Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo. And Lorenzo.
On today's episode, we're continuing our discussion about the Forbes article that we came across a few weeks ago on the Coaches Council. This is advice that coaches, professional coaches would give to their younger selves as they were starting out their careers.
You know, kind of advice they wish they had.
All Right, they can look back and say, yeah, this is good advice now, and I do these things now. I wish I had known that when I was, you know, twenty years ago or thirty years ago, when my career started. It's been a fascinating conversation over the last few weeks, and we've gone through about thirteen or fourteen different pieces of.
Advice on today's discussion.
The piece of advice that the Coach's counsel would give to their younger selves is about appreciating the moment, and the words they use is that progress does not require perfection. It just means taking one step at a time and moving forward. My younger self did not appreciate being in the moment and enjoying my progress. Instead, I had to focus on the next thing to do. The process is a great opportunity to learn and to feel gratitude if
you allow yourself to experience it. There's there's no denying that. Like I can say right now, yes, that's fantastic advice.
I love that advice.
And then whether or not I do it in the moment is hit and miss at best. You know, sometimes I'm successful, other times not so much.
What do you think about this?
Yeah, I think it's so true.
Absolutely.
I think that there's a part of when you have passion for the work and you have drive for the work, it can be it can be hard not just to stop and smell the roses, but to even realize you're walking by a garden, you know what I mean, Like for sure, really difficult to do that.
I think I've.
Learned over time to create spaces for those moments. And I'll give you a great example. I do this pretty you know, pretty consistently, where it's like having meetings and moments, bringing leaders together, taking the time to go deep into strategies or plans, commitments, things like that. Creating this space uh to to do things like go have dinner together and go eat and like and have some of that informal time and be able to like just talk about things.
You know, we were you know, I had a meeting not too long ago and we had dinner together and like you know, we had great food and sat around a table and then had a whole bunch of conversations about things like TV shows and movies and and characters and books and just like all types of things that people were interested in. Questions like, hey, if you had a moment to hang out with, you know, a celebrity that you would really want to like talk to and
learn from, who would that be? Like those types of spaces where you can just take that moments and enjoy it. But then I think it's important, it's a leader is to say those things. You know, I'm I'm known for saying like, hey, let's take a picture right now, Let's get a picture, because you know, if you look at this team a year from now, two years from now, three years from now, there's two things that should happen.
Number One, there should be an expectation that many people are doing different things different places, because like, if we're not working towards progress or getting better than what are we doing? And we want to have the pictures because you want to be able to be like, hey, I remember three, four or five years ago, Remember this day,
Remember this conversation, remember this time. Like taking those moments intentionally to capture the moment, but then create the space to have the informal connection, I think is so critical because that's really where the memories come. In my opinion anyway, that's how it resonates with me. Was like, the picture means a thing, like we all take pictures, we all have those pictures, Like we don't want to take a picture.
We take a picture, right, all right, everybody team picture, get together like okay whatever, like it's going to happen. But those moments in spaces, I think of the things that allow you to slow down, pause, enjoy it, talk about it, and appreciate the time.
Yeah, you're not wrong about that.
I think in your example it being kind of a team thing. I think it's heavily dependent on the culture, meaning it's it's very fortunate itat it's great that the culture is such where you can do that and you can have a dinner and the discussion is about things that are not work related that you're just getting know each other and learning about each other and connecting.
You can you can.
Contrast that with the the opposite end, and you can picture these you know, kind of awkward scenes from like the office, you know, where where they're trying to get people together and because the employees don't want to be there, and because the boss is awkward, socially awkward and doesn't know how to ask the questions correctly, it's just this cringey moment.
And I've been in those meetings.
I've been in ones that are that don't necessarily rise to the office level, but they where I felt like things were trying to be forced when when the leader was trying to create culture by doing the things that that really should be the product of good culture that already existed. Uh.
And so that that's fantastic.
