2024 Ep 246 - The Worst Keep It Or Delete It EVER!?

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Ahoy to me! Waning gibbous.

Hamish, I think I know what I am. Would Jack be a waxing gibbous? He's a.

Waxing crescent.

Crescent? Yeah. We're moon's. We're in the sky. We're moon's baby. We're moon's phases of the moon.

Yes. Did you know that? I did know a waxing and waning and I'm.

Did you know.

Gibbous?

I assumed that gibbous was the second half of the waxing and waning.

Because I didn't quite know. Gibbous, I suppose because it's a different word for the other one.

So. Crescent, obviously you have a smaller. The a smaller portion of the moon is lit up. Um, and then the gibbous is when the bigger side of the moon is.

That's the gibbous. But it's on its it's on its way.

Yeah, but it's on some more. Yes.

Come on, baby, fill up.

And waxing is when the moon shape is growing in size. Yeah.

Waning, shrinking. Yeah. A lot of good moons. Moon chat. Ah, thank you to Mike.

And take the rest of the week off, Mike.

Well, that must be exhausted.

That's a big one.

That's obviously come with a page with lots of descriptions.

Ahoy! Also to, uh, Courtney from Emerald, who used the very easy to use system. Com to upload this bit of audio.

Hi, Hamish and Andy and big boy Jack, it's Courtney here from Emerald. I was just vacuuming the floor and I very quickly filled up the vacuum canister with dust. My husband, Chris, then asked me if I wanted to empty the vacuum canister, to which I gave him my now stock standard response, which is that's a Chris job. That's a Chris job. So thanks for that one, Andy.

And it would have annoyed you a bit too, Andy, that she kept the vacuum cleaner going there to record the audio. I did. I did see her purse of the lips as Andy. talked a little bit of I had a bit of Atmos. Atmos?

That's nice. I just felt sorry for Chris because we've all been there. I've always have to, um, empty the vacuum cleaner. That's strictly in my job. For some reason, I.

I'm just always of the feeling. And you'd be in this camp to Jack. I reckon that it's always just got one more trip in it.

Oh, my God, how's the last time I took one out? It was so full. It's like touching a water balloon.

I'm like, ours is so dense because I'm always thinking to myself, well, if you can suck air through, dust ain't that much bigger. So we got a little bit more space in there. Like it's almost a briquette. We probably should probably should keep ours to build, like a small igloo out of them or something. It'd be very dense.

Material, losing the overall sucking functionality with too much in there. I mean, it can't, it can't probably.

But I find if you run it back and forth over the cheerio enough, eventually it'll hit a good patch of wind and and it will hoist that heavy piece of cereal up the neck. Hey, um, um, speaking of, um, our partners guys, I wanted to start today with what I hope is just a little safe space for the lads here and not, you know, I know it's a public forum, but the reason I wanted to designate this, um, the start of the show was, I think, in my relationship.

All right, let's hear it.

All right. Well, I've got I've got a I've got something I want to start with.

I've got one as well, actually.

Yeah. Great. Have you got one, Jay?

I got one that I, you wouldn't even call it a joke anymore, but I use it almost daily. Okay.

This like my question to you guys is tell me if this is funny and, you know, brackets hint it is. So I don't know I don't know I don't know why Zo isn't laughing at this Little couple of weekends ago, I went on a on a road trip like a little boys weekend away. Now, there was four of us. Two of the members were my old housemates, Haider and John, who I lived with for ten years. Right. So I will, I understand perhaps those resistance to be like, okay, that's

And she and she admitted. And you've admitted that she then took pig management to a new level for about ten years to see the man we have now.

Sharpen him up, trimmed him back, stopped him wearing t shirts with logos on them, stuff like that. Said, hey, we can lose the Spanish motorbike companies that don't exist. You don't need to wear those t shirts anymore, things like that. So yeah, over time, sculpted him, gentrified him into the into the pleasant shopping mall that he is now. But he was once a wilder suburb. And this is

Even at the.

Bar. Even at the pub.

It that's a ten out of ten for me. Yeah.

I mean, that's what I thought. I'm like, am I going crazy here? This is a great joke.

