Tried to outrun a train. Bad idea.

So I decided, Hey, take my buddy and we're going to throw a backpack on, put some energy bars in our bags and some water, and walk down a train track. And that's when we almost got hit by a train. I brought my buddy. His name is Bernie, and he's going to be on the podcast today. Bernie and I have kept in touch since then for twenty one years. He's one of my best friends in the world. And the dude is so smart. I could call this guy if I ever need advice or just need to talk

or need to chat about something. He always gives me that sound advice that I need. And it occurred to me recently when I was at his House. I was like, man, not everybody in the world has a Bernie like I do. I feel lucky that I could just call him and get some advice, but not everybody has that. So I thought I'll bring him on the podcast and he could help me kind of dive into some of these questions from you guys, which I get from you if you

email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. So Bernie and I are going to talk about some of our stories, our misadventures in life. We're going to answer some of your questions, and I think it's gonna be a really good show. I want to give some shout outs like I always do. This first one goes to Tyler Claxton and Ontario. Thank you Buddy. Shout out to Tyler. This next one goes out to Dakota and he is turning thirteen years old from Freedom, Wisconsin. What's Up? A code?

Shout out to Lee Kaufman from Mandersville, Pennsylvania. What's Up? Shout out Johnny House. This goes out to you man. He's also a fan of Butcher Bull and all the other YouTube series and the song Stutter. What's Up? Johnny? Shout out to Josh prouty and Josh even sent me a picture. He says he's got the EEE hat on. You're looking good, Josh, appreciate you, bro. Nicole Dottie says, I'm Nicole and my birthday is coming up on January fourth, which we just missed, and she wants to get a

shout out and her favorite song is Remington. Thank you, Nicole, and we'll do another one. But Keegan Woodworth, what's up? Keegan from a small town in Michigan. I appreciate you so much. If you guys ever want to shout out, just same email Granger Smith Podcast, I said gmail dot com. This is gonna be a good episode. We are going to get to some serious stuff and some stupid stuff too. Welcome to the podcast, did Chid and d my tires and so long line of my fool of husband down

fact Rangy cover Nation. So when I moved to Nashville to be a songwriter in the year two thousand, I knew one person. I take it back, I knew of one person from a friend in Texas. That's it. That's only. That's the only person I even knew of, And so it was one degree of separation. Her name was Angela. And that literally came about with one of my friends said, oh, I know a girl in Nashville. You're moving there. Cool, her name's Angela. Here's her number. I was like, okay,

I'm not gonna call this random person. So I moved there July one, two thousand and I remember that, you know, mom came and helped me move, and you know, we got a nice We went out to a restaurant and got like my last hot meal, and then she went back to Texas and July second came, July third came, and I was like sitting in that apartment by myself, and I was like, all right, where's that number, the

where's that girl? You know? So I pulled I pulled out that you know, back then, we didn't have everything in our phones. So I remember pulling out that paper. Yeah, we didn't have phone, we didn't have phones. Yeah, I pulled out that piece of paper. You know it says Angela. And I was like dude, and I was like, hey, Angela, my name's Granger. I know you threw so and so and I just moved here from Texas. I don't know anybody. And she was like, oh, well, I have some people

in my apartment right now. Once you coming over, here's the address, I was like, okay, So I drove over there and you were there. I was there. They were like, oh, this is Bernie. He's a Texan and I was like, hey, I'm Granger. And then just instantly we had this connection. It was you know, it started because we were Texans. But I don't even remember why I was there. I don't remember my connection. How I got to that house.

How did I know Angela? I don't know. Maybe no, I don't even remember how I got to that house. All I remember is like this, like shining Texas star shows up and we couldn't be more different. But then Sean got a guitar and you started playing and I was like, dude, that was awesome. And then I started playing very different music and you were like, dude, that's awesome. And so it was as if everybody else faded away

and me and Granger just became friends. Yeah. Yeah, and we obviously we don't keep in touch with those other people, but me and you just had this connection and it has lasted now twenty years, twenty one years in July getting old bro, that's crazy. Yeah, and that our relationship has lasted. You know. You moved back to that to Texas in two thousand and three or two three oh two o two, and then I moved back to Texas in four but we still didn't, you know, even when

