A listener production.
Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three two. Sorry. Still buffering. One.
Ahoy! Two. May. Ishaku. Hamish. Okay.
Tough one for Japanese.
Yeah.
You're in the ballpark. There's a there is a lot of words and things in Japanese culture.
I feel like we've been to Japan a few times. Were we samurais once and sumo wrestlers another time when we.
Type of swords one time.
Yep. Not today.
Okay.
This is something to give you a clue. This is something very dear to the show, you would say. It's got a very strong link to the show. Uh, Ahoy! Tamai! Kirei! Jack!
Ahoy!
And I am the seeker.
Which I hope means superior care. Which is one rank above Jack's.
So it's something in Japanese culture that we also do in the Hamish and Andy podcast culture. And we do it, you and I do.
Oh, is it going, is it going? Is it types of bowels.
The types of bowel.
And there are different types.
There are different types of bowel for the types of greeting.
That's a great one.
So the the Ishaku 15 degrees here is that bowel that's here. Even I can get past that.
That's on a normal day. I'm not even getting going on that.
That's a casual greeting.
Yep.
Just that one. Um, the kiri 30 degrees jack.
Yep. We're getting somewhere.
A little more formal. Used in greeting a superior at work.
Or with mine. One at 15 degrees. You wouldn't even be looking at the floor yet. You wouldn't even be able to see the ground.
No, but don't you just nodded your head. Then don't make that mistake. Still, it's from the pelvis. It still is a twist. 15 degrees.
I didn't know I was on show. Yeah, I wasn't that wasn't a performance secret.
45 degrees. The most formal bow.
They don't go lower than that.
They don't go. So we're guaranteed below 90 on our show.
I'm at 110. I reckon 110 degrees from vertical.
Yep. So they. They're not going anything. They're all acute. They're angles.
Remember I told you about the court bow that I learned about, which is just the head? Yes. So at government House, there's a government house. And when you meet the governor general, you are told to do a court bow, which I think people there was a few military people there and they were like, yep, no worries. We know what that is. I was like, guys, help us out. What is that? And it is just a bow of the head.
Just nod, nod, but bear the heads a nod.
Yeah, it's a it's a meaningful nod.
I also do Connor Donaldson from I think he's New Zealand, but living in Bristol in the UK. He went to come to tell us what he's been up to.
Tough break. Ahoy from Bristol, UK. Connor. Here. Have the day off today. Thanks to you guys. While I was working yesterday, I was listening to the podcast. I was sliding a large piece of plywood off of a pallet at about chest height. At the same time you guys were talking about the lady sniffing poo. I started laughing, I let go of the board and the edge fell onto my foot right behind the steel cap. Obviously it's currently bruised and swollen, but luckily not broken. By the
time this reaches you, I'm sure it'll be healed. Cheers for the day, fellas.
Well, I mean, I think that was in the Pre-conclave episode, wasn't it? We were talking about, um, Jack just 86 ING one of those, uh, just not letting that person through to the conclave. Yeah. Which was a good which was a good move.
Not the chosen one or the chosen number twos, as it would be.
Would have been. So that's remarkable speed to be able to upload that episode to now that.
Lightning.
Quick.
It's great. We've sorted out the website. They're coming in thick and fast.com home. We've got a special guest in the studio. Hasn't been for some time. Big orgs. How are you?
Orgs?
Hello, boys. I know you used to do the whistle when you came in.
Yeah, still got it in. You.
Know. Can you unlearn a whistle? Oh.
It's like watching Jordan try and dunk. I can't do it anymore. I'm getting too old for this.
Whoosh!
There you go. There it is. Jordan's like, come back, guys. I can do it.
I just have to warm up.
The reason why you're in is because a little while ago on the show, we had a guy called Christian who rang, who wrote in with $1 million idea, and he promised to tell us as long as we didn't steal it from him or tell the public we broke that promise.
We that was a I still do feel a bit bad about that. Hawk. Did you hear that episode at all? Hawgs? No. Fine. If you didn't. I almost think we start with this. Yeah. Jack and I heard the idea. Then we told Andy and Andy's like, ah, no worries in stealing that. His million dollar idea was essentially hairdresser at the airport. Right. And you can get a haircut while you wait for your plane. It was called haircuts. And you just, you know, it's a time saver that there's a barber at the airport.
And he'd done some maths and he was like, look, three hairdressers think he had him working round the clock 365 days a year. But the numbers looked good based on that maths. He was like everyone, everyone wants haircuts. A lot of people wrote in and said, hey, two, two camps. Really? They either said, I've seen this or um, or I did this. There were a few people saying, yeah, we tried to do this, and it didn't take.
Which you'd had before, and a number of your inventions. That's why I've got you in here. By the way, if people are new to the podcast, welcome by all means. But Haug's very famous on our show for having a lot of inventions over the ride. Some of them have been have gone on to be amazing and we laughed at them at the time, which was the what was the one that you think was the biggest?
It was need a.