Well now now this is a safe space I'm going to bring up mine that I keep doing to Beck. Who? And I've actually been banned from doing it, which I think is unfair because I think it's a funny joke. But whenever I'm in public and it's very rare. But we catch paparazzi there. Oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I get down on one knee and pretend to propose.

Okay.

Most recently, the baggage claim at Melbourne Airport.

Okay.

No, I can't see why Becker would.

But it's nice to be here with you guys appreciating the joke that that would be a hell of a scoop after ten years of dating, especially. Decided to do it right on the baggage claim.

And the joke there is not really on Bec. It's on the paparazzi because the second they think.

Yes, you're right, Jack, it's on the high, it's on the insatiable media, it's on the clickbait industry. Exactly.

That's why I try to explain.

I don't you see.

Honey, I'm making a political statement about the state of our not.

Smiling at that.

No.

Coalition starved clickbait economy that people are being sucked into. Yes, I'm a performance artist.

Jack. Do you have one?

Now, now, the thing I thought of when you started this. It's not even really a joke by the standards of what you guys are bringing to the table. I mean, Andy's is.

I don't even steaks, I'll.

Tell you that.

I don't even want to say what mine is. But the thing I do almost daily that never gets a laugh from Bianca, but I still do. It is when she asked me to do some sort of chore around the house, like, can you take the bin out or can you do the dishes? Let's do.

It. By the way, just do it for once without being asked.

In your life. That would be hilarious.

If she asked me to do a household chore. I'll say, But I'm just a little boy.

And now I wish I hadn't told you.

Now I wish, I actually.

I wish has.

It ever worked?

And it's never worked.

You've had the best one.

Okay, you know what you need to do, Jack? You gotta like, you need to wait for the next time she tells you, like, do this. And you as she's leaving the house. Right. So this could take a while, but you need to get, you know, the tiny hands. Like, I bought a pair the other week. They've got them at the post office, you know, with like, the you can put them on one finger and it's a tiny pair of hands, like.

People on the top of pens sometimes.

Doll hands. Yeah, yeah, they're like little doll hands. People. Kind of. There's a thing on Instagram I've seen where you can massage cats faces with them. So it looks like the cat's getting at like a or it's a giant cat getting a massage. Just wait till she leaves and then film some videos of your like, little tiny hands trying to take out the things would be like, see, I can't do it. I am a tiny boy.

I'm. There's a lot of reasons to listen to this show, but I'd say the main one is to get the upper hand on everybody socially. Uh, or in the workplace, uh, professionally.

It used to be that you could buy two very good books for that reason, the Power Moves books. Do we still have any power moves? Volume two taking advantage of a madman. Books left or did they sell out over Christmas?

I know we've got plenty. We've got more.

Don't tell me the madman ordered another shipping container full? No. So it's still available. So still, if you prefer the book form, obviously. Yes, certainly. Volume two remains available.

Com, um, due to Horgs.

Ordering slightly more books than there are people in Australia. Um, but but now that we've sorted that out. Yes, this is the only place the podcast remains. The only place you can get the fresh stuff. Mhm. Um, the books are more like, you know, uh, when you dry garlics and chilies and you can still sell them. Yeah. Still delicious. They absolutely have a place in the home. But this is the fresh stuff. This is the market where you

I know.

I know, we need sales. Is the panic still delicious? Better. Some would say more. More aged in the, uh.

Sounded a little desperate, didn't it?

Still delicious. Um, and this comes in from Joe. Um, Joe is a lifesaver. Sorry, a lifeguard. Okay. Which would become apparent in a sec, because if you're a lifeguard at a pool. Brackets different to a lifesaver. It seems very keen to tell everyone why.

Why is that a different?

I think it's a lower qualification alive.

Life saver.

Let me put it to you this way. I think a lifeguard and I'm just making this up. But the the difference between the word guard and save is like, I would take it that a lifeguard is like, oh, don't go in there once you do. I tried I tried to guard it. I tried to guard the ball. The saver can get in and do some saving stuff afterwards.

But isn't he being particular about life guard? Yeah.

So he's he's saying he's he's like not like I'm not alive.

I'm not he's being humble.

He's being humble. Yeah. He's unusual. And that's.

This show. And for.

Me, I.