I think when I look at this article around this advice about appreciating the moment, Yes, it is important to do as a team. I think where a lot of people struggle with it is doing it for themselves, like
just in the moment. I know, oh that I that I have coached employees who wanted to apply for a promotion or a position while they've been in their current their current position or role for two months or three months or six months, and I know that just kind of talking to them and knowing that a they don't have the necessary skills to do this next role, but for some reason they think they do.
Now.
I love the confidence. I love the confidence of somebody saying that I think I could do the next thing. But but that's why it's the job of I think leaders to kind of help people, help steer people in a way that doesn't look like you're trying to, you know, kind of squash them, but it does look like you're trying to make sure they're realistic about what the future
looks like. And So when I when I think about my own experience with this process and I think about when I'm likely to think about when I don't enjoy the moment and I enjoy the process and I think about the next thing, it's not when I first start out doing something. It's it's several months in or you know,
six months to a year in. At the very beginning, I feel like I'm learning something new every single day, and that kind of satiates that need for the next thing, because the next thing could just be the next skill that I'm learning. But on a long enough timeline, you know, you know, call it three months, six months, or a year,
depending on the role. It could be that there is nothing new on a daily basis, but the new things or the new skills or the new experiences that you get maybe happen a lot for you know, fewer and
further between. Maybe then the the times that you come across something where you don't know what to do, or you have to learn something new or apply a new skill, maybe that happens every three months as opposed to every day at the beginning, and then you start to think, oh, you know what, I'm done here, I've done everything I can do here. Now it's time to move on. It's this kind of this feeling like I now I know everything.
And it's not really thinking I know everything, but it's thinking I know enough, I know enough where I don't get satiated every day or every week with something new to learn. It's just the repetitive motion of doing the job, whatever that is, and that can get tedious sometimes. If you are the type of person who wants to move forward, I think that's when it's most important to make sure you have people around you that can help you and keep you grounded, but a lot of that has to
be internally. You have to kind of kind of get there on your own. Yeah.
I think it's also important, like in the micro moments of like what we talk a lot about, which is kind of self reflection, sitting down, journaling, writing things down, thinking about the day, thinking about the week, thinking about the lesson, thinking about the month, like whatever that might be. But like taking that time as well to really consider what you're doing, what you've learned, where you want to focus and grow. I think that also is a big
part of those moments. And taking the time so to your point, like outside of the team part of like stopping to take the time to recognize the moment as a team, I think, as the individual and as a person. I think those are also those moments where you know you can feel really good about your progress and the
work that you're doing and thinking through it. And I think too, like there's been a lot more moments in my life where I'm mid conversation, I'm sharing something with an individual or a team about a subject or about an opinion, and I'm just like where.
Did that come from?
Like like like how do you know what I mean? Like like like I I'm saying something that I may have said in my head. I'm saying something that I know to be true, but I've never put it together in a way that is as maybe as clear or as as as inspirational or as impactful as that moment.
And I really take the time to write those things down, Like it's one of the things that I've really done, is like wow, Like when I when I have that moment where like I hear my own voice in my head while I'm talking, and I'm like, oh wow, this this is something that like just saying it out loud is really resonating. I need to write that down to be able to go back and reflect upon that, like what got me there? What were the things that I
was thinking of? And then like how do I take that idea or that phrase or that thing, and how do I build upon that? And so like what I can tell you now is like those exact things are what inform almost every one of the newsletters that I write every week is the idea like that that thing that I was talking about, that idea that I had.
I can tell you what the next two or three are going to be because I've typed them up on my phone as a note real quick to say, this is something I want to go deeper into and that allows me to better myself. But it's also like self recognition for the moment of growth and understanding and kind of you know, creating your perspectives in real time, which
I think sometimes we don't do enough of. We gain our perspectives, we repeat what our leaders and our mentors say, we kind of add our little own spin to it. But when it comes to these actual like unlocks, I think it's super helpful. And then typically what en is up happening is it leads me down the path and say, okay, well, like what are the content is out there?
