Welcome back in Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo and Lorenzo.
On this episode, we're continuing our discussion on pieces of advice that coaches would give their younger selves from the Forbes article of the of the same title. We've been doing this for a few weeks now, and a lot of this advice is is really good advice if you're trying to get better at coaching or trying to make sure you're more effective coach.
We all know the importance.
Of great coaching and how that's kind of being elevated with regard to how it impacts a person's ability to lead and their and their quality of leadership. On last week's episode, we had a great discussion on getting a mentor and being vulnerable about it. If you haven't listened to that when yet, go back and do so. On
this episode, we're gonna talk about a couple more. The first one is around following your passion and I like this one, but I want to caveat it a little bit because the verbiage in the article it's it sounds great, and I love the way it sounds, but it's in.
A real world. It's not perfect.
The way it is, I think I think there's a lot that there's more to it that can be impact. It talks about how finding true fulfillment is around being yourself and that you shouldn't look for alignment or agreement with others. And I don't necessarily know that's the case.
I mean, we hear, we hear from people you know in the you know, in the news, or in pop culture all the time that talked about how I wanted to I've been wanting to do this since I was ten years old, and and everybody told me I was crazy, and I wanted to push forward and do it anyway.
And those stories sound amazing and they sound great.
The goal, I think is to have the right people around you, so that if someone is telling you that you are crazy for doing this or that you shouldn't be there, that you have the ability to know the difference between a person who is doing that because they don't care about you and they just don't want to see you succeed, or a person who genuinely has your best interests at heart.
But in the context of assuming.
That you have people around you that that have your best interests at heart, then you do want to look for alignment with some people. Sometimes you don't necessarily want to just push everybody away and and steamroll ahead into
whatever it is that you want to do. But in the in the in the instances where you don't have that, where the naysayers are not people who are close to you, they're not people have your best interests at heart, it is one hundred percent, very very good advice to say ignore those people and don't look for alignment with them.
So it's I think it's the the caveat here is making sure that that you know the difference and and that that the alignment you're seeking is from people who value the relationship and value you and not just looking at for themselves.
Yeah, I agree with that.
I think it's you know, whenever I see language like always and never, it always kind of teaks me a
little bit. Yeah, you know, but I think at the at the core of this and when you think about like following your passions and your intuition, I do think that's really really important when it comes to, you know, to the way in which you approach in this context of on like coaching people and working with people, because I think that you know, I hear myself often say things like, you need to trust your intuition to remember
what got you to this point. You have to know that like the things that you've had to lean into to make, you know, really good decisions to get to this point are the things that will help you continue on. And so you've you've got to feel comfortable knowing that that there is something unique about the way in which you lead people, the way in which you communicate, the way in which you connect with people, and you should stick to that. You should use that as your superpower.
So that's kind of how I read this. It's kind of like everyone has a unique talent, right, whatever that thing is, whatever that approach is, whatever that way is, that that people know that to be you, that authenticity of who you are and how you do these these things is really really important when you are thinking about building trust and building culture with a team, and people can look and say that's exactly who they are, Like that's who they've always been, and like there are things
that you can learn or sharpen or refine when it comes to communication, when it comes to creating strategies, whatever that might be. But who you are and what you're passionate about and especially in a space of leadership, when you're passionate about people like always make sure that you you keep that forefront and that people know that's exactly what you are passionate about, and that's that's that's a reflection of who you are as a person, right.
But it's important to know to not just convince yourself that that's what you're passionate about, but to put it through tests. Right, So you have to be able to you have to be able to do things to work towards those passions in a way that have the potential of failure. I know a lot of people who talk about how passionate they are about doing something, and they talk about it in this kind of act in the ether, but if you look at their daily actions, they're not
in spirit of that. They're not in spirit of moving towards something like that. And in some cases, actually I think in a lot of cases, I think it's almost a fear of failure. It's like a I don't want to push forward with this because if I fail at doing it, it will be so detrimental to the core of who I am.
Because I've always believed.
For the longest, for as long as I remember that this was my passion. It's like, well, in order to say that you're passionate about something, it only it only works if you're actually doing something towards it. Otherwise you're not really passionate about it. You're passionate maybe about that being part of your brand. You know, you're passionate about saying that you're passionate about it, but are you actually.
Passionate about it?
And if you say that you're passionate about leadership and about leading and coaching others, then you need to leading coach others. You need to get better at doing that and put work into doing it and know that you will fail along the way many times and learn from those failures hopefully.
But that's part of that. The passion is around the journey of getting there and around the process you go through every day.