Didn't even understand the concept.

I had.

I unfortunately wrote back to him, said I can't read the rest of your email. No, you don't really suit the tone of the show, he's saying. So he works at a pool and he goes, are we gonna pull? It's got signs indicating the speeds of the lane e.g. fast lane, medium lane, slow lane when people are doing laps, he said. When a swimmer is getting ready to go into the fast lane, putting on their goggles, etc., I walk over and switch the fast sign to a slow sign. Then I give them a bit of a thumbs up.

Lock it. This comes in from Declan Bremner. Power move. Anytime a friend, coworker or stranger tells you a story about themselves, reply with. That tells me a lot about the type of person you are. Yeah.

Good.

I love a wildcard. I love a wildcard one. This could be another wildcard one. This is from Tyler. Um, when you're out with friends, wait for someone to excuse themselves to go to the bathroom, stop them and say, wait, are you mad at me? They'll usually respond confused and say, no. Why? At this point say loudly so everyone can hear. I've just noticed you tend to poo a lot more when you're angry. Now if you could.

Pick it off.

Didn't need.

Didn't need, you.

Could pull it off seamlessly. I take my hat.

Off to you happily.

Gus. Bev from the US. Sorry. I take.

It back. That is not a wild card. Can't do that.

Can't do that.

Um, interview based power move. Have you been interviewed by a panel? Um, when finishing up an interview with a panel, conclude the meeting by saying. Nice meeting, most of you.

Yeah. Good.

It'll confuse the paddle and they'll wonder which one of them's the bad egg of the bunch. You probably won't get the job, but. But it will be burned into their memory forever.

I back, it's smart play. You look at any any show like a survivor, right? If there's like a five against one situation alliance. What is. What's the one shot the one person has? Create some discord.

Yes you can.

You don't know how, But if.

You.

Just create some.

Discord, you.

Could be a chance. Mhm. Um. And this comes in from America. US power move from Lucas because uh, Hoiberg is in number six. My wife loves this power move. And I know you guys would too. Whenever someone posts some unfortunate news or perhaps some sad news on their social media, um, reply with your I mean, this is ballsy, but reply with your condolences, but always mention a cool slash exotic location. Your sincere condolences from example. Thinking of

On. Where are you on that?

Yeah, we're getting very close.

Who's we?

How close are just being the public? Um, who are helping give me leads? We're down to the top. Three guys or girls at Mars. What? What do you mean? You're, like narrowing it down to.

To locate. Need to be. Doesn't need to.

Be narrowed down. You already picked number one. The CEO, whoever he or she may be. Yeah, and that.

Wouldn't be a secret, would it? What I was trying to say is like, we've got three names of who the key CEO might be.

It's not.

A sign.

Probably just.

Sorry. The challenge. The challenge wasn't to find out the CEO. The challenge was to talk to them. Yeah.

No, I think I think, um, we probably don't need that. Oh, great.

No, sorry.

Wouldn't it be hilarious to see Jack in a real work environment?

I think that sometimes you.

Yeah, it'd be incredible. What would.

What would be? What would you fear the most, Jack?

Like going into any meeting where you had to, like, have done your homework and done preparation and present your findings and working out just anything.

This is a weird. This is a weird tangent, but at any stage, were you ever going to be a sports teacher?

No no no no. Why?

I just I don't know, I just get sometimes I get sports teacher vibes. I think because at my kids school there are two sports teachers who were not dissimilar to you. Yeah. And sometimes I look at them and I go, I could have been Jack. Could have been Jack just carrying a giant sack of balls from the shed to the bus, a little bit like, you know, aware that it's it's like 9:00, the.

Training.

9:00, and you're like, oh, my God, I gotta go do the whole session. And they just sometimes, sometimes give me jack vibes. But no, never sports teaching.

Well, you know, I'm not much of a sportsman after the cricket game that we played together. That still haunts me, even though it's over 12 years ago that we played.

Still haunts me.

But you, I mean, you showed great. You showed great intent. Like you, you enthusiasm.

I want it to be good. But when you're facing a ball, you can't just summon a whole lot of cricket abilities that you don't have.

No, no. But again, you. I admired the courage of going. Yes, I'll join your indoor cricket team, having not played that sport before.

