Two years ago I hosted the first ever . Hundreds of people showed up to hear some of my favorite relationship experts speak for a few hours. At the very end of the event we did a powerful activity. We had the entire audience stand up and dance to an amazing, upbeat song. They got their hearts pumping, and their adrenaline going. Then, we cut the music and turned on a romantic slow song. Hundreds of couples spread across the auditorium, hugging each other tight, and swaying to the music. Some of ...
Feb 25, 2020•14 min
I want to tell you about this thing my wife does that gets me completely addicted to loving her. It gets me to turn off my phone and help around the house, be more empathetic and emotionally supportive, kiss her passionately every day, and buy her flowers, pick up her favorite drink from the store, and write her love notes. Sounds pretty magical, right? Maybe even a little hard to believe? That’s what today’s podcast is all about. (You can listen to it here.) The best way to explain what she doe...
Feb 18, 2020•11 min
Monica Tanner is the host of the "On The Brighter Side" podcast. She recently interviewed me for her , and it was a blast. Her passion for marriage is infectious, so I thought I'd have her on to tell you what she learned interviewing some of the top marriage experts around! Bonus? She's about to launch a 14-day "" You should check it out!
Feb 12, 2020•29 min
Pearson’s Law states: “When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported back, the rate of improvement accelerates.” We see people tracking, measuring, and improving their performance in business. We see it happening in sports. We even see it in government… although whether or not improvement accelerates is debatable. But why don’t we see it in marriage? Probably because it’s hard to measure marriage.
Feb 04, 2020•13 min
I just got back from the gym. Today’s workout was TOUGH. My legs are wobbly. My lungs are burning. I have sweat dripping down my back. And I’m THIRSTY! Sometimes I forget my water bottle when I go to they gym. I leave feeling like my mouth is a desert and my tongue is sandpaper. Have you ever felt that way? It’s like the only thing you can think of is how and where you’ll get the next drink of water. It’s a normal problem to have. Now, let’s suppose you came home and you told your partner, “Holy...
Jan 28, 2020•9 min
1. You don’t know how to find a good therapist When you’re struggling in life with your mental health, with past trauma, or in your relationships, it’s normal to hear the advice, “You should go talk to someone.” The implication is that a therapist - any therapist can help. But searching for a good therapist is a lot like searching for a good doctor. You want to find someone who knows what they’re talking about. You wouldn’t go see a foot doctor if you had a sore throat. You’d be much better off ...
Jan 21, 2020•15 min
Have you ever heard 3,000 people gasp at the same time? Back in September, I interviewed Drs. John and Julie Gottman in front of an audience of 3,000+ people. If you haven’t heard of them, what Michael Jordan is to basketball, they are to . About 30 minutes into the interview John Gottman dropped a serious truth bomb. Some new research he’s been doing has led to some findings that shocked the entire room. (.) John and his team were measuring stress hormones in the urine of young children. He fou...
Jan 14, 2020•10 min
Flinching is kind of a strange phenomenon. It’s not something you consciously do. It’s an instinct. Your brain forces you to pull away from the thing that could cause you pain. A hot stove, a pointy needle, or a ball flying at your face… It doesn’t matter what it is, if your brain senses it as a threat that could hurt you, it will do its best to protect you. Now, here’s something most people don’t know. Physical pain and emotional pain… they’re processed in many of the same areas of the brain. A...
Jan 07, 2020•12 min
I still remember the thrill of scoring my first soccer goal as a kid. I felt a rush of endorphins and surge of confidence (which I severely lacked as a kid) as my team rallied around me and cheered! I remember running down the field holding up 2 fingers. My parents were on their feet screaming at the top of their lungs. It was an amazing feeling. I was hooked. I loved every aspect of the game. I loved playing it, watching it, coaching it. I even had a Brazil national team poster and a Mia Hamm d...
