Hi, I'm Alexis Ohanian. You may know me as one of the co-founders of Reddit, but more recently, a large part of my identity is being a father to my wonderful daughters. In my podcast, Business Dad, I hope to open the conversation about working parents a bit. You'll get to hear from a wide range of business dads, from Rainn Wilson and Guy Raz to Todd Carmichael and Shane Battier.
to find out how they balance being a dad with a successful career. Business Dad is available now, so be sure to listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Adam Gidwitz. I'm an author. I'm also a storyteller. I like telling all kinds of stories, but I especially like telling grim fairy tales. You may think you know grim fairy tales.
And you may think that they are sweet and boring. But listen, those tales you heard were the cute, happy, little kid bedtime versions of the grim tales. The original grim fairy tales aren't like that at all. They're weird and sometimes gross and often scary. In other words, they're grim. And I'm about to host a virtual storytelling session and tell one of the original grim, grim tales.
to a bunch of kids. Do you want to join me? Do you want to hear a grim fairy tale? I don't know if you said yes or no because I can't hear you. So let me help you decide. On a scale of grim, grimmer, and grimmest, this story is grim. There's a very mean mom, some very hard times, and a very exciting adventure. If I get to a part of the story and you start to feel scared or uncomfortable, this is what you could do. You could turn down the volume and count to five. Then turn the volume back up.
If it still seems like a part you don't want to hear, turn it down and count to five again. You know how much weird and gross and scary you're ready for. You know what you need. Okay. I'm about to join the session. There are kids inside waiting to hear a grim fairy tale. So, are you coming in? Grim. Grimmer. Grimace. What's this story called today? Is there blood?
not a ton of blood. You'll see. I know. I want blood. Alright, let's get to the story. This story is based on a tale by the Brothers Grimm. And it is called... No eyes, one eye, two eyes, three eyes. What? Yeah. Once upon a time, a mother gave birth to four daughters, all at the same time. Quadruplet girls. Oh, goodness! Goodness, I know. That's probably what she said. She was like, goodness! Well, quadruplets are rare enough, but these girls were especially unique.
You see, one of them looked like most people, with two eyes in the places you usually find two eyes. But the other girls were different. One girl had one enormous eye, right in the middle of her forehead. Another had three eyes. two where they usually go, and a third right above them. And the fourth girl had no eyes at all. Monsters. Now, you said monsters. Do you all agree with that or do you disagree with that? I'm saying I don't agree.
I'm saying I do agree. You do agree that they're monsters? They're not monsters. To be a monster, you have to be kind of evil and cruel and villainous. So that was a really interesting comment. That what makes you monstrous is how you choose to behave, how you treat people. What if these are just really nice people with a bunch of eyes? With a bunch of eyes, who look differently. Or...
Or a not bunch of eyes. Or no eyes in that case, yes. With different kinds of eyes. Do you think it's possible that these people with different amounts of eyes are nice or not likely? What do you just assume? I don't have an assumption. Okay, you don't have an assumption. You're open to whatever it turns out to be. Is that right? That's a good way to live life. The mother, who was not very creative when it came to naming children, called them no eyes, one eye.
two eyes, and three eyes. Terrible names. Terrible names. Yeah. Okay, why are those bad names? It's boring. It's like calling me boy. Boy, right. You know... Also, I think it's not great to call people names based on the way that they're different. Yeah, that's what I was trying to explain. Like, you wouldn't call me Mr. Unbelievably Handsome, even though I am. You are not handsome. That's not a joke. You are not handsome. You are not handsome. Wow, thanks.
So this mother had four daughters, no eyes, one eye, two eyes, and three eyes. Now, normally, a mother should love all of her children, no matter what. But this mother, in addition to being a bad namer of kids, was also not a great mom. You see... This mother loved Two Eyes more than all her other daughters, because Two Eyes looked like she expected a child to look. And this mother made no secret of how she felt. She was always telling Two Eyes,
You're so beautiful. You look just like I expected a child to look. And the three other girls? Well, this mother pretty much pretended they didn't exist. That's rude. Mean. Right? That's really not a nice way for a mother to treat her children. As the four girls grew up, they all grew to be very beautiful, each in their own way. But Two Eyes was beautiful in the most ordinary and typical style. And so everyone praised her for it. The neighbors would gush.
What a good-looking girl! What a beauty she is. Just like we expected a child to look. How does the sister two-eyed feel about how the mother's treating her sister? Is she like very mean and spoiled or is she sweet? That's a wonderful question. If she is a spoiled brat, the other three are going to be really nice and kind but a little bit depressed. Or if she turns out to be kind, the other three are jealous.
