If you can answer this... Don't do it! (Special episode 100)

our relationship guy. Okay. Supposedly, all right, Chad past the Chad, past the Chad, welcome back. Always a big request. You're gonna be our You're gonna be our pastoral guy. Okay, God, questions will go to you. Indeed, that burns. Oh man, what's gonna get thrown at me? I'm so nervous. You're the utility draw, utility draw. Everyone could everyone could play multiple hats in this game. But you're gonna play our life guy. Okay, yeah, our career guy. Okay, Okay, I

can do it. So what we do on this podcast. If for some reason you came to episode one hundred, it's the first time, maybe it is your very first time We're gonna answer questions as if we're sitting around I can't fire, and you're sitting around with some buddies and we're there and you say he could, I could. I got throw something at you, guys. Something's been bothering me or something I'm excited about and I need some kind of resolution, so you ask us that, And so

that's that's what we're doing today. I've I've picked these these three gentlemen around me. These are these are good men, good hearts, They're smart. And if I and and this does happen, if I'm going through something or I need some some somebody to reflects some wisdom back on me, I'm gonna I'm gonna go to these three guys. And so I feel very blessed to have these these three guys and and others in my life, and I want to be able to share that with you. So that's

what this podcast is about. If you have one of these questions, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I want to get to some some good stuff today. I have some good questions lined up, so I don't want to waste too much time talking. So I'm gonna dive into the question for the record, I don't know what I'm gonna pick first, and I don't know a lot about these questions. Can I cut something out of the way from go go ahead, Jed. So I'm not only you know, I get to be a guest here, but

I'm also a fan of the podcast. I listen when I'm not on here, and I'm a little like starstruck right now that I get to hang out with Bernie. If you're if you are, you listen to this podcast, and you're like, I love to hang with that guy, Like I'm living your dream right now. And so it's just it's an honor to meet Bernie in Verson the first time we've ever met. Yeah, it was just we hugged it, we did we embraced it felt felt authentic

and real. So yeah, same for me. Same here. I know Bernie would say the same thing back to you. So because he does call me and he's like, man, that episode with Chad Parker, you're in this too, dude, that both these guys will say the same thing. So, yeah, they just know you a lot better. This is the first time they've ever met. Ye, I've just before. I agree, it was a big day. It was a big day. I mean, you were kind of there, you were you

saw it witness. Yeah, I couldn't believe they hadn't met yet. He was playing piano in the background, like I set it up. Yeah, Hey, Parker, get over there, play piano. There's a soundtrack. Yeah. I was trying to bring emotion to the moment. Very magical. The first question I want to I want to ask or I want to read is the septic line says question for one hundredth episode, it is failing my family. Great Andrew, thank you for all you do on this podcast is to highlight of

my mondays. My name is Jared. I'm in my late thirties. I live in Nashville, Tennessee. I have many blessings in my life, a wonderful wife, an amazing nine year old daughter, a roof over my head, the ability to earn a wage. But I cannot escape the feeling that I'm failing at life and at worst, I'm failing my family. Brief backstory summer of twenty nineteen, diagnosed with a growth in my brain and it was still throwing off several systems in

my body. Currently attempting to shrink it with medicine, but not reaching desired results. Spring a twenty twenty, I lose my dream job due to the pandemic. January twenty twenty one, my father, mother, and younger brother all diagnosed with COVID nineteen. In the same week, father, in his sixties, makes a full recovery, but my younger brother dies two weeks later. March twenty twenty one, after long struggle, my mother dies

from COVID. My family lives about five hundred miles away, and I have done everything I can to help, but there is only so much you could do from this kind of distance. I'm blessed enough to find a temporary job working in a warehouse for a fraction of the pay I was making at my previous job, but it's really hard, only getting support from churches and friends. I've averaged about sixty hours per week since March of twenty twenty to get the income needed to keep us going.

It's definitely been a physical, mental, and emotional strain. I have yet to be able to find another job in my previous field due to the volatility of the financial markets and the inability to generate clients in pre pandemic ways. In my heart, I know God has his hand on my life, and I believe he could turn all things

for good. But I'm struggling with feeling that I'm not living up to my potential and failing my family by not finding a job that I could provide as well and still be available for them in this crazy season. All insights are greatly appreciated. Thanks Jerry ye Ye, Thanks Jared. Shout out to to Nashville. Bernie and I both lived in Nashville late thirties. Got quite a story here, that's a lot. But yet you're you're holding your head up and and talking about your blessings, which tells me that

you're you're in a right place. It doesn't make it easier, doesn't. You could be in a right place and and still be struggling with what to do tomorrow. So did I hear right that he lost his mom and his brother this year? Yep. He's got a nine year old daughter, he's in his late thirties, and and a growth on his brain that looks like it's stable, but they're not getting the total results. So he's got a lot going on. Yeah, you could plug in, Jared. You could plug it in

with a lot of people right now. In the world, A lot of Americans, at a lot of people worldwide. You could plug in anybody's name for Jared said, they've had several losses recently back to back, including their job, and they're dealing with their own physical health and they're feeling guilty that they might not be living up to what their family expects from them. Who's got something on this?

So this sounds like a pastor question to chat on this. Yeah, So what I hear in what he's kind of described there there is this belief in understanding that God is present through this. He says, I know that God has

his hand on me. I know He's got a plan. However, I still wrestle with this feeling that I'm failing, that I'm insufficient, and so there's a tension there right, there's yeah, yeah, I know God has this, but I still have to do my part in this, right And so I think that's what that's what my heart feels immediate format And he's again not alone in having all kinds of crazy things happen, but also not alone that we as men will tend to find our identity in what we can produce.

I mean that goes back to Genesis three, right when the curse comes down from God to Adam and Eve. For Adam, it's particular in that you will labor hard and have difficulty producing from the ground, like this will be a hard thing for you. And so from that point forward, men in particular will always struggle to find their value and their meaning in what they can produce. And it's I think particularly sensitive when it comes to producing four wife and kids. Is that a good or

bad thing? I think it is. It's a dangerous thing because as much as we can say no, I trust God for my identity, my value, my purpose, and I'm in Christ, we still go. But ye, when I compare myself to my friends or the culture around me, I'm only valuable to the extent I can produce in my mind what I think I need to produce. And so he has a unique opportunity that as the world watches him right all his neighbor's friend's family watch him go

through some horrific seasons of life. They get to watch how he responds in a way that trusts the Lord. Doesn't find fault with the Lord and is okay with it because his identity is not in his own ability to produce and so that may be something that the Lord is trying to walk him through and teach him through. But it doesn't make it easy. It's super hard when and we can't produce in the way that we want to.