we were out of state, we kept in touch. When we moved back to Texas, I moved to College Station and you were in Austin, were you San Marcus? And then so we were we still you're still now you're in South Austin and I'm way up and north, and so we still don't live close, but we, you know, twenty one years later, still keep in touch. And you're the guy that I will call if there's something big happened in my life or there's a big decision I need to make. I'm like, hey, Burns, I got something

for you. And the cool thing about what we have and I'm sure people listening have this kind of relationship with somebody, but we have that ability to no matter how much time has gone by. Could be eight months have gone by, we haven't even talked, which has happened? Yeah, and then boom we get on the phone and it's

like we just saw each other yesterday. We get right back into it, and I always value You're such a you're a deep thinker, but you're also a really good listener and I value that, and I value your opinion. And through everything I've done, through getting married to having kids, to you know, career changes, you were involved in those decisions, whether you know it or not, whether you just listened to me. And then we hung up, and I was like,

Bernie was right. You didn't even have to say thing, but the way that you listen would convince me either I'm right or I'm not seeing this clearly. Sure. I mean I can say the same thing about you. And what's cool is that I think we're probably saying back and forth things that we both know, but sometimes hearing it from the other person and it just kind of like sits a little bit differently. It's affirmation of everything

that you're kind of feeling. And yeah, I hope that there's people out there that have a friend like that. I think part of that ability to immediately kind of like just get back on track is the willingness to be kind of real with each other and the depth that has been in the relationship. Because if our relationship was if any of your friendships or relationships are based

on like surface things. Then when those surface things change and you get back together, it's like, oh, well, you don't do this anymore, and there's nothing but it's it's been a strange ride with you. Man. There's been so many strange times that you've called me and said, hey, I'm thinking about doing this. I'm like, dude, I'm doing that. Like, hey, I haven't talked to you in like over ten times.

That's happened. Yeah, big life decisions that I'm really deliberating on, and I'll call you for some advice, and you're going to be like, man, I'm actually going through something very similar right now. It's really weird and I can't explain

that connection we've had. We were together, you know, in the same town at nine to eleven, So it's interesting with all the crazy stuff going on in the world now, me and you experienced nine to eleven together, and part of our response to nine to eleven was let's get out of here, let's get out, let's run away. Like everybody else. We had watched TV for you know, twenty

four hours straight. Yeah, and eventually we just kind of got fed up, and so I think I came over to your house with like some toilet paper and a sleeping bag. And I was like, bro, we gotta go. Let's let's get what are we going to do. We're going we got to get away from all this. Yeah, And so we set out on foot for what better place than a train track? Train track? So we're like, let's just and I mean, we were very young, but

the idea didn't seem dumb at the time. It felt like the most brilliant thing that we come up with, Like, of course we're going to follow these train tracks. They're gonna take us somewhere good. And so I'll skip ahead a little bit. So when it got dark, and for anybody out there that doesn't know much about trains, you know, typically they just have like a really big light, you know, on the front of them. They will sound their horn,

except for when they're in the middle of nowhere. So Grange and I Grizz, So I've called him for a long time. Me and Griz are out in the middle of nowhere. We've gotten to that destination and we're just still talking. And the train track is kind of here and there's kind of a ravine down into these fences on either side and we kind of see this light way in the distance and we think like, oh, that's

we're coming up on something. And we keep coming or keep walking, and that thing keeps getting closer to us, and we kind of look at each other like, well, if it was a train, they would be honking their horn, right, we would know it's a train. That thing probably gets like fifty feet in front of us, and we now hear the engine and we look at each other like no, we jump slide down the ravine in between the fence and the ravine. This thing is what ten feet from

our fasts ten feet max. I've never been that close to a train before. It's so loud. Yeah, it's terrifying. So it's like going past us and we're looking at each other like a but we can't hear we can't hear each other yelling and so uh so then we that took a lot a lot of our confidence out of our own our escape. Yeah, we were like, maybe following the train track not best idea. Let's go on to these people's land that's private property. Let's where we

make a camp. So we jumped, jumped through the fence, jumped to the fence, made a campfire, set up camp with no tent or anything. We had toilet paper, We just had matches, and we had a little snacks, some snacks. Yeah. Eight those in like first five minutes, We're like, damn hungry. Yeah. So that's that's our response to nine to eleven. And for those of y'all that didn't live through nine to eleven,

it was crazy. I mean, everyone's looking at the news today and they're like, oh, this is this is great, this is wacky. But when it was a foreign threat that we didn't know why or where they came from, or when they were going to hit us again, or how we were going to retaliate, we didn't know any of those things. That was absolutely terrifying, absolutely terrifying. What's crazy is the difference in the response to what's happening now. When we are like attacked by an outside threat. It's like,

