Hey, this is Chris with Hacking your Leadership. On today's discussion on employee engagement. I want to talk about the importance of the words that we use and the things that we say, and how words matter. An example I'm going to give of this is that maybe about two or three years ago, I started to hear a change in what people say when it comes to you doing something nice for them. Someone said to me, I appreciate you after I had done something for them, as opposed to you know, thank you
or I appreciate it. And it kind of like took me, took me back for a second, and I started thinking, that's interesting, Like my go to would have been to say thanks, I appreciate it, or you know, thank you very much, and then them saying I appreciate you.
It hit differently, and I mostly had differently because I hadn't heard it before, and I've heard it a lot more over the last couple of years, and it started to make me think about the importance of what words mean and the things that we say that can imply or say one thing when there might be something better to say instead, and and how these things can impact positively
or negatively employ engagement. Because they absolutely do. How how you talk to your people absolutely impacts their level of engagement, and the things that you say will will engage them or disengage them for the moment, or for the hour
or for the day. Yeah, I think words are so important, and I love that we're having this conversation because I think that there are there's terminology that I found myself repeating because I I remember how it felt when I first heard it from a leader, and I was like that, you know what I'm saying, So like that that made me feel like, okay, like like this, this this feels right, and it makes me feel inspired and motivated, and so I will tend to use some of that same language.
And then the funny part is that then I've heard leaders that have worked for me that have now kind of become their own, independ leaders of their own teams. I've heard them say the things that I've said, you know, So it's kind of like this this this element of the importance of language and how we talk to teams and what we thank them for. And you know, I was having a conversation just the other day with someone who was you know, kind of like you know, providing me with some insight on something
that it needs to get better. And they were just like, you know, hey, like I I like to, you know, I just want to share something with you, and like my style is like I like to just tell you kind of like how it how it is, and how I feel and what I see and what I think. And I hope that works for you. And I'm like, of course it does. Like I appreciate that you know that that approach because that's how I am. And and that's helpful for me when when you can kind of cut to the point in time
me exactly what you're thinking. And then we had this great conversation and and and I thank the person, and you know, I say, I really appreciate you doing this because it takes it takes all of us to build the culture that we want to have together. But we have to be comfortable sharing the things that may be holding us back. And and like we we that has to be something that we can all do. We have to do it in a respectful way. We have to do it in a way that makes
sense. And I was like, but I appreciate you telling me these things. And then kind of what I've been sharing a lot with people now is like, and so I need you to hold me accountable me personally because a part of my job of being a leader is making sure that these things change, get better, get addressed over time. So I'm going to come back in a couple of weeks and we're going to have another conversation. I'm gonna ask you how am I doing? How am I doing with this? Have
you felt the impact yet? Yes or no? And I expect you to tell me has it changed, because I need to know that so that I can make sure that I'm holding myself accountable to do my job, even though what you're sharing with me is actually something that like, I'm not directly responsible for myself, like I'm not doing the thing right wrong, or in different that's causing you to feel this way, But I'm responsible for the leaders that
do. And so I think that like having really clear dialogue, having phrases that you use, having things that become a part of your normal conversation,
I think is really important. No, iletely agree with that. Something you said there made me think of something that that's really important around the concept of when when you're a leader, sometimes something can be not your fault, but still your responsibility, and it's something I'm trying to teach my kids right now, and I want to kind of put a pin in that, for lack of a better word, for another episode, because think it's really important as
a leader to understand how you can have a responsibility to fix something even if it wasn't your fault. But I want to go over some of the things that I think good leaders say when it comes to increasing employee engagement. There are places where this is done better than others. There are leaders who do this better than the leaders. So I want to go over a few of those things that they say. But first I want to give up toward one
of our sponsors. All Right, if you're a leader of people and you're trying to increase the level of engagement with your team, some things that you should try to make more a part of your vernacular. And some of them might be things that you say a version of already or or already say these things, but consider the way that they're being said and how little changes in the words or the way that you say them can impact the team positively or
negatively, and impact the engagement of your people positively or negatively. Uh you know a lot of these things are are inquisitive. They're questions things like what do you need to be successful? You know, if what you're saying is as a leader, it's my job to hold you accountable. But it's also my job to make sure that I'm pulling out all the roadblocks that you might be having so that you can focus on getting this done in a way that
will make you successful. You know, the what challenges are you are you facing? How are you really doing? You know, how are you really doing? Implies you care about them as a person, not just as an employer, what they can do for the business. You know, how can I support your growth? These are things that you can ask when you're talking
about the future, not just what have you done for me lately? But I know this is this relationship is reciprocal, and I have a responsibility to make sure that you get out of this more than just a paycheck, a way to grow and a way to move forward if that's what you want. These are these are things that you should be saying to your people. And again, you might have versions of these that you think are the exact same thing, but they might come off differently depending on how they're worded, So
really think about your words and how and how the right words matter. Yeah, I think it's a I think it's even beyond how you think about them. But I would even implore every leader to say, like, what what are those phrases in those words? What are the things that are going to define your leadership? You know? I would for a long time, I would say, you know, as leaders, you work for your people, like like my my, I actually work for you, like I work to
make sure that you have what you need to be successful. Like part of my role is making sure I understand the things that are are helpful to you being successful, to understand the things that may be becoming roadblocks. But also a part of my role and working for you is making sure that I hold you accountable to the things that you committed to doing, and vice versa. So I would say the term like like, you know, leaders are like
I work for you. Now. Over time, though, if people only can the catchphrase without kind of the context, right, you may lose all of the other sub elements of what that actually means. But that was one of those phrases that I would say over and over again, is that leaders work for their people, and that was a way of changing what I think over time people felt, which was that like leaders weren't there to kind of support them, they were there to direct them and tell them what to do.
