Grief changed my relationships.

Two weeks ago I was lucky enough to go to the Pacific Northwest. It was an amazing trip. I swear there was something magical in the air where I was at. Of course, I said that out loud to my peers.  Often times I am not aware that some of the things that I say set me apart as being "different" until I say it. This was one of those times.

During this trip, I met some new friends. As we went through the get to know you phase of a new friendship, I experienced a feeling of extreme fear. For the first time since Christopher died, I was allowing myself to be "seen" as I truly was. I keep this facade up all of the time with everyone. It has evolved over time, but it is a place I feel safe. As I processed this experience of allowing myself to be seen, I began to realize how much Christopher's death has changed my relationships with myself and the rest of the world. Listen in as I discuss these changes in today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs. 

Biography:

I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.

It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.

I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.

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