I don't care what you look like. You believe, dude, we're in this together. We're unified, yes, and through what we're experiencing now, it's like, man, can we just remember that we're all human, we're all like trying to get through this. We're you know, together. So I hope that somehow that can come out of this is just a reminder of our own you know, humanity, our own similarities that hey, we're all just trying to figure this thing out. Yeah,

I remember nine to eleven. In the aftermath there was these pictures of neighborhoods or every single house had American flag flying out in by the front door. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, And not to say that that stuff is not happening, there's exactly. There's a ton of that. And maybe one of the biggest differences is the amount of media that

is available and being consumed in the different platforms. Back then, it was like you just turn off your TV and you know, you don't have to worry about your phone or social media or all these different things kind of trying to feed you different perspectives, and for better or for worse, it was like, we just turned it off.

And dude, can you imagine if nine to eleven it was the social media age of today and there was viral videos of people that were in the buildings that were taking video and tweeting it out or sending it out right before they jumped out of the window, or you know, we would have seen things that you can't unsee that's right. Yeah, yeah, man, it's crazy, which is evidence that there's no doubt that social media and the connectivity of the world now has heightened everyone's fear and alertness.

And I hear people all the time saying this is as bad as it's ever been. We're more divided than we've ever been, and I'm like, really, the Civil War, like, this is more than that, Like the Revolutionary War, this

is more than that. Yeah, And I'm not arguing against them, I'm just saying, let's just think about the fact that we could see it on our phones now and what would we have seen in the Civil War if people were tweeting out the pictures and images and videos and yeah, yeah, I mean the things that we have to live with that we've been exposed to, the things that our kids will now see from a young age that we didn't,

that our parents didn't like. I think just that exposure changes your mind in different ways and maybe even ways we don't even understand. I mean, this whole true technology thing, especially social media, it's all very new. I feel like we're the generation that a couple from now, they're going to look at us and be like, man, those idiots did not know how to handle their technology. Oh yeah, you know, we'll be all over the history books. That's

the idiots. I know. People right now listen to this podcast. There's already been a thousand comments already on we're talking about. Well, let me just say first, like, I'm very grateful that Griz asked me to be on here. I hope you'all take it easy on me. I'm just every day dude. I don't got all the answers or anything like that, but I'm honored to sit next to my friend and just talk about life and the dumb mistakes that we've made and hopefully other people can learn from them. Yeah.

I brought you on not just so we could sit here and talk, but so that we could engage with some questions that other people have asked. Yeah, and the reason it's you sitting here is because if it was a really tough question I was deliberating with, I would call you. And so I like to think that if someone doesn't, this will benefit them, because not everyone has access to burns on their speed dial like I do. Sure, so I feel very blessed to have you on the other end of the phone, and I want to be

able to get some of these people in your ear also. Yeah, and we could just kind of tackle some of these questions. So if you've followed this podcast before, you know that you could ask me anything at any time. Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. Email your questions Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, and well archive it. Can't get to it immediately because there's a lot of them, but we'll we'll get to it eventually. And and if you send something and you don't hear me answer it, don't

send it again or don't forward it. I'm archiving. Don't worry. It's it's there. Don't worry about that. So Burns I got. I kind of went through this morning and I found this one, this one, this one. You know. Then they're really all over the place. Most of them are a little bit of a deep level because the the easy questions I could answer on my own time. But but there are all different subject matters, so you want to jump into it. Yeah, he hit me with it. Let's see. Okay, Hey, Granger,

my name is Stetson Outlaw. Is that your name? Bro? That awesome? Wow, my name is Stetson Outlaw. That's the cool. That's one of the cool. Okay, do you don't need any answers name? He goes, yes, that's my real name. I'm a first gen farmer in rural Saskatchewan and your music is the only music allowed to be played in our big green tractors. You and Amber are great people and helped me to be a better father and husband.

