What an easily offended world needs to hear

talking before we started recording. We're talking about how this this podcast is really built where it's completely off the cuff, no preparation, no question preparation, no notes, and so we're left to answer on the spot, which is tough, yeah, because you you have to just think of your answer right now, and you can't let you can't sit there and research it or think about it or look at notes.

And so that leads to me. Sometimes I'll just be midway through the day of a podcast and several hours later after our record and I'll go, oh, I should have said that. That would have been great, That would have been a way better answer than that was stupid. So that brings up the format of what this podcast is. This podcast we answer your questions you email Granger Smith podcast at gmail dot com. It could be about any subject,

doesn't matter what it is. We're going to walk through it as if we are sitting around a campfire, or sitting in a pickup truck, or sitting in a deer stand, you name it, sitting at a cafe having coffee, and we're going to answer the question that you have on your mind as if not as therapist or psychic I trist or preachers or priest, but as your friends wanting to give you the best advice from an open heart that we can give you. That's the format of this podcast.

We're not always right, but we're going to tell it to you as if Bernie here a buddy, you're in the group, you're one of the wolf Pack, diamond Dogs. We're gonna bring it to you straight. We ain't gonna sugarcoat it. Yeah, we may be wrong, but we're not gonna be indecisive. Yeah, we're not gonna let too much space go by because it's a podcast and it sounds weird to be quiet. So the first one, the subject line is advice. It says, Hey Granger, I'm sixteen years old.

I have a full time job as a farmer. I've got an amazing girlfriend. I live in Mexico, and I want to get married in around a year and a half. I want to make more money than just my salary. What advice would you give me? Parentheses? Getting married is expensive. If you ever go to Mexico, it would be an honor to show you around the beautiful mountains that we have here in Mexico Duringo Nueva idiall thanks. This comes

from Victors. Yeah, so Victor. The first thing I would say is an advice is I think seventeen and a half years old is too young to get married. He's sixteen, he's got a great girlfriend. He wants to wait a year now. First of all, he's sixteen. Got a full time job? Is that a thing like these days? I guess if you're like homeschool and then you just work, and maybe it's a different like family. Yeah, you're you're saying, because because where is school in the equation? That's what

you're saying. Yeah, yeah, full time job? Maybe he either we're wrong and he didn't mean full time job. He meant he's got he works as max hours as he can with school, or we're wrong, he's not in school at all, and he's got an amazing girl for and congratulations. And he says getting married is expensive relatively speaking. That depends on what your ceremony is. It depends on how you I mean, you could have a cheap wedding at the courthouse or a cheap wedding in your backyard. Yeah,

what's this what's his name? Victor? All right, Victor, get in here, buddy, we're gonna talk about this. Dude. Love your girl. That's awesome. You got this great girl. Bro, you're sixteen, and so enjoy grizz has said this to you a lot. Enjoy being sixteen. Don't be in such a hurry to kind of like grow up and work and get married. And if if you found this girl, I think that that's great. I think there's some development maybe that still needs to happen and like go through

some things. I know. This is kind of like, uh, you know, goes against what we've said before about like don't date for seven years. Yeah, you know, like once you realize that they're the one, But when they're sixteen, it's almost like well, you need to go through some things together. And like you know, but I mean, other people have gotten married seventeen eighteen and they've been fine. So stupid question. But are we dealing with something cultural here?

Maybe maybe yeah, I don't think so. The world has gone so the world is so similar now, but maybe yeah. Though, But seventeen seventeen and a half still seems still seems really young, Victor. And and you're gonna have the rest of your life. Look at your parents and your grandparents. You're gonna have the rest of your life to be married and to play the role of a husband. But you only have right now to be sixteen and seventeen

and eighteen and nineteen. You only have this short, tiny window of life where you are a teenager and you could make mistakes and it's okay because you could recover from a mistake. When you're married, mistakes they hit a lot deeper and they have a deeper, farther reaching consequence on a mistake that you make when you're married. And I'm talking about as a mistake like you make a bad investment, or you buy a new trunk that's actually a lemon and it breaks down and you shouldn't have

paid that much for a truck. Okay, stupid mistake as a teenager, but at least you didn't bring her into this. Now it's not her problem. So that's what I'm talking about. There's all kinds of you go off and you take a crazy job offer that's a risk, that's low money, but it has a high potential and it ends up being a dud and you lose everything. It's okay as an eighteen year old, that's okay to lose everything. If you're married, you don't want to lose everything. You have

more to lose. You're going to experience this for maybe sixty years. You're going to be made married and you're gonna have responsibility of not only her, but kids and god willing grandkids. And you have to tighten up this ship when you're doing that. But right now you could be a loose cannon. Loosely speaking. Yeah, let's just for the fun of it, let's shift the landscape of what we're talking about here, or the scene. Victor lives on a plot of land that his family has owned for generations.

