Episode 537: Patti Stanger: Why Modern Dating Is Broken, Red Flags, and the Commitment Crisis

It's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Habits. Today's guest is the unapologetic, straight-talking queen of matchmaking, Patty Stanger. You probably know her as the star and creator of the hit Bravo show The Millionaire Matchmaker. where she spent over a decade helping some of the world's most successful and often most difficult singles find love.

Patty built an empire by telling people the truth they didn't always want to hear about dating, relationships, and what actually what it take to attract the right partner. She's matched hundreds of couples, written best selling books, launched her own dating platform, and became the most recognizable voice in modern matchmaking. Today we're talking about the psychology of attraction, the biggest mistakes high achievers make in relationships.

And why finding love might be a lot more about who you are than who you meet. So let's get into it. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to thank our sponsor, Momentous. When your goal is health span, living better and longer, there are very few non-negotiable. One of them, quality. And when it comes to supplements designed for high performers, nobody does it better than Momento.

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You guys, let me just say who I have because I haven't even said it yet. So I had Patty Stanger who is the OG of matchmaking. Correct. My favorite of fate like to me, no one will ever come close to you because you're no, because number one, you're so Uh your personality? You're you have like such a captivating personality. You're do say what's on your mind. You're you're such a good

TV personality. Thank you. I appreciate it. Well, thank you for having me here. Oh my god, I'm so happy. If you want to know this, her house is beautiful. The pool in the back is is selling me right now. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. So yeah, so hold on a minute. So you

Okay, I I you just you started telling me a story and I stopped you. What were you saying? Oh, Emily sex with Emily is a really good friend of mine and yours. This is how we met. Right. And I introduced her to well, actually, she became friends with me because my date coach dated her. And he wasn't a date coach. I created him. And he became this like phenomena. Although I did he did do something really bad. There was an article written about me and Marie Claire and that became hit.

Can you know how to do that? So he they called him up and said, Can you give us all information about Patty? And he kinda like thought they were gonna pay him and get a credit and he didn't get a contract, he was dumb. And they sol sold me out. And I think it was originally a woman hitch and then the Will Smith got it and created it, you know.

So was it really based on your life? Well yeah, it was the article in Marie Claire. So yeah. Because now I'm sure they're gonna say that they got stuff from every else, but there was nobody else doing but like makeovers and Silicon Valley Nerds and Teaching him how to talk and that was me. I'm sorry. There was nobody else that did that. A hundred percent. So people don't know. So she had the show called Millionaire Matchmaker. How many years ago was that show?

Um, I don't even know. It's on Netflix now, though. It's on Netflix. I know. It's on three seasons on Netflix. Are you getting a whole resurgence in popularity? From the kids. Well, it's really cute'cause you'll go to the mall and a mom and a daughter, you know, will walk down the mall and the girl's like fourteen. She's like, Oh my god, my mom made me walk your show and I'm like and the mom will walk over and she goes, No sex before Monagami.

Because they don't want the girls to get like pregnant or SDDs or you know, like they don't want their heart broken on a tech. And so they'll start watching my rules and then I'll get DMs from them. Little kids. Today I had the coolest w DM today. So there're a lot of young influencers I watch, especially fashion ones in New York. And Victoria Heigel is one of my favorites. She's the personal assistant on the go.

We've never met her boss though. I'm done and she wrote me back and she said to me, Patty, I love your show. I love watching you. Would you help me? You know, kinda break into Hollywood and give me advice and I'm gonna mentor her. And I thought that was so cute. That is so cute. Are you by the way, when are you gonna be back on TV? Are you gonna be working on something right now, hopefully?

with a network that hopefully like I was on CW about two years ago and the network was going into the sports arena. I did really well in the network. We we hit the demos. Everything was great. And then and Nick Heil was my co-host on it. No, I mean sorry, Nick Vile was my co-host on it. I don't know who that is. I saw you had video. Nick you know Nick Vile? He's like from the bathroom.

Bachelor. You gotta keep up. No, I know. He's from The Bachelor. The the kids will know. Yeah. And so but he's going in it he's going on another show. And anyway, it was really great, but it was the wrong network. I love CW. Always have. Wrong network for us'cause it's more sports now. And they're going in a men's direction.'Cause they're guys from Dallas who own this, you know, they're like sports guys. And so I need to go back to my roots. And we're trying to work with, you know.

Maybe NBC Universal. the way the format was back then, it worked really well. It's I would think it would work now. I'd be scared to well we can't yell and scream. And I can't you know like Trisha Paytas, I said something like lose weight and change your clothes and She's now this big star and her people start coming for me because I gave advice. But you have to understand the advice I gave. I gave advice that if you came in and go, I want a millionaire, male, female, gay, straight.

I'm telling you what the millionaire's thinking. So if I make you straighten your hair, it's because millionaires were not attracted at that time to curly hair. It wasn't in style.

So I'm giving you the layout. I'm not saying you need to lose weight for me. I'm saying that's what the millionaire was thinking. Well you know it's funny, right? Because you were just being honest. Yeah. And New York style. New York sty but I think it should be everywhere, personally. Straight straight shooting. And the truth is, what you actually said or what is actually true, now it's become like

We're not allowed to say anything. Exactly. No, we're have to be nicey nice and i you know, but then the kids aren't leaving home. They're living in the basements, they're waiting for their parents to die so they can take over and herit and they don't have hustle. None. You know, and that's what your show's about. Like there's no there's no hustle. So wait, so if you expect a free ride, okay, that's not a

Attractive. No. That's not ex sexy. That's doesn't have je ne sais quoi to it, so I can't help you. A hundred percent. How how would you say, I guess this is my first question, how would you say the dating landscape has even ch like changed from when you started? Mm-hmm.

To how it is now in twenty twenty six Well, the technology has changed it, but not the biology. Even though Uh we we believe in the wellness community, and I'm sure you're gonna believe what I'm gonna say, that men have become feminine energy females. Because the plastic and the water, especially the water they guzzle at the gym, disrupts their hormones.

And they don't have that rugged, I'm gonna chop wood, the aliens are invading, let me get you out. They don't have or let me take care of you. Let me pay for dinner. Yeah. Huh? Pay for dinner. Instead of going fifty-fifty. Or even you pay because you make more money. So They don't have that that strong rugged veneer and we believe that the plastic has disrupted the hormones and created less testosterone in the body. And this is why the fertility rate is

Do you really think though that's why men have become more feminine? Well, there's two reasons. One, women became more successful. Even though we don't get equal pay for equal dollar, there are more women in college. But there's more women biologically than there are men. Right. So there's not enough men for the women to go around, you know? Yeah. And that's one thing. Second thing is once you started making money, they got lazy.

Yeah. Like, you made money, you pick up the bill, you you make the reservation. You but we as women were nurturers. We did everything. So can you imagine we did everything for you, we took care of your children, we took care of you, we made the dinner, we cleaned the house, we made the reservations, and then now we're paying? No, no, no. But it's ch I think it's changed where there's m there's more women are become more masculine in general in their energy.

Right. And men have become more feminine. I don't necessarily think it's because of the microplastics. Oh no, no, no. It is. It is biologically. I have studied this. This is a wellness problem. I have studied this. It is not a hundred percent cause we got successful and we had to take care of ourselves. We were in survival. We had no choice. If the man didn't step up in our late 20s and thirties to marry us and take care of us and say, I'm buying you a house, we're doing this or that.

We had to survive. There was nobody paying our bills. We were not a generation, especially you and I and Emily. We are not a generation of our parents taking care of us. So we didn't have what these kids have. Right. Where everybody gets a trophy and everybody gets to survive. We were like kicked you they kicked us out of the house. You get a roommate and

You find an apartment in New York, you get a job, don't call me. That's what we were like. We were not the girls generation of that first episode. That was really funny on the first episode, girls, where the parents are professors and cutting her off. And she's like, what do you mean? They're like, we've been paying you for three years.

We my mother would never my mother's like, I'm sorry, you want that? Go buy it yourself. So that's why. But the other thing with the men and just getting back to your point and then you can I'll finish. The men, okay, have lost their drive.

They're tired. You know, when Wall Street crashed, you never saw so many men crying and then the woman going, Screw you, I'll take your job for half the price. I'll make more money than you and I'll be the leader on Wall Street. And that's what happened in the in the banking crisis.

Like nobody realized that. So women became like resilient. Wonder Woman and men resented it. That's why they date a woman lesser value than you. They might a young girl who's naive and doesn't know how the world works, but she's pretty. And that's why a Brad Pick goes for a thirty year old girl. Because What's the other thing? Angelina.

challenged him, you know, and she didn't take crap. She left him. Most women who are taking crap right now, they have to look at themselves and go, where does that come from? Because why do you need him so badly that you would take the crap? Right. So it's either financially I need them to pay the bills, or B, I'm codependent and that's all I know because my mom was like that, my grandmother's like that.