And so I think there's something there with identity and not necessarily saying that he's giving lip service to his faith, but that there is a real tension with saying I believe God for this, However, I still need to do

my part. I need to produce. And so finding that balance of seeing the opportunities you have and what you know, what God has given you, and the clients you do have and the work you can do, but just trusting that this is a season, this isn't forever, This too shall pass, as they say, right, and that this is an opportunity yet to demonstrate your loyalty, your commitment, your worship to God in the midst of trial. Yeah, so good, Yeah,

you're right on. And that there is a positive note that he's taking responsibility for taking care of his family and that is a good thing very much, And that is say that is a gift from God, that not only that he was given that, but he's accepting that responsibility. He's feeling the weight of that. So Garret Mahart goes

to you, man, you feel the weight of this. But Chad's right on and saying that this is a season and it's so hard to see past a season like this, but they always change, just like the leaves and the trees and the seasons, they change. That's how life is. And that's such a big reason I think. I don't know exactly what I think. That's why Jesus just really

wanted to teach don't worry about tomorrow. He made it a big part of the sermon on the Mount, but everything he could have said, he wanted us to say, No, you need to worry about today, and brother, you are. You're crushing today. You went out. You got a job. A lot of people email this podcast. They don't even have that temporary job. They're wanting to get back to what they think they deserve. You went out, you put

pride aside. You got this temporary job, and you had every reason to just climb in a little cave and disappear with everything that's going on with you. But you fought back. You're a fighter. You fought back. You're working sixty hours a week. You're getting support from your friends, wise counsel that we love that you're getting wise counsel. And the only thing I think that's missing in this

whole email is full trust God. You got this. You got People love to quote Romans eight twenty eight, but they always for they just quote the all things for good part. They forget the love God according to his purpose. They forget those parts. So He's got a purpose for you. Trust him, believe him, love him, And in the meantime, you're crushing it. Yeah, Jared, I'll hit you with some just practical I think they hit on this on a

very spiritual kind of, you know, higher level. But having had a friend that's had a brain tumor removed and had to go on medication to address it, it sounds like you're on medication. And I know how that can mess with mood, It can mess with hormones, it can

mess with your ability to process emotion. So I would just suggest to either, I don't and again, you're not at the campfire with us, so I can't ask you these questions like but I would I would suggest to like keep that in mind, and maybe your wife knows that and like you have some accountability to like, hey, this medicine is not this kind is not working, Like, man,

I'm feeling this way. So I think from a medication standpoint, just make sure that you're being monitored, like and people that know you really well or seeing how you're responding to that because those things that they I've seen them firsthand play have major effects on people. And the other thing is everybody at this table probably has either experienced or know somebody that's experienced the death and the family that you're kind of working with. My dad passed away

last December. Man, push into some counseling of some kind to really process your grief. And that's a lot all at once too, especially on top of just the low lying trauma that everybody's kind of dealing with in this season of COVID and everything. So I think just practical, you know, make somebody, make sure somebody is kind of like aware of your medication, and then counseling for your grief just to process through some of those emotions and everything.

That's a pretty good, a pretty good paint that you know, we did a broad stroke on this and uh, yeah, that's that's awesome. Having having both of you guys in here. Here's one that this has to be lighter. But it's called friendship breakup, and it says, how do you know it's time when it's time to end a friendship? Long story short, We've been best friends for a few new years now, and our families were super close, did everything together. She was invited to a bachelorette party and declined for

budget and aligning priorities quotations. Less than twelve hours later, they were at Windstar. The following weekend was a weekend getaway to a really expensive hotel and another trip to Windstar, and this coming weekend a weekend trip to New Orleans, all with friends that she that they excuse me, have made in the past two or three months. I feel like I'm being told our friendship is not a priority to her, and I've been extremely hurt by this. Am

I overreacting? Or is it time to step back? Parker? That's Parker all over it. This comes from Amanda Barker. Hasn't he lose his friends? All he knows about that? Hey, my friend go to casinos without me. I guess the question here is should I be friends with someone who seems to be not respectful of my time or wanting to hang out with me, or am I being am I being? Am I overthinking this? Am I bringing drama into this unnecessarily? Yeah? That a fair assessment. Yeah. Absolutely.

If Christian was here, I know that he would say something about what kind of expectations are you setting for this friendship that that is not reciprocated. You're you're you're setting this high expectation of we're besties. We do everything together, we tell each other everything. If someone new comes into our lives, we introduce them, and that's an expectation that that the other person is not giving back to Amanda.

I am frustrated. I'm frustrated with this question. And it's partly why I put it on this this group, and sometimes I put questions in here because I think a lot of people need to hear it, because a lot of people probably feel it. But this is this is a This is such a waste of spirit and effort and heart. I cannot imagine how you're stressing over this.

And imagine Jared not not comparing here, but imagine what Jared's going through and and Amanda, you're dealing with a friend that's going to Windstar, and I want I just kind of I don't want to compare, but I do want to kind of just put a perspective in here that are you overreacting? Yes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're you're

you are? What does that make you feel? Yeah? My Immediately I look to expectations and what she expects of the friend and like, are you are you unwilling to sit down and have a conversation or kind of deal with some resolution here, Like, let's there's unresolved frustration, so just grab coffee, go grab lunch something, but just say, hey, here's what's going on. We've been friends for a long time and I just need to share some things. And

because I want this friendship to continue. Obviously you wouldn't be hurt if you didn't want it to continue. So it's worth fighting for. And that's what friends do through thick and thin ups and downs, but they deal with unresolved conflict so that once resolved, you're better for it. You're better friends for it. If you find that through that confrontation, this friend is like, I'm sorry, this is

too much for me. Maybe that's an indicator too that it's not the kind of friendship that's healthy and that you need to engage with. But I would be willing to resolve the conflict and in front it, and in doing that, you're being the kind of friend that you'd probably want to have. Yeah, So so let me ask you a question, because I think that's great advice. But let's say Amanda. Let's say Amanda reaches out to Julie says, hey, can we grab coffee? Do this? And julis like, now,

I'm just busier, I can't do it. I'm not sure when I can do it. Or let's let's say that they do get together and have coffee. Let's go this way. They have coffee and Julie is just like, yeah, she's intentionally been doing this, and there there is like a break, and Julie doesn't necessarily want to continue the same level of friendship. Let's just say that's a possibility. How does Amanda then respond to that, not not just respond to Julie, but how does she go about living and accepting that

this man is this was a friendship. I'm hurt that it kind of went this way, But how do I kind of like now navigate going forward without that friendship

the same as it was before? I think when that happens, that is it's it's the loss of a friend, right, It's it's like a death, and there's a grief process associated with that of and I can't remember off the top of my head what that grief process is, but there are steps that we emotionally go through to kind of reconcile in our lives that that person isn't going to be that person in the same way or maybe

ever again. And so I think there is a grief process that you have to go through and just lament the loss of a friend. If that's the case, if the if the friendship can never be what it was, you have to, you know, figure out am I okay with what it can be? And if it can't, If I'm not okay with that, then maybe you have to part with that. But it's there's no easy fix. Somebody

doesn't want to be your friend. I mean, I I have to wrestle with this with my eleven year old daughter as she navigates every year there's a different group of girls in her grade and navigate through so and so who was a good friend is no longer a good friend and just help her see that because that one friend isn't there In the same way, it opens up opportunities in time for you to explore new friendships. And so I think maybe there's something to that too. No,

that's great, great answer. I think that what you said about communication is by far the key, Like you got to talk to your friends period. I'm convinced that all questions can be answered by like I haven't figured out yet, but it's like six or seven answers and communication is one. And that's so this one falls under communication talk talk to her, yep, a man to talk to her. And the last one would fall under trust. Trust, just trust, trust the process, trust God, trust your spouse. You know,

there's always a trust issue. And we'll maybe we'll continue to find these themes. If we do, we have to write a book about that. Yeah, every answer has one of six yes. Every question six answers. I think we let's let's talk about one more and took a break. Let me throw a couple at you guys and see if anything steps out. Mechanical bull at a wedding, trying not to be a Karen, legalistic Christians, what to do help ghosted? Any of those pop out? All right, Hey,

Grangeer needs some advice from our wedding reception. My fiance and I are deciding on what entertainment to have for the guests at the beginning of the reception while we're all getting our pictures done right now, we have planned to do the typical appetizers, yard games, background music during this time, estimated about one and a half hours of down time between the ceremony and us entering the reception. He would like to have a mechanical bull with the reception.

