All right, we've got a very special guest on today's podcast. When's the last time you were on December?
Because I think it was a year before.
Yeah, yeah, that's right, Yeah, that was the show spell It c.
Oh yeah, okay, yeah, we're on because your mom. Your mom was worried about COVID.
Uh vaccinations, things like that.
And what's the result of that.
She seems fine, she seems good. She has high blood pressure, she has to take medication, but other than that, she's good.
Okay, Amber Smith, my wife, I should say that for people listening.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I just agree.
That sounds familiar.
Yeah, yeah, well, welcome back. Uh, we've we've been changing. We had an episode that we released last week. We had the brothers, Tyler and Parker, and we've been changing the room around.
Then.
We weren't quite happy with how that one looked, so it was just very typical advancement and I so we move things around again and here we are. Now you're in this seat, which I think it's a good seat. Okay, good, there's reason, there's a specific reason why you're there instead of here. Okay, So we're going to be the main guest in your chair.
Okay.
It's interesting because if you look at the how long this this podcast is easily twice as much time went into the setup of the podcast today.
Yeah, easily. Yeah.
I told her Andrew, I'm gonna get here. I'm gonna get there a little bit early, and I'll walked in and he goes, wow, you you did mean early, like two hours before the podcast. Yeah.
If people knew how many times this room has been rearranged with different tables and chairs and couches, and.
They do, oh geez, yeah, oh g's people that have watched this podcast long enough.
Yeah, yeah, real ones know what it looked like in the very beginning. Yeah, after you. Speaking of channels, brand new channel launches July twenty first, I see launches. That's when. That's the only place you'll be able to get the video podcast. It's on the brand new Granger Smith podcas Past YouTube channel. It's linked in the description right here.
To go there, click that and hit subscribe. Everything you watch on the normal Granger Smith channel will be available there, but after episode three oh one, which will come out in July twenty first, that will only be on the brand new channel. Yeah, if you're listening everything stays the same for you. Everything stays the same exactly like it is right now. But if you watch, that'll be the place you need to go.
Yeah. Yeah, which is which is exciting. Did I tell you we're doing that?
No news to you all the time? You learn them on the podcast if you listen to the podcast, what's going on?
Right? Yeah, so we're doing that. And then the big news going on tour with the podcast, right.
Big big announcement last week taking the podcast on tour.
Did know that?
Yes?
You did? You did tell you that.
I'm excited about that.
Yeah, And it really it's kind of revolving around your book release October What to me?
Fourteenth?
Fourteenth? Is that date even released?
Not publicly? Is no?
Do I to bleep that out?
I don't know? Actually let me I'll let you know after this email, my email, my editor.
I don't know any edits.
And then may we release things. That's what we do on this podcast. We get new information.
Oh yeah, I knew a long time ago. I heard it on the podcast.
Yeah, we we did that with ee Fest released on the podcast. That's way before. And I'm going to say the title of your book it is, No, you're not shot.
We can't. They won't let me say it until I believe around mid July.
Really would mid July be the should we should be back on the podcast. The very first podcast on the new channel could be the release of the title of the book.
Yeah, we could do that.
Yeah, for sure. It's a good title. It's a good cover.
I left a hint somewhere recently, but I can't say where, and I can't say what.
Publishers just search search everything.
Yeah, it's a it's a great book. So I'm I'm very excited about this book because I get to kind of take a passenger seat to all of this. And you know, with like a river she was with me and you were doing the passenger seat thing. But so now I'll get to go, for instance, go to New York do the shows, and I'll take Lincoln to go see tourist things. That's what she did with London last time.
Because there might be like a thing that like a Fox and Friends that I'm needed for and then she'll go do all the other things podcasts and dateline and all that, and I won't be there. So we'll go see you know, the sites and get some good food in New York City. I've never gotten to do that.
Have you forgot? You've you've you've been on a late night show though, like you've been Kimmel.
Right, Yes, I've just anytime I go to LA or New York, it's usually wrapped around on the release of something, and everyone gets to kind of see things, and you have your work the whole time, and I work, you know, the main things and everything in between, and then I go back to a hotel and take a phone call. So I don't think. I don't know if I've ever been in New York and not.
Just as a tourist.