I have a daughter from a previous relationship, and the mom is trying to do everything in her power to stop my daughter from seeing me, saying by saying I'm too busy, or my new wife takes priority and getting to know her half sister that my wife and I had together. My question is how would I cope and what would I say to my daughter when the time comes when she asked why I didn't want to see her. She's my savior from a very horrible life, and I want nothing more but having my two girls with me

all the time. I really value your wisdom and opinions. You two are the most amazing couple in parents, just says. He ends it with Observe everything, admire nothing, stetson. I'm a fan of this guy, Yeah for sure. Yeah, he's got his head in the right place because he's questioning a lot I think a lot of people let this moment pass them by and when it's too late and the daughter comes to them twenty years later and you're

dealing with it then. So you're dealing with it now stetson, which is awesome And it's hard for burning, no, because we don't know all of the details as far as when the mom is trying to do everything in her power to stop her from seeing you, if that means a court order. But my first thought on this is be relentless towards your daughter, hold nothing back. If it's a court order, you know, like legally you cannot see her, which that sounds crazy, but if it is, I would

start a diary, writing a diary to her. Absolutely. Yeah, dear daughter, it's January twenty twenty one. Yeah, I'm doing this, this, this, I'm thinking about you. You said, she's my savior from a very horrible life. Just talk about talk to her through this journal, and then one day, when that day comes, if she says, where were you, dad, you go, here's these a box of notebooks that I've written to you. Yeah,

that's really good. Let me just affirm one of the things that he said about Granger number They really are two of the best humans that I can think of, and I really value everything that he said about me. I value me and my wife Leslie, and we value them and their life experience, their perspective, just who they are.

That's why you guys are emailing them questions. It's because they're very genuine and authentic what they believe and what they stand for and what they say they actually do and that's very rare, and so I just want to firms that's and yeah, your questions are coming to a really, really great place. And so I feel as though time will tell the truth. And sometimes it's hard to be patient.

I think, like Granger said, if you can be diligent in your effort, that even though it may feel like you're distant now, and she may feel that distant now, if you have these kids are really intuitive. And I'm not sure how old does he say how old she is? No, kids can sense when there's like genuine effort and like sacrifice of you know what I want. I don't care about that. I just want to be with you. And also a lot of times when people say things, it's

more about them than it is you. So your ex wife and her the whatever she's saying to try to like separate you and keep you guys. I really think it's an opportunity for you to show her some grace and to display that for your daughter, because there's gonna come a time that she grows up and you guys are going to talk about this and for you to be able to discuss just the grace that God gave you to give to her during this time and that

truth eventually kind of came up. I think that that will definitely help you, know, propel that relationship, sustain that relationship, and really just trust in who you are and trust in the things that you're doing, and that she's going

to recognize the effort. Man, that's great, that's great, And I totally agree because, like Bernie said, kids are intuitive and that foundation that you build with her now of showing that effort and the fact that you eve an email, you know, a podcast to ask this tells me you spent a lot of time in your green tractor thinking

about it. And I would just encourage you to continue thinking about it and continue if that is and I think it should be by the way, it should be a priority, and if if you believe it is then the the effort that you put into it will equal how much it means to you. It should anytime someone says they really want something, the effort they put into that want proves how much they actually wanted it, because anyone could say, man, I want to I want a

six figure job one day. But if you're not putting the effort into it, then you didn't really want Yeah, so really want her. Pursue her. There's actually a book, you know, Wild of Heart, the girl version of that. It's called it's written by Eldridge's wife. It's called uh Okay, you guys are gonna have to google John. His name

is John Eldridge, wild Oh Captivating. It's called captivating, and it's about it's the it's about raising daughters, and they just want daughters want to know that they're worthy and they're loved and they're admired, and that they're captivating to first, starting with their father. They want to know that they can captivate their father. And if you could prove to her that that she captivates you regardless of the space that's in between you, then she's she's gonna love you

in the end. Absolutely. And there's ways stetson that you could do that even from a distance, coming from a broken home. I can attest that if you get creative and you just show that effort like he's talking about, she's gonna see it. She's going to know the truth. It just kids are kids are better than us. That just kind of weeding out, you know, the fake and seeing the real thing. Yeah, that's of luck to you, my man. We're going to take a quick break, be

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Thank you for listening to this free podcast for you, and we're gonna get right back to it. Ey switching gears on questions if you have anything for me? Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and going from parenthood to career slash faith, so that this is the subject is your faith versus your career? It says, Hey Granger. I'm Daniel from Clemens, North Carolina. My wife and I have been following you for a while and all the content that you create, we share the same core doctrines of

faith that you've expressed on your shows. Piper MacArthur and wanted to encourage you to keep doing what you're doing. Man side note, Bernie introduced me to John Piper question, how do you balance your faith with being a country music singer when you're appealing to a market where quote bad behavior is celebrated and sells. The reason I ask as we listen to a lot of your music with our kids, so unfortunately I end up skipping your chance when other people's songs pop up and the content is

below our standards. Thanks again for taking the time to read this and using your platform to share your faith journey, Daniel, So this and this is a common a common question.

