Why do you like these dirtbags?

row and joined me on Monday mornings. This is just a special moment for me and me and you you listener that listens to these podcasts all the time. We have a special bond, don't we. Because things that you might see in a quick episode of The Smiths or an Instagram post or me on the stage, those type of things, you're getting a little piece of me. Right. The Smith's a bigger piece, but the podcast you get the biggest piece. You get what I hope is the

true piece of my heart. Me and you, you listener, we have gone on a journey these last few years, and we have gone through some crazy stuff, some some crazy topics. I know we're going to do it again today. In fact, it's just me no no co host today. And I love the format of this podcast. I love

going through your questions. And when I first started doing this on this podcast, when I changed the format of this to answer your questions, it started out like what's your favorite color or what's the favorite your favorite song

you've ever written? Right, And then then it changed. And I don't know exactly when that happened or what the first question that led to this was, but you know, the first question comes in like I'm struggling in my marri marriage and I don't know what to do, and so it caught me off guard a little bit, but

we walk through it. And what we do here is we walk through these questions, your questions as if we're sitting around a campfire and you walk up and I got the fire burning, and it's late at night, and you say, hey, can I talk to you about something, as if we have nothing else to do, we have nowhere else to be, And I say sure, and you say it there's something that's been on my mind. I don't want to talk about it. And that's really what

this has become. And I love that about this podcast, and so if you have any of those questions, those kind of campfire questions, email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. I'd love to get to them. I'd love to walk through them. I have a whole bunch of them today. I know I'm not going to get to all these and so I'm just gonna randomly pick them, but I have them in the queue ready. I have not prepped, as you could see on my desk here.

I don't have any notes. I only have my phone with the email, so I'm not prepared for what I'm going to jump into, and I like it that way. Here's a question. The first question. Like I said, I don't know what I've getting into. Okay, so here we go. Question that's the subject line, Hello there, thank you so much for taking my question. They are so helpful. Will you help me be anonymous? Yes? How do you remain a woman of God in love and honor a husband

that is verbally abusive? How do we treat each other like we're supposed to be treated? So this is a great question. I'm kind of little shocks that I got into this this early in the podcast, but this is anonymous. She is she's in a marriage with a verbally, verbally abusive husband, and she's asking asking me, how do you remain a woman of God and love and honor your husband? And it's it's tough because because you've got to understand that what you're asking me, how do I love and

honor as a godly woman? That's what you're asking, and to appropriately answer it, we have to understand that it takes two and the husband is required and supposed to, as a godly husband, love and honor you back, and

that's not what you're getting. So that's why there's a problem. Right, I mean, if we could all agree, no matter no matter what reference you're reading here, no matter what, no matter what your worldview is, we could all agree that if you love and honor your spouse and they love and honor you back, you're gonna have a really good marriage. You're not. It's not gonna be perfect because we're humans. You're gonna have your ups and downs, You're gonna have

rocky moments. But if, above all else in your life, you love and honor your spouse and they love and honor you back, you're kind of have a really solid, fundamentally right marriage, right asking I'm asking you, right, that's what I think. And so so here we are. You're you're in a verbally abusive relationship, which is tough because because abuse is abuse, you don't have to make it seem like you have it less severe because you're not

physically abused. And sometimes the verbally abusive husbands could lead into physically abused so that but that's a different thing. But but this isn't any less of a problem for you than it would be someone saying they're they're only physically abused and not verbally abused. It's all bad, it's all terrible, and and my heart goes out to you, Anonymous. And so you're asking, how do how do do Your last sentence says this, how do we teach others how

to treat us? Hmm, I don't know. I don't know if that's right to ask, how do we teach others how to treat us? Because we can't control others at all. We can only control what we do and how we respond to others. That's what you have right now, Anonymous. That's that's what you can control, is how you're responding and how you're acting towards your spouse. And you do that as hard as it might seem by loving him

and honoring him. And that is a controversial idea because you might think that instead of loving and honoring, you should defend an attack, right, because that's what you're getting. So you need to put your guard up in be defensive and attack back. But I promise you that will that will make it worse. There's no situation when when that would ever make it better. It's like it's like you're not going to conquer him or win him over

with your anger and your defense is up. All that being said, that doesn't mean that that doesn't mean that you you might be on a path. You might be on a path where this marriage is not going to work. And you know, any anybody that's listened to this podcast enough knows that if there's abuse in the in a relationship, that is grounds for divorce because you can't be abused. It's first of all, it's illegal. Right, It's like you you could press charges for that and you would win.