Evil. Interesting. Well, since the mother gave all her attention to Two Eyes, Two Eyes grew up thinking that she was better than her sisters, and she gave them less and less attention, too. Whenever her mother was cruel to them or acted like they didn't exist. Come on, two-byes. I hear there are new dresses at the shop. Let's go find something that you'll look stunning in. You and me, let's go.
Well, two eyes pretended that she didn't see that her sisters were being ignored. Okay, coming mother. And you can imagine how that made no eyes, one eye, and three eyes feel. Sad. It made them feel really sad. I want a new dress. Me too. I don't. But I wouldn't mind being invited. But while no eyes, one eye, and three eyes were neglected by their mother...
They were discovering some rather interesting things about themselves. One eye realized that she could focus her one great eye like a telescope and could see incredible distances. One day, as the three girls were walking along the town path, one eye turned to her sisters and said, Look at that beautiful rainbow! Three eyes scanned the horizon. Where? Just over there! In the next kingdom! Uh...
You can see into the next kingdom? And Three Eyes realized that, with her three eyes, she could see incredibly well in total darkness. One evening, as the three girls were getting ready for bed, one eye turned to her sisters and said, It's late. I'm going to blow out the candle. Okay, I'll keep reading, said three eyes. But...
I just blew out the candle, said one eye. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. But it's pitch black in here. Shh, I'm at the good part. But of all the sisters, no eyes might have had the most surprising ability of all. You see, sometimes she had strange dreams. And those strange dreams would always come true. I had one of my strange dreams. What was it this time? Tell us!
Please, please tell us. I dreamt that one of you was going to throw up today. Oh, no. Was it me? Or won I? I'm not telling. Oh, come on. Not fair. OK, fine. It was one eye. It was me. That's her way to see. She sees the future. Oh, I love that. You're right. That is her way to see. She sees the future.
Life went on like this. Their mother paid attention to two eyes, and everyone fawned all over her, while the other three sisters were completely ignored and free to explore their very special abilities. um even though two eyes were being mean twice might have liked just thought she might lose her mother's attention and she might have been used to it and she hasn't ever like
lost her mother's attention and being on her own. Interesting. What you're saying is maybe she wasn't really cruel. She just really wanted to keep her mother's attention and was afraid of losing it. That's very interesting. So I feel like even if the sister, even if the sister didn't really be mean to them, just being a witness and not doing anything makes her her mom's accomplice. I think that's so true.
Eventually, the girls grew, as girls will, into young women. And then, one night, No Eyes dreamt that something wonderful would happen to two eyes, and something awful would happen to the rest of them. Oh, no. No, Ice. Are you okay? Did you have another dream? What was it? I dreamt that the prince of this kingdom would want to marry Two-Eyes and... And we would be sent away. Sent away? What? Mother wouldn't, why? But it happened just as no eyes dreamt it would.
The very next day, the young women learned that the prince was riding through all the villages of the kingdom in search of the right young woman to marry. Well, their mother was very excited. It could be you, Two Eyes. Quick, we must get you ready. Their mother began to dress Two Eyes in the finest clothes and drape her in the most glittering jewelry they owned. One Eye, remembering her sister's dream.
Cautiously asked. What should we do, Mother? Can we help? But their mother responded. Help? Are you kidding? If the prince saw you, he'd probably scream and run away. In fact, that's just what he'd do. So get lost. Get out of here. And if you never come back, it'll be too soon. Boat. She's a horrible person. Yeah. You know what I will say?
I would be like, you are beautiful. You are different. You are not like the other people. Yes. Amen. That's what the mom should have said. But she didn't. And two eyes. Well, two eyes didn't say a word. She just kept getting ready for the prince.
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How would that make you feel if you were one of the other sisters? No eyes, one eye, or three eyes? I would feel very depressed and like that my mom doesn't love me because I'm different. Or unique. I would want revenge. Revenge. Revenge is inevitable. Well, their mother had told no eyes, one eye, and three eyes to get lost. And since they were pretty much grown now, and they were sick of being treated like they were worth less than two eyes, they...
did not decide to get revenge. They decided instead to set out into the world on their own. No eyes, one eye, and three eyes wandered down long, lonely roads, out of their own kingdom and through many others, begging for food, shelter, or little work to do. But no matter where they went, it was always hard for them.
The people they met were afraid of these young women who looked so different from everyone else. No one would take them in or give them more than a crust of bread. And pretty soon, they began to starve. One night, as they lay in a field under the stars, shivering from the cold and aching with hunger, No Eyes had another strange dream. When she awoke, she said,
I had a dream that the prince and two eyes will marry tomorrow. And I dreamt that she and our mother will go and live in the palace as royalty. This made the sisters a little angry and more than a little jealous. Three eyes said. Maybe we should go to the palace and ask to rejoin our family. Or work in the kitchens. Or something. Wandering out here like this? I'm pretty sure we're gonna starve to death.
