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On the Size, We all on the ways the loudest right by the same long we stand as one Looplin had stripe down the pole and protect this land. Oh it's all father seer voice, guide our souls to the sacred rhythm.
Frick, Queen of the hat Fus Home, would look.
At grace Vegas holes.
With your fire might guide a food the top night.
Misterss's life, Fanta show us the with every breath, cry out and lot we honor you know and forever more photos to lisus.
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We say fly away locals.
Last, Now, please listen, spers rise on the windsaspring gas for we trusts.
All.
Right here we are back again on the Gray Armed Pagans Podcast with a new guest. I mean you, you jumped in on one that I did with with fire Fae the other day. But this is our first first one on one actually, so dude, thanks for joining. Of course, it's good to do a it's good to do one one on one. I mean we've been talking a lot in different groups, two of which now defunct.
Well well yeah, well for me one just one.
Wow, you're still welcome.
That was my first group. Yeah, that was my first group.
Oh you're still welcoming the other?
Wow?
Okay, wait which one?
Both?
Because I believe.
Both gods on the spectrum and unchained are now.
It's never on unchained you were never what okay, I'm not allowed there?
Oh ship, dude, what did you do?
I'm just me. No, I never got an invite and it was better off I guess you know. I was even kicked out of the church.
Yeah, the unchained uncha.
Well, because there was a church on Sundays. Yeah wow, So I I joined a few, like one day it was fine, and the second day it was another host and then I couldn't even join. They came with the benefit of the doubt because it was towards the end of the session, right, So yeah, Yostin and were speaking like, oh maybe because we're logging off soon. Okay, But now after seeing all this okay, Yeah, it's it's just weird how people will just reject someone based on actually don't even know them.
Yeah, I mean I got into those groups via ghost of course, like he seems to be the main man to like get everyone in for some reason. I guess that's you know, part of his vampire skills. But like, yeah, Gods on the Spectrum, it was cool, you know, Snake made a lot of promises and then unchained Church, Unchained, Legion, unchained something. They changed names so much and it was like, you know, that felt like like the big leagues.
And then all of a sudden, it's like, hey, where did what?
What? What happened? Like I couldn't and the Gods on the Spectrum group anymore? My message Snake, like a bro, what happened? I'm still to this day waiting for an answer.
Never go.
And then it got kicked out of the Unchained as well. And it's probably because we're independent thinkers and we don't like to, you know, follow other people.
It wasn't that the whole point of that group to supposedly, Yeah, I'm not even gonna entertain how people think. No, it's not my business.
No, you shouldn't and you know, you're like you're you're doing your own own thing now. I mean like we completely skipped the introduction, you know, like we just went into.
It right away. But I mean I don't do interest myself because I don't want to narradate the how people should see the guests. I want the guests to reveal who they are.
Yeah, no, of course, but you know they they got to have, you know, like some idea of like who you are, what do you do? Where can the people just basically your tender bio, you know, or grinder?
I don't know where that is good. I haven't. No, I haven't had a dating app since maybe maybe well maybe almost close to twenty years.
Anyways, there were dating apps twenty years ago.
Dude, I was thirteen, Like, come on, there are dinosaurs I do exist.
Don't about the mister media full of people or no else media that is even like dinosaurs who exist? Oh that's the first, ladies and gentlemen. The first one, the grand old Pagan's podcast Life Living Dinosaur.
No.
Yeah, I'm notes in. I'm from La. That's it. I did. My podcast Life is a dream that doesn't awakening. I know. It's a weird title. But because I have that tattooed on me, I'm on the gate cool. Yeah, yeah, that's why it ended that, because you know, I was you know, I was friends with other podcasters and then they're like, oh, we should get these tattoos for based on a podcast, and you're not gonna do that. No one really does that. So because I have this tattoo, like wait, that's gonna
be the title. It's in Spanish backwards, so it's in a mirror. Lavidas la mar. Yeah, so life is a dream that it's an awakening. I always love that and going to my spiritual journey and like, yeah, I think you have to kill something in you to come up with new ideas or kill a thought even Yeah, that's.
Just that's that's the age old self sacrifice part.
You know, yes, you see that.
There's so many religions or spiritual paths. You know, it's self sacrifice. You have to sacrifice something of yourself to like kill the old to make room for the new.
You know, like Voton did it.
You know, he sacrificed so much and did so much little nasty shit as well, but you know, now he is the wisest and most powerful of all the gods. You know, he sacrificed himself to himself. I'm going to win swept Tree for nine days and nine nights as so too or no. Because he did that, he managed to discover the magic of the ruins, and that's, you know, a very powerful form of magic, especially here in Northern Europe as zella.
Reincarnation, as you think yourself.
God, big questions right away, I don't I don't know. I never thought about like what reincarnation is or how it's works. I've heard several theories about it. The one that's I think is the most most peculiar to think about is that, you know how they say that when you die, like you see a bright light, like at
the light at the end of the tunnel. There are people who say that like light that you see is you being reborn, you know, coming out of a new mother's womb, if you will, Like that is the first light you see. Which what kind of mean that, like reincarnation is instantaneous. I'm not too sure about that. I have a brother on the other side of the veil, unfortunately, and I know that he is still around. He hasn't you know, passed on if you will. I don't know.
Like reincarnation, A lot of people will say I believe that's more of a new age way of thinking. That you're well now, reincarnation is ancient. You know, many many religions and spiritual paths believe in the existence of reincarnation,
but that our souls make a choice like that. You know, the life that you live is chosen beforehand, and that your your soul, your essence, your life energy, made the choice to live that life before reincarnating in this physical body, so that you can learn all the lessons that you are supposed to learn because you haven't learned those in a previous life or something. I don't know. There are many theories. I don't know which one is sure.