You know.

I actually thought I was like, maybe I will be good at it, but with no evidence because I haven't played.

So is the thought I have when I try every sport.

I.

I this could be the one.

I watched a movie on the plane. Um, About golf. It's a pretty boring movie, but it's about a guy called Maurice. True story 1976. The British Open was opened to everyone. Yep. And he just ticked the form that he was a professional and liked the idea of playing around. And he'd never played a round before. How'd he go? He got the highest score ever. Yeah. That's bad. That's bad golf. It's bad in golf.

I thought the true story was going to be. And like anyone, the open. No.

He just hoped he was good.

So the point. So the point of the doco was.

You can't just.

Yeah.

We with with gradual accumulation of practice you will get increasingly better at a sport.

He did wear a fake moustache and pretended to be a Frenchman the next year and got in again.

That should have been the point of the talk. Sorry. All right.

So we've got we've got slightly off topic.

Here, but.

Jack, on the topic of fake moustaches. Think about it. Think about it. For your door stopping of the Mars CEO. We've got so much chocolate news coming in. Um, can I like there's. I think, Andy, you said. You said we're not just going to be the repository here for for mis coatings. Now, I know we spent a lot of time on the all kit. No, Kat. Yeah, like, we sort of rectified that. We've unfortunately opened a box

Missing internal delight we.

Have got from Jeff. Um, the Cadbury? No Mello koala. Yeah. Um. okay. Just a solid koala from Melanie. Um, two Tim Tams in the pack were nude. No chocolate coating. Just. But the rest of the pack was covered in chocolate. Ooh, curly wurly one from Brendan. Um, it's, uh, just the caramel all curl. No word. Well, so there were. There is a bunch. There is a bunch coming through now. I'm as surprised as you guys. Like, you shouldn't let the chocolate vat ever run empty.

Yeah, yeah. Which which I think happens often because you think the chocolate squirting over them seems to be the constant. Keep that up. That vat is full.

And it does seem like it's a problem specific to chocolate companies. Do you know what I mean? Like, there are no no one's ever. Like, I.

Ordered the car without the medal.

I got a I got a Mitsubishi Outlander.

It was.

Just a.

Chassis.

And the engine and they forgot to put panels on. Yeah. You know. No, that's true. So it just seems to be like no other. There's just no other product out there that seems to get away with this level of, oh, well, it's hit and miss. You know, we.

Haven't had we haven't had the wrong drink in the wrong canister and I'd assume that that would happen. Would you.

Oh, it's so easy to fake. Would you love to see a solo in a Coke bottle kind of thing.

Wouldn't that be crazy?

But different machines, different ends of the.

Chocolate, chalky milks or strawberry milk? They'd have a they have a.

Big M factory, which could happen at all milk.

And then just squirting the flavoring in or.

I think, like we guessed last time, it only takes a worker at one of those, um, factories to go. Wouldn't it be funny to move one of the strawberry ones over to the chocolate milk? Um.

Yeah. I mean, it's it is a good joke.

It would be.

Funny, but.

But it's.

You just have to believe that it's out there because you're never going to get the evidence. We got a pretty, pretty irate, um, podcaster and okay, that's having a go at you. And they've done quite a bit of heavy maths here, but I won't. Yeah, I won't, I won't bore you with the maths. I've run it. It does check out um it's from they call themselves Cocoa Cop. So they're not um they're not, they're not giving their real name, although it is clearly visible in their Gmail address. Um,

Cocoa cop.

They said they've got they've had enough with your your aspersions towards cat chunky. Um, they, they cite the many times that you have said that the chunkies are terrible because you don't like the wafer ratio, um, compared to the normal KitKat bars. Yes. You've gone on record many times on the show. I think I've actually backed you up a few times, but I'm happy to throw you under the bus. Um, saying, yeah, it's too much wafer and it's not enough chocolate.

Yeah, it's also.

It's too big a finger and like, the ratio is out of whack, which you hearing it, you could absolutely. You know, I could get behind that sort of logic. Um, well they've done the maths and they've gone through and had a look. And this is obviously something that Kit-cat have thought about too, because the difference between a normal Kit Kat and one and the chunky is 4% chocolate.