Really yeah, yeah, I've definitely never been a tourist, and so and I don't honestly, I don't know how much time I'll get, but I'm assuming that I'm going to get a kind of a sideline gig and take Lincoln And because he's never been.
Yeah, what's he want to do? What's he want to see?
He just really wants to Yeah, so you going to New Jersey? Yeah, London got to go twice. So he's like, you guys, haven't taken me one time? And then we said it in the car the other day and London was upset that she wasn't going to get to go this time.
Yeah, he'll want to go see like Yankee Stadium.
And oh yeah, yeah, the New York is really nice.
Yeah yeah, hell everything sports related.
You got to see an event, though, if you're going to msg true, like you know.
True, you can't. What are you supposed to see?
The outside is just yeah, a building around building. Yeah, it's weird because it's to me, at least, it's deceiving of how big it actually is on the inside just by looking at the outside. I mean, outside looks big, but you don't realize that there there's a like a ten thousand seat venue inside on the side of it. There's then obviously it's like twenty five thousand seat on
the inside of the main Madison Square garden. Crazy. Yeah, it's it's much bigger than it looks like it is on the outside, in the middle of round of buildings. Maybe that's part of it.
Yeah, so many giant buildings around there.
Yeah, so who Well, we'll go around and we'll see that stuff. But I'm really excited. I've just I've never really been the sidekick, so I can't wait to do that.
Take him to the mPire State Building and let him push every button in the elevation.
That's right, yeah, a little elf. Well all right, so you like the format of this, Yeah I do. Yeah. I did forget one thing and I realized right when we started. So I'm going to jump up and go got time, right, I didn't bring my Bible.
Oh do you mind.
I'll just go grat it. Okay, So you guys talk, okay, talk so about your book.
No, I'm just excited because I feel like you asked me when we came in it, does it feel like this time is crawling? Or does it feel like it's going fast? And I feel like it's crawling. Now. I'm just so ready to release it and tell everybody. And I've just been working on it so hard, and I've been meeting with other families who are going through grief and loss and I just want to hand it to them, and I don't have it to hand to them yet. So I'm just excited about that.
From day one, from the time you first started writing until right now, how long has that been?
I had four months to complete the manuscript, so I don't know how long that's been till now.
Did you have thoughts before that? You wrote down. Just keep notes.
Yeah, oh yeah, tons of notes. Yeah. That's what took me so long to edit, because I kept realizing I needed to add other things that I didn't add in there the first time.
Not that they're the same, but I'm performing the ceremony for my oldest daughter's getting married next May, so I already have notes that I found, scripture that I go, oh, I need that, Oh, I need that, and then at some point I'll go rearrange and put it together in a in a wedding format.
Oh gosh, it's happening, it's exciting. Should we say what you know? Kind of today? We're talking? Amen and I were target earlier. He was like, well, you know, what are we going to discuss? I was like, well, we
could talk about that. It's as we record this June the fifth, which is an interesting day for us because you know, we get a lot of text on June the fourth, and we get a lot of text on June the sixth, and and some people actually don't know the difference, like some people aren't quite sure or I can't remember.
Which day, and my eternal clock is the sixth.
Yeah, yeah, so that you're either the sixth or the fourth when when you're one of our friends. And then the fifth is a very an interesting day because this is the day we look back six years ago today. We hadn't slept last night. We were in the hospital. A doctor had come in and told us there's no activity.
Now was the first that was a shock when we heard that, because I guess this is all relevant to your book coming out, but because we thought he was going to be okay, but just going to be really sick. That's actually what the nurses told us and the EMTs told us. He's going to make it, but he's going to be it's going to be a long road to recover. Yeah.
We thought he would have some brain injuries and disabilities and learning things that we would have to work through, but we never thought that he would not open his eyes.
Yeah.
Yeah, And so today is that day, the day in the middle where we were just all of our families are in the hospital. There's bags and blankets everywhere, everybody's crying, everybody's praying. We're told we have to say our goodbyes. And then that's when the thought of organ donation came up. Was today, And then so we're doing all the paperwork for that, praying over that, crying over that, and then they're searching for recipients over the next twenty four hours.
Basically one of the reasons I want to have I think I've had the digital Bible for so long in the podcast, but I think, you know, especially with the recent passing of Phil Robertson, who always had a paper Bible, did.
The same thing I brought, like, I put it back in my bag, my paper Bible.