So now I've changed some of that to say, like, hey, so if you raise your hand to be a leader, that means you're taking the responsibility of making sure your people are getting better at what they do. That you want to be held accountable for the development of your people. So I've changed some of that because I want to make sure that my words are clear, but that if it becomes if somebody wants to repeat it, that they repeat it in a way that gives enough context the people that understand what
does that actually mean? Right. It's like when you see a politician or a celebrity and they have an interview, and if you watch the whole interview, you get one thing out of it. But if you watch the clip that gets reposted on social media of one thing that they said, you can take something totally different from it, or you can knocket the full story.
And because the sensationalism and the expediency that we're prone to as human beings, that favors the sound bite that favors people gravitating towards Oh, you work for your people. I guess that means that they tell you what to do. It's like, no, that's not what I meant, and that's not what I said, but that's what sounds good in the moment and what people retain,
And so you're right. It's very important to think about the things that you say, not just from a standpoint of how they can be interpreted, but from a standpoint of, Hey, it's very possible that this could get repeated without the benefit of the context of the stories that go along with it that I know in my head, But the person who's hearing it may not know in their head, and they can think something totally differferently about it.
The other thing that I think is important too, is that when it comes to, you know, asking questions of your people and trying to support them, the right question matters, and the wrong question will hurt the relationship. I'll give an example. Let's say that you have an employee who has a habit of coming to work late. They get they get to work late often, and you you want that to stop, you know, saying to them, hey, you know what challenges are you facing that? That comes off
condescendingly. But asking a question more like, hey, tell me how you're really doing that comes off a little bit better because it's it. You don't want to say, hey, how can I help you get to work on time? Because that's not what it is. They're not five years old. We're talking about adults here. It's there's something deeper than what's going on that is making them not get to work on time, especially if it's a sudden
change. So how are you really doing trying to kind of explore deeper than what the surface problem is to figure out how you can support them better. That is the right way of doing it. Don't try to solve the problem
that's actually happening. Figure out what's the underlying issue. And this is where the words matter, is not just trying to look at what the surface is, but what's underlying, and how to meet your people where they are in a way that says that you value their autonomy and that you have faith in them and you trust them, but most importantly, you want them to succeed. And if you think about it from that standpoint, I want this person
to succeed, and I want the relationship to be strong. That should guide the verbiage you use when talking to them and the questions that you're asking. Yeah, that's great, and I think it underlines another point that I've been talking about recently, which is not just the power of active listening, but the power of active questioning. To your point, like, what questions are you asking in? Do you understand the context of the question, the preface
of the question, what are you saying within the question? When do you ask the question? Like you know, like these things matter a lot when you are when you have people kind of like taking in information or wanting to share with you, or how they feel about the questions that you're asking. So I think it's such an important point, and it's something that I think we'll probably spend more time talking about in future episodes, for sure, I
agree. And then the last thing I want to say is that sometimes the most important thing you can say to build strong teams is just thanking someone. You know, we talk about the different ways we can say thank you, I appreciate you, or I appreciate it, but sometimes just simply saying thank you is an often overlooked thing that a lot of leaders don't do as often
as they should. They say it for the big things, but sometimes on the daily things that are the kind of costant admission things they might be less likely to say it. Thank you again all for joining us on this episode. We'll see next Thursday for the next one. Have a great day.