Aren't adventurers supposed to have a specific purpose? What are you doing on this quest? Just meeting strangers? Yep, my purpose is to have no purpose. Though, I sort of find purpose as I go. My basket! It's missing! I have tried many means of defense, but none have yet proven successful. I just wish someone would succeed in getting that darn sword.
I am under attack by this ruffian. I want to be big and strong and fight evil. I have hope that if you show up at her door, she might listen. Want to help me yell at them? With your sword? In a threatening manner. Sidequesting is a fantasy podcast about avoiding the main plot. It follows Ryan, an adventurer who's willing to help just about anyone out. As long as they're not being asked to deal with that scary wizard everyone keeps talking about. Subscribe today on your favorite podcast app.
Hi, my name is Adam Gidwitz. I'm an author. I'm also a storyteller. I like telling all kinds of stories, but I especially like telling grim fairy tales. You may think you know grim fairy tales. And you may think that they are sweet and boring. But listen, those tales you heard were the cute, happy, little kid bedtime versions of the grim tales. The original grim fairy tales aren't like that at all.
They're weird and sometimes gross and often scary. In other words, they're grim. And I'm about to host a virtual storytelling session and tell one of the original grim, grim tales. to a bunch of kids. Do you want to join me? Do you want to hear a grim fairy tale? I don't know if you said yes or no because I can't hear you. So let me help you decide.
This is the second part of a tale called No Eyes, One Eye, Two Eyes, Three Eyes. If you haven't listened to part one yet, you're going to want to go back and listen to that first. On a scale of grim, grimmer. and grimmest. This second part of the story is grim. The exciting adventure continues with lots of action and lots of suspense.
If I get to a part of the story and you start to feel scared or uncomfortable, this is what you could do. You could turn down the volume and count to five. Then turn the volume back up. If it still seems like a part you don't want to hear, turn it down and count to five again. You know how much weird and gross and scary you're ready for. You know what you need. Okay. I'm about to join the session. There are kids inside waiting to hear a grim fairy tale. So, are you coming in?
Grim, grimmer, grimace. Adam, what's the story called? This story is called... No eyes, one eye, two eyes, and three eyes are two. I didn't hear the end. No, no one heard the end. But now, you will. This is part two. can remind us what happened in no eyes one eye two eyes three eyes part one okay so there was a woman she had four babies One had no eyes, one had one eye, one had two eyes, and one had three eyes. And her mother loved two eyes the most and didn't like anyone else. Right.
And then they found out they had superpowers. No eyes. When she dreamed she could see the future. Very good. One eye can see very far. Yes. And... Three eyes can see in the night. Yes, excellent. What was the very last thing that we heard happening just before I stopped last time? Okay, so Three Eyes was looking in the dark cave for the dragon. Right.
Because the dragon had captured two eyes and the sisters were trying to rescue her. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Quietly. Oh, so quietly. Three eyes crept up to the dragon's nest. The great dragon, with his emerald and blue scales, his claws as large as dogs, and his fangs as tall as men, was curled up in his giant nest. The dragon was snoring loudly. Three eyes got closer. And closer. Until, suddenly, she saw a bit of ribbon. And then some hair. And then...
An arm, and... It was two eyes. Two eyes was in the nest, too. She was trapped, it seemed, between the belly and the legs of the dragon. She appeared to be sleeping, fitfully. Three eyes crept. toward her sister. With the stealthiness of a master thief-catcher, she climbed over the dragon's legs, knelt down beside her sister, and whispered, Two eyes. Two eyes opened her two eyes, and she almost screamed.
Three Eyes clapped a hand over her sister's mouth and motioned for Two Eyes to follow her out of the cave. But Two Eyes wasn't sure why Three Eyes was there. And Two-Eyes remembered that she had not been very kind to her sister the last time they were together. Three-Eyes urged her to hurry. Quick! Follow me. We've come to rescue you. Who's come to rescue me? Said two eyes, too loudly. Shhh, hissed three eyes. The dragon had moved out in his sleep. Three eyes held her breath.
Until the dragon started snoring again. Then three eyes whispered. Me and one eye and no eyes are here. Which made two eyes nervous. Why? They might kill her. Why might they kill her? Because she did nothing. She wasn't being nice to them. Yeah, and she did nothing to help them when their mom banished them. You're absolutely right. Two Eyes knew how angry her sisters had been with her.