So there is a difference.

Well, there's a tiny difference, but it's 4% enough to.

Throw it off. 4% less.

4% lower. Yeah. Um, well, then he's right.

That only confirms what Andy thought.

He's saying that's below the detectable human threshold.

That's his detector.

Well, he's challenging you, Andy, to figure out the difference between a normal Kit Kat and one with 4% of the chocolate scraped off. So he's saying, if you think you can detect 4%, we get eight bars, right? Like we get eight fingers of regular Kit Kat. And on one of them, we scrape off 4% of the chocolate and you have to eat all eight and go number three had 4% less chocolate. He's saying if your mouth is this delicate, if you if you're this finely tuned a machine, you should be able to do it.

Yeah, I'm happy to have a crack at that. But my, my issue is also, I think in its smaller dose it just snaps and crisps. It's better than the, the bigger block of wafer it's about. It might not be about the ratio, it's about how big a chunk the wafer is.

Yeah. He might say you're changing your tune on that. He certainly is under the impression that you've had a you've you've had an ingredients based gripe. Well do you think you could detect 4%.

Yeah.

I think you could.

You could. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so do I.

So let's see how you go. Um, I mean, I don't have it prepared, but let's let's certainly do it in coming weeks, okay? I mean, we haven't done a special skill for ages. It feels selfish to do one of you, but I'm I'm happy to back that.

Um, okay.

Done. And if. Yeah, if you get it, then, um. Oh my God, imagine if you got it the same episode Jack has. What was her name again? The CEO.

No, I don't know yet.

We know.

Just popping back in here. I'm not going to do the test. I don't, all right? Because I'm just I just I just had a googled the chunky and again was, you know, disgusted.

Are you just stand by. So you're just not going to enter into this.

Yeah. Because the thing is, is it's a huge block of wafer and then a much thicker block of chocolate around. If I had a malteser the size of an apple that had the same ratio.

Tesla. But go on.

Sorry Morteza, Tesla.

It's not as enjoyable to eat.

It wouldn't be as enjoyable to eat. And that's the problem with it. Yeah, that is true.

You can't just keep increasing and increasing and increasing candies expecting us to fall for it. Although Toblerone has tried that and.

We've fallen for.

That.

And you certainly obviously lose some customers, but they're much, um, I think for the 5000 year anniversary of the pyramids, they're doing pyramids sized like a full scale, pyramid sized Toblerone. And that's certainly one I wouldn't expect you to have a crack at there, Jack. So I do take your point. Yeah. Um, and so it's a it's just.

I mean, in our own time, just I just don't think it's going to be interesting. No.

Yeah. Fair enough.

Hey, can we play a game? Which is a fierce game that we, you know, we take it very, very seriously. We don't here to give away hats. Yeah.

Um, we're here to hoard hats. That's our job. We're like hat dragons. And you're the knights who must steal our hats.

Yes, it's game called. Tell us something we haven't thought of for a while. Um, you've got to basically ring up and suggest someone that Hamish or I haven't thought about this year. So the game gets easier. Sorry. Game gets, uh, harder as the year goes on. We're vulnerable.

Right now because we haven't had much time to think of anything this year, but he's barely started.

And I don't know how it came about. But people send in hats and that's what you have the chance to win. Um, I'll quickly go through the hats. Uh, first of all, tactile systems, um, it's just a it's a flexi flit cap. Um, gray. grey. Pretty ugly.

Pretty dull colour. Why? Why do you settle on that grey?

Yeah, a dull, a dull colour. And I would say, with all due respect to tactile systems, who I'm sure do a great job. Um, pretty dull, um, logo as well, I reckon.

They've come up, they've gone. Hey, we've got three options for the hats. The promotional hats. Um, obviously option one is cheaper and they get more expensive and they've gone just go for option one. We just need to get some hats. Yeah, we don't need to put much effort into it, so I wouldn't.

Recommend that one. But hey, it's their own. This one's a cracker. Mitch's lawn.

Care. Oh, he's back, it's back. We've seen Mitch for ages.

Yes, he's.

Done it again. That's one of our favorite hats of all time. Mitch was one of the hats for Mitch's logo was a hat from my four years ago. Yeah, yeah, I've still got mine at home.

