Welcome back to the show. What we're gonna do here is answer some questions you email us podcast at grangersmith dot com. We answer them like we're riding in the truck together, like we're sitting around a campfire. You say, hey, man, I got this thing it's been going on. Can you help me with it? I got a man with me, producer of the show and one of my best friends.
What's up an Good to see you man, You too, there we I don't know a lot about these questions that people have sent in for today's show, but I do know enough that there is there is a bit of a theme going on. There is, and so we'll see how that unravels.
It's funny, it wasn't on purpose too. I read through these and put them in in what we call an ROS. That's a run a show for uh, for these for you, And I'm not thinking about answering them necessarily when I'm putting them together. I'm thinking about, this'd be a good one to hear from granger on and then I get to stay here and talk to you about them, so I can read them and rethink you know about them.
So yep, So let's see if we can unravel this theme. The first questionnaire comes from Kyle. It says, Hey, Granger, I'll get right into it. My wife and I haven't been getting along lately. She says things like I hate you and go shoot yourself, and that she wants a divorce. Me personally, I don't believe in divorce. I love her with all of my being, but her being so mean takes a toll on me. Usually the day after she says how much she loves me and that she doesn't
want to split up, but it always comes back. We did marriage counseling three sessions and she quit. I ended up going back by myself because I'm trying to better myself. My question is, do you believe it's okay to file for divorce because of the way I'm being treated. I just want what's best for my children. Thank you for your time. Sorry, this is really hard to talk about. Kyle from Ohio. All right, thanks for being vulnerable. Kyle,
appreciate the email. And there's nothing in here that's that's asking if this is biblical or if he's a Christian. Right, So that's a little bit different perspective. Because we're gonna come to this podcast with a biblical worldview. And so Kyle, without you mentioning that some of the stuff I say may not make sense to you, but it's okay, that's okay,
still applies, it still applies. But this is where it gets This is where it gets really wonky with you, Kyle, is I'm gonna I'm gonna look at from from the point of view of you being involved in a church, which really changes the dynamic of this because it's Christians. I can't say this enough on this podcast, and I'll probably say it more on this exact episode. Christians shouldn't go through divorce alone. It's not advised in any way
that you should go through divorce alone. You should do it with your brothers and sisters around you, which is so encouraging. So with that in mind, let's dive into this question. First. First thing on that comes to my mind is you say, Kyle, I just want what's best for my children. But that kind of contradicts a little bit to what he says earlier when he says I don't believe in divorce. I love her with all with all of my being. Okay, So which one do we want here? Which one is it?
Yeah? And he's working on himself.
And he's working on himself, so that we have a little bit of a contradiction. Because if you only want want what's best for your children's that's one direction. If you only you love her with all of your being, that's another, And if you want to work on yourself, that's a third way. My suggestion is, and my encouragement is that if you want what's best for your children,
that is reconciliation in the marriage agreed. Ok, Okay, So you reconciling with the biological mama is better for them then you divorcing and trying to figure out a way to do what's best for them. That's not always the case. That's not always the answer. That's not that's just not that's not a cookie cutter cutter answer because, first of all, most practically a lot of times reconciliation is not possible.
Yeah, sometimes it's not. When I read this email, I read it one way again, you know, for the podcast, but reading it as a response, the first thing I see is she's hurting somewhere and she's lashing out at you. And you know, we just went through we're going through proverbs at church, and one of the biggest things we talked about a couple of weeks ago, the life and death being in the power of your tongue. With the same tongue you give life and the same tongue you
give death. You curse somebody and you give life to somebody. And when you're spewing out stuff that is hateful, like go shoot yourself and I hate you, that's coming from something in your heart that is disturbed. And so there's some hurt with her somewhere. And I don't know if it's in this marriage, if it's for the marriage, or what it is. You know, we assume a lot with these emails because there you know, what is this? You know, seven six lines long, you know, to diagnose an entire
issue with the marriage. But there's something going here. It's not I mean, it is salvageable from what I read. I believe if if you both want it to be. I mean, sometimes you do get to a place where one of you wants it with all your heart and the other one says, I just don't love you and I don't want to be part of this anymore. What do you do then? And maybe that's where we are with this one as well. I come from a divorced family, and I am divorce myself, a biblical divorce. But no
matter what, it's hard. And ultimately, listen, if if it's gonna be hard no matter what, choose the hard one that keeps things together if you can, m because it's gonna be hard either way. You're you're doing one battle that's really hard without a helper anymore. And you might feel like you don't have a helper right now. But if you can salvage and get your helper back in that marriage, it is going to help make things better and it's worth.
The fight for sure. That's a great way to look at it. So it's gonna be hard, Kyle, It's gonna be hard no matter which road you pick right now. It's gonna be hard in the road to restoration, and it's gonna be hard in the road and being a single dad and starting over. Sure, and man saying from experience, since they're both hard, choose the one that's on the road to reconciliation. Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, yeah, sure, if you can. And I say if you can, because some decisions just aren't up to you. Have you done everything that are you in a church? Do you have brothers? See part of mine involved things at a church, and so it makes it it made it hard for me to trust a church, not God, but a church for a long long time. And even so much as we are just now really getting settled in a church that I fully am ready to be plugged into a church. Healthy church, absolutely, and that's very important.
So I mean my first advice is where is just the question of where are you going? Where are you going to church? If you're not well, that's you need to get plugged in somewhere that's a healthy place.
Yeah. Side note another episode, possibly there is a big difference everyone between a healthy church and an unhealthy church. So if you have church hurt, if you look back and you go, I don't like the church because it did this and this, I would say there's a just as there's a difference between an unhealthy doctor or a bad practicing doctor and a good doctor, there is the same thing with a massive of chasm between an unhealthy
church and a healthy church. Now we could do this on another episode and actually walk through what it looks like to be a healthy church, because you might think that you're in one and it actually might not be biblically healthy. We could do this in another episode, but that's a side note to what you're saying. So here's the major problem. Looks like there's a lot of problems, but one of them they did counseling three sessions and
she quit. She left, so he goes back by himself. Now, what do you think, Amy, What do you say to a separation to begin this process?
What do you mean to like start.
To say before we file, we should live separately? What do you think about that?
Man? It's hard to reconcile when you're not together. Okay, I believe, because yeah, I think you know, should you have some alone time? Absolutely? I think separating in one person living in one house and somebody listens living somewhere else. I believe it's like move you're moving towards staying separated versus moving towards staying together.
Unless there's abuse, of course. Yeah, yeah, so that's the caveat Yeah.
Of course. Yeah. If you're being abused, that's a that's a completely different conversation too.
Uh.
And this is some verbal abuse. I mean obviously here, nine times out of ten I would say that that separating some people wake up and go, oh, man, I can't do this by myself. And if if that, you know, that is good for to get that revelation.
But so I think he's asking one specific question. My question is do you believe it's okay to file for divorce because of the way I'm being treated? I just want what's best for my children. That's the question. And I think because there's so many unknowns, we don't get to follow up question. We don't know the situation. We don't know anything, Kyle. I don't even know if this is your first wife or not. I don't know if
it's if these are your children and not hers. It may be some scenarios this is his children from a previous marriage that puts a new spend. So because I don't know anything about this, I really only have one piece of advice, and that is, don't make this decision outside of wise counsel.
Agreed, agreed, and that would you know? I think that that is the answer to this email. It is like that this has to go much deeper. This conversation has to go much deeper with someone that you trust with And if you're going to a counselor what kind of counselor too, make sure they're Bible believing counseling.
And I also and part of what I mean by that, I'm talking about a team, and so I'm not just talking about professional, paid counseling. I'm talking about wise counsel in the aspect of friends, trusted brothers around you. So my answer, Kyle, my direct answer to dude, your question is is it okay to file for divorce because of the way I'm being treated? No without wise counsel. Yes, with wise counsel. So it can go either way. But if you don't have wise counsel, throw this whole question out.
If you do and they advise you need to walk away, then I would say you could trust them in this. She's abandoned you. There's abuse, verbal abuse. If you're with wise counsel and they say no, don't file for divorce, I would trust them on that as well. There's room for reconciliation. But ant man and I don't know enough about it.
Yeah, And I think the next question or the advice would be, is, like or I would ask you, is how does he find that? How does he find that wise counsel if he's not in a church if they didn't grow up in that, how does he go find wise counsel?
Right now, this is something that we should be preparing before we end up in the situation, right This is this is when you know CPR before you have to use it. And so this is why this is reason number eight hundre seventy five whire being involved in a meaningful relationship with a good, solid, healthy Bible teaching church is so important. It is a among other things. It's a tribe.
Yeah, for sure.
It's being in a tribe, which humans for centuries and centuries millennia have been involved in a tribe, even when it's outside of the context of what a Christian church is. We're talking about Native American Indians. We're in tribes and that those tribes. Sorry I have an airplane voice here, I just got off the airplane. So these tribes operated multi generations. They weren't age segregated like we're so quick
in society today to age segregate. Put the youth over here, Put the toddlers in this room, Put the babies here, put the put the nursing mothers here, Put the young adults in this room. Put these seniors over in this room, and we segregate everyone, so no one is learning from each other. And for millennia, humans have learned from each
other without age segregating. So now here we are and we're stuck in these situations where someone goes, I'm going through this big problem, granger, I'm going through this divorce, and I have no one.
To talk to.
That's because our culture has age segregated. You have no wise counsel, you have no tribe. The best we do with tribes sometimes is the youth baseball team that your kid plays for. That's your tribe. Even worse, social media, even worse, your social media is your tribe. So a man, your question is what do you do if you're already in a situation where you don't have your tribe, you don't have your wise counsel, and you need to make a decision now. And to that, I say, this is
doing CPR without ever taking a class. It's very hard. There's not a right or wrong answer to this, but it's very difficult. So if you're listening and you're not in the situation, find your tribe. And I would say, above all, a good Bible believing, healthy church is your tribe. That's that's what they're that's what that's how they function in the many ways that a church functions. It's this, it's your family.
I think that's our responsibility is man too. That's part of leadership and leading your family is wondering what you're supposed to be doing. Well, you know, I don't have an issue right now that that I have to address. What should I be doing? Things like that? Yeah, looking for things where you find your weaknesses. Where are you weak right now? Fill those holes? Fill those gaps for you and your family.
If you want to know who to pick for your wise counsel, you look at their fruits of their life. Yes, for sure, not just because they're easy to talk to. Are there good listeners? Are they're cool people? Or their proximity that their next door neighbors to you look at the fruits of their life and go, hey, brother, it looks like you have We all have mistakes and we all have a track record, but currently it looks like you have. You have your You're on a good solid tree.
You have good fruits coming out from your life. Can you help me with this situation? What do I do and build a tribe in that way? Have you done time. We got it. We let's do another question. Kyle. I hope that's enough for you. Next question from David says, Hello David from Ohio. Me and my fiance are getting married in September. We're both born again Christians and wanted your thoughts on birth control. Should Christians use it? Is it a sin? If we Lord willing have children? I
want to give each child enough attention. That's what I'm getting at, He says, thank you. Love to listen to the podcast when I'm on the road as a trucker. God bless all right, David, it's a good question. Then we should be thinking through these things. My first answer is, have your try, have your wise counsel around you. These are great questions.
We changed the name of the podcast to wise Counsel.
Yeah, Granger Smith and the Wise Counsel. It's like the band name. And by the way, I'm not really considered wise counsel because I'm not with these people. I don't know you. So my encouragement is to direct you towards what.
Really is why this shouldn't be the sole help.
This is not the council. But David, I think it's a great question and we should be We should be thinking through all these things. You say you're a born
again Christian, and that's great. This is a this is a form of your sanctification that's weighing on you on theological things, things that matter in life, Having children, planning for children matters, and so you should be questioning everything, not just because that's the way it's done on social media, not because that's the way mom and dad did it. But am I thinking through this from a biblical worldview?
So the you know, the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps, the Bible says, So that doesn't mean that we don't plan just because the Lord establishes steps. Or you could say another proverb, the horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord. That doesn't mean because the victory belongs to the Lord. And because he establishes our steps doesn't mean we don't plan our way, And it doesn't mean we don't prepare the horse for the
day of battle. So if you're planning on having children, great, If you plan on separating it out due to finances or which I think is a great point, you make giving enough attention to each child. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but you're also not The victory is not up to you, and the steps that you take is ultimately not up to you. If you're giving all that up to a sovereign God and going Lord. If it was up to me, I would have children
staggered every two years. But Lord is not up to me. So I'm gonna plan like it is up to me. But I'm gonna all always know and acknowledge you are behind all of it, in your sovereignty, in your purpose. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And so when it comes to birth control, I don't think there's anything wrong. And there would be a gray line if I started to name different kinds of contraceptives, there would be a gray line on what is biblical or not.
For instance, the Catholics have long practiced the I don't know the word. What's the feminine calendar? You know when girls have a cycle, sure, and they have a calendar. I don't know what the name is Catholics. Catholics know this that there's a calendar and the woman's cycle is on the calendar, and they could literally say we're safe to have intercourse during these days and these days. This is because Catholics essentially, hey forgive me, I don't know
a lot about this, but they don't believe in contraceptive, right. So, but in following the calendar, that is a contra that is, it is a form of s. That's where I'm talking about the gray line is. So we're talking about condoms here, we're talking about following a calendar. I think there's a gray line. Now, you're a lot less likely with the condom, with that contraceptive than you are with an accident with the calendar. But but it's still a gray line here.
Here's where I'm gonna draw This is where this is where I draw the line. The line is the what do you call it? A border fashions? What do you call that? What's that word that? The there's pills that are that are cell killing plan B a border of fashions? I think so something like that after you.
After you would have sex, you would take a pill to basically kill whatever may have happened here.
Yeah, So that that's where there's a hard line there For me. I'm not gonna come down on you and say, hey, you and your wife in your in your practical planning, should never use this form of contraception unless it is a board of fashion. I think that's the word. I'm sorry, I don't know, but this is a cell killing poison. I say, do not do that. I am personally against tying tubes. I'm personally against what's the other sectory, the sectomy.
I think I think someone could make a biblical argument against me, and I would be I could change my stance on that so that this is not like, this is not black and white. But but here's my point. Here's my point of everything I'm saying. I think it's very important as a family, as a as a you're you're not married yet, you're getting married in September. All these are great conversations to have before you're married and before she has her first baby. Great conversations. Uh, conversations
about adoption are great conversations to have. And so as long as you're walking through it, you're praying through it. Lord. We we know that you say we plan our away, but you establish our steps. And so Lord, we're going to plan on staggering two years between babies. We're going to plan on using using a form of contraceptive. So that we could we could uh plan this out. But Lord, will you crush this idea? If this is wrong or
if this is not within your will? Were you make sanctify us in a way that just makes us so uneasy and so uncomfortable with this. And you're in wise counsel, You're in your church. You're in your small groups, so your your your gatherings, you're with your pastor or your elders, however you call it in your church, and you're you're talking through this with them and saying where do we draw the line on birth control? And your church may
have some kind of established idea of this. And if you love the church and they're a they're they're a healthy church and they have a certain encouragement and they probably do on birth control, go with that. Not what I say on this podcast. But the important thing and the point is you're thinking through this with the biblical worldview, and God will honor that as long as he gets he gets the glory at the end, and you recognize his sovereignty in it.
I think the planning is wise. To not plan is reckless.
Yeah you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, So that your point is, let's just not not the Lord brings babies, so let's just not worry about it at all. That's the opposite end of the spectrum. And I don't think that's wise either.
Right, right, And then you know, we do see that where people just don't care. They're just out for themselves, and you know, and they end up with babies that were unplanned and they have to change change things in their life. Not always a bad thing, obviously, but to not if you're in a healthy relationship, you're getting married, you're talking about having this conversation, you're planning and thinking through stuff, just already on the right track.
Yep. If you want to get a hold of me, go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith and I could send you a video message made right here on my phone whatever you want me to say, Happy birthday, happy anniversary. It's a great way for you and I to stay in contact and to get someone a gift that might seem to have everything. Hey, get him a gift at cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. Okay, let's get
into this next question. If you have a question for me, by the way, email podcast at grangersmith dot com and the next question here, I just got off an airplane. That's why I have an airplane voice. Is that a thing? Have you heard people say that airplane voice?
But it's also I mean, you're now in the business of speaking for a living. This is what it's either in front of a front of a crowd, you know, congregation, what have you. It's here on the podcast, or it's on after midnight mornings with Granger, all of it. That's what you do now, So this is to be expected.
All I do is talk, and that just leaves it all in the hands of the Lord, because if the Lord wants to shut me up, if he wants to shut down everything I do, he just stops my voice and voice and I am done seeing music.
You still play guitar?
Yeah, yeah, I am done if the Lord decides to ship my voice off.
Okay.
The next question comes from Brendan. It says, Grandeur, I'm a longtime fan of country music, even some of your stuff. Oh thanks. I'm not the poster child for Christianity, but one thing that I've tried to do is watch my language, especially when in a crowd of people who don't. I figure it's an easy thing to do, and sometimes in the room might notice my conviction, and someone in the room might notice my conviction and find a similar one within themselves, or at least see that the profanity is
not adding anything to the conversation. Where I've been finding an issue is when I'm working on the farm, often alone, and I, for example, drop something on my foot. The profanity slips out before I can even think to myself, don't say that those words in the moment bother me. So do you have any advice for a person who can control cussing in a crowd but the words are enough on the tip of the tongue that they come out later, or a mindset you took when you began
seeing the issue with profanity that helped you. And does this mean I can't listen to City Boy Stuck? That's part of joke. I listened to a lot of podcasts when driving. When I climb into the tractor, yours is the first one I always choose. It takes the relaxation of the tractor work and combines it with great reflection. Keep it coming, Brendan See from Kansas, Hey, Brendan, Thanks buddy. I appreciate the encouragement to me, and I appreciate the question.
I think it's a good question. And I also you know what I like to say, I like to see is when you say I'm not the poster child for Christianity. Same, yeah, same, And I think that should always be our heart position, the greed. It's like, Lord, I know what you ask from me, and I see it in your word, and yet again I have not lived up to your commands, to the obedience that you have asked from me as a result of the grace that you've given me through your son. So amen, I'm not either the poster child
for Christianity. And I think that's a good heart position for the rest of our lives. Brother, And it's also a great question. Your question is basically, look, I'm I'm. I can pretty much control myself around Mama and Grandma when i'm talking, But when I'm out by myself and I drop a hair on my foot, out comes the F bomb. How do I fix this? And I think it's a good question because Jesus was always after the heart. He wasn't after the facade, he wasn't after what you
do in public. He was after all of you, which includes what you do in private. In fact, when it comes to sin. He was just as interested, if not more, interested in what you do in private, because that truly reveals who you are. And so I think it's a great question to be thinking through. How do I control myself in private, not just in public. And it's so interesting when people say this is not you, Brendan, but when people say things like, man, I just I can't
control what I say. I am what I am, and I always think I have no filter. Yeah, I have no filter. And I always think everyone has a filter. You wouldn't go to the the superintendent of your school district and draw F bombs. You probably wouldn't say it around your grandma, depending on your grandma. If you went to a cocktail dinner with the governor of your state and you got five minutes with him, you probably wouldn't drop the F bomb. So everyone has a somewhere. Some
are smaller than others, but everyone has one. So everyone has the same filter in private. Here's here's where I want to go, Brendan. Most likely, and I love that you're thinking through it. That's great. Most likely in this scenario, we need to look at what we're consuming in our lives, because if we're consuming rated our movies all the time.
If we're listening to other podcasts with cussing all the time, if we're listening to music with cussing all the time, then it is second nature for us and it becomes the default. So when we have a facade of filter around Grandma and in public, but we what happens in private reveals what's really in there. That's also a pretty good,
pretty good indication of what we're consuming. So I would say begin Brendan to eradicate and pay close attention to what you're paying attention to, whatever it is in your life that you are focused on. Pay attention to what that is that you're focused on. What do I mean by that? I mean, I mean start taking accountability throughout
the day. If you're if your way of relaxing is watching a movie that's that's got murder and shoot them up and sex and adultery and cussing all in the movie, and you say that's just the way I relax That is penetrating your soul. These are things that are that are slowly bleeding into your life, and so eradicate that, start to pull out instead of saying, how do I control myself in private? Grade er. I say, start to control what you're consuming, and I think that that will
take care of itself. What do you have on this end?
Pretty elementary and but it goes along with that. And I want to have a nice yard. I don't know anything about having a nice yard, like I don't know all the mechanics of it. And keep it mowed, try to keep it green. And then I found out that you know, there are weeds in certain parts, but when I'm mow, evidently I end up spreading the seed into other parts of the yard that didn't have weeds in it before. And then I'm trying to battle both of them, right, And that's kind of how I see and how it's
I feel it's been in my life with cursing. Just like you said, if you don't eradicate it in one area what you listen to and what you consume, it's going to spread to other parts of your life. And if it becomes I mean, he's concerned with it when
he's when he drops a hammer. That's really cool that you're like that, because if you weren't concerned with it, then you'll just eventually not be concerned with it when you're with friends and then it becomes normal there and then you won't really be concerned with it when you're with your parents or in a place where you don't And then you say it and you realize you shouldn't have said something in that instance or in that in that uh, in that atmosphere, and you're like, where how
did this come about? Well, go back to how you were feeling no longer feeling convicted when you said it alone, you know, yeah, And it just continues to spread throughout your life if you let it and you don't. It's a weed, you know, yeah, And you don't take care of it when it's small, it starts taking root in other parts of your life.
And Brennan, I've been there. I know exactly. That's that was. That was a level of sanctification with me where I was frustrated with things that came out of my mouth when I it was a reflex, so a knee jerk.
That's a conversation, you know. I said, I didn't want to listen. I like these podcasts, but I wanted to start weeding these out because the language and them were just awful. It was guy a podcast, so guys just cuss around each other. Well, guys don't have to cuss around each other like that's it doesn't have to be part of your life.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, And and to the end to the question, does this mean I can't listen to City Boy Stuck? That's part of what I'm saying.
The most important question right there's yeah.
I mean literally, that's what I'm saying. You're gonna hear, you know, eventually I put that I will put out a live record for the just the last concert that I did, and you'll hear if there ever was a cuss word, a D word, or an H word, all of those were turned into heck heck no on is that? Yeah that city boy stuck? Yeah, city boy stuck is heck no on the live record, And even that that was a form of sanctification for me to get there.
And then even beyond that, it's like I shouldn't even say that, and so so yeah, it depends on what you're consuming, what you're surrounding yourself with. And I'm sorry I was that influence. I was a bad influence on people as Earl Devils Junior and with the music, So forgive me of that. I'm I'm trying to eradicate that out of my life as well.
They're close to the end of your year tour. When I would go out with you, I would like what you have on right now in ears. I would have those in while I was shooting photos whatever I was doing, and I would because when you have them thata close to your ear drum, you hear the full word, not what you are used to singing in the song. And I was like, oh, he's changing the words the songs. Yeah, yeah, there's a change. And he was a started notice on that.
Then yeah. Next question comes from Travis says, Hey, hope you're having I hope it's going I hope your day is going well. Sorry. I found your podcast a few months ago during some long hours at work, and it made me think about God, and that makes me think about my old roommate. I'm glad, first of all. On the side note, I'm glad that I'll make you think of God. Sorry airplane voice. Have I said that yet? I found his listing on Facebook, but of looking for a renter in a room I had to move for
school and couldn't find anything I could afford. I moved in with him and had a great time with him and his fiance. I proposed to my now wife in that house and then moved out a few months later. We would hang out from time to time. Then one Thursday in December, we were supposed to hang out. I had a garage with a dartboard. We started a game, a game we never got to finish. I texted him a few times that day to make sure he was
still up to hang out. No response. A few hours later, he texted or so I thought it was his wife. He had taken his life that day. Around one year, around the one year mark, I sent a Facebook message to his widow, but it never went through. My wife was able to message her just fine. I'm not sure if this is a message from God or not. He was a very religious person. Christmas was his favorite time of year. Now for my question, should I keep trying to reach out to the widow of my friend or
leave it? Since since the first time the message didn't go through, I've driven by the house a few times and it doesn't look to be kept up. I think she moved back to her parents' house. They are all of us are in our early twenties. Thanks in advanced Travis okay, tough situation, Travis, let me kind of dive in. There's this is multi layered, so let me dive in as if we're sitting in the caboat truck. I'm gonna start with you found my podcast a few months ago
and it made you think about God. That's interesting to me. Let's come back to it. Secondly, you got a buddy from Facebook because of the room for rent. It wasn't a great buddy, it was just a good acquaintance. Right.
Sounds like they did a lot of life together.
They did some life together. Yeah. The message to the widow that didn't go through, is this a message from God or No? God's not going to communicate through a failed Facebook message. God is sovereign over everything, including Facebook messages. So if God didn't want the message to go through, he will do it or not. That's not a question. The question is was God trying to send you a cryptic message through the mess through the Facebook message not
going through that? No, the Bible doesn't speak in terms of God knowing us in that way or speaking to us that way. He speaks to us in one way, and that is through the Son, the Word of God, the Son made flesh, Jesus through the Bible. We have sixty six books God Inspired, written by over forty different authors over the course of fifteen hundred years, revealing the truth of who God is and how He has revealed himself to us to reconcile us to himself, to bring
us to himself through his on Jesus. That's the way he communicates to you, not through a failed Facebook message. That's a cryptic. Should I know if this is God trying to say something like we're in the movie American Treasure. What's that movie treasure? The National Treasure? It's not National Treasure.
Sorry, I wasn't help there.
Okay, So we've established that, and then let's look into he was a very religious person. Christmas was his famous favorite time of year. That's not really part of this topic. I'll lay off that. Should you keep reaching out to the widow or be very careful because she's a widow, she's single, and you're married, so you have to be careful with that dynamic. I love that she is reaching your wife is reaching out. It's a great thing, but you don't want to send them a signal that you
are reaching out privately to a widow. That is vulnerable to a very nice man that just wants to help. That's a bad situation. Let's stay clear of that. You've been up by the house, it looks like it needs to be kept up. Work through your wife in that.
It's great.
It's a biblical command, of course to take care of widows and orphans. But make sure you're doing this in a responsible way. I e. Through your wife and have her reach out and say, hey, I saw that the house has some weeds. Do you mind if I send my husband over there. He's got a weed eater and he'd be happy to take care of it. And that way, you're protecting your own marriage through a potential temptation as simple as that. You don't have to go any further
than that. And she's in her early twenties, most likely she will be remarried. I don't say that with trying to be without sensitivity to the situation, but this typically typically what's going to happen is she'll re marry. As difficult as this situation is, and she's going to be okay, very very I mean unbelievably difficult situations. So I'm not
trying to be insensitive, but this is different. If she's she's seventy years old and she's a widow and she doesn't have a family, and she doesn't have That's when you go over and you go, ma'am, I'd like to like to start doing your grass, to take care of your grass, if that's okay, And maybe I can come and clean some of this stuff off your front porch. That's a different situation then she's early twenties, yes, and you're going, is there anything I can help you with? Right? Okay? Yeah,
I agreed. I think the most important part of this entire email is the first sentence. I found her podcast a few months ago, and it made me think about God. I think, if anything, Travis, I want to use this as an opportunity, not for the grieving widow, not for the guilt that you may have. There's always a weird guilt around suicide. In fact, yesterday I was speaking at a church and a man came up to me afterward and he said that his dad just committed suicide two
months ago. And he said, I'm having trouble grieving and I don't know why, and I'm no grief book seems to matter to me, No advice anyone gives me seems to matter to me, And I said, I said, that's because suicide it carries a different weight to it, because it carries a sinister guilt into all the people that knew that person, thinking could I have done more? It's not like a cancer, it's not like a heart attack, it's not like a car accident. This is something that
everyone around the suicide starts questioning themselves. Oh, you think about the last conversation you had, You think about the last time you're with him? Should think about it? Should I see have seen it? Should I have reported it? Should I have done more? Everyone thinks that that's different than cancer. So, Travis, this is a little bit of what's going on with you. You're thinking, Man, that dart game I texted him no response? Should I have texted him
an hour earlier? Should I have scheduled that dark game the day before? If I had, would this have been different? So recognize that this is part of your struggle and go ahead, Well.
No, you've already touched on it. But man, that you saying that's part of your struggle to then latch onto someone of the opposite sex, to go, oh, we're struggling with the same thing. Is very, very, very dangerous. So if you think that there was a man, and I know there's not, but if you think there was a message from God and not getting that that message through to her on Facebook, I would just consider it protection and move on.
That's great.
Just you were protected. You made a rash decision and shot her a private message that was protection that it didn't go through.
I think that's great. I think it's great. It's not there's a difference between God protecting you and God sending you a crypt a cryptic message through the message not going through like a man saying let it go. And then let's start thinking about why my podcast makes you think about God. And I'm very grateful that the Lord could possibly use this podcast for someone to so that he might draw someone to himself. If I'm that if this podcast the Lord uses this podcast as a conduit
for that man, that's amazing and so encouraging. But I want to follow up on that and say, Travis, I would I would think about how God does reveal himself because if you're if you're open to the consideration that God might message you, send a cryptic message through Facebook to you, I would consider what Christians know to be true in the way that God has revealed himself, and that is through the Bible. And we spoke a little
bit about that. But then I would I would consider why God has revealed himself in the Bible, and what the message of that Bible is. And truly the message of that Bible is that you cannot be good enough for Him. That you could, you could not make up for the sin that has separated you from God, which is a rebellion of God, who created the world and it was good, and he created man in his own
image and it was good. And then man rebelled against him in the garden, instantly wanting to be God himself in a way, and through that we have inherited that sin, and all of us have followed suit with our original father Adam. And you could testify this to yourself. I can't. You can't at and Travis, you can to. Thinking back to have you rebelled against Gott? Have you used yourself in a self centered, controlling way where you become your own God, in charge of your own salvation, in charge
of your own destiny. The answer is always to that, yes, we all have. And so you think, well, what do I do to make up for this? How do I fix this problem? And the truth is that that would be like a murderer sitting in the courtroom saying, Judge, I'm really sorry I murdered. I committed a huge crime, and I want to tell you I've learned my lesson and I want to do better. How could I do it? And the judge says, I don't really care what you say about who you are now and that you've changed.
In order for me to be just, in order for me to be a good judge, I have to carry out my punishment. And so that's a major problem with humans, and that steff to God. But God knowing this, knowing that we couldn't make our way to him. The story of the Bible literally is that God came to us. He condescended himself, the creator of the universe, to become man, to come into his own universe that he created, to live the perfect life, to be the example of what
atom should have been, the original atom that failed. God comes in the form of man as Jesus to be the second atom, to be the perfect one, who then went to the cross and died as a sacrifice, the ultimate sacrifice of all that punishment I said that the judge gives to the murder. Jesus takes that punishment on himself. He takes the sin of the world, all of it, onto himself from the wrath of God, the punishment that
the just judge has to still punish. So now back to the scenario of the murder, he goes, Judge, what can I do? Judge gets a notice and he goes, Actually, a man has stepped in your place and taking your punishment on himself. So now I'm just to set you free. And now that you're free, you live a life of gratitude in obedience to the one that sets you free. That's what the Bible says Jesus did for us. And so I want you to explore this idea that the
Bible says. And if God communicates with us in this way, and there is only one way that he made for us to be able to know him and to know what he wants, to know what he loves, to know what he hates. If there is only one way the Bible, then then then there must be a need for you to read it like an instruction manual for your own life. And then there must be a community called the church that could surround you and help carry you through situations
like this, this Facebook thing, Travis. That's my encouragement to you. You have anything to add to that encouragement before. I appreciate you guys, all of y'all for emailing and if you want to yeah, if you want to keep it coming, shoot a message to podcast at grangersmith dot com and like always, we'll see you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
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