Yeah, by no means of my advocating, one is better than the other, because as long as you have the Word of God, let's not start talking about you know, because are we gonna say, do you have paprus or do you have a scroll or But anyway, that's why I think if I have this on the table it I might go to it quicker than pulling out my
phone anyway. And so yesterday when people were texting, a verse that was coming to my mind yesterday was some one to eighteen twenty four that says, this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. So that's that's what was coming to my mind. Because every that's every day, that's not a Friday. That's not a good day. That's not a day when everything seems to be okay, or the day where you actually feel peace or rest or hope, you
feel those human feelings. But it's every day. This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad. But guess what, Guess what. Verse twenty three says, let me look at let me go back to twenty two just to see. Well, yeah, twenty two. So what this is talking about is this is the eighteen twenty two is the famous verse that Jesus uses. It says the stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone, right, And then verse twenty three, this is
the Lord's doing. It is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Wow, that's today. That's today for us, that's today for whoever's listening. That is today, That was yesterday, that is tomorrow. As long as we're breathing oxygen in this fallen world, and we are not yet redeemed, we don't yet have our art or not redeem they're not yet glorified, and we don't yet have
our our glorified bodies. Then we know that we are redeemed because of this stone that the builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone in our lives and our foundation. And this is the Lord's doing, and that is marvelous in our eyes. And so therefore this is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be
glad in it. Through sorrows, through suffering, through loss, through cancer, through sickness, through through marriages, through through divorces, through babies being born and babies being lost, this is the day that the Lord has made. Let us be glad or rejoice in it. Not because of those circumstances, but because of the stone that the builders rejected. That the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous at her eyes.
So good. Yeah, when you said it was the day in the middle, I thought of Jesus too. There was a day in the middle when everybody thought hope was gone.
But but God, that's our tune. Fifth, it was really dark. So it's also the day that when I've told the story so many times and interviews and podcasts of this was the day when you and I went to that Surindy garden, you know, in the hospital, which which, by the way, you've been back many times. I went back one time, but You've been back many times to Children's Hospital.
I've walked out floor that we were in, the room, I've passed it, walked out in that garden many times. Yeah, and it gets a little easier. Like the first time, I started almost hyperventilating. You can smell everything, you know, the alcohol and everything that you just had. Those smells and the sounds and the beeps, and it's like everything comes rushing back to you. Yeah. Yeah, we went out in that garden.
That garden. Tell me the story about the the the orange tree, you.
Remember that, yes, which is no longer there. Yeah, but they had given us a little placard for river and they put it. We went and kind of walked the property and picked a spot and there was an orange tree there. And when we went there was all these
oranges in the little river. They were like floating down, and so we picked that spot and then I went back to look at it and I think it was like December or something sometime when that when that tree should not have had fruit and it was just full and maybe it was around that, I don't know when it was it was something significant. Either it was in the winter I should remember this, but or it was like on a special one of these special days of riv but it was some time where it shouldn't have
had fruit and it did. And so I don't think that tree is there anymore, though I need to go back. But his little plaque is still there in the ground.
It's kind of like when Jesus rebuked the fig tree for not having figs when it should have, and you saw an orange tree that did have fruit when it shouldn't have. Yes, Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, So that's our that's our six five, six five twenty five the day as we record this, And and honestly, I don't I don't feel that sting. I don't. I had lunch with a with a brother the other day.
I'm just finding a b.
That hasn't been closed. He's not close to our story. It's not close to me. It's not he's not in our church. And we had coffee and he goes. So is this time of year just really hard? I was like, what do you mean? He goes, you know, like first week of June? Is that just you just feel that weight coming up? And I was like, no, I don't. Actually, yeah, there's a certain way I feel every day. But but but I guess the first week of June opens, well,
it's still a beautiful time of year. It always has been. It's a beautiful time in Texas, and it opens up new conversations with people that text. I had some people text me yesterday on June fourth, the day we lost Riv, that we're choking up, and they were like, just thinking about you and Amber and just pray for you every day, and it's just today is so heavy for me and
I just can't imagine. And I just want to let you know, you know that with that day, that what it has meant to so many since then, and oh my brother, thank you, love you.
But we're good.
Yeah, today is the day that the Lord has made you know.