His grandmother and grandfather live on the property. They got married when they were seventeen. His parents got married when they were seventeen. They all work on this farm in the mountains together. Their school is kind of like just a little bit or it's just different than here. Like they go to school and then they go work in the afternoons and it's like this apprentice kind of growing, which sounds awesome. Actually, but what if that, what if that is the context here for Victor? Is the answer

the same this back to this is a cultural thing. Yeah, I guess, I guess this was question. What if the culture is is like that, if that's the scene, you're right, You're right, and so the answer is not so then if that's the situation, then we just go straight to his question, I want to make more money than just my salary? What advice do you give me? Okay, right, like we got way off of his question. Threw something at him that, Yeah, hey're like whoa sixteen? Hold on, man,

I love let me say too. I love the Mexican culture so much. I love it. I love I love the culture. I love the music, I love the food, I love the work ethic. I love the architecture and the colors and the I love I love the Mexican culture. So I want to come visit you. I want to take you up on your offer and go to Durango and you come here to the Yegee farm and you spend some time with us, and you seem like a really cool kid. And you could work for me. That

would be amazing. You come work for me, that's the answer for some You can come work for me too. If you are looking for options, we'll both of us and we'll trade, will trade, you know, will come stay at your ranch? That would be okay. But that's not as none of this is his question. His question is he wants to make more money right now in Durango as a farmer, as a sixteen year old. What advice

do you give parentheses? Getting married is expensive, So goal make more money so that I can get married because it costs money, right tying those together? So doing it for his girl, which is admirable, I think, well, okay, let's just break this down to he's got a boss.

I'm sure right if we're talking about practical ways that you can make more money, Okay, if I have people come to me all the time, I want to make more money, right, employees, And it's almost like okay, well, you need to find ways to add value to the company that you're a part of. So the farm team, whatever it is that you're a part of, you have to find ways to add value to that. And that could be I'm going to take these very specific tasks

and responsibilities off the plate of my supervisor that person. Ye, so then they get more freed up and I'm Therefore, if I get pulled out of this company, there's a lot more that's at stake. My employer does not want to lose me because replacing me is going to be really difficult. Make it difficult to be replaced. That's how you make more money. Yeah, yeah, that's great. So that's that's in the context of staying in your same job

right now and be someone they can't replace. Be someone that knows how to work the generator, that knows how to work the truck, that knows how to repair the tractor. You're the guy that knows just about everything there on the farm. And you want everyone to think, well, I mean we got to cut back. Who should we cut back? Well, definitely not Victor, because I need him seven different things. So there's that. If you don't want to be part of the farm doing this then, I mean there's there's

stuff like Uber. Can you drive Uber when you're sixteen? I don't know. Last time I went to Mexico, one of the ranch hands that I was working with this reason I even thought about it. I said, what do you do for extra money? And he said he drives Uber And that was in Sonora. So I don't know if you could drive at sixteen, But there's there's a lot of things that you could do, like you clock out from the farm and then you clock in on

the Uber app and you start that. But basically, it's a great question, man, and we wish you the best, and we both think that you shouldn't get married right now. Your grandma and your great grandma and your mom, everybody and your family all lives together and that's kind of the thing, and you have that support and that's cultural differences. Tell them you want you need to go on a a work trip to Texas and work for your buddy Granger. Yeah that's so you can't get married right now, but

you're going to go on this trip. So yeah, thank you, Victor. I appreciate your brother. Here's I just saw your name. Where was that? I literally just saw your name here. It is right there, Granger slash Bernie. I need some advice Hed Granger and guest princees hopefully Bernie. My name is Nick. I'm eighteen. I'm about to start college as

a heavy diesel mechanic. I've had job since I was fifteen, and now I have a pretty good job and it brings It has brought me plenty of good things, and I've always wanted to be I've always wanted to get a bass boat. But I buy things that I probably don't need, and I but I'm trying to read your writing, brother, But I do it anyway and feel like I regret it afterwards. So you buy things that you don't need, and then you regret it. I look at others and what they have at my age, and I always think

I could do better. I struggle at saving money, and I know I need to grow up fast and start a life. It just seems like no matter how much I have, I feel like I don't have enough. I feel like like no matter how much money or materialistic things I have, I feel like I fall short. Sometimes I struggle at saving money. I struggle at looking at everything else that everyone has, and I struggle at looking what I have as a blessing. I always look to the Lord. That will never change. Lately I can't seem

to find happiness. Please help, Thank you. This was a nick This email got worse and worse as it went on. Like it starts off, it's like things are pretty good, a good job, and I just wish I had a bass boat, and then it ends up the very end saying I can't find happiness, or right before that, he said, I always look to the Lord and that'll ever change.

