Sometimes you gotta pump the breaks...

If you're on YouTube, thank you for listening on Spotify, Apple Music, any other podcast app that you might be coming from. Thank you for making this constantly one of the top podcast in all of music. It's it's been fun. My favorite guest here, Parker Smith repeat from last week. Thank you for coming, dude, Thanks for having me. Parker is thirteen years younger than me, and we have known

like three Parkers in my life. One I knew the toddler Parker, like the little kid, and then I moved away and went to college, and by the time I saw him again besides Christmas and Thanksgiving, he was already a high school Parker, and then high school Parker. We kind of separated a little bit, and then he became adult Parker and now we work together. So that's the three versions. You know, sometimes I missed the little kid Parker. What version will we get next? I wonder? No, man,

this is it two adults. We're thirteen years apart. So when we were younger, we just felt worlds apart a lot of times. But now it feels it doesn't feel like there's an age difference, besides the fact that I've been married longer. Yeah, and I just show you how to format your Instagram posts true. True. The way that we run this podcast, guys, is you email me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I'll check your email, ask me a question, and then we'll answer the question. Like

we're just sitting around a campfire you're shooting. Hey, can I ask you a question? It's about a relationship, or about my boss, or about a new job I want to try, or we want to move, or it could be about anything, and Parker and I will walk through it. Parker is also the CEO of Yegee Apparel, our brother apparel line. My middle brother, Tyler is my manager, my business excuse me, my music manager, and he's also co owner of Ygee with me, so we work together. What

is going on at ee Apparel. It's been crazy after the fall lunch. You guys are finally catching up after that. Yeah, we're getting ready for a big push heading into the end of the year. Finally caught up on orders at this point by the time you're listening to this, and so you should get your order fairly quickly if you

ordered today. And then we have some cool We have actually the biggest thing that we've ever done, releasing on Black Friday, which is Project X, and we will be teasing that sometime in November, and that is going to be extremely exciting day for ee Are you excited? Yeah? Man, this has been in the works for a long time, so much research, so much field trials to make sure this is exactly right Project X, and you guys talk about it. We have another podcast called the Eegee Podcast.

It comes out on Wednesdays. You're on almost every episode of that, right, Yes, so that's with Hayden and Parker. I'm not on it that I'm maybe once a month Hayden invites me. But you guys have talked about Project X. I just retweeted something you guys, a little clip you

put from that podcast, but I'm so pumped about that. Hey, I got to ask you, what if someone listening now wants to work at the ee farm for you, if they are local in the Austin area and they can work more than twenty hours a week, then email store at yeapparel dot com with your resume and we'll go through them and we may be able to use you. Great.

Let's get to this first question here. It comes from a girl named Amber, a name I'm very familiar with, says Hey, Granger, how would you feel about a man that your wife and you met together at the same time sending your wife a friend request and not you. This happened to me recently. A woman that my husband and I met at a dinner party sent my husband a friend request but not me. I thought this was strange, and my husband said that he didn't want to accept

the request until she sent me one. I don't want to blow the situation out of proportion, but it gave me a weird feeling. What are your thoughts. It's interesting. Yeah, that's very specific and a little uneasiness, maybe a little insecurity. Not to say that's not a strange situation. She was probably pretty probably maybe a little intimidated by her. Nothing against your amber. I think it's a valid question. And

let me say it this way. You can't control anything that happens outside of your marriage to you, guys, all you can control is how you and your husband react to it. So, yes, it's at one level, it's weird. It's weird that you would get at friend request, that he would get a friend request, not you. But on another level, it's almost like, well, the world's gonna do

what the world's going to do. You didn't know this guy or this girl, and you can't really trust someone that you don't know for just from one time meeting at a dinner party, And so I think you're you're valid and being uneasy about it. But it's not that big a deal if your husband just ignores it. Yeah. Yeah, at the end of the day, it's like she probably has a crush on your husband, so what So yeah, it shouldn't affect anything. Yeah, and that's a conversation between

you and your husband. And I don't think you're wrong and telling your husband don't accept it, that's weird. I don't think you're being a crazy jealous wife. I don't think you're being out of line. I think he would probably do the same thing right back to you. It's no big deal. It's weird that it happened, but move on. Ignore it. And it's it's uncalled for, it's it's a it's unnatural, man. I got I got a lot of questions for you, Parker that I kind of set aside.

