Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership.
I'm Chris, I'm Lorenzo, and Lorenzo.
On this episode, we're continuing our discussion around the advice that coaches would give to their younger selves if they could go back in time. This is from the Forbes article written by the Coaches Counsel, which are coaches who are actually known in the business for being professional coaches, and this is the advice they would give the younger selves. On the last episode, we talked about the importance of
dreaming bigger. I think it was a great discussion. On this episode, I want to talk about the concept of this too shall pass. And I like this a lot because I think it is I think I don't think anybody listening right now has never heard that term before.
This too shall pass.
Whether or not you put a lot of stake in it can depend on whether or not you're going through something that you really want to pass or not. But I think when it comes to this advice, the most important part of it is that the it applies to both the very positive things in your life as well as the very negative things in your life. It's both and so the you know, kind of keeping perspective on whatever your situation is, it will almost always be temporary.
I think it's a really important piece of advice.
Yeah, I agree. I think sometimes we get caught up in those spaces where it feels like, you know, this is never going to end. It feels like, oh my gosh, I you know, I'm never going to get that next opportunity, or maybe you get a turned down or something and you're like, oh, like that was my only chance. You know, these jobs don't ever open up, and then finally did, and you kind of get in those those modes where you might get stuck a little bit in those in
those spaces. And I think that it's important to you know, over time, as you grow and as you mature, these are things that you start to understand that like, no, so like if you're working hard, you're kind of committed, you're persevering, you're putting your best effort, you're showing up every day, you're learning every day, like you're really applying yourself to be the best version of yourself and to
make sure that you're learning and growing. These opportunities continue to show up, and you know, sometimes they're not the most planned way. You know, many times I think We talked about this, you know, last week in another episode. But like, sometimes things happen when you're in the right mindset and you're focused on doing great work, and it wasn't the plan that you initially had. It's the plan
that you go down. And I think that that's something that, you know, looking back on, everybody is kind of is stuck in that space sometimes, you know, it takes a mentor, it takes someone to kind of slow you down a little bit and to talk through it and to kind of show, you know, maybe share their own testimony, their own story about how they were able to navigate it and figure things out. But I think it's such an
important thing. And I also appreciate that it's like it's not just like when the negative things happen, but also the positive things. You know, you can, you know, you can feel really good about something that's happening and feel like this is it, this is perfect. You know, I'm on this team. This team is amazing, We do great work.
Everything we do seems to win, and then the team changes, uh, And that's kind of how that's supposed to happen, because you know, great teams shouldn't be together for long periods of time, they're supposed to get promoted out, they're supposed to create other responsibilities or you know, get other responsibilities or other opportunities within the organization. Like so it can it can be both sides of the coin on it. But I think it's good to talk.
About, yeah, for sure. I also think that another kind of adage that applies that's really related to it is this concept of you know, when a door closes, typically a window opens. You know, there's this it's this this concept of you know, when you're when you're thinking about this too shall pass and and you're talking about something negative happening in your life. Oftentimes when something negative is going on, it it opens up little windows to what
you're supposed to do next. And and I think it's it's really hard to see the open window when you're focused on the thing that you want to have passed very quickly. But if you can get in the mindset of at least being aware of when they potentially could could happen. I have a very close friend who was was turned down for a promotion just like like you said a minute ago, Lorenzo and the it was a promotion that they assumed they were going to get for more than a year when when the job opened, it
opened someone else got it. And instead of you know, like, well, I'm not saying they never dwelled on it. They did for a few months, but instead of waiting for the next promotion, they actually sort of looking outside the organization to other jobs within the same industry. And looking back now several years later, it was the best decision they made. They left the organization for another one and moved up very quickly, and they're they're far happier now than they
were when they were with the the previous organization. And and and it's because it like they we've had conversations about this where he has said to me, if I had gotten that promotion, I'd still be there. And I'm so much happier where I am now than I was when I was there. And that doesn't mean that everybody should go out and go find new companies. If you're happy where your it's great. But this idea of thinking that things are supposed to happen a certain way, there's
nothing is decided until the moment is decided. Right. All you can do is put your best foot forward and understand that the job interview is every day, not just when you are sitting in front of the people you know asking you questions, but regardless of what the outcome is.
The people who can have the resilience to move on to whatever the next thing is, if we're talking about getting through something negative, and the people who have the humility to understand that when they're on top of the world, they're not going to be on top of the world forever. Those are the people that tend to be the most fulfilled and the happiest throughout their career because they understand
how small a blip on the radar. Pretty much everything that is happening to them is in relation to the you know, the world.