But she decided she certainly couldn't stay in this cave with the dragon. She would definitely die. So she followed three eyes through the darkness, climbing as quietly as she could over the dragon's legs and out of his nest. The whole way out of the cave, Three Eyes held Two Eyes' hand and used her excellent vision to guide her so she wouldn't trip or kick a rock or wake up the dragon by making a sound. They hadn't held hands, since they were very little children. Aww, that's sad.
Three Eyes led Two Eyes back to the ship, where No Eyes and One Eye were waiting. Oh, uh, hi. Hi, Two Eyes. Hi. Two Eyes wasn't sure whether to embrace her sisters or not. And no eyes, one eye, and three eyes weren't sure if they wanted to be embraced. Luckily, there wasn't time for hugs. They sailed away from the island as fast as they could.
They sailed and sailed and sailed through the night and through the next day until finally the island was out of sight, even of one eye with her telescope. Then they stopped sailing so they could rest. And perhaps... talk. Yes, and two eyes will have to apologize for just being a bad person. Yes, and being like, oh well. Okay, who cares about them? I have my good fortune. Right?
Two eyes looked at her sisters. She hadn't seen them in years. They looked just as strange to her as they had when they were all children. But there was something different about them now. Something prouder. Two Eyes wasn't sure what it was. What do you think it was? They had jobs and they weren't treated poorly. Very interesting.
and also she hasn't really seen them like without her mother close to say oh ignore them dear they are not like you you should use your beauty and we shall have a fortune you shall become a model you shall marry the prince That's a good point. This is like the first time we've ever seen them without their mom nearby. Any other thoughts? Well, one eyes, no eyes, and three eyes were born with special abilities. Two eyes wasn't. So they've got this pride.
Is that what you were saying? Mm-hmm. Interesting. But her sister's new pride made two eyes afraid and made her feel more guilty than ever. And instead of embracing them now, or even thanking them for saving her, she curled up on a coil of rope up at the bow of the ship and went to sleep. And no eyes, and one eye, and three eyes scowled at their proud princess of a sister. One eye said, See? She thinks she's too good to even say thank you for saving her life.
Three Eyes concurred. I told you we shouldn't have bothered saving her. She's so stuck up. But No Eyes wasn't sure. She thought maybe something else was going on with their sister. Why do you think Two Eyes isn't talking to them? Because she's embarrassed and guilty. Can you explain what she's embarrassed about? Because she was mean to them and didn't do anything about it when they got kind of put out. But then...
When she got taken by the dragon, they came and rescued her, even though she did nothing to them. That's a good point. So she's guilty. She feels guilty. And she thinks that she's not as good as them. Yeah, maybe. Because she's always believed. That's a really interesting point. When they were growing up, she always thought she was better than them. And now maybe she's afraid.
they're better than her yeah now they've got all these awesome powers and some people like them they've got the jobs and they successfully rescued their sister from a dragon all alone Yeah, so maybe she feels like lesser than them. Yeah. That's so interesting. Well, eventually they all fell asleep on the deck of the ship, far away from Two Eyes.
They slept until about midnight. And then, no eyes awoke. Why do you think? Dream. Because she had a bad dream. What kind of bad dream? About what? The dragon. Dragon, dragon, dragon, dragon. She'd had a dream. No Eyes cried, Sisters, wake up! They all woke up with a start.
Three Eyes asked, What's wrong? Something terrible is going to happen to the ship. I see it breaking up on the sea, and I see fire. I don't know why. Anyone know why? Because a dragon will come and rain fire. Well, this whole time... Two Eyes hadn't really been sleeping. She'd been tossing and turning with guilt and sadness. Her sisters had saved her, and she couldn't even thank them? And were they really so ugly?
As their mother always said, they didn't seem ugly to her anymore. They seemed fierce and wild and beautiful. They're powerful, they're beautiful, more beautiful than you will ever be. Two Eyes, at the other end of the ship, heard No Eyes' prediction about the ship breaking up on the sea and catching fire, and she was pretty sure she knew what would cause it. She leapt up from the coil of rope and ran to her sisters.