Betterhelp.com.
That I you.
Which is just our airtasker now.
It's Airtasker. You did invent Airtasker.
Yeah. You also invented where the bet at one point where you could bet on the weather that now occurs. You can actually do that. The gym train we thought was a good one, where you could go to the gym on the train during your commute. That one hasn't been invented yet, but I.
Think you invented seated cycling at a desk.
Yeah. Yes. That was to power your lamp. The desk lamp, though, I think.
The work workout we called that.
That's right. Yeah. I mean, there's so many of these ideas, you know, you were an absolute ideas machine back then. You probably still are.
But the skin colored phone was one of my favorites.
Oh, that's right. So you could be on the phone. This is before hands free. You could be on the phone in your car and police wouldn't know.
Of all the ways to break that law, getting a phone that matched your flesh tone is one of the more interesting. Not even a cord. Not even a hands free cord that blends in. But just so you can really have a hand distracted.
We just think you have an eye for a great idea. So Hamish just told you Christian's idea about the ear cuts. So a hairdresser at the airport. As far as million dollar ideas go, what would you rank that between 1 and 10?
Well, if you want to call it a million, you need to earn millions, right? Like, you've you've just got one person cutting you. Like, how have you got a whole team there?
Yeah, I think that's the idea. You could potentially franchise, but.
I don't love it because you're not going like I need my guy. Yeah, you you everyone needs your guy. Unless you're. Unless you travel that much? Yeah. Maybe once every six weeks. Doubtful. I don't know. I don't love it.
So what are you giving it out of ten?
Why should we rate it between 0 and 1 million?
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Where does it land? Between 0 and 1 million.
I think about 450,000.
Let's do 4.5l.
No, I like this.
I like this.
It's going to be confused. So what we're going to do.
Is 450,000 out of a.
Million.
So what we're going to do, Hawgs is since then, people have written in going, that idea was terrible. I've got the million dollar idea now. Hamish and I discussed it. We're not going to invest anyone's ideas. That's for Shark Tank. We don't want to be on the show. You're welcome to. If you wanted to write.
God, this would be an amazing full circle, because our old segment was you listing your ideas and then people ringing up saying if they wanted to invest so that if we've if we can marry you as an investor now with some of these ideas, by all means go for it. But what we thought we'd do as a service is go. We're not we're probably not going to invest. I mean, we can barely get our act together to make a tall hat. So we're not we're trying to
break the record for world's tallest hat. Just because I know you're listening to the show. Yeah. Cool. Um, so we're not going to do that. But what we can do is at least give them some critical feedback from our favorite inventor and possible investor.
Just quickly, when you say, we're not going to do that, we are doing the tall hat. We're not going. We are going to invest. We're not going to invest. Sorry. So let's start with Heath. Heath Haug's is here. He's going to give you a rating. What's your million dollar idea?
Hey, guys. Uh, my idea is roll on Vegemite. So essentially, just a, like, a roll on deodorant, but Vegemite. Uh.
Hawkes has just looked at me and mouthed, I had that idea.
I think, did he do roll on butter? I think.
He did roll.
On butter.
Yeah. Yeah. You did roll on butter for the show back in the day.
Yeah.
Do you think a change to Vegemite increases the the idea or is better idea or.
Well. Oh, honey. I think it's even worse. Oh.
Honey. He's happy to go to honey. What are you. What are you giving that? What are you giving it a ten.
Oh. The problem with the million dollar. See the problem? It's Vegemite, so you're gonna have to sell it to Vegemite. Yes.
Yeah.
Is that your million dollar idea to sell it to them?
Yeah, definitely. Yep.
What are you thinking?
Oh, I think like a €150,000.
For using my scale. And he's trying to get the 1 to 10 scale going. I'm sticking to the 1 to 1 million. Um, okay. That is the tough thing because Vegemite.
Sounds better for.
Vegemite will own it. And also, if you go in and pitch it, even if you've got the tech, they can just go, yeah, we were thinking of that.
Yeah. Yeah.
See you later.
Uh, Heath, what do you feel about that? It's $150,000 idea.
Still good.
Money. Still good money.
Selling it a bit short there, I reckon.
Okay, well, good luck and let us know how you go. All right. We go from Heath to Jack. Hey, Jack.
Hey, boys. How are.
You? Yeah. Good. Do you have $1 million idea for Horgs? We haven't got to the million yet.
Oh, I do. So the problem is, you know, when you are eating dinner, it might be a wrap or a burrito or a soft taco, and you put it down on your plate and it all just unravels.
Yeah.
Mhm. Edible. Sticky tape.
Sticky tape.
Right?
Yeah. It'll solve all the problems. You can wrap it around, have a different flavors.
Is it. Is it tasty or like. Can you tell it's in your mouth?
No. Well, you will have a flavorless one, I reckon. And then maybe, you know, for burritos, you could have a salsa flavored one.
What's it made of?
Um, I was thinking maybe rice paper or something like that. Or, you know, those Listerine strips, whatever they use for that.