Which I'm gonna challenge that, bro, yep, because if your heart is in that place of like there's no contentment and you feel like you need that, you need that, you're not talking the Lord, because God's gonna be like, y'all need that, bro all he needs me. Hey right here, right here, don't worry about all that material stuff. Like man, I heard of God say the other day that we go to Jesus at the beginning, we go to Jesus for him to fulfill our needs, and then we later

find out he's all we need. And that's so true. It's like, hey, hey Jesus, everyone's been talking about you. I really need you to help fix this all right, I need you to help fulfill this or help me get more of this, or help this person to get well. And then the more we develop in our faith, we realize Jesus, You're just all I need. Yeah, I feel like hyper said I read something recently. Don't pray because you want God to meet your needs. Pray because it

glorifies God to meet our needs. Does that make sense? Yeah? It does. Like, Hey, this is so I think the point is is like there's a posture here that I think is just a little off balance. Yeah. So the specific question, though, is how do I well got worse and worse? But the problem seems to be the source of he two things. One he looks at everyone else like they're doing better than him. And two he buys

things that he doesn't need and then regrets it later. Okay, I wonder how long later, Because if you start using Amazon, you can always like, you know, you got a little window of the time you can just hit refund and return that thing. It's like okay, or you can just ship it back, you know. But hey, I am encouraged by this guy. I mean, he is I can tend to have this like negative perception of the next generation. But we have a lot of teenagers that write in

and they're all hard working. Yeah, and they'll do they'll do a lot of the stuff that most folks don't want to do, and they'll get jobs and they'll work full time too. I'm doing this. I'm It's like, man, that's that part's encouraging. You just got to use that energy towards something else besides trying to you know, fulfill your material. Yeah, he says he's about to start college to be a heavy diesel mechanic. That's a great job. That job is very plentiful to get a job like that.

They're in high demand. There's so much trucks, so many trucks on the road, so many diesel engines on the road, or or generators or what you're you're just going to be in a high demand position. So you're eighteen, we could almost say the same thing as we said to Victor. The great thing, man, The great thing, Nick is you can't afford to make mistakes. Now, see that, Victor. Here's a good example. Nick. He's having financial struggles, but in the end he's eighteen, and it's okay. When this is

when these kind of mistakes. This kind of exploration financially is okay. Like I bought this stupid thing that I thought was cool, and now I regret spending one hundred and thirty four dollars on this and I don't even really use it. Okay, cool, learn from that because you don't have a wife and kids yet that depend on you to make those decisions right. So there's a lot

of positive here. And it's a good example for Victor because Victor was looking at getting married at the same age that Nick is now and Nick is struggling, and man, Nick, you're struggling rightly. Because I was eighteen. I wasn't an idiot. I was idiot eighteen year old. I always think of this in my teenage years. I think in terms of I had blinders like a like a horse, Like I had those horse blinders where all I saw was just

the next step ahead of me. I didn't see anything to the right or left or up or down, and I didn't see the world going on around me. I was hard headed, hard to learn, hard to improve because I had these blinders on. And I think I think that's actually part of the brain development, Like there's yeah, there's yeah, there's doctors that will say, yeah, your brain's not fully developed. Yeah, those frontal lobes are not connected yet. Yeah. Scares the crap out of me for my kids growing up.

Like right, So that's when I want to relate to spec, to Victor and just say, look Victory, look at Nick. You know, here's the question right here. Man making some making some mistakes that are okay. These these are not devastating things, and you're asking the right questions. Like Bernie said, you're learning. Just like Bernie said, I don't think you're leaning into the Lord like you say that you are. I always look to the Lord, and that'll never change.

I don't see the fruits of that in your question. I don't see I don't see very much evidence of a of giving your life to a savior the way that you think you might be. Right did I at eighteen? No, So dude, you're not in You're not in a different boat than I ever was in. But I just want to point that out that you can't add that sentence unless you can have some fruits of that and go, I've given, I give. I look to the Lord like you said, I look to the Lord. And here's evidence

of looking to him, here's the evidence of it. Here's what's what's the evidence peace, hope and joy M hmcause that's you should immediately be able to say, I see evidence, maybe not fully fulfilled, but I see evidence slivers maybe of peace, hope and joy in my life. But the

next thing you said was I can't find happiness. Yeah, and let me just tell you that, no matter how much money you do end up making as a diesel mechanic or the CEO of some big company, like material things are never going to fill you the way that you're thinking it will boom, and it's just not going to do it. So don't you know, there's a ton of people in history, me included probably Grange or two that have you know, we've chased that and thought that

it could do it. It can't. Don't do it. If any advice you listen to, just don't chase that materialistic Hey, if I just had more money, I could buy this thing and it would make me happy. It's not going to happen. Okay. The price tag of what you want always goes up relative to what you're making at the time. That's right. Always, that's right. So if you think one

hundred and thirty four dollars. My example earlier is a lot right now that's going to be seven hundred and thirty four dollars five years down the road, and then it's going to be thirteen hundred and forty five dollars down the road. And then you're going to look at something that's thirteen thousand, and then you're gonna go this is crazy. It's thirteen thousand, and then you're going to be buying a house, and then it's just ungodly amount

of money that you're spending here. It doesn't change, it's relative to what you make if you don't fix the problem that its source. Yep. And one of the problems we see here is you're looking to others, and we know from human experience that never works. You could, it doesn't matter. You could look at me and go, oh, he's he's a singer and he has he's had mild success in music, so now he could just do whatever he wants. You think, I don't look and go Justin