It must be the dragon. I'm sure of it. Quick, jump into the water. Stay under. Until the dragon is gone. But we'll drown! One-Eye protested. I'll keep you alive. Two-Eyes said. cried three eyes trust me two eyes implored them and just then the dragon came the dragon came flying over the ship spraying fire everywhere The four sisters jumped into the ocean, and just in time too, because as they disappeared into the waves, their ship exploded.
They swam down and down, and then looked back up to where their ship had been. All that was left was floating boards and burning sails and fire on the water. and they saw the shadow of the dragon going back and forth just above the waves, searching for them. The sisters were holding their breath for as long as they could, but they were running out of air. Oh no!
And still the dragon was there, scouring the sea, blowing fire at the waves, looking for two eyes, and whoever had taken her from him. Wait, what color was the dragon? Does anyone remember? I think I described the color of the scale. Scale blue. Purple. Blue, aqua, maybe some purple in there. So why is he raining down fire? It should be water.
Because obviously it's a water dragon. You think it's a water dragon? Now, now, don't judge a dragon by its scales. Just like don't judge a book by its cover. It's the same principle. You might see a dragon and you're like, oh, that dragon can't burn me up. It's blue and green. And then, boom. And then it burns you up. fire out of its mouth.
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Not only will you get to hear me tell these fairy tales straight through the way I tell them to kids, you get access to tons of other awesome original shows and audiobooks, all ad-free. Subscribe to Pinna at pinna.fm. That's P-I-N-N. And remember, it's not a Smurf. It was getting harder and harder to stay below the surface, and soon no eyes, one eye and three eyes, were certain that they would drown. Just then they saw two eyes swim down deeper into the sea. She swam deeper and deeper.
until she was swallowed by the darkness. You mermaids. The sisters wondered what Two Eyes was doing, and they wondered if it would be better to drown or to be killed by the dragon. By dragon. Drowned. A third option. No eyes, one eye, and three eyes were just about to have to decide which way they would rather die, when a third option appeared.
Two eyes swam back up to her sister's. She had a large conch shell in her hand, and she exhaled into it. And the conch shell captured her air bubbles. Then she put the conch shell up against three eyes' lips. And three eyes breathed in sweet air. Two eyes has magic too. And two eyes went to one eye and no eyes and exhaled into the conch shell. And then she put it to each of their lips. And they breathed in sweet air too.
kissing each other well they're no they're passing a shell back and forth okay i don't that would be disgusting kissing each other they have to do it to survive There's no other choice. It's better than drowning or being eaten by a dragon. Come on, people. I guess so. Okay, well, they're not kissing each other. Every few minutes, two eyes would breathe into the conch shell and give air to her sisters. And they stayed there.
Under the sea. For hours. Three eyes, one eye, and no eyes wanted to ask two eyes how this was possible. But they couldn't. Is this really possible? No, it's not usually. You'd probably die trying. You would definitely die trying. Good point. Finally, the dragon decided the two eyes and her rescuers must have drowned under the wreck, and he gave up and flew away. Hours ago, he should have made that decision. He should have made that decision hours ago, I agree.
The fire on the waves went out, and the four sisters swam to the surface and gasped at the fresh air. They found one piece of the ship that had not broken apart, and they climbed up onto it like a raft. On the makeshift raft... Three Eyes said, Two Eyes? How did you do that? And Two Eyes said, As long as I've been alive, I've been able to breathe underwater. What? No Eyes gasped. Why'd you never tell them?
Why didn't you tell us? Two Eyes looked down. She wanted to say something, but she didn't know how to explain it. Yes, what do you mean? Because she wants to be normal. She wants her to be normal. Mm-hmm. Well, being a normal person, no one's normal. Everyone's different.
There's no such thing as normal. Yeah. Everyone's weird in their own way. I mean, look, I've met you guys. I've told you guys a lot of stories. You are all super weird. And I like that about you. We are all unique and weird in various ways. Some feel like weaknesses.
But so many of them are strengths. Finally, two eyes said, I am ashamed. One eye said, Ashamed? Why are you ashamed? You saved us. I am ashamed that I never told you. That I... was different too i didn't want to be different i wanted to be just like everyone else and then two eyes looked at her sisters and said but i don't want to be like everyone else anymore I don't want to be ashamed either. I want to be proud and brave and different. Like you, my sisters. Like you, my sisters.