The mechanical bull is about nine hundred dollars to rent and seems too much to spend when that money could be used in other places. Now, we didn't meet at a rodeo and he doesn't ride bulls, so I don't see the reasoning behind it. Don't get me wrong, I think it would be super fun, but for us, I just think it would be a little weird. What do you guys think? What if you enjoyed at weddings that you've attended. Thanks for reading my email, Mary, Mary, you're

asking the wrong group. Mary, I'll say, just the fact that you're willing to consider and entertain the idea. That's awesome. Yeah, that's so cool. You got to do it. I've never heard of anybody doing that, and I would never forget that of any wedding I went to they had a mechanical bull, or we could stand around and like have drinks and you know, appetizers, boring do the mechanical bull? Graduate will even pay for it? Just kidding. I don't want to volunteer for that, but I will say, besides

the mechanical bull, besides any of that. This is an interesting indication of during this engagement time, of what is to come in your marriage. You think a mechanical bull is a big decision. Just wait till you have kids, Wait till you have to buy a house and you're you're you have to get a new car payment, and you're you're wanting that you needed to move for a job across the country because he got a new job offer.

It only gets more complicated. Or he wants to like backpack into the remote parts of Indonesia, right, he's going to ask you that someday it'll be Really, it only gets more complicated. You're you're gonna have to You're going to have to understand the word of compromise before you get married. And Pastor Chad could maybe even jump in since he does marriage counseling. But this is if this is a big deal to you, then you need to see the bigger picture of why it's a big deal,

because I would say it just like Bernie did. Hey, if you're fiance, if you love him, and he's all about the mechanical bull, and that's really what he wants, because I'm sure Mary that you have a bunch of things that you really want. If this is one of the few things, I'm assuming there's only a few things this dude wants. He wants a mechanical bull. Is it expensive? Nine hundred dollars? Yes, that's expensive. Can you compromise and give up a few of your things to make up

that money? Maybe some flowers, Maybe there's something that you're doing that you could compromise a little bit and honor him in that if he was hey, if he was emailing, I would say the same thing back to him, to honor you. It's not a guy or a girl thing. I would say, I let'ld say honor that, especially right before what this day represents is huge. Yeah, I would say, there is Uh, what's the I think Bernie alluded to it.

What's the win here, right, If the goal is for your guests to have an I mean an unforgettable experience while they wait and you take pictures. I've never I've been to a lot of weddings. Can we come? Can you just like invite to us? That would be sweet, but that your guests will never forget your wedding day if that happens. But if that's not your goal, then

you know they make a different decision. I would also say too, it's a good opportunity like something like this for couples considering marriage or moving towards that they have to come to an understanding of how are you going to make difficult decisions? What are the what's the criteria by which you determine one way or the other? And the financial component, but what are the values that you

guys have that help you make difficult decisions? Because they're only going to get harder from here, and so you've got to figure that out. How do you guys make decisions whether to move, whether to take this job, whether to you know, let this person move in for a season. There's all kinds of weird life situations that there's no book for, and you just got to figure out how you're going to make those decisions. Great stuff, Mary, honor him, go to him and just say, hey, babe, we should

do it. Why Granger Smith said, so, has anyone here written a mechanical or live ball. I've been mechanical, yeah, fun not very long, but I was out there. I at least got We're going to take a break, be right back. Podcast is brought to you guys today by ray On. I love this brand and I love having good quality earbuds. I travel a lot, so earbuds are so important, especially when I'm traveling, because I get on a plane and I need something that is going to

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it says greater. My name is Ken. I live in beautiful Falcon, Colorado with my amazing daughter Sammy question do you feel or hear God in your heart or mind? Slash thoughts? Are these at times interchangeable for you? For myself, when I go into prayer about a decision, I'm very aware of my mind trying to justify what I want from the decision. Justifying almost always turns out to be the wrong choice. How do you receive the message? Parker?

I'm kicking it off to you because it's an interesting thought and I think highly misunderstood, and I want you to go I want you to go straight reformed on us. Oh, because this is uh, this is how you start babbling in paganism if you start thinking too much about how's God speaking to me? I'm going to kick this off to No, I don't qualify. You've got this table you could crush. I'm not really following the question. If I'm being honest, and I don't know if the listener is

he's asking how do you hear God? How do you hear God? And I'm fighting with my own consciousness over what God is telling me? And how do I discern the difference between its exactly exactly? M h. It's difficult, it's not easy. I think that it starts with admitting to God that you need his help, having a conversation with him daily. I know that the Bible tells us it's through the daily renewal of our minds to not hearts. Two. Yeah, yeah,

that's a good point. So, I mean John MacArthur passed it that I like always says, I don't know a better way for God to communicate with me what his will is than through my own desires. And that's a dangerous thing to say, because then the second part of that is, Okay, what happens if my desires aren't in line with His will? So this isn't helping very much. But I would say, no, you're right on, You're right

where I wanted you to go with this. Yeah. Yeah, So so then the question is, okay, well, how do I align my desires my will with God's? How do I have him give me the desires of my heart. Right, and so I think that it's in trust, it's in the daily reading of his word, it's in the seeking of wise counsel, of godly men who have been there and been in that situation before. It's through deep, honest, humble prayer and repeat those three things and and then

you do whatever you want to do. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you would say, is you do those things and then you do whatever you want to do, because by that point he's controlling your want to, he's controlling your desire. He's putting the desires in you. Yeah, it's Psalm. I'm going to get it wrong. Somewhere in the Psalms, Yeah, says delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. And you think about that, where is the center of delight, Well, it's in our heart.

So if we delight ourselves in the Lord, then we get what our heart wants, which is Him. Right, So as I pursue Him and am satisfied in Him, then whatever I set out to do is going to glorify him. So when I delight myself and him, he will give me the desires of my heart. Some people read that and go, well, all all kind of do lip service to God, and then I'll get the ferrari, which is what I really want. Right, Well, that's not the that's not delighting yourself in the Lord truly, and so yeah,

I think you're I like what you said. I think you're highly qualified. Yep. And I also say, Chad, I'm thankful that you didn't quote where that was in the psalms and you don't know, because it makes me feel a little better at the pastor of the table. Can't do it. So if I can't do it them, well, the Bible says, I love that I could have said that. Yeah, I love it. Well, I think too. Some people they

go down a mystical road. They're wondering. I think we back in one of the earlier podcasts, we had somebody saying do you see God in the clouds? And some people wonder, is there like an audible voice when when Christians talk about I heard from the Lord or the Lord was showing me, and we would naturally go, okay, well, is there an apparition in the room or is there a voice that you hear, or are there signs that you're looking for, and they want there to be some

something more magical or mystical. Then he's revealed himself in his Word. He speaks by the Holy Spirit through his body, which are the body of believers. And so he has revealed himself in creation to a certain extent, right, not in the clouds or whatever, but the clouds declare his glory. So we don't look for these magical mystical experiences. He's spoken,

He's revealed himself in the Word. And there's an analogy about how the Holy Spirit works that's always helped me to say, to understand the things that people claim are happening via the Holy Spirit, like are they legitimate or not? And if you've ever been to Washington, DC and gone to check out all the monuments, have you guys been, Yeah, incredible.