Timberlake man is crushing it. You think Justin Timberlake doesn't go man, Elvis just had it, man, he had guys it Never there's never a cap to it. And guess what happened to Elvis died because of this, Yeah, he died. He died because because material things never fulfilled his happiness that he thought they would. So it's a dangerous circle, man, it's a dangerous circle. And it's just self discipline. Given it to the Lord. Like you said, look to the

Lord and say, God, I'm one with this. I'm giving it to you. And you could give any struggle fill in the blank of your struggle, God, I'm giving it to you. Yeah. I feel like this what was this guy's name again, Nick? Nick? I feel like Nick may have this backwards by his like he kind of, you know, in a secondary kind of way, slips in. I looked

at the Lord and everything. I was just talking with a buddy of mine who is going through a really tough season, and he was saying all of these things, and he's like, and I know that these things are affecting my walk with God. And then I said, well, hold on a second, man, I feel like your walk with God right now may actually be affecting those things. That's not a secondary thing. You looking to the Lord

is not a secondary thing. That is what is affecting your lack of happiness, that is what is affecting your situation. Your lack of looking to God is what is causing a lot of these issues, the discontentment and the need.

I'm trying to feel this. It's like, if we believe in our belief system that if you are truly looking to God in all things and looking to glorify Him with your life, not just with the small little parts here, every square inch of it, you're like, have it that You're not going to have these overwhelming desires for the material things. It's just not going to be there. Like, and if they do come, it's a flash in the pan that you put out really quickly with your grace

is sufficient. God, You are all I need, Like, provide what I need. Give me this day my daily bread, not the bread for the next hundred years, and not a big house to put it in. Just give him my daily bread. That's it. That's good. That's good. Moving on. There's nothing else could be said about that question. That's great, Nick, Okay, here's one says it's very one says, hey, Granger, I wear a mask to school and I don't want to. I also want to quit school. Quit school. Did you

read that, No, read this. I have a mask I have I wear. I have to wear a mask to school, and I don't want to. I also want to quit school. I also want to quit school too. Well, first of all, we need to stay in school. Based on like elevated with just two questions. It just like elevate it all the way to the end. Yeah, this is this is It comes from Aaron. Don't know how old he is, don't know where he is, but yeah, where you want to go with me? I feel like we could go

a lot of different directions with this one. Hey, Aaron, shut up, stay in school. Yeah, by the grammar in your email too, you need to be in school, bro. So hey, we try, we try so hard to to reveal our full heart in this podcast, and we try to in an ultimately an offended world, an easily offended world. We try not to offend, but there's a limit to what we could say that inhibits us to get to the truth. And sometimes, Aaron, you need to hear the truth, dude,

Suck it up. Stay in school. Yeah, absolutely, you know that school is good for you and it's beneficial. Right. Yeah, So let's talk about or let's relate it to like cold showers. You know, I take cold showers. Okay, I could say the same thing as your email. I have to take cold showers and I don't want to. That is true in order to, you know, feel this benefit that I the thing that I feel is beneficial. I have to take cold showers and I don't want to.

I also want to quit taking cold showers. That is true. But you're not going to gain the benefit. It's not the best thing that you feel like you. I mean, you have to make the decision. You want to quit school, quit school, but it's not the most healthy, beneficial decision in your life at this point. Let me say something that's the reason. Let me say something that's super unpopular. But I'm speaking to young people. Listen, listen to me,

young people. And if you ever want to be a leader, if you want to change society, if you want to break the norm of culture, first you need to learn to follow culture and conform to it. You have to conform and be part of culture and be identical to everyone around you. If you ever want to break out and be a leader of it and change it, guys, that's a human fact. It's like you're saying you got to under you got to understand, yes, the current, before

you really know how to swim up straight. It's the old. If you want to be a leader, you first have to learn to follow ye and you can't. There is no leadership without being a follower first. It doesn't happen. Think of the military terms. When when I went to the Core at Texas A and M, for example, it's what I know. As freshmen. The first thing we did is we got a buzz cut. We had to throw away or pack away and send off any clothes that we had that didn't look the same as everyone else.