Yeah, they do get pretty sticky.
Okay, so you haven't.
Checked out.
The technology yourself.
This is this is one of those things where if the technology worked, you'd go all day long. The tricky part would be taping something to a burrito and having it stick the way we're hoping for it to stick. That could be the tough bit of the science.
Then you're going to get sticky hands. My, the concern is that every nearly a third of the inventions that I pitched to you guys back in the day, your feedback was to me. You can't. That's not an invention. You've you haven't come up with the technology. Yes.
So that's what you're giving him?
Yeah.
Yeah. Jack I mean.
It's good tech if. But that's the leap to make it sort of like going boots that can walk on the roof and you go, oh, okay, great. But how?
Yeah.
Well, you just you use science to stick to the roof.
Let's say it can work. I still don't see when I have my burrito wanting to spend the time, tape it up to tape it up.
No, but.
Maybe then it becomes.
Part of the burrito.
Like, I worry.
Taped to something.
I worry that we're going to get to a stage where a small. It's like wrapping a birthday present, a small piece of tape that you might use to wrap a birthday present won't be enough to hold the pressure of the burrito, and you will have to do a full lap of tape around the burrito. And I worry in that instance, is that going to be too much tape to eat? And it kind of gets stuck in your mouth. It doesn't dissolve the way we wanted.
Just one one full wrap around, I reckon. One lap.
The really tough part about this is you're going up against the geniuses at Old El Paso now. Every invention they come up with is to keep a burrito together. We've talked about it before on the show. They've got the bucket burrito, the boat burrito, the pockets, the pockets. Everything's made to reduce spillage. It's their number one enemy.
What about instead of a tape, a corn chip hook? That so, so so when you wrap and then like.
A fish hook.
Yeah. Like a fish hook. That that that that then clips onto the other side and you have two holes on the other side of your wrap.
Almost. So are you thinking like when you use a bandage, like in your first aid kit, that hook mechanism that keeps the bandage tight.
Yeah.
That's not bad. One of those.
Was.
Made of corn chip and rice paper made of a completely edible technology and very, very sharp when it hits the taco. But your mouth can't feel it.
No. Exactly. Um, what do you think for Jack Hawkes?
Oh, I don't like this at all.
Yeah.
I think it's a one.
A $1.
$1.
100.
100. Okay, back to my scale. Sorry, Jack. We've got time for one more. Luke. Ahoy to you, Luke. Um, do you think you've got a better idea than edible sticky tape?
Yes.
Great. 100%.
Okay. Thanks for joining us. Um, no. Far away. Far away. What have we got?
Right.
It's, um. You guys have. You guys have had cans of drink? So a cheeky beer before? Yes I presume.
Yeah, I yeah, I've had one, one of those.
So. And you've been to the pub, I presume. You know old mates. You've been there.
Yeah.
We've pub and other pubs.
Yes. So when you order, say a pot that comes with a handle, how nostalgic is that feeling? But you can't have it at home with a can, can you?
No. No.
Until now, we have created the can cradle, which is an aluminium strip that clips onto the side of your can with ease, and creates that feeling of being at the pub holding a handle at home.
I love it.
So it's a handle for a for a tinnie?
Yeah.
Do you prefer, would you prefer to use a handle while you ever can?
Um, yes. Maybe.
Well, I mean, I don't think I never holding a can going. I wish I do like, I.
Do like a handle of beer, but I think I like the glass element. Yeah. Drinking it like that too.
I don't think I remember how I had an invention. Well, we.
Tried to bring this up for you. The slab of pots. Yeah. And so, Hawks, I think this is it might not be better than Luke's, but. But the idea was, if you've just moved out of home and you haven't got your glassware yet, go to Carlton Draught or whoever and grab a slab of pots. And it was pot glasses with caps on it.
But yeah, it's a screwtop.
Beer in there.
And there was beer in.
A giant screw top.
And then you drink, you drink the pop and then keep all the glasses at home and you share house.
Yeah, I think they were concerned that it was gonna break, like in the slab. It could break more because obviously the stubby is more of a rounded craft glass.
We went we went down the track with it and tried to see whether they'd come in it, but nah, it didn't get through. Um, I.
Think the other point is that it's it's just better drinking out of a pot glass. So you're having more fun that as well. And later on, you get another glass.
Yes. But do you go back to Luke's idea?
We've just got this. Sounds like an idea that was nixed ten years ago.
What do you think about clipping a handle to a can?
I love it. I think that'd be great.
So what are you gonna. What are you giving Luke?
What are you. 900.
I feel like Ando did not see that coming.
No, I think it's great. I think we've confused, though.
I mean, Horgs does love a beer, so I think.
That's why I feel like.
We're.
Fooling people. They're going. Hang on a sec. I invented edible tape. I was barely Finally getting a hundred grand, if nothing else. Yep. I mean, amazing, eventually. Good luck. You're 900 grand. That'll give you heaps of confidence, you would think to take it to the world.