And the best time to go is at night because then not only is it not super hot, because I've only ever been there in the summer and it's really hot there, but the way the lights illuminate and bring to life some of these monuments, and the fascinating thing that I noticed one time when walking through there, I can always see the monuments in the Korean War Memorial or the Vietnam Memorial or the Lincoln Memorial. You can

see them and they're perfectly lit up. But what you never notice is the actual light bulb that's doing it. They're always like recessed in the ground or behind a shrub or but you never can see the glare of a bulb. You just see the light that it produces, and it illuminates the monument the thing that you came to see. And that is exactly like the ministry of the Holy Spirit. That his goal, the reason why he

was sent, was to manifest and make known Christ. And so if a thing that we're claiming is of the Spirit of God, if it doesn't make much of Jesus and cause us to look to him and exalt him, then it may not be of the spirit, because his whole goal is to get us to look and see the wonderful works of God through Jesus Christ. That's so good, Kenya.

This is never as complicated as you think. If you're reading, if you're deep in the Word, you're deep in prayer, if you're surrounding yourself, like Parker said, with wise counsel of godly men, then at that point you literally do what you want because at that point, God is controlling your wants. That is, it's so simple that it's revolutionary. But don't sit around and think I don't hear anything God. I'm trying to listen for you, and I don't hear

you talking. He's not going to talk to you because he only did that a few times to some of the prophets, but everybody else in the Bible, he did it through their desires and they're once. So yeah, there you go. Brother, Let's let's find how about this? Uh, Let's see if I can get one that's not about God. I get so many questions about God. Now this one says trying not to be a Karen Hey, Granger and Guest. I have a situation i'd like to get your input on.

I'm currently married and been married for seven years. We have one child. We are having issues such as communication, trust, et cetera. He works out of town a lot. I'm wondering do I put in the effort to fix the relationship or give up and go our own ways. I have asked to seek couples counseling and I got a maybe from him. I have also looked into divorce. I truly don't know what to do. Thanks for your input, Karen. Let me start by this, Karen, is their abuse evolved involved?

Is there is there cheating involved? Is your Yeah, she jumped pretty quick from yeah he works out of town and or sorry we're having trouble communicating? Should I just leave and like get divorced? And whoa? There's a lot in between there that we don't know what's going on. I guess there should be. If it's if she's making that leap, there must be something. Is your child in danger? If you answer no to any of those questions, then absolutely do not give up. Don't that that is That

is a huge problem in society today. Marriage is not does not have an exit plan that doesn't come with contingencies. That's not what it's about. And so you can't get in your head that that's even a possibility. The D word is out. Unless your child's in danger, unless you're in danger, unless he unless he is cheated and will not repent to you. Because even if he cheated, you could you still got to try to hold it together. Parker, you're you're the single man of the group. Well, you're

the one that's not married out of this group. I know that you you're not looking at marriage in your future as something that's going to have an explan to it. You're not ever going to get into a marriage where you might have to ask I don't know what to do,

should just give up? Right? Yeah? I think, Uh, that's kind of why I was interested in going to the ghosting question after this one, so that you don't end up in this situation because that next girl, I'm assuming he's going to say, there's a guy who just who led me on and was talking to me, and then now he's gone, and I have no idea, and I feel really wronged and cheated and I want him back. What do I do? It's like, you thank God that you didn't marry that guy, and he got out of

your life and made the decision for you. So I think it just starts with understanding the seriousness and gravity of what marriage is, yes, and that you're bringing God into this relationship to become one. I think that one of the biggest problems with society today is we just don't take that seriously. That doesn't really help her in this situation now, except for the fact that she needs to fight, and only I mean, unless it was really

really really bad. Like you said, would you consider that child? Did she mention like relationship with God or like no? No. That's kind of why I read it because one of the few that don't say God. Okay. So second question would be what what when you say like fight for it practically? What does Karen need to do? I would say this with Karen, I would say I would go to him and go, Honey, I know you're wishy washy about going to counseling, but we're going to do it.

We're gonna do it me and you are going to do it because I love you, and I made a vow to love you until death, through sickness, through trouble. We made a vow and I will stand by you. We have if anything, we have a child that this will devastate. Look at the statistics, it will devastate that You're you're teeter tottering here with devastating this child or putting this child on a path that's just rough. It's common, it's like fifty percent or whatever, but very common, but rough.

Why would you put your child through something rough when you're right here it sounds like you just don't want to do it, And so I would say, we're going to do counseling. I don't want to. Well I'm not I'm not. I'm not saying if we I don't want to either, but we have to. And and and I would just say, what's the kind of what what is a counseling that would make you feel comfortable? What is ah, should we go to a male or a female or a you know, I just find a compromise. But you

got to make it work. Yeah, I think, like Bernie pointed out, there's just there was a huge leap, and there's it seems like there's a lot of information that we just are privy to that if you were here at the count campfire, we'd have a lot of questions and ask what you have tried to do and what you've explored and when did this start to happen? When did you start to experience this kind of distance and try to kind of get some more context to it.

But I think, as you said, and you pointed out, uh Granger, that unless there's this, this, this, this and this fight, get into it and what does that look like? It it means getting into the communication and yeah, calling engaging. Are you able to go on some of these trips with him, and what would that look like for you guys to accompany him on within this travel and just be a part of what is going on? Is there, yeah, a way to challenge him to be to be more

engaged at home? And it says, what's seven years America? Seven years? Yeah? Their kid doesn't say kids. Yeah. Well, since we don't have all those answers, Karen, I would just suggest find a group of ladies or maybe find a counselor yourself that you can ask these questions and they can kind of walk through and guide you a little bit more specifically through the through the process, and they can maybe hold your hand whatever is going to happen.

That you can actually have real life people kind of that will sit in cry with you and laugh with you and whatever through this. And then serve your husband be in the word serve your husband until and I hope everybody understands what I mean by serve your husband. That doesn't mean like go get his beer and deliver his food. That means like we take the posture of humility and when we're just soaking in God's word, that

that's what it's gonna do to us. It's gonna it's gonna make us want to like think of others and like serving them and thinking of them. And if that's not happening now, and it starts to maybe that's something that your husband recognizes, like, man, something's something's changing, and you know, could be the start of something. But absolutely, what does it mean to be a Karen? I think I've been told this before, Dude, I'm so, but I think my kids have tried to explain it to me.

What sounds like a Parker crush? Yeah, what is a Karen? Well, a Karen is somebody who is just a complainer and is typically having a bad time wherever she goes. The very first original Karen actually originated from somebody who's likely to ask to speak to the manager at a restaurant, at a business, somebody who's not happy with the service that they think they deserve. So it comes with a sense of entitlement and typically imagine like a brunch, everybody's

just trying to have a good time. Karen asked for her dressing on the side, she got on top. She wants to speak to the manager who's going to make a big order a lot of it. Yeah, Karen calls the homeowners association because your grass is getting long or

your train still out. There was this like in a skit somewhere or on the innywhere on social media where it would it's typically a woman in her you know, mid forties, big black sunglasses, highlighted hair typically down to the shoulders, and an I part again or a fur jacket, and it says girl with hair like this have a twelve out of ten chance of asking to speak to the manager. And I can totally visualize this person, Karen.