But One-Eye wouldn't hear of it. No way! Why should we bother with them? Her mother never cared about us anyway. And then One-Eye had a new idea. Why don't we stop wandering around like we've got nothing worthwhile to do and make our own good fortune? We're special, so let's be special! The sisters loved that idea. Yeah!
What are we waiting for? But then No Eyes asked, What should we do? Who has an idea about how they could make their fortune in the world? No Eyes could become a fortune teller. Okay, because she has dreams of the future. Love it. When I could become like a mountaineer or something, like a guide, a mountain guide. A scout. A scout or a mountaineer or a guide. A telescope. A telescope user. Okay, because she can see so far. Yes.
and then what about three eyes three eyes um what's your power again she can see in the dark right you can see in the dark night vision she could be a ghost a ghost tour guide ghost tour guide yes Well, the young women thought about how they could make their fortune. Three Eyes had the first idea. Well, I can see awfully well in the dark. Maybe I could become a thief catcher and prevent thieves and robbers from committing crimes in the dark of night. One eye said, I can see awfully far.
Maybe I should become a navigator and guide ships on the open sea. And when I look through the telescopes, I'll see any trouble on the horizon, no matter how far away. And No Eyes said, I have strange dreams that always seem to come true. Maybe I should become a fortune teller and tell people's futures. You guys pretty much nailed it.
Still like the ghost hunter idea. Well, each young woman began to learn her new profession. And sure enough, Three Eyes soon became the best thief catcher in the land. and OneEye became the greatest navigator on the seas, and NoEyes became the best fortune teller in the world. They were living now in a kingdom far away from where they had grown up.
And while the people of that kingdom were, at first, unwelcoming and unfair to these different-looking young women, just as the people in their own land had been, well... Soon each sister was so skilled, so brilliant at her profession, that the people's prejudices fell away. Soon no thief would attempt to rob a home anywhere in the kingdom, for fear that Three Eyes would spy them in the dark and drag them to prison. Almost got the lock undone. Here it goes.
Ha ha, got ya! No! No ship would take on an important journey without begging One-Eye to navigate. We are venturing on a perilous journey. We ask you, One-Eye, to come with us on our voyage. Otherwise, we'll never survive. And no one would make any major decision without consulting Noyes first. So, Timmy asked me to marry him, but I kind of like Bobby. And I think Jimmy might ask me, so what should I do? But doesn't it only work for you? I don't think so. She can't do it on command. Yeah.
So she'd have to be... Okay, so come back tomorrow and you'll have your fortune total. We'll see if I had a dream about you. Yeah, that's a good point. Okay. Come back tomorrow. I'll let you know if I dream of Timmy or Bobby or Johnny. Jimmy! Oh, right. Jimmy. Next. All went well for the three sisters. Until one morning. when No Eyes awoke from a terrifying dream. Their sister, Two Eyes, was in terrible peril. At any moment, a dragon was going to visit Two Eyes' kingdom.
and attack the palace and steal her away. Yay! Like we would go save them. Do you say you do or you don't want them to go save her? No. No. Save them. When No Eyes told her sisters about her dream, they all reacted differently. No Eyes herself was worried for her sister. We should try to rescue her. Three Eyes wasn't worried. She was still furiously angry at Two Eyes.
Are you kidding? She was perfectly happy for us to be cast out of our family just so she had a chance to marry a prince. I hope that dragon eats her liver. Very slowly. One eye was torn. I still love our sister, but why should we risk our lives to save her from a dragon when she didn't lift a finger to help us? Because you are good people. Because you're good people. That's true. Interesting. All right. I would like to hear, do you think they should try to help her or not?
I feel like they shouldn't help her because she didn't help them when their mom was being rude to them. And she didn't stand up for them. Yeah, more than rude. Cruel, right? Cruel, yeah. So why should they go and fight a dragon just so they can have that happen to them all over again? Interesting. Maybe I would help her. Okay, because? Because maybe their mom will think differently, and also if you don't help her, she would be a bad person. Interesting. I'm torn, but I think I'm...
I think I'm more on the side of no eyes. I think that even though she hasn't been nice to them, they should still be nice to her because that's just the kind of people they are. Very interesting. Well, let's find out what they decide. The sisters talked about it all day without making a decision. That night, Nowise had another dream.
In it, the dragon was attacking the palace and kidnapping the princess. The prince then offered a great reward to anyone who rescued her. He made an announcement that if anyone could bring Two Eyes back alive, he would give them one quarter. Quick math question. How many quarters does a kingdom have? Four. Two. Four quarters. Four quarters. Yay! I just guessed. I just guessed. You guessed and you were right.