Yeah. Good luck. Luke. That's that's the the the. Well, you don't win anything today, but you've definitely won the vote of confidence from the show.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's all you need.
Yeah. Perfect. There you go. He's happy. Yep. He's walked away a winner. I like to think that we've imagined a future perfect future here. I mean, even if, let's say, all of these ideas get up and one day we may find ourselves at the airport, had a fresh haircut. We look across, we see someone eating a fully taped burrito whilst sipping on a beer at the airport, out of a handle on a cab. I mean, that's a beautiful future that you want to be part of, isn't it?
Mm. Absolutely.
Um, Luke. Thank you bud. Uh. Hey, guys. Thanks for coming in.
Thanks, guys.
G I'm looking forward to seeing if any of those go.
I won't invest in any.
So that's why that's, again, this is the Shark tank feeling where you realise Realize it's great to hear ideas, but, um, investing is a big leap.
Yeah.
I'm. It's fair to say I'm not going to say 50% of correspondents, but I'd say 20% of correspondents to Hamish at the moment is hat related inquiries for our quest to get the tallest hat, uh, and break the record.
In the world. What I love about our listeners, uh, is it's got this urgency about it that it's sort of like, um, it's the town project, and everyone's like, I've got. I need to tell the guy something like, I've got, I've got an angle here, and I've got just so you know, I. Have you thought about this? Have you thought about that? And we of course have our we've got our crack team designing the hats update.
For them to come.
I was going to say let's get an update from those guys because I feel a bit guilty actually being this far out of the process. But the We're on the other side of the. We're on the side. Like the thing we can take care of is how this is going to run when we actually have a crack at the world's tallest hat record.
And we were going to do that, we were going to reach out to Guinness. And we have made some inquiries. But look, Jack, there's a fair bit of palaver. And as a show we try and keep palaver to a palaver. Don't we.
Hate it? Bureaucracy.
Don't the Guinness World Records have a duty of like, if you say you're going for a world record, they should really come out and be there to look at it.
No, that would be if they're a government body, I suppose, and they're not the police where if they hear a crime happening, they have to go. They're not like the police, where if they hear something good happening, they must attend. There's a guy getting in a swimming pool of baked beans, hold the phone.
But deployed two of our agents there because we've got some records. The longest nose ring.
Do not get in that bath. We're wearing the most amount of women's suspenders until we are next to you and we count the suspenders.
But I thought for their own accuracy, they might want to always be sending people out because they don't want to put in print.
It turns out they are a for profit organization and not. And they should be. So they should be.
And they weren't selling the beer as a charity either. They're making money on the beer. I think they've always been up front ongoing. Hey, this is just the stuff we do. Be involved if you want. I think the trick they've pulled is by being. They've got us in this mindset where you proactively have to ask.
Them.
If you are going to do it.
Which again, you have to. There's application forms, there's a cost. It's quite significant.
You don't have to convince me. I hate all that stuff.
And they.
Said the C word to Jack hates that he hates the.
Cost and they operate out of the UK, which is tough for us as well with time difference.
Here's the thing to to to final. Just the final note on the palaver. It was because we know a lot of people obviously in radio and we've talked about this before that have gone for Guinness World Records. Then when you talk to the producers behind the scenes, that's when you get the real snapshot of the Pallava. They're like, oh, it was ten grand. It was 20 grand. We had to do this, really. Mate, it ain't a cheap certificate. But, uh, you know, those people have made the call that the
content's worth it. Now, when we look at the budget side of things, we go, well, are they the you know, if a if a nose ring is inserted in a nose and no one's there to see it, did it still happen? Yes it did. I mean, it's one of the great philosophical questions. If a record is broken and someone from the beer company wasn't there to measure it, but others were who were just as trustworthy, did it still happen? I say yes.
So do I.
Jack.
And I say yes to. And I say they should they?
Well, that's three guesses. I mean, two more okays and we've got a full house. You can't argue with that. It's almost an unbeatable hand.
So so we're just going to now play for the record. But we don't care if it's in the book or not.
We don't care about the book is what I'm saying. We could just just decide we don't care about the book because we'll know. We'll know the truth. And the reason we'll know is here's here's one idea I had. We thought, do we get, like, the people might remember, like Tattslotto or Powerball or whatever, where you have government officials? I think we get people's officials to be there on the day, trustworthy people, listeners of our show that will
authenticate it. And we'll all know the rules and we'll play by the same guidelines and more on that in a second that you have for the Guinness World Records. But we get, let's say, ten government officials, ten a lot. Five of the people's officials, five we've flown in or possibly selected for short drive from the arena. We have
them there and there's a form. We're going to put a form on our website now because we're looking for a specific type of person we need to know for a fact, and you have to provide evidence of times that you have paid attention, right? Because we need to pay attention.
People distracted?
Yeah. Examples of the of that, you know, distance because the hat I think one of the rules is it has to go for ten meters. So are you the kind of person that knows about distance? How do you know about it? Where did you last use that?