And I heard a guy tell me a long time ago that was a Christian that sang country music, and he told me that he chose country music over Christian music because he preferred trying to be a light in a dark place and I'm man, I feel like I need to apologize that my music could fall into a category that you don't want your kids to hear other songs from other artists that fall into the same category. But Bernie, you're you're a good guy for this too,

because you you you are a singer, songwriter, musician. Even though you're going to say you're not, you're you've moved on from that. But once you are, you always are sure. But you're just in a different you. You paid the bills with much different career now, so you could understand the sentiment. But it's it's not just a music. This falls in every career. Everything that you in, every career under the sun. You could do it to glorify God

or you could do it to glorify yourself. And how do you make that distinction, hm, with anything that you do? How do you so you are in construction do you me you you run a building company? How do you wake up and say we're going to remodel or build and we're going to do that to glorify God? Great question, important question. And I think that this can this can cross over into any faith and this is this really becomes a deeper question of like why do we believe

that we exist. I think that our culture can become very label oriented. We feel safe when things have labels. So it's like, oh, that's a Christian artist because it has that name. I understand these qualities about it. This is a country singer. I understand, you know, with those labels. This guy is a construction worker, this guy is a you know, a construction company. But I don't feel that's the way that we're created. I don't feel like that it's that black and white. I could be wrong, and

perception is reality. I've decided to live my life and encourage others to just always go back to God's word and what it says. And it's never going to say you need to call yourself a Christian artist or a Christian author or a country artist. It's really or if you're in construction, you only need to build churches and that's right. Or South America, or if you're a it's

it's really like the manifest state. What we do. Our work is a manifestation of what we're fashioned to do and what our hearts desire and what's coming out and as you know, as we experience life, and we experience tragedy, we experience heartache, we experience new places and new you know, theories of life, and those things can start to shift, they can start to broad and hopefully that's what happens, is they you know, they start to broaden, and we

see the world for something so much bigger than these tiny little boxes that we've put them in. And there's so much freedom in that. So, like my company, like our existential question, why do you exist? We exist to improve people's lives. And I feel like that actually lines up with God's word. Okay, so how do we behave?

We behave with humility, curiosity, diligence, and confidence. Those are those are not Bible verses, but those are so rooted in God's word, and that those weren't decided just overnight. Those were like many hours of thinking through, like, okay, what are these behaviors? If this is what we believe and we want people's trust, how do we how do we do what we say by these behaviors? I really think all of us spending more time really understanding what's

inside of us, what are we fashioned to do? And trust it? You know, if it, if you feel that, you know, God is pushing you to be a rapper in the secular world, which there are many, you know, Christian, very deep strong believers that are in that there is a reason and a lot of times we want to like make sense of it, of like, well, why is Granger doing this and this guy's doing this. It's like some things we don't get to know. We have to just trust that God is moving in them the same

way he's moving in us. We're all human trying to figure it out, trying to grow closer to Him. And the only thing that this person, you and I can do is just be still and think about ourselves. What is that inside of us? How is the word in our hearts? And then how does it come out based on the sphere that he's put us in, sphere of influence that he's put us in, and the skills that he's fashioned us to do. So good man, This is why I called Bernie when I need some advice stuff

like this. Yeah, I think that's awesome, Daniel. And we really focused on your subject line, your faith versus your career. And I feel like if you were listening to stuff with your kids and you're listening to my music and then you think of all the people that didn't have any kind of faith and they accidentally stumbled across something that meant something to him because they were listening to all the other artists. And my music, by no means

is holy. But you could easily listen to Christian music and then find out that guy was cheating on his wife and you go, wow, see yeah, I knew it. Yep, it's just all phony, you know, So you could you could throw that in any category. It doesn't matter. We're all human. And I mean, I think stripping away those those labels, like Bernie said, is it's so important. That's such a great way to put it. I think that God can use Like just the other day, man, like I was having one of those days at work. I