So w would you okay that's a good segue into the age gap situation right now? Correct. So there don't you think there is a double standard between men dating young and women dating young? Absolutely. But it doesn't work in the reverse. It really doesn't. I mean I I don't wanna lie. There's very few uh ten years, twelve years, okay. You get to twenty f twenty five and a woman dating a gu a guy, you know, I'm fifty, I date a twenty five year old.

I I agree. I like there's no life uh there's nothing t in common. Right. It's just sex. What are you gonna talk about? Not you don't even have the same music taste. But when a man does it, he's he's mentoring, he's nurturing, he's grooming. And then the woman's like and it's and a Birken with that? Okay. You know? Well that's b I think that's become like the trend, right? Like if a man is a little bit successful, they will date much, much younger.

But I feel like But not all men. See my club in Millionaire in Millionaire's Club, my club. We have a lot of women over 50. They're coming in, they're spending the money, and they're like, I need a man equal or better. And I need a man in my age group. You would be surprised how many quality men are showing up. They're not on the apps. These are non men these are gems that my recruiters and my staff find.

And they're like, I've tried the apps, I've deadied younger girls and I hate it. I want someone my own age. I want to grow old with my best friend. Right. Best friends that I can have sex with. Because you know, I would I would also think that it's been a reversal, right? It used to be in these Matt in like these dating situations. They would search out women and women don't pay. Now I feel like this but you said there's so many more women who are single than men.

The app's fault. It's it's the way that there's a lot of desperate women. Not not the group that's got worked on themselves, healed themselves, said, Okay, if you treat me badly from the first red flag, I'm not going out with you. You know, like that's it, we're done. I saw the red flag, we're done. Other women will take the red flag, oh he didn't mean it, oh it's just one time. He apologized and those are the codependent people that will go for those men at all costs and shape.

And that's not attraction. A woman is supposed to attract Okay, not Chase. So right. So that's why you don't like the fact that women shouldn't text a man. Mirror what he does. He texts you. You can wait a couple hours to text him back, but mirror what he does. If he ghosts you, ghost and block him. Now here's a reason why. Because he's basically testing you how much abuse.

Can I give this woman? And you were not the top of the of the totem pole. You're not the one on the top of the roster. He's got other things going. W men are dating multiple women. Get it through your head. And they're picking the one that has self respect and love for themselves. Those are the ones they're paying

They're not picking the girl down on her luck. Now, could they pick someone at a lesser value? Like I don't make as much money. I make a hundred grand, you make a million a year. Absolutely. Cause that makes him feel good and in power. Powerful, yeah. Right.

You shouldn't demean yourself because you got successful. Like these I'm watching all these dating experts on Instagram. You know, the you know, the whole age of feminine is dead and we're being blamed like Vance did, you know. Vance blamed single women. For being successful and not being married. Well, we'd all get married if the men would step up. I want to tell Vance, message understood, but message wrong. It's the men. Men are the leaders. Men are the ones that go out and hunt.

We're supposed to sit here, look pretty, smell good, and smile and wait for him to come to us to receive us, and then we decide what the best offer is for us. That's what it's supposed to be like. Well well that's why my f my initial point was I just don't I've noticed that there are not that many alpha men as there used to be.

Especially in California. Especially in California. LA, do not come here if you want an alpha man. And I warn you now. Stay away. Okay. Not Orange County, not even San Diego. You're not gonna find an and silicon. Ho ho. Their hair down to their ankles living in their houses. It's really uh so where do people find alpha men? Alpha men usually are on the east coast, especially the south and the north.

Like where? Give us Midwest men too. I would give Midwest too. Midwest and East Coast. Those are them. You gotta go around the perimeter. And Texas. might have alpha but they're subsections of Texas, like Houston and Dallas. You wanna get more into the country. Okay, so that's that's okay, so ladies, listen up. Okay, and now how about this?'Cause I w we were we were saying something earlier as well, because I don't want to lose mu the track. But you were saying

something about I want to hear about red flags. So what are some what are the top three red flags that people should look for? Okay. The first one is an addiction issue. Okay. And there's a lot of them going on there. A lot of drinking, a lot of pretending they don't drink or do drugs. And it's both sides of the aisle. Yeah. But if we're looking at men Men tend to absorb alcohol more than women and can stand and stand. Like g girl goes past two drinks, she's gonna get loose. Okay.

So I would look for addiction issues. How much alcohol is he drinking throughout the night? Is he drinking when he calls you? Like, is he doing drugs? And you want to find those things out. Yeah. Second thing is, is you talk a lot about the

Does he does he pump and dump and then like, oh, it was a terrible divorce, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And the third thing, if you're an older woman, I hate to say this because I've never been married and don't have kids, but I've been engaged and I've raised my ex's kids. When a man doesn't hasn't been married at a certain age at least once and had at least one child, you're in trouble. Right. What age is that? I'll give it to fifty.

Okay, I'll give it to fifty. That's a good thing. I mean, I will say I will be nice because we're living in a delayed adolescent society, you know, but I will give it if a man's fifty and he hasn't had kids and he hasn't like been married at least once Unless there's some tragic story like she died or whatever, I don't want to hear it. Fifty's old. I know. I mean, I originally gave forty five, but now I'm giving fifty.

Wow. I thought you were gonna say forty. Yeah, I'm gonna say generous. Okay, what forty is because they don't a true millionaire doesn't make money until he's forty, so that's when he's on the hunt for the wife. He's making money in his thirties. I mean, we can make money earlier now because of, you know, AI and all the tech stuff.

But um But why can't we get married before that? Statistically has always been by forty. Yeah. But a lot of times people are like making like, you know, kind of like creating like basically creating their career profession while having been married. Yeah.

And then they usually would leave the wife and go to another one. That's a whole other story. She leaves for the secretary. The younger hotter secretary. Right. Like she could never catch him in the acts. But right. But the thing is, like I've never heard as fifty is it it's good it's okay or acceptable because they're getting back because we now know the average median age of marriage is twenty nine. So fertility's down

Sperm count is down. And so what's happening is, and by the way, we found out that the eggs can go on forever and the sperm count is. decreased. It was opposite what the doctors told us about the jeriacchic pregnancy. Wow. Yeah, that that's all been new science. I study alchemy of attraction and science of what's going on in the dating and uh fertility market.

And so this has been a sad story. They they've told us that we had to get our you know, get married, have a baby by thirty five. We were screwed if we didn't. But in the meantime, the marriage count is down. So as far as age goes. So that means that if that's down, they're waiting later to get married and that they could get married by 40. Look at Hollywood.

Well, y I that's And a lot of us have the lot of us we see in Hollywood not married and have a child at a wedd like I know somebody going through something right now where She's uh just implanted embryos and he's he they're engaged, but he won't marry her unless the eggs, okay, are perfect and he wants a biological child.

Really? Yes. I mean that's narcissistic in my eyes, but whatever. Because I'm an adopted child. So I believe you can adopt. There's many different ways you can have children. Surrogacy, there's plenty of different we have a lot of good ways to have kids now. Did you ever want children? Always. Always always. Well, probably from thirty something on, yeah. So what was your path? Like what happened with your life? I picked Bad Men.

You did. Mm-hmm. I picked what my mom picked because I was programmed by my mother. No fault to her. My grandmother and my grandfather had an amazing marriage, so I saw both sides of the street. But I picked bad men. I was very sexually driven. Really? I didn't care about money. I just wanted a hot guy. Until when? Until I realized I was paying the bills and I was exhausted.

Is really? So cause how like I'm never doing that again. I am never doing that again. So what how did you like I'm curious, like what was your evolution? Like how did you become a matchmaker? They all had inheritance though. I have to caveat that. They all had inheritance, but you know we can't if you get married you don't get the inheritance. You know that, right?

So but they all had inheritance coming. It was like money down the line, but they didn't have money right now. And also they didn't make it themselves. So that to me is also not attractive. One of them Yeah, they didn't make it themselves.

One of them was like on the cus but never got there. Okay, so wait a minute. So but how did you become a matchmaker? What were you doing? Oh my grandmother and my mother were matchmakers and and when I was 16 I loved this boy in school. He was like the hottest guy, but a badass. And I I don't want to say his name, but he was Catholic. And so they would go to these Christchurch dances on Friday night, me the Jewish girl, got all my Jewish friends and go, Come on,'cause those were the hot guys.

And we went to school the that day and planned our escape from our parents,'cause God forbid they'd find out. Nice Jewish girl going to work. And I got busted by the priest who was actually hot. And he said to me, Come in the back. And he's smoking a cigarette and he's drinking his wine. He says,

You're not supposed to be here. None of us have Jewish star necklaces or anything like that. But you knew. And he goes, What are you here for? And I said, Well, I like this one boy and he's like, You could do better.

