The #1 question I'm always asked

don't understand why. I'll tell you why I thank you. Besides the fact that you're just an awesome dude. I think people latch on to when you're a guest on this show. I think people latch onto it because they could tell that me and you have a long history of friendship and trust. And after we roll that the audio and the camera here in this room, we end up forgetting that it's even on and we're just talking.

I say this all the time, like we're just sitting around a campfire, cracked a few beers and there's a third person in a third chair, which is this email. I read the question and me and you talk through it. Like we're three friends, right, it's hard. Cool. That sounds awesome, but it's hard to do unless you actually have a twenty year friendship like me and you do. I think that's why they love you. Yeah, So, if anyone out there has a question, you email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail

dot com. I collect these daily. I kind of put them into different categories depending on your question, but it could literally be about anything. Me and Bernie have answered just about every kind of question you could ask, whether it's lighthearted or career based or anything. Throw us something difficulty because these have been pretty easy so far. I'm just kidding, Okay, accept that that was the joke. They

have not been easy. They're never easy. And as I always say, you know, whenever I get to come on here with Griz, like we're just giving our perspective and our experience on some of the things that we're hearing. But we always are going to push you to surround yourself with the community that you can process these things with and always go back to God's word because it'll never it'll never fail you will never lead you astray.

So those two things, God's Word, community, and then you know, hopefully something we can say will kind of encourage you

or inspire you to push into those things a little more. So. It's really heavy responsibility, but also so fulfilling for us knowing that right now, at the beginning of a new podcast, it's Monday morning, somebody's listening right now somewhere that either hasn't heard this or maybe they've heard a few times, and they have a question and right now, you know, they they listen to something through here and they pull out their phone and they start a new email Granger

Smith podcast at gmail dot com. Hey Granger, I have a question, and there it is. And that's a massive responsibility that I don't look at as a burden. I look at it as a huge privilegeutely to be able to share in your question that you've been stewing over for maybe years, and to know that right now today in this room, as we hit record on this podcast,

a new one is being born. That's so cool. Yeah, And that one day we will have a live podcast boom with live audience boom and get to have them sit in the chair with us boom and you know, chop these things up. That would be really fun. Yeah, it would be so much easier too. Because we could ask second and third questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well let's start with an easy one. Here is this, says Hey Granger. I'm Kevin from far Northern California AKAA, state of Jefferson.

It's funny that he has to say far northern because he's trying to separate him. So I get I get what you're doing there. We know who you are. I love California, man. I love you guys, especially the group of California that is the silent majority. I feel you, I hear you. I love you guys. He says, what is the ring you wear on your right hand during your podcast? Thank you? We' wearing right now? Yeah, this is an Aggie ring. This is Texas A and M, where I went to school. For some reason, it's an

over one hundred year old tradition. We just like our class rings at Texas A and M. It kind of becomes a statement after you get out of school and you enter the real world. You could spot it far off. If you're an agg you could spot. Even if you're not anag you could go, oh, what class are you? So it's kind of like a cult, right, Yeah, don't you have to earn the ring, like not just graduate, but you have to like dunk the ring. Yeah, can

we talk about it. You have to dunk it. So you earn your ring at tex A and M through I believe it's ninety hours of class credit and then you have to You don't have to, but most everyone does what they call a ring dunk, where you take your ring and you you go most likely to a place called the Dixie Chicken, which is a bar and college station, and you get a picture of beer, hopefully light beer, and you drop your ring in the bottom of the picture and you have to chug the picture

until you get to the ring at the bottom and everyone times you. Who yeah, I don't remember my time. I don't remember. It was a long time ago. Is the point to just get to the bottom and then you got your ring and you earned it? Kind of okay, right word? But it's like, did they do they put like the best times up on the wall that yeah, they do that kind of stuff, and most of the time people throw up Okay the girls I did. I did not. I wasn't trying to break a world record though, either.

Did you write your name and your time on the way, I didn't do that. You didn't, okay, but a lot of people do, a lot of people take it more serious than me. But it is a funny. A and M has their awesome traditions much like that. But you got you got you guys definitely. Uh, y'all get some traditions going and you don't let them go, you like hold fast to them. Do you have a piece of jewelry that you wear consistently over the years, just my wedding ring, your wedding ring? You wear a still a

metal wedding ring too? I do. Yeah. Most people have gone to the rubber ones like I have. Yeah, I'm shocked that I haven't lost this one as much kind of adventuring as we've done. I'm not a big like I'm pretty active, and I know a lot of active folks do that, but I don't. I haven't found myself doing I don't like throw around a lot of big weights. So I know a lot of guys that do that get the ververs cause it starts to hurt. But yeah, I still have this one that my wife gave me

sixteen years ago. What is that made out of? I think it's just sterling silver and says the one I adore on the inside. Still got the original. That's so cool. So my story is my original wedding ring we got. I cannot remember the metal, but it was cheaper than silver. It wasn't platinum, but it was another one of those kinds of high end that's cheaper than gold and silver.