I understand what people are saying about it, but I get it that wait, you know, because for the first couple of years, your body keeps the score. Your body. I would remember, Mike, even though I didn't might not know the exact day, I could just feel it in my body like sadness, you know, over through June sixth. But now Psalm forty, which has been on my heart this week is. I waited patiently for the Lord. He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me
up from the pit of destruction. I'm gonna start crying out of the miriy bog and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. And so June fifth was really dark, and I did not have a song of praise in my mouth. But by going to him and reading his word and learning who he reveals himself to be, the god of all the day, all of our days, he will put
a new song in your mouth. And he has put a song in my mouth, a song of praise that, Yes, this is the day that the Lord has made. He knew when he formed river in my stomach what his day would be, and it was June fourth. And so when we come to know that and come to trust in the Lord, we can rejoice even on the really hard days.
Incomprehensible to those who have no hope what you.
Just read, Yeah, hey, look at the benefit of having to sit on the table. Like now we're all gonna start pulling at it absolutely. You know, a long time ago, Tyler and I started eeee apparel. It just came from originally just artist merch from Granger Smith from my artist days. And when EEE Apparel started, we built eee dot com, but we had no idea what to do with it, like how would we possibly sell a T shirt? I think the first one we had was I've got a
tough schedule Earl Dibbles Junior. It didn't take long before we realized we were in over our head and we needed a company to host this for us. That's when we turned to Shopify. Shopify is basically the checkout portion of your website and they handle all of that. They do the numbers that they have, all the algorithms that we don't understand, but they do. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and ten percent that's a pretty big number of all e commerce
in the US. You can get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready to use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store to match your brand's style. You could accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines,
and even enhance your product photography. It's pretty cool and best. Yeah, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise and everything from managing inventory, to international shipping, to processing returns and beyond. You don't have to worry about that stuff. You could just be creative in what you do and let Shopify handle everything else. If you are ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your one dollar per month trial period and start selling today at shopify
dot com slash granger. Go to shopify dot com slash granger once again shopify dot com slash granger. If you're trying to get a gift for someone that you think has everything, how about a special video message from me. It's easy to do. Go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith and you put in the prompt what you want me to say. I get that message on my phone. I'll say happy birthday, happy anniversary, whatever personalized message you want me to say to whoever you want me to
say it to. I send it to you and you give it to them. It's pretty cool. Go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith and I got to tell you all an incredible story, incredible story that has all you know it has to do with all of this. But I don't want to use his name. I probably shouldn't use this country either. But there was a there is a There was a man from a far away foreign country that's a fan of ye Ye Okay. And he is from a country where religion is dead. It
is one of the darkest corners of the world. To religion, not not just any not just Christianity, but any religion.
It is.
It is dark, and that darkness reflects in childbearing. There's kit the kids are non existent, that the the population is getting older anyway.
But it's it's also.
A very very beautiful country and very beautiful culture and very beautiful people. But this particular man, I'm going to protect his name in his country. He came to ye Fest and he speaks he speaks good English. But he said, I came. This is my second time to Texas, and I came the first time to Texas to Billy Bob's Oh Wow, And he said, you you told me. He said, I'm gonna I'm not going anywhere. I'm just gonna be on a different stage. My question is to you, ye
ye nation. Will you follow me to the next stage? And he said. I thought to myself, yes, I will follow you anywhere. Okay, And he said, but but now I see where you're the stage that you're on, that the ministry, this Christianity thing, and I'm interested and I want to know, but I don't. I don't really know. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, And so I took him into the Eye Farm, took him into the office. First.
I invited him. When he told me that, I invited him to come shadow me and be with me all day Thursday, which is the day we loaded in and sound checked. I said, just come with me, just sit with me. We'll have some good conversations. And I took him into the office of the Ye Farm and I shared the gospel with them, and I told him as practically as I could, everything that I was doing and what the Lord has done to me, and the most
practical way possible using the Bible. And you know, I told him what Jesus had done and how we had rebelled and we've been sinners, and we have we have turned our back on God as rebels. And God came into his own creation as the son, and Jesus lives the perfect life, fulfills the law perfectly in a way that we couldn't. Is obedient to the father, goes to the cross, dies and becomes a substitute that we is. He pays the penalty of our sin, like like someone
coming and paying paying all of our parking fines. He pays it so that the judge says, you're fine, is paid, You're free to go. You are free now. And Jesus did that and then rose on the third day, saying all who look to him turn from their sins will be saved. It explained all this, and he goes, I want this, That's what I want. I was like, okay, there's a cost to this, you know, like it's going to be very difficult. You can't I can't just tell you that you're gonna go back to your country and
everything's going to be better. It actually might be worse now. You're going back to a very dark country when it comes to this. And and he said, that's okay, I want this, And so in my mind I'm like, okay, that's that's amazing. But that doesn't just tell me you just made a decision for Christ and count your name in the Lamb's Book of Life, like I don't know, so it would. I don't want to give you a false assurance. So I said, okay, prove it to me.