We had to wear a uniform that was identical. No one got anything special. No one got any different shoelaces or different watch, our different belt. Everyone looks the same because it's the Core at A and M is a leadership program, just like the military, where they know that in Navy seal training whatever, they break you down to the core human. First, they get rid of any human identity that you might have and they conform you to

the people around you. Then as you grow and you learn, you're able to take on what you've learned from that conformity and break out from it. And lead people out of it. What's my point, Aaron, wear the mask? Why? Because it's the rule. I don't care what you think that it's gonna You were going to change the world by being the one at sixteen years old, guessing your age that steps out and says, I don't wear a mask because I'm going to change the world. No one

will believe you because you're not believable yet. That's good. Yeah, wearing the mask is the standard you've talked about. I think you and Parker may have talked about this in the last one, Like wearing the mask right now at your school is the standard. Your feeling is that you don't like it, and so if the standard goes against how I feel, then I'm just not gonna My action is going to be based on my feelings, which you guys did a great job. Go back and listen to

that podcast on kind of like encouraging people. Don't you can't trust your feeling, you can't be led by feeling. This is the standard, do the hard things. And if we're speaking to that generation, I don't think it's this next you know, like the gen z or malinia. I don't think it's just I think this has been for history. They call them hard things because they're hard, like they're hard to do. But do the hard things. They're so beneficial for you. Yeah, man, that's so good. Don't take

these statements out of context from me and Bernie. We're not talking about the old congressman, or the old senator, or the old the old man down the street that's been through everything. I'm talking to you, Aaron. In school right now, you're still learning conformity and that that word is so unpopular right now. But if they tell you to wear a purple hat because that's the rules to stay in school, follow the rules until you're out of school. Yeah, then you'll be a leader one day. Then you'll be

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One more thing to not take out of context is we're not talking about morality or a moral code or the Ten Commandments. You know what I mean. If you're told as a kid to murder someone and that goes against your moral code, which hopefully it does, you don't do it. Yeah, but that's not what we're talking about. That's okay. I just had to be totally clear and just in case anyone goes, what if they tell you

to kill somebody were supposed to conform. Yeah, maybe that is just the double edged sort of living in this generation, the digital age as we live in, kind of these soundbites that can be so taken out of context and it's like there's nothing you can do. Man. Yeah, we're not talking about morality. We're talking about clothing. Yeah, it's okay, we want to go there. If they tell you to dress like a girl on purpose, that's technically going against

your ethics also, right, So it's not totally clothing. Yeah, there may be some time where the thing that you're a part of is something that you just have to leave, right. Yeah, But in this context, we're assuming that the school that they are going to is where their parents have sent them, that this is a good choice, and this is more just like immature rebellion, like I don't want to do that, so I'm gonna quit. I'm gonna take my ball and go home kind of things like here's a total switch

gear here. Do you believe there's someone for everyone? Hey, Granger, this isn't something I talk about much, but it crosses my mind a lot. Do you believe that there's someone for everyone in this world? Genuinely curious on your thoughts because I've always thought I've always thought so, but the older I get, the more that that thought changes for me. Relationships don't come easy for me. It's been thirteen years

since I've been in a relationship. I've adapted to being alone, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to be with someone to share my life with. It's also been so long because for most of my life, I felt that I couldn't be who I really was with my family and didn't have to didn't have the courage to come out to my family until five years ago. I'm almost thirty three and beginning to feel as if there was

no one out there for me. Thanks for taking time to answer Sarah from Ohio that she's talking about she's homosexual. I read that little part one with sound because yes, I don't think that's her question. But she may be gay, may say it's been it's been so long because most of my life I felt like I couldn't be who I really was with my family, didn't have the courage to come out to my family to find I think, Okay, so yeah, but I don't think that's her that's her question.

The questionly is is there's somebody for everybody. My immediate answer to you, Sarah is no, I don't. I don't think that that that there's like this cosmic mystic idea that there's one person on the globe and then there's another person and they're just like there's some like karma that just draws them together magically, and if you miss

that chance, you're never gonna see that person. So that answer is no. We said this earlier, or maybe we said it on another podcast, that love is a decision and you you're you, You base it on your capatibility and you you measure them and how they measure up to your life, and when it's a match, you make the decision go all in, let's love. Yeah. I think in a culture that is that idolizes and puts relationships on a pedestal like marriage and companionship, that that is

the goal. So that can very much make people feel like, well, if I don't have someone, then I'm not I'm not reaching the goal. I'm not doing what the culture tells me is the most important thing. Totally. But I don't think that's right. I mean mean, Jesus wasn't married, Paul wasn't married. There's I mean people throughout history that you can think they just had a different goal called to singleness.

They had a different goal in mind, and so I think that you probably have to just consider what's your goal. I don't I agree with Griz, like just on a basic level, there's I don't think that there's like the one out there for everybody. I think that there's a lot of folks that will live a single life their entire life, and they can be extremely joyful in that. Yeah, totally. So, I mean, let's speak in a couple more things. She said. In the back half of this email, she said she's

adapted to being alone. I just want to say this. I want to speak to everyone that might be in the situation. First of all, Sarah, props to you for adapting to be alone, because we get a lot of emails that's say the opposite, like I can't I just can't be alone. I don't know what to do. So you've learned it. I saw this is where i'mna speak to everyone. I saw a long long time ago on TV. I think it was that remember that TV show Bonanza, like that old Western show. Yea. I remember there was

this one random scene. It just like burned into my brain. But they go up to visit this old man on that's lived in a little cabin on a mountain, and one of the guys told the old man, They said, man, you live here, it must be really lonely. And the old man boom burned in my mind. He looked right at him and he goes, it's better to be lonely alone than lonely with somebody else. Like, apply that to our lives all across the board. It's better to be