And that that just because it's and that's that, that's this is your marriage. And so I don't I don't want to advocate that you need a state no matter what. All I'm saying is we're gonna this is a waiting game. You're gonna wait this out with him, and you're gonna love and honor him through the pain that you're getting.

And if that doesn't work, if if this doesn't, if he doesn't have a change of heart, and man, this guy, if he doesn't see his wife or who she is as she's loving him and honoring him, if he still wants to throw the heat at that, then he's a terrible person and this marriage is gonna be over. And I don't think there's much more to it. Anonymous, I'm not gonna tell you to I'm not gonna tell you a tactic on arguing or fighting, but you might wanna, might wanna have a good lawyer. I'm so sorry. I'm

so sorry. And that's a sorry to everyone that that's the first question. Moving on here, there's a question that says from Shannon from Michigan says, does having this new radio show job mean you will no longer be touring or doing music? Yeah? What Shannon is talking about is I just got a new job. It's really really cool, and we announced it recently last week that I'm going to be hosting a country music radio show. Called After Midnight.

It runs on a lot of stations all across the country with a lot of listeners, and it's everything from little mom and pop stations to big metropolitan city stations, but it's a lot of them and they pick it up and it runs from midnight to six am, So it's a very vulnerable time for people to be listening to the radio. And I love that. I love the the challenge of that, I love the taking on the responsibility, the weight of what it means to host a radio

show for people in the middle of the night. I'm talking people that are working the late night shift, that are just leaving the bars, that are getting up early to go to work and commute. They're getting up to work out and go jogging. They're stocking the shelves at the grocery store, they are over the road trucking. Their mom is get enough to nurse their babies. There's all different kinds of demographics, all different kinds of people that

will be listening. And I'm so excited. And to answer your question, Shannon, of course I'm not gonna stop touring. No no, no, no no, no. Of course I'm not gonna stop doing music. And I'm not gonna stop touring. I love those things love I love making music, I love writing music, and I love performing it. I will be doing those three things for the rest of my life

at some capacity. And I've joked about that in the past to say that even if I'm on the on the street corner with a guitar case open with you know, getting tips and I'm playing songs on the side of the of the street, even if it's that to some extent, I will be still writing, singing and uh and performing, recording and performing and and this radio job will be will be work, and it will be it will take up a lot of my time. It will we will not be live, so I'm not going to be up

every single night from midnight to six am. I'm going to record it as relevant of a time as I can to when it's gonna air, but a lot of times I'll be on the tour bus or in a hotel room or here in this podcast room or wherever I am at the time. Whatever I'm doing, I'm gonna have my gear with me and I'm gonna be recording this and producing the show for you guys, so super excited. The answer is no, you I don't think, Shannon, I don't think you're going to see a change for me

at all. That's the goal. The goal is that you don't perceive any different. I'm just the same old Granger. I'm still doing the Smith, I'm still doing this podcast, I'm still out on tour. I'm still putting out songs periodically, so hopefully you won't see a difference. Besides that, hopefully I'm on your local radio station in the middle of the night. Yeah, let's do let's hit one more and let's grab a brake. I'm gonna go to you. I'm just randomly scrolling here. This one says I don't know what.