Let's start Matthew one tomorrow. We got on signaled together. He said, I want you to read Matthew one and then message me thoughts, comments, whatever he does.
Questions done, yeah.
Questions, comments, observations done. So we started that and I said it every day, don't skip a day, do the next chapter every day. Matthew two, Matthew three, at you four, five six, he's he you know, he does his time in Texas, goes back to his home country, still reading, still on signal every day, doing this thing, doing this talking every day. I'm wrestling through things with him, and I just start watching him grow.
That's awesome.
It is crazy. So I've got the text thread up here now. But then he gets to Matthew twenty six and he starts and by the way, he came to Amaus with us. He didn't even worshiped us two times, he he So he says things like that Matthew twenty six, twenty four, Betraying Jesus would be the biggest sin I could imagine. So he's reading through and he says, this is interesting. He says in Matthew twenty six thirty three, he says, why Jesus said Peter would deny him three
times in his broken English? And then he says, Dash just found out how after reading verse sixty nine to seventy five. So he's like learning the story in real time. But then listen to this Matthew twenty six forty one quote, keep watching pray so that you do not give into temptation, for the spirit is willing, but the body is weak. And he says, that's what I need. All I need, all I can do. I am emotional for hate on my sin, and I'm eager to Jesus to save me,
save me from my sin. I don't want to do anything else, especially things that might disappoint God, who gave me great things. I think he's saved, he's saved.
He came in and Granger was getting ready to take a shower, and he came in. He's like, babe, I think he's converted.
I think he's converted. Amazing, and then he's one Matthew twenty seven today. This was today, and he's just he's he says, Matthew twenty seven, twenty one. So the governor asked again, which one, which one of these two do you want me to release to you? The crowd shouted back Barabbas, and he says, where is everyone, those who had sickness killed by Jesus? Where are they? He gets it, are they betraying Jesus as well? Yeah, it's amazing.
It is amazing to see how he's reading it like a story, like a book, and it is. It's the greatest story that there ever has been that we are a part of. But just seeing somebody read it like that versus our western culture.
Of how we kind of we don't know many people here who have never read that or no, that's right, parts of that story, or have been in, you know, a sermon. We're going through the Book of Matthew, and you get five verses or six verses, right, and they hear that one, they don't come for two more weeks, three more weeks, and then they come back and they get the next, you know, on down and they kind of piece it together. He's reading it through.
Yeah, last night he said the story. He said, I want to share something with you. I helped my coworker who was mentally struggling at work. I brought him words from the Bible and strength I equipped by Jesus Christ, our savior. Jesus showed his strength not just enough to help sinner like me, but also give strength to my neighbor. Oh my God, I can't thank Jesus enough for his words. And then he says, Granger, I believe God sent me to Texas twice to see the truth. And the truth is his love.
Dude, incredible.
And I'm just like, you know, I'm messaging him and so around the world. And so then tomorrow, which is today, we'll start He'll start Matthew twenty eight. Oh cool. And then I said, tomorrow we start Mark and we'll keep going.
And I'm just like, you're going to tell him that it starts over from a different person.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I love that, yeah, because we'll get in from a different perspective. And this is just so exciting to think, that's amazing of this man right now in a dark culture that's religiously dead, and he's in his apartment.
We were saying, it's like a never ending story where the little boy runs in, he hides and puts the cover over his head and opens it up and can't wait to see what happens next.
Yes, so who knows what the Lord is going to do? Full circle here because of River, because of the Lord's work through River. On June fourth, twenty nineteen, who knows what is now starting in this country of darkness? The light has arrived.
That's awesome. That's so cool. Yeah, that's so cool.