And I had done something really smart. I'd taken the boys on one side and the girls on the other side and I brought them together and they started dancing and talking. He had never seen this at a dance because he could never get them together because they wouldn't listen to him. And he goes I can't believe you did that. And my best friend ended up marrying the guy at at the dance.

They lost touch with each other and then years later they connected and they got married. It was kind of a cute story. And so um I told him I had a crush on this boy and he said, Oh, you could do so much better. He's so bad. He's derelict. He basically was, but a hot derelict. Really like a Brad Pitt legends of the fall der derelict, you know? Wow. Okay. And he was always on my bus and looked like

Stoned out of his mind. And so he said, I'll tell you what, I'll let you come here every Friday if you could get the boys and girls to dance every week. And I did. And that's how you started? That's how I started. But my mother always said I was gonna be a matchmaker. No, she I was like, Never, never. My my mom was married one time, I was born already. And he basically cheated on my mother, very Mrs. Mazel. And my mom left him and she went back to go live with my grandparents.

And my grandmother was like beside Huh, what we say? You c nobody gets divorced. It was like a time when and so my grandmother trained her to meet her. her next husband who ends up raising me and my dad and the phones went off. Like, you know, like everybody was calling my grandmother, fix me up, fix me up, teach me what to do. Because everybody was getting divorced. It was like the seventies and everybody was getting divorced.

And so then the rabbi called my grandmother and said, Come on, I need your help. Like like what are we do'cause all the husbands were leaving. They're wives for younger secretaries. Wow. And so that's how you became a so then how did the show happen? Like the show happened because I worked for Great Expectations and I ran this big company.

Uh it was Nisha. Tell people what it is. It was a first original dating service, like a dating service. It was like MetraCom before MetraCom went online. And I worked How's it work actually? I don't remember it. Go into the office. And you'd pay like five thousand dollars and then you'd swipe through pictures and videos and it was based on mutual consent, kinda like math.

And so and I would tell them, you know, what to do and what not to do and they never listened to me. And when match went up, it was like we should be online. We should be the SOAS of dating before SOAS went up. And they didn't listen to me. So anyway, I worked there and then I was engaged.

And my engagement broke off and I couldn't look at anything in Florida. I was living in Florida. I was like, oh my God, that's where we had dinner. That's where we went swimming. That's the gym we went to. Like I was devastated. So my mom's like, you went to film school. Here's your chance to get to Hollywood and break into the business. So I go, okay, I'm need an adventure and off I flew to California with a dollar in my pocket, knew one person.

And lived in the marina and I my cousin lived here and she was producing movies. She's like, Good luck getting in the business. Now look at me. And so I was always like, Yeah, watch me. I was that girl if you watch me. But I had a friend Who said to I made a new friend and she was doing this millionaire thing with dating and then she's like, oh I could do it better. And she's like, Well don't you're never gonna be able to do it because it's never gonna work.

So I would go to matchmakers that I knew in town because I knew a couple of them and they would fix me up and for every Gentile boy, I'd like Gentiles and I'm as Jewish, and I gave two Jewish boys to them. They'd give me a Gentile date and they sucked it. and all the daters would complain to me that how bad it was. I went on one date with one guy he really liked me and he said, Oh God, you're exactly what I want He was a Mormon. And he was cute, but he wasn't my type emotionally.

So he said, What if I give you money? You could fix me up. Ding ding ding, had credit card debt, needed money to live on. I said, Okay. And my mom's like, charge 10 grand. She gave me the price. I'll never forget that. And I said, what? And so I took him like shopping over Beverly Hills, redid his wardrobe, decorated his house in Hermosa. And he had to truck that he wouldn't give up. And it smelled like fish.

And I kept saying you need you if I don't care if you get an SUV, but you need a nice one, like a Porsche. Took him to the Porsche dealership, he got it. Fixed up with his first girlfriend, turned out to be his wife. Got married, tell ten friends and my business. But the first person I fixed up with Was somebody of Muslim descent, unfortunately. And he met his wife on that first date and canceled the check. And from that moment,

I changed the industry. Nobody takes a check. We all take wire transfers now. Because I changed the entire industry. Because credit cards, you get charged back. And if you give a check, somebody could cancel it. So wire transfer, then you fix em up. Really? I learned the hard way. So how much do you charge? I charge one fifty enough.

1500. And what do you get for 150 K You get unlimited dating based on a period of time that we think is appropriate for you, plus a full service staff. And you get my number, my business partner, Bonnie Winston, who's in New York. Sh we have an office uh down on um Wall Street.

You're getting a nationwide plus Canada and we also do international as well. And how do you find the people? We have our resources. I can't give you my my my recipe, my trade secrets. But I will tell you we have boots on the ground. We have the largest database in the business and everybody knows me. I mean, if I make a text message or a or a VM a DM or someone's responding. Did you know Americans spend an average of ninety percent of their time indoors?

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Are you guys using Instagram to find men? Um men are not on Instagram. We use that for women. Men are in sports networks. Like what? Give me an example. Golf. We're connected to a lot of country clubs, a lot of hotels with concierge, high rollers in Vegas.

Uh we deal with the with the one percenters. Yeah, so we're dealing with ski resorts. We're dealing with with like Saint Bart's, although that was crazy this weekend. Couldn't a lot of people couldn't get out. We deal with high end concierge services such as airports, you know, like Private air airlines. So when you say you deal with, what do you mean? We deal with the people that work with those people. And we deal with people who know people, who know people, who know people, who know people.

Private clubs. There's seventeen million private clubs going up any minute right now, all over the country. And we deal with we know where the men are. Like we know boots on the ground where the men are. So are you finding dates for yourself? I don't date my clientele. I have a rule. So I have a hard time with that. So you have to fix me up. Yeah, I will have And LA's not that easy. I mean we usually take the LA girl and make her go to Arizona.

Really? Arizona is a hub for that. A lot of golfers, lot of retirees, a lot of wealthy men. Yeah, or s or we'll go to Montecito, you know, Santa Barbara. When you say go to, like I think. I don't recommend a woman over fifty dating in LA proper. We might get every so often.

But I will redirect her somewhere else. When you say that, do you want them to move somewhere else? No, the men will come to them. Yeah. But y but no but you say like they should go to. What what do you mean? In other words, like in other words, like I don't mind dating a guy from Scottsdale because I love Sedona and Scottsdale. They meet thrust.

We are we concierge and arrange the day. Got it. Okay, so we We do everything. You don't have to it's basically put your lipstick on and go. That's all it is. And we do everything. Now on the men's side of it. I mean, I just had six different men just joined this today, actually. Like big ones, like some one celebrity you would know. And so I'm doing everything for him. He charged I I I charged him$3.50.

So I'm doing like everything. Like his assistant is licking my ass because she cannot believe that I'm doing everything where she's been doing what I've been doing for years, like, you know, going to a Vegas party and trying to find five girls from him. And I'm like, stop that nonsense. I have to look under the hood of the car. I'm also psychic.

I was born psychic. I read vibration. That's what you saw on the show. I'm like looking at people's energy. I have guides, I talk to them. So I'm looking at a lot of other stuff that. We're not just doing surface stuff because it has to be a match on both sides. So I've got to look at what's his lifestyle like, how does he treat women? Do I have to change some of his behavior? At the same time, can that woman go at his pace?

Like if he's the millionaire and she's gonna drop everything for him, is there a balance or is he gonna use her? Like there's a lot of stuff I look at because I don't want I want the women protected too. And when it comes to the millionaire woman, I'm trying to get equal or better for her. So it's a little different. So for three fifty And I do gay by the way. You do. Yeah, I just don't do trans'cause I don't really know how to do that.

So you do for th so so if so someone's paying you three hundred and fifty thousand dollars, uh what do they get for three fifty? What they don't get for one fifty. They would okay, so one fifty you would get one person below me, a matchmaker that I've trained.

They've been certified by the Matchmakers Institute as well as me. Million we have a millionaire training certification program. We don't just go, hey, I'm a m I'm a matchmaker. There's plenty of those out there. I actually am training them from the ground up.

like as though my grandmother's secret recipe. And then if it's me, you're paying more money to get me because you want me on call, you want to talk to me, you want to vent. I had a guy last week who

fell in love with my first girl I fixed him up with and I said, Don't call it in. Don't make her exclusive just yet. Let's see what else'cause I wanted him to go on two, three more dates. Well he went on a plane and he met someone and he goes, I don't know how to do this. He's like awkward, a little bit on the spectrum, but handsome So I said, I'm gonna tell you what to say and I became Serena and I went in his text.