I'm not sure if it's new and improved, but it's a Legionnaires. Same hat. It's the same hat.

Mitch either ordered a ton of stock or it keeps re-upping because they're so popular. I hope it's the second.

Orange with a bright green Mitch's lawn care logo on the front, which is I'm.

Biased. I'm biased because I took one of those hats home. But it is. I mean, embroidered. Special note to Mitch's lawn care you may or may not remember, and one of the first businesses to verify that the loyalty card was accepted at their, um. Oh.

Good memory.

Um, finally, probably the best cause got you for life has sent one in. That's suicide prevention. Um, so, again, it's actually a pretty good cap.

It is actually a good cap. That's. They've also gone for option two or maybe even three when presented with the options.

And they're not showing off with it. They're not trying to put too much on it. Um, they're just.

Quietly supporting a great.

Cause there. The three, um, we've got people standing by. Let's jump into it.

It's been a while since I've.

Thought about Kieren Perkins.

Oh, yeah, I have.

Yeah, it's been a while since I've seen them.

Really thought about Kieren Perkins.

He was in the news not too long ago. Um, uh, he's the sports minister now, isn't he? Or he is? Ehm. He's something in the Department of Sport. No head of sports somewhere.

Head of like Australian Sports Corporation or something.

Something. Something high up. But he was on the news going, um, because, you know, they're talking about the steroids games or the drugs that we were allowed to dope. Really? He was against it. Sorry. Just to make that clear, he was coming out going, hey, this is we. Have we all gone mad? Like, this is silly. He was a bit more forceful than that, but, um, that's where I. Yeah. That's right. Well, I bumped.

Into him and realised I hadn't thought of him for a while until I was right in front of him. And I said, are you back in? Have you been back in the pool? Yeah. And, uh, for people who don't know Kieren Perkins, he won. He was one of our golden boys. Won gold, he said. Haven't swum again since giving it up. Wow. I said, what what about what about recreation? He's like, no, don't go in there.

What about just a dip in the ocean?

Won't do.

Say whether he.

Takes one of those hydrofoil surfboards with him everywhere he goes. We'll not touch water.

We'll not touch water.

Doesn't even have a bath.

So for those hoping to get a glimpse of Perkins back at it, I wouldn't go lurking around your local pools. Because you won't.

You won't.

See.

Kids come out. No, we're doing something else this weekend.

I thought we were working.

No, I just said on the podcast.

We're looking for a we're.

Doing a.

Perk and look and no.

I just it doesn't sound like he's going to be there.

I thought he might be.

What else do we do? Should we see if Andrew Gaze is playing basketball?

Yeah, we could go and.

Gaze and a gaze.

Kieren Perkins is CEO of the Australian Sports Commission and the Australian Institute.

What did you say that earlier? Jake just came to me. Just a fact I havent thought of in a while, but it did pop back into my head.

Adrien, how do you tell us something we haven't thought of for a while?

Ahoy, Hamish, Andy and Jack. Um, the person who I'm thinking that you hopefully haven't thought of in a while is Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Oh.

Um. Sorry.

Oh. Come on.

When did you think of Dog the Bounty Hunter?

I had to wear the glasses like bounty hunter style glasses on an episode of the 100 this season.

And they were saying, you look like dog.

And they. I said, can we can we get some kind of. I didn't want to say speed dealer glasses at the time, so I was trying to I think we get bounty hunter glasses and they. That doesn't really make sense either.

No, it kind of sounds like something from Star Wars. Yes.

So then I said, oh, you know, Dog the Bounty Hunter and I sent a photo, a text message, a photo of the style of glasses that were required to be picked up. It would have been all.

Clear for me.

She was a part of the.

I think I booked a cameo from dog. Did I send that to you, Andy? Was it.

Someone else? No, it wasn't for me. How many cameos are you.

Booking that you don't know where they're going.

To?

I, I go through patches and there was one where I got dog who was bloody expensive.

How much?

Oh, like over $100.

Really?

And I can.

You remember.

I got to say he's delivery because, you know, I think they have to talk for 30s. Really? And he was doing a fair bit of looking off camera, so he'd written a cue card for himself, and it was just a lot of pause where you want it to be personalized. There was like a fair bit of pausing.