lonely alone than lonely with somebody else. So I'm speaking to you, Sarah, that's really yourd You've adapted to be an alone, but that doesn't mean that it's going to be better just because you're with somebody. I also want to speak to this part about I couldn't be who I was around my family. That's I hate. I hate that that. I hate that that anyone that anyone just can't no matter, no matter the situation, that you're not allowed to be upfront, be honest, because things could get

fixed and kicked up. And I was thinking about this. Okay, I'm gonna go deep for a second. Yesterday was super windy in Austin, Texas, crazy windy, and I was thinking about how God made the world and and all the systems of the world and how perfect it all is. And I was thinking, what would happen if there was no wind? I g If it didn't exist because it was never part of creation, the world would probably end. I think. I'm not a scientist, but I think the

world would not survive without wind. It carries seeds across oceans, It fertilizes fields, it moves its clouds, clouds, rain flocks of birds. So much of the of the TikTok of the world is conformed by wind. And and it wind also just knocks the dead stuff loose, like trees. They couldn't survive without the wind, just knocking all that dead leaves and branches and all the plants, and it just kicks it around and breaks it loose and separates the

dead stuff. And that's what That's what being honest with your family does too. Nothing is going to ever change the dead stuff, and things aren't going to get fixed or are helped at all if it just there's no wind. A silent man that's so good, that is really really good. Do you make that up? Yeah? I actually did. Thank you for emailing. You should be a public speaker or write a book or something like that. Burns you want

to go to New Baby Advice. Termination from Jobs, Girl Help and Faith, Extreme sexual Curriculum in school by h. Griz. I'm gonna go where you take us, brouh, go where you take us, man. This is the Granger Smith podcast, not the Bernie Big I think, just to change subjects completely, let's go to New Baby Advice. Okay, hey, Granger and I would have picked the sex one, so it's probably better. Okay, Okay,

we can still do that. I currently have a two and a half year old daughter and a seven week old son at I want to bond with my son and grow a relationship, but I feel bad about taking time away from my daughter when she may not understand why I'm taking time away from her to hang out with my son. Working Monday through Friday in the normal adult chores on the weekend don't help the free time I have to split my time between both kids and

my wife. Any advice on how to bond with my new son without feeling like I'm the weakened that I'm wakening in the relationship with my daughter. Thanks so much for the advice, Tyler from Ohio. He said, this podcast has pushed me to get a Bible and start to read it every morning, So thank you for that. That's awesome. Man, Man, it's a good question, and I feel for Tyler. I feel this. But man, the fact that he's asking it means that he's not going to do any wrong here, right, Absolutely?

Can we assume that mom is in the picture or not in the picture from what he's saying. Yeah, because yeah, he says, I don't want to split the time between my kids, both my kids and my wife. Okay, yeah, I think that that's just a natural part of life. Would would you agree that you as you add another member to the family, your time and your attention just has to be divided. Yeah, there's no there's no way that you can give equal one hundred percent percent hundred

percent like you just can't. So you you just you're doing the right thing. You're asking the right questions. You're you're digging into the word, which is awesome. It's going to help guide your you know, ability to discern like what they need and how to serve your wife and how to lead your family. But I think you're just going to have to feel it out and and and be aware of man, am I being really selfish with

my time? Because I said on the podcast that I didn't want to like neglect the time here and here, but really fifty percent of my time's going to myself. Yeah, and then I got little time here, a little time there. Start to just examine those things, and I think you'll I think you'll be okay. We've both been through that struggle of the new baby, right, I mean, Griz, you're

in it right now. Yeah, new baby yep. And so so let's just go practically speaking, because I've already said Tyler that I think you can't go wrong because you're a dad that cares enough to ask this podcast that says something. You're aware of that there's something going on here. But let's just go practically speaking. You know, Boom, first, don't neglect your wife. She's first, Make her first, Make

her more important than both kids. Your kids are very important, so she better be very very important, you know what I mean. She's got to be really high, So don't neglect her, and don't don't split your free time more to them and less to your wife. That's gonna hurt

you in the long run and real quick. Because that also, I think we forget that that ministers to our kids, Like our relationship with our wife is our number one ministry period we think like even guys that are in full time ministry pastors or our work is our ministry. It's like the way that we serve and speak to and treat our wives is our number one ministry. That people will look at and say, wow, that represents the

gospel or man, that's yea. I don't. I'm so confused how he can speak about you know, Jesus loving the church as his bride, and but yet he treats his pride. That's so confusing. It's like, no, that's our number one thing, and ad ministers to our kids too, So yeah, it has to be first. The next step. Just practically speaking, right now, Tyler, your son, there's not much bonding you could do with it. There's way more bonding you could do with a two and a half year old daughter