needed to go for a walk. I needed to just like kind of get out, and I put my headphones in and I put on country things. I don't you know, I don't know why, Like I just went to that song because there's there's something in the melody, there's something in the the lyrics, there's something that drew me to a place of like just exhale, and it was kind of what I needed. So what if that wasn't there. You know, I think that again, I think that our minds just are so small compared to like the ways

that God can use all of these efforts. That we're just trying to use the gifts that we have and put them out there. And the hope is is that if you are a believer, that you're taking that through the filter of His word your life, the propositional truth, the experiential truth, like the theeves are lining up, and then you just stay with it. Let it go. Man. There has to be someone out there that's been struggling with that with their own career. Those are great words, Burns,

and thank you for asking that, Daniel. That's awesome. Let me switch gears. This is a total switch and it says, Hey Grage, this is Becca from Bismarck, North Dakota. My whole family is big fans. My brother Bobby from Dismarck has been a lot of your concerts and done a lot of meat and greets. My question for you is this, My husband of two years recently discovered he had as

a sex addiction. Over those two years, there have been two major incidents of infidelity where other people have contacted me telling me what my husband has said to them. Every time I try to confront my husband, he lies until he knows he's been caught. Then he says this is his last time. He's going to do it. And just like any other type of addiction, there's a risk of relapsing. I'm twenty six years old and wanting to

start a family soon. If I stay with him through this addiction, I will have to give up having a family for a few years until we are both in a good place. If I walk away from this marriage, I will lose many more things than just having children for a few years. I need some guidance. I need some perspective on this topic. I love this man, but when is enough enough? Man? First, that is just really heavy to hear. Sorry, you're going through that, man, It's

really really sad something like that. I mean, I think I can speak for Granger and I both just to say, like, I don't know if we have an answer to any of these questions, and anything that we say is this is based on like what we know and have experienced to this date, and sometimes those things change as we evolve, and so well, we're gonna think here for a second, give it our best shot and just try to try

to guide you in the right path. Look at it as if you're calling a friend or inviting a friend over and we're sitting in your living room and we're just chatting, and when we leave, you do what you want. Yeah, yeah, for sure, it sounds like this may be above There may need to be some professional help if he's admitted

to having an addiction. Just having you know, people in you know, close to me that have been through you know, different addictions, there's there's a place where our encouragement and our in support of them just isn't the tools that they need. They really need professional help which is out there. And you know, alongside that, I think that there's there's something to be said for community and living in community.

I don't know if you are obviously you didn't mention it, but if you, if you are living in community with friends, close friends that that you have and that he has, just having his friends kind of speak in to his life and you know, hold him accountable, bring him support, encourage him to seek professional help. And then for you just not feeling like you have to carry the burden all by yourself. I really hope that you have of you know, somebody in your corner that uh, you know,

that's encouraging you and and guiding you correctly. Yeah, yeah, I'm back on Yeah, I'm sorry. You're twenty six years old. You want to start a family, which is normal. Everything you're saying is I agree with and you and you're it sounds like you're you're kind of coming at this the right way. You're You're definitely right and being majorly concerned.

You're definitely right in wanting to hold off on starting having kids because right down, the last thing you want to do is bring children into this, this turbulent environment. And and I probably I don't know if I would have gone a different direction until you ended it with I love this man to death. But when when is enough enough? If you hadn't said you love him to death,

you know this, this could be a little easier. And I also don't know about the ultimative that that you have given him and what he knows about you, Like, does he think that you're just someone that just you're just along for the ride. You're gonna you're gonna you love him, so you're gonna be there no matter what. I mean. The Bible does say that that you could divorce him. You're you're in. You're in the perfect order to say I'm out, I'm out. I definitely I admire

you for wanting to hold this together. I wish that this man had the same desire and conviction as you do to hold together at a marriage. And you're not perfect. I'm sure you've made mistakes, same as me. I'm sure you've I'm sure you you've done your share. But nothing that you've done warrants what has happened to you and what he has done to you and the promises that he's broken and regardless of addiction. You could talk about, you said, just like many other types of addiction. You

could throw that out there. But at the same time, it's this is about discipline and self control. He's not hooked on meth. You know, he's not chemically addicted to cocaine. It's different, right, I mean, it's different. I don't think we could just throw it in go. Yeah, he's got it. He has a problem. He's mentally addicted to sex. We all are at some level, we're human beings, like you know, we're like rabbits. At some level, we're like rabbits, and

we have to we have to control that. It's called discipline, self control, you know. So you know if I was with you, Beck, I would probably raise my voice and get upset, like I'm starting to get worked up because because it's just it's wrong what you're going through. I would hold off. Bernie said the exact right thing at the exact right time. We don't have an answer. I'm not going to have I'm not going to say here's what you do step one, step two. We don't have that.

