Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo, and Lorenzo on this episode, I want to talk about optimism because.
It's going to be a great conversation.
It's gonna be awesome, and I can't wait to discover what we're going to discover in this dialogue.
Yeah, don't, don't. Don't be so naive. You just think everything is going to be okay when it clearly is not. This is not going to be a very good conversation, but I'm willing to try anyway. I was in a meeting with a group of people and there was some you know, things being discussed that didn't necessarily have obvious solutions to the problem, Like they had to be worked out still, and there wasn't any magic bullet that would
have solved everything. It was clearly going to be a situation where they're going to be trade offs and and prioritization and values we're gonna have to be taken into account to make a decision, a hard decision on what the right way or the wrong way to go was.
As this team.
And there was a person in the meeting who was incredibly I wanted I wanted to say optimistic. But but by the end of the meeting, I believed and and I spoke with others afterward who also believed that they were being unrealistic about the situation, and and the the things this person would be saying were indicative of a of a person who you know, the old saying when when when a person drank the kool aid, you know, of their whatever, whoever their company is, they're just this
constant cheerleader. And and I'm not saying that cheerleading isn't important. I'm not saying that. You know, sometimes you you have to take a leap of faith with your organization, uh if if they have done right by you in the past.
There are times when when that might be necessary. But but I think that the difference between a person who does that and just being optimistic, they're not the same thing, because I know people who have been optimistic in the past, and it doesn't rise to the level of where I wanted to roll my eyes and say, if you're feeling this way right now, you clearly haven't considered everything. But I didn't want to sound pessimistic. And yet I think
there's a way to do both. There's a way to be realistic about a situation without making it seem like you're just blindly following whatever your organization is doing. That you're a thinking person and you can figure things out, and that you can take things into account, that you're that kind of person without losing the optimism that is I think a necessity if you're going to be a leader of people. And I want to talk about how to kind of thread that needle, because I think it's
a fine line. I think some people do it really well, and I think some people struggle with it.
Yeah, I agree, I think that there's I think a big part of that really comes down to authenticity for me, Like I think that we all know people that are just overly joys. They have a they have a positive energy to them. They are kind of happy to be alive, They're happy to be there. They have this genuine feeling of you know, things are good, things are great, Like we can we can accomplish anything. It's great to see somebody, it's good to see you, like it's good to be here.
Like they have this general sense of optimism that I would even say many times it's kind of contagious. Like they're just good people to be around. And I think when you are that person and people understand that and sense that, then it doesn't get old and it doesn't feel like you're kind of faking it or that you're you know, too far into to your point, like drinking the kool aid or whatever. Like you that's just who
you are as a person. I think when people come across as optimistic but you're you're not getting a sense of like it being authentic or I see this a lot with people that in you know, in the leadership game, that are extremely well read, meaning that they read a lot of books about leadership, a lot of them all the time, and they're always quoting them and they're talking
about them that type of thing. But then you're as you're even talking about it, you're just thinking, like, well, have I seen you implement any of this, like besides like that being an idea, besides that being a quote that you got or a thing that said, like how does it actually show up like every day for you? And what are you doing besides just reading the book?
Like how are you implementing that into your leadership? So I view this like optimism aspect in the same kind of way where it's like either you are truly, you know, an optimistic person. You're somebody who has this positive energy
and that's who you are all the time. And then and you're excited about something at work or a strategy or a process or something like, people are like, yeah, that's cool, like you're really into this, versus somebody who turns it on when they have to or or or then you never get the sense of the realness of who they are. It feels like it's just kind of
a facade. It feels like they don't want to share, and they use that optimism to even push you away a little bit, to not get too personal or get too deep into who they are what they really think.
Right, right, if I if I bury them a head in the sand, then the bad things can't get me, right, Like, yeah, and you're right. And that that is when optimism rises to the level of being unhealthy, because you know it, it kind of belies a lack of cognition around what the actual situation is. But there are also people who seem to be able to be very realistic about the situation is whatever it is, very realistic and kind of
uh able to articulate the problems. But yet they still seem optimistic, even even in situations where they're going to be massive trade offs needed and there isn't a solution that really solves everything. There's gonna be some some fallout or some some hard, hard decisions made, they still seem to be optimistic. And and I I think the difference with those people it's optimism isn't on that everything's going
to be great optimism. I believe it comes down to whether a person feels like they are in control of whatever they can be in control of, right, like that they are prepared with the skills, the knowledge, the abilities, that they're prepared with those things to be able to best take on whatever is about to happen, and equally as equally as much they are able to articulate the things that are out of their control and let go
of them. And and and that allows them to have that optimism that doesn't let go of the realism, right Because if you're optimistic and and it comes off as like you have a lack of realism around the situation, that could come off as like I'm in control of all of this, right, But but you and I both know when it comes to you know, business decisions and sometimes you know, hard business decisions that evolve trade offs.