And I basically did all the things. Yeah. And I he got a date with the girl and he went on two dates and I arranged the third date for him. So I'm concierging inside the service as well, outside the service, because my goal is to get you into the best love relationship of your life. Like if God said to me, what is your one wish? I'd say everyone has their soulmate in humanity. He'd go, but you're out of business. I'd be like, that's okay. That's that's why I'm here on the planet.

And I'm okay with that. I s I work for God. And do you like doing it still? Yes and no. It's difficult. You were talking to me about your boobs for babes or babes. Oh babes or boobs. Babes for boobs. And it is a exhausting job. It is not easy. It is not for the faint hearted. You deal with personalities you can't even imagine screaming, yelling, violent, blah, blah, blah. I am like a therapist, a psychic, and a matchmaker rolled into one. Like it's it's it's a lot of work. But I'm used to it.

And it's like breathing. Like if I was at the grocery store and I saw, oh, my friend's in the grocery store and that guy's in the grocery store. I put them together. It's just auto. You know, I'm an autopilot. I'm the same way though. I I I feel like my track record's been pretty good actually with it. That's amazing. Yeah. I and I do appreciate that. And I want more matchmakers. I wrote a book be called Become Your Own Matchmaker on Amazon. It was a bestseller.

Because I wanted other people to do it for themselves as well as their friends and family. Well, I think the number one thing is not to be like you have to be bold and Yeah, be proactive. But if you're proactive. But you know, we're like animals, you know, in the wild. When we want to mate, there's a smell and a signal they send out, right? We're the same way.

You know, we have pheromones. The problem is is the men walking across the bar to ask you out because of COVID, because of the Weinstein effect, because of Me Too, like They're afraid. They're chickens right now. They're very afraid. Like you're gonna cancel them. You're gonna say something online. Yeah. You know, there's a group now called Are We Dating the Same Guy and putting people's pictures up and destroying their image.

But as sometimes it's worthy. Sometimes it's some jerk who's, you know, going out and hurting women left and right and they deserve it. But not everybody does. And it's male and female, by the way. So it's it's a scary time to date. It is that's what I I think it is a scary time. Like I wouldn't wanna be a guy right now. No. I mean it's better now than it was maybe a year ago, but it's not great. But also it's also real unrealistic. We've got men looking at Instagram.

with these perfect looking filtered girls. Yeah. And we're going, What? I can have that and I'm a zero? Like it's the only town where a zero can get a ten and think he can still do better. Well the problem is there's so many ways now for people to like access

dating. Yes. Where I feel that people are not taking that dating seriously. It's all like situationships at any age. Like people just they can scroll to the next person. That's the thing. If you're like my old assistant ended up with her situationship, but it was two years of heartbreak. And he had left the country, come back, moved in with her. I mean, I don't I don't recommend this.

Because of what the roller coaster she went, and there's damage to the brain and the body and the mind, you know, for what happens when you go and allow someone to abuse you. So your bar should be your bar. Like in other words, stop allowing these people, male, female, gay, straight, to abuse you.

Okay. Yeah. You're if the guy doesn't love you, get over the fact he doesn't love you. Work on yourself rather than trying to get the guy to love you because it's not even if he does come back, he's gonna do it again. He always is going to test you. It's his nature. It's the scorpion and the tortoise. You know that story, right? Yeah. You wanna tell that story? You can t you're you're the guy. Yes. So the scorpion and the tortoise. The scorpion, you know, says

to the tortoise, Can I have a ride across the river? And he's like, I don't know, you're a scorpion He's like, No, no, I promise I won't sting you and of course he takes him across the river and what does he do? He stings him It's his nature to test you and abuse you. And if you allow it, he will keep on doing it.

Do you think there's any type of variation in men, like some men who are more noble than that, or do you think across the board? A lot of times what I found in my relationships, the minute I was done in my brain and in my body. Not so much like I took the action to block and whatever, but the minute I felt that, oh my God, I'm over him. Like you run into him and you're like, oh.

I went out with him? What the hell was I thinking? You've now you know you're over it. They fall in love with you. They call you, they won't My ex is like, Belize, you're the only one. I wanna marry you. And you've all seen him on TV, and I'm like,

Yeah, not happening. So why that's a hundred percent accurate. I see that all the time. But why is that? Like energetically The whole time he was with me, he didn't treat me great. Now he wants me to want to marry him. What's psychologically psychologically? I don't even know. Men are programmed to hunt. Okay, think of this. The hunter's hungry. Yeah. Right? He's trying to kill Bambi in the woods, right? But Bambi's like

I'm not gonna let you have me, I'm not gonna let you have me. And he gets hungrier and hungrier and hungrier till he can't handle it anymore. Because he's got no food. You are his source of energy. You are the muse. You are the one that gives them women give the life force. We birth. It's all natural.

So if you think about it, they need the light. They need the light from you. Don't give it in the light unless he deserves the light. What about okay, l I've okay, so there's a million things I wanna go through here. But first of all, I wanna finish with the dem like the geographics here. Okay. I think people find this interesting.

So you're saying LA terrible. Ugh, awful. Awful. So that's the number one city because sorry, it's the most singles in the United States, but you know, they're metrosexual. Don't come here. Yeah, number one. I and I agree with you. Okay. That's for sure. So then you're saying Arizona. What what Arizona has a lot of retirees. So we're talking an older community that They can buy it.

So they have a community of country clubs, they're building up these hotels. The global ambassador is a hot spot. You wanna go spend a weekend there? That's a fun place. Great food and everything. Okay, would you say December one, Arizona? I would say Boca's number one. Boca's number. Boca has more men than women.

And they all came from New York. And now with the Mandami effect and the COPA law, which I don't know if you know, they're trying to seize your property. Um you can Google that. You can Google that'cause we'd get in a whole episode on that one. So you think both Boca? Yeah. So they're all gonna come down they're all coming down to Florida. Okay. All right. So why is that though? They all want to live in

in the country club house, you get a house in behind the gates, you get to play golf and view in a community. It's very easy to make friends that way. Very easy. So you if you were moving, let's say, to Fort Lauderdale and a house on the street, you're not gonna make friends. But with these communities behind the gates

They're retiring, they're bringing down their businesses. Everybody works from a computer. Nobody works in an office anymore unless they have to. Right. So book is number one. But I would say bokeh is number one. How about Miami? Miami is good. But it's very saturated. And also it's young. It's young. What's the eight? So Miami, like South Beach is gay and Brickle's young. You gotta chop it all up.

You know, North Miami's got a lot of international communities, very South American. If you like the South American community, North Miami's really good for that. Really? Okay. I just got back from Miami. I saw m I love South Beach. I love the one hotel. My friend has an apartment next door and I always go the one. I love it. Love walking in Lincoln Road. They're gonna rebuild it. I grew up

part-time in Miami. I went to University of Miami. I'm McCain. Yeah. And so um my grandmother lived there and Hollywood on the beach and I lived at Hollywood on the beach. So it's a great area. I love it. However, it's very saturated now. It's like a lot of traffic.

So I would say maybe go north because the men don't really like like they don't like driving. They don't they're not drivers. I didn't see a lot of like old I didn't see very many single men or couple without That's why you go north. Right. So Del Ray.

And Boca, Delry and Boca. You go to Delry and you can go West Palm Beach is really you're s West Palm Beach is blowing up right now. For how about for single women? Are they just everywhere? And by the way, Jupiter, if you are Jupiter is a good one. If you're conservative Republican And you want a strong, rich r con Republican man, you go to Jupiter. Yeah.'Cause that's where Mar-a-Lago is.

Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so Miami Fl okay, we got the Florida stuff. So Arizona, bo boca number one. Also skiing is a great way to meet people. Jackson Hall, Wyoming. I wouldn't say aspirin, it's kinda metrosexual. Um I thal Vallis family, so I would put Jackson Hall on there. What's the one in Sun Valley? Is that Sun Valley? I don't know. Idaho, yeah. I've got a Sun Valley and maybe Park City.

Yeah, I'd pick those places. Because you're picking places that don't have a lot of competition. We're trying to get the competition away. Those twenty five year olds that are gonna take up your space and you're gonna feel miserable because the men aren't looking at you. Okay, so what about New York? New York is really good. I'm just really worried. Now so I have a feeling there's gonna be a spree of all the richy richies leaving.

Because I I don't trust Mandami. No. Yeah, nobody does. No and Mandami, they're both. And I also think it's gonna be really difficult to do business there. And I think the billionaires are gonna pull out. I think the grocery chains and the billionaires are gonna pull out. And once they pull out, the city's gonna fall. They're in trouble right now. If if Trump doesn't save them.

Yeah, I, that Modan, I mean... I mean he he revoked a hundred and fifty of Eric Adams' laws and one of them was a very good thing. Mm. Am I Jewish? Yeah. Okay. I'm asking. Oh my God. We're from the tribe. Yes. But I thought that's pretty obvious, Cohen. Right. He lied and of course, you know.