It says, says help, subject line says help, it says good morning. I found your podcast recently and I love the authenticity of it. It is so real and honest. Thank you. So my question is I'm in a situation with someone that has been going on for about two years. I met this person, we both had this instant connection. We talked whenever we would and could, but things got really personal. The issue is she has a boyfriend and she is so unhappy with it, and she keeps saying

she's going to leave him. And that she really cares for me, but every time it comes up to have a serious conversation, she gets quiet, doesn't say anything. I'm having the hardest time letting go. What should I do? How do I let go before I lose my mind? Thank you, Chris, Chris, thanks for the question. Brother. I don't know where you are. I don't know where you're coming from. And if you guys, email include your location so I can get an idea of where you're from.

I have an answer for you, and I have an answer that I don't think it's the answer you want to hear, Chris, but I think I have a pretty solid answer for you. So you're dating this girl. No, sorry, You've been in a relationship a friendship with this girl for going on two years. She has a boyfriend. She

says it's bad, she's unhappy with him. She says she really cares for you, but every time it comes up in a serious conversation, she gets quiet, doesn't say anything, and you're having a tough time because obviously you have feelings for her too. Here's a deal guys and girls can rarely have. I might get some flak for this, but guys and girls can rarely have an intimate friendship

without one of them having feelings for the other. And I know, I know, I've said this for years and people always want to argue and they say, no, no, no no, no no. I have a friend that's a girl and we're like best friends. And I'm like, well, did she ever have feelings for you? And did you ever have feelings for her? Because that's a question that you might not know the answer to because maybe she never told you.

But it usually works this way. That's just how we're built, and so there's no doubt from your story that this is the end result. You guys are really close. You have this situation your friends for two years. You share all these intimate secrets. She's venting about her boyfriend that she doesn't like to you, and you're a guy, so you help her give good advice through that. It makes perfect sense, and she loves it. She can get a

guy's perspective on her problems. And it would be the same way if you were in the situation with a girlfriend and she could. This friend could give you advice about your girlfriend. But these things end up happening this way. This is we're humans, and this is a story that repeats itself generation after generation. It's crazy because everything changes around us, you know, media changes, lifestyle changes, transportation changes.

The men and women and our dealings with each other are thousands of years old the same, right, So here's what you need to do, Chris. You need to go to her. You need to sit her down, one on one, no one else in the room, and you say, I need to talk to you about something. I like you more than friends. I really like you. I think there's a chemistry between us. I think there's a connection between us, and I would love to take this to the next level.

I understand by saying this, this could put our friendship in serious jeopardy. I understand that. But the possibility of us actually being more than friends is worth more to me than salvaging a friendship when I know it's going to break my heart in the end. Right, and then you got to tell her this, And this is the part you're not gonna like. This is the part where

it gets difficult. You got to tell her right then, But before you answer, and before this goes any further, if you have feelings for me too, then we need I need to back away and we need to stop talking for a period of time for you to cut it off with this boyfriend. And in doing that and cutting it off with this guy completely, that will let me know I have the green light to then take

you on a real date. And this is gonna be tough because she puts her in a tough situation because she has security in this old boyfriend, regardless of if he's good or not. She has security in staying with this guy, and you're the wild card. Like she doesn't know, she doesn't know where this is gonna go. So why is she gonna waste this effort and time she's put into this boyfriend and go with this wild card. And that's where it's up the chance, that's where we don't know.

But you got to do it. You have to do it like I said it, or that it just drags out and she never breaks up with him, or or even worse, they get in a fight and they split up on their own and then she rebounds to you, and then you're not really sure if you're just a reba and you're just a soft landing spot for her because she had trouble with this guy and she knew you, so it was an easy thing. So you'll never know if it was really her saying yes to you above

this other guy. It's tough, but that's what she gotta do, and the answer is gonna be tough. Guys. I was in a similar situation with Amber when I met her. We met and had this We had this great chemistry on a music video set, and I really liked her and I thought she might like me, but I wasn't sure. I just got the vibe that she might. But I knew she had a boyfriend and they were getting serious, and she came to me. This is a little bit

different situation, but I'll just tell the story. She came to me about a week later after the video and she texted me and she said, I need to know if it's just me or was there's something more to us when we were together. So I as hard as it was for me, I said, yes, I felt it too. But before we do anything else, before we take another step, before we have another conversation or even a cup of coffee,

