My secret shame.

Losing a child is traumatic and the triggers from this trauma last a lifetime. Today, I discuss a significant trigger from my own grief experience that took me down the rabbit hole of grief last week. Not only did I get triggered but all the shame, guilt, and regret I had from Christopher's death was reexperienced all over again.

Getting stuck in grief is a common problem that many people experience when they are grieving. My secret shame was a place where I got stuck for many years. Listen in as I discuss what my secret shame was when Christopher died and why I am coming clean now. 

Biography

 I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.

It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.

I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.

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