And I remember thinking it was so cool. And one day I was washing my hands and I took my hands out of the sink and it slipped off my finger and it hit the floor. It hit the tile, and it disintegrated. It just blew into a thousand pieces. And apparently that metal is like so hard and so indestructible except on tile. Whatever that means. Somebody listening knows what I mean. And I can't explain why, but something about when it makes contact with a tile floor, it

will destroy it. So then I got a James Avery silver ring after that and lost it because I'm an idiot, and it happens, and then I luckily, and luckily, Amber has been so cool about the three rings that I've had, and she doesn't worry about it. So now I wear this rubber one, which I do not care. In fact, I had one a couple weeks ago that got a little in it and just put another one on. So it doesn't mean anything to me, but it still symbolizes, yeah,

that I'm married to Amber. Have you guys considered doing the ring tattoos. We haven't considered it, but I wouldn't not. Yeah. So Leslie and I just celebrated our sixteen year anniversary and I was like, we had some plans that day that didn't include it raining, and it rained all day so we kind of had some free time. I was like, babe, let's just go get tattoos if you know her, like she is not in so like just going to get tattoos on a whim. But she was like, yeah, we

can get you know, the ring tattoos. And I was like, for real. She was like, I don't know, you know, like kind of backed up on it, but I don't know. I know that's the same people to right, huh, Okay, it could be cool. Yeah, I know a lot of people do it and then they don't even wear a ring because it's just tattooed on them. Yeah, some people are weird. They fill claustrophobic with rings. Yeah, so I get it. Yeah, Like I'm just I actually when my dad passed away. I kept his wedding ring and it

fits me. So if I'm doing, like, if I'm dressing up, you wear that one. It's gold and I put that on nice, so I don't have to wear a rubber one with if the rare occasion is that I actually have to dress up, Yeah, that's cool. So here's here's another one. This is let me see how about this one. I'm still taking. I'm kind of ramping this up. Says Hey, Granger.

My name is Grace, I'm fourteen. A couple of weeks ago I had a birthday and you and never did a cameo video, So thank you so much for that awesome, great cool. I love cameo. It says. We watch this Smiths all the time in my house, my sister Emmy and my mom Crystal, and I love your music. Thank you guys, he said, your music. She said, your music has been one of the many things that's impact in my life. I was inspired to start learning to play

the guitar and try to pursue a music career. What are some what's some advice you could give to someone very very early on in their music journey. And that's a great question. Me and you've had this kind of question before, And fourteen is actually the age that I started playing guitar, So Grace, you're right on que with me. So I would start with this, I would start getting better, better at that guitar, which only takes practice. Don't only

read chord charts and music tabs. Don't just do that at some point early on and you're learning, break away from the tabs and just start what we'd say just jamming. Just start using three or four chords that you know from other songs and mix them up and put them in different orders and different rhythms, and strum around on and pick around on it. And when you start doing that, you're then not emulating your creating and I think you learn faster through the creative part of guitar. And then

really say that you're a singer. But then you could start singing along with songs on the radio while you're playing. You're going to grow so fast and in your knowledge of music when you start this consistently every day. And then the third step I would say is start recording yourself. You don't have to get anything expensive. You could use your phone or any kind of digital recording, which almost Every cell phone has an app for that, and you just hit record, play a song, sing it, and then

listen to it over and over. Find the spots that you like what you do, find the spots that you don't like what you do, and you'll grow quickly with that. What do you say, Burns, Yeah, No, I think that's good. You gotta hone your craft. You gotta like push into it. Practice. It's gonna be hard, but push into it get really good.

I think also I started. I remember I started playing on I start playing on a classical guitar, but then I went to an acoustic guitar that was called an arbor Is by a company called Arbor, which I think is like maybe one of the cheapest guitars you can get, at least the one that I had was. Man, I remember in Nashville picking up your black Takamini. You remember that guitar, and you I actually sold it at one

time when I needed money. I remember picking that guitar up in Nashville and playing it and being like, man, this, I'm so much better on this guitar than I have on mind. So I think there's a certain point where you don't want to go out and just blow a bunch of money on a guitar that's way above what you need. But make sure you got the right instrument that fits you. Because I was playing this guitar and

like the guitar just wasn't what I needed. I picked up a guitar that was just a step better and realized like, wow, this actually sounds better, which made me want to play more. So I sold that other guitar and got a newer one. So I would just suggest that too. Yeah, when that time's right. It's kind of like voggers when you're getting into vlogging or making videos. At the right time, you got to get a better camera, but at the beginning it's good to have the cheap one.

Same with guitars, so you'll know when the right time is. Yep, there's a question with the title called A Question for You and Bernie. Okay, good, good opportunity. Here says Hey Granger. My name is Lily. I'm from a small town just north of Tampa, Florida. I've written to the podcast before, but this question is different. I have a friend that's

always starts an argument no matter what I say. She claims that I always put the blame on her, and I always it always gets heated about the little things, which is one hundred percent wrong. I never put the blame on her for anything. I have called her out on things and when she's made me mad or frustrated, but calling someone out for something that hurts you and putting the blame on someone for that are completely different things. I told her about that. I also don't get mad

about the lit things. Every time I tell myself that I'm not going to be involved as I was, I end up right back where I started. I feel like I should step back and just not engage. What do you do if you're in my situation? Well, that's a tough one that I asked for for sure, because yeah, relationships are so complicated. And again, without having you in the third chair and be able to ask you some

follow up questions, how old is she? If she doesn't say, Lily, I guarantee you everyone listening is going through this at some level. And it's so much easier for me, Lily, to read your question and help you through it that it is for me when I'm in it giving myself advice that probably works for anything in life. It's easier for me to sit here, and I'll straight up tell you I see problem. I see some big problems in your email. Don't get mad at me and anyone that emails.

I'm just going to tell you as if we're sitting around a campfire. I'm gonna tell you straight up, and there's some there's some big problems. I know you see them too. It says she claims. You're basically saying we have an argument, and typically she starts it, and she puts the blame on you. And then you turn around in this email and say, which is one hundred percent wrong? One hundred percent She's one hundred percent wrong, that's what

you're saying. And that's just impossible. There's always a little truth to everything. So in order for this to get better, that has to change. Right off the bat, you say, I never put the blame on her for anything, and yet you're blaming her in this email to me and Bernie, Yeah, right, yeah, and using words like never and always yes. What are those called explore to explotives? In Star Wars they say a what do they say A Jedi never speaks in expletives? Right?