you're gonna have to break up with your boyfriend. And when you do it, call me and we'll see what happens. And as hard as it was to restrain myself because I wanted to just say, yeah, yeah, let's go. I had to do it that way, and I'm so, I mean, now she's my wife. It worked, It really worked. And it wasn't a trick or a game. It was it's serious and and so she did she you know, it

took her. It took her. You know, I had to give her her time to break up with them in the appropriate way because he was far as I know, he was a good dude. He do nothing wrong with this guy. So she didn't have an excuse like they weren't like fighting or something. So she did it. She broke up with them. It was like a week after I said that, and then she said, okay, I broke up with him. And I said, okay, next time I'm in your area, which I was in college station. She

was up in Dallas. Next time I'm in Dallas, I'll i'll call you and let's go get some coffee. Which is another hard thing because I knew. I knew at that moment too. I couldn't just say, you broke up with them, Great, jump in my car and just you know, fly to Dallas that next day and then we're going

to see a movie. That would be weird too, like she's fresh out of this relationship, like maybe she needed a little bit of space to decompress from that and to really let the dust settle and see if this this feeling thing she had for me was real or not anyway, Like maybe maybe she wasn't totally into the boyfriend and that's what made me seem better, but I wasn't. I wasn't the one for her. I just seemed better than the one, the current one, and then that would make me just a bad answer to a to a

bland relationship. So I didn't want that. So literally, like a month went by after this, after she broke up with them, Like a month went by, and I had a little acoustic show in Dallas, and I texted her and I said, Hey, I'm in walksa hatchie. I could be in Dallas in twenty minutes tonight after my show. If you want to do something, go grab some coffee, And she said yes, she said yes, So we went to Starbucks and we met at a Starbucks. I don't

know Amber could correct me. It was like nine o'clock, nine thirty ten, something like that, And we stayed there and talked until they had to kick us out because they were closing the Starbucks. And then I got in my truck and I went back three hours to college station. Chris, you got some hard business ahead of you, but I got faith in you, and I got faith in this plan. We take a break, be right back. Podcast has brought to you guys today by a movement that's mv MT.

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We will walk through it could be any subject, could be about anything, and we've seen them all. We've seen every kind of subject on here, next question on here. The subject line says, I need some financial help. Hey gring, your My name is Luke. I'm twenty two years old from a small town called Meridian, Oklahoma. I bought my first house at nineteen and my girlfriend that had just graduated high school moved in with me and we've been

here for three years and things are great. But there is a twenty acre farm that just came up for sale right next to me, and I've always wanted this property, but it's two hundred and eighty thousand dollars. I got approved for the loan, but I'm a maintenance man and I don't make a fortune, so times will be tough on us if we go through with it. Note that my girlfriend is currently in college and it's going to be graduating soon, so that will help when she gets

a good job. What's your opinion on what we should do? Luke? Thanks for emailing Buddy twenty two, two hundred and eighty thousand dollars. I know that sounds like a lot, but there's a lot of people listening right now that are going man, including me. Man, I wish there was a twenty acre farm for only two hundred and eighty thousand dollars around me because prices are skyrocketing now. And I know,

like I said, I know, that's a lot of money. Uh, but still, that's twenty acre farm is very valuable and really important and a big deal. So let's dive into this. I know that people that have listened to this podcast and listen to me a lot probably know where I'm gonna lead with this. But Luke, you're twenty two. You got your first house. Congratulations, dude, you bought a house at nineteen. That's awesome. You're way ahead of the game. You're way ahead of anywhere I was. But you have

a problem. You got a girlfriend you're playing house with that moved in. She's been with you for three years. I know you say things are going great, and she's probably great. Has really nothing to do with her at all, But the fact is we have to start thinking about marriage here. Like, you can't be thinking about a twenty acre farm unless unless you've got things locked down with this wedding, because you got to think about an engagement ring. You got to get a nice one that's gonna make