I know quite a few Karens. I'm well, what that said? Thanks, So the subject line was I'm trying not to be a Karen. Look when it's your marriage that that doesn't count, doesn't count, that doesn't count. I want to go to ghosted because Parker remembered the title ghosted and I think it's going to be exactly what you thought it was going to be, and said I like to remain anonymous, but this is honestly kind of petty. The guy I've been seeing for the last two months has ghosted me.

He seemed to be a strong believer, so I didn't expect to get ghosted, especially since the last text he sent was checking to see how I felt things were going between us. Actually kind of sounds like a problem. I want to make another online dating profile just to catfish him, but I'm thinking that that's not turning the other cheek. What do you think? I've tried everything to

meet a strong believer, but it just hasn't happened. I've visited other churches, asked friends if they know God the guys, to Texas for a blind date, and eventually tried online dating. I went to a Christian college in grad school. Do you have any tips for meeting God the guys? As I'm getting closer to thirty, I started to give up hope of getting married and having kids. Maybe it's God's will for me to be single. Thanks Anonymous Parker. There are some terms in there you needed to find. Yeah,

for sure. Oh man, Okay, there's a lot to unpack here. I'm hearing online dating, for one, not to say that you can't find someone with an online dating profile. Probably what's your criteria for finding somebody in an online dating You're just seeing a picture of them. I'm hearing that you thought he was a believer, but his actions, I like to say his actions are speaking, so loud that I can't hear what he's saying. So I think that I like the saying also, of the heart wants what

it's fed. Don't follow your heart, inform your heart. So I think that she's in a spot right now where she can kind of ask herself, what is it that is making me attracted to these types of men that are doing this, that are maybe saying that their believers are saying that they're good guys, but their actions are speaking otherwise. I would I would just encourage her to also do a deep dive into trying to find contentment

in her singleness. Now it's that I'm hearing a little bit of borderline being desperate and finding validation in a spouse. You're not going to be able to find somebody to completely complete you. You would only find that through God and through who He says you are. So it's just what a great opportunity now it's to focus on herself and her relationship with God and to truly have an

honest conversation with herself. Of am I sounds like she's going to these different churches trying to find a guy, flying out of state to try to find a guy. I would just encourage her to you know. Aside, note, don't do that. Don't fly to another state for a blind date please, especially if it's online. I hope that this is what that wasn't from all, that's just dangerous. Yeah, sorry,

go ahead, Yeah, agreed. I think that one of the best ways, one of the best pieces of advice at this point in my life that I can give to finding a spouse is first off, setting your non negotiables of what you're looking for in a spouse, what's important to you, of what's going to make a good husband and father. Like I said, finding contentment in your singleness now and saying even if I don't find someone, I

will truly be content. It's one thing to say, it's another thing to really believe it, and then to find that joy and peace that's found through Christ and getting involved with your church. And then if you find someone else who's running toward him as fast as you are, then yes, you'll consider it. That's exactly my thought is that Anonymous here has spoke many times about Christians. She went to Christian college, she's talking to Christian friends about

Christian guys. He assumed her X was a Christian. She's saying visited churches. She's thrown that out so much, but nothing in here screams you're pursuing Christ. This is the fundamental element of being a Christian, is passionately pursuing Christ. It's not a heritage or a it's not even really a religion. We like to say, it's not even really a religion in that sense. It's passionately pursuing a relationship

with Christ. And that doesn't sound like you. I'm not trying to be rude, but that doesn't sound like that's not screening from your email that you're doing that you're wanting everybody else to and you're wanting to surround yourself with people that are. But I don't feel that from you.

And I think Parker said it right. You're if you passionately pursue Christ, then you're going to find somebody that's side by side parallel with you doing the same thing, and you're going to turn and go, oh, hey, look at you. Right, Yeah, that's so good. Y'all need to rewind back to when Parker first started and listen to that one more time. That was really good, dude, That whole thing. I think that to ask something that what a lot of people would be saying, is hold on Granger.

I do know a lot of Christians because they've said the prayer, and the Bible says that when we say the prayer and we accept Christ into our heart. Did it when I was twelve at church and I meant it. I do think that I'm a Christian. I do think that all my friends are Christian. What do you think is the difference between what you're saying of someone who's passionately pursuing and what the world views a Christian as now in America. I think it's a big problem. Thing's

a massive problem. I think there's a lot of self proclaiming Christians that don't even really know what that means. I'm not trying to throw shade. I've walked that walk before, and I think it's a very dangerous walk. So, so, what's the difference is someone passionately pursuing Christ versus someone who has professed his name. Maybe this is a good

Chad question. Well, in the Gospel of Matthew and Luke, there's a an instance where Jesus he has entered Jerusalem and the triumphal entry has happened, and he's getting closer and closer to the events leading up to the Crucifixion. And after they enter they have to actually go and leave to a small community called Bethany to stay there

for the night. So they're leaving and on their return to Jerusalem, they see off in a distance, it says, a fig tree full of leaves, and all of a sudden this expectation that, oh, there's a fig tree with leaves on it. And the indication is that in that region, when a fig tree has leaves, it means that it's bearing fruit. It's in the season for bearing fruit, and the text even says it wasn't the season for figs. However, this tree had leaves on it, so it looked like

it was going to be fruit bearing. And when they get up closer because they're hungry, they find this tree does not actually have any fruit on it. And so then Jesus curses this fig tree and it shrivels up and dies right moment or the next day. And so I think the sober warning there is for believers to not just look like they're a believer, and that they say the right things and they go and do the right They go to the church and they check the box.

But are they bearing fruit? Because we don't want to be a fig tree that looks like it should be bearing fruit. Right it claims that it's a Christian, but there's no fruit found in our lives. And fruitfulness is not only the fruit of the spirit love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control, but also the mark of a follower of Christ is that you are causing others to meet Jesus and following follow him right, discipleship, evangelism, you're bearing fruit.

You're causing other believers to occur, because that's what fruit does. For a tree. It has seeds in it and it produces other things like it, And so are we causing others around us. So, if that's the pursuit of Christ that's happening, it's gonna bear fruit, and you're gonna see it really right away. You're gonna be able to detect is somebody genuinely following Christ or not? If you were at that level. And I kept thinking, man, she is

painted a picture or for us. I don't know if she intended to of a strong pursuit of men right she. I'm guessing a lot of time and energy and emotion is spent thinking about and posturing life and time and in pursuit of finding the guy. And I just what if that level of intentionality was put on pursuing the Lord? What would change in her life and her joy? So pastor correct me if I'm wrong, or guide me in this. But hey, guys, we've got a couple of minutes before

this is going to break again. So I'm kind of proposing we do one more round. Okay, now do you hold that thought? Kick off another round, take a break, kick off another round. We'll leave with that, all right, get it back? All right, we're going extra long episode one hundred. I haven't even said how grateful I am that this podcast has lasted that long. It took a turn about episode fifty and turned into this, which I'm so grateful for. And Parker had a big part to

do with that. We were trying to decide the direction of the podcast, and I was coming up with content and I was telling stories, and at some point Parker was like, man, we just answer questions, answer people's questions. That way, I don't have to worry about being creative every week, and I could actually be consistent about putting out the podcast, and then that turned in that was all it was, and then it turned into something so much more meaningful. So let's continue and burnieu. I don't

want to leave you hanging. Yeah. So Chad was just referring to the fig tree, Jesus and the disciples walking back into Jerusalem, right, and I was just going to get some feedback from him on more of the specifics

of what's happening there. We were talking about this I don't remember her name, Anonymous, pursuing these relationships with these Christian guys, and we kind of were discussing the you know, the adjective of Christian in front of something, and I just wanted to hear what Chad, you know, had to say about the fact that in that same passage that you know, asking like, was Jesus was referring to the nation of Israel and that was it was a metaphor,

and that that tree the leaves were representing this religiousness that they that they had, that they showed they had the adjective in front of their name, that they were this, they were God's people, they were God's people. But yet there was no fruit. And what Jesus turns and says to the disciples is if you have faith and you do not doubt, you will say to this mountain, move and it will be so loosely right. Yeah, that's it.

That's it. And just for some context, as they're walking back into Jerusalem, he doesn't say, you'll say to a mountain. He says to this mountain, and they're facing the mountain that the temple was on. And so what we're we're guessing and what we're thinking that Jesus is alluding to is that, hey, with your little bit of faith and with you believing in not doubting, like you will be the church. Yeah. And it's not in the substance of the things you do. It's not in the show of religiosity.

It's in the substance of faith, trusting purely in the work of God through Christ. And it's interesting that if the reference is and we can we can extrapolate that, it's probably that and if it is, the temple represents and that's that's where people would go to meet with God. That's where the dwelling place, the dwelling place, that's where

they would have interaction with God. That's where atonement for sin, like where their sin was dealt with through the sacrificial system, and so everything that the tuple represents, like he's literally saying that that all of that, right, could you know that's found in Christ through faith? And so the substance of faith is not the show of religiosity or the adjective oh yeah, I'm a Christian. It's it's truly a life of trusting God and the fruit that that produces

in your life not working for your salvation. You're working as a result from that salvation. This is not a that we're not sliding mis anonymous here. That's that emailed. But we're just making a point and everyone listening has they're thinking, Actually, I was wondering about that person that says they're such a big Christian, but I don't see it. Well, that's a bunch of leaves and no fruit. So where you could see the proof always in the fruit. You

guys know what I'm talking about here. I want to go to a question that I haven't I don't think I've seen anything like this before, and it's an interesting thing to address it. Says Hey Grangee, this is Cindy from Chico, California. I love all your podcasts and I love the Smiths. I have a question that maybe you could help me counsel on. I live with my adult child and their other half. They have no income, and

it seems like they are happy that way. I want to find another place to live, but my dilemma is that I can't find the place big enough for the three of us on a fixed income. But if I leave them, they will be penniless, and I've tried that once before. They just keep coming to me asking me for money to get things they need so that I can support them. My question is how do I do what's best for me and not feel like I'm abandoning

them and doing them wrong. In the end, I should add that my child has a disability that prevents them from getting a job and change that. Man, I was, I was about to go into that last sentence. I was, I'll tell you what I was going to say, because it might not be that far off. But Cindy, I hope you know that what you're doing out of love can and maybe a form of child abuse. Oh that's shocking, But what you're doing out of love in your mind

may be a form of child abuse. Until you said that your child has a disability, and then once again we would have to ask, well, what what disability is it? They have a spouse, so there, if they're functioning with a spouse, I would want to question, like why why can't they get a job? Why can't this the the better half get a job? But you are you are right to think at some level that it is time that you took care of yourself. You got to take

care of yourself. It is this is the scenario of the airplane where the mask, the oxygen masks pop out. You put yours on first, and then your child, and it sounds like you're constantly putting the oxygen mask on your child and you're running out of air and you can't breathe anymore. And it doesn't matter if they're an infant or an adult with a disability. You've got to put the mask on that. I can't say that these days, the oxygen mask on you first, because if you don't,

if you're not breathing, you can't help anybody. So Burns, where are you going with this? M Yeah, I do. The only thing she said about the disability is that it keeps him from getting a job. Right, It's interesting that she put them every time something like that, the sex of the child, Ye, the pronoun deal. Okay, yeah, I griz, I think you nailed it. I don't know if there's much more to this man like she well, no, the more is what does she do now? Yeah? Right, Like,

let's give her a let's give her a point of action. Okay, I think it's communication. You got to talk with the kids. I think, I mean again, just not knowing like the ages of them and a lot of story like, but I think you got to talk with them and communicate. Hey, I'm not in a healthy place here and I want us all to be healthy. One. Maybe she doesn't even maybe she recognizes it, that's why she's writing in. First

of all, it's a tough situation. I admire you for fighting through this and like help doing what you think you know you can do for your disabled child. I know that that probably wasn't an easy upbringing, so recognize the struggle you've been through. But also hopefully you have prepared them enough. They do have a spouse. I think you have the conversation and maybe whenever it becomes a group dialogue, hey guys, let's get a plan together, because

we all know this isn't going to continue. Y'all are broke. I'm almost broke. This place isn't big enough. What do we do? And so maybe bring him into the discussion and just kind of see and if they're just apathetic and like they don't want to contribute anything, then I think, yeah, so you can you can respond in that way. I have a big problem with this. If the disability is lower back pain or a bad need, that's true. He disability keeps him from getting I think us, all four

of us kind of thought mental disability, yeah, but severe. Yeah, this could be struggles with lower back pain. Yeah, can't lift anything. And if there if it's a disability that does not allow for them to work, then there's probably some sort of assistance, like financial assistance that's available. I would think, will you unpack why you said it's child abuse?

Because if you are enabling an adult to live with mommy and to live off mommy's food and money, you are It is a a not talked about form, but it is a major form of child abuse because you are you are by through your enabling, you are disabling them from growing and learning and going into the world and facing adversity and getting getting a job and losing a job and get in hunting for a job again, or getting some form of education or skill or trade.

You're you're inhibiting that by enabling them to feel comfortable, and that is a form of abuse. Yeah, it's almost like emotional like the physical would be like if you tiede your kid's hands together, people be like, that's child abuse. It's like your emotion. Yeah, kind of exact tying their hands together, not letting them, you know, learn how to use them. This is interesting, Cindy. It says your last and it says I will be seeing you in my

hometown on November sixteenth. What I want you to do, Cindy is I've never done this on this podcast, but i want you to email back that week and I'm going to get you a meet and greet on me, Brie on me. I'm going to get you a meet and greet, get you backstage. I'll get to put a face to the name. I've just never done this on this podcast. To be able to put a face to

the name and the story. I want to hug your neck and I want to I want to see you and I want to hear if there's been any kind of form of action, and if not, I want to hear it for myself. But I want to meet you in Chico and and you sound like you sound like you're ready, You sound like you're in, You're in a in a place to change, and I'm excited for you. So we got Chico and bull ride wherever. That is okay? Cool? So this could go a lot of different ways here.

How to introduce prayer to a two and a half year old life after loss? Getting into the word career, life advice, faith help for Chad? I think I think it means from a timely advice question and legalistic Christians. I picked side note. Everything I picked for the podcast today is fresh, like these emails just came in. I kept it all just right this week. Yeah, I'm on Jeopardy. I'll take getting into the word. That's great, I don't I feel like we've covered a lot of different topics today.

Does anything jump out to you? We've covered lost relationships. I kind of wanted to get into how to introduce a prayer to a two and a half year old? Yeah, hey, gring your my name is Monica and I'm the mother of two boys. Growing up, I was raised in a very religious household. Ever since college, having children, COVID, and all the other crazy events going on in today's world, my husband and I have been horrible about making time for church and prayer. How did you introduce your children

to God in prayer? What are some activities or conversations we could have with our sons to bring God back into our lives. My husband and I have been to your concert numerous times. We cannot wait to see you back in San Diego. Thanks Monica. The bigger concern than the children, This is like the oxygen mask thing. You know, you're worried about the children. When I'm looking at you, going, hey,

you got to get your oxygen mask on. You said you've been horrible about making time for church and prayer. And I love to say I love to quote this paraphrasing quote from Martin Luther when he said, I'm so busy right now. It's going to take me weeks to pray through all these things. And I love that medieval concept of prayer that was probably a lot closer to what the Apostles wanted us to think about it and

Jesus wanted us to think about it. Where it's like the busier you are, the more you better be praying. And I think we've totally gotten away from that, And you say, crazy events today's world. You've you guys have been busy with having children in college and COVID, and you've been horrible about making time. Well, the first way to introduce your kids to God, like your question is saying, is for you to engulf yourself in God. Kid comes out of their room and catches you on your knees

praying for them. That is the best example you could show. That is better than any recited dinner time prayer or nighttime go to sleep, have good dreams prayer. They walk in on mommy on her knees, eyes clenched, clothes, and her hands clasped praying for the salvation of their child. That's a beautiful image for a child to walk into. And and everything after that is going to trickle down. You put that oxygen mask on first, you make time for that church. Don't tell me you're too busy for church.

Everybody listening, don't tell me you're too busy. You're talking to four busy guys here. Don't tell us or anyone else you're too busy to go to church on Sunday. Find a time. There is a church in your town. You're in San Diego, monic, I'm not yelling at you. He's just far up our church somewhere. Chad could look one up if you don't have one. Chad is good at finding churches. But there is one that has a

service time that matches your schedule. It might be five o'clock on a Saturday, it might be five o'clock on a Sunday PM. It might be eleven am on Sunday. But there is there is a service and that you can give an hour and a half to And if you make that a priority, and you show your kids that we're getting dressed, we're going to church, why because we love God in this house? Then then everything, like I said, everything trickles down to you your original question

of how to introduce God. All right, I'll stop preaching. Now he's got this. Now that's good. I think. On one of the podcasts Grangeer, you answered a question similar to this with how you prayed with London like that night before maybe it was Lincoln the night before, And I really liked it and appreciated how you said, like you don't just go in and say like a recited prayer, but you're like very specific whenever you pray with them, and I thought that that was cool. I started using

that too. I think anytime, like meal times. I know it may seem cliche, but that has been when my kids are really little, a given opportunity because I'm not going to miss a meal, yes right, unless intentionally. And so we're gonna sit down and everyone's excited about food. So I would ask them, you know, what's your favorite part of this meal that we're about to have? And isn't it cool that God made food to be yummy? Yeah, that's He's a god that wants us to enjoy stuff.

Isn't that awesome? What's your favorite thing? And you just kind of have them go around and go, okay, you say thanks God for this being yummy. Thanks God, and you just at two and a half, they know that there's things they like, there's things that they get excited about. Sometimes they get scared, and so we would always talk to our kids like, you can absolutely come to us at night if you have a nightmare or you're scared, but you can also begin by just asking God to

help you get through this. And so giving them real practical They eat all the time and they like yummy things, and God could have made everything taste like wood or something, but it's yummy. So thank you God. That tells us a little bit about him that he wants us to have joy and experience the pleasure of food, and so

thank you for that. Have you guys ever had kids, or I know Parker, you've probably seen it with my kids, but have you ever seen kids really little walking around acting like they're talking on the phone and they're using a toy because they're imitating adults. Yep, they're seeing that. So imagine, imagine an invitation of a prayer. I'm doing what Daddy does, closes his eyes and puts his hands

together and he talks to God. I love seeing their little personalities come out, too, because each one of my kids will pray differently, like Boston's very like to the point like here I think for this food, Amy, Yeah, and Stella is like thirty minute sermon on her friends at school and her teacher and all of this different stuff, and then you'll get to the food so we can eat.

But but yeah, you're right, they're they're watching us to see how we do it, but it's also cool to kind of see how each one of them approach it. You know, their personalities start to kind of come out too. Have you ever heard them like sign off on a prayer like you do, and you're like, oh, I guess that's how I do it. Like they're saying things they don't know, right, Precious Heavenly Father, You're like like that, I'm gonna switch gears here and go to career life Advice.

It says, Hey, grand your name is Josh. I live just north of you in Colleen, Texas. I've been in the military for over eleven years now. I'm not getting the job satisfaction anymore. I have an entrepreneur mindset, and my wife and I want to pursue that path. We have a small micro brewery and we want to run and that we run, and we want to pursue opening our own business. Giving up not only job security but the benefits that come with the military is such a

hard choice. Retiring is an option, but I would much rather be home with my kids and family than what I currently do. What advice do you have for me? Josh, thank you for your service. I'm assuming you're at Fort Hood and we we want you to know that we could sit around microphones and talk about religion and life and freedom and post it to the world because of

the freedoms protected by men like you, Josh. So you don't have to hear that from me, but I want to tell you that this is a common This is this is a common theme right now of a dissatisfaction in a career. If there's something better, it's the old The grass is greener right burns of you and I looked at stuff like that. Oh yeah, the questions like this before. I think I think that this can go a couple different ways. Though he's been in the military for eleven years. I think that God can move us

two different things in different seasons. Right, So if this falls into one of the categories, the six categories that we're talking about, I think this may be go to the Word of God, like I feel like a lot of those will fall into this. But I think if you are spending time in the word Josh had mentioned that in here. Okay, well, I'm just advising this is

a good place to start. What's next for you is gonna I feel like it's gonna be revealed as you were just like saturating yourself, uh in soaking in God's word and asking him and giving your life to him. Jesus, I want you to be known through my life. Whether I'm doing this or that, it doesn't matter. Where do you want me to go? And let's go. I think that that could be one path that this question could fall into. The other one could be the whole contentment thing.

And I think you guys may have hit on this on the last podcast where we've or maybe it was you and I just about you know, somebody's not satisfied, they're not content in the job that they have, and it was there's kind of this question of like when did the generations kind of move towards this of like yeah, and I think it was you because we were talking about your did your grandparents change job? Yeah? They work?