And.

It.

Just.

It deletes the personalized fear. It's like if.

Someone, hey, how are you.

Going? Mitch heard about all the lawn care you're doing.

Well, though, good suggestion for Mitch. Yes, to get a personalized message. Adrian. Well done. Bad luck. Uh, it was Adrian. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it was, although we have thought of him. Uh, Nick, ahoy to you. Oh, we boys.

Gusto to you.

And gusto to you. To you. Um, tell us something we haven't thought of for a while.

Stuart diver.

Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

That's a good one. That's a really.

Good. That's a really good one.

There we go. Three green lights straight away. No harm to the diver for a while. Yes.

And I mean for people who remember, we should recall there's a lot of younger listeners. He was part of one of the great catastrophes in Australia.

Tragedy, Thredbo.

Tragedy. Trapped in.

A thread.

I can't remember how many days, but he made it out. Yeah. Yep. Heroic story. Um. And then became rhyming slang for $5 note. Yeah. So.

Exactly. Um, which which puts you at high risk of being remembered more Stewie Diver. But I can't say I've said that this year.

I wouldn't have said it this year.

Um. Nick. Congratulations. What are you going to go for? Mitch's, uh, lawn care, the legionnaire's hat got you for life. Or, um, we wouldn't recommend this, but the very bland, tactile systems. Australia.

I've got to go for Mitch's lawn care. Surely you have.

To. Yeah. Well done. Makes sense.

Hold on. If you'd have said tactile systems, I would have smelt a huge rat. But not only have tactile systems sent us the hat, they've then flooded the phones with their employees to talk about how good the hat is.

Uh, James, Ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boys! And President Weasel. Uh.

Ahoy!

James, tell us something we haven't thought of for a while.

Hoping you haven't recently heard of, uh, m Night Shyamalan.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, I think.

I have. This year.

Tim and I would Shyamalan a bit, um, because, well, we had him on for the for the radio back in the day. Yes. And but and no.

But no offense to him, but I would have stopped thinking about that interview.

Well, it's the it's the it's the name that was always hard to remember. Yeah. And I think one of us added an extra syllable.

I mean, I mean those. That was a different time, I suppose, when you just needed to try and remember the name. But. Yeah. So. But do you still think of that?

Yes. Now I think about that. The fact that one of us during the interview said Qomolangma or something, it was, it was, it was longer than it should have been. And, and and now, I.

Mean, odds are it's me, and not for any kind of insensitive reasons. I'm just, you know, I've only just recently learnt Andy's name. Just not one of my fortes is remembering the name accurately, so I tried. I seem to have unfortunately passed on to my daughter, who just cannot remember names. It makes me think it's genetic. She's very young.

She's just learning basic maths at the moment.

No, I mean, she's six and I go like she's. They do French at her school, I mean, only once a week. But she's been doing it for a year and a half. Hasn't remembered a word.

All right. Yeah. I think she under duress.

She said, I think non-juror is how you say it.

I was like, oh, come on, Ruth.

I also think, um, M Knight has got a new TV.

Series coming out. Here we.

Go. Not not not confident enough to say his name, I actually.

Ah. How how is it? What is.

It? No. We running out of time.

Okay. So. You know, on the.

Internet, you know, on the internet to get full up from the podcast episode. Only a limited number of bandwidth.

Sorry, James. Uh, Stephen, Ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boys.

Tell us something we haven't thought of for a while.

Have you recently.

Thought of exhibit host of pimp my ride?

No, no. Thought of T-Pain. This morning, Jack and I talked about T-Pain. Um, we did. Also a rapper, but no, no exhibit.

No, I don't think I would have I he'd be in there, but I don't think you know him in a lineup. I don't know, I would.

Have, I would have even, I would have possibly thought of the show, but maybe not thought of exhibit. Yeah.

So that's another safe.

Safe for me. Well.

Well done. Steven.

One, um.

Two options for you. Trucker hat, trusty royal blue. Gotcha. For life. Or the very dull, um, lead grey, uh, tactile systems. Hats. Flexi fit.

Which one would you guys go for?

Well, I don't lead the witness, but the tactile was pretty ugly.