I think seek professional help. It's going to cost money probably. I know that there's free counseling probably at your church, but if you want something else, it's going to cost money. I think that's a worthy investment to pay money for this. And then you tell him, Hey, we're going to do this. We're going to seek help from these different places from We're going to get counsel in our friends that we trust, in our family, We're going to get counseled at the church,

and then we're going to see a paid psychiatrist. And you're going to go to these meetings with me. And if you skip any meetings that could be detrimental if you wig out in any way in the course of this new plan to get better. Then we're gonna have to call this marriage off. And I don't want to. I love you to death. The last thing I want to do is have a divorce against us in my

in my life. I don't want that. But but I can't go on this way and he needs to say There's only one thing he could say, and that's absolutely tell me what to do, and I'll show up at every meeting and I'll work on this. That's the only way. Yeah. I think also, just knowing ahead of time that it's going to be really messy the path forward there is hope.

I've actually seen marriages restored from this, but it's going to be messy, and I would I would encourage you to make sure you're taking care of yourself and you know, really spending time in the stillness, in the quiet and listening to that small voice that will guide us. That you're surrounding yourself with people that can help you navigate this because you don't go at it alone. That would

be my biggest advice. You guys, can't go at it alone because others will be able to recognize if there is a genuine change in his heart that's happening or if it's not. And sometimes when we're in the moment, we can be deceived and think, oh, yeah, he said this and we're doing this. But I think just living that thing out and communities is probably, yeah, probably the best. So good beckuad. Thank you for being so extremely vulnerable and even including your name in your town and bringing

this to us. This has to be top of mind for you every day, and I just appreciate your trust and bringing it to a podcast, and it also shows your dedication to it. So that's the luck to you. Becca. I think we could be Can we hit one more on this segment? I'll switch gears again. I like to switch gears. Yeah, I like the subject line is called

the Calling. Okay, okay, it says, hey Granger, I often hear you and Amber, among many others throughout my life speak of having a calling to do something through Christ. I've belonged to a church since I was a little boy, and even then people stated they were called by Christ to do certain things. My question is, how do you know when you're called to do something? And I'm not even sure I've ever felt that I was called by Christ to do anything. Maybe I have maybe I never

heard it or I misunderstood it. I am hoping you could answer this question so that myself or someone who wonders the same could listen and then follow through with what they're called to do. I appreciate your doing your podcast and opening up to your fans and listeners. Best wishes, Sean from Pennsylvania. It's a great question. Great question, man, this is hard. I didn't say it's gonna be easy Burns. This is hard, man. I didn't say I didn't bring in here to answer. Why did I start? Where did

you I know that? I mean, this is like people's lives that I know they are, you know, really listening deeply to this, not even the people that put in the questions, but all your your fans and the people that listen to this, and the weight of that with questions that are just like Okay, yeah, I call it. I don't. I'm not really sure. I love the question too, Sean, Yeah, it's good. I don't know. Part of me thinks that I don't really know if you know a calling until

you're in the middle of it. I mean, here's I can only speak from my life, and I feel like a lot of time I have not seen it written in the clouds, go do this, And it's like, Okay, I'm gonna go do this. An angel spoke to you in your dreams, right, you know, I need to again Like I'm the biggest advocate of just stillness and listening, quiet and solitude. And I don't know if it's a calling as much as just this little nudge in one direction. And I think that God's word gives us, hey, this

is what you do. This is your calling, you know, to love your neighbor as yourself, to you know, to give yourself up in all things. Like there's these and I feel like if we're if that is as a believer, that's our calling and we live and that's our motivation. Then these career things and maybe this is tying back to the other questions, like I think they just kind

of happen, at least for me. It's just I was never intending to do what I'm doing now, and who knows what I'm going to be doing five years from now. I just feel like I've had kind of this core belief of you know, you know, following God's word, being still putting others first, loving my community, loving my church, and things just kind of happen, and there's kind of

a nudge of like, Okay, can we do that. I don't think we can do that, but I kind of feel that nudge, And so maybe that's the calling that he's talking about, that little nudge. And what he means is too, is that we see other people having examples of very specific written in the cloud stuff. My mom does that. You know, my mom just has She is so faithful. She just has big signs that just happened to her. And I kind of get jealous. I'm like, well,

