A Grieving Mother's Grief on their Child's Birthday

May 27th, 2023 is Christopher's 37th birthday. It is the day I became a mother so many years ago. Now it is a day that brings both sadness and happiness. I am happy that I can remember Christopher and all the joy he brought to my life. But, I am also sad because he is dead. The nightmares have started as my brain tries to cope with the feelings that always run underneath my thoughts this time of year. I often wish I could see him as he would have been at 37 years old. How would he look? How would I be if he hadn't died? These thoughts and much more race through my mind. Concentrating the closer it gets to Saturday will become harder and harder. I become more irritable and sad. There is no cure. I can only get through it. In addition, to his birthday May 27th is the day he found out he had Hodgekins Lymphoma stage 3 B. It is the last day I talked to him. He died three weeks later on June 19, 2011. Listen in as I talk about how I survive the next three weeks.

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Biography:

I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.

It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.

I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.

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