I said this just now in the group. I think truth is between you and God. Everything else is speculation and philosophy. But you could think of what could be. Let's say we go in a room us two and one of us sees God. You're never gonna know. Well, let's say I do. You're not gonna know, right, You're just gonna you believe me or you don't. Yeah, So it's between me and God, and I think I'm not supposed to tell people because again, that's between me and God.
People are not gonna believe me, and then eventually it could be viral. Right ah, yeah, I talk to God. I think that loses its purpose because it's between us. It's not supposed to be between the whole world or even the third person. Okay, how will you know? All you have to do is trust me? Right, you can just go by what I'm telling you trust you know, Yeah, it's trust the science God. Please no, never again.
Oh that's a good one actually. Like, so in your like, in your view the.
The divine, if you will, let's take it very broadly. The divine is a personal experience or like, would you say that you know God? I have multiple of course, but you know that God is the same God for everyone, right.
The source right where everything comes from. Because going back to the light that you said, when someone has life near that experience and the I saw that light when I discovered God and not and die. I'm still here. Yeah, sure, America, that inside. But that's what's so embarrassing now. When I discovered how the flower you know, but it wasn't even that.
It was the fact that I discovered the anthisicist of the truth, right, the globe model I felt for like the opposition of that which is the flat earth, and like, oh shit, can't believe this is the truth. But it wasn't even that. It's it's the between both, like the fact that I could I knew how mind control works. If they make me think that there's a globe, they can make me think anything.
They can make you believe it's flat.
Yes, and they did. But then again I was like, wait, why why am I falling for this an phisicists. That doesn't mean it's true. It's a new discovery for me, yes, yeah, but it doesn't make it so doesn't mean it's truth. And that's when I was started reading the Bible too, and it's like, wait, you're still telling me what you think I'm reading something and that's playing with my mind. Yeah, so it's not different.
I mean, that's why I have to be very careful when you know, reading and thinking about these these things, because there are so many people who are stuck in one particular kind of kind of belief, like one way of thinking that for them is the absolute and ultimate truth.
And that may be the case for them, and it's it's something.
That's something that I got in with Matt and Dean Blackwell on the live stream that we did. Yes, like there is no such thing really as absolute truth, Like there are some things that are set in stone, because like what Matt was arguing is that because of certain events that are like very bad in nature, you know, he grew because of it, so he was better off afterwards. So for him they were good, so therefore it's a
good experience. And myself and Todd, I'm like, well, we try to argue that, Okay, that may be the case for you, but just because you were better off for it, doesn't mean that it was a good experience, Like it's still fucking bad.
No, no, no, no, you know, but you know, subjectively personally it was good.
Like what can be good for you can be bad for me and vice versa. And it's like, no, there is still such a thing.
As like ultimate bad, ultimate good or by the way around, I guess I think a lot of people say things personally because it happened to me, therefore it is. Yeah, for example, COVID. You know, I think we all most most of us agree that it was an agenda behind it to make money, to get rid of people. Whatever, it's not. It wasn't just the virus that was came out of nowhere.
It was much much more than that it or was a virus at all.
Right, So I'm still trying to wake people up from that in my circle, because there's people that are therapists around me. They just believe in the whole. They believe what they're told. Right, And because I got COVID, I almost died from COVID, I could easily say, see it is true, I almost die from it. Therefore it's true. But we have to sit back and say, look, this is I'm just like the one percent. Yeah, so I could easily take it personally, make it, make it about me.
See it did happen. I was a victim to it. Therefore it's true what they're telling us. No, So I think a lot of people take things personally, even communism. I still don't know much about the topic, but some again, it's always something able to kill something, right.
Killed about ninety million people, So you could say it's a it's a pretty.
Okay, but this they know. But I see they say the same thing about COVID and.
World War Two, although the number is a bit lower.
But see that that's my thing. I feel alone because like you just said, well, yeah, because they killed ninety thousand people, ninety million you said ninety mili, Yeah, we will never know.
Like that.
That's why I'm saying history repeats itself. They're doing the same thing.
Yeah, okay, I mean the same thanks time.
That's why I'm so discried, And that's why I don't like history. I don't know. It doesn't matter what happened, because I will never know. I'm not gonna fault for that. I'm seeing it in front of my eyes. Why am I gonna believe a boot or an article even someone said the video about a certain group of people that are evil. Okay, great presentation, but that's not If anybody could put a video together and try to push a narrative.
Especially with the rise of generative AI, exactly, rings can very easily be manipulated and fabricated.
Well, see, it's happening in front of our eyes, So why can't we question?
Because you're not supposed to.
That's and that's the whole reason.
You know, it's set instant. This happened, this, this and this and that's it.
You know, But even I know, But even just now you just said, well, yeah, people die being able to communism.
That's the yeah, of course, o god, according.
To Okay exactly yeah, no, yeah.
True, true.
I mean, like who knows if that is the actual number. I mean, that is the number that we have been given in the history books. Then again, history is always written by the victor, you know, so it's and every history book ever has been twisted to fit some kind of narrative, whether it be like a group narrative, a personal narrative, a political narrative, the like actual history. Yeah, I'll agree with you, Like actual history, what actually happened. We will never know.
We have accounts from different people what happened.
But you know, he will say it happened this way. He will say it happened that way, and she will say no, no, no, both of them are wrong because it happened this way.