I I and he and he's not protecting us. And then also he thirty five hundred uh police officers retired and left the force because of him. So we're we're in a it's a bad place right now. Right. I I mean you might wanna go like I would say in winter time you always go to ski mountain y places. That like Yellow if you can get into the Yellowstone Club, hats off, go. You know, g even here's another thing.

Forget that you don't see someone at the bar. Mingle with the guy who's married. He always has one toking friend who's single. So you want to get the referral. See, people don't work and network enough. Like they they just, oh, there's no one here. Let's leave. And I'm going, wait a second, who's at the bar?

He's got a Rolex on. He's buying shots. Like let's talk to him. Right. You know, like maybe a conduit to see. And by the way, steakhouses where I tell you where there's meat, there's men. So if you go to a steakhouse And you go at five o'clock and you're nice to the bartender and you say, Hey, do you know any regulars who are single in my age group? He's gonna introduce you or she's gonna introduce you. Be friendly if you know the hostess. They all know that that what's going down.

Seriously. You know what? That's a that's a g that's a what's your number one piece of dating advice though? To go to places like the steakhouse? I have a rule, go out once a week by yourself. Those who travel in packs do not attract. It's a very hard rule and a lot of people can't do it.

They cannot eat by themselves. They cannot go to a barber. They think they're gonna be called a hooker if they sit at the peninsula at five o'clock. That was the old day. If you went to the peninsula in Beverly Hills at five o'clock. You were a hooker. We're like, where did this come from? Because the Russian hooker the Russian hookers used to sit there and wait for the guy to come in and buy them a Chanel purse. Don't they still?

I don't know. I haven't been to that. I haven't been Italy never, so I don't know. I don't even know that anymore. I don't even go out anymore. I love to stay home and watch. TV. I want a guy who likes to do nothing with me. Yeah. Does that make sense? That's the most perfect guy. I just want to get under the eat great food and get under the covers and watch.

watch television. A hundred percent. And then take a walk on the beach when the weather's good. It sounds like like sounds like a perfect day to me, which is exactly the problem. People that's why people aren't like these great Yeah. Because they don't wanna be doing the whole My favorite is when the guy is super athletic on the apps and he's like, I do this, I hang like that. And I'm like, Oh my god, you're exhausting. Goodbye.

Like and they are like, I want an outdoors girl. Okay, that's right. Okay. I mean they want an outdoors girl, but I think also they want someone who they can chill with. An outdoors girl's not gonna be feminine pretty and shaving her legs every week. You know, every day so? Yeah. I was gonna say l let's say this. So w my next question was what do you think the number one thing that guys are looking for?

Like something that's unattainable. Like, you know, the men have visions of like what they want, but then what they take is completely different. So what they want. Is the sh the wish list, the hundred things to the floor. But when they get in front of a woman, she may not be in perfect weight. She may not have the perfect smile, she might be a little bit older. You know, they smell the pheromone, they run after it. So you'd be surprised what they take versus what they want.

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And I'm Trip's personality. So right now I'm on my work mode. I'm like, let's do this, let's do it and then a g then I meet a guy and all of a sudden that I'm attracted to, not just anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm like, Hi Right. Oh my God, you did that? That's amazing. Like that's how I am. And then I noticed that recently. I wanted to date Christmas Eve. And I did that. And I went.

No wonder he called me again, he asked me out, he kissed me at the end. And I was like not giving any signals. I just automatically went into feminine mode because when I was working with Pat Allen, who was my mentor and who was on the show who wrote Getting to I Do. She would say to me, switch when you go in the house.

And I had to pret I had and I was had a boyfriend at the time and I ha lived with him and I had train myself to go from because I was producing my show and in front of the camera to go, Hey babe, what do you want for dinner? But you have to I think that you have to train yourself. But I also believe you have to be with the man who can bring you into your feminine. Well, this there's a there's a reason why the masculine women who make money

Don't meet someone who makes more money than them, which will make them relax. Because if a guy said to you, honey, you don't have to work anymore, I'll take care of you. You can have anything you want. You'd be like, what? Who are you? Where'd you fall from? What ail what what

you know, I'm waiting for the aliens to come any minute. Like what planet can we go dating on? Right. Because we've done Earth and Earth is sucks, right? So yeah, so that's kind of like where we're at and we don't get men like that because men are like, I'm exhausted. I

You know, they're whining and their moms are momming them to death. You know, that's really awful. See what I think is social media and the dating apps have really kind of ruined the landscape. And I'm not sure. Well, because they don't have to hunt. There's no hunting and I think Hunting does not count on the app, by the way. I don't want to say hunting is physically in person where you walk up to the girl at the grocery store and say, Hey, which cereal should I get? But it's not.

For most, for the majority of the member for two do you live on the west side? Yeah. So we used to go to Whole Foods on Venice. Like Tuesday, Wednesday night was s I know one of the nights was singles and the other one was gay. And you'd go and sit outside and look really cute from the gym, you'd braid your hair and you have your little

Beanie on top in the winter and you'd sit outside. Do you remember that? I miss those years. Oh my God. I was like, I cannot believe I did not take advantage of that time. People don't like that's what I'm saying. Now with the social media thing, it's people are also getting really they're they're

Their brains are thinking what's real and what's not real are completely different. Like they're seeing all these, like you said, everyone's photoshopped, face tuned, all these things. And they think that whip that's what they're doing.

I get these c complaints from the men when they joined the service, like how they went online, their secretary found these girls and they would say, like, How do you know she really looks like that? And we're like, Would you like to FaceTime with her? Yeah. So And they don't normally look like

Can she filter it? And I said, No, she's FaceTiming. There's no filter on FaceTime, you know, Zoom she can do the beauty thing, but not FaceTime. So then they thank me and they're go God, she's so much prettier than her pictures because He's seeing a human being and рембер.

When you show a picture or even a video, you're not connecting with that person. So it's very attractive when you connect with an with a man and you may not have makeup on. I can't tell you how many times my ex used to say, I love you when you don't have your makeup on. I'm like, What the hell is that about? Well I I think that's a known thing though. Men hate makeup. They hate makeup. They just wanna see like

maybe a little lip gloss and go. Yeah. And so a little tan, like you you know, you've set you've had sun kiss from the sky, forget a spray tan. Yeah. And they think like, you know, you should just be the girl that throws on a pair of shorts and gets in the car. And I sit there and I go

Oh my God, they're going back to high school when this was a high school. Yeah, yeah. So they're trying to get that cheerleader in high school that looks all organic. Yeah. And that's where their brain the natural girl next door, that's where their brain is going. But I will tell you this that men

are acting like it's a given, like their entitlement without having to hunt. Like I deserve the best and I shouldn't have to hunt. Well what I was gonna say also there's a lot of like rhetoric about like I need I want my peace, peace talk, like you know, I just wanna have peace. That's become like the new tag. So here's the new thing. So women are making money. They have their vibrator, right? Yeah, yeah. They got their girl posse and their life is full.

And they're like if you can't meet me at my level of peace Or better, peace or better, I'm not getting out of bed. Now that never happened. So women aren't striped. We've been on strike right now. And this is 18 and up. This is not like 45-year-old women who are like, screw you. These are the kids talking. Just like

Uh eight hundred and sixty seven percent of alcohol sales are down. Did you know that? Kids are not drinking and not drinking. Social clubs are becoming very popular, fitness and wellness clubs. I'm making money on influencing or AI or whatever they're you know, because they're all techie.

And I get to s go to home and go to sleep when I want, eat the foods I want and walk my dog and life is great and they're showing it on it they're sho I can't tell you how many hot influencers don't have boyfriends. I'm watching it. Oh, is it the majority of them? Yeah. I mean I'm watching them all and they're like

No, I don't want to go out with him. He said this or he did that and I could tell right away and they're getting smarter. And I have to give social media one credit. I learned about narcissism. From Dr. Romani and all these experts and realize my ex was a narcissist, my last boyfriend.

And it was my father. He was my dad. My dad was an alcoholic narcissist. So is my ex-boyfriend. And I learned so fast that I would never learn from years of therapy. So I give it to sh social media and now I would never pick a gun.

this again. And I can see the red flags before the wall comes in where I could never have done that in therapy. But you don't think that the word narcissism has been overplayed and overused. I feel like everyone's a narcissist. I feel like there's more narcissists than you think. You do. I do, oh yeah.

It's a narcissistic tragedy happened when they were a child where they created this world that they're the star of their own movie and nobody else matters. And they lost their empathy gin. So in the UK, they're starting in the schools, which is shocking. Considering it's the land of rape right now, you know, London and all that. They're making the boys take away.

empathy classes and how to treat women. They're getting etiquette and empathy classes right now as we speak so they can treat women better. in these like boarding school situations. Really. Well, do you know also that people are using AI now as women, like dating people, creating their own Avatar. Yeah. Just like they used to do the blow up to all and the robots. A hundred percent. And the robots. Versus like you know these like it's like a a film becoming reality, like real life.