Uh, I'll go for the first. Then.

I have led the witness.

Not the most impartial court I've ever seen. Um, you've got great selection.

You've got a mate.

Well done. Thank you.

I'm. I've got to keep it or delete it.

We rarely.

Delete. Have we deleted one? Yeah. We've deleted.

Before.

Yeah, we have deleted.

Yeah. We deleted my golf story. Oh, yeah. That's time you weren't interested in. But times have changed now, and you may be interested in it because you're both golfing. But this is because we know that we're a pre-recorded medium and podcast. Yeah. Um, we don't take anything out unless Darcy just gets his old little scissors at it and removes things that he doesn't like reflecting on him.

Related.

Yes, but, um, this one is because I'm unsure about the content, as.

In, it's not good enough for broadcast.

I think it's good enough. I just think it's probably not. I mean, we're not highbrow, but this is definitely lowbrow.

Okay. Well, you know, we've we've had we have been.

Down there.

Have had some examples previously.

Mhm.

So I'll give you what I thought of was when. Hamish farted in your face to see if you could smell what he had for lunch.

That was to measure the speed of my digestion. Yes. That was. And it was remarkably quick. It was able to get able to get through in a few hours, which we had. We had doctors saying impossible. And we're like, yeah, we'll tell it to that guy because he smelt fish and chips I got.

How did that happen? That was remarkable. Um, it's funny you bring up that, Jack, because it is the same realm. It comes in from a guy called Nick. Um, he said, uh, on your last episode, which was 240, this was the last year you're trying to figure out who farted throughout the year?

Um, no. Yeah. I mean, we had a lot of that.

Reminded me of something I have at work. We've got a WhatsApp group called Only Farts, where you're only allowed to post voice memos of your farts on the chat. There's no other chat.

Allowed.

You must post farts regularly or else you remove from the chat.

Oh, you'd be out, Jack.

We haven't heard from Jack for seven months.

You can only join the group if you've shown potential to contribute good content. We celebrate all farts. Loud. Soft, long, short, squeaky or wet. Hit me up if you'd like to hear.

If you want more.

And that's where we're at now. I've, I've, I did hit him up. I've got I've compiled them all.

God I would love to hear that phone call. Ah. Hi. This is Andy calling for the farts.

So I suppose this is where we're going to play the opener of keep it or delete it. And it'll either go to the next segment because we've heard them all and I think that's appropriate.

Are we going to hear some farts.

We're going to hear them. But whether everyone else in the way we.

Subject everyone else to. Yeah, I think I think again, not knowing whether this will just skip straight to the deleted it or we'll hear the full thing. I think going into this, our best shot of not having this deleted would just be to go quality, I think over quantity to hear some good.

Good.

Quick good quick variety. I think everyone would be interested in that. And then it probably comes down to brevity.

Okay, Jack.

Keep it or delete it. Jesus.

That's number one. Big day at work.

Can't play this.

Jack's tapped out early. Jack, we found Jack's limit. I still think we can.

Oh, I didn't lock. Okay.

Okay. I just, I sorry, I thought there was some level of, like, kind of packaging around it, like, creative, creative wise.

No there wasn't.

What a dilemma. What a dilemma.

It's the dilemma is there was real curiosity for me there before we started.

And there will be for people, if we.

People will feel that, they'll be.

Outraged because people will be imagining that they missed out on a great treat. So the question to you is like, do you just let the public have all the information and then we bear the brunt of any backlash or you get people going, great. I'm really glad you played that, that I was interested to see what level and quality of thoughts would be on a WhatsApp like that. Maybe we start one at our own work.

Jack.

People delete it. It's a delete for me.

I'm no mate. This is tough. This is what it's like to be a newspaper editor, I think. You know, it's 1159 at night. You're on whatever floor in Manhattan. The New York Times is set to print.

Are we going with the story or not?

Are we running this headline or not? Yeah.

Do we? It's hard to hear, but maybe people need to hear the truth.

You can't print this. Yeah, but don't we haven't we made a name for ourselves? Aren't we still relevant after all these? Because we dare to do what common sense tells us otherwise not to do. Mhm. It's a, it's a keep it from me. It's keep it from me.

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