her proud, responsible, but proud and worthy of her beautiful hand. Right, you got a wedding to plan. It's gonna cost money to put on this wedding, and hopefully it's a decently small you know, friends and close family, family and close friends. But and then then you're gonna think about babies down the road. So rather, there are things that are coming up in your future that you have. You have reversed a little bit. You got things. The puzzle is a

little bit out of order here. So thinking about a twenty acre farm, even buying a house is great, and these are wonderful things, but out of order, they start getting messed up. So your girl, like I said, maybe she's great, she's probably great. What if she breaks up with you after you take on the note of this farm and and then you're not you're not and unable to pay it on your on your own salary. Like

now we have problems. What happens if the wedding that she wants goes way out of proportion and that costs too much. Now now we're dealing with this, or her college debt is more than we thought that that's why things have to stay in a certain order. Now you're right and being excited about this farm. Now I'm gonna read your words here. They said it came up for sale right next to me, if you mean next door

to you, which that sounds like that's what you mean. Yeah, Like if it's down the road, okay, I understand, that's a little different. But if it's touching your fence line, then, like the rule in real estate and farm real estate is, if it touches your fence line, you buy it at all cost. You get a second job, You become a newspaper delivery man, could be anything. Go sell vacuum cleaner's

door to door, you do anything. You can, work the night shift to get this loan, which you're approved of, to pay off this loan, to get the property that touches yours, because this opportunity might never happen again. This land, if it's touching yours, it might never happen again. These people, the next people that buy it, could die on this property eighty years from now, and none of the other

properties around you could sell. It's a possibility. But if you can get it, which you've got this loan, then you're approved. You take it, You pay for it. You cut a gate right there in your fence line, and you make a road right into the new twenty acres. And I know it sounds like a lot, but if you don't do it now, then five years down the road, that two hundred and eighty thousand is going to be a half a million dollar twenty acre farm. I promise you.

I know it's happened. It's going to happen in Oklahoma, it's happening in Texas, and a lot of people listening are saying it's happening here. It's happening here. So we're talking ten years down the road, this farm is going to be four five, six, seven, eight hundred thousand dollars. It just is. It's real estate is not going down, so you're right to think that you need to acquire

it at all costs. But I think you got things mixed up with the girlfriend, Like at three years, three years is enough time to know if she's your wife. There's no use playing around anymore. I mean you need to use your brain and figure out is am I compatible with this person as a spouse? Does she have all that it takes to be my lifetime companion? And I think I'm pretty sure about this that you could

know that in less than three years. I'm pretty sure you could know that in a decent amount of time that doesn't take a second more than you're already involved with this one. So either this is it, put a ring on it, go get you one, have a responsible wedding, decent sized priced ring that you could afford, start making plans for babies, and then if this property is still around, get it. Otherwise, I think I think the puzzles a little bit out of place, brother, But thank you for emailing.

Next question, this comes from ill see this says. It doesn't say who it's from, but it says subjectline work. Hey Grandeur, I'm gonna keep the short simple. I've always been drawn to the outdoors. I love hunting, fishing, etc. I would very much like some advice on how to start a career on doing those sorts of things, doing what I love. PS. I love the channel and I wish you all the way. Till earl, I said, Hi, thank you, thanks for watching, thanks for listening, Thanks for

the kind words. Yeah, I think we have I'm right there with you. I echo these thoughts. I love hunting, fishing, outdoors, et cetera. And so I think we have a couple options to walk through. First option, you get a regular job that pays decent money. You work your way up maybe maybe whatever you have now the job you have. Now, you start working your way up the ladder. You're making

some decent money. And then you do that five days a week, and on the weekend and half a Friday, you're going out and you're fishing, you're hunting, you're going all out in the outdoors. And you could you can get a lease, dear lease. You can get like six seven of your buddies and all go in together and get this lease lease land. That's what we do in Texas. But the lease land for hunting or fishing. And so you can find like the perfect property. It's got the

got the pond on it, got bass. You stock it with bass and calffish, put your minos in every season, make sure the algae is taken care of, and make sure hopefully there's some ducks on the pond. Then you get your deer buying set up. You're putting your protein

feed out, you're getting your food plots ready. You could do all that half a Friday and Saturday and Sunday all year long, and you're making enough money through your regular job where you know you might not love it, but but it's work and you're doing you're using your hands and you're getting you're making money and you get to put it into what you love. That's a good life.