Dec 31, 2019•23 min
Over the last few weeks I’ve been laying the groundwork for the Growth Ecosystem - the 3 fundamental principles you need to have in place to achieve your goals over the long-term, and experience explosive growth in your life (and in your marriage): Have a goal that inspires and motivates you (just like plants strive towards the sun). Surround yourself with a supportive and nurturing community (just like plants use soil to hold them in place during rough weather). Develop a system of regular acco...
Dec 24, 2019•24 min
Over the last 3 weeks, I’ve been breaking down this new idea I call the Growth Ecosystem. The idea is that having a growth “mindset” is not enough to create change in your life. Most people can dig deep and make positive short-term changes to their lives — like sticking to a new health routine, writing a few chapters of that book you’ve had in your head, or strengthening that weak spot in your marriage. But if they’re not living in an environment that encourages those changes to stick, they fall...
Dec 17, 2019•29 min
Today’s podcast episode and accompanying blog post will make a lot more sense if you listen to to the past 2 episodes of the Growth Marriage Podcast first! In the first episode, I introduced the concept of the Growth Ecosystem. The idea is that a person (aka you), when placed in the right ecosystem, will grow and achieve their goals… just like a plant will grow when it’s placed in the ideal ecosystem. Have you ever attempted to unlock your potential by working towards a goal or making an improve...
Dec 10, 2019•26 min
On last week’s podcast episode I told you that after interviewing hundreds of madly-in-love couples, and the world’s top marriage experts (like Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, or Drs. John and Julie Gottman from The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work), I pieced together a powerful, life-changing principle that nobody else is talking about. Yet, the most fulfilled couples on the planet are living this principle… most of the time without even knowing it… I call it The Growth E...
Dec 03, 2019•25 min
Whenever I go to a party and someone asks, “So, what do you do?” I smile and take a deep breath. “I help people have amazing marriages.” “Oh, so you’re a therapist?” they inevitably ask. “Nope! I have no desire to be a therapist. Thought about it for a while… even got accepted into some great programs. But therapy is not my thing.” “Oh… so… what do you do then?” It’s fun to see their reactions when I tell them that back in 2012 when I went on a cross-country road trip to discover the secrets of ...
Nov 25, 2019•14 min
On today's episode I sit down with Rachel Abrams, co-author of the new book "" with her husband, Doug, and the renowned Drs. John and Julie Gottman. In today's episode - among other things - we talk about the Conflict Date, and why it's Rachel's favorite date. You'll learn about all the wonderful benefits and treasures you can discover for your relationship when you approach conflict with the right tools and mindsets. It's a powerful episode!
May 03, 2019•53 min
Mort Fertel is the creator of , a relationship renewal system that’s been used by millions of people in marital crisis. He also authored the book On today's show we talk about some of the ways to get in your reps to build a healthy relationship. What are the things you can do to stay in shape, have good relationship nutrition, and keep your marriage strong and healthy.
Apr 11, 2019•46 min
Kyle Wright used to be a bartender, but now he's the cofounder of the with his wife, Rachel. Kyle just launched a new podcast called "Masculinity On The Rocks" which I'm REALLY excited about... especially since part 2 of this Double Podcast Relationship Extravaganza can be found on that very podcast. Make sure to check out Kyle and Rachel's that will help you find the right words when you need them the most.
Apr 03, 2019•46 min
When you're faced with a struggle, an obstacle, or a challenge, the easy choice is to say, "I don't know what to do." But what if "I don't know," didn't exist? What would you do then? In today's episode, Celeste Davis of talks to us about how we're SO much smarter than we think. If there's an area of your life that you want to be better, you probably have the answers. Her ideas of how to find those answers are brilliant!
Mar 27, 2019•50 min
Dr. Mark Chamberlain is a PhD in Psychology and specializes in helping couples go through the process of forgiveness, and navigate addiction. In today's episode we tackle some aspects of forgiveness that I've never considered before. Like the importance of holding grudges! (Yes, they're important. Listen to the episode for more.) And be sure to check out Mark's book, "."