You you know very well as well as I do, that that not everything is in our control, That there are things that are made, decisions that are made at higher pay grades than we are at UH, and that we just have to deal with the fallout of UH and kind of navigate those those.
Things as they happen.
But but if if I know, like on a very on a very broad level, I'm working for a company and it's going to go out of business, Okay, well does that terrify me or not? I don't know. Do I have a strong network and a good resume? You know, have I am? I? Do I understand what my options are? Do I know my own worth? If the answer is yes to all that, then I can I'm more likely to land well when the company goes out of business
if I don't. If I can't say all those things, then the idea of my company going out of business is terrifying. Right, And in order to be optimistic about it, it doesn't mean that you think, oh, my company's not going out of business. That's that's when the optimism turns into the fantasy. It's when I don't need to make my resume great and develop my network and make sure that I have the right skills because my company is just fine. That's when the optimism rises to the fantasy.
But optimism in the face of something difficult just means do I can I convey to my people a sense of calmness that comes from separating out the things I can control from the things that I can't, and on the things that I can control, have I taken the necessary steps to make sure they are most likely to
end in my favor. I think that's really necessary if you're a leader, to be able to do that, And that's where you can kind of get people to come along for the ride versus just like sitting there judging you for not being realistic about the situation, or equally as bad. If you come off as pessimistic about the situation, then they might believe that you're not lying to them. They might believe that you are, that your decisions are rooted in reality. Oh, my company's going out of business.
I'm gonna be destitute. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I have nothing.
Okay.
They might believe that what you're saying is true, but good luck getting them to follow you if that's what you're saying to them. Right, So, if you're hoping to lead the team of people through a difficult time, then going about it that way is equally detrimental to your ability to lead them.
Yeah, No, I think it's right.
I think it's the more you're kind of talking through that and I'm thinking about it, I actually think that it's in.
It's in the.
Variety of how you connect with people and interact with people as a leader, and like giving them and showing them variety is actually what develops the element of authenticity because like, you can be an optimistic person, you can be very positive, you can see the world that way.
But if there's times when you're not like you, if you don't show people when you're not a little bit, or when you don't show people that maybe you have a concern or like, while I'm optimistic that we'll get there, I'm also frustrated on how we're being asked to do this or what the hurdle is that's in front of us, or whatever the case is, Like, if you don't give people the variety aspect to say like, yeah, like I am a positive person who sees and believes and are
ability to get this done. But I'm going to have my moments, and you don't share those moments to a degree, you don't have that ability to to adjust or to to not just show one facet of who you are. I think that's probably what I was thinking about, was like those human to be human, yeah, exactly, to be human exactly, yeah, because like those that I think struggle
with it. I'm thinking about in my head, like who those people are I've met over time, and I go like, yeah, they really only show you one facet, yeah, and maybe a slightly second one.
But like that, by only showing that, it makes.
It really hard to believe that there's a wholeness or you know, to you like there's a human element, like there are there are days when you show up not that way, and that's okay, and you should. But I think that when when you don't allow people to see you as a whole, then it kind of creates that like questioning of like, well, is this really who you are?
Right right?
There's there's there's We've talked about this in the past, about this importance of authenticity, But but that doesn't mean that you're not on stage too right, Like if a leader is always on stage, and I think a lot of people interpret that to mean that they have to be this kind of like this rock, you know, like everything's great all the time. They can't show the vulnerability
or the weakness. And no on stage means that the stage that you're on, the part that you've auditioned for, is a part where you're auditioning to be a real person, not a fake person. So authenticity, authenticity combined with having to be on stage all the time means that what you're being judged at while on stage is your authenticity,
not your positivity. Right, It's both. And the leaders that I know who just really do a great job of all always being positive, always being optimistic, not not ever kind of letting the other side of them out a little bit, many of them end up, you know, kind of torpedoing their own career because something gets to them. Eventually, Something eventually hits and all of the stuff that was being pushed down for months or years comes to the surface.