What other authors?
Podcast head talks shows what are other people that have talked about this subject? Because I don't have the ego to believe that I just created this amazing thing, like there are other people that have talked about these things, but let me go, let me go spend some time like now learning and reading about how others have approached this or talked about it. And I might say, oh man, this is exactly what I was saying out like okay,
so like this definitely exists. Or I might say, oh well, my take on this is slightly different, but like, how can I kind of gather these thoughts together to have an even more specific point of view that I want to share with people?
Right? So a great example of that is the you know we We've had the author of Steven Shallezzki on the show. He has the you know, the book Speak Up Culture, and this fantastic book, and his kind of model around this is for an employee to speak up, the environment has to be both safe and worth it. And he put it on paper and and he put it in a book, and and God love him for it,
like it's great. A long time ago I had a conversation with somebody about speaking up and saying something and telling them, hey, you should say something, and their their response was why nothing's nothing's gonna change, And like, well, are you afraid of saying something someone's gonna retaliate against you or that you're not gonna be Like, uh no, not really, I don't really care, but I don't think so I just don't think that's I don't think what's
the point, you know? And then and and it was in that moment that I thought to myself, Okay, so so for for a person to kind of rock the boat a little bit or to say something that that that needs to be said. It's not just about whether or not they have a fear of doing it. They have to believe something's actually gonna change. And I remember, and I've had that that thought in my own head for years and never never put it down on paper.
And and Steven Schleski wrote a book about it, like it has to be you know, safe and worth it. And so it's these these unlocks are a really big thing. You're so right, because uh if in the in the moment the first time I thought that, did I did I think this is profound? No? I didn't think it was profound. I thought it was just, you know, that's just everybody probably thinks that way, right, Like so I kind of devalue the thought process on my own head
thinking that's not a big deal. I'm guess that that's common knowledge. Maybe it's not common knowledge. A lot of these things are are when you when you feel this kind of unlock moment, it might be a good thing to do to kind of explore a little bit about how how common a thought is this uh in in
the world as a whole. Uh and how many people out there maybe need to hear it because these are these are the kind of things that can really allow you to enjoy the process, especially if you're trying to grow as a leader, If you're trying to learn and grow as a leader and become a better leader. These unlocks that you can use to help others get out of ruts that they're experiencing or help them grow to
the next level. You know, those unlocks are. They become tools in your tool belt that then allow you to look at what the true kind of the joy around leading people is watching them accomplish things. Then maybe they didn't think they could accomplish it first, but maybe you knew that they could, and watch them actually do it. These are the tools that can help make that happen. And so I think they're very very important to document and to think about and reflect on.
Absolutely. And with that it brings us to this episode's one minute hack. But first a few words from our sponsors.
All right, for this episode one minute hack, here's what I want you to do. The last words in this article around the concept of appreciating the moment. It says the process is a great opportunity to learn and feel gratitude if you allow yourself to experience it. I think those words are profound because I know in my own life when I don't stop and small the roses, so to speak, and when I'm focused on the next thing
to do as opposed to enjoying the process. It's not because I think I'm I'm not allowed to because of outside forces or society or my boss or whoever.
It's because I don't.
Give myself permission to do it because I think in some way that either a it's going to limit my phoneocus on what the next thing is, or hinder that focus or slow down the progress to whatever the ultimate goal is. But the moment you realize that there is no ultimate goal, that the whole thing is just a process and there are you know, there are mile markers
and milestones along the way. There is no endgame, there's just constant growth, then you start to be able to allow yourself the permission to enjoy the moments, because if you don't, then what's the whole thing for Anyway, If there's no endgame, if there's no like final boss that you have to defeat in order to rule the world. You know that doesn't happen. So it's just how do
I get better at my role? How do I enjoy my role more by increasing the number of things in it that I get to do that I get passion from. And if it's leadership, it's seeing the growth happen in your people and allowing yourself to reflect on those things and feel the gratitude that you're able to do it.