And oh, this is interesting, this is an interesting one. I want to read this to you. I've been holding onto this since September. It says the subject line is ye Ye quote faith family outdoors. That's something we say a lot at EE a perils family outdoors. It says, I've noticed faith family outdoors on your EE apparel, but I haven't noticed faith as a part of YEE. Yes, we see Granger sharing as faith regularly and occasionally Parker and Tyler, but not YEE itself. Faith doesn't seem to

be a part of the company as a whole. I purchased YEE in the past, and I would purchase more and be more interested if faith were more prevalent. I get that you have a dedicated fan base who likes the outdoors redneck country lifestyle represented by the company. If but and you want to cater to that, but using faith as part of the tagline seems tacky and unnecessary if the company itself isn't going to actually represent Christian values or share the Gospel in any way through the brand.

I thought that just blew me away when I read that. It blew me away because I want to ask, what what do you think, ye yee? Is it is us? It is me Parker and Tyler. We're the ones that started it. And if we're the ones sharing the gospel and sharing our faith all the time, then what do you want from yee that we are? Ye? Right? Isn't that kind of what you think? Yeah? I agree. I remember.

I remember having a conversation with our team when when I first decided to make our tagline Faith Family Outdoors, And I remember having conversation with a gal who goes, are you sure you want that to be in our bio of ye apparel? Because that faith could turn some

people away? Having a conversation with a guy internally, and I was like, yes, one hundred percent, and he goes, okay, also that that faith doesn't necessarily align with some of the things that we're posting right now, And that was a big wake up call to me to be like, Okay,

well it should. So if you look at our page two years ago versus what we're posting today, there is a stone difference of the type of content that we're promoting that was I mean before it was really promoting drunkenness and uh and a lot of cussing and things that were not you know, necessarily rooted in a company that is going to use the tagline of faith. And so yeah, I think that we do a good job of representing that on our personal pages and on the

EE platform. Now, yeah, to to this emailer, I would ask you to just give us a little bit of grace. I mean, is it really does Is it really necessary to come forth with this this harsh, harsh of a judgment to say I would support you if you started, if you started acting more on your faith and and it's tacky and unnecessary to say it with that, I would just say, hey, he well, pump the brakes a little bit. I mean, do you not fall There has been a big change in the Three Brothers over the

last two years. Another question I get constantly is a question along the lines where of hey, don't you think that you singing earl debbils. Singing about getting drunk is not representing the faith that you talk about. And I'm just there's that's such a loaded question because I'm like, man, that was in twenty eleven. It's a very very different.

It's it's also a very valid question because I asked myself that question too when I whenever I would consider myself a born again radical follower of Christ, I remember texting you and saying, I don't see any other way to follow Christ than to become basically a pastor. At this point, I need to stop everything. I need to quit everything. And the only thing that I do is go to seminary and start my own plant, my own church. And it's like so and so for the people ask

you that, it's like grandeur. The only thing you literally need to be singing is is gospel and worship every single song. You need to stop your career and halt it. Ye apparel needs to stop. Every post and every single post needs to be sharing the gospel. And it's like, I just think that there's ways to I think that there's ways to grow where we're planted, where Christ finds us, so that we can promote the gospel to his glory in the best way we know through what we're doing,

not necessarily quitting everything and opening a church. Right. But I mean, my transformation happened, you know, even since the latest album. You know, because the latest album was done and wrapped up before the crazy transformation happened to me. So yeah, we think about it all the time. If you go to my concert. Now, here's a good example. You go to my concert now, Earl Dibbles Junior. The bridge of the countrybou song is getting country junk in the back of my truck. The night is young gonna

get messed up. That's the bridge and has been over the years a really big moment of the show. I stopped it. I don't do that anymore because I felt convicted about it. So now that part, instead of that line, I changed it to wherever city we are, I'll say it's in Nebraska celebration we are Ye Ye Nation. It's in Nebraska celebration, we are ye Nation. So I change it to wherever we are and that's the new line. So so there's like little things that we shave off

here and there, but man, we're working on it. Please please do the email or pump your breaks a little bit and give us a little bit of grace. You sound like you got a lot figured out, and I wish I wish I was more like you, and I'm working on it. I'll say that. Here's a quick one. I just went right to it. It It says, dear Granger, please tell me what are your thoughts on race mixing and racial integration. I was a little surprised by that. But man, good, good with it, that's my answer. Oh,

good with it. I don't know because because of the question, I don't know where you're leaning with that are what you're needing out of me? But man, see, I wouldn't bat an eye at it. I wouldn't think twice about it. So that's my answer. Yep, I agreed. Family issues, Hey Granger, I'm Charles Holly. I'm thirteen, and I have a problem. So for a while, my dad's brothers have been sucking

up to his mom for money instead of working. My dad is very mad at his brothers and does not want to confront his mom because she has been through cancer several times. So I would love your advice. Please reply if you're going to put this on the podcast, in which episode God bless Charles, Holly, dad is Dad's brother has been sucking up the mom for money instead of working, and Dad's very mad. But he doesn't confront mom. But does he confront the brother. That's where he needs

to do. He doesn't need to confront mom. I get that, But does he confront the brother. That's Hey, Charles, this is this is between your dad and his brothers. You're thirteen. I appreciate your concern, but this is this is on your dad. We have to at some level be men of integrity, and Dad, Charles is watching. You do the right thing. If it's not a big deal, if you don't care that much, then don't worry about it. If you don't worry that mom's given your brother money, don't

worry about it. If you do care that much about it, go to your brother and say, hey, we need to talk. We need to talk. You're taking advantage of mom. She's been through cancer. She can't keep doing this. But there's one of these in so many families, there's this kind of situation happens a lot. Communication. Thanks, Charles, you want to read a couple of these to you. Some subject clients know where to go. Man, we're kind of rocking

some questions right now, we're moving faster than we normally do. Yeah, how about this one for first one on the list? Now it says help please read pornography. It doesn't say read pornography. It says in parentheses, please help read. And then hey Granger. First of all, just want to say thanks for doing this podcast and making your music. My name is Tim. I'm fifteen, and I have an older brother who's seventeen, who's addicted to pornography. Our parents don't

know about this. My question is should I tell our parents about his pornography problem. You also should know that my older brother has a big anger problem, and one of my fears is that if I tell our parents, he's going to beat me up physically. I've been praying for my brother since I found out. I'm just not sure if it's my place to tell our parents about his pornography problem. Also, if I were to tell our parents, how would I go about doing it? I appreciate your thoughts.

This is Tim from Idaho. Thank you, Tim shout out to Idaho, appreciate you. Listen. Brother, that's two a young teen in a row that we read here and both of the questions what we could what the analogy between the thirteen year old and the fifteen year old is they're both worried about someone else in the family that's not theirs problem. These questions are hard. Did you think I was going to give you a bunch of easy

ones for that? Yes, honestly, because it's one question. It's one thing to be addicted to pornography yourself and to be seeking ways to be freed from that. It's another situation when you add in these complications of is it my place to speak up for someone that I love for what I know is ultimately going to be right for them, even if it's at the expense of potentially some type of physical abuse. I mean, that's just I

don't know. Yeah, I hear you so so, Tim, you being afraid of your big brother for you calling him out and he beats you up physically. That's like a different issue. So that's something else that we probably should talk about. That's probably a higher priority than your brother's addiction, because this is what affects you directly, Tim, is the possibility of you getting beaten up. I'm assuming this has

happened before, otherwise you wouldn't have said it. That way, you would have said you were scared that he might, but you're scared that he is. So go to your parents with that right, Like go to your parents with that first, Like, Hey, I'm afraid of my older brother that he might beat me up physically. Can we talk about this as a family, because I don't want to live in the house where I'm afraid. That's a great question for mom and dad. And once again, this is

just like the last question. This goes back to mom and dad being parents full of integrity that have a household that when you come home from school, any kid that's listening you should you should come home from school to a safe place. When you walk in your house, you're safe from physical abuse, you're safe from name calling, you're safe from verbal abuse of any kind. That's how. It's not always like that, but that's how it should be.

So parents should should always be aware that they have a safe place you come home because the world is crazy. You're going to see crazy things at school and at work, but when you come home through our doors, you could relax because this is a safe spot. That's what as a parent, that's what you want your kids to feel. So Tim go to them with that. And as far as the pornography, you love your brother, I think that's great,

but there's there's other issues right now. And I would I would take all that energy that you're you're you're throwing out to want to fix your brother and turn that that energy back to yourself and your own life and go, what is it that I'm doing that I could clean up a little bit? You know, like the kid that we read, you know, was it last week about the coffee? You know, how how do I stop

being addicted to coffee? And he's fourteen years old? You know that is there something going on with you, Tim that you could help clean up in your own life and and be that, be that example where your your older brother goes, Man, my brother Tim is just a rock solid kid. He's that guy's has got it figured out. And I don't that's a much better example than you two years younger, going you shouldn't do that. I mean,

who are you to tell him that? Right? Yeah? I actually I think that you sum that up fairly well. And and I wanted to ask you. I think that there's a lot of guys out there. This is a subject that not a lot of guys like to talk about openly, and there's probably a lot of guys out there who are wondering what steps that they can take to free themselves from the addiction of pornography that has

gotten so popular. I am so accessible and so accessible, and I remember growing up not knowing one guy who did not watch pornography, like from middle school on every and it was so normalized and it's continued to be normalized and accessible. Would you have any advice for guys who are are addicted to it at this point, or maybe just explain some of the dangers of it for some people who don't think who it's so normalized that they don't understand the dangers of it. There's two levels.

There's two levels to that question. And on one level, you could say, because God doesn't want you to, you know, And I think so many times when we're when we're teaching, like our kids, you shouldn't lie, you shouldn't you shouldn't steal. Why, Well, ultimately we want to tell our kids because God says not to, you should honor your parents. Why because God says to it's right here, let me show you the verse.

Let me show you the verse. And so at some level with this, it's like, well, let me show you the verse. So when people hear you say that though that they're going to say, well, God doesn't say not to watch pornography. Well, there's no verse that says that, Yeah, absolutely, but he's gonna say that you you have to flee from any kind of sexual immorality and any kind of sexual temptation. And that's exactly what that is. So that's

one level. The second level is just the mental addiction of it and the and the damage that it does. One of okay, you could start with. One of the levels of damage that it does is it will degrade your perception of women and it's gonna it's gonna really, it's gonna really hurt the image you have of the next girlfriend that you have when you're nineteen years old. And so it's here we go back to the cookie

jar thing. You know, what is it that's triggering this, Why are you going to it and how are you getting to it? And let's get the cookie jar out of the kitchen. If you're on a diet, you don't want to walk past the cookie driver day. Get it out of the kitchen. So we can start with that. Yeah, I think it has a lot to do with at the root what John Piper says and what he calls his Christian hedonism, which is he says, Okay, what's the

definition of hedonism? A pleasure filled life? And so he was the one who really started this movement of Christian hedonism. And it's like, Okay, we have a God, and we know that through following Christ, we will have trial and we will have suffering, but at the same time, we know that that is the only place that we can find the joy and fulfillment that our souls long for.

And so when you're when you're searching through you know, pornography or alcohol or drugs, you're saying, I don't trust you. I will figure out how to fill that void myself through these this the dopamine trickle in my brain that comes from doing these short term things. And you're saying, I do not I don't trust your your ability to

give me fulfillment and peace. And so I think it's just an honest conversation with yourself at that point, saying that I've been trying to rely upon myself rather than God for the fulfillment that my soul needs. Yeah, so what do you do. And I think an easy answer to that, the quick answer is what we say, seek

wise counsel. So you go to a friend, you go to a friend that you could trust, you know is a good guy, and you say, can I tell you something that's I'm really embarrassed to say this, but I can I tell you man, I can't stop looking at porn. Can you help me? Man? Can you help keep me account I mean, once again, it has to be someone that you trust, or maybe it's someone that has the same problem. You both want to work together. But if you keep each other accountable, it's amazing what that could

do in your life. And you could literally if you open it up. And now it's an embarrassing topic, but if you just open it up and you just say, hey, I'm going to call you every morning and say how'd you do yesterday? And so when you get that urge you want to open your phone and go see something, and you think, oh, I got to talk to my buddy tomorrow on the phone, and I want to clean slate. I want to tell them I didn't do it, or you got to be honest and tell them you did.

But human accountability is a big deal when it comes to something like this. I know that's not what you're asking, Tim, and I know that we gave you a lot of stuff here, but I appreciate you emailing it, and I appreciate you listening, and I appreciate you caring about stuff that matters like this, and I hope you get some of this stuff ironed out. I love Idaho too, so hope to see you next time we come. Parker. Let's take a break. We'll be right back. Guys. This podcast

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simply visit Athleticgreens dot com. Slash Granger and get your free year supply of Vitamin D and five free travel packs today. Back to the podcast. Are you wom going to hit you with some easy ones? I'm not gonna do that. I'm going to keep the hard ones going, Parker. That's what this podcast is about. Hitting the hard questions. Here's a good one. Equally Yoked Relationships is the subject. It says, Hey Granger, my name is Audrey. I'm a sophomore in high school and I live in Boise, Idaho.

That's two Idaho is in a row, and that's two. That's three teenagers in a row. Huge fan of your podcast and all that you do to shed the light of Jesus to so many people. I look up to your wisdom and what you do. So thank you. Thank you, Audrey. I appreciate that, says. I've grown up in church and live a Christian life. I have a strong faith in Jesus,

especially in these times. In one of my classes, there is a boy that is not only attractive physically, but he's also very kind to me, and it feels like we've been best friends for years. I've recently felt feelings towards him, but I found out he's a Mormon. I have prayed on what to do in this situation because I feel like half of me is torn and wanting to shed the light of Christianity on him, but the other half of me feels as though it would be wrong to date him because the Bible says to be

equally yoked in your relationships. But if you ever found out my feelings for him, I also feel our friendship would be ruined. Anyways, I'm just kind of stuck. So I guess here's my question. Do I go about this Do I go about this year and just tell him, tell myself to get over him, or do I pursue him? Thank you so much, Audrey, That's an easy one. You know what, I was hearing a lot of feelings I feel, I feel, I feel. I would say that it is normal.

Feelings themselves can be good, But when you're throwing that F word around a lot, then I would just have that red alert check engine, like come on, as just a heads up. We feel a lot of things. Those feelings are real, those feelings of physical attraction are real. And guess what. The majority of the time people feel red hot and love with somebody and they marry them, and then those feelings fade and they feel like they fall out of love with them, and then they get divorced.

That happens most of the time, is people follow their feelings into relationships, the feelings fade and it's like we have to figure out something else to trust other than our feelings. Yeah, so, Audrey, it's a great question, and it's it's probably another common question, not to not to darken it any but but but it's people think about this stuff and and the Bible is full of this this kind of stuff. And so you could go to him and you could say, I need to tell you something.

I'm a Christian, and he's going to say, great, I'm a Christian too. And then you're gonna say, I mean, I mean, I'm an orthodox Christian, like I believe in saved by Grace alone, through faith alone, and Christ alone, as read in the Bible alone, as inspired by God alone. That's what you say, and it's important for you. It's going to be important to you to share the Gospel with him, and who knows, maybe maybe he goes you know what, I want to hear more about this. I

want to hear more about your view. Ninety percent chance that he won't. And people are getting real uncomfortable in this podcast as they're listening right now. But the reality is, Ardrey, you're gonna have to think about Parker said this before on different podcasts, but when you think about and I know you're just a sophomore, but when you think about dating, even as a sophomore, you got to be thinking about dating for marriage. Otherwise it's not worth it. You're not

just dating for fun. You're gonna be dating because ultimately, Audrey, you want to find your future husband, the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, and the person you're God willing going to make babies with. And the last thing you want in raising babies is having an internal conflict with your spouse about where to go to church on Sundays and what to teach them. And it matters now. It matters right now because this kind of stuff leads to really bad relationships, and you

want to catch it now before your heart falls. And like Parker said, the f wort into your feelings. You want to catch it now before you really start liking them a lot, and then you fall in love with him, and then it gets a lot harder to to kind of get all this situated. So I'm just gonna tell you straight up, this is how that that's how it's

gonna happen. And there's there is this you know you want to tell in the gospel because that's you're going to be convicted to do that, and he's going to resist it because that's just not how he was raised. And then at that point, as the Bible says, you're gonna have to shake the dust off of your feet and keep on moving. Yep. Next question, Oh man, we're just right. We're right into another one here, says question about dating before marriage. It's like it just naturally, guys.

I don't. I don't order these questions on this podcast. I promise you is random. Okay, I just not. It would be much easier if he did. It would be easier. One of these days, I should hire a producer that like gets these and writes them out and fixes the spelling errors and like puts it in a nice order. But right now, it's random. And this is why it's crazy, because we're just flowing right into another. One says Hey Granger, this is Logan from Dunville, Ontario. I'm a big fan,

and I have a question about sex and dating. Look at this, Parker, I'm fifteen. Here we go. This is another one a young listener. This is random. This is like a random episode. Guys. I'm fifteen and I'm not dating yet, but I have questions. I know the Bible says not to have sex before marriage, and I don't plan to, but what about other stuff like being naked in front of them and stuff like that. I have read the Bible and found nothing about how far you

can go before marriage. Thanks for your time and I hope you visit Southern Ontario soon. Logan Parker, this got you, This got you all over it. This question. I got this from pastor named Jonathan Piccluda, and he said, shout out to Waco, Texas. If we were on a hike and we were next to a cliff and you came up to me and you said how close do you think I could get to the edge of this cliff? Then I would say, well, do you want to jump off? Because it sounds like you're wanting to get really close.

This is so good and so it's a very defensive question. And if we're looking for ways to shape our lives around the context of the scripture into what we wanted to say. Then it's a dangerous game. And so the body. You know, what the Bible does say is that we're not to have a hint of sexual immorality, not a hint of it. So I don't know about you, but I feel like that's pretty clear. Yeah, being naked in front of someone else that you're not married to is

probably there. Does the Bible say that you should not be naked specifically in bed next to somebody? No, But why if it says that you are not to have sex outside of the covenant of marriage, why would you It would be really hard not to if you were both naked, So why would you even put yourself in that situation? You're making both of your lives much harder.

I put a lot of these clips of these podcasts on TikTok, and do you when you're speaking, do you ever think that this might be a TikTok video of you with some nice music in the background and you're saying this stuff, Because that's what I was just thinking. I was like, this is gonna make a great TikTok. Yeah, now I do, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna move on to man. So many good ones, so many good ones. Here's one. A couple of weeks ago, I was with I think it was with Chad and we read a

question about someone who says they have an angry husband. Well, this was kind of a reply to that, and the subject says I am the angry husband and says, hey, I saw your posts on Facebook talking about the angry husband, and now I'm the one she was talking about. But for some reason, I've been that angry your husband lately. I don't know why, and I don't know what to do to stop it. It's been causing issues lately, from my wife being mad at me, or my two sons

hearing me say things I shouldn't. My two year old keeps repeating me, and I'm just not sure how to calm down and chill out. It's pretty straightforward, man. Thank

you dude. The fact that you emailed this and you just you were so honest, that's pretty great of you, and I think that's what an incredible first step for you to just go out here on this podcast, email me who you don't even know personally, and just lay it all out and admit that you're seeing a problem that could get worse, and then it's having a negative impact on your family. So there's so much to say just for that step right there, and I appreciate it.

And so it's almost like here we go again with an addiction, and we can almost relate it to pornography in a way where I would say, Okay, you need accountability, buddy, someone you could trust, wise counsel that you could trust, someone that has a just a good hearted man of integrity that you could just say, hey, man, I got to tell you I'm dealing with Let's just call it

an addiction, right, Let's call it like it is. Let's call it an addiction, and just say I have an addiction to anger and it's messing up my family and I want to stop it. I want to know, like you said here, how to just calm down and chill out. Can you help me be accountable? Can you call me at ten am every weekday and just say, hey, buddy, how are you doing? How'd you do yesterday? And you could report back and say I did pretty good. There was a time when I slipped up. Another thing we

can go to is what's triggering this? Can you identify what's triggering this anger. Is there something? Is it something simple like lack of sleep that gets to me If I have an early flight and I get up at four am, or I get up at three am and I have to be the airport at four am and I got a five am flight, and then at three pm that day, I'm getting mad at everybody. Yeah, you said the other day. Whenever I'm low on sleep from an early morning flight, I know not to trust myself

for the majority of that day until I have a nap. Yeah, I can't trust myself because you treat you hear in your mind, you go, I just got mad at that guy for not really that big a deal, And five minutes later I got mad at another person for not really that big a deal. What's the common denominator? It's me. Oh, it's me. I should probably shut up today until I take a nap. Like, hey, I'm not saying that your problem is that simple. I hope that is. I hope you can go. Yeah, it's because I get up early

and I'm staying up too late. Maybe it's it's just stress, man. This world is is stressful. Maybe your job, maybe you're dealing with a possible layoff, maybe you're you're seeing all this government stuff and you're you're insecure about your longevity of your job, and you're coming home and your wife ask what kind of noodles you want in your spaghetti, and you're like that, I don't care what I'm having

in my spaghetti. I'm about to lose my job. You don't say it, but you're thinking that is it that? My point is, whatever it is, Can you identify the source of the anger that will help you a lot. Yeah,

I think that's what's most important. And then something that you can do when those things do come up, that's like, what can I like physically do in the moment is I would say to remove yourself from the situation for a moment, and you're always five breasts away from getting back to center clear headedness, do a six second inhale and then a six second exhale five times and watch how your heart rate will slow and you'll go, Okay, I'm in a more emotionally stable state of mind. Now,

so good. I'll tell you one more thing. This is what helps me is some form of journaling. Now, this isn't like a seventeen year old girl writing a diary about her boyfriend. This is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about It could be on your phone. I use an app called day one. What do you do? You got me on Day one? Okay? Super simple? It's an app. I'm not even promoting them for any reason other than it's just easy. But there's a million apps.

You could use the notes on your phone, or you could actually use good old fashioned pen and paper, you know, and make it super simple. So get a routine. Mine's in the morning, maybe yours could be at night. It doesn't matter. Pick a routine and stick with it, and you're Your journal could look like this. It's raining this morning, had a had I worked late last night, got in, got the kids are still sleeping, about to get dressed and go to work. It could be as simple as that.

And then under that, I would encourage you to write a to write a list of three to four things that you're grateful for right now, and and hey, aim low. It could be simple. It could be I'm grateful for sixty five degree weather outside could be super it used to be super hot, or it could be super cold, but it's sixty five. I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for a roof over my head. Could be simple like I'm saying, doesn't have to be I'm grateful because I

got a raise at Worke. Hey aim low. But the the the active discipline of keeping a gratitude journal matters in your brain. It affects you when you start acknowledging your gratefulness in your day and your life. Then it puts a different perspective on your day as you move forward. That's why I like doing again in the morning. But

I think you would see some big changes. If you seek wise counsel, someone keeps you accountable, you identify the triggers of the anger, and you keep a gratitude journal. I think you could start seeing some changes. Let's move to another one here, let's see I have there's a couple of dating ones part. Here's one It says, Hey, grangeer, do you have any thoughts on how long a couple

should date before they start thinking about getting married? I know a difference, it's different between different couples, but there are things. Are there things that I should have experienced before deciding to spend the rest of our lives together? Thanks Brett. You should date as long as it takes to decide that they would be a suitable spouse. Why would you date any longer than that? Drop the next question.

I don't think that there's a set in stone. It would be nice if someone was like you will date for one year in three months, and that is the appropriate amount of time to know if someone is a suitable spouse to marry or not. He says, are there things that we should have experienced before deciding to spend the rest of our lives together? Is there any specific event they should experience together as a couple before he

decides that I don't think. I think that when you find what you're looking for, then there's not specific seasons that you have to see somebody in. You know, if I have a two hundred dollars gift card for Amazon, and I go on Amazon then and I don't have any idea of what I'm gonna buy, then I could get a vacuum, I could get a coffee mug. I could get a new flat screen TV. I could get a bowling ball, like I could get all of these

random things. But if I have a specific list, and I don't know the situation here, but if I have a specific list of the person that I'm looking for. Then as the amount of time that it takes for me to be certain of the characteristics that they have what I'm looking for, then it's like you found what you're looking for, and to bring Christ into it again. I can't answer this question without bringing Christ into it.

If there has never been a divorce in the history of the world of two people who are radically following Jesus Christ. Never in history has there ever been a divorce between two people radically following Jesus Christ. And so I have to say that that is first and foremost what I'm looking for in my spouse, because I want a lasting marriage. And so I don't know about this specific situation, but I would say that you find what you're looking for. There is not a black and white

season that you have to see your spouse. And I could say that the exact thing happened to me and Amber. Both of us, you know, had our share of dating. I met Amber when I was twenty nine years old and she was twenty seven, and I dated her for let's see, I started really started dating her. I met her in February, started dating her in March, March, April, May, June, and I bought her engagement ring in June. That was

four months. So I didn't have that template that you just spoke of of, you know, what'd you say, date until you know that you're meeting the criteria. I didn't think about that. But all I did know was, yeah, she's the one, and I wasn't I'm not talking about like a mystical like there's seven billion people on the planet and she's the one that the stars aligned and like. It wasn't that. It was like, this one is perfect

for me, The Amber's perfect. And I had dated enough to know I felt like maybe that even matter, Maybe the dating didn't even matter. It could just be we just clicked. And so four months go by. We casually dated at the beginning, and then it ramped up, and by four months I was buying a ring, and then I proposed in September, and then we got married in February. So I literally met her and married her one year from the one I met her, was engaged seven months after,

and bought a ring four months after. So I didn't think about any kind of mathematical problem with this. I just it just felt right. And so to you, Brett, we didn't experience any we didn't go to like the Grand Canyon, or we didn't do something that we felt like we needed a certain experience for it to matter. We just just worked and I would I would say, does it fit? Does it work? Go for it? Let's say, let's say one more part. Okay, I have no idea what this was about to say, but the subject line

is why does it seem like nothing goes right for me? Hey, gran Dream. My name is Ella and I'm a freshman in high school. Another another teenager. My question is why does it seem like nothing goes right in my life? I am always working to do my best in school with my grades, but I end up failing. And I try to be the best daughter and sister to my two brothers, but they always act like it doesn't I

don't matter, or doesn't don't exist anymore. I feel like my parents don't love me anymore, and all they care about are my brothers. They make me feel like I'm a burden. I'm just shoving my feelings deep down and not telling anyone what's going on in my head. But after a while I get really depressed and I overthink everything again. How do I make the cycle stop? I want to be happy and I want to do well in school, but my thoughts get in the way. Your

advice would really help me keep doing amazing work. Your podcast really help me. Thank you so Ella, freshman how old? Was a freshman? Fifteen? Yeah? I was fifteen, My freshman fifteen years old? Man, this is like the trifecta of fifteen year olds. Thank you Ella for emailing. Thank you for the kind words about the podcast and listening and telling me that it helps you, because then that that just makes me feel like it matters. I want to

validate your feelings. You're fifteen, and these kind of feelings are normal. You're not different, you're not an outcast. You're having these conflicting thoughts and feelings and that's part of growing. And so let me say this, Ella, You're not gonna have these same kind of conflicting, confusing thoughts when you're twenty five, and you're gonna have less of them when you're thirty five, and even less when you're forty five.

And their problems will change, and you'll have problems, but they will change, and it's not gonna be when I look back at me in high school, when I try to think about the scenarios I was in in high school. I think about myself as a horse with blinders on, and I only saw like this tiny little space in front of me. I didn't know what was going on in my peripherals at all, and I was easily distracted. And but when I returned, the blinders turned with me.

So then I forget where I'm walking and bump into a wall. It's literally that's my high school I have. I have so vague memories of walking those halls. So I hear you, I hear you. What do you What do you tell Ella Parker? Well, it's hard. You have to You have to answer it for who she is, which is a fifteen year old. And I would answer, well when she made fourteen or fifteen, But you know, you'd answer it differently for different people at different stages in life, like you said, And so, I mean, I

think that someone is a freshman in high school. They they need to try to focus on gratitude, try to keep that gratitude a little bit above whatever's going on, and force herself to be grateful and to not follow her feelings even if she's you know, feeling maybe feeling depressed or anxious. I think that how important is it to be surrounded with a good group of friends, to

be involved in something, to stay active. You know, we're not made to walk this path alone, and we're a promise suffering like life is going to be tough and

it's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. But to not not fall into a victim mentality either and think that everybody's out to get her, because that's that's a form of pride as well as someone who is it's very common to think of yourself too much, and then you become self centered and you become miserable because you're thinking of yourself so much and thinking that people are out to get you, and you grow this victim mentality.

So you know, I saw someone say on on TikTok actually the other day talking about self love and how we're supposed to love our learn to love ourself first and then we can love other second, when in reality, we are made to love others first. When we're thinking of ourselves and trying to raise our self esteem ourselves doing it all ourselves, then we get entrapped in this snowball of depression, whereas we're not meant to just slowly,

you know, solely focus on ourselves. We're meant to, you know, to focus on others and figure out rather how much the world is out to get me. How can I provide value for others? How can I go get involved? How can I go help out a friend with their homework or someone who's not getting talked to at the lunch table. And when you start doing those things, then I think that will improve your self love as well.

I want to speak something into you. I want to tell you that you are telling, constantly telling lies to yourself. And I can tell you because I'm reading it. You're you're trying to be the best daughter, and then in your mind you go, but you're not. You're trying to be the best sister. But in your mind you're saying you're not. You're selling. You're telling yourself. My parents don't love me anymore. My brothers think I don't exist anymore. All my parents care about is my brothers. I am

a burden. I have problems with depression, I have problems overthinking. I have problems stuck in a cycle. And you're constantly lying to yourself and they're the biggest problem in your situation, right now is you are lying to yourself about all your surroundings, so unlike me when I was in high school and I have the blinders on. I want you to not be like me. I want you to take the blinders off for a second and just stop lying to yourself. And I say it harshly like that, because

that's the reality is. You need to say, wait a minute, of course, my parents love me. Why would I say my parents don't love me anymore? I'm their one and only daughter. Yes, they love me. Why do I keep telling myself my brothers think I don't exist. I'm clearly right here in the house. Obviously I exist. That is a lie. I want you to also think about your grades. You said, I want to do my best in school in my grades, but I end up failing. That's an

action you could take right now. That's it. That's it. Out of everything you've said, that's that's one of the things you can go. Hold up, Hold up, hold up, okay, let's let's what class that I failed? Why did I fail it? Do I need tutoring? Do I need to get with a buddy that's gonna help me with this subject? Maybe it's math, Maybe it's science, whatever. Let me find a buddy that's gonna help me. I got to get a I gotta start reeling some of this stuff in.

Take accountability for yourself, which is difficult. It's man. If I could have told myself this, I would have been so much better, but that I had the blinders on. So if you could take accountability for yourself and move forward and say, hey, mom and dad, I'm struggling in math, I'm gonna go and get a math tutor, or I'm gonna go and have a wise counsel friend that's gonna help me. And your parents are gonna go Ella. That's amazing,

that's really great. And these little self accountability things you could do for yourself will change everything thing. It will matter, and it's slow increments. Aim low. Don't set too high of expectations for yourself. You're not gonna get val Victorian and be the Homecoming Queen and win the award for best Sister and get the you know, the parents' best daughter award. Stop setting these high expectations and go I'm Ella,

I am who I am. My parents love me, my brothers are they think I'm annoying, But it's normal in our stage right now of life ten years. It's not going to be like that when they're thirty and I'm twenty eight. They're not going to think of me as this annoying fifteen year old. So self accountability, get over it. You're gonna be just fine. Take care of those grades. Go tackle that problem right now. Thank you for emailing.

It matters to me. You matter to me that you emailed. Seriously, if I didn't have people like you coming in and filling me with these kind of questions, then it wouldn't make me think about my own life and want it to take accountability for myself and think about how to write my own ship. So you matter to me. This email is inspiring to me. And this is another one of these where I'd say right back one day and let me know where you are and how it's going.

And we love all you guys for listening, stay in tuned, keeping this podcast at the top list of the charts of music podcast and ironically we didn't even say anything about music today. Yeah, if you don't mind leaving a review on if you listening on Apple podcasts, that would help a lot. Go go drop a review and an honest review. Let us know your thoughts and it would help out Grainger a lot. Love you guys, See you next time. Yigi. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.

I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to an answer, email granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye M.