Because there's always a chance of something else. Sorry, Star Wars reference. So from reading and you, I'm so glad you asked us, and I'm thankful that you're trusting us with something that's really bothering you. And it is clear that you're going to have to give some on this because you're holding your ground, you get your heels in the dirt. You're not giving any ground back to her, and that is clearly not working. You're saying, I feel like I should just step back and not engage, which

I don't really think that that's necessary. You guys are you guys are good friends, so you do want to engage, But I think I think you gotta you got to step back and while you're engaging, step back during the engagement and just say what if you ever would say? And there's nothing specific in here, but she claims that I always put the blame on her. What if you just step back and say, I'm so sorry for putting the blame on you. What if you said that even

if you don't necessarily believe it. What if that's what came out of your mouth instead of I don't ever put the blame on you know you're wrong, You're one hundred percent wrong. I don't put the blame on you for anything. You call me out on these things. And look what if you just said, I'm so sorry. I want to work on this with you, because you're you mean so much to me as a friend that I truly want to work on getting better at blaming me

for things. Now, what happened. What's happening here in this conversation is you are hurting your pride because your pride says I'm right, I don't blame you for anything. And so to step back and say, I'm so sorry, I want to work on putting blame on you. You're crushing your own pride inside. But that's okay, it's not a bad thing. This is what saves relationships, is putting your own pride aside that happens with anything. That's what separates us from humans from dogs. Yep, I look at my dogs.

I have three dogs. They're all three great, loving creatures. But when I feed them, Remy, the male, will steal the food of the females every time. He'll steal their food when they're not looking, or he'll push them out of the way and he'll eat the food. And sometimes I look at him and I'm like, Amber, look, this is what separates us as humans. It's like he's the sweetest dog, but he has nothing in his brain that says share that's their food, that's not yours. His nut.

But we as humans, we do see that, and we sometimes have to crush our pride a little bit. Yeah, I know something else I want to go with, but I want to let you speak, Yeah, Lily, to tell you the truth. I'm a bit kind of mentally lost in some of my own relationship situations very similar to this, And I'm guessing that there's people out there that have not just relatively similar, but very very specifically similar situations

to what you're dealing with now. And man, relationships are just so so tough to navigate, especially when you get deep, when you intend to love someone in a deep way. And we also have to fight our own flesh that's broken and has been hurt and has a tendency not to trust, and all the things in First Corinthians thirteen that it talks about what love is. I challenge you to go back. I did this, so what I'm going through personally took me back through First Corinthians thirteen and

just read the list of everything that love is. It's kind it's patient. It doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it's not irritable or resentful, it does not insist in its own way. I mean, there's just so many of you get the love as patient. Love is kind. You've heard that. But when you get into the middle part of that passage, like, there's no way that you don't go back to your friend and say, so, I have not loved you the way that I should have, the way that I'm called

to love you. I have not done that. That's where your email is showing and where I too, am guilty of showing air arrogance. But it says love is not arrogant like and so like we have to humble ourselves and just go there's no butt. Well, I'm sorry, but you start this or you it's like, no, hey, that's not your responsibility. What you're responsible for. What I'm responsible for.

And the only thing I can control is the way that I place myself in a servant role of love towards the people that God has put in my path. And whether that's a shallow or deep relationship. Man, it is the hardest thing to navigate because, like Chris said, we are fighting these you know, constantly fighting these things within us. But I think that that is what I'm

struggling with and what I'm going through and trying to navigate. Okay, at what point, and maybe Gris is a follow up question for you, you know on behalf of Lily is like, at what point? So I now gone through this? I have gone to this person humbly. They have said something I've done against them. I've I've like asked for forgiveness. I've said, man, I'm sorry, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try to serve you and love you. I'm sorry I haven't loved you the way I'm called to, and I

do love you. I want you to trust me. And yet again they they come back that I have, you know, like just they're carrying these things and they come back with these accusations, And at what point is it like, this isn't really about me, this is about you. How do I love and serve that person? Right? So let's try to do an experiment we haven't done on the podcast before. Let's try to hack this out for Lily. You you're gonna You're gonna tell me Burns, You're gonna

be the friend. And I'm gonna be Lily. I'm gonna be what I think Lily should try. As an experiment, You're gonna tell me just say, man, are you losing weight? That shirt looks you look really you look like you're getting smaller, which would actually be because I try to work out and I try to eat right, So that would actually be something that would offend me to say that. Hey, like we just saw each other, Okay, here we go, Hey, Gris, are you losing weight? Man? Your shirt's a little thin,

and like, no, I'm the same weight. What if I said this? You know, to be honest with you, man, and this is not your fault. This is totally not your fault. You're making an observation. But I've been struggling lately with with you know, working out and trying to eat right, and people have been saying that I look like I'm losing weight, and it actually bothers me. Once again, I'm not blaming you because you're just making an observation and you're You're just that kind of person that says

what they think and I love that about you. Well, Grangeer, I wasn't trying to be rude, like I feel like you're starting something here, and I really was just trying to say that you look No, absolutely not. That's actually what I love about you and the reason we're really good friends. I love the fact that you could just call it like you see it, and that's why you're that's why you have so many friends, that's why you do good in life. And this that's totally on me.