I don't know you might maybe it was listening right now, But I love your body. I love you man.
Yeah, my Betty is Yeah, I know he.
Is going to do some emails. Yeah.
First one's from anonymous, dear granger. I started watching a Rise with Amber after my husband's alcoholism was confirmed, and I was searching for healing through alanon a similar and similar support. I'm grateful to share that my husband has now been sober for three years, but the journey hasn't been easy for either of us. I also struggled with postpartum depression and a traumatic birth. In your book resonated
with me deeply. It was comforting to finally feel understood, especially after a time when I felt abandoned by God and even faced the thoughts of ending my life. Right now, I'm struggling with how to balance loving and supporting my husband without enabling him. I feel overwhelmed by household responsibilities, and I get frustrated when he relaxes while I manage
everything else. Antimis, he has also been hard to rebuild, as most of it before was when he was drunk, and I still wrestle with a feeling like my emotional needs aren't being met. We attend a wonderful church and are both raised in the faith, but sometimes I'm unsure of where my husband stands spiritually, especially since he's more private about his faith and gets annoyed when I try to have deeper, deeper conversations. I just want to know
that his heart is in a good place. If you share this on the podcast, please keep my name in church Anonymous. Thank you for the encouragement you and Amber provide. Your willingness to share how God God brings good through pain has meant so much to me. So really, the question here was you know, how to.
You know?
I guess connect with her husband and find out where he is spiritually. I guess with just without asking.
You know, yeah, and most likely he's not converted. It's kind of what we talked about with the on the Brother podcast last week. Yeah, we and and that's the difference in talking to a guy from a foreign country is it's so black and white that you it's easier to see. But in America, we have we have hints of godliness, we have hints of Christianity, you know, we we wear crosses around our neck and we say biblical things.
And and then we start thinking, like she said, you're raised in the Christian home, you just start thinking you inherited it. And I'm I'm of the thinking that if he's not converted, and let me see, let me say it again, If he is, then he has been discipled so poorly that nothing is there's no fruit from it, and that's dangerous in itself. So I tend to think that he's not converted. Otherwise, like Paul Washer says, if you if I came in here and said, sorry, guys'm
a little bit late. A macchruck hit me out in the in the road outside, but I made it, you'd be like, I don't believe you. If you encountered a big truck on the highway that hits you, you would be impacted by that in a way that everyone around you knows it. And if you come into contact with a holy god that has given you a new heart and changed your desires, then everyone around you knows something's
different with this guy. I don't think anybody would look at me in twenty fifteen and then look at me now and go it seems like the same. He's the same, does the same thing, says the same things, likes the same things. That's not true. So that's what I think about this this He thoughts, Yeah.
She was just saying she's struggling with how to balance loving and supporting him without enabling him. That she feels overwhelmed by household responsibilities and gets frustrated when he relaxes while she manages everything. And I think that's a very natural feeling to feel overwhelmed. I don't know, does she say they have kids as a mom or handling all the all the the head.
Okay, that's only only information about children.
I think for that A lot of that, at least for me, is shifting my thoughts on that to where I don't sit in frustration, which I do a lot because I'm human and I sin, but shifting it to where I get to do these things for my kids and or my and my husband, and praying through those things while I'm folding laundry or while I'm doing dishes and the and realizing our role that God has given us as women in the home is to be the helper, is to submit and surrender and support and love and
care for and nurture and take care of the home. And that's that's something I've had to learn and I'm still I'm still growing through that and feeling conviction through that, but praying through that as well, because that's a that's an honor to be able to do for the Lord into instead of just always seeing that I'm serving my husband, I'm serving my children, but I'm ultimately serving God. And so if I can shift my perspective that way, it helps me to be frustrated. It helps me to do
things with joy. Not to say that we don't get overwhelmed, because I do, and I get frustrated and askedin and I ask for forgiveness, but also communication. I've learned with Grainger, Granger doesn't know what I need if I don't ask him. So if I'm just frustrated doing all the things and rage cleaning, he doesn't know, So just maybe try to have a conversation with your husband and say, Hey, I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Can you please help me with this?
A simple conversation could help a lot of bitterness. And Yeah, I think that would help a little bit.