Because there's four quarters in any one thing, right? Yes. When the young women awoke, no eyes told them about her new dream. All that day, the three sisters argued about whether they should try to find the dragon, rescue their sister Two Eyes, and bring her back to the prince. No Eyes said, Yes, we should save her. Three Eyes said, No way! Let her get eaten by the dragon. And one eye couldn't make up her mind. I agree with no eyes. No. Three eyes. No. No eyes? I don't know.
That night, No Eyes had a third dream. She dreamt of her sister Two Eyes being held captive by a dragon on a barren island in the middle of an empty sea. Two Eyes was suffering terribly. She was cold and scared and starving. Well, now she knows how her sister felt. Yes, now Two Eyes knows how her sisters felt. Empathy. Maybe she'll learn some empathy, you're right.
When No Eyes awoke the next morning, she could take it no longer. That's it. We're gonna find her, and we're gonna rescue her. And when No Eyes put her foot down like that, her sisters knew better than to argue. So... They made a plan. I know it's going to happen. I know it's going to happen. They're all going to use their powers in different ways and probably defeat the dragon like how they're using their powers. Interesting. I have a feeling in my gut.
No Eyes, One Eye, and Three Eyes climbed to the top of the highest hill in the kingdom. Now, in her third dream, No Eyes had seen a cave on a rocky, barren island in the middle of the ocean. So one eye took out her navigator's telescope and put it up to her one enormous eye. This way she could see ten times as far as any other navigator.
She scanned the waves for any sign of a rocky island like the one in Nowise's dream. But she couldn't find it. I see all the ships on the sea and every sailor on their decks, but I don't see rocky islands like the one from Nowise's dream. So they got into a small ship, and they sailed the seven seas, looking for the dragon island. One eye scanned the waves for the island, but the first sea was empty, and the second sea was empty.
was empty. And the third sea was empty. And the fourth sea was empty. And the fifth sea was empty. And the sixth sea was empty. The seventh sea has not. is not empty. And just when they had explored the very last corner of the Seventh Sea... They found the island! There, through her telescope, at the very farthest edge of her vision, one eye spotted an island.
Rocky and barren, just like no eyes had seen in her dream. The sisters stayed far away from the island and waited until the sun set. Then they sailed up to the rocks at the water's edge. The moon was behind clouds, and the night was pitch black. Okay, so whose turn is it to help now? The three eyes. Three eyes' turn. Why? Because three eyes can see in the dark. Yes. Now, who's done each job so far? Who started the journey?
No, I started because she made them do all this. She had the dream and made them do it. And then who helped them find the island? One eye. And now whose turn is it now that it's dark out? Three eyes. You got it. Three eyes crawled out of the boat, onto the rocks of the island, and crept through the darkness until she found the entrance to an enormous cave. She walked as quietly as a master thief-catcher should.
and she snuck into the cave. There, in a great nest of seaweed and stones, lay a dragon. It had emerald and blue scales, and each claw on each foot was as large as a dog, and its teeth were each as tall as a man. But luckily, it was asleep. And in the dragon's nest... Also asleep was two eyes. And I would love to tell you what happens next. But we're out of time today. I'll just have to tell you next time.
One eye, two eyes, three eyes, part two. I am devastated. You're devastated. I'm so glad to hear that. What just happened? My tooth came out. What? Just now? Yes, just now. Congratulations, that's amazing. Grim Grimmer Grimmest is a Pinna Original Production. Created, written, and narrated by me, Adam Gidwitz. Author of A Tale, Dark and Grim. Co-written by Ali Horne. Produced and edited by Ilana Milner. Casting by Paula Gammon Wilson.
Voice direction by Alana Milner and Paula Gammon-Wilson. Sound design and mixing by Beat Street NYC. Executive produced by Anne Richards. Production support by Ashley Beecher and Thaddeus Danqua. Characters voiced by Alison Lee Rosenfeld. Aaron Bass, Billy Bob Thompson, Kat Protano, Sanofia Mitchell, Colin Ryan, Dylan Jones, Erica Schroeder, Kaylin Clinton, Kylie Claxton, Lori Hines, Michael Crouch, Mike Pollock, Nicholas Korda, and Rob Moreira.
Special thanks to all the kids who joined us for our storytelling sessions. You guys are awesome. The Boar Knight, a fantasy musical podcast suitable for all ages. Brought to you by Fool and Scholar Productions. Follow Nathaniel the Boar Knight and the friends he meets along his journey as he's bitten by a wereman and must break the curse before the full moon. Listen to The Boar Knight wherever you get your podcasts or learn more at foolandscholar.com.