If the passion is just around, if just kind of around the aggregate of I'm passionate about leading and coaching, then no, you're That means you're just passionate about saying that you're a coach or a leader, or about being identified or recognized or labeled as a coach or a leader. If you're actually passionate about leading people and coaching people, you have to leading coach people. And so I think that there's this this kind of like you know, dichotomy of of the or the two sizes can kind of
butt heads a little bit. So following your passion doesn't mean that you're that you're always going to be great at what it is that you're doing. You can be very passionate about something that you're not great at doing
and then get better at it. But if you're passionate about it, or you say that you are, and you're not practicing it every day, then you are You either aren't good at it at all, or you were, but you will you will stop being good at it because the the thing that you're doing is changing so quickly that you have to you constantly learn and change and growth with it.
Yeah. No, I think it's a great point, and it's something that saying like if you raise your hand to say I want to be a leader of people, then what you are saying is that you want to be responsible for their development, their growth, their success. And that's a very high level of commitment that you are making, right because now all of a sudden, it's not about you.
Right, Well, maybe it is like are you raising your hand to say I want to be a leader of people? Or are you raising your hand to say I want.
To lead people? Right?
Exactly? Like like if your passion is leading people, then you have to lead people. If your passion is getting a title, if your passion is getting a promotion, right like, it's going to be exposed very very quickly because you're not truly and you won't have to right, miserable and getting the next job or the next title isn't really a passion, right you know what I'm saying, Like, that's
not truly a passion. So if you're if you're in that space, then then you really need to pull back and think about what are you really trying to accomplish, you know, in life to a degree around like the passions that you have, Yeah, for sure.
The other the next one in this in this article, I want to go over and I think it relates a little bit to the previous one. The next one is knowing your worth. And you know, when you when we talk about knowing knowing your worth, the first thing I think about is imposter syndrome. And I've I've definitely been in rooms where I didn't perform the way that I should, and I when I look back at it, the only reason why is because I didn't think I inherently had the right to be there.
I didn't.
I didn't think I was worthy of being there, and I kind of subconsciously lived up to that, like I lived up to not being allowed to be there by acting in a way that that validated my own beliefs that I shouldn't have been there. But if I had gone into it differently and believing in myself that I that I do have the right to be there, and that I do I can take a contribution, then I think that's also something that we have a tendency to
rise to the to the occasion of. So if you whether it's one of those whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right that this is where that comes in. If you think that you do have a right to be somewhere, and if you feel like and you do believe in yourself and you are worth this process, then you are far more likely to live up to that. And it takes passion around something
to be able to get through that. If you don't feel like you have the right to be someplace and you don't care about it anyway, Good luck.
Getting out of that one.
Like there's you don't even have the will to be there to begin with, let alone whether or not you think you should be. But in order to get through the potential imposter syndrome or having difficulty knowing you're worth, it has to at the very least be around something you're passionate about doing so you can push through it.
Because it's it's not a.
Problem that it's there. It's a problem if you can't push through it. In fact, if it's there, it might it can be a good thing. It could be a good check and balance on yourself to where you can start thinking about do I have the right to be here? And it's not just because you need to be able to recognize when you do. Doesn't mean you should stop asking the question, because in some situations you very well
may not have a right to be somewhere right. So, so knowing your worth and being able to ask those questions of yourself and get the right answers, get the self aware answers, it requires passion around that thing so that you can you make sure you're being honest with yourself.
Yeah, and I.
Think too, you know, it's knowing your worth and then feeling worthy, right, are kind of two different things. I agree. You know, it speaks about this in the article a little bit as well. But like the importance of having people in your life that view you as worthy and help you feel like you're bringing value and that you have worth.
I think it's really really critical.
It kind of ties back to, you know, a previous episode when we talked about the importance of like having a mentor to coach, but having those people in your life that that help to you know, that help to say, hey, no, no, you're making the right decisions here right, Like, like I see and I understand, and I have a belief in you that I know that you're fully worthy of being here, that I know that you are fully capable of delivering on what you're working on, that I know that you're
going to be a tremendous leader. Like, those types of things are super duper important when it comes to you know, sometimes we all need that validation. Sometimes we need that person. Sometimes we get caught up in our own heads when you have a big passion for something and maybe it's not going the way you want it to go, or it's not moving as fast as you wanted to move, or you're running into.
A bunch of hurdles.
You know, it's human nature to kind of, you know, kind of question yourself and think about it and be like, am I capable of doing this? Is this?
Like?
Is this really?
Like?
Is this something that I should be able to accomplish? And having people that see you and value you and help you to remember that you're doing some great work even if it doesn't feel like you're having the outcomes that you want. I think is a really really important piece of that. So I think, like, besides besides believing in yourself, besides feeling.
Like you're you're you're you're worthy.
Having people surround you that that that provides you with some of that kind of filling your bucket from time to time I think is really really important.
I agree with that. I want to caveat it with something though, I want.
I want to say that, yes, that that is important, but it has to be something that they can root in reality, like actual examples of why you are worthy, uh, and that this is this the whole, Like, you know what, what's more important self esteem or doing the things needed to get self esteem right. If if the importance is just knowing you're worthy, you can surround yourself with people all the time who will say you're good enough, you're smart enough, and dog on it, people like you.