It's great. Sarah is the next email. Hey Granger, I'm sixteen. I'm looking for some advice. I've been dating my boyfriend for about eight months and he has a close He has a close female friend who's also part of our friend group. We're both Christians. He's newer to the faith and I've been a Christian my whole life. I've known his friend for about two years, though we're not super close. She played a big part in helping him come to faith, which I'm really thankful for. But now that we're dating,
I feel like their relationship ship needs to change. Sometimes it feels like he crosses the line between friendship and something more, even if he doesn't see it that way. I don't want them to stop being friends, but also think he needs to realize that while God used her to help him, she's not the one who saved him. I've talked to my best friend about it and receives and receive some helpful biblical advice. But I'd really appreciate
your perspective to thank you for what you do. Your music and podcast have been a blessing and seeing you preach live was amazing. God bless.
Because so if this was live and we're in the theater somewhere, it's boyfriend, right, So yeah, i'd say, how long does it say? Eight months?
And they're sixteen?
And they're sixteen, Yeah, I mean like this is this is uh, it's very real to them. This is not what is not what she wants to hear. But hey, you got to, like, you gotta let go of this guy. He is not your husband.
Yeah, you know, yep, I agree with that. And I mean it sounds like that he's yeah, we're boyfriend and girlfriend, but I like these other girls.
Yeah, there's fringes of jealousy all through.
That for shure, And you've said all the time, men and women, boys and girls can't just be friends. There's always one of them probably has feelings for the other in some sort of capacity.
Yeah, yeah, sixteen, just be friends. All of you be friends. Take the relationships out of it.
This is why. And see if you had This is why as parents, especially dads, it's like, you're not dating till you're twenty. No, you're just friends with people, yeah, or thirty five friends. Thirty five will come down, you know.
With London, I've lately I've been saying I've been saying eighteen because I'm kind of thinking about when you're out of the house. You know. It's because she'll say things like could I get another piercing? And I say absolutely, when you're eighteen, when you're not here, when you don't live here. And I took a walk with her the
other day. It's like, you know why I keep saying when you're eighteen or when you don't live here, because my job until until you're on your own is to protect you from things that you might regret later because your brain isn't fully developed. And I don't want to stand in front of you when you're thirty and you go, Dad, why in the world did you let me do this? Why did you let me get this tattoo? Why did you let me get this piercing? Why did you let me date that guy? Why did you let me go
to this party? I don't want to meet that London yep, And be a coward in front of her and go because I was weak. I don't want to do that, so I would rather be strong and say you cannot. But when you are old, when you're old enough to make your own decisions, if you want to get a tattoo or a double piercing, whatever, if you want to date a weirdo when you're twenty five, I cannot stop you. I don't want you to. I wouldn't encourage you to, and I would. I would give you all the best
I can to tell you not to. But I can't make you. But I can now I say no, not yet. And so so yeah, at sixteen, this dating thing, she's got to let him go. She has to let him go.
Way too young to be that serious. That's for sure. Time for one more, Yeah, serenity, says high Granger. Since I was three, my mom's sister and I have gone to church, but my dad never joined us. He struggled with alcoholism and was more abusive toward me than anyone else in our family, which caused me to hate myself
from a young age. When I was eleven, something happened that made me decide to cut him out of my life and When my parents divorced a year later, I felt relief, but it also gave me space to think about everything. I'm known for being forgiving and rarely hold grudges. On a mission trip, we were encouraged to forgive those who have hurt us, but I just can't seem to forgive my dad no matter how much I pray or try. It makes me feel guilty and like I'm failing as
a Christian. Thank you for your podcast. It means a lot to me, Sincerely, Simenity.
Oh, the old forgiveness question.
That's hard, especially being that young and not feeling like you were protected or having this vision or expectation of how you believe an earthly father should treat you, and I kind of I know what that feels like, and feeling that they let you down, but knowing that you have a heavenly father who does not, even when we fail as humans and forgiveness, I've learned that obviously we are called to forgive because Jesus has forgiven us much,
and so it doesn't make it easy. And that doesn't mean that you have to reconcile with your father, but you can release that burden and say I forgive him. I'm still you know, it hurts and I wish it would didn't happen this way, but I'm going to let this go. I'm going to forgive him. But that doesn't
mean that you have to build that relationship back. Sometimes you think people think if you say I forgive you, it means you have to go right back to the way it was and you're going to have this perfect father daughter relationship. And that's yeah, and that's just not always the case. You have to build that trust over time, and sometimes that might not be reconciled ever, but you can release that. You have to let go of that
so you don't have that bitterness. And there's that saying about drinking poison something if it's like, if you don't forgive, you're drinking poison expecting the other person to die. You can forgive in your heart, but you don't have to mend that relationship. And you might want to mend that as you get older, but that takes two parties, repenting, turning away, and reconciling together. That takes two open hearts to do that.