That was not caught for thirty years. And dude, since that podcast, I remember just thinking about this and thinking about this, and I feel like something that just kept coming up that is much more prevalent now is options, right, and man, it is options in people that you're available to date because you now have like the access to the internet. It's things you can buy because you can

find the same thing and get it. The options of jobs, stuff, everything is endless, and it's creating so much discontentment and so much unsatisfaction with what we have because we're exposed to like all of this stuff and we believe this lie that, Oh man, if if I had that, I would be happy. If I had that, I would be happy. And all it's doing is keeping us from fully committing and being grateful for what we have in the moment. On social media, I know there's a lot of good

things about it. I think this is one of the absolute downfalls of social media is it is exposing people to things that are not real and they're not in their lives, and people are giving their time and energy thinking, man, I wish I could go to that place, I wish I could be with that. Man, I wish my husband looked like that. I wish my wife looked like that. And it's really just all of these options were just

bombarded with it. It's creating this lack of contentment. You're absolutely right, and that's probably where the microbrewery entrepreneur plan comes from too, is he's seeing an Instagram account. It's like, man, those guys are crushing it. They got they started up this microbrewery and now they've got their own brand. They're in HGB now, and Man, I could do that, and Josh.

Part of that is the American dream. And so I don't want to diminish the fact that our heritage as Americans, it came from people going there's got to be something better out there. There's got to be something better, and whatever it takes for me to provide for my family, I'll do it. So I don't want to take that away.

But just from a practical standpoint here, if you want to do this microbrewery thing, I would stay up later at night or get up earlier in the morning and try to start that while you're still working in the military. That maybe that's impossible. Maybe your wife could start. But don't just quit and start cold. That's tough. You're going to find yourself in a gap that you need another job quickly. So see if you can kick something going.

You know, you can get a label and get this out to some friends and see if it's something you really want to do. I think the other lie that's out there is that you can be famous, you can run a brewery, you can do this, you can be a CEO, and there's a book to tell you how to do all of that. And it's I think that a lot of people are like, I am entitled to this. They said that I can do this, So why is

it not happening for me? And you know the generation we were talking about, man, they started in the mailroom and they worked there for six years and then they moved up a little bit and they just there's no diligence, there's no you know, just sticking adherents, like sticking with something and going through it and feeling like a calling Like I think that, And I'll get off my soapbox now. The Jesus is going to provide for you far more than the American dream hands down. That's like a T

shirt wouldn't sell very much. Noyea. The cameras are ready to reset, so I don't. I just don't want to quit yet. So we're about done for anyone that's listening, We're just about done. But I'm going to re set the cameras real quick and finish this. What you got ched? Well, I kept thinking as you guys were talking about this, that there is a what Bernie says about this instant

gratification in this sense of entitlement is pretty pervasive. And we're not necessarily accusing the you know, the writer of this question of that, but there is that. It's very pervasive in our culture, and I think we all have to guard against that. And in First John, one of the letters in the New Testament, he talks about don't

love the world or the things of the world. And the things of the world are lust of the flesh, right, are appetites the things that you know, this instant gratification. I want this, and I've just got this urge and I need to fulfill that urge, the lust of the eyes. Right. I see things that I want and I need to have them. Right. I'm not content with here, but I look out there and I go, oh, I want that.

And then he says this phrase, the boastful pride of life, right, this idea of status, like if I have status, if I have stuff, and if I can satiate these appetites, then then I'll be good. And what we find is the more that we get of all of that stuff, we find ourselves increasingly more hungry because they don't satisfy. And so he says, rather to abide in God. That is where ultimate satisfaction will come, is when we abide

or live in and dwell with Him. So, Josh, your question, really to yourself needs to be Am I truly not happy with my job? Or is it something deeper? Is it myself? Am I not finding something in me that's missing? Or is it just Hey, I'm actually just burnt out. And I think I could actually run a micro brewery. And can you do them simultaneous? I don't know, That's what I was thinking. At least get it started so that it's not a cold turkey, you know, quit the

job and start something new. Maybe you could drop off a case at ee Farms. That would be great just down the road, right, Josh and everyone else that emailed, I hope that you never felt like I was, or any of us were yelling at you. The reason I get passionate is because I feel myself in your question. Yeah, sure, I'm not any better than you. I don't know any more than you. I just I feel because I'm a human. So with all these are like the ghostings of friends.

And you know, I can't tell Amber I'm ready to quit the marriage, but but I feel that human sentiment in that I feel myself deep down inside going, yeah, I agree, what's the answer. And so I get passionate because we all know that you could answer things with trust or communication or run to Jesus as fast as you can, and you could answer almost all of these and so I love answering them and I get pass

not because I feel better, but I feel you. I feel me in this question, so that that career life advice question is it's common and a lot of people. I read it on this episode because I know a lot of people ask me something like this, and I think it. I think we'd all four of us would be lying if we said we don't think this. Sometimes we don't think am I really gonna do this forever? And we all have really cool jobs. So that says something. Donald Trump said that I wonder what could be next.

Donald Trump said that before he was president. Then he probably said it sitting in the Oval Office. I bet I bet you thought, how long am I going to do this? Like? Right, I could never be never in their everyone's everyone's going to have that because they're human, and part of it can become very destructive, and part of it could create the United States of America. To what it became with that mentality. I think another category that these things could kind of fall into and be

answered by maybe is community. And so this couple, I would say, your community friends. If you don't have a community of friends, find them, push into them, serve them, give yourself to it, and just talk to hey, Parker, I'm thinking about doing this thing. And he may be like, man, I've always seen the way that you handled this and this, and I actually know somebody I can like plug you in and you I think that you would be really good at this and get affirmation from them and support.

And I think it's I think it's very and you know, I don't know if this is right, but I feel like it's very rare where you wake up one day and God says do this, and it's like you have to decide in a moment. I feel like he just starts to kind of like nudge at you a little bit, and and then you go to his word and you're like, sis, what I feel. I'm feeling this? And then you talk to your community and you talk to your wife or you know, whoever, and talk to your friends, and I

think you could get there that way. I think that's community is definitely so good. And what you mean, Burns is I would go to I would go to the general and talk to him about this. I'll talk to I would talk to the retired guy. You don't talk to the guy that's that's active, because you can find out you're not happy with your job. But I'd go to the retired general that works at the cigar shop in Slaedo, Texas or whatever and just say, sir, can I can I run something by you? And he's probably

gonna go, I know exactly how you feel. And then I would go to the micro brewery guy, the guy the guy at the brewery and go the guy that's successful and go, I talk to you about something, and he might look you in the eye and go, don't get into this business. It's not what it looks like. It's terrible and we're fighting to pay the rent every day. You don't know, so that that community, that that's the wise counsel that it's also just such a great answer

to any question. So, guys, episode one, thank you for thanks for being on it, Thanks for everyone for watching a little extra well, dude, thank you. Can we just say that, like one, thank you for having you know us on here, but to thank you that you continue to pursue this calling unapologetically and put out the kind of content that you do, and we, I think are all privileged to get to walk with you in this. It's fun stuff. So and I can say you asked me one time, like, you know, why do you come

from so far? Whatever? I was thinking about Eye Nation. Anybody out there listening to this, if you called them and said, can you come to the podcast? You have to drive an hour and have to get here, they would be like yes. So I think all of us are like, man, of course, of course we're gonna come, because anyone out there would probably do the same thing, just to sit and chop it up with you. Man, Thanks buddy, appreciate you guys, and congrats one hundred. Yeah.

Once sword a guy said that he wouldn't listen to a podcast unless there's been at least one hundred episodes, because he said that's how long it takes. Who was able to facilitate a conversation and host it? Well, I don't remember, but I remember that too. People can officially start listening now I guess at it's actually a legit podcast. We have one hundred et it. I understand all right, Love you guys. We'll see you next time, one on one. Ye thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I

appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye un, don't