right now than you can with your son. Once again, Bernie and I are assuming a normal situation your family. You have the family nucleus, that's your wife is not divorced. I don't know, I think he's with her anyway. If that's the case, the baby needs mommy right now more than you. It doesn't mean that you can't help her out and take her out of your hands, but he's really more I'm speaking from my own experience right now,

he's more of a household chore right now than your son. Really, he will be very soon, But I think, once again, practically speaking the daughter, you could speak more fatherhood into her right now as a two and a half year old daddy daughter dates, ice cream dates, get in the car, go to the park dates, which will also help leave the pressure from your wife and the house a little bit so she could get some stuff done with the baby. And you're constantly going fishing or to the park, to

the swing set, to the ice cream shop. I think those kind that bonding will pay back dividends in y'all's relationship now more than a seven week year old son who is closer to an alien than a human. No, you're right, and hopefully you're tyler. You're having these conversations

with your wife, that's number one. Like, hey, babe, I'm kind of feeling torn, like I'm not able to bond and like maybe you guys work out a system and maybe she feels the same about the two and a half year old man, I'm just doing this baby stuff. I don't feel like I get time with the daughter and so communication is going to be really important too. They don't get on the same page. Yeah, don't a plan.

Don't take me out of context. I'm not saying don't bond with your son and don't hang The bonding you do with your son, though, is one sided your side. You're bonding with him, he could care less. Yep, not there yet, Not there. But the two n half yeal girl she is and she loves ice cream? Yep. Okay, do you wanted to go to the sex one? Yeah? Why not? Hey, Granger and guest, I'm from North Carolina.

I've been seeing in the news lately a lot about curriculum in school, specifically the literature that they are required to read. Some of those books are extremely sexual and perverse. My own daughter has had to read a book in

high school that depicted incest and rape. My question to y'all is what is your opinion on the curriculum in school and do you think our kids are being overly sexualized by just about everything i e. Social media, school, internet, parents, etc. I have a problem with the way things are going in the world. Thank you for your time, keep up the good work and all that you do. This is Christy from North Carolina. Man. I was literally thinking about

this on my drive up here. I was literally thinking about a question like this because I know that this stuff is happening, and parents are they're seeing these things, they're responding this way, and so guys, again, I don't know if this is right. This is just my thought. Me and Grange with you sitting around a campfire, just kind of spitballing, right. I feel like as parents we can tend to want to prepare the path for our

kids instead of preparing our kids for the path. Right, you've heard that before, right, so in this situation, but I feel like what that can do is it can manifest itself to I don't know enough about the subject and the information, and this could be about faith, this could be about you know, politics, this could be about I'm not willing to take the time because everybody's busy.

I'm not willing to take the time to actually think about what I believe about this situation and what's being taught I'm not taking the time to formulate an opinion that is founded in truth so that I can have a conversation with them about what is being seen and what we believe in what is true. So therefore I'm just gonna say, well, that's bad. I don't want to put that in front of them because then they're gonna ask me, and I don't know what to say. It's

self preservation. I don't think you've ever been this excited about a question every podcast you've been on. This is the loudest your voices ever gotten. I know. I don't know why. I'm sorry, guys, I just fired up. I think it is because there is this, you know, and they hit on social media and media in general and

digital age and everything. It is we are becoming less and less about thinking and that, yes, I am passionate about that, because we are becoming more and more feeling based and less like, Okay, I'm gonna just take a walk and think, I'm gonna give my mind space. We don't do that. We cram it in with every possible moment filled with some kind of entertainment. We're not consuming

or we're not producing any real thoughts. We're just consuming thoughts and ideas of others, and then we're letting that kind of like mold us into like parents that just want to prepare the path for our kids so they don't have to face anything and ask us about it. I'm off the soapbox, guys. I'm sorry. I could attest. What Bernie's saying is not a new idea from him. You've been saying this for years and years and years, and I could remember it was probably six years ago.

I remember you going off about this subject about Boston, your son, and how you were trying to teach him to contribute to the world more than he's taking from it. Remember that, And this is a long time ago because he how old is he now, like eleven eleven? This is probably six seven, eight years ago when he was pretty young, and you were just you were just like really hyped up about this. I'm trying to teach this kid to contribute to this world more than he takes

from it, and you are. What you're hitting on is basically the idea of preparing your kid for the world versus protecting your kid from the world. And we have learned, first of all, it's impossible to protect your kid from the world. It's impossible, but it is very possible to prepare them for it. If you don't teach them something anything I'm talking it could be sex education, or it could be throwing the baseball. If you don't teach them, somebody will. Who would you rather it be? You? Are

somebody else that you don't know yet. So we need to stop relying on outside sources to tea to teach our kids. Anything that's important to us needs to first come from us. And if you if you don't discipline, we could say the same thing about discipline. If you don't discipline your kids because you don't believe in discipline, or you're you think it's too mean, or whatever reason, somebody in this world will instead of you. So I ask again, who would you rather discipline your kid? You

or somebody else? Because it's going to happen either way, and I'm not talking about doesn't necessarily have to be spanking. It could be a police officer is going to arrest them. That's discipline in some way. So if you don't, somebody will. So this is this pattern. Christy, you have a great heart. I know you do, and you care about your kids, and I love this question. I love your email. So this is nothing on you, as we're just generalizing the idea that we have to prepare our kids and stop

trying to protect them because we can't. It's going to break loose somehow. They're going to learn. They're going to see what were you talking about rape? And what did you say incess rape? Yeah, your kids are gonna see. Your daughter is going to see it, whether the school shows it to them or not. So you want to prepare them. Hey, she's in high school. This is a this is prime time to talk about it. Yeah, and it's uncomfortable and sometimes I've heard it put in this way.