I just I'm feeling a little insecure about looking small. So when you said that, it kind of hurt me. But I know that you didn't mean to you see, kind of like I'm putting it back behind me in the situation for Lily, and I'm not. I'm not saying, well, that's rude. That really hurts my feelings. Bernie. Yeah, because then of course you're going to get defensive. Yeah. No, you just blame me for stuff to Yeah, I think

that was great. So he like not only did he like take the place to a humble and vulnerable state of something. Hey, this is this is how because most of the time, the way the way that we respond is really about us, it's not about the other person. So the way that you responded was in a humble, vulnerable way about something about you. The way that I then responded about, well, you're just getting defensive and you're

coming at me. That actually says something about where my heart is in responding that way to somebody that's being vulnerable and being humble. But I think, Lily, I think you follow that lead and regardless of what this person your friend does, because you can't control that, even if they do it for like fifteen minutes, which can be trying for sure, keeping that kind of like, hey, this

is not about you, it really isn't. I'm struggling with this, and you like affirmed me in that it's hard to like continue to be defensive when someone is being vulnerable and humble and affirming and complimenting you. So yeah, and see good, try that, Try that, liad. We're gonna take a break through right back. This podcast is brought to

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a daily commitment to their health every single day. Again, visit Athleticgreens dot com slash granger and get your free year supply of Vitamin D and five free travel packs today. They are awesome. I want to tell you before we get back into the podcast with Bernie, I messed up a little bit. I messed up, so long story short, the audio my computer I record audio. This microphone goes out, so you're just gonna hear the camera audio just for

a short time. Okay, just one question and it's a good question, so I wanted to keep it on the podcast, So you're gonna want to listen to this one question. The audio is gonna sound a little bit different, and then after the question, it's going to go back to when I figured out I had a problem. We're gonna go back to normal audio. So hang with me. I promise it. It's not that bad. You'll make it. But it's worth me keeping the question. It's about dads. Back

to the podcast. So coming out of the break, we started talking and I'm sorry, I have to go back to Lily one more time. You know, we just took a commercial break, which is a sponsor break. But if you guys remember what we were talking about Lily, what was the line? You just dropped it? Like gold, I said, the depth of our like in talking to this friend and thinking about this friend, that the depth of our relationship will be based on the amount, the level that

you can forgive. Yeah, it will be based on forgiveness. Man. On the break, I nailed it. This is spontaneous and it was like boom, Grangers like why did we stop camera? Look, this is kind of how it works. But yeah, the depth of the relationship will be based on your ability to forgive boom. All right, close case. The next question subject titled Dad says, Hey Grangeer, my name is Darby. I'm from Little Rigby, Idaho. Shout out to Idaho I love the podcast and watching the Smiths. I was wondering

what happened to your dad. I lost my dad February fifth, twenty seventeen. It's by far the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. Beyond thankful for great for grief share, and so grateful for having God in my life to get me through all of this. Thank you, Darby. I found this question this morning, and I brought it up because I knew you were gonna be on the podcast Burns and so that makes three of us Derby that have

gone through this, be Burns and you. I lost my dad March fifth, twenty fourteen, was a sudden heart attack. I haven't talked about it very often, if ever, on the Smiths or on a podcast or in anything, but we lost him suddenly. My mom was visiting Lincoln, my middle boy was just born. He was two months old, and my mom was visiting, staying a couple days and spending some time with little baby Lincoln, and my dad was home. He lived on a farm. He was sixty

one years old. In fact, we buried him on his sixty first birthday, and he was doing some stuff in the yard. We don't really know because my mom drove home on the third day and about five thirty pm she pulled into the house. The lights were off, still dark in March. At five point thirty pm, she pulled in and all the lights were off in the house.

She called his name a couple of times, and she just got a weird feeling, and she went back to their bedroom and he was sitting in the chair in the dark, and he was like he was just sleeping. He just kind of turned his head to his side and closed his eyes, and Mom said, all we know is Mom said, he had the top of his hand under his belt in his waist. There was a rag on the floor that looked like it was wet earlier, like maybe he was wiping his forehead. Maybe he was dizzy.

And his phone was still plugged in in the kitchen, which means there was no time to say I should call a doctor. There was a weed eater and a chainsaw that was taken apart out in the yard that he had apparently been working on and fixing. It was springtime, you know, he was doing things like that. And then the computer we logged into the I'm going through all

the things we know. We logged into the computer, and he had been on at eleven am was the last time he logged out of the computer, and the trash was It was a Wednesday. The trash was by the door, which he always took down at noon, all leading to the fact that this happened somewhere between eleven am and noon.

He must have been working on a weed eater, felt lightheaded, maybe dizzy, said I should go sit down, but still nothing alarming him to grab a punk, to grab a phone, sat down, and he had a massive heart attack and it killed him right there. M So that was you know, my mom called me and said the words that I'll never ever forget. She said, granger. I said, yeah. She said, what are you doing? I said, just eating pizza with the kids, And she said, your dad had a heart

attack and he died. And it was like the you know, I couldn't even process the heart attack part, much less the second part of the sentence. And I just couldn't. I was trying to process that so fast. And but yeah, to speak to you, Darby, I agree. He said, it's the hardest, by far, the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. I get it, man, I get it that these things typically losing a dad happens to everybody most of the time.

That's something that's relative to all humans. We lose a dad, but it still doesn't make it doesn't make it easier no matter I've talked to people that have lost their dad due to cancer and it's been years of regression and slow death, and then I've talked to people like me who lost him instantly, and there doesn't seem to be a difference in the grief really at all. It's just hard no matter what. And Bernie, you got a story too. Yeah, I think that I would fall into

that category, opposite of Granger. I lost my dad last December twenty twenty, a few days before Christmas. So my dad had had a lot of medical issues for a long time. In twenty seventeen, I think twenty sixteen, he had a heart attack that should have killed him. And every doctor that, because he lives in a small town in East Texas, hospital is not, you know, set up

to handle what he was experiencing. And somehow they had the wherewithal to get on the hospital or get on the phone to the hospital in Tyler, and the doctor happened to be there and get on the phone and walk them through, Hey, this is exactly what you need to do, and got him life lighted and ended up saving his life. From there, it was the next three years were three three and a half years were very much a lot of hospital visits, a lot of medical issues.

There was times where, you know, my siblings, we would be like, Okay, we need to go because this is it. Yeah, And then I mean, this guy would just like keep pulling through like it was like the dot would call us and be like, yeah, you know his nars, you probably need to come. It's like he would just find a way just keep living. Yeah, it's like, my goodness, And I'll tell you what his And I'm not going to go into a long tangent here, but I know that there's people out there that have a lot of

different kinds of relationships with their dads. You know, Granger and his dad and me and my dad. The way that you lost him, y'all's relationship up until that point. But my relationship with my dad was, you know, he left our family, My parents were divorced. He left, and then he came back when I was very young, and then he came back and promised our family he would never leave again. And then he left again. And I

can't put that all on him. I know that marriage is tough and you know, raising kids and all that stuff, but he left and there was definitely you know, I was a mama's boy, and I was very loyal to my mom, and there was a lot of distance between me and my dad. After my mom passed the way in two thousand and four, I think that that did set up some kind of avenue to restore this relationship

with my dad. And I'll tell you what, it took years and years and years of my dad fighting for me and just continuing to come back and tell me I love you, I'm proud of you. And it wasn't until after that heart attack that he just had a new life. He literally lived every day because for him, it was like, hey, I the doctor told me, I'm on borrowed time. Yeah, And he really lived every day, you know, the last years of his life and it

and there finally dawned on me. At one point I called him and they had or no. He called me and said, hey, the doctor said, my heart disease, heart failure has gone to stage. So they're giving me, you know, a few weeks maybe a couple months at the most, and I just had to tell him in that moment, like man, Dad. He was like, I'm so proud of you and everything, and I was like, hold up, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for just continuing

to love me and pursue me. And our relationship here is not like the American dream Father's Son, but it's a story of redemption and reconciliation and I love our story. I wouldn't change it for anything. And he had another three weeks to a month that he pushed to another nine months. Somehow I know that he got to heaven and I was like, we're so glad you're here. We expected you a while ago, but we're glad you're here now. But the backside of that, I think because of that,

like Chris said, the grief doesn't change. The grief is still there. We still have to work through it. But I think it does look different the way that life that you experienced death, would you agree the way that we experience it, and that and the relationship that was there and the dynamics of it will play a part and how you grieve and how you work through whatever events led up to that I want to reword one thing you said, and I know you agree because we

have the same beliefs. But the words from God weren't. We didn't expect you. The words were. We gave you a little extra time and you did exactly what you needed to do with you made the best. Well done, my good and faithfuls servant, That's what he said. Oh, absolutely absolutely, God extended that time on purpose. God is in control of our time. Yeah, absolutely not not doctors or or are wherewithal the pool through. Yeah, he was

given that time for a reason. He was, and it was for you to tell the story of redemption and restoration, partly to other people that could hear, like Darby and Dude, you're spot on, and Darby you are too. Man, it's hard. I'm glad that you're in Greef share like you said, and that you say, I'm beyond grateful for having God in my life to get through all this. That's exactly right. You are grateful and you praise We praise God through

our suffering. And it's it's a misunderstanding of spiritual people to say that God is God heals all, and he heals all physical ailments. He's like a Genie canny. Yes, he absolutely can, but that's not what he does. Most of the time, he doesn't because we need to go through suffering and praise him so that we could find the difference between light and dark. If all we had was light without any dark, there wouldn't be a dressed.

If all we had was good and blissfulness, that's right, we would never appreciate the victory, the true victory in football, if you won every game without a loss, then the championship wouldn't mean as much as if you had gone through a year of losing and struggling and rebuilding and relearning, and then you built back up through the suffering, through the tribulation, and you made it and you win the championship and you celebrate because you have overcome through adversity,

and that is the meaning of life. Now, I think you're right, man. The worst basis that evangelism can take is that God is like a pill. Hey, just take this and kill everything, cure everything, and there's a lot of people, you know, just speak it and it's going to happen. I understand the power of our words, and I understand where they're going with that intention. But we know from life experience that that and we know from

God's who are that is not true. It's not how he works and what you're going to end up doing. If you're spinning that kind of gospel, you're going to lead people to just feeling broken, trust in, mad, upset, disappointed, and frustrated, more with God, and more in disbelief than they were before you told him about it. So how many times have we heard people say, I'm just really mad at God right now because I don't understand if

there's a God out there. I don't understand a God that would allow little children to suffer and get cancer. And I don't understand a God that would allow wars to happen. And you're missing the point of God is do you really want a perfect, little, blissful life. Would you ever know the brilliant beauty of light if you've

never seen dark? No? The answer is no. And we have these tiny little that are trying to understand, like these universal mysteries come on guys like we are not the most intelligent generation that's ever lived, don't we don't understand nearly as much as we think we do. Yeah, I hate to make a spiritual reference to the Matrix. But dude, the movie The Matrix hits its spot on when the machine world is telling the humans that we tried to create which the matrix is the software program

that allows humans to live. So they're talking about we tried this world, this human world, to try to create it on the software program, many many times, giving them the perfect life, until we realize the only way humans could live is by entering evil and suffering into their lives, because unless they can overcome it and make it through it, they can't survive. They can't survive in perfect unity, not

in this world, not on Earth. We have to have of we have to have trials that we fight through and we make it through the other side and we feel confident and encouraged and hopeful because of that. So, Darby, you're you're on the path. I'd like to say this, Derby, if you say this is the hardest thing you've ever dealt with losing your dad, that means you got to

have pretty you had a pretty good dead. Yeah, because you said that, you wouldn't have said that, no, great point, great point, And and the weight that you're carrying right now is is a testament to that. Like I think you've told me that before. Like the weight of the loss is reflected by the depth of the love that you have for the amount the amount of grief we have, and a loss is paid for by the love. It's equal. However much love you have for someone, you're gonna have

a proportionate amount of grief when you lose them. So the more if you have, that means the more love you have, and you don't want to get rid of the love. So of course we hate grief, we hate growing through loss. But the more we have, the more we realize the more love that we shared. And that's the most important thing. Because you wouldn't want to sit here and go, I lost my dad, Good riddance, Dad was terrible. What good does that do for you? And

what impact does that have in your life? Forever? Darby, you will be able to live and move forward and go, I have one of the good ones. And you might look around and you might see bad dads out there and go, how did this old man survive? And my dad didn't? You know? You might think that, but the reality is you'll have that memory and that within you of your dad forever. Good question. Many burds I I'm gonna leave this one to you. Okay, we got homeboys

in Christ. I need some advice that rhymes we have a question for the podcast when you have Hay Granger. I need some advice, promotion, alcoholic veteran needs help. Another please read in all caps Faith and Friends slash fan reactions, and playing Overseas. I kind of want to go with playing Overseas because I'm hoping that it's like an invitation for me and you to go do the podcast overseas,

but I don't think that's what they're going for. So and then the first one is just intriguing because it's like everything in me doesn't want to pick that one, but I kind of have to go with it. It's well done on I don't know if you're trying to be super cheesy so it would get attention, but it worked.

Oh boys and christ I need some advice. After the question about dads, which is a great question, we realized that the EEE podcast, which is held in the same room, had used a plugged in an outlet that was plugged into my computer. It was unplugged. I didn't know about it, so the computer died during the dad segment. So what you what you hear now is a slight audio change. So we're back to these microphones again. The microphones. We're learning lessons again and again. Guys. Okay, the lesson is

to plug in. The lesson is blame others. Right, did we talk about this on this podcast something like that? Was it, Lily? I think it was. Yeah, the best that you can. That's right. You've got to be really good about it for it to go over. Blame the ye Yeek podcast guys for unplugging these microphones and not myself and not knowing that the clearly on the laptop there is not a little charge signal in the top right corner. That's not my fault. So so we're back

full circle. But the good news is I had just started reading this next question when we realized that the power died on the mics. I realized I had just started reading. In fact, I'm gonna like triple check this camera. Yeah. Good. The good news is I just started reading the next question when the when the microphones died? And it's a really good question. So the good news is I get to read it again and we hadn't started answering it yet.

That's right. That's right. The question titled homeboys in Christ I need some advice, which I don't know if she meant to rhyme that. Maybe she didn't even mean to rhyme that homeboys in Christ I need some advice, It says, Hey Granger and probably Bernie. I love the podcast. I'm a huge Yeee fan, music fan, all things Smith family, except for the guys that do the yee podcast. Sometimes they unplug cables. That's exactly right. Hey, my name is Megan.

I'm from Washington State, just north of Seattle, and I just turned twenty a few days ago. I'm graduating college this summer with my bachelor's degree in emergency management and homeland security. And for the last few years it's been my dream to be a police officer. The state of the current world and negative views on law enforcement haven't

even swayed the career path I'm taking. However, I've been told by many close family and friends Christ followers alike who work in the field that I should not pursue this career. I have prayed about this decision, that God

would open and close doors accordingly. As things began to get real and I have to begin public safety testing in October, it has been difficult to discern God's voice amongst my own selfish desires in the advice of fellow Christians who have lived the reality of the job, do you have any advice on how to know if I'm making a poor choice by pursuing this career even though I'm being advised against it by the people I know

and trust. Note, I'm aware that law enforcement is a really gnarly career path, and I understand it has me sacrifices it must be made. Thanks Megan. Awesome, awesome question. Awesome question. We love this question. We could do an entire podcast on this one topic subject. Love this question. It's great. Your heart, Megan, is in the right place.

What's interesting is we started this whole podcast and you started it by saying, seek wise counsel, listen to God's word, right, follow God's word seq And so we have a conflicting interest in this email. Yep. Kind of yeah, because she's hearing her wise counsel speak against this. Yep. I would. So first, you know, going back, you know, because I think they're in decision making, there's usually like three things I like to kind of process them through. First is

what does God's word say? Is there anything in God's word that is directly saying like, hey, you should not do this? You know? Next is what do God's people say? And that's your wise counsel, Like, is there any more experienced, you know, respected people in my life that I have reason for me not to do this that they advise? So I think that's kind of where you're at right here.

And it sounds like you're getting some conflict. The last thing if you made it through those, the last thing is that I usually process it through, is what do you want to do? I think there's tons of freedom in our lives that God gives us. And if God's word doesn't have anything affirms it, if the people around you affirm it, or you process that with them, and then it's just what do you want to do? Make a decision and go for what I was going to

say earlier. I'm not the best on Bible references locations, so somebody can comment where this is for my own bete. But in James where it talks about don't go to a foreign place and work and say I'm gonna work here a year and then I'm gonna come back. But instead so if God wills it, then you go here and you work for a year and go about business and there's a passage like that. So I think that that's the first thing, is like, you really need to make sure that you're spending time in the Word and

just in solitude and praying God. I want to be obedient to you. I know that you have the best for my life, and so I'm submitting my own will to you and saying like, could you guide me in the way I need to go? Because if that is into law enforcement, then I think you don't just dismiss the conversations you're having with people that you trust that

are saying you shouldn't do it. But I think you enter into those conversations with the question of, well, why why is this something that you're encouraging me not to do? Is it because of their own fear? Because that, if you go back to God's word again, is not founded. That's not wise counsel. Even with the people you're seeking the wise counsel comes from. Is it based in God's word?

They're supposed to be pointing you back to that. But if they're in their own insecurity and their own fear, what you want to do may sound crazy, and they're going to try to convince you not to do it. But if you feel like God's word is affirming that, and you feel like you do have people, once you've been able to communicate what God is doing leading you to, then I don't care what this world looks like. Do not stop so good man. There are so many instances.

And the reason Megan I got to say, and for everyone else's and the reason we keep going God's word, God Word, God Word, is because that's what that's part of what you're asking, and that's how burning are just going to base our foundational answers on. There's so many stories in the Bible when someone was called to do something and the world went against them and said you shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do this.

So I'm gonna say something here, and Megan, I love you, I think your heart is in the right place, but I'm going to say something that might sound a little insulting. I think I think you're you are making God smaller than he is. I think, and I don't mean that in insulting to you. I think your worldview of this whole situation is making a little, tiny God, a little insecure God that's not strong enough to make his will clear enough for you. So you want to go to

a lot of other people. You want to write into this podcast, which I'm glad you did, because this is what I'm going to tell you. Don't put God in a box, don't make him smaller. He is huge. He can move mountains, he could part seize. He is in control of everything. He is in control of every detail of your life. He knows every hair on your head. He numbers the hairs on your head. Is what he

has said. Therefore, if you are praying diligently like you are, for Him to open and close doors accordingly, then don't keep doubting the path you're on. If the doors are open and you're walking through them, clearly, you are walking through the doors that He has opened, and you are doubting these doors. It's normal to doubt. I doubt. Bernie doubts every character in the Bible, Noah, Moses, everyone has doubted.

Go read Exodus and talk about and read how God was telling Moses to go into Egypt and command to Pharaoh to let his people go, and Moses Goesugh me I do. I don't. I can't do that. Not a good speaker, I can't talk in God's said who made your mouth? Who made your mouth? And he said, you just send somebody else. I'm just not good at this stuff.

That's normal for you to think that, Megan. But it sounds like God is opening the doors to law enforcement and you're walking through them and questioning all the way through that this is maybe not God's will when he's clearly oh, because hey, this is what I mean by don't make him a small God. When you ask him to close the door, He's going to close the door.

If you're trusting him, he will close the door. So I'm not talking about he's going to close it because a friend's going to call and go, Heck, Megan, have a bad feeling about this. I'm kind of scared of it. I don't think you should do it. And I know a lot about law enforcement. That's not a closed door. That's exactly what Bernie is saying. You say, well, let

me talk to you a little bit. What you're reasoning a closed door is you go in and you get a test result back from your physical going into the police department and they say, hey, you have a blood clot and we can't accept you into the force because

you're that's close, you know. But you walk this path, Megan, with a vengeance, knowing that you are on God's side, because you are a child of God and you have prayed to him, and you are walking according to his will, because because Paul says and his epistle in his letter, he says that we need to transform our minds. Therefore, to discern the will of God through our minds, not through our hearts or our feelings or everyone around us,

or the what the world's telling our minds. And you are looking clearly at this job as a police officer. You even said in your note, I'm aware using your mind the law enforcement is a really gnarly career path. But I understand that's a mind thing. That's not a heart thing. It's not a feeling thing. I understand how many sacrifices must be made. You have decided with your mind, you have transformed your mind and according to the will

of God. You are discerning now the path that you're on, and you need to walk through these doors that are open, and if they close, that's a different story. But you're gonna know don't make him small, don't make him don't don't think that he's just giving you little nudges in the sky. He is. He is controlling your steps here. So go for it, Megan. I think it is. It is brave of you. I think it is is valiant

of you. I think you are. You're stepping into law enforcement in a time when everyone is running from it. In Washington State, everyone is running from law enforcement. They're they're either going to a different state or a different easier career path, or they're switching jobs. And you're going into the fire in a time when everyone's going out of it. And I love you for that. I admire you for that, and don't let people discourage you. Yeah. No,

that's great, preach son. The verse that he's referencing is Romans twelfth two. So go back and read that. The first part of that says, do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world. Instead, be transformed by a renewal of your mind. Okay, so remember that first part, do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world. So this world, the pattern is, this is hard, this is unsafe, this is politically this way or that way, so I should probably not do it. That's what the

world is saying. And this is not just about law enforcement. This is about these days a lot of different things. So you can either choose to she said current state of the world, even reference world current state of the world. So what the world is kind of like preaching to us is, hey, don't put yourself in a harm's way because of a calling that God has placed on you.

And again this I know you guys listening out there may be involved in a different career path where your integrity, your reputation, your safety, your life is being put and in harm's way. But God says, hey, don't conform to what the world is doing and what they're telling you. Be transformed by a renewal of your mind. And I think what that is going to tell us is that no, just like throughout the Bible, God has led me into this battle. He's going to give me the armor and

the tools that I need when I need them. I'm walking with the King of victory. I have to hold on to that. That's my hope. My dad was in law enforcement for thirty five years, so this is definitely something that's close to me and to see you know, guys like my dad that de escalated. We're humble, We're there to serve and protect, We're loving. And I know there's a picture that the enemy and that the world wants to paint of the majority of law enforcement so

that these polar opposites can keep fighting. But it's like, look, the majority of us are in the middle. We're very very close on a lot of these issues. But these people on other sides are much louder voices. So I'm gonna tell you, don't listen to the voices. Don't listen to the worldly voices. Listen to the voice of God. Seek wise counsel. That's right, totally different. Sit with it, wrestle with it, talk with them. And this is not just for Megan, This is for me Griz. This is

what we guys, This is life. This is what we do when these things come up. And we do live in a world where we can't pretend that these issues and that our world is not right in front of our face now and that it's not much louder than it used to be. It is in our ear louder than ever. But I think that we just have to quiet those voices. We have to listen to the voice of God, and that can be through His word, that

can be through the community of the church. We have to listen to that voice and be still with it, and then just go boldly and courageously into what you're supposed to do. You think God doesn't want his warriors in Seattle, Washington in law enforcement. Of course he does. They have to be. He is calling you to this, I believe. How do I know because you have You're graduating with a bachelor's degree in emergency management homeland security. You've been in this for a long time. You said,

it has been my dream. You put all caps dream, all caps to be a police officer, and now the world is telling you pumped the brakes. Well, here's the key, here's the kicker to all this. You said, I have prayed about this decision. Done, done, put a period on that. You are walking with the Lord here, and He is preparing your steps for you. He has created this passion. He created where do you think that dream came from? He lit that fire in you. So your prayer is this,

It's God, here we go. It's getting real. I'm walking down this path that you have you have laid out for me. Now, I have a lot of people telling me that I shouldn't do this. I have a lot of people that are scared for me, scared for my life, scared for the future of law enforcement in Seattle, Washington. But I'm walking this because you have The path is still open. So here we go, step by step. I have testing coming up in October, So here we go. God, if this is not right for me, close the store.