What's true even in the Bible, right, the book according to John and the book according to Matthew. It's according to the person.
Yeah, so someone else, someone else heard it and wrote it down. You know, it's like a secondhand story, if you will. I heard someone tell me this, so I decided to write it down. Mm hmm but you know, like I I still maybe I mayst remember things, maybe I heard certain things that you know, I thought were said, but it's not what was actually said. Yeah, it's it's it's true.
So yes, that's why I'm just I'm like, I listened to all these podcasters. Oh you know what the but the new media, what the new form of fake news is mm hmm podcasters. Yeah, we just spread shit.
It's true, that's true.
And because I can't believe we're like two podcasters here shipping on podcasts.
But that's why I haven't. I haven't no, because it's.
I get it, like it's such a like open source of media and still so relatively new, and anyone can start a podcast. Doesn't mean that anyone should because there are podcasts out there that I'm like, really like, this is what they're gonna talk about.
Okay, you do you, but they also have a purpose for a certain persons stage and their awakening or sort of speak, because people are still stuck in the flow Earth. People are still Christians, people are still and you know, I don't know much about pagan so I'm not even going.
It's it's on the rise again. No, it actually is like the the old gods really have returned, and the people who going back to the roots of their ancestors are increasing and increasing well yearly.
So I do like the how there's an energy between things. Like It's funny because when I was going through I feel I think, I think I send this to the to the group I need to I need to learn love. So I want to talk to the love, the god of love. It's like something that I had to understand.
I mean, there are several pick one.
No, but I am I don't know if I call them gods or energy.
That's a good one. I mean there I I would say that the god form is created by man's so that we may better understand it that the gods have created us in their own image. Maybe the other way around as well. We kind of create have created this image of the gods as superhumans, if you will, Like they are kind of like us. They still have are like some of our flaws, but they're just like a like higher evolved version of us, a higher consciousness, a
higher form of energy. And I am myself, I'm leaning more towards the young and school of thinking, like that they are archetypes, you know, who represent a certain type of being who represent a certain type of energy, a certain type of living. You know, the dragon slayer, the lover, the wise old man, if you will, like those are archetypes, those are roles, and there are certain gods that we that we have ascribed those archetypes two or the other
way around. Perhaps I'm still kind of figuring that out, but I you know, because there are so many different a different kind of gods, but all of them seem to have things in common. So it makes more more sense if they are like the same energy, the same archetype, but maybe manifested differently. A big thank you to the sponsor of today's episode, Good Feels and their cannabis Seltzer. Cannabis Seltzer from Get good Feels is redefining refreshment with
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Yes, I think I like that roles because so I don't I think it's just humans. I don't believe in aliens. Is when I started reading the by what I believe, there was nettling all these things and I'm like, no, even dinosaurs are like wait, there's no dinosaurs, or there's no evolution. It's always been us. We do take different roles. For example, we create a group, we want to get different types of people that have different abilities. Yeah, so they're already in us those roles or those abilities or
those powers, whatever, you want to call them. So it's not that far, Petch. I think we go to this fantasy world where we have you seen the movie Big Fish? Long we talked about this and when my cameo when I little, anyways, that's more what.
Long long ago, but I I I remember it being the guy.
Is very dramatic. He blows things out of proportion, like notes, and he's that's funny. Okay, Well, let me think that I go to the gym. There's this little guy. I'm six too, This little guy, he's like a full grown man, but he's little. He was like indigenous. But wait, like to him, I'm a giant. To me, he's like a dwarf. So we already here, like.
You're already mythological beings to each other.
Yes, we all are, yes, exactly. And it always takes two. You can't know anything unless there's two of you. That's why he said it's between me and God or anybody in God. Okay, that's why even said in astrology, like I that's why I love a stology because I could think somebody's an asshole, but then somebody else know he's very strong minded or whatever. So it's always a it's gonna be a duality almost, but physically mentally, I don't know.
I think mentally like really can can vary, you know, like the mental spectrum like I am like on a day to day basis, I am not the same mentally, No, nobody is like, that's that's nature versus nurture. It's your surrounding. It's where you live, it's how you live. It's it's like so much. And yeah, there are certain factors that you can control, there are certain things that you can do, but you know, still a lot of it has to do with your immediate surrounding. That's why when I moved
some moved here back in April, almost most a year ago. Actually, I believe it's a fucking full year since I moved back here. You know, this is a where I live now. It's a smaller town. I grew up in the city for the last like ten years, like since I moved out, that's twenty. I always lived in the city. At twenty two, twenty three, I moved back to my hometown town where I was born. Big city, like very you know, busy and crowded and all of that. And I notice now,
like in just a year that this smaller town. It is doing so much for my mental health that you know, it's quiet, it's more quiet, it's more peaceful. There is just less here. And then when I you know, go back to the city because like my hometown, I still work there for the time being, every damn time on what get me the fuck out of here? Like I love my city, but holy shit, this is pressing.
Mental health. Yeah, another trigger for me because there's an agenda behind that, right.
There always is with everything.
Really yeah, but you can't we can't fall for it, like mental health. What there's no option as a man. You just gotta keep living and work.
But yeah, I mean that is you know, the the archetype of the man. You know, going back to the archetypes thing. You know, you're the you're the provider, you're the fighter, You're the head of the household. You know, you're the one who takes care of your wife so that she can take care of you know, of the children of the home, or you know, you're like your your partner in in your case. And you know, that's the archetype of the man. We're not supposed to like
show any emotions. We're supposed to work, fight and you know, take care of everyone, work, fight, provide, that's what we are supposed to do. Emotions I have no place in that because that takes away from the focus on, you know, all the things which.