And when the hat has to go over to me, that's walking with a hat on. Yeah.
And with a hat over about 5.5m tall.
But they should know about vertical distance as well.
Exactly. Both horizontal and vertical.
Great question. We can quickly edit the form before it goes live.
Yes.
This is why we wanted to bring it up. So that'll be done. And people can register to be the officials.
Is that the only two things?
And evidence that you're trustworthy and trustworthiness.
So they don't have to work for the government in any way?
No.
No. Why would they? No, no. They're the people.
So you just kept saying government officials.
Well, that.
Was because that's because they gave away $22 million in Powerball. So that's why people feel comfortable having government officials. But I just think we go. Yeah. No offense, trustworthy people. Yeah. I think there's better examples you could give of trustworthiness, to be honest. So let's just get that you're trustworthy. You know about the two of the axes of distance. You know about vertical or horizontal. No requests for depth. We don't we won't need depth.
You won't be quizzed on depth.
You won't be quizzed on depth. It's A2D test. Um, I suppose you could argue it depends which end of the line you're at. If you decide to stand at the finish line, it will almost all be depth and there'll be no lateral movement. But again, we'll get you side on. We'll take care of side on. We'll take care of this with the seating. So don't worry about that. We'll take care of that. Make sure it's only two dimensions at max. We're asking you to measure and you know.
And can you pay attention? Once we've got that, then I think we can pick our representatives of the people. I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I just thought of an idea. Um, once we get this record right.
I love that thinking mentality.
Not if When.
We haven't done a t shirt for ages. Oh, yeah. Is there merch in it where it's simply a to scale up the side of the t shirt to scale replica of, like a stick figure with a 5.5m or six meter hat on, and it just simply says, like on the chest, like, I know because I was there or like, you know, I know because it happened. Yeah. Or like, I know because.
So it's a t shirt just for the five people who are coming.
No, no, no, for everyone that listens to the show because you'll have people going, yeah, but it's on the Guinness World Records. And we'll be like, yeah, but we had eyewitnesses. Yes, we had people there. And it was to the letter on that.
I love the fact that we're getting t shirts made up. We haven't even got the hats. Haven't even started on that.
Let's see if the hat team can also do t shirts, since they're in the since they might be at cloth stage yet. Hey, on that I got a very interesting email to my side of the fence from a listener in America that claims to, and I don't have any reason to doubt them. Wants to stay anonymous. Claims to know the current holder. I might have said lived in Melbourne, but it does turn out with a bit of digging. Does live in America?
Yeah, well, so do they know the rules?
They said, I know the guy, that it took him years of planning for this. The most recent guy to get this 5.5m hat record. Like, I know the guy that did it. And I've been listening with great interest to your show. This person's a fan of the podcast,
so this is friendly insider information. Said said you pretty much spot on with all your guidelines, except I'm pretty sure like this guy that got the record he thought of and had to cancel plans for any sort of chinstrap or structure to hold the hat up because we were thinking of a neck brace cravat, which I still think is actually legal, but for for the honor, we won't even use a neck brace covered in a cravat.
So no chin straps.
It just can't have any. Yeah. Can't have a fastener to the head. It just has to be something that, like, is placed on the head like a hat. And that's the other. You can have a.
Heart tightener like a bike helmet. You know how at the back they have possibly inside?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
As long as it. So that as long as it goes horizontal. Not vertical as far as the way the strap runs around.
Yeah. We just have to tighten it as a hat band would tighten around your head. But the other thing is he, he said one of the things that that cancelled a few of the early designs that this other guy was thinking of, and we've mentioned a bit to about just getting a stick that comes off a helmet kind of thing, a big spire. Is it the hat design?
Apparently the word from Guinness was because I think he's this guy's was a Santa hat has to be an existing hat, so you can't create a shape that just happens to it can't just be a structure that goes 5.5m up off your head. It has to be not existing because there are no Santa.
No, but.
You know what I mean.
Style of.
Style of hat that you would instantly go, that's a Santa hat.
That's been elongated to reach the height requirements, which I think is good too, because we want to win honorably. We're not trying to win through a loophole.
Well, we I think we were talking about a top hat, weren't we?
Well, we've always been talking about a top hat. I think that's.
Completely.
Which I think is more honorable than a Santa hat. Santa hat is actually a pretty good idea because you just need like, a big stick up the middle and then it hangs over like a tent.
Leave the design to the design team. Yeah, yeah.
You're overstepping. Jack. Stick to the t shirt, mate, because I don't think we've nailed that design yet. And, oh, the upset Andys. Boy, oh, boy, I can't stop him. I try. You hear me? Hear me? Every week on this show. Going. Stop sending him, guys. He's had enough.
Occasionally. Have a pre-show meeting and you go to Carly, who runs it for us. Yeah, there's heaps of upset. You got to get them in. So I don't think that's you trying to stop it at all?
I'm hoping that by flushing them out.