But but that.
Doesn't that that only works if someone is you know, uh, is kind of just inherently down for the moment and they need to be.
Kind of picked up a little bit.
If you're talking about whether or not a person has the ability to do a job and to do it well, or whether they're prepared for another role or a promotion or a stretch assignment or something like that, that knowing they're worthy of that that will never happen for them just by you saying you're good enough, go for it, you should do it. You need to root those words in actual real world experience.
That that is leading you to believe that they are worthy of it.
And so a great example of this, you know, there was a role that that was suggested to me in an organization to reach out for and I was talking with a person in my a colleague of mine who's very important to me, and said, this is ridiculous that someone would suggest I do this. Uh, look at the what look at what the requirements of the role are.
You know, this is what they're asking for. I've never done this and this and this and this, And the person I was talking to she said, of course you've done this and this and this and this and and she phrased it in a way that took the things that I absolutely have done, like the things that I have accomplished and the projects I have managed to completion and the work that I.
Have done, and said, well, you've done this. What's the difference in this in this? Like what's what do you?
You say you've ever done this before, but I'm saying you have You've done it in this way. And the tie in there was like, oh, like I the way I was reading this to me says that I don't have the experience to do this thing. And she was able to articulate it in a way that said, no, you do have it. You just aren't looking at the work that you've done in the right way, but you do have that work. And because it was grounded in actual real things that I know got done, it just
kind of flipped my perspective on that interaction. That's what is needed, so it's not just you're good enough, you should do this. It's here's why, here's what you've done and why you've accomplished this, and now this is why I believe that that you have the ability to do that same thing.
Absolutely, that's a great point. And with that it brings us to this episodes one Minute Hack. But first a few words from our sponsors.
All right, for this episode one minute Hackers wanted you to do.
If you're listening to this show, we have to start with the assumption that you are passionate about being a better leader and being a better coach for people. So the first thing you need to do is write down why why are you passionate about doing this. Obviously, if the answer is because you want the title and you
want more money, then you should probably rethink things. But once you've written down the reasons why you're passionate about leading coaching others, and no one can give that to you, you have to kind of figure that out on your own, do some soul searching around that, and write down those reasons. Those reasons are needed to remind you why you're doing the thing that you're doing that you're not doing it so that you can coach people. You're not doing it
so that you can lead people. You're doing it for something else. What is that reason and why? And the next thing you need to do is surround yourself with people who value.
Those exact same things.
Not people who also value leadership or can lead, Not people who also value coaching or can coach, but people who value the things that you articulated as the reasons
why you are passionate about leading coaching people. Those are the people who will inherently see the things that you do and can validate your worth and help you get through the times when you think you can't get something done or that you shouldn't be in the room, because if the people you surround yourself with don't share those values with you, they're not on the lookout for them to begin with. Whereas that the people who do share those values with you, they don't even need to be
on the lookout for them. Their feelers are out all the time for them. They inherently see them in action and feel them coming from you in your interactions anyway, And they want you to do much thinking to come up with reasons why you should be somewhere or why you shouldn't. You know, that you're worthy to be in a role that you're in or taking on an assignment.
So so know those passions, why you want to be there, what the values are behind them, and then and then make sure as many people are around you as possible who share those exact same things. Yeah.
No, I think it's a great hack.
And again it's.
How you clearly understand what it is that you enjoy about the world, that you want to do and why you're so drawn to the work. I think is such an important piece in the context of leadership, and then finding people to your point that align with that, finding people that also see leadership and see the role and see the things that you're doing as something that relates
to them as well. It makes the experience so much better and it makes the ability to work through the difficulties a lot smoother, because there's going to be difficulties, there's going to be hurdles, there's going to be things that you have to learn through experience, there's going to be mistakes that you make, and being clear about why you have a passion for what you do that's going to be a part of helping you to work through them.
And then having those around you that see your value, that see your worth, and that are aligned with those passions is really kind of the thing that helps to break through it very very quickly and move on so that you can learn quickly and then adapt and then be able to continue to be a better leader.
Right, and if the people who you've done a good job surrounding yourself with who share the same values as you and you have that trusting relationship, if they are telling you maybe this is not right for you yet, maybe you should be thinking about doing other things first, or you should kind of work on this before you reach out or raise your hand and say you want to do this, then maybe you should listen to them.
But again, the whether or not you are able to take their advice in a way that is, whether you should follow their advice, it depends wholly on whether they're giving that advice because they genuinely want you to succeed, or if they are just kind of, you know, looking out for their own best interests or what would serve them well based on the role that you that you are in, and so the being able to trust that's happening is a very important thing and the best way to be able to do that is to do it
for them to so that the relationships have to be reciprocal. And so if you're asking people to help validate your worth, you need to validate theirs too. So those are the relationships that you'll carry with you through your entire career.
Absolutely and with that it brings us to the end of this episode. This is hacking your leadership.
I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you all next time.