I see as at a goal. Because you have to work hard to be able to be emotional. Yeah, it is.
Easier to close yourself off emotionally than to open up.
Yeah, but yes, but to me, that's a reward being able to be comfortable enough to be emotional. So I gotta take care of my ship first for me to be satisfied, and therefore I could express my emotions.
But that feeling of satisfaction, like, that's another goal post that you can keep pushing and pushing and pushing. It's like, okay, I reached this, cool, but it'd be even better and I'd feel even greater if I had to work. If I were to reach this, and then you're there because you know, you work your butt off, as man usually do. But then you're there and you're like, this is nice. I can go further, I can do more, so I'll be like fully satisfied if I reach not.
So that's that's I guess, always something new.
Especially for man. It's an ever moving goalpost, like you're never satisfied. It can always be bigger. You can always be more, always be grander, always be better.
You know.
It's kind of like that's that's how bodybuilders blow up.
You know.
I can always be bigger.
I can always be more symmetrical, you know, I can always have like more roundings, fuller, more as triation, more this, more that more. You know.
What, why can't have you been to the US once? Yeah? When are you coming back? Good question?
It's expensive, it's expensive as hell. Well, I do want to come back soon. I don't want to I want to be with my with my wife very much. Well, I mean, for sure Colorado, but there are other places that I would like to to go as well, other people that I would like to would like to visit, so kind of like up and down the East coast. I know, I know a couple that I'd like to visit, a couple on the West coast, of course, and probably just like chill somewhere in the middle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why I was in Mission No, the whole the nonprofit and hopefully that was the whole thing, to do a retreat where people could meet you know, yeah, oh.
Yeah, that'd be cool. I mean, I with the tribe. I have a similar thing.
With the Grove of Odin.
Of course, I don't really talk about it as much because I'm not as as involved as I would like to be. I should involve myself more.
Again, did you create that? It was?
Is my idea. Yes, but it was someone else's former moderator of mine and someone who I am kind of reconnecting with again who really got the ball rolling and filled in the paperwork.
And all of that.
And I'm still thinking of like kind of doing the same thing here in the in the Netherlands too, like at least have it registered and then like go go from there. But yeah, I mean that's that I want to do so much, but only so much hours in the day and I have a lot to a lot to work on, a lot to think about kids, evil acts, my wife of course, family here that I that I I want to look out for and take care of when they when.
They I always I always said, if if somebody talks about about a partner, you're not saying what you did wrong.
Mm hmmm.
So it's best to just say it didn't work out. Oh no, it.
Boy, I'm not going to go into that.
That's a that's a different kind of podcast. You know, I don't don't feel like trauma bonding right now. Well, no, that's yeah. So boy, you know, I think it's so funny that, like in the your group the other day, like you said, like you know, I'm not as well spoken as the rest of you, but dude, you vastly underestimate yourself, like you Well.
That's the aquarius, right. I don't see myself as being this. I don't see myself as other people see me.
So kind of like a permanent imposter syndrome.
Yeah, I mean it came to always hiding myself who I am, I want to be judged and which I'm to this day I'm being judged.
You know you'll always be judged. No, yes, not always, not always openly. But like even as you know, even so much as you know you're walking down the street, people who do not know you are like complete strangers who you know, just lay eyes upon you. They don't even know you, they'll never see you again, but just you know, the way that you look, the way that you that you act, the way that you you hold yourself, they'll judge you for it. Like just based on that split second.
Sure, and I have my my own I don't want to say judgments my own analysis of anybody also, but I think deep down, if you I do feel like God is disappointed of how people act. Sometimes I don't feel like it's me. It's like, man, it's like I'm the eyes of God. You know. It's like, oh man, that's why are people like this? It makes no sense.
It's time for another cataclysm.
Might say no, like I would be too if I were gone, And I'm just like looking down, looking, you know, down on mankind.
And like, what the fuck are you?
No?
Stop it?
This is not No, that's not what I created that for. What the fuck are you doing?
I'm just like, okay, because it's time for another flood.
There he goes, need to start over again. I fucked up again, apparently, Jesus. Yes, uh flo the volcano everything like it's new game.
Yes, yes, start from the beginning. It's always yeah, okay, Like maybe that's why I like the beginning back.
To square one, make make everyone rethink everything they ever did. It's like, was it really worth it?
I mean, look at where we are now.
And that's what led me to the procreation thing. I don't imagine there were no humans and and it's funny because I sent this in the group chat, like I was playing a Viada game and it goes to this new world and then I look, it's so peaceful, greenery, plants, animals that oh there's no humans. So that's why I said, maybe we're not. Once our soul well relieves the body, they're happy where whatever they are.
No, that's uh, I mean, that's that's uh I.
I get it.
I mean we saw that like during during the COVID years when you know, like no cars out on the streets, everyone was working from home and whatever. Nature started to fucking flourish again because we didn't you know, fucking racket as much as we did. And now everything is back to normal whatever normal. Maybe maybe it's the new normal. Who knows. And you know, like we're slowly but surely
going back to square fucking one. And it's like, guys, we're supposed to learn from events like this, you know, And that's why a whole lot of people are still working from home because they're like, well, I mean I did it for like two three years straight. Why would I go back to the office, Like clearly it's not necessary.
Yeah, but they're still working and they're not enjoying nature. Yeah no.
But the see, that's the thing.