And a lot of people choose that option to you would be And by the way, by the way, I'm kind of doing, I kind of do option A. Like I love music, but I really like to hunt and fish, and so you know, music helps fund that. Really. Option two, here's option two. You go to a hunting outfitter, a fishing guide outfit company. There's a lot of them, you know, in the sporting areas of the world, and you say, look, I love hunting, I love fishing. I know everything about it.

I want to come into the ground floor. You could do this as a sporting goods store. Go to the sporting goods store and go man. I could sell these rodden reels. I could put them together. I could show people all the different combinations and the different levels that you want to spend according to your your talent level. I'm really good at setting up archery. I could help people and you can get a job at sporting goods,

you know, and work your way up that ladder. And if you really want to get dirty, which is I think this is more what you mean, then you go to the outfitters and you say, look, I want to work for you, whatever it takes. I want to come in and take out the trash at the offices. I want to fill your truck with gas. I want to clean your rifles, whatever it takes. I want to work for you guys. And they might say, hey, we we can't afford you. And at that point you got to

go I'll entern. I want to prove to you that I love to do this, and then I'm good at it, and then I could be an asset to you and your outfit And then when you come in, if you get to come in at a ground level like that, and if they say no, you go to another one. But when you get to finally get a yes to this and you get to come in, then you want to become someone that's indispensable, someone that they can't They

used to think they couldn't afford to hire you. Now they think they can't afford to fire you because you're too good at everything. And you do the little things right about, Like be the guy that goes to your boss and goes, hey, I could cut your grass on the weekends at your house. I could do I could take your laundry to the dry cleaning. I could fill your truck with fuel. Hey, let me clean those rifles for you. I'll bring on to my house. Don't even

worry about it. I'll take care of it. And then when it comes time for a budget cut and they're looking who to hire and fire or promote, they're like, man, don't touch this guy. Why because he does my grass and does my laundry and fills up my fuel and cleans my rifles. Don't get rid of that guy. He is perfect for me. He's indispensable to this organization. So be that guy. Work your way up that way. So

those are your options. And I'd say that I say that kind of advice for people that are wanting to get into the music business, people wanting to get into law enforcement, people that want to get that so badly, are passionate about getting into any one career field. I say, man, going from the ground floor, go in there, be indispensable, take out the trash. Be the guy that delivers groceries, bring breakfast in on Monday morning, bring the donuts. Make

sure the coffee's hot all the time. Learn to make the coffee exactly like your boss likes it, and make it always hot and always ready, and that cup is always clean. Be that guy in any of these fields and you'll succeed. Next question says subject line girl Help and Faith says Hey, mister Smith, my name is Xander. I'm seventeen years old from Illinois. I just recently started listening to the podcast. I love listening to it in

your music. I have two different questions for you. First one, I recently met this girl that I want to have a conversation with, but I'm not gonna lie. I'm not good at talking at women. I can never keep a conversation going with them. I was wondering if you had any advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it. Second question is this. I was younger, my family always went to our Catholic church and I read the Bible. Then out of nowhere, we just stopped all that. I've been

struggling recently with many things that I'm unsure of. I believe the Lord could help point me in the right direction, and I just want to reconnect with him. I don't know what the best way to do this is. I appreciate any advice you can give me. Thank you and sorry for the long questions, Xander, Thank you, Xander shout out to Illinois. I appreciate you. Email and brother. Yeah, let's dive into each of these questions. Question one, you got your girl? Question? Listen, bro, I was once you.