I wish I could have a sign. Yeah, you know, I wish a bluebird would come out of the snow and look at me through the window and you know whatever. But man, this is what this is my challenge to you, Jean. You wrote this out to me. How do you know when you're called to do something? I'm not sure if I've ever felt called. Maybe I have, and maybe I didn't understand it. I would take that what you asked me and go to God with it every day, and you could be God knows your heart. You know, God

knows every thought. He knows your heart, So go to him and just go hey God, Sean and Sean, maybe you're not a man of prayer, or maybe you're wanting to be more, or maybe you are a lot. I don't know. But God, what are you calling me to do? Are you calling me to be right here and be in this today, in my career, in my life? Is this what you need me to do? If it is, continue to open those doors so that I could walk through them and I feel confident that I'm flowing with you.

And if it's not, throw an obstacle out there, make it more difficult, make me feel like I'm swimming upstream and nothing makes sense and everything is a closed door, and ask him that every day. God, have I missed it? Are you giving it to me? That's what the guys in the Old Testament did, That's what David would sit there every day and just conversation, this fellowship with God. Just God. I don't know. I'm confused. God knows you're confused.

He knows your thoughts, he knows your heart. God, did I miss it? He knows, He knows all these answers. And he's not going to boom from the clouds. He's not, but he could. He could definitely make phone calls happen and make illnesses happened or healed, or make I hate to say it, but he could make a car accident happen that gives you an injury that takes you into

another career. He can. But if you're aware of what's happening, feel the flowel the feel the I like to think of it as a stream, and you're Sometimes you feel like in life you're just going with the stream, like man, I'm just cruising, and sometimes it feels like you're swimming up it and nothing makes sense and everything's difficult, and every paddle will gets you back, you know, one step forward, two steps back, And I would I would do the same thing you asked me on this podcast and ask

God that and I would start my day with it. I would think of it when I'm driving, and I would end my day with it. If this is something that's truly on your heart, God, what am I? What are you calling me to do? Me, Sean from Pennsylvania, What do you need me to do? And the answer may be nothing right now, right, stay it put right? It may it may be something very different than what you're expecting. And again, I feel like our spiritual journeys

can be really counterculture. And so if we're if this is your heart and you're really I mean, you're sending emails to Granger, So obviously this is stirring in you. God may not be saying, Hey, your calling is to go build this wall. Yeah, but the calling maybe today, go pick up one brick and put it over there, and are we willing to be faithful to do that? And that's what I was saying, like, I don't know if you know what the calling is until you're halfway

up the wall. It's like God's building the wall. Yeah, right, And I've been putting these bricks here. I'm not knowing why for the last few years, and now I'm kind of getting a glimpse of it. And the crazy thing is in my life the time I get to the top of the wall, he's already kind of got me moved on. I don't have any there's no time to like boast on look at this calling. Look what I did. It's like, oh no, man, he's got me like chopping up this wood over here. I don't know why, but man,

karate kid wax on wax off. Yep, he just wax on wax off. And you're like, what am I doing? This still just feels ridiculous, and then one day, you know, karate and you beat Johnny in the championship. That's right, man, great question. Uh, I could we could probably talk about this for an hour, but it's so it's so good. Yeah, you could go ten years without hearing anything, and that could just be that's the brick by brick that Bernie's

talking about. Or you could literally get a phone call from your boss tomorrow and say I'm promoting you, and you go, okay, well there's in it. But but regardless, just ask him. Bring it to God. Yeah, bring it to him over and over and over with it. Yeah, that's what he wants. And his word tells us that his grace is sufficient. So if you never get to see a big wall, you never get a promotion. Man. I just feel like I rest all the time, and

the fact that his grace is all I need, that's sufficient. Dude. We got to end it with that. I love so much. Man. If you want Bernie comment here, bring Bernie back. I got a feeling it's gonna work all right. See you guys. Thanks for me on the Granger Smith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys, you could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.

If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie