Sorry I get frustrated. But you can't question this!

I can help the most. This podcast has evolved so much into so many different aspects of life, and I was just thinking all of the wise men and women that you have on this podcast. I always just tend to get the younger person questions because it's more fresh for me. So I was like, I'll hope whatever I can, I tend to be used for the young guy who's having relationship issues, which is a very common problem. So many questions come up on this podcast and so many

different categories that we talk about. And you, of all the guests that I have, you are more quiet, But that's how you are in real life. You're a listener. You think you listen, but then when you talk, it's like this explosion of wisdom will come in these spurts. That's incredible and you're one of the reasons, although you're my little brother, you're one of the reasons that you're a consistent guest on this podcast, and you're one of the reasons that you're on episode one hundred next week.

So everyone listening, we have pre recorded already episode one hundred. This is episode ninety nine. We're gonna have episode one hundred coming next Monday. You're not gonna want to miss it. So if you listen to this, if you're new, or if this is your first one, or if you listen all the time, mark on your calendars next Monday morning, episode one hundred. I have some all star guests that

we're all here in a panel together. If you don't know about this podcast, we answer your questions, you could email them to Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Could be any question on any topic and any subject, and that's what, like you're saying, this podcast has evolved, and that's what it's evolved too,

to answering your questions. I feel very blessed to have people surrounding me in my life wise counsel that I could talk to about anything, any kind of subject that could be in a setting of the cab of a truck on a road trip or sitting around a campfire, and it's like, hey, man, could I kind of run something by you? I got something going on in my life. I want to run it by you. I love that I have that wise council, and it occurred to me that I should share that wise counsel with the world

in a podcast form. So and then I'm kind of blown away that this podcast has grown to what it is. I mean, we're consistently in the top chart of all music podcasts in the world, and it's a testament to knowing that people genuinely want to talk about life and listen about life and listen to listen to other people's questions. Because although I'm going to answer several questions on here from you guys, obviously most of you will not get

your question answered on this episode. But I would like to think that everything we talk about in the range of subjects, something is going to relate to your life or you're gonna be able to take some kind of nugget out of it. I know I do from my own life. I listen to you guys, and I go through this podcast, and I ended up learning so much

about my own life just because of it. So yeah, I was going to say, it's just as beneficial for us to come together and be thinking about these topics and see what people are dealing with on a day to day basis, whether you know it or not, some of the different issues, and how thirsty they are for for knowledge and guidance for sure. And you know, I know you do, and I know Chad and Bernie and Christian all of us research so much during the week. We research other things, and we read so much, and

we're constantly learning. And now that now that I when I read now and I listen to things, I'm in my mind, I'm going, ooh, that's a that's a good idea to remember. For an answer to a podcast, I want to start with an easy one here, like a warm up question, and it says the subject line says for Parker, it says, how long has it taken you to master the piano? Did you take lessons as a child? How many years? I truly think acoustic guitar and piano

are beautiful together. Hint hint, Granger. This question comes from Jen Lindler. Well, I was born with it and that's pretty much it. I've just always been great, right. I once heard a guys say that I may not be necessarily gifted in something right off the bat, but I have a PhD in persistence, and people are always like, man, that's such a gift. That's such a gift. And yes, honestly, the gift of persistence is a gift from God. And to try to hone in on that is the key.

And so I've been playing for about four years consistently, and I always tell people you're twenty minutes a day from becoming a master of whatever you want to become a master of. There's exceptions here and there to you want to stay in the ballpark of you know what you're naturally good at and inclined to do, and what you're what you know the desires are that you have.

And I've always just been interested in piano, and so I've been playing about twenty minutes a day for four years and that's kind of where I've gotten to where I am. So you're you're twenty minutes a day from any particular hobby or skill on the side that you want to be good at. In a couple of years, you'll be you'll be pretty proficient at it. Totally agree and the accept your talking about. It's like, for instance,

an NFL quarterback. You can't practice twenty minutes a day and then eventually you're going to be an NFL quarterback. There's just certain limitations that we have as humans. But I think, for the most part, especially musical instruments, that twenty minutes a day thing is you're gonna be proficient in guitar or piano no matter who you are, no matter if you don't have a creative or a musical

bone in your entire body. You practice for twenty minutes a day for and put that together in a course of so many years, you're gonna be able to sit around at Christmas time and play Christmas carols on the piano or the guitar. You just are so And that goes with anything in life. It's not just piano and guitar. It's anything you want to get. You want to get

pretty decent. I mean, if you practice ping pong for twenty minutes a day for five years, you're gonna be the best ping pong player in your family and in your friend group, hands down. Yeah, it's about getting one percent better every day and having the humility to set the bar properly low for yourself to where it's like learning piano and seeing someone else who's really gets really

easy to compare yourself. You look at Granger and listen to him saying you're not going to be that good when you first try seeing But if you're able to set that bar properly low and be like, Okay, I'm going to try to hit these two notes today, or I just want to figure out what key this piano song is in and I'm going to find it on the board and then do it, and then over time, that's what's gonna That's what's going to get you to that level is is taking it one day at a

time and not getting discouraged by looking at where someone else is before that. And then the other thing is where are you finding your validation? Are you are your what's the motivation for learning it? Is it to be able to impress people to try to make up for some insecurity that you have. Are you trying to find

that validation from other people? Or are you like, I just want to learn this because I genuinely like playing piano by myself, and if nobody ever hears it, then that's okay, But just question yourself too, before you wake up ten years down the road and you're like, I did that to prove somebody else wrong out of anger or spite or pride. And if you can do it just because you genuinely enjoy it, you're not trying to get validation from it, then that'll help it be longer

lasting and meaningful. I've heard somebody say before that you could always tell in somebody's life how bad somebody wants something by the result of what that manifestation is in their life. So if someone says, for instance, man, my number one goal is to be a great dad, But then you look at their life and their kids are out of control and they like to spend more time on the you know, on the bass boat on the weekends than they do throwing the ball with their kid.

Then you go, well, then you don't really want to be a great dad. Yeah, your actions are so loud, I can't hear what you're saying. Yeah, the result is right there, the manifestation of what that is. So like when someone says, I really really want to learn piano, do you play piano? No, I just really want to learn. Well, then you don't really want to learn because you're not trying. Yeah, so let's go specific to this question from Jen how

many years and do you take lessons? We'll start with that, like be specific about her question, how many years have you been playing? I've been playing off and on since I was about seventeen. I didn't play for four years when I was in college, and I didn't play for the first year out of college. I decided to take it seriously and start doing literally twenty minutes a day is what I started doing about four years ago, a

little over four years ago. And then I started getting to the point where I was like, Okay, I'm getting better. I would like some additional guidance to get to the next level. And I've been taking lessons once a week, which has helped me a lot with accountability and with learning the theory and some of the things that I don't love doing, like reading sheet music and learning the theory, the stuff that's a little bit more boring to me. It's helped me be it's helped keep me account and

I've been taking lessons consistently for a little over one year. Yeah, So that goes back to also time blocking your day. So Jen, if you really want to learn piano, then you just time block your day and you go, okay, I need twenty minutes, and you set set your expectations low, set the bar low. I think that's a great plan in terms of don't tell yourself you're gonna practice for two hours a day for seven days a week. Yeah,

you get burned out. You're gonna get burned out. And when you when you don't meet that expectation of yourself, you're gonna go, you know what, I was just never cut out for it. So I think twenty minutes is even ten even if you start with ten, like Jordan Peterson would say, set your bar super low, ten minutes a day. I'm gonna go ten minutes a day, five

days a week, Monday through Friday. Ten minutes. And that's and that's that's something that you could build on because then you go ten minutes works, I'm gonna bump it up to fifteen. And you just add all that up and you look back one day and you go, wow,

I play piano. Piano and just any instrument is such a such a good analogy for life too, because it's so easy to just get caught up in how other people are where they're at, or focusing on wanting to be able to play the whole song perfectly when it's like I just need to focus on playing these few notes today correctly and be content with that totally. Let's get into some heavy stuff. How about relationship problems? That says, Hey, this is Caleb from Arkansas. I'm fourteen. I want your

advice on relationship problems. I just recently met the most wonderful and perfect girl. We started dating for about a month, but what hurt me most was when I found out her parents didn't want her to date until she's older, which I understand and I'm sure you do too, since you have a daughter. But we had to break up and I fell into a major cloud of depression and I don't know what to do about making us how

this is going to work for our future. Do you have any suggestions on how to get rid of depression and how to convince her parents? Then I'm not a bad kid. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I love what you do. Keep up the great work. God bless thank you. Caleb shout out to Arkansas. It's a common question I see this kind of question in a different form all the time. Coming into this podcast, I'm trying to figuret where to start. Fourteen. We'll start

that he's fourteen, Yeah, exactly. It's not Caleb. It's just not a big deal. It is a big deal in your world, I understand, But in the perspective of your life, it's not a big deal that you found the most wonderful and perfect girl. I think you are. You're needing something from a wonderful, perfect girl that you are, that's making up for something else that you're missing as a fourteen year old because you you shouldn't, you shouldn't crave this so bad that you go into a cloud of depression.

I think that's stemming from something else. So let me go ahead and answer one part of your question. Do you have any suggestions on how to get rid of depression? Brother, that's a different there's a different question. Those are two profoundly different questions here. And so if this, if this is causing you depression or a major cloud as you

put as you put it, then there's something wrong. There's something that's like saying I have a headache, Oh my gosh, I have a headache, and then you go and you get an MRI and there's like a growth on your brain, Like there's a difference between having a headache because you have allergies and there's actually a growth on your brain. There's something deeper than allergies going on here with you

with your headache per se. So then the other part of the question is that we'll get into, is you found out her parents don't want her to date till she's older, which I think is a really good rule, And there's something to say for a teenager or young twenties in respecting the girl's parents' decision. And that's a major thing, right, Respecting what her parents think about her age and dating needs to come as a high priority

to you. You have to honor that, You have to honor parents, You have to honor your parents, and you need to honor this girl if you truly, if you truly think she's a wonderful girl that probably has a lot to do with she was brought up the right way with parents that are keeping an eye on her. Yeah, the older I get, it would be hard to tell my fourteen year old self this, But the older I get, the more I am aware that it's probably not the best idea to be dating anybody unless you're in a

place to marry them. To the point of dating is to be evaluate somebody for marriage. And if you're fourteen years old, probably not in that season of your life. Yet. You are becoming a young man. You are making friends, you're being a part of sports, You're figuring out the gifts that God gave you and where you're going to be and where He needs you to be. And I think that every young man has gone through that early teen heartbreak and it's going to be part of it.

And this is going to be something that he looks back on and it's going to be such an awesome learning opportunity for him to be like, hopefully look back and say, man, I remember when I idolize that relationship over a lot of things, and it completely crushed me. And you'll learn to just look at relationships in general and women from a new perspective for sure. Caleb. I'm saying this to you not because I'm looking down on you or looking away from the outside looking in. I'm

saying it because I've lived it. I know Parker's lived it, and I know most people listening that have been through their teen years have lived it. This is not you're not doing something that's out of the ordinary. I understand what you're saying, and so that's why I feel like I can tell you, buddy, move on, like lean into your friends, lean into a hobby. Fourteen is the perfect age to really get into a sport or a hobby. And I say a hobby because maybe you're just not

athletic at all. So you could lean into the math theme or the chess team, or art, our, theater, our music. We just talked about piano. Piano is a great thing to lean into. Guitar is a great thing to lean into. That's when I learned how to play guitar. It was age fourteen. So think of what that did for me. Leaning into guitar and pouring that time and energy that you'd be pouring into relationship. Pour that into your buddies, your guy friends, and an instrument or football or baseball,

wrestling or soccer or track. Lean into that. The time is coming when you're gonna find the perfect girl for you, and it might be this one, just not right now. Yeah, and in the long run, that's going to be more attractive to a girl. Anyway, is when she finds someone who is content and is not desperate and is working on themselves and working on their purpose rather than trying so so hard to get in a relationship or to get back with that X. Yep, good advice, Caleb. Move on,

all right? How about this one? This is a subject on EE Apparel, Parker, you are the CEO of Yue Apparel. It comes from Michael Buck and he says, Man, what an awesome name, Michael Buck. That's good name, Michael Buck. Uncle Buck, I wish I could be an Uncle Buck says, I don't know any other way to reach you, guys, but I was wondering if you could possibly consider releasing

a line of fire resistant long sleeve shirts. I work in the oil and gas industry and resistant clothing is a must, and I would love to be able to promote EE Nation at work. I strongly believe that I wouldn't be the only one to purchase a resistant shirt. If you could make this happen, that would be amazing. Michael Buck, ee fan, have you ever thought of that, Parker?

I have not. I will say that as the first request we've gotten for that, which is typically not the best sign as a business if you don't have clientele that is really needing that. And from our point of view, we only have a certain amount of money. We're a small business that we can spend and it's a big risk anytime we do a new product. Michael, I'm sorry. I would love to be able to help you out if we get some more requests. I'm sure we could

look into doing a limited edition run. Beg. We'll say this right now because it's live on the podcast, because this is out there in the universe now, we could say that. Does anyone agree with Michael in comment below on if you're on iTunes, give this podcast a rating anyway? That's kind of that really would help us. Give us a rating and give us a comment. Yes to fire resistant clothing. Why does he need it? Again, I'm sure

he's a firefighter. It's got to be a fire. Don't the firefighters have like the protective outer shell they're not going to be wearing. Oh no, I'm sorry, he says. I work in oil and gas gas. He works in oil and gas, so's he's around, you know, dangerous stuff every day and he probably has the opportunity to wear whatever apparel he wants as long as it's fr so comment below. If you're watching on YouTube, comment below say

yes to fire resistant. If you're on Spotify, I don't think you can comment so we will get a good reading on what this means. But Michael, thank you for being a fan, thank you for supporting YGI apparel, and thank you for believing in us enough to trust us if we were to make fire resistant that you would actually wear it in a danger situation. Yeah. True. Wow, Okay, let's go to ooh this is this is a good subjectcline. We have time yet, We have time for this one

and then we'll take a break. The subject line is Christianity, extremist and marriage. It says this is from Laura from Ontario, Canada. It says, good morning, guys, thanks for doing what you do. My husband of sixteen years parenthesis maryan a Catholic church turned to Christianity approximately eight years ago. We've been together for twenty eight years and have a fifteen year old son. I support his journey and can recognize many upsides to

desire to be with God and follow his word. There have been many adjustments along the way, such as Sabbath, no mainstream TV, no alcohol, no work, women must work outside the home. Just to Laura a few I'm just reading it the way it says says. The issue I'm struggling with is the fact that eight weeks ago he informed me he will not attend my parents' funeral parentheses when the time comes, because it will be a Catholic

ceremony and attending would be sinful in his mind. I know full well and have told him that he could attend as a non participant, no matter the denomination, in order to support his spouse, but he refuses. Although we don't agree on all aspects, I'm a believer and would not let this affect my relationship with God. God is good.

I can't help but feel abandoned altogether. I'm really feeling completely disconnected from him at this point and questioning if there's any reason to spend the rest of my life with him. Your thoughts, thanks in advance, really looking forward to hearing your views on this. Laura from Ontario, Canada, married sixteen years to recap, been together twenty eight and have a fifteen year old son. Is there's a lot to unpack and this, Yeah, there is a lot to unpack,

So let me start backwards. Laura let me start backwards here your last paragraph. I feel disconnected and I'm questioning if there's any reason to spend the rest of my life with him. Yes, yes, there's a reason. Let me The reason is you've been married sixteen years and you have a fifteen year old son. Yes, that's a reason. Listen, everybody, listen. Don't look for the back door out of your marriage. Stop looking for a way out. This is crushing marriage.

This is crushing families, This is crushing children. Think what this is going to do to a fifteen year old son. Think what this is gonna do to his perspective of God and country and family and mom and dad and life and relationships that he's going to be going through. We just heard from a fourteen year old boy. Think what's going through these guys' mind, this kid's mind. So is there any reason to spend the rest of your life with him? Yes, there's a thousand reasons. So stop, guys, girls,

stop looking for an exit plan of your marriage. You've known him for twenty eight years. There's got to be something there. There's got to be something there that you could salvage. You work marriages, work, work through it, prepare for battle. Put your battlegear on. You're going to war, Laura. You're going to war against society and the norms and culture,

and you're going to fight for your marriage. And you're going to fight for your husband and let him know that no matter what, you're not looking for a way out. Even even if he doesn't attend your parent's funeral, your marriage is more important than your parent's funeral. Your parent's funeral is important, it's very important, and your husband's attendants should be an important thing, but nothing compared to losing your marriage, walking out on that, walking out on your

fifteen year old son. I'm let's start with that, then we can. You're fired up right now? Yeah? I see this stuff and I'm just like, really, and I haven't even begun to unpack how many things are wrong about either what her husband is believing or her perspective of what she thinks he's believing. I'm assuming she's getting this straight from him, and this is a completely distorted view of what following Christ means. And it's it's completely against

anything that the that a christ follower would say. Well, the subject was Christianity extremist, and I don't I don't really see any any part of this on either side being a Christian extremist Ristian. Let me just say, in my perspective of what we have blown this word extremist out of the planet. But man, I hope to God, I hope to God that it would make sense on my tombstone to say Christ extremist, Granger Smith Christ extremist.

I hope to God that that people would think of me that way, like I should be so blessed if the culture thought of me as an extreme follower of Christ. That's amazing. That's what I want to be. In case in case anyone hasn't figured that out about me, That's what I want to be. And we just got through saying whatever you want. You could tell how bad you want it by the results of what that is in your life. So I hope that the fruits of that in my life are evident that I want to be

passionately pursuing Christ. Guys, that's what Christianity means. It's it's not a culture or a heritage. And I don't even like the word religion. I was going to say, that's the first thing that people say. And I was actually at a buddy's ranch this last weekend and their dad, or excuse me, his grandfather who owned the ranch. He was he was not the biggest proponent of alcohol, and he didn't like it when people were drinking on the ranch,

especially his grandkids. And the guy was like, yeah, he's just super religious. And I guess that could be a religious thing to become a legalist. But I do think it's interesting that a lot of people would view you and your spiritual rebirth and becoming a follower of Christ, a radical follower of Christ, and they would say, grand are super religious. Now what are the connotations to that

versus being a radical follower of Christ? Do you think what is the difference between the right religious The right word is legalist. That's what we use. A legalist means. If you're very legalistic, then that means you take you take pieces of God's commands and you you go overboard with that. So, for instance, let's let's dive into this little bit no mainstream TV. Like you have to have a really good reason as a Christian to say no

mainstream TV. Like. Maybe your reason could be I am extremely addicted to sexual sensuality and if I see it in a commercial, then I'm in my mind, I'm gone like I'm sinning like crety. Okay, then dude, you probably shouldn't watch any mainstream TV. But that's rare. No alcohol, that is not a Christian law. It's not a drunkenness is but not alcohol like in fact, in fact, the Bible says in many points drink and be merry or wine brings gladness to the heart. So it's drunkenness that's

that is. That is the sin. Pork. That's an old Jewish Old Testament thing like Christ came to abolish that right, And and Peter goes into this whole, this whole thing where where he he learns that he can eat pork now and then you guys could read this for yourself in the New Testament. But because of this old thing

where he can't eat, he can't eat pork. And then he gets around some of his Jewish buddies and they're like, you can't eat pork, and this he goes back and he and Paul confronts him, and if you're not eating pork for a Christian reason, then you that is a sin because you are completely misunderstanding what Jesus taught being a Christian is being a follower of Christ. It's not about being legalistic, or it's not about being super religious, and all of these reasons right here. Like you said,

there's been many adjustments along the way. What I would want to see is, here's the many adjustments. He loves more, he's more patient, he's more forgiving, he's more understanding. He takes us to church every Sunday. He prays with this over every meal and before we go to bed, Like, those are the things that you would want to see, Not here's the reasons. He doesn't eat pork, he doesn't watch mainstream TV, no alcohol, women must not work outside the home like guys. This is the distorted view, a

completely distorted view of Christianity. And it sounds like it sounds like he has gotten into some cult or some sect of Christianity. If you can't go to if you feel like you can't go to your parents or your in law's funeral because they're Catholic and you don't believe in Catholicism, and you are, you're in a trap. You're in a dark place. So I guess, to kind of sum up this email, I think I think I'm seeing

I'm seeing some bad stuff on both sides, Laura. On your side, you're looking for a way out, and and on your husband's side, he's being he's being an extreme legalist. And then I want to say one more thing that this that stood out to me in this email. You said, I support his journey. This is the beginning. I support his journey, and I could recognize many upsides to his desire to be with God. That is completely underplaying Christianity. I see, I see the upsides. This is gonna save guys,

non believers. This is how this is how I feel about this. This is life saving. Following Christ is life saving. It's not an upside, there's not It's not a it's a perk. It's a nice perk, you know what I mean. So that's that's in that way, you're completely underplaying what this could be doing. But then I hear what he's doing, and then that's all. This is completely distorted. And and you guys need to you need to communicate, you need to come together, you need to you need to honor

each other. So you've got to honor him. Sounds like you are Laura, and he has to honor you. And you guys need to compromise on a church. You need to find your middle ground. You need to go to a good Bible believing, Bible believing like church, a church that is preaching the Bible that doesn't say you can't eat pork. That's a Jewish thing, guys. Uh. And and that could be a different email. I know we have Jewish people email this podcast. I love that. So that's

a different a different subject. But if we're not talking about that, so I would I would. Here's here's the order of what you do. Pray, you get into the word, You read the Bible, and you seek wise counsel. Repeat, Pray, get into the word, seek wise counsel. Repeat. Whether that has to do with jobs or marriage, or are trying to find your your path in this world. Pray, get into the word, seek wise counsel. The wise counsel being

people that are already praying and in the word. So pray, read the Bible, get in the word, and the seq wise counsel that pray and get into the word. I'm convinced that those three options, you do, those three things, you could solve every problem as that a human could have. Do you agree? Yes? I think it would save every marriage It would save every every form of depression. It would save every lost job and any any question you

guys have on this podcast. If you pray, you get into the word, which means read the Bible, and you seek wise counsel of people that praying to the word. I could go on forever. I'm like in loop right now, but yeah, I get fired up. Let's take a break. We'll be right back. Podcast has brought to you guys today by ritual. You deserve to know what's going in your body, especially when it comes to something that we

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better than that, So go try it out. Get Key Nutrients without the BS. Ritual is offering my listeners ten percent off your first three months. Visit ritual dot com slash granger to start your Ritual today. Parker Smith my brother guest of the podcast today, Did you have anything you need to announce fore apparel anything while you're on this podcast today? We have our Fall twenty twenty one launch coming September seventeenth, that's a Friday at ten am.

We have like thirty six different products coming. I've worked over fifteen months on some of these products. We have custom flannels that you've been wearing. Yeah, and you like them, right. I love it. I actually love it. I wore it. We just played a show last night in Boise, Idaho, and flew back this morning. But I wore the red and black flannel and it fits me great. I'm not trying to overplay this, you know me, Parker. I will

not wear it on the stage just let tried. I won't randomly wear something on the stage just because I'm trying to sell it because I think it's something we need to market. I will only wear it if it fits great and I think it looks cool. Yeah, it's really special and amazing just to be to the point where this is not just a plug of your usual artists or influencers merch where we made some T shirts. This is stuff that we've been working on for over

a year. Custom soft shell jackets, canvas work jackets, completely, custom hoodies. We analyzed everything in the fit and constructed them from scratch. So it's gonna be it's gonna be really fun on some September seventeenth, and we will actually be in Bristol that day watching the EE car race in Bristol, Tennessee, which is going to be amazing too, So that'll be a crazy day. Yeah, I love it, man,

It's the best flannel I've ever born. Now, of course, I would say that because we have been going through prototype after prototype after like just getting this custom made so that it looks and feels and fits good and

has all the EEE tags on it. So I'm just like you said, this iss gone so far past artist merch of hats and koozies and stickers and T shirts, and now we're truly getting it into an apparel company now where we're going to have lifestyle clothing that'll fit every season and that something you could wear, you know, in cool weather, cold weather, hot weather, that you're truly proud of, not just because of a printed design on the front of a shirt. So super excited back on

these questions. The subject line is advice for a fan and says, Hey, guys, my name is Josh, I'm nineteen years old. I'm from the Sticks in Louisiana. Just needs some advice on some stuff I've been dealing with and would love a second opinion on the matter. I recently had a breakup. It was with this girl for a little over four years. I'm about to leave for basic training, but I'm just having a lot of trouble, fighting this depression and loads of emotions. I love her and I

want to make her my wife. But well, I guess you could say life guid in the way and I'm in a lot of pain. I'd love an outside perspective. I'd love any advice. I appreciate it. I'm a huge fan. Keep up the great work and stay safe. What's up, Josh shout out to the sticks in Louisiana nineteen years old. Thank you for your service. Thank you for volunteering to go to basic training during a crazy time when a lot of people are running from the United States Armed Forces.

They're running like crazy away from it, and you're going into the fire, brother, and that says a lot about you, says a lot about your integrity and you're resolve and what you're wanting to do to keep this country safe, to support liberty and go against some evil forces out there in the world. We all know that they exist if you just watch the news for two seconds. So thank you, Josh. I appreciate you. Man Parker. Where do

we go with this? This is another this is another love lost and now they're depressed, but it's a little bit different. He's not fourteen, he's nineteen. This is a big age difference, and he's going to basic training. Where do you start with this? Who broke up with? Who? Did they just say that they broke up? He says life got in the way. Recently had a break up. Didn't really say what happened, except for the fact that he says, I love her, I want to make her

my wife, and life got in the way. I'm in a lot of pain. I'd love an outside perspective. Well, it's interesting now when you hear people go, we either want to break up or we're going to get married. It's one of the two, and they just kind of use those terms so loosely. Do you love her and you want to get married, or did you break up? You're not together? True? So what does that mean that

life got in the way? I mean, I just think that it's really easy for the world to tell tell us that we are incomplete in our singleness, and that if you don't have a family, and you don't have children, and you're not building a legacy for yourself as men, if you're not building an empire with your career as a woman, if you're not having a family, right now and you don't have children, it's really easy to think that you're incomplete in that. And that's just that's just

coming from that's a cultural thing. It's coming from the TV that we're watching, the romantic comedies that we're watching, the sitcoms. It's always easier to see the grass being greener. On the other side, fifty percent of marriages end up in divorce. Way more than that. People are miserable in their marriage and wish that they were single. See last question if you want to know more about this, Yeah, exactly. And then married people want to be single in their unhappiness,

single people want to be married. So it's like, it's not about marriage. This is just this is about a trend of human beings being discontent where they are. And man, I would just say to try to figure out exactly what's going on in your heart that you're getting put in this place of depression and how did this relationship become such an idol to you And there's probably a pretty good reason that you broke up, and maybe that's enough.

I mean, I would probably be extremely upset if someone told me this when I was nineteen, and so I'm not trying to pick at you or anything. But maybe it's something that in the long term you'll say, thank God that I went through that so that I could be more prepared for future relationships to know that that wasn't the end. All. You're nineteen years old, you have twenty years to get married. You have thirty years to

get married if you want. If you really want to get married, chances are you're going to get married one day. But to idolize it, there's a lot of things that I don't have. I don't have I'm not married, I don't have a twenty twenty one truck. I drive a

two thousand and eight Chevy Tahoe. But I'm not going to despair that I don't have a brand new car right now, a brand new house, or a marriage or kids, because that's not ultimate to me, because I know that you know, when we die, we're not going to be married in heaven, and so there's nothing ultimate about that. This is all temporary. So as much as we say this, it's always be content where you're at, try to figure out prayer, reading God's word, seeking lives counsel. Yeah, there's

a couple of things that play here. Josh One is there is a feeling that every man has of pursuit.

It's how we're built. Our hearts are built to pursue and conquer, and sometimes that gets in the way at the beginning of a relationship because whenever you're in pursuit and you're in the dating process, you want to go ahead and conquer and wrap this up, and you get sometimes you get lost in that pursuit and it gets destroyed to what this really means in terms of love and if you really love this girl, and you can get clouded into thinking, yes I do, but you're really

just wanting to win and you're losing right now, you're losing your behind three touchdowns and they have the ball, and you just want to win this game. I want to marry her. I think that's where it comes in, where it's like, are we broken up or should we get married? I think it's that's I don't want to win. I'm losing, And that's that's a good that's a good trait to have, and so many things in life, except when it comes to relationships, you got to actually use

your brain and not your heart. And right now your heart is speaking loudly over your brain. I would say as far as just her, just pump the brakes, Just pump the brakes, Let a little time go by, and let you let this heart stop beating so loudly, and let your mind take over a little bit, and maybe you'll be able to kind of see, you know what I did, I mess stuff in these areas, or you know what, she wasn't the right one. She was a little crazy. I just didn't see it. She's actually a

little crazy. I didn't. So that little time will help you. It's nothing has to happen right now. There's no impending finish line that you're nineteen. Like Parker said, you got a lot of time, So pump the brakes, Let a little time go by. The Other thing that's in play here, I think is you're going into basic training, and so you're feeling this desperate feeling of taking care of stuff

at home. So that in the chance that you're going to have to be relocated and go to you know, Fort Bliss or Fort Hood or Fort Carson, and you're going to move around or maybe deployed and you're going to be in Germany or Afghanistan if we have to go back there next year. You're feeling this thought of Manet, what if I get sent off to go to Germany and I have to live there for sixteen months and a lot of my buddies are married and I don't have anything, Then I'm lost, and I just lost all

this time. But I got this girl, and she's actually pretty good. And I know we're broken up, but if I could just marry her, I could wrap that up, and then she could. I think you're trying to tie the knot just to take care of business at home because you've got this impending career thing about to happen. There's a lot of uncertainty of going into the military, going into basic. You don't know what your next five

years are going to look like. Really, But I'm gonna sit here and tell you on this podcast that that's a great thing to go into that as a single nineteen year old man. No strings, no commitments, no babies in the cradle at home, no child support, no bills you got to pay, no long distance FaceTime. When enter the WiFi is super slow and you're in the middle of nowhere, you don't have to worry about any of that.

It's just you. So this is a time to focus on you to develop, you to learn, like Parker said, to be content with you and your singleness and focus on doing what you want to do in a military. You didn't say what, Branch, so I can't say what. You can't speculate to what you might be doing. But now is the time to really you're going to hone in your skills on what the next part of your life is going to look like, and you are free

to do that. So here's the difference. The last time, the last question, she's wondering for if she could have an exit plan to the marriage, and I'm screaming saying no, you can't. But to you, Josh, I'm screaming at you saying you're not in it yet, so stay single. You see the difference, like, don't rush into this or I'm going to be talking to you in fifteen years and

saying the same thing back to you. You rushed into this marriage because you thought you liked you thought you loved her, and then you got depressed, and then you went into basic and then so you're going ahead and married her. Then you guys had a kid and now he's eight years old and now you're wife. Don't talk to you anymore and you're about to go in your third deployment. It's a mess. It's a mess. It's funny

because it's not funny, but there's not. So another question in here that the subject line is military marriage is hard. Look I look at it right now. Literally, the military marriage is hard is one of the questions on here. And so I'm going, I'm going back to you, Josh

and going don't be one of those statistics. And I appreciate you emailing Yeah, it's it's it is hard, and it's easy to have a misconstrued idea of It's like, what is the gravity of standing up before your friends and family and God and making a binding agreement with each other that you will be together till death do

you part? That's a big deal. And I think that our society gets so caught up in culture telling us, like I said, that we're incomplete without it and that we have to do it, and then we get caught up in our feelings and don't use our brain instead of asking ourselves from the very beginning, what am I looking for in a wife? Do I understand what marriage is and the amount of work that it takes? Or is it just going to be, you know, dinners and cleaning and just easy stuff all the time, Like people

just think it's going to be some fantasy. Well, here's how we could help. Let me read this next question. We'll go right from Josh right into the next question. And maybe this next question I don't know what it's about to say, but maybe it will help Josh answer his questions better than I can. It says, Hey, Grangeer, my name is chargeant Ship Thomas J and I want to say, like everyone else, thank you for your music. It has saved me a few times, and thank you

for that. I was so happy to be there for your first concert last year in July. The real reason I'm messaging you is this. My wife and I are both in the United States Army. In the last six almost seven months, we've been apart, and in mid July we'll be seeing each other for the first time. We have been fighting will mostly arguing a lot, and she brought up us just being different people and what if we're no longer happy with each other. This hurts a lot and I'm not sure how to go about this.

Any advice from you would be very helpful. Thank you for your music and the support of your of the Arms Forces. Man, thank you, sergeantship, and thank you for your service, just like I said to Josh, thank you for thank you for volunteering in this crazy time, and and and then going through this with your wife who and hopefully I'm hoping that Thomas, I hope that this this is going to also help Josh. That's my goal

that you are helping someone else through your email. And my answer would be completely different because now a different situation. You're married. His wife's name is Amber, by the way, so we should we have that in common. So Parker Amber, his Amber has told him, through a lot of fighting and a lot of arguing, she has told him we are different people and we are no longer happy with each other. And then Thomas says, this hurts a lot,

and I'm not sure how to go about it. Yeah, I'll answer the best I can as a non married twenty eight year old, But I would just say, from the experience that I've had with my married friends and some of my divorce friends, I think a lot of people in the world just kind of like I said earlier, have a misconstrued idea of what marriage is, and that the gravity of bringing two people together for life and all of the challenges that come with it, and exactly

how hard it is. And people always think that I just they'll say, and I just don't know how compatible we are, or I just feel like we're different. Like he said, It's like, yeah, we are. You're two different people that live in a sinful world, right that are spending seven months apart. There's always going to be somebody out there that's more compatible for you. There's always going to be somebody out there that has more in common

with you. You're two completely different souls trying to do this thing called life together, and there's always going to be somebody out there that's more compatible. And so it's even when you don't feel like it, even when those feelings fade at the end of the day, think that it comes down to making the choice to stay together and make the most of it and do the best you can for the sake of the binding agreement that you made. Would you agree, I totally agree. This is

another mind over heart. I think we tend to think with our hearts, and God gave us a brain to think with our brains. In fact, the Bible says so many times that the heart is wicked. But today's culture wants to say follow your heart, listen to your heart, follow it. No, guys, stop listening to your heart. You got to use your brains. And this is a situation where exactly what Parker's saying, I totally agree that you're going to have to look her in the eye. Communication

is going to be key here. You look her in the eye and say, babe, I think you're right us being two different people and no longer happy. But happiness, unlike joy, Happiness is a choice that you make. Happiness is something that you go. You know what, we're not happy. So let's dive into this and let's decide that we are going to be happy. Let's find our common ground, let's listen more, let's compromise more. And you could also say that you guys have been apart for the last

six seven months. That's a strain on your marriage. So you're going through a rough patch, you're going through a valley right now. But it's not always. You're not always going to be six or seven months apart. This is this is a season and you're gonna make it through. So be patient through this season and find contentment and find find gratitude and lower your expectations. So it's like I was saying with Chad a couple weeks ago on

this podcast, lower your expectations and raise your gratitude. I want everyone to understand that I want you to have high expectations for your life and your love, in your marriage and your relationships, and your kids and your jobs. I want you to have high expectations. So don't get me wrong, but I want you to have higher gratitude. And if you have to lower your expectations a little bit in order to make that gratitude pass it, then you gotta do what you gotta do. And so right

now you're going to go. You know what, babe, I don't expect us to have great little frivolous conversations on the phone or FaceTime or however you guys are talking every day. I expect for me personally, I'm speaking for myself when I like today, I'm coming off of two early morning flights. I flew yesterday. I had an early flight to Idaho from Texas. I went hit the ground running. We did meet and greets. Chris and I did two hundred and ten meet and greets. We went right to

the stage. I went right to bed, and then I had a five o'clock alarm and got an early flight. I'm back here in Texas. I know that when I do something like this that I'm gonna be a little short tempered. My fuse is a little short, and I have to recognize that I'm not gonna be my best version of myself. So if I start arguing right now with my wife, I'm gonna have to quickly recognize I'm sorry, babe, I just haven't as much sleep. I'm not myself. I

need some good sleep. So you guys need a good sleep in your marriage, per se, going through a tough six or seven months that you just got to get through the season, and then you reevaluate once you're back home, once you're stable again. Maybe a couple of kids are in the mix. But you guys are both out of the army, and then you're gonna be in a different place. It sounds like you might need a Caribbean vacation. Go take a cruise. Now, don't do that. Everyone's saying, don't

do that. Now. Go to an island somewhere and get on a beach and spend some of that army money and relax a little bit and just understand each other. So when she wants to come at you arguing, what if you agreed with her? Got to put away the pride, put away all this, all the desire to win and just to been Like she's like, you know, you're a punk, and you just go, yeah, here, you're right, Like instantly, that shuts it down. She can't go after you again,

She can't go I mean, you're really a punk. Yeah, you're right. I haven't been the I haven't been there like you deserve. You deserve me to be there. You deserve the best version of me. And I haven't been that. I've been bogged down with work, I've been missing you, I've been busy, I've been lacking sleep. This is a crazy time, guys, with everything that's been going on with the world and everything's going on in the military. This

it's just a crazy time. You're in a season that will pass, and so look at it like that, it's a season that's going to pass. In this happiness that you're talking about, you don't have. You're acting like we're no longer happy, and then that's final, Like that's the end. We're no longer happy. Close the book. No, it's just a season. You could regain that happiness when you choose to. And you are, like you said, you guys are two

different people. Now that's okay, it's not bad. You don't expect when you get married at eighteen or nineteen, don't expect to be the same person that you married when you're age twenty eight or thirty eight. My wife's not the same. She's not the same girl I'm married, and I thank god that she's not. I don't want to be married to twenty seven year old Amber. I want to be married to the thirty eight year old Amber because I don't have anything in common anymore with the

twenty seven year old Amber like I used to. So thank god she's not the same, and thank god i'm not, and thank god we can evolve through that. But you guys are gonna be okay. And you got you, you got your you got your priority straight because you're worried about it, and that's good. So that's my advice. I'm gonna have another one, Parker. Sure. I feel like I've been yelling for three questions. Now here's the one that says, please help my girlfriend broke up with me. I don't

think I'm gonna read that one. No, I think we're kind of covered that I'm picking and choosing. Now, Okay, how this seems like it's completely different, says hey grader. My name is Brody. I'm from Kentucky. Shout out to Kentucky. Lately, my parents have been wanting me to go back to high school for the experience. Right now, I'm homeschooled, but they want me to go back and experience all sorts of stuff. I have major anxiety, so I really don't want to know. I really don't want to know how

I excuse me. So I really don't know how I feel about it. And I want to go back, and I want to meet all the friends and all that sorts of stuff. But I don't know right now if high school is right for me. Is he saying how old he is? No? So high school age, Brody from Kentucky. He's homeschooled. This is an easy one for me for its parents want him to go back because they want him to experience all sorts of stuff. They're probably seeing Brody the they're probably seeing in you. This goes back

to trust your parents, honor your parents. They're probably seeing something in you since they live with you, that they're wanting to expand your vocabulary of the world a little bit. They're probably seeing, Oh, Brody's getting a little too comfortable at home, and that's evident by you having anxiety about going back to high school. So first of all, let me just start by saying, I'm one hundred percent with your parents that you need to go back to high school.

Why because of the way you're emailing me saying you have anxiety, Because then I would say to you, Brody, and I'm always speaking this podcast as though we're buddies. Brody, I'm talking as we're buddies sitting around a campfire. I would say, bro what's going to happen if you have anxiety about going to high school? What's going to happen

after that? What's going to happen in a job, What's going to happen in a relationship, What's going to happen when you have to do anything else outside of mom and Dad's house. That's what they're seeing in this that's what they're wanting you to experience. So I think this goes back to Parker do hard things. Always Remember, remember we talked about this a lot Parker at one point,

like a year ago. Always in life, when you have a fork in the road, choose the harder path, because every time you choose the harder path, and then you choose another harder path and another harder path, you're separating yourself from the rest of the world. If you slowly choose hard things, I'm not saying the most difficult decision of your life. Make that every time. I'm saying, lean into your anxiety and the hard things, and it will come back and pay so much tenfold for you. Yeah,

gotta get out of the comfort zone. Do hard things live an easy life? Do easy things live a hard life? That's what Tyler said, right, say that again, slowly, slowly for anyone taking notes. Wow, if you're taking notes on this, that'll be a lot of people take notes to your podcast these days. I guess, all right, get your pen out. Do hard things live an easy life? Do easy things live a hard life? That's the play on words. That's it.

There doesn't brody. There doesn't need to be anything else said besides that, Do hard things live an easy life? Do easy things live a hard life? You stay at home with mom and dad, you're gonna have a hard life.

I promise you that anxiety grows from a little baby to a huge dragon, one step at a time, one day at a time of you staying in your comfort zone, and then one day that anxiety is going to be so big and your social anxiety and your depression and your inability to get out of your comfort zone is going to be so big that it's going to be really hard to function. So every time you feel that little fear, to see that as a step to boom. I'm going to step into that and I'm going to

do it. Yeah, it's a great point. Every time I feel that little twinge of anxiety, that's a sign that's exactly what I need to do. That's a great point. How do you know you're on the right path? If you have that little butterfly in your stomach, then you're you're on the right path. So let me help your brody. Let me help you with a concrete plan of how to go back to high school. You wake up, brush your teeth, put on your clothes, put on your shoes, get in the car, and go to show up. Show up,

lean into it, show up. You don't have to you don't have to have some big elaborate plan. You don't have to join the football team at day one and fill your schedule. You literally show up. I'm sure you can attest to this. Some of the most nerves that you've ever had, from being a seventeen year old getting on a stage for a first time to being where you are now in some of the biggest areas of your life, some of the biggest moments of your life.

When that anxiety is so high and you're so nervous, that's usually when you feel the most accomplished afterwards, after you step into it. Absolutely and that's where you see the most growth. And you know what I do when I'm really nervous and I'm going on a stage or I'm doing a TV show and I'm really nervous, really nervous, you know what I always do. The first thing I say to the crowd is I acknowledge that I'm nervous.

I did that in that sermon in Indiana. I made sure that I walked up and then one of the first things I said on my first sermon at the church was, Wow, I'm really nervous right now. And Brodie, you could do the same thing. You could go and the teacher could say, hey, how are you doing, Brodie, tell me a little bit about yourself, and you go, well, I'm actually pretty nervous. I'm a homeschool kid. This is

new to me and I'm nervous. And opening up that kind of vulnerability just makes people's heart go out to you. They're just like that. That teacher would be like, well, let me help you, let me show you around, let me introduce you to two people. They take you under your wing. It's instead of trying to cover it up, just straight up tell them I'm nervous, and you will do well. Brody email back. I want to I see what happens to you, and I want to hear a

report back. But I appreciate you email and shout out to Kentucky. I appreciate all you guys so much. I want to say again, please. This is episode ninety nine. Stay tuned for episode one hundred next Monday. We put these out every single Monday morning, somewhere around six thirty am Central time. We're trying to hit everybody so that you could commute to work with it, or ride with it in the truck or whatever you're doing. Listening to this podcast. I just I appreciate being up in your

ear on Mondays, so stay tuned next week episode. If you're listening on Apple, leave a review. It would help them out a lot. Yep. On the charts, yep, leave a review if you're enjoying it. If you want to hear more, Parker EEE podcast launches every Wednesday, and you pretty much are on that every single Wednesday. Yep. Yeah, we got the EEE podcast talking everything outdoors, the office, kind of behind the scenes stuff and don't take ourselves

too seriously. You may get a couple of laughs over there. That's Wednesday mornings. Cool. See you guy, Ye thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me

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