Yeah. Get them out of the system.
We'll get to the end. Everything is neat and practical, cause that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't? Upset, Andy. Noah, you've got something to upset our sweet boy here.
I do, I do. G'day, boys. Gusto to you all.
Oh, Ahoy to you, Noah.
And gusto to you, sir.
Thank you, thank you. Yeah.
So, um, when I say contacts into my phone.
Get a lot of work, phone calls.
And the like, I generally just chuck in the first name of the person, because I don't always know the last name.
And so, uh, at the moment, I've got about six different.
Richards.
In my phone when I need to. When I need to call one, I just pick one at random and hope for the best.
I mean, I appreciate the sport of it, but yeah, that's red hot for me. And you know how much detail is in my contact list, its first name, followed by second name, followed by where I met you or your associated business. Beck doesn't love the fact that she's still in my phone as Rebecca Harding patch waitress. But that's the cafe. I met her in a cafe.
She hasn't pulled a shift at for well over a year. Some might say ten. Um. And I've got. I realized the other day I've got in my phone like a mate of mine, AJ, who I call a lot, and then another person I know called AJ, but but I've just changed them to AJ. Rarely this one. So I know the other one is the AJ. Yeah, it's a system. It's a great system.
Now you've upset me. It's nine out of ten.
Jack. Um, Ahoy to you and gusto to you. What have you got to upset, Andy?
Um, well, our house doesn't have a bath plug. So the bath was out of action for a long time until we found nature's bath plug, which is half a lemon. So you cut half a lemon and just stuff it in the hole, and then. Yeah, off you go.
Surely.
Take that in your mouth.
Slowly. It's. I mean, they're not.
You get about 40 minutes.
Okay.
Do you put it flat side down and it suctions it on or do you put it lump jam the lump side in?
No, no.
Flat side. Flat side down. So it sucks it in and then. Yeah. I don't.
Hate it. I mean, I hate it, but I don't hate it because the ingenuity and the choice of plug, I think is a good one.
It's a great it's a it's a good it's like a good bit of bush mechanic work. But you what I love about it and I'm like you here, Jack. You go. Damn. We don't have a plug. Well, there's nothing we can do about that. Like, even if it takes months. No no no no. And you'll often get an Andy in the periphery going. Go and buy one. Like we're not. We're not spending half a day just to get a plug.
Like, literally almost like $1.50.
If.
We remember it. Next time we're at Bunnings, we'll do it. But that's unlikely. There's nothing we can do about this. We'll never have a plug again. We must find a way.
Yeah, we've got a bath plug tree at the back. So you just grab it from the tree and cut it in half, and off you go.
To bath plugs box that I have in the laundry.
When life gives you two bath plugs stuck together, it's up to you what you make of it.
Thank you. Jack. Angus, Ahoy to you.
Oh, gusto.
To all, including the little boy.
Ahoy!
Uh, beautiful. Angus, what have you got?
Uh, so, for home use, instead of buying a fancy reusable razor like you've probably got andoh must be nice. I just get the disposable travel packs as they're far better value for money. And you don't have any pressures about maintaining the blade or anything. So after each shave, I just chuck the razor back in my bathroom drawer. So now when I go to shave, I have around 15 to choose from. And if that razor doesn't work, I'll just keep swapping them out until I get the job done.
Yep. And the good thing about a.
Bad shave.
Though.
They're like, they're often single blade.
Yeah.
And you'd be surprised how much gusto these shavers have in them.
No, I.
Didn't.
At least at least ten goes.
Nah, mate, I want to see Angus. I want to see you do a big ad. And that be the slogan. You would be surprised at how much gusto they have in them.
At least ten. Yeah, at least ten guys. But, like, I even went overseas last month and it was great for that too. So I just ran the same system, by the way, for ten days. And I just grabbed like a stash of ten, put it in my toiletries bag and just the way I went.
Why would you waste the room in the toiletries bag as well? I mean, Bex got her, Bex got her. We know a lot about Shavers in my house because Bex got her shaver brand. Louis, Louis. She would be so upset with your Louis ritual. Your or your ritual, so to speak.
The thing about the thing I love about chucking a blunt one back in is.
You can't.
Just seeing if it comes back into form like we're not, you're not completely fired, but have a bit of time on the bench and just sharpen. You literally sharpen up and I'll put you back in the rotation. I mean, back when.
I.
Put around, I put around ten in the sink and I put it under hot water. And then I think, I think that helps, you know, I think it does.
Help as well.
Do you think it helps?
I think I think hot water helps sharpen them up.
Not sharpen them up. But just it feels like.
Well, like when you back in the old days, like in the, you know, prohibition era when you would get a hot shave. Wasn't that because they, like.
They heat the blade?
Well, I think it's something like that, isn't it?
Like I thought I thought it was about heating your face, and then something about, like, the pores are more open.