If you can start that ball rolling, it becomes something that picks up speed as it goes and it becomes easier to do because you will get a lot of fulfillment around the fact that you did it, especially if you're really bad at it now. So so give yourself permission to allow yourself to experience those moments when they happen and reflect on them, and you'll find you'll get a lot of good from it.
Yeah. You know it's funny is as you were talking through that, I'm gonna do what we talked about earlier, which is I'm going to reference the book that I think encapsulated the idea to the best of its ability, which is which is Infinite Game by Simon Sinek. Yeah, like when I read Infinite Game, exactly what you were saying is like the understanding, and this is what I take from it that like leadership development, your like your development as a leader, is the infinite game. Like it's
it's constant learning, there's constant refining. You're going to You're going to build these pillars of leadership that will always stand tall and they will always be like kind of the foundation of who you are as a leader. And then as you continue your leadership degree and you build on top of those, you realize this is where you can start to get a little bit more ornate and unique in like your style how you do things, and you start to take all these things that that start
to really help you with that level of success. And I think he does a great job of explaining that that, like, once you realize that this is an infinite game, that there is no stopping, there's no like, Okay, I have become the epitome of the perfect leader who has nothing more to learn and makes no bad decisions at all. Then then the book you need to read it is called ego is the Enemy by writing Holiday rights the book you.
Need to read at that point. Right, But but but.
That idea, once you accept that and understand that, I think it just opens you up so much more to saying I'm going to enjoy this journey and I'm going to document my learnings as I go, and I'm going to take my time, and there'll be times when I
have to move quickly. There's a lot going on, but I have to make time to be able to stop and to uh to to to take in where I'm at right now, where I've been, how I'm here, and and that reflection, I think is very powerful in helping you move even faster as you continue your career.
Right and there's plenty of evidence to show that if you're in leadership development, that it is an infinite game.
If you look at you know, if you've been listening to the show.
For years, we did a series on some of the most profound, the kind of the greatest leaders throughout history, and if you look at their leadership styles, they are vastly different because they span over the course of almost one hundred years. And so if you think about what made a leader successful eighty years ago versus what made a leader successful thirty years ago versus what makes a
leader successful today, they are vastly different. And the leaders who are at the top of their game today who really show what it is like to lead people today, they would be chewed up and spit out by the workforce as a whole eighty years ago. Similarly, a leader that was you know, successful eighty years ago trying to kind of like magically appear in today's world and trying to lead people in the same way they people eighty years ago, they'd be fired.
Like it is what it is.
So there is no wrong, there's just what's right for the time and what made you successful at the time. But that is plenty of evidence that it changes, and that the speed of that change is getting more rapid and more rapid and more rapid. And so it used to be that you could have a thirty or forty year leadership career and not change your leadership style. Then it was well, you got to change your leadership style
maybe once in your leadership career. If you're starting out as a leader today, you could have to refine and change your leadership style a dozen times over the course of the next thirty or forty years. If you're at the beginning of your career, it could happen that quickly because what becomes demanded of you by people and what they're looking for in order to decide whether or not to follow you, whether or not to let you guide
them and lead them on their career journey. Those needs and those those kind of requirements, the prerequisites of that those are constantly changing, and they're changing, you know, more quickly today than they were before. And so absolutely continue
learning and enjoy the process. Really focus on making sure that you that you take those wins for what they are and reflect on them and allow yourself to enjoy them and not just not just wait for a promotion or or validation that someone else kind of bestowed upon you as the as the validation.
For that you did something well.
If you're doing things well, you need to be able to you know, kind of bestow that validation upon yourself. But in that reflection process and in the relationships and the network you.
Create, absolutely that what that brings us to the end of this episode, this is Hacking Leadership. I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you all next time.