I was once seventeen, not good at starting conversations or talking to women, in fact, terrified of it. And I would stumble and mutter and mess up words and shake visibly, and I would get it all planned out, like man, I have everything I want to say, and I would rehearse it and it would sound so good, and then I would start approaching a girl in the hallway and I would start shaking, and then I would close up and then would get tense and my eyes would start watering,

and that's like a mess. And then I get and then it made it worse when I started thinking that maybe she could see my hands on my sides are shaking, and then she's gonna think I'm just complete idiot and just a mumbling moron. And then she's gonna think worse of me than I was in the beginning, and I already wasn't great. So I think a lot of guys

are like this, Sander. A lot of seventeen year olds are like this, and the ones that aren't, the pretenders that aren't, are probably gonna peak in high school, and that's the most successful they'll ever be in life is in high school because they could talk. But the only downhill from here for them. I promise you, buddy, you're in the right place. You're nervous, and I just think

that that's very normal. I remember being seventeen and feeling like I had horse blinders on, like I couldn't see anything that was going on more than five ft in front of me, and nothing in my periphials at all. That's the way our brains are. And then there's girls that are just so smart and witty and ahead of the game and mature, and I mean they still are right like, they're always proportionately just more savvy than we are. And that's part of the struggle that we have, is

that we're just always a little bit behind. That's why you see guys will typically date girls that are younger than than them because they're trying to accommodate their brain capacity. Like that's the truth. Like a seventeen year old guy would probably date a fifteen year old because she's the same level as him, And no way we talked to an eighteen year old, Like, no way, she's way ahead of him. Here's my suggestion to you in this, walk up to this girl that you like, and be vulnerable,

be honest, shakes and quivers and all. And this is advice that I wouldn't have been very good at. And this is harder to do than it is for me to tell you. But I would walk up and I would say, I'm Xander. I know that you don't know me, but I think you're so beautiful. And I'm really nervous right now because I'm nervous to talk to pretty girls and I'm shaking, and I just was wondering if maybe one of these days we can go on a date or something. And hey, girls, correct me if I'm wrong.

But if a guy is vulnerable like that and just honest, and you could see him shaking and his lip is quivering because he's literally intimidated because you're so beautiful, I think that says something right, like that means something and it matters, you know. In the movie Back to the Future, I love that movie, and George McFly goes into the cafe and he sees sitting in the booth and he walks up to her and he says, Lorraine, I'm George McFly.

You are my density. And she's like what, and he says, I mean you are my destiny and he messes up the words. But that's it's beautiful that way, and she loves it. And I just think being vulnerable matters, and that should be your your approach in this second question, different topic, but I think I could might, I might be able to relate them a little bit the same you're you're you went to Catholic church, you read the Bible, and then that stopped, and you want to reconnect with God.

My my opinion on this, my advice would be, there is a Christian organization at your school. For me, there was one called Young Life, and I would go to this, I would get I would get involved with Young Life right and go in there with with a with an open mind that you're gonna go and have pizza and have good fellowship with people, and most importantly you're gonna meet friends that have the same vision as you. And it doesn't have to be don't think of it as Catholic.

Think of it as a Christian organization. And through this and through the pizza Knights and the game nights and the activities that you'll get to hang out with these people, that kind of fellowship, I mean, that's the church, and that will draw you closer to God through the group, and crazy stuff can happen in that. You know, God works in those kind of environments with seventeen year old kids.

He does. And to relate it back to the girl, this could be a really good thing for you to go to this girl and you're nervous and you're shaken, and you say, I'm Xander and you're beautiful, and I'm nervous. But I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Young Life Pizza night with me. It's Thursday night,

and I think that's a really good end. And you're vulnerable, and then then you get to fellowship with like minded people and God works in those environments and I think you would you would feel, you would feel God's presence and you would see the fruits of that. Let me know how this goes? Okay, I appreciate the question. Brother. This next one, it says, Hey Granger, first of all. First of all, I love what you've done with the podcast. Is truly an inspiration to me. I genuinely look forward

to new episodes. I've been a fan of your music forever, and I'm so happy to see you talking all things God, America and hard work on your podcast. I like that God, America and hard work. I'll take that lay, I'll brand it that way. That's perfect. She says. I'd like to stay anonymous, please. I'm an eighteen year old girl from southern California. I'm headed to Texas for college this fall, and to be honest, I'm worried not about leaving home,