Yeah, I think that's good. The forgiveness is not equal trust, you know, so you forgive and That doesn't mean you have to agree or trust, but you do have to forgive. And really, as far as the Bible goes, when it comes to forgiveness, we're commanded to forgive because we have a savior at the pinnacle of our faith that is hanging on a cross saying, Father, forgive them. They know not what they do to the very men that have put him there. Yeah, that that is. That does not
make it easy. But when we look to that ass as the pinnacle of why we are to forgive, then we see that it's a heart position. It's a it's a heart turn not and not an action that says, now we continue on the path of trust. Now you don't you don't have to trust someone to forgive them. Yeah, I don't. I don't think Jesus would have said, now, I trust you that you're not going to kill me. Right.
It's a daily choice, like you don't. You can't just forgive your dad today and be like I'm great. It's going to take every day for you to say, no, I have to forgive him. I'm going to forgive him every day. And it seems a little easier for me now if I know that they if these people are whoever we're going to forgive, aren't Christians and aren't converted because they don't know how to be any other way. They're they're just sinful and they haven't had they haven't
had a changed heart. So I feel like it's a little easier to forgive in that sense because they know not what they do.
Forgiveness. It's great if it if it turns into reconciliation, and reconciliation is great if it turns into restoration. But neither one of those steps are guaranteed. Forgiveness doesn't always equal or doesn't always lead to reconciliation, and reconciliation doesn't always lead to restoration.
So some people feel like it has to be a package deal.
That's right. That's that's where people run into big time problems. I have people that say to me, there's a friend of mine I grew up with, and he's like, I struggle my wife and I struggle with forgiveness because I've asked her, why can't you forgive me?
Yeah?
And she just ca it and and and I'm thinking that's because you're you guys are confusing reconciliation and you want restoration, and she's confusing forgiveness with reconciliation and all of this, that none of those things are guaranteed.
Yeah. Three three very separate and to be dealt with on their own. Forgiveness on its own by itself, and a silo. Yeah, and and so forth.
Yeah, it flows forward. Those three things flow into each other. Yeah, but they're they're not guaranteed to no matter what you do. Yeah.
I think the the the reconcilient, would you say, reconciliation and rest restoration. Yeah, they can't be touched until the forgiveness. Yes, like, if you haven't done the forgiveness, those other two aren't gonna matter because they're you're never going to get to them. But just because you're forgiven doesn't mean that there's the other two are automatically checked. Boxes are checked.
Yeah. And so it's like a daughter looking at a bad father, Yeah, saying the daughter says, I forgive you, and the father says, then let's reconcile. No, no, no, that's not that's that doesn't I don't want to go there. It wouldn't be right for me to go there. But forgiveness is what is required. Jesus doesn't say you must reconcile with your neighbor. You must reconcile with your evil neighbor, right, I don't say that.
And I also don't think that we can truly forgive somebody unless we truly know Jesus, unless we truly know what we have been forgiven for, like truly know it. It's really hard to forgive if you don't know the forgiveness in Christ. It's not human and natural to be able to do that.
You're not a right headspace for forgiveness without Christ. You can't comprehend true forgiveness without him.
Yeah, I think you can't. You can forgive, just like you can have joy. People without Christ can have joy. But that's because we're made in the image of God, and so we mimic life, because of our DNA, because of our nature. We mimic life. But what's so kind of corpse? You know?
One, it's not lasting, It goes until the next bad situation. You don't have joy from the inside out, which is circumstantial.
That's right, that's it. That's all we emails.
We got to do great. Yeah, you guys are great. See you next week. Thank you so much for hanging out with me on this episode of the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate you being here. If you're listening right now, go ahead and rate today's podcast. It helps more folks find the show. And if you're tuning in on the iHeartRadio app, you could actually set this podcast as one of your presets, which is cool that way. I'm just
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