When you're working from home in your own space, like you can truly do whatever you want, Like it saves you hours on the commute, you know. Like for example, the job that I have now delivering groceries, I'll be you know, doing security again by the end of this month, somebody in the march. But you know, it's like an
hour and a half commute like to and back. So if I could like just do this, you know, like podcasting, writing and whatever, have a creative job that I can do from this very desk, that already would save me three hours in a day for just the commute, okay, and those three hours, I mean I could in for another three hours. I could go to the gym for those three hours, I could take a walk, I could take a stroll just through town and like still have
an hour and a half two hours left. So it would save me money on the commute because I'm still paying for it, you know. Taking public transport it's pretty good here in the Netherlands, not fantastic, but you.
Know, I'm into trans different kind of public tea public transportation. I take public transportation like I take a bout myself. I think public transportation. So yeah, I enjoy and I enjoy trans.
Okay, cab it okay?
Yeah no, But like say me on money, it saves me on time, you know, it is money every week every day that I am able to save. It is time every day that I am able to save. So like, if there are so many people who you know, like can work from home, like just do zoom meetings and filing papers and reports and from them whatever, just shit that you can do from your computer, why would you go back to the office. Why would you sit in traffic for two fucking hours too? And back pay for gas?
Pay for this, pay for that, you know.
Oh no, that's why I don't drive. Why we have a car, but I don't drive it because I'm like, why am I paying like four hundred bucks a month for the stupid for this car spending gas insurance, which that when I discovered how the world runs, like this is a big ass scam. Yeah, paying monthly for a car that if I do get to an accident, if I choose to go through the insurance route, it's going to go up in premium, so might as well put out of pocket, which is like the pizza purpose of
paying for insurance. Yeah, so even then I'm like, actually, I'm like I was, I was even thinking of creating my insurance company and be look, it's not going to cover much. But because you have to have insurance, pay like twenty twenty five bucks a month, but it doesn't cover you, you're on your own, like be transparrent with people. That's when I was like, this is how you connect with people through good deeds, I think.
But that's that's the best that you can do. Like your mindset's reading the right mindset, Like the whole fucking system is corrupt. Okay, I'll do it myself. Yes, And that's what so many other people are doing. What's what so many other people are thinking, Like they have a nine to five mind nubbing, soul killing job, and you know they have like a psyche like this for example, you know, YouTube content creation, whatever it is. I've seen many video creators. The most recent one that I can
think of is Jess up the Shire. She does like a lot of Luther Rings themed stuff, like her whole channel is based on North Rings and some Real again and jrr jr rt Holkien and she had a she had a job like aside from like her channel, and then she I don't know, like she got sick or like she took like a couple of weeks of work or something and decided to like focus a full time on her channel. And she blew up, you know, like she's now at Oh god, I think like one hundred
and fifty thousand, I don't know some subscribers. You know, she's getting regular sponsorship deals and whatever. So hey, I do think.
I'm not sure, but you know, looking.
At the out of content that she is putting out now, I think she made it.
Into her full time job, which is still a.
Lot of work, you know. Like, yes, I have often said more recently so that you know, podcasting is my unpaid full time job, Like I may not always be recording, but I am so often doing.
Something, you know, looking for guests, look for guests.
Doing promo swaps, editing, uploading, you know, promoting, looking for sponsors. It's a whole lot of fucking work, and I am not getting paid for it in the slightest.
Why did you start podcasting from the beginning and what was it the purpose.
I've always needed a creative outlet, something that, especially something that I have control over, because I don't do well working for others, strong minded, strong willed, So like whenever I see things that I'm like, this could be better, I'll tell them. It's also the Dutch directness on the work of my favor. Not always it's like, hey, have you considered doing it that way?
And it all started.
It's funny, like as with so many things, it started during the COVID years, Like I lost my job. I was a I was a freelance cook. All restaurants closed, so I was out of a job, out of a salary because you know, freelance, no no work, no pay. And I started doing deliveries because you know, like everything
started to be delivery based. And at a certain point, like I heard, I listened to the same playlist, like music playlists every day, and at a certain point, I'm like, okay, you know what, I've heard my whole playlist like ten times today. Already I need something else. And like radio, it really was my thing I knew of, so like I kind of started listening to some some podcasts. I found out that there were podcasts to do with, you know,
Heathen Ree and the occults. It really started for me with my Third Eye and the occult rejects, and it's funny like now I can kind of count myself among those same circles, which is still weird to me. And I had my first guest spot on my Third Eye about Tartaria, like the whole Tartaria thing that's always been
like one of my favorite rabbit holes. I had like my laptop that you see in the background, no headphones, no mic, so just laptop mike horrendous of course, laptop cam horrendous, of course.
Humble beginnings.
And I liked that.
I liked I liked doing that, so you know, I came on for a second time and I was like, Yo, this is fun. I'm gonna do this myself because why not. You know, I have food control over it. It's creative endeavor. I can talk about shit that I like. So I'm just gonna do it. And I've been doing it now for I want to say, two coming up on three years, and I am fucking dedicated. You know, it's sometimes too dedicated, doing six shows in a weekend.
No it shows. I could I see that right away. You're a hard worker, you could tell.
Yeah, because I mean I actually enjoy I actually enjoy this.
I actually enjoy this.
So I'm gonna keep grinding until like I get I get paid, and then I'm just gonna keep grinding till it pays enough.
And then I'll, you know, I'll brunch.