There's so many reasons why dating is down. Do you think it's worse for the younger generation? Like the eighteen to thirty or worse for forty to seventy. No, it's worse for the age and'cause at least the forty to seventy has had a taste of what physical companionship is. Yeah, so they're the eighteen year olds

some of these kids don't even never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend and they're not bad looking and they might be tech spectrumy but when it comes to like actually asking a girl out to the prom or something like that, they've never done that. Also I find just in LA or California in general. Everyone is fluid and bisexual. Yeah. So like they're not even the general. My friend's daughter is like that.

A lot of people. I'm like, can't you pick one side? If you close your eyes, which one is more attractive? They're both. They're both. And then my favorite is the pansexual where they They're in the mind. They love the mind. Stimul uh the what's there's another one. Yeah, I know exactly what can and what's the other one? The intel intellectual one. Oh neurotran no, um Oh, I can't think of it. It's like a sexual where you're only turned on by the mind. The pan is the soul the soul.

And the other one's the mine. I don't know which one you're talking about. I'm sure if you said I'd better go to the next slide. Te they're gonna DM you. Yeah, yeah, they will and I'll let you know. There it is. And I forget what it's called. But I I feel like that's another reason why relationships are not flourishing at that age. But so then you think that that generation is worse than our generation? Way worse, way worse. They will get to the point where they will never connect.

There was a movie with Sylvester Stillone and Sandra Bullock and she they didn't have sex. Remember, he comes back to Earth after a certain period of time and she's in the present, but it's really the future. And he says to her, How do let's have sex? And she starts to work with some computer thing. And he goes, What are you doing? And he's like, I'm having sex. Yeah.

something outside of her was stimulating her and he didn't get to touch her that's what's gonna happen in the future. Listen, I think it's ver we're we're not that far away. Yeah, we've maybe five, ten years. Yeah. You know, I was just telling someone before you got here, you know, I just got back from Miami, like I said, and

I played Padell or Pad Oh I I heard it's amazing. Better than pickleball. Way better than pickleball. That's why I'm bringing it up to you. So my friends And there's clubs coming up with it. So yeah. So my friends who are super into it, like you have to come to Padel. So I went to like two or three, no, three different clubs there to play. Uh-huh. I found it to be super vibey.

I found there to be a ton of single people, women and men, who are professional and successful and attractive and athletic. I was like, wow, like this is like the panacea. Did you see the country club that's being built in Fort Lauderdale? That's all pickleball and Padell. It's like the same and Padell both? It's both. And it's it's a country club. You basically join like you're joining Soha. Yeah, exactly. And then there's clubs everywhere.

All different groups, age ranges and everything, and then they go to have lunch at the club and there's parties at night. And it's in Fort Lauderdale by Sagras. And I'm sitting here going, we need that in LA because we don't have anything here. Can I tell you something? I was like, that's exactly what I was saying. I'm like, this is crazy because there it's so vibey. They built a whole culture around it.

People go there, they hang out, they watch other people play, then they play their game, then there's like a whatever thing going. And the crowd is way, I think, a much more affluent. crowd the pickleball. It's way more affluent. Yeah. A and like athletic. So if you're someone who's into athletics. So like to me, these are great places to meet people as well. Well that's another thing. Like now like Mahjong took up.

And it's not and it's not just for women only. Like I've seen groups where men and women are playing Majing, they're going down to Chinatown, they're learning how to play with the pros. And then they're starting their own Mahjong groups. Really? Like we like. Yes. My mother was a back Emma champion and my dad was a car champion.

And my dad my mom won awards. She built Will Chamberlain and everything. She was in New York City out El Morocco. And she used to have these back and cav my my father imported caviar beluga for five years from Russia. And so they would have caviar Back am in parties. Caviar took off, mahjong took off, like what's next?

Are you kidding me? Yeah. Crazy shit. We used to have these amazing parties at my parents' house. So I used to have this thing called game night, which I would like to do. Oh I love that. Oh my god. Can I tell you something? We would do game night probably once a month. And what we would do is we would invite a whole different array of people. Like usually thirty people. Did we start that again? Yeah, I will say something. It was such a hit.

So it became so popular, like and then everyone would bring their friends and like everyone would like you know, inter like mingle and t talk. Like I think having Like experiences with people is the best way. Okay. I can't tell you how many people, like in the old days of game night, like when I was in I lived in Florida. Yeah. Because we took it for granted. We lived in buildings on the beach and everyone knew each other. And on like Thursday night, we'd go to the cigar bar and play pool and

Like we had it so good and we took van we took advantage of it because we we should have like picked one and got off the market. Yes. But I think that's the best way to meet people because even if you don't meet someone, you meet someone's friends. Can I tell or they introduce you to someone. How many times I've said to someone, I'll fix you up if you fix me up. And then we did that. 100%. Also like I'm a big conduit person, right? Like I'm very much I think like you in that way.

Like even at these game nights, like you would you would be surprised how many business things happen, like business relationships. Friendships, a couple of things. You know you take ten percent of all that. I I was gonna people would say it to me all the time, they'd be like, You ha you should take like you should definitely take a commission on this because the amount of things that have happened just in the vicinity of me, business. relationship, I mean professional, personal.

I think it's that is the way to do it. Like surround yourself with that. That's what we need to do. So like if you're in a community, you need to be the ringleader, like you're the social butterfly, you know everyone. Everyone chips in and pays for whatever they have to pay for, the food, the drinks, whatever. Right, right. And then you start doing this, it will create a community. And the problem is most people are lazy. They don't want to lift a big thing.

By the way, I'm not even that much of a social butterfly. However But what a fun thing to do once. I would look forward to that. So s that's the thing, like I'm not even naturally a social butterfly, but I do like to do certain things and to me it's like I'd rather get everyone together than going individually with one person, one person, one person. It's exhausting. So I'm like, I'm gonna invite 20 people.

And that's the best way to do it. My mom created this thing called Ring the Bell and I put it on the show and it was the greatest thing in the world. So it's a t it's called Ring the Bell. It's a party that my mom used to have. So she'd have tables And men would sit around the table and women would sit next to them and she'd have icebreakers in in the front, like little cards when you'd read the question and then break the ice.

And then whoever ran the event would ring the bell and after every course the man would get up, the woman would stay and go around the table. And my mother had m had marriages and marriages from this thing. So I brought it on the show once. It was really cute.

And isn't that speed dating? It was in a sense, but not really. Okay. Speed dating is when you're across from someone, or we call power dating. Okay. Even though the rabbi invented speed dating. Uh across from someone and then you jump, you jump, you jump. But this is different because you're at a dinner. So you're at a dinner and you're talking to everyone. So a woman has a man to both sides.

And then a man has another woman to decide. If the man gets up and moves one over, everybody meets this everybody meets everyone. Yeah. And it's like after each course. Like she'd have small courses. And then the big finish with the dessert. That's so great. I love that. It was a really cute idea. So dinner parties are great too. The problem is people go there, I'm gonna meet my husband. No, go there to meet people. Yeah. How about you just make friends?

And see where it lays, you know? Yeah. He got out of the house. You look, you put some lipstick on, you put a pair of cute jeans on, and just relax. Like, You know, rather than hunting and standing at a bar waiting to get picked. Yeah, I agree. And also I think that like air of desperation if you're going there just to me, just to me, as opposed to having much more of

I'm going there like a reframe of your brain. You're going there to meet people versus I need laser focus. I need to meet a man. I need to meet a woman. I don't know. But but the other thing is like she also put people in the group that had the same common interests. Like if they were golfers you know, male and female golfers, she put them all together and then they had something to talk about. So another thing is you can make groups.

based on like skiing or whatever your hobbies are. I love to cook. So mine would be like cooking. You know, I'm a big I cook everything. You name it, I can cook it. That's just my thing. I've always been like that since a child, yeah. I was my family always had the refrigerators filled. My aunt, my grandmother, and if they didn't have food to cook, you were in trouble because that was how we showed love.

Yeah. I mean that's also very Jewish though, right? Like that's But I mean like I cook really clean now, so I'm like I I was Erwan before Erwin. You know what I mean? Like that's how I cooked. Yeah. All clean ingredients, reading labels. She just gave me something to look at and I looked I immediately went to the label. I know. So you tr you you read every label. Every label. I know what seed oils are in, I know everything's going down, what flour they use. I'm neurotic. Yeah. I love that. Yeah.

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And use code habits at checkout to get an additional 15% off their 90-day starter kit. That's fatty15.com slash habits. Code Habits. And you can find the link in the show notes. Now let's get back to the episode. What's the number one question people ask you? We're all the men. More than where are the women. Do men ever ask you where all the women are? No, they just say hip fix me up.