Mar 25, 2019•1 hr 3 min
Logan Ury is one of those people I could talk to for HOURS. She's a TED Resident, Author, and Dating Coach. She hosted the Modern Romance series at Google which featured guests like Esther Perel and Drs. John and Julie Gottman. And she's just a fascinating person to talk to. I hope you enjoy this conversation which is essentially two relationship nerds picking each others' brains regarding what makes some marriages work while others fail, how to choose a partner, whether we expect too much from ...
Mar 15, 2019•1 hr 8 min
I've been doing this marriage podcast for almost 7 years... and for 3 of them I've been married. And for some reason, I've never officially introduced you to my wife. No idea why. So in this episode you FINALLY get to meet Angilyn. And we're going to share with you one of the tools we use to keep our marriage healthy, thriving, and on-track. We call it the Relationship Inventory. You can call it whatever you want. I hope you enjoy getting a real personal look into our relationship.
Mar 06, 2019•40 min
"We just need better communication." "I just don't feel like I can trust him." "We need to do better at giving each other the benefit of the doubt." These are all symptoms of a relationship that doesn't have a strong foundation of . Create more safety, and these problems will resolve themselves. In today's episode we talk with Marriage Coach, Maggie Reyes about some practical ways you can create more emotional safety in your relationship.
Feb 20, 2019•44 min
Can you turn off your phone from 5:30 PM - 5:30 AM to make room for what's important? Can you say "no" to distractions so you can say "yes" to your priorities? Are you truly committed to epic love... or do you just tell yourself you are? Find out in today's episode.
Feb 13, 2019•50 min
John and Julie Gottman are the pioneers of relationship research. Their work has transformed the lives of millions of people all over the world. Yesterday, their new book Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love came out, and I thought today would be a great chance to re-broadcast their interview and encourage you to snag the book. I hope you enjoy this interview with 2 absolute legends.
Feb 07, 2019•37 min
What are boundaries? Why are they important? How can I connect more with people who will uplift and support me to create the most epic marriage on the planet? We talk about all that and more on this week's episode with Dr. John Townsend, author of the NYT Bestseller, "Boundaries."
Jan 31, 2019•45 min
Dale Reeves has worked over 1,500 cases as an interrogator, and has a 100% confession rate. He worked 2 cases where he had to return to his client and report, "The people I interviewed are not guilty." In both cases, the client came back to him and told him that the money/merchandise that was reported missing was due to error, and there was in fact, no crime at all. Dale is a master of interpersonal communication, and human relationships. He handles high-conflict, high-stress, high-emotion conve...
Jan 24, 2019•1 hr 2 min
When should you leave your relationship and when should you say? It's a touch subject, but we get into it today... and we talk about the lame excuse of "Staying together for the kids" that SO many people use to stay in terrible relationships and not work on them. It's a delicate subject to address, and it might ruffle some feathers, but it needed to be said.
Jan 16, 2019•50 min
In life, you get to choose between the pain of growth and the pain of staying the same. If you choose to stay the same, you repeat the same problems over and over and over again. Growth, on the other hand, comes with pain... but it also fulfillment and accomplishment. In today's episode you'll find out how something as simple as breathing can help you choose the right pain to live a fulfilling live and create an epic relationship.
Jan 09, 2019•1 hr 1 min
The truth is, most people want marriage to be comfortable. Comfortable is easy. Comfortable is safe. Comfortable is predictable and doesn’t force us to confront scary things. When you change as a partner - when you truly commit to becoming a better version of yourself, and then follow through by taking action - things stop being so comfortable... and your partner might not like that.
Oct 09, 2018•11 min
What do you do if your friends (or your partner's friends) are having a negative effect on your relationship? How can you respond if they're bringing you down, talking bad about your partner, or marriage in general? Hopefully this episode is relevant and helpful if you’re in that situation.
Sep 21, 2018•36 min