Out do other things, Sonny, while you were talking, because I've learned to trust my mind, what thoughts come to my mind. I think that's how religion started, right, that's we're one. But then there's no let's let me do it my way like a pot like even me. That's how I created my podcast and like these people replating the same thing, I'm having different thoughts. Let me do my own. And now there's so many podcasts. There's so many podcasts. Yeah, like with them may think of religion,
there's different branches. Yeah, okay, so I think we have to refocus and oh, there you go. That's what evolution is, the real evolution, your evolution. You're your thought right, your thought process. Because I'm getting maybe you're you just want to do your own because that's how I started my own. I wanted to. It was like a journal for me for my growth. Yeah, just talking. That's so I don't have thirty four thirty five episodes. I'm like, I don't.
I'm taking a pause, right because and actually you're no, you're the second one I've done since probably in one. But yeah, anyways, I think that's what was it going. Yeah, I think maybe that's for so many religions, so many branches even now, I mean, doing a nonprofit and like when there's so many already, why can't join them? But because is it a trust thing? Or well, because you want to create your own group you trust.
And be and like be in control of it. Because I think that is especially in these more modern times, let's say the last I want to say, like the last fifteen twenty years or so, like we've really seen that, you know, the people who are in power or you know, with perceived power at least can't trust them or you know, like they say they're they're.
Doing one thing because oh, you know, like bad people there.
But then it's like no, they were actually doing it for a whole other reason and they just they needed escapegoat, so they made escapegoat. So I'm just gonna do it myself. I mean, that's that's also why I started the drive
of the Ground Pagans. I've been in so many like pagan groups, pagan focused groups, Heathen Viking whatever, and you know, always been well received, but it always went down the drink for some reason, especially when ego came into play, you know, when it stopped being about the group and started being about one person or you know.
Like a couple of people in particular.
Every time the downfall, and I was sick and tired of like, Okay, I'll find a new group, I guess, and I hope that they don't fucking falter. I got so tired of it together with you know, with my wife, because wherever I go, she goes as well.
She is mean ship.
She may be four foot eleven, my god, damn, she's a spitfire. Well I got so fucking tired of that that I was just like, like, just like with the podcast, I was like, you know what, I'll fucking do it myself. So I started the tribe with the Grand Pagans. We've had her ups and downs. It hasn't always been easy, you know, We've had many many forms, if you will,
but it's always been about the same thing. It's always been about coming together connecting with each other, learning from each other, having you know, as many different archetypes characterists, people from different spiritual paths and beliefs in one place so that we may learn. That's what the tribe was about.
I wanted to create a open space for everyone to just come together and like just have two basic basic rules, like there are no taboos aside from the you know, like actual horrendous stuff, you know, like the pddy kind of stuff, you know, the things that those upper echelon people do.
But the sexual war bar and stuff, that's a no fucking go.
You don't know that's happening, you don't know, not openly in the tribe. Let's let's just put it whatever you do in your private life, I see, I don't. I don't want to know, Like, don't tell me, do you.
That's fine, Just.
Don't bring it into the tribe. That's all I'm asking. And just be respectful to each other. So respect no sexual deviant ship, that's all I ask.
Doesn't matter where you're coming from.
You know, if you're a I don't know, national socialist, of paying in, a Christian, A a somewhere in between, a nothing at all. I don't care, You're most welcome to join. You know, have an open discussion, have just just have chat.
I don't really care.
Just have a good time.
Yeah yeah, don't get offended, don't take a person all, but don't be an asshole exactly.
And you know, if there are you know, if you have a personal beef with someone, then you know, do it in person exactly. It should be that hard, so she said, dude, she likes your hard Actually, uh.
Nice, Okay, here we go. Yet, when was the last time you I saw each other?
During the COVID years, I managed to get myself across the border. Being a pure blood still I never had any inoculations. Still managed to get myself across the border. I had to have a certain shot, a certain prick to be able to travel.
I see, I managed to do it without.
Oh right, you just got a thoughts or just signed the form or somewhere. Maybe good for you. I bought a card telegram, yeah, the Mexican way.
Yeah pretty much.
Yeah no, and yeah so that was that was a while ago.
But it's it's just so expensive. I mean, luckily, like I have my driver's license now, so that saves a whole lot of problems. I'm just having to uber everywhere. Oh my god, it's so annoying.
You mean the state.
I mean, like I'm I'm I'm Dutch. I'm used to like just cycling everywhere or walking everywhere.
Nothing is walking.
Distance the city.
Yeah, yeah, you know, like I was.
I I was staying at Airbnb, and I was like, you know what, I like, i need to do some groceries for myself. I'm just gonna walk like to to Walmart. See what that's about.
It was a forty five minute walk two and back.
And I was like, holy fucking should mine? I mean, I can do it, like I'm fit enough. But you know, I was also like in Colorado, so you know, the air is very very different there, Like it's a lot higher up like the Netherlands were, you know, below sea level.
It's thanks to a couple of good dykes and some.
Pretty well engineer, pretty good engineers that we haven't sunk yet. Yes, yeah, I mean you can stick your finger in those two yeah or two. But then to like be you know, be higher up, be in a mountainous area. And she was working at a like gym spat thing, like all wellness thing.
Back then.
So I had you know, access to U two gym equipment. I've always been like, especially since my twenties, I've been you know, a bit of a gym rat. So I was like, hell, yeah, you know, fucking bench, put lots of plates on, and I'm like, why is this so much heavier all of a sudden because there's a less oxygen in the air, and I was like, oh fuck. Went on the assault bike, you know, and it's a good warmup, like go.
Go, go go.
I was blowing the fuck up afterwards, and I'm like, whoa, this is doing a number on me. My lungs were burning and what And I was like, holy shit, I have never felt this before.
It was.