As a whole. Change is the only constant in what I've seen everywhere, and it's actually where you want to be. You want to be in a life and in a profession or with an organization where you constantly feel or see change and you know it. Change is cool when you get to control it, when you're the one in the driver's seat here and like, well, I'm going to make a change, Like you just brought up that example. It made me think about that, Like it feels good
when you make the change. It doesn't feel good when sometimes change happens to you, right, and then you kind of have to make a choice around like, well is this like is this going to be a bad thing? Am I going to be stuck here? Am I going to be able to move past this? Or am I going to proactively be a part of this change? Am I going to see this as an opportunity to change with what's going on to evolve to take an opportunity?
So I think that it's something that you know, as you were talking through that example, that's really what I kind of hear in this specific topic today, is like that way of accepting change, being able to move with it, and realizing that it's always going to be happening, so that you know, whether it's it's it's good or it's bad or you're indifferent to it, that there's always going to be something tomorrow, the next day, next week, next year that's going to kind of allow you to take
a different route if you want to. And I think that's good. I think I think it's good to be
challenged and pushed. I think that when people kind of you know, get stuck in those spaces, it can it can kind of create complacency, and then you know, when it comes to just you wanted to challenge yourself as a leader in leading people, you start to get a you know, you start to get a little bit of a bad taste in your mouth, or maybe you start to get a little bit like complacent again, or you just you're not pushing yourself to be your best version, which
is which is which then just lows everything else down for sure. For sure.
I saw Adam Grant had a quote on LinkedIn a few months ago, and I'm not going to get it exactly right, but the but the gist of it was something along the lines of people don't fear change. It's always say that people don't like change. It's like, no, people don't dislike change. They fear the potential outcomes of
what's going to happen on the other side of that change. Right, So it's not that the change itself is a problematic, it's they're worried about not being able to control what's on the other side and having their new reality after the change has happened. They're worried about what that looks like in their life. And not only does this apply, you know, thinking about the fact that whatever it is
that will change too eventually. I think the people who are the are the happiest and the most capable of getting through these things are the ones that understand that they have some control to be able to shape their own reality, that they don't have to just let life happen to them, that they can take steps to make sure that it's happening to them and the changes happen
to them in the right way. And that doesn't mean you can control every aspect of it, but you can absolutely control the mindset of going into it and and thinking about, Okay, how do I how do I approach this in in the mindset of saying, let's let's assume
positive intent. Let's assume that there's there could be some good that comes out of this, and try to focus on that and see what what we can kind of bring out of the of the of the cloth here to get a little bit more of the positive out as opposed to just dwelling on whatever you had before but don't have now, or what you thought you were going to have but don't have now, instead of focusing on the stuff that you that you do get that you didn't have before and how to shape that into
something that will be you know, beneficial for you in the long term. And if you can, if you can do that, and I'm not saying it's easy to do, it's it's hard. And and the more the the closer you are proximity wise to the change happening or the negative thing happening to you, the harder it is. You have to you have to get through it in your own head first before you can get into the mindset
of being positive about it. So I'm not saying that you know, you've got to do this right away, but the sooner you can do it, the better off you will be. The sooner you can realize that all the something negative that's happening is going to go away eventually, and something positive is happening, it's going to go away eventually.
The sooner you could recognize that and and make sure that you are, you know, thinking about the thinking about how to get past the next thing if it's a positive thing right now, or how to get past this thing if it's a negative thing right now. We talk about organizations who they're they're on top of the world doing whatever it is that they do, and then eventually one day you find out that, like, whatever happened to them,
but they were, they were the biggest thing. You look about things like like Blockbuster and Netflix and their other stories like that. The the idea that that whatever is happening will always happen if it's a positive thing, because nothing will ever change. That's a really naive way to look at it. And if you're not, if you're on top of the world on something and you're not constantly thinking about, all right, what's the next move here? Because
there's no way this is sustainable forever. So I need to make sure I know what is the next step for me or the next step in the line is because when it eventually changes, I don't want to be blindsided by it. I don't want to have to have my whole world thrown into upheaval like Blockbusters was or other companies like that. So yeah, the idea of we're really remembering this when it's positive, I think is sometimes even harder to do than when something negative is happening.
Absolutely, and with that it brings us to this episodes of One Minute Hack. But first a few words from our sponsors.