They just know that I have the women before they go fix me up. But they is they wanna know. But it's always where are the men? Where are the men? They're so sad and look, everybody goes through depression. We watched all those Christmas movies where everybody found love this last period and I just want to cry every single time and go, Where's my guy? And now we have a song, our national anthem.

Where the hell is my husband by Ray? That's right. It I the minute it dropped I told everyone this is gonna be the biggest hit of next year. People were like, You're crazy, yeah. I'm like, okay, I'm an idiot. But it's that is the national anthem. Where is my husband? It used to be w the single girls.

Screw screw you, Beyonce. We have Ray, exactly Ray is a move new girl in town. So that's your that's the number one question they ask you. Did they ever ask you how are you single if you're a matchmaker? Always, always. But that's my s journey and my story. I go on dates. I haven't found the lawn.

I feel like LA's really hard. Mm-hmm. It it would be easier for me in Florida, but I don't live there. So that's why why don't you move why are you here still I live here'cause I produce TV. I make I made m five movies for Hallmark. I'm producing a scripted series with the people that made the kissing booth and the Queen's Gambit. And the Walter Boys, so I'm working on a scripted show.

Can you move like can't you move like live here half the time and I can I can both I can I can but you know what? I really like the weather here. I don't know what it is like the humidity, did it get you a little bit? I d I was lucky with the other. freezing cold Oh you're good, you're in the rain. You had the rain and the freezing cold. Oh it would no yeah, no rain, thank God. I hate

That's the problem with Usually it had rain this last year. You know that I had the worst I was the last time I was there. I went there I usually go every other month, my best friend lives there. Oh really? In Fort Lauderdale. Yeah.

And the last time I was there I said thank you for the rain. Every day I was there it rained. I hate rain though. Well rain is brings the mosquitoes. So it's terrible in Florida. Oh I just yeah, that's the listen, I really love the life in in my life. I wanna bring it if I have to import somebody in I know Hey guys, if you're watching the show, we're both single.

I'm just putting it out there. Um because I would totally import a guy in. Especially a guy who's successful and already has money. He can live anywhere. Well, I mean one hundred percent. And who wouldn't want to live in LA? It's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you who wouldn't. Anybody who has any

any i money because of the taxes here. It's so expensive. Okay. Not to mention all the homeless. I can give you a million reasons why eight or eight okay. Many people have most of the people I know have like little And then we lost the Palisades also. And the Palisades and so there's a lot of reasons. I think that The only reason to be in LA now is the weather. I mean I think that's

That's really where it comes from. But then we don't have even summer. We don't we get, you know, June gloom and May Grey and We don't get like summer till everybody everybody's leaving to go back to school and then we get our summer. Isn't that something? It's so stupid. It's crazy. Yeah, I agree. What's the difference between being picky and having very high standards? Picky is neurosis.

So it's constantly where, you know, her eyelashes flutter too much or, you know, one thigh's thinner than the other. Like that's that's creepy. But um high standards. high value woman, that's okay. Yeah, but I'd rather you have high standards. No, but what's the difference? And someone who's like picking picky silly things. But like picky's kinda s picky's that's not so much silly things. It's just neurosis over like, you know, like I'm too picky. Well

w should I be low standards? So high standards is like you look at yourself. Do you have those things? Are you successful if you want someone successful, are you successful? If you want someone in shape, are you in shape? That's like high standards. So what I find so hilarious is when these I find this is what I think happens a lot when people who aren't like they're a sick Mm-hmm. And they expect to get a an eleven. Especially if it's a man that has money. Yeah.

Because he can get the eleven. Yeah, he believes the entrance fee, okay, of the money, Jeff Bezos one oh one. You know, and then she comes along and makes him in shape. Yeah, I mean they they have a good relationship like that. I know, but to me that's even I see it way worse. At least she's age appropriate. Yeah, isn't that nice? At least she's not really nice. Like to me it's like Laura's great, she's great, mine's great. I would and also she's no dummy. Yeah.

To me I can I can d deal with that. What I don't like is when it's like I'm y you're you're like five foot one and you're bald, but you're very rich and you're Well there's tons of nerds on the w on the Forbes 400. And they're dating a twenty five year old gold digger and they think that's okay. I I I don't see it. But they didn't get that in high school. I but the but I say if you marry for money, you earn every penny. Because the girl still has to have sex with that guy. Some girls don't care.

I know. They're going birkin, birkin, birkin as he's going up and down and pumping a junk. Yes. But what I don't get but is how it what does that say about the girl? The girl is materialistic, but you get what you pay for. Uh you get what you pay and you earn every pay. The Marilyn Monroe movie.

Gentlemen more lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So she says to she's dating this guy and the guy's father has the money, he's the billionaire. And she says to him, Well, don't you know a pretty girl is just like a man with money? We have an exchange. Transaction, yeah. Transaction. And then she said, What's wrong with that?

You're not gonna date you're not gonna marry an ugly girl. Why not me? In the end, she says that. And I just saw that clip. I put it on my Instagram. Listen, if it works for you, all the power to you, but I find that very I find that interesting. Okay. Yeah, but you have to understand in that time, in that era Yeah. Women didn't have money. So we were slaves to men. So think about this. Yes. We've always been slaves to men till this generation. Think about

Think about that. Yeah, I know. Our generation, okay, made the money to pave the way for these younger kids where they're making they're not going to even college. They're like, why should I go in debt? I can make

Six times that month, AI, you know, CGI and all this other crap that they're doing, UCSG and all this shit, they're making all this stuff online without even going to college. Well we had to go to college, we had to pay our dues, we had to work for the man. They're not doing that anymore. So they're making all this money and living at home and saving money at the same time. Like it's crazy. It is crazy. And then but then they're socially inept.

So there's a there's a payoff at the end of the day. But the girl that's traveling around and c you know on Instagram and going, I got princess treatment, he's taking me there and here and I just got my ring and da da da da da we'll see how long that lasts. What do you think though of having like of traditional values? I'm traditional values. I'm old school. Very old school. I'm old school I'm I'm way old school then you would never know that about me.

But that's what I've been trying to you but you preach it a lot. I feel better when I'm old school. The minute I get outside of old school, I do not feel good at all. Right. No. I mean and you all your whole thing also with like no sex before monogamy and all these things, you still believe But there's a reason. There's a biological reason. You know that, right? So the biological reason Emily would tell you this, the biological reason is that we have oxytocin, they only get oxytocin

Through vasopressin. So a man falls in love when he's doing things for you, solving your problems and doing things, building those akiah shelves, okay? Picking up for dinner every night. When he's doing, he feels good.

And then he loves you more. That creates oxytocin. Very small amount, but still it does create it. Women, the minute we have sex with you, we fall in love with you, whether we like you or not, whether you got an orgasm or not, the top creates oxytocin, we bond, that's why we spoon.

Okay, and we're screwed. So we can fall in love with the gas station attendant who doesn't give a shit about you. Okay. We'll rob you blind, you know, steal your sister at the same time. And we're like, wait, what just happened? He is not bonded. He bonds through vast oppression through the floor. But doesn't that change over time? So let's say you get so like you can start you don't think it changes over time? No. As long as he keeps doing for you, he will be in love with you.

That's why they did a study recently which upset me greatly that said women who cook Okay. Don't get the love from the man like women who don't. And I automatically cook'cause that's what my mother and my grandmother did. Right. So then you I was my sh I remember once I literally was I was had the best sex I ever had in Florida at one period. It was dirty thirties, early dirty thirties.

And so I thought my boyfriend was cheating. I wasn't sure. And he was leaving the next morning to go on a business trip. So I conveniently went naked under the robe to his house, you know, like one of those. I lived in Florida. And I made his favorite chocolate chip cookies. I stayed up all night baking. That's how he was driving my bus because my hormones were raging. To procreate.

And have orgasms. Oh, he gave me the best orgasms I ever had. So I was like, Emily would love this story. And um I went four years on again, off again. The day I said it was over, I had the click. He wasn't for me, he wasn't treating me right, blah, blah, blah. I met my fiance the next day, but I had the click go off.

Of course then he called please come back, I'll marry you, I love you. I told you they every time they always come back. They'll come they could come back fifteen years later and say you were the one that got away. You're gonna hear women say that to you after this episode. Yeah. Like, yeah. And so the oxytocin controls our brain to make our decisions. Now you get into your fifties.

And what happens? Hormones change, right? They change. You get into menopause, testosterone increases, estrogen goes down, and No, testosterone does not increase. For men or for women? For women. Oh god. Women increase testosterone and menopause and our estrogen decreased. When that happens, our brain changes and we become the man. That's why you can have sex after menopause and you basically don't get attached.

