as we can. Is it engaging from an audio.

Book because it requires a.

Lot of imagination and credibility?

Right.

You've seen the Mandarin.

Before and you've.

Seen the segments.

This is just we make it okay. This is the Merkel. It was.

What are you trying to imagine so hard? What was the that was the biggest struggle for your imagination?

Describing a mandarin.

I'll tell you, the the part I struggle with most was the X-ray bit like you looking through one of the segments. I've never had an experience with that, so I.

Never held Mandarin up to the light to see if there's pips in it.

No, I just eat it and feel the pips with my mouth. Wow. Okay. He's the Merc caught Harrison. It's very round there. It seems like a dimple on both sides, even at the STEM side. So it's quite flat.

Much more classic, flat, shiny, waxy mandarin.

At risk of losing Jack. What are you going to look in? Oh, I think I'm going to walk in high. If it's a low state in court, it will be single digits around six. But I'm going to take the risk and and lock in 20.

4000 get on that. It's just all the way along with that. Even the silver.

We have it wrong though. We had zero for the first one. So I'm going to go on. You have to get it exactly right over a coin.

Well, in the first Jack, did you see all you can watch me now you have to use your imagination. Can you imagine a 39 year old man hollering up a segment of Mandarin.

To the light? Okay.

Let us know if you rams me.

I'm with you now.

It's way too powerful. The graphics card can't render this image of a man holding ups. And I got to tell you before.

Do they do the number as we get to two again?

Hang on. Three, three in the second one half time.

Oh, shit. One of those.

Ones you find in the.

Three eight. Three. Wow. 11.

This leads.

To more.

Than 13.

We're halfway through over 13. He's on travel on this jack to make sure it's fun to watch.

Ot 116.

316. Three. Nine, ten, 19. How many.

Segments left? Three to go. Zero. Oh, look at all three.

So, 22. That's what you wanted, wasn't it? Was the 23 to 24 with 24.

To. Jack, even if you've got any brain power, you believe all that I got? Believe what I'm imagining. That is unbelievable. Is unreal. Harrison, you're just stuff you want mucking around, boy. Yes.

You know, and you know, you mandarins, it's. You get yourself a coin and a coin.

And I coin, which.

Is one coin with.

108 coin on the back. We humorously.

Have equated.

It to a coin. Of course, we believe it's worth a bitcoin bet to receive a proper bitcoin for it. You would have to, as we always say, sell it on a secondary market and find an appropriate buyer, which is not us.

Very difficult to do.

Good luck.

That's in your hands. Now, the coin, the physical coin is coming to you. Gadget, you seem that's a unique coin number.

Well, that might finding these boys. I've got a direct message from a Haden on my Instagram. He obviously was worried about the security of high stakes and the emails coming in. It's nothing to do with you, but it has to do with another member of our group.

Also, he wanted to guarantee. Got to you.

Well, he just wanted to guarantee he didn't get to Jack.

Gotcha. I also I direct message from a girl called Victoria who said the same thing, not explicitly. She just said hey and gave me a Snapchat account, but I think she wants to talk to me privately about it is show issue. You better find she gets off the bait.

Jack. How are things going? Yeah.

I'm voting, Jack.

I'm good. You enjoying during the time here?

This feels like.

A big trapdoor being planted under my feet. But, yes, I'm enjoying my time here.

And don't mind us as we.

Install the trapdoor.

And make sure.

You.

Make sure the pond of piranhas is.

Well stocked under the trap door.

In a moment, Diego, just get you to go and stand on that cross.

Might just come.

And get you to have a nibble of this pie in a giant mouse.

Trap.

Sorry. My apologies. It was all.

Right. It's. It's a hobby for you.

Well documented hobby.

Yes. Yes. Okay. Well, you know.

You're I mean, obviously.

I have I mean, I've been I've gone on record and said this shows a hobby before. But I think where I last left, it was apologize for calling the show a hobby and said it wasn't a hobby. But what I liked about it and obviously it was it was kind of hurtful. We're all working out about stuff and you're calling it a hobby. But then the other part to it, the other side was like, but he must love it because you.

To feel like a hobby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's an enjoyable.

Way to.

Spend your time.

Exactly. You choose hobbies for enjoyment. Jack chose this. That's great. Yeah. Jack, you sometimes go on other people's podcast.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

That would be a drag, wouldn't it?

Yeah. I mean, but maybe just podcasting in general is a hobby of mine, so I don't mind going. You do. You're in the.

Mediums. Don't have the mediums here.

So obviously this is my number one podcast to come on, but I haven't been on others. You were on Dill and Friends podcast? Yeah. Recently. Mm hmm. And this is what came up. You go into something else, you have to leave. The first thing, you you're actually have to face the reality of what that would be. And it's tough to leave. And that's why I haven't left. I've still work on The Hangman Andy podcast. Even though we're not doing daily radio, I'm still tied down by it.

So I don't know. I'm so sorry that we got you to this desk, everyone, but.

We drag you into the basement, tie you up with.

Electrical cords.

Make you press the buttons than you would phone.

Books to go lie down and still.

Tied down by this. Yes.

It's like I mean, Jack, in terms of contact, I was we've got to it's got to be pretty low on the scale.

That was I'll be honest, that was a very long podcast. He talks to you for a long time. So it gives you a lot of rope to just keep talking and talking and you got to put a foot wrong and say something that you obviously don't mean.

No, that's not a police investigation you've got to try to get. That was the bit after.

That just going just tell just tell us tell us how little fun you're having on the podcast and we'll let you have some. Well.

You can get something. See.

I don't feel tied down for the let the record show. I feel free to go wherever I want and do what I please.

Sometimes you don't come to the meetings.

It's completely free. Thanks for listening to Hamish and Andy. Podcast will return next week, catch up or contribute. But Hamish and Andy don't call.

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