And I'm not saying they you know, they blow up at somebody and and and start you know, going up
in a blaze of glory. I just mean something comes out a little a little line or something they say or something that kind of completely destroys the facade that they've been trying to build up over a period of months or years, and and and it and it kind of creeps out, and that that kind of kills their entire ability to lead their team because now they're being seen as also also that oh, you're not only you're not this positive person, but also everything that we came
to know about you is fake. And so the best way to not ever have that happen is to not try to keep it from happening, to just be yourself. And if you just be yourself, that's great, as long as who yourself is is an optimistic person. And if you have a hard time doing that, you need to kind of think about where that's rooted in, Like why do you have a hard time being an optimistic person
in general? Why do you have a hard time separating out the things you can control from the things you can't, and then taking the steps to make sure that you align your actions with the way that makes it most
likely to turn out in your favor. Not that you believe with all your heart that it will turn out in your favor, but that you believe that whatever the outcome is, you won't look back on it and think I could have done something differently, or I should have been more prepared, or I should have done this differently
versus this. The idea is, when the chips have all fallen, can you look back on it and think I did everything that I could in order to make this turn out the right way, and I conveyed that to my people in a realistic way. And if the answer to those things is both yes, then regardless of what happens, you won't have degraded your ability to lead those people and your ability to lead people in general.
Yeah, exactly. And with that it brings us to this episode's womanute hack. But first off, your words from our sponsors, all.
Right for this episode is one minute hackers I want you to do. When you're interacting with your people, the key difference between coming off as optimistic or as living in a fantasy land about what real life is or what's what the actual things that are happening are are whether or not you have the ability to validate the concerns of the person you're talking to prior to moving forward. And so when a person is comes off as that
drink the kool aid cheerleader kind of person. What happens is someone areulates something that's a problem or an issue that they're trying to deal with, and the response never addresses that thing that they brought up. It never validates that concern. It glosses over it from a standpoint of just be positive. Oh, you'll be fine, we'll get through it together, right, And that doesn't actually tell a person that their concerns are valid. It actually tells the person
their concerns are not valid. You're saying to them, you're wrong to be concerned about this, but I'm not backing
it up with anything. The right thing to do. If you're a leader and you're trying to convey a sense of optimism, it starts with validating the concern that the other person has, because if they're really articulating it and they really believe that to be true, there's a reason why they're saying that, And so meeting them where they are and kind of validating why they feel that concern and then helping them get to a place where they feel like they have more control over the situation will
make them be less likely to be pessimistic about it and you'll be more likely to be seen as the optimistic leader, not as the fantasy land cheerleader type of leader.
Yeah. I think it's a great call out.
I think that it's like there's been many times in my career where I've rolled my eyes at that fantasy land like raw rah, everything is always positive cheerleader and like look, while there's an element of good energy that you can get from that, I also think that if you're truly talking about like being authentic and being someone who wants to have a positive influence on others, you can definitely show up in a place where your energy
is contagious and there's an element of fun. There's an element of kind of like looseness and like willingness to be you know, silly, or to to get people, you know, to to level up their energy in a good and positive way without being the everything is awesome, you know uh style of leader.
And I think that for me is actually the truest.
Test to optimism is saying I'm optimistic because I know we can do this. I'm optimistic because we can have fun and work hard at the same time. I'm optimistic because we have plenty of things to celebrate and I'm optimistic because I know that when we apply ourselves to whatever we're working on, we're going.
To find success. And I don't have to be in that rah rah rah, Let's go team. We can do this if we all work hard. You know, like there's a place for that.
But I think that if you're really trying to show up as yourself and show up in a positive way, I think for me, that's the way to do it.
Yeah, I completely agree with that. And and what it comes down to is if if if the people you're talking to believe that you've heard their concerns prior to showing your optimism, if they truly believe that you understand where they're coming from, and you haven't just kind of glossed over it because it's the elephant in the room that you don't want to address. You're just kind of ignoring what they've said because you want to move on to the positivity that you are so good at doing.
That's when it will come off as inauthentic. But addressing their concerns from a standpoint of that that if they're articulating them, then they're real to them. They might be real to you. You might not agree with them, but the fact that they are bringing it up means that it is real to them in that moment, and to to ignore it or to not address it, and if you don't agree with it, you can ask more questions. Hey, let's let's dive more into that. Like you, you're you're
clearly concerned about this happening. Maybe I'm missing something? What what are you thinking right now that maybe I'm missing you know, like, be open to this idea that that person is not just right about the about their beliefs, but that you're wrong. And you might be wrong, but chances are just operating that way will get them to open up about what their concerns are and that will tell you a lot more about what they need to hear in the moment to be able to let go
of those concerns. Whereas if you just tell them, tell them to let go of those concerns without addressing it to begin with, or the reasons why they have them, no one's going to do that. They're not going to let go of their concerns. They're going to hold onto them, and you won't be equipped to deal with them as a leader because you never stopped to ask what they were, or why the.
Person has them absolutely and with that it brings us at the end of this episode, this is hack your leadership.
I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you all next time.