A good month. Okay, Yeah, stayed a lot longer than I was supposed to. I was fucking broke afterwards, but I just I didn't want to leave bug. You know, still responsibilities here. Got two kids, so you know, and they do like it when when daddy's home, you know. Uh so, yeah, there was it was.
It was a good time.
I but I wish I I could have stayed longer. But she is making her way over here to Europe, you know, filling in all the all the necessary papers, doing all the necessary things because she really wants to leave the US.
And I do not blame her, that's all you make of it.
Yeah, yeah, I guess anywhere you go, sure, but like in her position, in her situation, it's better to it's better to be here. It's better to be here, and you're better to be here in the Netherlands. It's it's not just you know, because her husband me actually lives here in young entire family in law and everyone who loves her, but also like from a medical standpoint, like care and just you know, job wise and health wise and everything. And you know, her son, he is on
the the autism spectrum. He's a good kid. He's a bright kid, for sure, but you know, he would just be so much better off here than in the States. And like that's just from a healthcare perspective, because with the whole like insurance and health insurance stuff, Like my wife can only work like a max of twenty hours a week because otherwise, you know, they're taking her health care away and she needs, you know, a little.
Little extra because of her son.
And she's still like she's working. She is on what is it Medicaid and food stamps and still struggling, so you know, like welcome to America everyone, So yeah for her there, So there are a lot of valid reasons to to move out, and she and her mother as well would be much better off here, or at the very least here in Europe.
One thing about autism, to correlate that with planets because they're from a different planet, right, but you have to go to their world to understand them.
Yeah, I mean.
That is how it's often described, like they you know, they live in their own, their own world, and.
I think people should understand it that way, like, oh, this is what an alien is. You know.
People should do a lot of things.
Okay, that's okay. That was my purpose of the podcast too, Like I want people to I've said it before, to be the word don't be an example for you what you're saying. Don't just say that I don't, especially religious people, and you have to tell people that you want to, yeah, practice what you preach and you want people to follow you or follow the word of Christ or whatever it be.
The word exactly.
You're saying. It doesn't make it so don't you have to attract people to ask you what are you doing? Then? Why are you so happy. Why are you so calmed when that happens. You are God, you know, you are the example. You are the Jesus whatever you want to call yourself. Don't tell me, and don't tell me judge me, don't tell me what I should be.
Doing, right, I mean, as someone who follows the pagan path, follows the old gods, I've heard so many times like your gods are demons, your gods are false gods. You know, like, convert now and no embrace Jesus or you'll burn in hell. And it's like, yeah, that'll do it, you know, tell me basically tell me the the ah old convert or die.
Fine, I guess I'll die like the rest of the world.
Yeah, I mean, just you know, telling me what will happen if I don't convert. It's not going to do it for me, you know, like you're not gonna. I'm sorry, I'm not one of those pagans that you can scare into conversion. You know, show me the benefits, you know, oh, you know, you know you'll receive this and that and you know your life will just be so much grander. Okay, show me, no, no, no, believe me, bro, trust me, Bro, you know trust God.
Why show me?
Why don't tell me?
Why show me why?
That's what I'm saying. It's between you and God. If somebody needs to tell you they're not with God.
No, exactly, if you have to explain it to someone, yeah, I mean, if you have to explain why it's so good, then.
You know people are not seeing it exactly.
Friends from a moment.
But we're good.
We're good.
Yeah, No, I need to I need to get a new computer. It's expensive anyway.
It's it's good that you're you're actually thinking the way you should talk to. One of my moderators even know, I forget her name. That's so bad. Yeah, I'm so bad.
They're the worst.
No, but no, why can I think of her freaking name?
She is Soriyah.
Okay, Soraya she is.
She's amazing, and she is like another one of those, another one of those. They seem to be very limited in number, but a Christian that doesn't judge, you know, and like she she lets people be whoever they want to be, you know, she follows the truth. Like, yeah, yes, they're so like they're very few far between, unfortunately, And the great thing is that she's like she's moderator of a freaking pagan tribe, of a pagan group, and she's
a Christian herself. But that's because you know, she she sees the like the value for us.
It's not a path for her.
And yes, of course she would much prefer we were Christian, you know, but you know, she won't condemn us for being pagan. She doesn't think less of us because we're not Christian. It's like, yeah, I mean, I prefer it, but you know you're good people, so sure, And I know I mean Todd Dean Blackwell, he's he's the saying like, yeah, you know, he'd prefer it if I were Christian, but you know he sees, you know, he sees I'm a good guy. So you know, he'll come on and talk
about things and all of that. He'll converse with me and not try to convert me.
And I've had like another one on.
The podcast who was more at hardcore, like Pamela Walk. She has a very interesting story. But she was so confused because I said to her, like, I see the value in the teachings. I acknowledge the teachings. I acknowledge that in the Bible there is truth to be found. At the very least, you know, I'm very open to that. I've learned a lot over the years.
And she was kind of like I could see her thinking.
Then, why aren't you Christian? I was like, well, because that's not the path for me. That's not what I resonate with. I resonate with the old gods of Europe. You know, those are the gods of my ancestors. That's the culture of my ancestors.
So that's and maybe she should make the effort to get to know your I mean, she.
Did ask about it, you know, she tried to. I mean, I'm not sure if she tried to understand it, but at the very least, you know, she she asked about it, like she was like, okay, but then like, what do you believe? What are your gods? What is your Bible? Well, we don't have a Bible. What do you mean, well, we don't have any religious texts? Then who tells you what you should and shouldn't do?
I wrote it like Christians, what are Christians allowed to think? Because they just go based on those texts. I'm like, wow, that's that's weird. Yeah. So that's when I was reading the Bible I compared it to the government.
Yeah, you know, telling you what you can't and what you can and can do, what you can and can't think, how you're supposed to think, how you're supposed to.
Act, and how about God brought plagues and all these things in the way. This is COVID again. It's been happening since the Bible and Salon.
Yeah, I mean, i'm's cyclical. It's not it's not a trade line. It's cyclical. You know.
You know Josh Monday, he's a Christian. He's a Christian podcast and conspiracy podcasts. He lives not too part from me. I think it's gonna come next week. But yeah, he's like a he's a true Christian and I love him. He's you know, he doesn't of course he be first if I were a Christian, but you know, my lifestyle whatever I am, doesn't allow me. But we're you know, we're friends, and I'm like, yeah, this is a Christian. He he loves people.
Yeah, exactly, that's what.
Yeah, that's he is practice. He is being the word. He's he has a nice energy about him. Anybody loves him. He has a nice smile. He's he's a piece.
Yeah, and you know, that makes it a lot easier to like, first of all, talk to people if they're just nice and you know, i'd say especially for for the seekers and those who are you know, maybe still a bit lost. It makes it a lot easier for them to be like hey, you know, like as you said, like, hey, he's a nice guy. He has a good energy around him, he's you know, he's vibing in all the right ways. How what like, what's what's his story? What's his deal?
You know, CHRISTI amony and love and this and that.
It's like, well, that sounds good. I would like to be that too, you know, if I can then like Crow to be like you yeah exactly, you know, like be the example. Don't just tell people like, oh you should do this, Okay, cool, I should do a lot of things and I shouldn't do a lot of things that I still do. So fucking what.
Yeah, only God can judge me, but I will too.
Oh so that makes you God? Oh no, no, no, no, I'm not God. But I thought only God could judge me.
Well yeah, but you know, there we.
Go, and you know how they say, where our worst critic, we're judging ourselves. Therefore, we are God.
Okay, nice, Yeah, I mean that's kind of you know, like the whole going back to the like diy thing like I'll do with myself because of like different experiences. I mean that that capsulates like pretty much everything. Like that's what a lot of people say, like we are sores. We are God experiencing itself. You know, it's kind of like a diamond, and we're all the different facets of source of God. You know, he is not just like yeah, it's for us at least, it's the human experience. We're
both human. I appreciate more or less, yes, but you know, like you live a whole different life than I do, so your experiences are a lot different than mine. You know, we think about the same things a lot. We have opinions that maybe are the same or overlap or thoughts
that we you know, we both think. We're still two very very different people, so we have different experiences, learn different things from that, and you know, for example, by the medium of podcasting, we can share those experiences, learn from each other so that we you know, may understand what you're going through. You understand kind of what I'm you know, what I'm doing, what I'm going through, which is yes, it's a it's a beautiful it's a beautiful connection.
And the process could be different, but the result is the same. It's the same results. Well, we have different thought to metas to that conclusion. So I don't think it's it's even like a homeless person could teach me something. Yeah, for sure, I'm gonna and again that's God putting these things on me, like I was meant to see this. Okay, thank you. So be more aware of your surroundings, more aware of the signs signed.
Yes, you've got to working, have to go, man, gotta pluck in, do your job, go home.
It's Friday, though, so oh I'm gonna to go shoot some guns after work.
That's typical American of course. Good.
I don't know, and I've never done it, so really.
Yeah, well, you know, have fun after work, and good luck with you know, getting getting through the day. Just keep in mind guns after work, release after work, you know, maybe shoot your gun after work.
I did it before.
I mean, you're you're you're a viral man.
You can like you you're not that old. Yeah you can still do it twice a day?
Yeah nice? Yeah, Okay, On that note, okay, thank you for that.
Yeah, yeah, no problem, man, real quick work. And where can the people find you?
Know?
Yeah, but your stuff?
I'm in Spotify Life is a Dream that that's an awakening podcast. You could even attach my email if you'll want to reach me. Nobody has actually, which is I don't sign but yeah, that's where you can find me on Spotify.
Well, thank you for coming on.
How can you register yourself? Miltonious Aurelius.
I was given that name, so I'm like, okay, I'll use it.
Oh that's your actual name?
No, no, no, no, I'm saying someone else.
I'd say.
I mean, that's that's pretty fun.
That's pretty fucking epic. If that works, be your actual name.
That was really cool.
Oh but my last name, oh compo. My it was just accompole without the apostrophe. My English teacher put the apostrophe, so she made me Irish. That's cool.
If you're on the ary Irish. Yes, nice, nice, Well, yeah, thank you very much for coming on. Man. I'll make sure you, you know, put all your your links in the description box down below. Of course, I'll make sure that on both the audio and video platforms they are there. So yeah, thanks everyone for watching. Thanks everyone for listening. This has been pretty free flowing, you know, like kind of you know, we went off the deep ends pretty pretty quick actually, you know, as as we do.
You know, no, no shallow, go deep or just don't don't do it.
That's what she said. And that's actually not what she said.
It's gotta get you too, and that just me.
She already did today. She already broke me. But you know that's that's that's fine. I still love her.
H Yeah.
If you liked what you sound like what you heard, remember to like, share, subscribe, and if you are already subscribed, make sure that you hit the notification bell as well, because I've heard from people that they aren't always notified whenever a new episode releases or when I go live with zero Lath or with someone else, you know, other
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I score it.
And we'll keep in touch and we'll have to we'll have to do this again.
Som so be well everyone, I'll say next time.
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