All right, for this episode of One Minute Hack, here is I want you to do. I want you to get a pen on paper. I want you to write down the last three positive thing and last three negative things that happened to you in your life. That can be small or big, but think about it for a minute and write them down. And then I want you to write down, write down how long it took for those things to not be in the front of your
mind anymore, whether it was positive or negative. And you'll see a pattern here that everyone that you're naming, unless it's happening to you right now or you're going through at this very moment, the things you had to think about in order to put down on the paper, the things you couldn't come up with right away, they've already passed,
the positive and the negative. Either it's from a positive standpoint, it's passed because the novelty has worn off and you're no longer excited about it, even if it's still a position that you're in or a role that you're in, or it's a positive thing that that you was a finite period of time and now you're not doing that role anymore, and you move on to the next thing, and same thing with negative things, the things that you have to think about in order to put down on
that list are already things that you have moved passed through in your own mind, and going through this exercise should help you understand that you know, whatever you're putting on this list has already passed you by, and that means anything that comes at you in the future is also going to pass you by. To the idea of being able to look at everything like this will help you understand that you have the mindset to get through it because you have already done it before, so you'll
be able to do it again. Yeah.
I think it's a great woman in hack and in those moments of even when we think we're past something good or bad, even if we're riding kind of the emotional high of something that's recently happened, and you kind of feel like, oh, I'm good, you know, because I'm good, I don't have to do this, or because this is you know, a great thing has happened to me, I can kind of like I can coast a little bit. Or you're holding on to something that happened where you're
just like you can't move on and you're stuck. I think it's important to think about that reflect on those things and and really consider not only like are you moving past these situations? And if you're not, why are you having a hard time moving past it? Who can you talk to about it? What are the things that you can really do to help yourself to to kind
of move beyond. And again, even if it's the good things, I think that's probably where I'm just thinking to my own head, Like where I probably get caught up sometimes is like you've done some really good work or something that's happened, and like, Yep, that's exactly how I wanted it to play out, or that's exactly like we know why we worked on that strategy, and it's like great, that means we can conquer the world. That means that, like you know, if we got that down, we don't
have to worry about the next one. And then the next one happens, you're like, oh uh oh, Like it didn't go how we wanted it to go right, And it was because there was like this assumption that like because this one was done correctly or that there was some success here, that obviously it would just apply to the next thing. And then you start to realize that like it all requires follow up. It all requires validation.
It all requires to stay kind of committed to making sure that things are happening in the way they're supposed.
To happen right for sure. For sure. This is something that I think a lot of parents deal with when it comes to two kids, because oftentimes the learning curve when when you are young and doing something is really you know, steep and quick, and so you you know, each time that you do something where it be a sport or riding a bike or whatever it is, the second time is far better than the first, The third
time is far better than the second. Like, it takes a while before you stop getting these major wins right in a row, and you can start to think, oh my gosh, every time I do this, I'm just gonna be much better at it than I was the time before. And eventually you plateau when you stop, and then that becomes a a tough lesson that the kid has to learn that. You know, it doesn't mean that every time
you're gonna win. Sometimes you're not gonna win. Sometimes you're not gonna be better at it than you than you were before. And and when it comes to you know, kind of life lessons and the positive just like what
we were talking about. If you if you don't stop to think to yourself that this is just a foregone conclusion, that it will always happen the way that it's always happened, then you're setting yourself up for kind of a big, you know, psychological or emotional blow when it eventually does. And and but it but it is a numbers game. And so the more you do things, hopefully by the time that you are far enough along in your career, you've had enough successes and failures to where you've gotten
through them and then everything's fine. It's like the there's the old movie trope of a of a person who works for the same job from the time they, you know, go to college to the time they're in their fifties and they get laid off and they have they have nothing else to do, and they have no no, no job defined, and they can't they have no network they've made over their years because they've only worked at the same job the entire time. It's like, that's a very
real thing for some people. And the way to not have that happen is to make sure that you are growing your network and you're changing organizations and you are putting yourself in positions where you have the strength of mindset that can only be built by going through something over and over and over again, both positive and negative, so that you understand A you have the ability to get through it, and B you have the network to
help you get through it. And if you have those two things combined, this too Shall Pass can ring really strong. If you don't have those two things, this too Shall Pass can sound like bad advice from someone who doesn't understand what you're going through. And so, but a lot of it is really up to you to control and to put yourself in the position to make.
Happen absolutely and with that it brings us to the end of this episode. This is hacking your leadership. I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you all next time.