but about the things I may experience. Frat boys, beer, other things I'm not used to, And honestly, I'm worried that I'm going to fall into sin and pleasure or even be taken advantage of by guys. I'm pretty naive and I often let guys walk all over me. Not intentionally, but I'm just too nice and too submissive. The boys I've been with, they've all been dirt bags, and they've

not treated me well from a man's perspective? How can I stay on the right path through my college experience, from staying with God to making good choices with boys? Thank you so much. Okay, Anonymous, I'm about to go after you a little bit. My listeners know you can't come to me. Look, this is out of love. I'm going to give you some tough love here. Don't come to me with the question that you've already answered, every

single question hidden inside your own email. And if you want me to repeat it back and then I'll say it. You say you're worried about falling into sin to pleasure, don't You said you don't know about frat boys and beer and things you're not used to stay away from it. You say you're pretty naive and you let guys walk alo all over you. Don't let them. You're not intentional, but you're just too nice and submissive. Stop being submissive. The boys you've been with have all been dirt bags

and not treated you well. Get away from dirt bags, stay away from them. You see what I mean? All of your answers are hidden inside your own question. In fact, here's an exercise for you. Take a pen and paper, write and write this down. You're gonna write your email, which you have in your outbox, the one you sent to me, and I want you to take your email and I want you to write the reverse email to yourself,

and it's going to go something like this. I'm headed to Texas for college this fall, and to be honest, I'm not worried at all. I love home, but I'm excited about the new things I'm going to experience. I'm going to stay away from frat boys and bearing those other things, and honestly, I have no problem staying away from sin and pleasure. I will not be a taken advantage of by guys. I'm not naive, and I will not let guys walk all over me. I'm a very

intentional person. I am nice, but I'm not submissive. I've been around dirtbags in the past. I've learned my lesson. I can now identify them and I will stay away from them in the future and then keep that as a little reference for you to go back to. And what I want you to do, Anonymous, is when you move to Texas, hopefully you're going to Texas A and M, make sure you're immediately getting involved and that starts right

now in southern California. I want you to go on their web page and start finding all the organizations that you could become a part of before you get there. So you're not gonna go in blind. You're not gonna go pot luck in a dorm room. You're not going to walk down the down the campus with your books and just randomly look at where you should go. You're

gonna have this planned out before you get there. You have time still, so you're gonna find the organizations of people, girls that you want to be associated with, that can keep you accountable and keep you away from all these things that you have already identified as possible problems in your character. So you're gonna go in, and you're gonna

go girls. And I don't care if it's a chess club, or if it's volleyball or softball or innermural anything, or math club or a sorority if you want to pay money for that, I don't care any of this as long as it's good girls you could surround yourself with, and you're forming a community that becomes your armor around you, and you're gonna be straight up honest with them and you're gonna say, girls, I've had problems in the past being around dirt bag guys, and they're gonna go, we

got your back. And one night you're out at a party and a dirt bag walks up. Everyone can see him coming. The girls create a wall around you, and you go and they look at him and they go out of here. She doesn't hang around guys like you, And that way, you're not vulnerable, you're not open, your force field is not down, and you're protected by your group,

your core group around you. That matters, that accountability, those mama hens matter, and you will be the same for them because they're gonna share the same things they got going on and their problems, and you'll be able to counteract it because you're gonna overlap like this, like this mesh of steel that where the problems that they have are gonna be your strengths and your problems are going to be their strengths, and you're going to protect each other.

But you got to find this ahead of time. You got to plan this out, do this now, and you will love it. You will love college and you won't be submissive, and you won't get into the wrong crowds you'll mess up, we all do. But when you mess up with this team around you, they help lift you back up and get you on your feet. You're gonna do just fine. I love these emails, guys. Thank you for what you bring to me and the fight that you bring out of me. I love it and I

look forward to seeing y'all every single Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Gi