Maybe that softens the blade. But yeah, if you attack it with a hot blade, I think we're thinking of hot knives and butter. And you just go should follow. Or when you heat the spoon up for ice cream to get it out of the tub. Like, should be the same maths. All right. Beautiful. Thanks.
Thanks.
Tess.
Tess. Ahoy to you, Tess.
Ahoy, boys. In number six. Happy birthday. Andoh.
No need.
Lovely.
Um, so when I feed my dog, instead of scooping the kibble into a bowl, I simply just scoop it straight across the floor. Um, and the dog licks up the or eats all the food off the floor. And he loves it. And it's so efficient because I don't have to wash any bowls and I don't have to mop the floor. It comes up sparkling clean every day.
You have to mop the floor like dogs. Do you know what dogs lick.
When they're out in the wild?
Soap.
Soap.
Pour it in a park.
They find. They find those trees that you can cross the leaves off and make soap.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
No, but are we talking dry food?
Yeah. Dry food.
Dry food.
Yeah. It's kibble.
And it's just.
In one, you know, one section of the of the house. It's his area, but he licks it, licks it all up, and it's so it's the cleanest part of the house, I swear.
Andy, you were missing the key bit of information here. He loves it.
Okay. No, I mean, I can't totally be repulsed at this because every time we leave the house, Bec feels sorry for Henry. So she scatters kibble on the ground and she runs around and eats it. So Beck doesn't can slip out without the dog noticing because.
She also she's distracted.
Distracted. So Beck is doing kind of what you're talking about, and I don't.
Is that to give Henry a fun game to eat the kibble, or is it so she doesn't see the door close? Okay.
Okay, I.
Understand.
Um, Jess. Thank you. Wrap this up for us. Bella. Ahoy to you.
Ahoy, boys. Gusto to you, my king.
And gusto to you, our queen. Yes.
Thank you. Um, so a little bit of a precursor is I don't have poor time management. I'm just fast and loose. And I also have one of those really fancy fridges with the automatic water dispensers, obviously.
Wow. Yeah. No, that's a real. Must be nice.
Yeah, exactly, exactly. So I'm rolling out of bed, like 15 minutes before I need to leave for work. So I'm getting ready upstairs doing my hair makeup upstairs trot downstairs. By that time I'm really parched. So I, you know, roll over to my fridge, don't grab a cup because that would just be wasting too much time when I'm already time poor in the morning. So I tilt the pelvis forward in front of the fridge, do a really,
really deep lunge. My chin lines up perfectly with the button for the water dispenser and it just pumps straight into my mouth. Perfect.
So you don't even have to use your hand.
No hands.
That's right.
Can you can you please send us a video of that? I that does not upset me.
That is going going to work with rested hands like that.
I don't have.
Energy. And it's the energy of, you know, lifting my hand up, opening the door, getting the cup out like I don't.
Have.
Much.
Hand. Morning. Exactly, exactly.
And only what what do you do for a job? What do you work as?
I'm a social worker, so I need I need all my my heart power, my brain power, my hand power to be rested for the day.
And also to when you're opening doors and things like that. People must come in all the time on your grip strength and how well rested your arms are on your forearms.
It makes or breaks the day.
Yep.
The only bad thing is because I'm ready for the day. Upstairs I have my makeup on so there is a permanent foundation and lipstick mark on my fridge, but I'm just going to do it again the next day so it doesn't really matter. And the makeup that's already on the fridge kind of replaces the makeup I lose from putting my chin there. So it's like a two for one reapplication.
Surprisingly, that's the only bit that upsets me. The mark on the fridge. Yeah, I'd be swinging around to clean that up, but Bella, thanks. Send us it in. Really good.
And oh, you had the great fortune of being in New York last weekend, am I correct?
A quick.
Dash, just a.
Quick.
Dash rostered on at the.
Pub.
You had to go and.
You.
Were late for your shift.
You were just.
Such a bummer. Yeah. So. But again, um, you know.
Wasn't even rostered on someone called sick manager called and said, hey, can you fill in for the shift? Yeah. No problem.
It's in under 30 hours. Over 30 hours. I'll be there, boss. Yeah. And, um, and don't worry. And even though you did get delayed and you didn't get a chance to fill in the Ticket and supporting documentation will be neatly presented to the tax office. Absolutely to show needed to be there. But I must say I looked on with great joy and not even envy. Anders, you were at the pub that we have a small interest in in New York City over the weekend.
Old mates? Yep.
Old mates if you happen to be in town. We do like to do a long, very long shot plug in case anyone happens to be in town. Um, in New York.
Uh, loyalty card is accepted.
It is, it is. And, um. God, we're bloody proud of that. One thing I will, um, I will say is, I think and again, I'm not saying that, you know, one day when you're a, when you're a father, you might still travel with such reckless abandon as you do and go to New York for a small handful of days. But I think, Jack, if you didn't know us and and I was to say this was my weekend versus this was Andy's weekend, I think based off the one sentence of going, and he was in New York City
to pub and hanging out with Hugh Jackman. And I was at a cat show on Sunday morning to see the 1030 kittens judging.