If it's open, I'm walking into testing. I'm going into testing, and I'm gonna do this and until you stop me, I'm going this direction that's open and closed door. Yep. And that's a closed story for you. Thank you, Megan for your service. I love this. Yeah, it's great. Because of our computer failure, it has given us an opportunity for one more question. Oh okay, So for anyone who you dug through the bad audio of the dad question,

we're going a little bit. We're going to give a little bit longer on this podcast now and go to one more so, Burns, We've got question for the podcast. I need some advice promotion, alcoholic veteran needs help. Question. Please read all caps, Faith and Friends fan reactions and playing overseas Man. We need to get a wheel where we just like spit and it's like, okay, this is the one we're doing. Okay. What I don't want this to become is I don't want people to think they

got to make the most creative subject ever. That's why I kind of don't like, well, let's go with podcast question. Boom you know, there you go. That's how you counteract that, right, yep, Okay, It says, hey, grand your my name is Andrew. I'm from Ontario, Canada. I'm a senior in high school. I have a ton of questions I'd like to ask, but my number one is what is the number one life advice you'd give to someone someone who has not found themselves yet or is in the process of doing so.

Ye ye, Andrew is asking the question. He's asking the questions. Read it one more time. This says, my number one question is what is the life advice you'd give to someone who hasn't found themselves yet? Welcome? No, that's so good. It's a journey we're all on and welcome. Don't give up. That's the end of the Just kidding, dude, that's good. That's good. Yeah, what I see here is senior in high school, Bro, I didn't know myself. I did, I just didn't. Was I searching, of course I was. You

better believe I was. I was searching. I was asking questions. I was in the process of finding myself. But it is possible to find yourself who you are in high school. But I wasn't one of them. That wasn't either. I don't think a lot of people are capable of being eighteen, nineteen, seventeen years old whatever you are and going you know what. I know exactly who I am, and I'm a rocket. I found myself. Yeah, it takes life experience. So that's

the advice. Get out and experience life. Things that you just are uncomfortable with, things you don't understand. Go be curious, Go adventure, go journey, go like because that's going to help you. When you get outside of yourself and what you know, you're gonna be able to look back at it and be like, oh, that's that. Oh I like that, that's that's me, and that and that's me too. You're

gonna you're gonna start to build that in. Traveling helps traveling Yet, I know I know that, especially these days, traveling is expensive, but you can grab a backpack and there's probably a lot of websites. You're in Ontario. If you haven't been to the US yet, maybe maybe that's something you could do, is head to the US and take a backpacking trip. Maybe jump on some trains that they have in on the East coast and see Philly and New York and Baltimore and d C. And cruise

up and down the coast a little bit. Uh. If you haven't seen the rest of Canada, you could find out a lot about yourself by going into a different culture, like Bernie said, and flipping the script on what is normal and trying something new. Muh. I feel like I don't know if I like I said, I don't know if I've found myself. I have a lot more uh security and my identity where my identity is found, and you know, just life experience. But would you say that

you typically find those things when you're not looking for them. Yeah. Yeah. And what's interesting is I was thinking, me and you did the same thing that as at Andrew's age, Me and you did the same thing. We both moved to Nashville, Tennessee, which was a yeah, music related, dream related, I get it. But there was way more to it than that. It was getting out of our home state you were coming from, actually Atlanta. It's getting out of our home state and

flipping the script and stripping away everything. It's not like we were meaning to do that, but that's what we did in a roundabout way. I went to Nashville. I got away from every comfort I had, every friend, I had, every piece of income that I had, and flipped script and tried something new. And guess what happened. It took me four years living there. But when I moved back to Texas after those four years, I was a different person.

I don't know if I would if I could say I found myself, but I found myself a lot more than I did when I first moved to Tennessee. And traveling will do that. New cultures, meeting new kinds of people that don't sound the same or address the same as you do. It's a good way to you could you could find out quickly if the way of life you've been living is the right way, or maybe you were thinking backwards, but you could figure that out by just seeing new people working a new job, like Bernie said,

trying a new craft, a new skill. The reason. I think society has set itself up in the perfect way through God. If you're a believer that you're a senior in high school, and it's like that is the age when you're supposed to leave the nest and get out of your comfort zone, which is about seventeen, eighteen, nineteen twenty years old. Right around there is the time when you're supposed to leave and leave your mom and dad, or your dad, your aunt wherever you're living. I don't know.

You're supposed to leave that nest and try to fly and fall and get back up and try to fly again. That's the age. You don't do that any earlier. You're not supposed to. Really you can, you're not supposed to, and you're not supposed to do it any later. This damage on both sides. Our society has learned through hundreds and hundreds of years that when a boy turns eighteen, get out of the nest and try to fly, Andrew, that's when you figure out who you are. Is when

you first spread your wings out of your nest. So the answer is you're doing You're asking the right question, and you're welcome to the club. It is like Bernie said, the very big welcome, Welcome. You're eighteen, you haven't found yourself. You're right on track, good job, doing the exact thing you need to be doing. And one day, when you're my age and Bernie's age, you'll look back and go, yeah, yeah, I found myself. Now I found it and you will too.

Ye yee yee yee dude, thanks for being here. Good stuff as always. Thank you guys. Y'all are the best. Y'all are awesome. Keep bringing the good questions boom ye yee see you. Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss

anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye ye