I think those are good role models for kids. And no eyes, one eye, and three eyes edged across the makeshift raft until they were right next to their sister. And then they pulled her into their arms and they hugged her. for the first time since they were very little children. The four sisters paddled back across the seven seas, back to the kingdom where Two Eyes was the princess. Once they arrived,
they heard some very sad news. After the dragon had taken two eyes away, their mother had died of loneliness. Yay! Why are you cheering? The mother been mean. The mother has been mean, it's true. Now, I have a question. Why do you think she died of loneliness? I mean, like, assuming that it's a fairy tale, and in fairy tales, you can die of loneliness. Why did the mother die of loneliness, do you think? Because she didn't have her kids. And why didn't she have her kids?
Because she sent them away. Yeah, she sent them away. She kind of brought the loneliness on herself, didn't she? Yeah.
Well, no eyes, one eye, and three eyes accompanied two eyes back to the castle. Okay, does anyone remember what the reward was for bringing two eyes home? Um... a quarter of the kingdom oh yeah a quarter of the kingdom oh but three three of them did it so each sister ruled a quarter of the kingdom so they could just put their quarters together and then be the rulers over the whole kingdom
Upon arriving at the castle, they were given their reward. One quarter of the kingdom went to no eyes, and one quarter of the kingdom went to one eye, and one quarter of the kingdom went to three eyes. Another quarter. And the last quarter remained with two eyes and her prince. Oh. And so the four sisters became four princesses. Princess One-Eye became the admiral for the navy in charge of all the kingdom's ships. Princess One-Eye.
There's a squall out at sea. What shall we do? Batten down the hatches. And don't worry, just beyond it, the skies are clear and blue. Princess Three Eyes became the chief of the kingdom's guards and chief inspector of mysteries and crimes. Princess Three Eyes, the crown jewels have been stolen! Don't worry, I already caught the burglar and returned the jewels to the treasury. Already? Wow!
Princess Two Eyes was the princess who sat on the throne, because she'd had the most practice. Princess Two Eyes, your subjects are here for the royal audience. Show them in. Let's solve some problems. But most important of all was Princess Nowise, because she could see the future, so she made sure that the kingdom was prepared for anything. Sisters, I've just had another dream. We shall all live happily.
and lovingly ever after. And the four sisters lived happily and lovingly ever after. The end. Okay, question for you all. Can you think back to how you first reacted when you first heard about what the girls looked like? I was freaked out. Yeah, you were freaked out. Okay. I thought they were the bad guys. You thought they were going to be the bad guys. Interesting. Interesting. Why do you think your opinions changed? Because I learned that they're good. Interesting.
Don't judge a book by its cover. Yeah that's true. Or a dragon by its scales. Or don't judge a person by its appearance. That's true. Don't judge a heart by its face. Yeah. What? I love that. Don't judge a heart by its face. That's true. Heart doesn't have a face. Well, not literally, but you know what you mean. Good point. Grim Grimmer Grimmest is a Pena Original Production.
Created, written, and narrated by me, Adam Gidwitz. Author of A Tale, Dark and Grim. Co-written by Ali Horne. Produced and edited by Ilana Milner. Casting by Paula Gammon Wilson. Voice direction by Alana Milner and Paula Gammon-Wilson. Sound design and mixing by Beat Street NYC. Executive produced by Anne Richards. Production support by Ashley Beecher and Thaddeus Danqua. Characters voiced by Alison Lee Rosenfeld. And Rob Moreira.
Special thanks to all the kids who joined us for our storytelling sessions. You guys are awesome. I'm Alexis Ohanian. You may know me as one of the co-founders of Reddit, but more recently, a large part of my identity is being a father to my two wonderful daughters. In my podcast, Business Dad,
I'm hoping to open up the conversation about balancing careers and family. The one thing I constantly hear successful people say, without fail, is that they wish they'd spent more time with their kids. That's time no one can get back. So I decided to create Business Dad to engage in the conversation about how we're spending our time now, providing a forum for successful dads to share their joys and challenges of being a working parent.
You'll get to hear from a wide range of business dads, from Rainn Wilson and Guy Raz to Todd Carmichael and Shane Battier. And while this podcast will talk about business and will definitely be featuring dads, I think everyone can learn something from these incredible conversations as we unpack the expectations we all have about careers, relationships, and ourselves. So be sure to listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.