I didn't my I thought you're you lose testosterone. No, you don't lose testosterone. It increases estrogen estrogen. You lose estrogen you need estrogen. That's why it's very important for people to get on bioidenticals. Which now we know the truth, which they've been lying to us. And I was always a Suzanne Summers girl, read the book, went to the doctors, have the best functional medicine doctor, Doctor Reed. Molly Sims goes to her. Saved my life. She saves my doctor.

She's a very good doctor. I lost her phone number. She knew she's in Santa Monica. She knew she knew about peptides before anyone else. Anyway, I went to another famous doctor in Beverly Hills who kill almost killed me in in COVID. And doctor Reed saved my life. What do you mean what can I doctor? She overprescribed. I don't want to say her name, but she was really bad.

She overprescribed. Over prescribed HRT uh biogenical, but she misdiagnosed my dosage and be having Hashimoto's and everything, I almost died. And Dr. Reed changed me. Really? She completely changed me. Yeah. good physicians that know what they're doing. She won't give you anything FDA approv like there's a something I wanted and and I was reading about and she's like, nope it's not FDA approved yet. Like she's one of those.

But she knows about shit before it happens because she's not. I remember she's really good. She was a very good doctor and I I remember when I went to see her for something, she gave me something that nobody else was giving at the time.

She she's got a great reputation. I totally think. I there's somebody else really famous that goes to her, but I don't want to say it. Molly has talked about it. This other person is even bigger than Molly. And you know, No, no, I know I know you're like she knew about Exiomes and all the You know, glutathione and all the drips before anybody did um No, that's what she gave me, glutathione like twelve years ago. And she say and like when I got coveted she knew exactly what to do. Ma um

Sam Grant, who's my nutritionist, works part-time with her too. And she's amazing too. So those two people together have really changed my life. God, I should go back to see her. Can you give me her number? I forgot. Yes, I will give you two after the show's over. I really want I've just I gotta go see her again.

Is there anything that I forgot to ask you that you think would be um something that my audience would like to think? Well you said you must have catered to men, right? Is that what you're saying? 6040. Okay. No, no, no. Not all at men. I would say sixty forty. Maybe we talk about some men stuff because we talked more about women's stuff. So let's talk about men's stuff.

Like we asked me questions about men. What what what Okay, so well I was asked yeah, you're telling me a lot about women. Women, by the way, would love this also, but I But men were my premium clients. So it started with men and it's still with men because men don't have time. They're busy, they know what they want, and they need someone to give it to them. So if they go back on Instagram with their secretaries, they gotta spend a lot of time, not so much swiping, but screening.

And one of the things that I am able to do that nobody can do is me and my team, we screen like nobody. We'll say, we'll know who their first grade boyfriend was. You know, it's like one of those things. And then we know who's right energy for them. Like I had a really difficult client about three weeks ago who's famous on Instagram and he gets a million girls, really handsome from the Midwest. And I gave him two girls.

Right. He likes them both. So now his biggest dilemma is which one do I choose? I go, well, don't choose any. Just keep dating both. And then you'll figure it out. So one of my clients always says to me, You always give me so many choices. I'm like, Should I not? Like other services barely give you one and I'm giving choices. Don't you think it's better to focus on one person and see if it's No, not in the beginning stage, not these kind of clients. These kind of clients do choice.

Because if they go through one They will come back immediately. They oh I pulled the trigger too soon. I rather them date a few people than pick one and take their time. Right. Take their time. I mean that's why I tell women.

When the women come in, these men are dating everyone. You date everyone too. Just don't date. You can only date in my service. One of the problems I have is that I tell women, the men who pay or the women who pays, that's the client. So they can have as many as they want. You cannot. So what in the matchmaking space, who like I'm not gonna besides the dating apps and all the things we already covered. Is this a big business? Are there a lot of matchmaking business

It's getting bigger and bigger as we talk about it because of what's going on. Yeah. And people are sick of apps and they're sick of everything. And AI is gonna now take over in the matchmaking space. That's a new thing that's happening. With apps. Yeah. It'll assist us, but it'll never get rid of the human touch because I don't know what they're doing. I've tried ChatGPT for the matchmaking, it didn't do what I needed to do.

So I it's you need a human touch because we we are taste, touch and feel. So it's a little different than chat GPT going ethically what you should do. Yeah. You know, it's not the same thing. But I will say that AI will be good for recruiting, which means like if I wanna find a golfer in Cincinnati at a certain country club

eventually, not today, AA will find me that particular golfer for that client, that female client. So it's like kind of like it's gonna be my legs on the ground, but I wouldn't say it knows how to actually put sorry. اشتركوا في القناة two people together. You know what I was just thinking would be a great thing if they're gonna do something online? LinkedIn should put together I always said LinkedIn should do dating. For sure because it's like you have that you have that

I don't know them, but I've always said that and I would be the in-house matchmaker and help them put it together. I've always said that. I think that would be brilliant because you y you have like all the business people. You have like the built-in audience of people. I think they tried to do that with the league. Do you remember that? They did it. Well the league has has basic dating, but Facebook dating, but it's not the level because you're looking at

business profiles. You're looking at people's CEOs and own corporations. Yes. And you're looking at a higher level of clientele. Okay, I have one last question actually and then we can wrap it it's been a while. But What do you think of interfaith relationships versus um Ooh, this is a touchy one. You know, being Jewish, we all want everybody to date Jewish, especially after October 7th. Right. Um Love is love.

So I'm not here to tell you not to who to date because you have a different religion. You just gotta know are you compatible. So like for instance if you I'm talking about compatibility at the end of the day. If you're Orthodox Jewish, you're not gonna date a born again Jewish. No, no, I don't mean it like that. What I mean is like In in hist historically then your in your experiences with people that you've set up.

Have you noticed that the people who have like longevity over time is people who are Jewish, Jewish, Muslim, Muslim together versus this one and that one, you know? No? There are plenty of people that have opposite relationships. Most of the people now I feel are getting more spiritual.

You know, like I'll go to church with with a Catholic guy like I did my last boyfriend and then I'll have Passover dinner with him at my house or something like that. But it's more about do you believe in God? Like I can't date an atheist. It wouldn't work for me. Right, right. I'm not religious.

Although I am a Zionist for Israel, but I can't date somebody who's like there is once we die, we're dead. Like I'm like, no, there we're reincarnated. Like, you know, there's other stuff going on in the our planets. Even how many times have we now know there's alien life? And yet nobody wants to talk about it. And I'm seeing you're going, there are other planets with other alien life forms. Don't you want to know about that?

Yeah. I'm like, great, until they invade? Okay. Right. So that's not really so it's more about the spirituality. Spirituality is believing in God. You know, and but when you have a religion, and I won't say the one everybody's gonna know, that will blow themselves up and hurt people in the name of their God, that's a cult. That's not a religion, that's a cult. So I'm sorry if you don't like that. That's a cult. Okay? And I'm sorry because God doesn't hurt people.

Okay. You know? Yeah, I agree. I was watching one battle after another. Did you see it? No. Oh so good. Okay, good. It's the best movie. Next is Marty Supreme and that are the two movies of the year.

So I watched one battle after another and there's this thing Where's it on? Now when I watch it. Um I think it's on HBO now. Okay. So it's with within our DiCapio. Okay. And so there's this thing, this white supremacist club called the American Christmas Club in the movie. And I can't give it away what it is. But I thought about this and I went, wait, they don't want anybody whose blood is tainted that's not pu pure lily white. I thought Jesus was a Jew and he was Spartic. He did not have white

skin. Like I would like like that's how dumb religion became. Yeah. Like they just made up their fairy tales as they went along. That's not the truth. Right. Jesus was a rabbi, did to fill in every morning. He'd come back and go

What the hell did you people do? That's right. That's interesting. Exactly true. I'm gonna watch that movie. Yeah, so you're gonna love that and Marty Supreme both online. I'm gonna watch that. Run to the Well, they're both online. Well, no, Marty Supreme I saw in the theater last week, but one battle after another is on HBL.

Yeah. I'm gonna like that. I like that. Okay, I think that's all. We've been doing this for a while now. I don't know how long this podcast is, but if people want to know more about you, where can they find you? They can either go to MillionairesClub123.com, it's got an S in Millionaires Club or DM me on Instagram. Patty Stanger with an eye.

There you go. You heard it here, not first, but you've heard it here. You are great. Again, the OG of matchmaking. And like so entertaining. So like straight. I love I think that you're just so fun. Cool. Thank you so much for being on here. I really appreciate it. You're great.

And go find Bet Patty on Instagram or the Millionaire Matt. D is there like any kind of like survey or something people can fill out? Yeah, when they get to my website, they can decide if they're gonna be a client or a dater and then they'll just the prompts will lead you in there. Oh, okay, great. Yeah, on the website. Perfect. Thank you. Yeah, thanks for having me. Well, thank you for being here. Bye, everyone.