I would know which one is apparent.
You would go, who has a seven year old daughter? You would know. You would get a feel. You would just get a feel from that. Um, so yeah, I was at the Cat Lovers Association. I think it was called or Cat Lovers Forever cat show at the Sydney Convention Center.
So what was the cat show where they were people bringing in their own cats to show, or were they already pre vetted cats that with more show experience.
Your two cats aren't show cats are they?
Could be.
Didn't.
Didn't put them on the bench.
If you.
Didn't put.
Them on Zoe's pillow.
He's got over that now. And that is a unique trick. Um no didn't didn't couldn't take our potato and Jimmy, he wouldn't. I don't think they'd go well at a cat show just because there's a lot of other cats around. I'm as surprised as you guys are that we were going so bought the tickets for this because she follows a funny cat show. And this American guy on Instagram, right? I think his name is Steven. He's like known on Instagram for like doing like they bring the cat up
and they're like, oh yeah, look at this guy. He's look at that beautiful long body. And we're looking this breed we're looking for like, wow, nice strong shoulders. And the kids find it funny.
From this content on my algorithm.
So I can't.
Stress enough how much it's not golf swings or gadgets. So it's not on my algorithm either. Kids love it. So zoo goes a couple of weeks ago she goes, guess what guys? You know the funny guy we see on Instagram? He's coming to Sydney and I bought his tickets to the cat show.
There's one thing to enjoy a 15 second video though.
I said, why did we? So why did you do that? And she goes, it's funny. I said, yeah, but now we have to do the joke. We have to live the joke. So I'm like, you know what? Whatever. Let's let's go and see the. And look, there's some great cats there. As I was sort of looking around though for other people because I love our cats, but it's but I don't love all cats. I was really into it. And this is great. She loves our cats and and that's that's great. How's this for a bombshell, though? Like,
she was really into it when we got. And I was getting a lot of. Hurry up, hurry up. He's on at 1030 like, you know. And I said, mate, it's like 9:45. We're gonna make it. And then I was like, well, there's parking and if there's a queue or whatever, great news. When we got there. Not a huge queue like the convention center. The convention center holds like 10,000 people. And again, it was a great show, well attended, but I would say low 300 was attendance.
So there was a lot of space for us to all to enjoy the cats and products on show that morning.
But on.
Cats like.
Traditionally hard to herd like the whole.
Like, yeah, you have to hold them. And I think a few of them are on, um, just like a gummy. Yeah. Just to relax a little bit. So and look again a couple of great cats.
So did they do anything like dogs do. Do they walk around in circles and.
No. It's just to show off how well that breed meets the criteria for that breed, I suppose. Oh, mate, don't scrunch your.
Nose.
Because that's no different to a dog show. Don't get to. I could easily.
See I'm not going to a dog show either, but at.
Least easily see Beck making any go to a dog show. No worries at all. Best in show is in Andy's future. Singing a duet about tall terriers is 100% in Andy's future.
Sadly, you might be right.
Well, how's this? So you'll get ready for this when you know, a few years down the track with Beck, Zo turns to me and not, as a joke goes, you know, just letting you know this. And by the way, this is like we're in our early 40s, but this is where you have those bolts, where you're like, wow, we're really going to be married forever. Because and you just realize that because I think when people get married, you know, 30, 40, you know, it's forever. But you also.
You just think.
All the time you're so young and it's just you just think life will be pretty much like this. So just letting you know in the future I might breed cats. Oh my God, am I went, oh man, that is. You can't just say that casually at a cat show. And then I start looking around. And a lot of the displays are husband and wife teams. And I did feel like the husband was the second invite to the like the second person into the fact.
Not as passionate, maybe.
And I might be really projecting my fears here, but I was like, I am going to be I'm going to be a cat caddy, like I'm going to be just. And but I was like, so you. And she's like, well, that's I'm just letting you know my future that I could see that happening. It's so cute. Wouldn't it be amazing to have, like, all these little cats?
Would you say to that?
I panicked, I was thinking I was panicking because in my head I was like, you can't just drop this on someone. That's a huge life change. That's not what I got into this for. But then, and you could make the same argument, I thought. To thought. To be fair though, with golf, like, she could be like, well, I never saw golf coming. And now you're into golf.
And you're way five hours at a time. And yeah.
But again, that's off site. That is.
Off.
Site. I'm not chipping golf balls around the house and like, making the clubs get in bed with us.
Yeah, but that's not true because you sent me a video last week of you using a swing aid. And it's a golf club you can use inside half the length. And he let it go out of his hand, and he smashed her family portrait.
Can I see.
This.
Video?
No, I'll show it to you. But I just said Jack, because I was going to give Jack the same swing, and it'd just be really careful of these things. They've got slippery, slippery handles. That's true. And if I catch those swinging the cats around in the good room, I'll. I'll be as angry as she was over the portrait.
Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at Hamish and Andy Comm.