If you want to talk about something uncomfortable with your kids, put them in a situation where you don't have to look at each other. Oh yeah, like not at a table where you're looking. Instead, be on the front porch and you're both looking out. Driving in the car, driving in the car, driving in the car, great example that way, there's no uncomfortable eye contact. You're driving is a great example. You're driving and you say, hey, I want to talk

to you about something that's uncomfortable. But it's it happens, and you're old enough you could understand it and it's rape or it's incests. Yeah, and if your kid is in high school, I would. And this is this is to all parents, and this is to us, and and we're in this struggle, guys with you, and we're trying to encourage each other, all of us to do this. Don't. Don't, if at all possible, wait till they're in high school to start building these channels that you can connect with

your kid on these things. If you start having the conversations in high school, I feel like the window of that trust a lot of that has already passed. So but don't. If they're in high school and you have done it, start just go ahead and start. Don't don't quit or you know, don't just give up, like try

to engage in the conversations. But as early as possible, first, talk to your significant other, talk to your husband, talk to your wife whomever, about Hey, when do we have this conversation when you know, Boston just went to middle started middle school, so we before he started, we have some conversations that were pretty uncomfortable. But it was I was shocked with like the answers he would just answer, and he was like, well, what about this, Well, what

about this? I'm like, yeah, dude, like, come on, this is so uncomfortable. Let's talk about it. Start as early as you can so that when they are, you know, getting older, it becomes a little more natural. But be on the same page with your spouse about because there are certain things where it's like, if I, you know, showed pictures of rape to my son right now, I

don't if I can. There there is a time that we can kind of protect them from certain things until their minds are at a place where it's like, Okay, hey, we feel like you're gonna start getting exposed to this and so we need we need to talk about that. So we're not saying, just like your toddler, sharks start showing them these pictures. That's not what we're advocating. But it's more of the open the channels of the relationship. You you really want to get there, Put your phone down,

for the love of God, put your phone down. Put their phone down, Okay, be present with them. That's how

these conversations are really going to happen. That's how you're gonna understand what they're thinking and to read their body language because they're they're why you And if you're on your phone, then they're gonna want to be on their phone, and who knows, you know what they're going to be looking at and what they're exposed to like, and you're you don't have long to have those conversations, guys, so just try I'm doing it myself, like, just try to

be present with them and try to engage in some of these conversations and make them strong. This is making

them stronger and prepared, preparing, preparing, not protecting. That's so good, Burns, and so Christy, be the be the person to your daughter that she could bounce off all ideas too, so she you are her source of truth right now, until she's old enough to have her own source of truth, be her bouncing board where she say, Hey, if you hear anything strange or interesting or weird, come to me and I'll talk you through it and build that trust with her where she knows I can even though it's weird.

Hey mom, let me tell you about what I heard today. And then you could speak into her and go, yeah, I remember we talked about this a couple of years ago. And so this is what they're gonna teach you. Now, This is what we believe in our family, and it could be that. We could be talking about any subject here, but you have to build that trust. Don't ever rely on an outside source outside of your family to teach your kids anything. First, I'm talking about football, coach, baseball,

coach volleyball, I'm talking about science. I'm talking about what Okay, scept mathematics. Okay, I'm anna pass on math. Teacher could teach first math because I'm not as good. But it could be about history, I mean anything. We need to be able to prepare and stop worrying about protecting Christy. I love your heart and I think you're right on. And I don't think you're did you're doing this. I just think you're just you're being the wind right now

and you're kicking off some dead branches, which is great. Yeah, don't take them out of the fight. Go into the fight with them. That thought, I love that thought. Before we get out of here, burns yep, I want to give up just a couple shoutouts Lance Osen and I want to give him a shout out for being a longtime, longtime listener, and shout out to his boys Vin and Bo. Thank you guys. So much. Dacota Cagle, thank you for listening. Appreciate you so much. Brother Tim Arnold. This is a

birthday shout so birthday shout out to Tim Arnold. Thank you for listening. Amandarina Rainier Mandarin it is. This is your birthday shout out. Thank you for listening from New Jersey and Rinita McCall, Thank you so much for listening from North Carolina and Simon Thorpe. Thank you so much. I appreciate you guys so much, and thank you everybody for listening on all the different platforms that make sure you make sure you go and leave a review for

this podcast so granger can continue world domination. Love you guys, Yege, thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie