I Left Music Because It Was a Sin

remember playing. I was playing football with Chris Lane, who was another artist on tour at that time, and I remember throwing the football. I was like, I gotta go. I gotta get back on the bus. This was back when I was doing the podcast on Wildloower my bus and he was like, what are you doing? What do you gotta go? And I said, I got to go to a podcast and he was like, why did you do that? There was probably a good question then it might be a good question now. I love it. I

love it. It's a huge honor to answer your questions. You could email me podcast at grangersmith dot com. We could talk about anything. I don't have notes in front of me right now. I think probably the lane that this podcast stays in is kind of in the way that you would ask me a question and we're sitting together in the cap of a truck or sitting around a campfire, and we got some time. You say, he got to run something by you. And at that point I wouldn't say, well, let me put some notes together

and get back to you next Saturday. I would need to answer you right away. So that's kind of where we are with this podcast. That's the format of it. And I think that's also why it would be cool to do this podcast live and travel around and go to to some different cities and hand out some microphones and answer on the fly. We may do that one day. I hope we do. Tyler keeps pushing me on it. In the meantime, we're gonna do it right now in the form of you Emailing Me podcast At grangersmith dot com.

I pulled up this first email and I recognize the name. It's my buddy Clay, who is a deep thinker. He is a dog breeder German short haired pointer at Woeelly Kennel, and Clay is a great dude. And I know he's gonna I don't know what he's about to ask me, but I can tell you right now. It's gonna make me think. So. The first email here once again is podcast at grangersmith dot com, and Clay says, Granger, I've been pondering your view on pride, and just like that,

here we go. Welcome to the episode, he says, knowing that pride is the queen of all vices, and the vices of all queens, the vice of all queens. And I've been reluctant to use that word, he says, after hearing that you refrain from telling your children you're proud of them. I started reflecting on that word and the feeling of pride. I have come to the conclusion that pride and someone else's accomplishments can't be sinful, but pride

in oneself is the true sin of pride. When you're at the ballgame and the national anthem is playing, and the fighter jets are flying over, and you stand a little bit taller and your shoulders reared back, that's pride in our nation and honor for the ones who fought to build and preserve our country. When we change out the word pride for honored or pleased in conversation, it's merely semantics. How could we avoid that feeling that we get at a ballgame, and why should we avoid it?

He asked, PS, hopefully you'll come to Kansas City for the live podcast sometimes between November first and March first, so we could run some bird dogs together. Take care of Clay. Hey, Clay, thanks for making me think. Great question, buddy, and let's dive into it. I'm going to tell you right off the bat, the first thing that comes to my mind is when you said, you said I have come to the conclusion. I'll tell you right now, I have not come to a conclusion and I probably won't.

Hopefully I'll stay unconcluded for a long time. So you're a step ahead of me. But I'll tell you this. Here's my thoughts on this. Pride, arguably in the Bible, is God's most hated sin. God hates pride in us more than any other sin, and he is I say that because that is more vocalized in the Bible than

any other. God's hatred for sin for pride. Right on the flip side, humility is God's most rewarded attribute of one of his children in terms of he speaks more about humility and the benefits of it and his how well he pleased. He is with it than any other attribute you could say, and I'm including love in that, so that's not lost on me. He also pins God will pin pride and humility against each other many times.

Luke fourteen eleven, for instance, says, those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. So it's always it's always flipped. It's always the reward for humility, and it's always the punishment, the disdain, the hatred for pride, and so we should eradicate it at all costs. We should work on humbling ourselves. I think humility comes in two ways. As we see in the Bible, we see that we are humbled by God. God humbles

us through people, circumstances, situations. We will be humbled if we live on planet Earth, we just will be. We can't control everything, and things will happen that shut us down. The other aspect is we are called to humble ourselves. How do we do that? That's something we have to actively do every day. We're called to humble ourselves. I think that starts with, first of all, seeing God for who he is and us for who we are. We're sinful creatures. He is a sinless creator. He is separated

from us. God is separated from his creation, and in a vast distance that we can't even begin to comprehend how much different he is. We are created in his image, but that does not mean we are we are beings like him. We are not like him. God is set apart, he is wholly, He is different from all of his creation. This is called in systematic theology. It's it's they use

the term creator creation distinction or creation creator distinction. That's just the idea that that we're not like him, and and to ponder on that, to meditate on the distance between us and God is mind boggling and humbling, right that that's why it humbles us. And then that's why it also takes us to the gospel that Jesus closed

that gap of separation. He came to us because God is so far from us indifference and who he is and his being in our being that Jesus, knowing we could not come to God, came to us God the Father, since God the Son, to us to close that gap of separation. He came in. He entered humanity as a man, lived the perfect life that we couldn't live, and then went to the cross as the ultimate form of humility.

Think about what God did to humble himself in this aspect. God, the creator of the universe, comes to earth, and he becomes a lowly carpenter's son and a lowly little nothing village with a lowly people, and he lives a lowly life that's wild. He was born in a cave in a manger with animals because there was no room for

him at the end. If you read the Bible, you see the value that God gives in humility, humbling ourselves, and so much so that he models it by going to the cross and dying, and that death becomes really the attack on pride itself becomes that death on the cross becomes what defeats pride in us in all other sin. That's the gospel. So to ponder that, to ponder the vastness of God and the finite the creatures that we are, that is a huge way to humble ourselves. Look at

it this way. God needs nothing. God doesn't need us at all. He exists only because He exists, and he exists outside of any kind of need or growth or desire or want or longing or craving anything. It's all alone in that, and we are totally dependent upon him. If God doesn't exist, I don't exist. If I don't exist, God still exists. Right. A good way to think about this is when we go to sleep, and we are totally dependent upon God. When we're sleeping, we have no

control over anything. When we're sleeping, we're unconscious to the world, and yet our body, as God sustains it, as sustains us, just keeps operating or it doesn't. It all depends on Him, not us. We can't control our own sleep. That's a humbling thought. So that's one way and probably the first way we should always start. Besides, you know, going to the Bible, learning more about who God is, concentrating on spiritual disciplines, making sure we eradicate pride from our lives.

And that's that's why I don't want to use that word around my kids. I don't want to tell my kids I'm proud of you and said I want to. I want to be careful with that word. And I think Clay's right that that could be semantics, and I agree with you. Aren't you just trading out one word for another? Yes? But I'm But I'm also with my mind trying to take captive every thought and saying I don't even want that word in my mind so that it doesn't it doesn't find its way back into my life.

And I don't want to model that for my kids and use that word and say, well, it's okay to say it here. It's just not okay to feel it. You're on your own. And so I try to use the language that the Bible will use. God says, not that I'm God, but I'm trying to use I try to emulate that language. I try to be like that, which is what we're called the dude as Christians. And so God of His Son of Jesus, he says, this is my son whom I'm well pleased. It doesn't say

this is my son whom I'm proud of. So we should we should mark that and go, Okay, there's something to that. I don't know exactly what it is, and I I agree with all what Clay is saying, but I think as we dig deeper, there's something sinister in there. I think it is even standing at the ball game and the Fighter Jets fly over and you stand taller in your shoulders back and you say I'm proud of my country, and I agree with you, Clay, I think

there's something sinister deep down in there. I think there's something sinister even about telling your kids you're proud of them. It's not I'm not saying don't encourage your kids. I'm not saying don't tell them. Hey, I'm so pleased with you. I'm so happy with what you've done. You work so hard, and I'm so pleased with the hard work that it's paying off. I love to see that in you. That's

okay to do, that's great. I'm just saying, let's avoid that word i'm proud of you, because there's something sinister in that. And think, think with me for a second. I wouldn't say I wouldn't see the Olympics and see China do something and think I'm proud of China. I'm not. I wouldn't be proud of China. I could say I'm impressed, Wow, I'm super impressed with what China did. In the same way, I wouldn't see a kid in the Middle East or

Asia or Africa someplace far from here. I wouldn't see a kid and go I'm really proud of that kid. He did something on TV or on the news and it was, you know, respectable, and I wouldn't say I'm proud of that kid. Why Why would I not say it? Because I'm only proud of things that are connected to me, and so deep down, somewhere, deep down, even when I'm at the ballgame and the Jets are flying over, I'm saying, I'm proud of my country. I'm proud of the men

that fought to preserve the freedom that we have. I'm proud of it. Why am I proud of it? Why would I use that word? Because deep down that word pride is because it benefits me. At the end of the day, when I'm looking out at the rest of the world, I say, I'm proud of this. I'm proud of my country because that's where I'm from and it

makes me look good. And we don't admit that. But I think if we go down to the very root of that word and what it means and what the Bible says that it is, I believe we find in ourselves that it is just about ourselves. We say the same thing about our kids that we say, I'm proud of you, son, and what we mean by that At the core of it, without even thinking about it, we mean, you make me look good because you are my son.

You make my family name worthwhile, because you just did something that made me look good to the outside world, to everyone looking in. I wouldn't say that to the kid down the street. I wouldn't see a kid who hit a baseball and go up and go, I'm proud of you. Unless it was my community that he was representing and we were going against another community, or it was my state going against the rest of the state, or it was in my country going against another country.

Then I would say, I'm proud of you because you benefit me, you make me look better. I'm from here, i was born here, and you just made me look a little bit better to other people watching. That's why I'm proud of you. We don't say that, but I think deep down in the core of it, it's rotten. So it's so hard to be on a podcast and to talk about humbling myself because in the very nature of being on a podcast, it's very difficult to not try to exalt myself and look, how look, how humble

I am. Hey, let me tell you all how good I am it'd being at showing humility. Look how good I am at displaying humility. It's awful, right, It's rotten to the core. It's hard to even talk about. So because of all these reasons, Clay, I choose to not even bring that word into my life, to not model it in front of my children. And I think it's a good conversation starter. Why does Dad say silly things like I'm so well pleased with you? Oh, you don't know?

Because he believes the language of the Bible is so fierce against pride that he will do anything to remove that, even from his own language. To us, it's a disease and he doesn't want to spread it any further. I think that's there's nuance to all these questions. But I think that's where I am right now. Next question comes from Pamela says, Hey Granger recently started loving Christian music, many artists and many genres. I find such peace when listening.

I heard you say in your podcast several months ago that there was a side to it that you could speak to at some point, or something to that effect. Could you please dive deeper into this? For me, music has always been important to me. But obviously following and maintaining my relationship with Jesus is my main focus. Thanks for all you do in christ Pamela, Hey Pamela, thank you great question. There's there's no deep secrets I have

about Christian music. I could just tell you that Christian music, just like any other genre, country music, rap music, rock music, popped me all of it. If it's a business and it's selling big numbers, then it has a team built around it that really are all about that those numbers. There is no team in any kind of music business if they are promoting big business, big big numbers, and as far as like the artist is singing in arenas and touring, there is no group that is free of this.

And I think it's probably a good example to go back to Luke fourteen eleven. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, Whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Jesus said that, and I think it was serious. I think we should take them seriously about this. I think let me get back to that, because that that's a key that's a key piece for me. You know, Parker told me one time, because I talked I talk often about especially with closed doors.

I talked often about why I left music, and Parker says, hey, you should say that more often, because I don't think people quite know. I think I think they think you left music because it was taken up too much time, or you just your heart wasn't in it anymore, or you were you you wanted to be with your family more, or you just didn't love it like you used to. You know, all these things, And the real reason was it was a sin for me because I was exalting myself.

And I don't think there's any other way around it. I don't, and I would, I would speak pretty firmly about this that I don't think you could be in an arena and there are a Christian artists that do this on a regular basis, And perhaps I'll get I'll get bolder and bolder in my discussions about this because I don't think anyone can avoid it. And I used to use language like this is just me. I'm just speaking for myself. But it's nearly impossible for anyone to

be in a thirty thousand seat arena full. They're on a stage and they're singing about Jesus and everyone's singing along with them. And it's very difficult for that person not to start thinking highly of themselves in that way, and there is corruption that follows. Hate's really connected to the question we just had about pride. I would choose, as a Christian to eradicate every chance that I might have to exalt myself and instead replace that with a

chance to humiliate myself. Really, and it's not that, it's not that just at the last few years, I was really exalting myself. I was always doing that because you have to. It's a business. If you want to grow, if you want to succeed in the music business, your numbers need to grow. If you want to put fuel and the buses and the truck and pay all the salaries of all the crew. If you want to grow, your numbers have to keep growing, and if they're not,

you're failing. And so in order to grow, you need to exalt yourself. You can't get away with not exalting yourself. You can't say this is just not about me. And then you're out in the middle of an arena, on the in the middle of a stage with all the lights literally all about you, and the microphone all about you, and everyone that bought a ticket. It's literally the ticket is all about you, the billboard is all about you, the advertising for the show, it's all about you. If

it wasn't all about you, then they wouldn't come. You wouldn't say, Hey, there's a random, contemp very Christian concert down at the arena. You want to come, And people aren't lining up for that. They're lining up for the individual. It has to be all about the individual, and you have to praise them, and you have to literally worship them, and you have to go otherwise they're failing. So this was always happening with me since the beginning of music business.

I was always doing this, and it wasn't until I was a Christian, a reborn Christian, not a cultural Christian that I said I was forever, but until I was a reborn Christian it started to feel disgusting to me. And I made it for several years in it before it was just too much to bear. I am exalting myself. I am needing people to praise me, I am needing people to worship me. I wouldn't use that kind of language because that sounds weird, it sounds idolistic, but it is.

It is people aren't made to be worshiped. They are not. They since the beginning of time, look back in history, anyone that was worshiped or praise greatly ended up being a really either really weird, really isolated. Are they committed suicide or they died because they ate too many peanut butter jelly sandwiches in the middle of the night. That's just the way it is. No one ends up okay, No super megastar ends up in the end. Okay, they're

a happy person. Everything's normal about their lives. It's not ever like that. Not ever. You can't give me a single example when someone was a megastar, they had mega influence and you looked at them as an actual normal human being. It starts affecting you. It's that disease. It's that disease of pride. It starts starts carving away at the very essence of what makes you human. Humans are not made to be worshiped in any way. And this is not a knock on Christian music. It's not country music,

it's not rock music. It's the actual idea that a man or a woman could be at the center of all that attention and still be okay. There is extreme corruption in the Christian music industry. I've seen it. But that's not a knock again on that industry. It's all of it. It's all of it. Okay. So Pamela, what does that mean for you? Because if you listen to a Christian song and you feel closer to Jesus, I think that's great, and I think that's it's a great

thing to do. It's a great that's a great thing to listen to as opposed to all the other stuff you could be all this stuff you could be filling your mind with. I think it's great to listen to that. But there's a nuance because then I say, or are

we doing this on Sunday morning? Because if it's Sunday morning, I want to know that we're singing songs about that, we're mixing in songs with who God is, and we're staying away from the boyfriend Jesus songs Chris and I Chris Lee, We're we're speaking at a men's group, and I've spoken many of them this year, so you guys wouldn't be able to identify the one which one I'm

calling out. But sometimes the songs are so horrible because they are contemporary Christian songs that we're singing at a men's gathering, and it's it's like we're at a pop concert and the songs. I told Chris, I said, if you can, his wife's name is Alison. I said, if you could replace Jesus or God in the song for the name Alison, if you could easily replace it. And every song is like that, then it's a boy This is a boyfriend thing. This is Jesus the boyfriend. Oh,

you do so much for me. You are you are all that I need. When I'm lonely, I go to you, and you are you feel everything in me. You know, this is Jesus the boyfriend, but we're not learning anything

about who he is. And so that's why I caution against that on Sunday morning, because it's great for you in the car, and I don't mean to make fun of it, because if you're singing in the car, you're you're you're singing in in the living room, in the kitchen, you're you're, you know, you're brushing your teeth and you got it playing and it's like you're all I need, Jesus, you are all I need. All I need is Jesus Great. I think that's good that that stuff should be going.

But if you're in church on a Sunday morning, you also need to know about who he is, not just your need for him. Who is he? And and remember that that creator creation distinction. We need to start knowing He is holy, he is different. We are in need of him because of this, and he is this because of this, and my situation is this, and so therefore I need him because of this. We need we need to know, We need to know some scripture. We need to know who he is in these songs so that

that's the nuance Sunday mornings. We need to be deeper, We need to we need to dig deeper. If you could replace your boyfriend or your girlfriend's name with the Jesus or God in the song and every single song is like that, there's a problem. That's a me centered worship. We got to stay clear of that. If you have a small business, especially e commerce like we do at Ee Apparel, you might want to hear about what I

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period at shopify. Dot com slash Granger all lowercase. Go to shopify dot com slash Granger to upgrade your selling today shopify dot com slash Granger. If you want to get a hold of me, go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith and I could send you a video message made right here on my phone whatever you want me to say, Happy birthday, happy anniversary. It's a great way for you and I to stay in contact and to get someone a gift that might seem to have everything. Hey,

get him a gift at cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. Okay. Next question comes from Gloria and she says, hey, Grangeer, I have a Catholic friend, and I believe any religion can be saved. He says, I am a lost soul and that's how I was raised. I believe he was manipulated into thinking Catholic is the only way. I believe. No religion is better than others, but it's what you believe in your heart. He believes you don't have to be born again to go to heaven. His sister is

also married to to my brother. Sorry, this caused two of my brothers to become Catholic. I know you can't get unsaved, but it's influencing my nieces and nephews and my other in laws that aren't religious. I don't want to start a fight, but I really would like to see them in heaven. How could I witness to them? Okay, Glory, let me try to follow you here. There's one part I wanted to read again because I haven't read this question till just now. This caused two of my brothers

to become Catholic. I know you can't, you can't get unsaved, but it's influence. Okay. I believe that I would need a lot of follow up on this. So with so many of these questions I need, I need some more information, and you can't give it because you're not here with me. And that's okay. So we're just gonna go with what I know. That creates the nuance that just so you know, there's missing information I would want to want to follow up on. But here's my questions. One, you said I

believe any religion can be saved. You say, he says, I'm a lost soul and that's how I was raised. And then you say I believe no religion is better than others. But it's what you believe in your heart. Okay, So technically, yeah, any religion can be saved. No religion is better than another, I mean technically, but that's like the beginning of the conversation. Because no one is saved unless they believe in Jesus as their lord. That's what

the Bible says. So that includes cultural Christians, that includes cultural Catholics, that includes LBS, that includes Muslims, that includes Buddhist, Hindu, atheists, everybody, everybody, without distinction, all of them have nothing until they have Jesus, until they have faith in Jesus. That's what the Bible says.

So you're not going to be saved unless you believe and you trust for Jesus that jesus death on the cross and resurrection was sufficient for forgiving your sins, and you turn to him by faith, repenting of your old life, and you put on the new self, turned to him by faith. That's called a new birth. Jesus talks about this in John three. And it's interesting to your friend here because Jesus says unless one is born again, he cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. That goes directly against

what your friend says. He believes you don't have to be born again to go to Heaven, so that's alsoly not a Catholic wouldn't believe that either. So what we're probably dealing with here is nominal Catholicism, right. I believe there are Catholics. I know there are Catholics who are saved, but I believe it is a because of it, because of the lower view of scripture. Historically, it's a dangerous place to be, and I think being a Protestant might

be more dangerous than that. Honestly, from what I've seen it, as much as I've traveled, as much as I've seen churches, I think being a Protestant that is content with a cheap version of grace. Jesus saved me. I believe in Jesus. I do I need to, don't need to do anything. I'm just you know, it's order saved by grace, So I don't you know, nothing in my life is different. Yeah, I'm born again. It's all lip service, I think. I think being a Protestant, especially in the Bible Belt of America,

is a very very dangerous cultivation of cultural Christianity. It's like a Petri dish for cultural Christianity. So so I think being a nominal Catholic, being in being, in being anything other than a than a born again believer in Jesus is not going to save you. You're you are on the broad way, You're not on the narrow path. So, Gloria, there are so many questions I have for you, and and I you know, I know, so I want to

I want to dive deeper into this. But the only thing you say, I don't want to start a fight, but I really like to see them in heaven. How can I witness to him? You got to tell them the gospel. That's what witnessing is. You. You love them, you have an urgency for their souls, and you you you you care for them, and you tell them the gospel. That's that's a wide general answer, but that is the answer. There is no other way. There's no other way to

do it. There's no special secret. Apologetic you say, I believe he was manipulated into thinking Catholic is the only way. That's what you said, Jesus is the only way. It's not being a Protestant, it's not being a Catholic, it's not being anything. It's being a follower of Christ and taking him at his words. It's literally taking the Bible and reading it for what it is and what it says.

It is inspired by God, the word of God, and living it out and so that the life that you live reflects the changed person that you are because of Jesus, who gave you a new heart. It's from the work of the Holy Spirit that has regenerated you and to something that you weren't before. You were once dead in your trespasses, and you're regenerated into a new person. And then slowly, through this thing that the Bible calls sanctification, you're slowly becoming more and more made into the image

of Christ. And this is a hard process. And as you're reborn and you're saved and you're now a new creation, the Bible says, and second Crint deans you are. You are a new creation. And because of that, you you're separated from the world. You're you're now you're now set apart from the world, but you still have old tendencies. Look, i am I heard a guy say it like this. When you're born again, it's like buying a house, right. A professor told me this. You buy the house and

you get the keys and you close. You go to you go to the closing office, the title company, and you get the keys and you go to your house. You're born again. It's your house, right, it is your house. But it becomes more and more your house as you start to live in it and live it out. You bring in furniture, you paint a wall, you change things. You over some years, you remodel, you do something to

the landscape. More and more it becomes more and more your house, even though it's always when you were born again and when you got the keys you closed, it was your house, but it was a lot more your house ten years down the road, and even much more your house twenty years down the road than it was the day you first walked over that threshold. So that sanctification. You are christ, You are a Christian, but you're more and more in His image. As you're sanctified in the

old house starts to slowly go away and disappear. In the new house is being further built out. That's the only way. It doesn't matter where you came from. It doesn't any religion could turn into this. So when you say there's no religion a better than another, I agree, but it all has to be in that house wherever you come from, it has to go there, it has to come through Jesus, and you have to be born again. Encourage you to go back. Can read John three the

whole chapter. Nico Demons is asking questions in the middle of the ninete, going I don't understand this, and Jesus says, you're telling me you've been a teacher of the law and you don't understand what it means to be born again. It's an interesting conversation. I think anyone would do well going back and thinking through that, and it might change your perspective. I don't know what you mean by any religion can be saved, but it might change that as well.

And I don't know. Without any further questions, I don't know. I don't know if I've answered you or correctly or not. But I think the main question is how could I witness to him? And I say, you tell them the Gospel and you will love him, live it out, live it out in front of him, and that's the way it is. Next question comes from John. It says, hey, Grangeer, my name is Ben. I don't know. I don't know

how that happened. Either aunt man who put this together wrote the wrong name, or that's actually the email was John And anyway, my name is Ben. I love your podcast. I went back and listened to all of them. Wow. My question is, how would you handle having a foster child for a year and then got the opportunity to adopt, But the child will not bond with your wife, but only bonded to you. We're having this problem right now. My wife is trying so hard to bond, but he

has nothing to do with her. And he is our first placement in foster care since we've been licensed. We love him and we would love to have a child, but we found out that having our own will be very challenging due to my medical issues. We have made the most challenging decision that we'll ever have to make by having him placed in a new home because he's just not bonding with my wife and treating her badly. She so wants to bond. Thanks, have a blessed it

all right? Hey, Ben, thanks for the email. It's super vulnerable and I appreciate you bringing me into this. So let me scan for a mention of God. You know, you know, I gotta do that because if God's not at the center of this, it's just not going to work anyway. If God's not that, If if God and his love and grace is not the driving influence behind this fostering, then I wouldn't I want to do it. Okay,

I don't think there's another way to say it. And brother, I love that you're you're in this foster care system. I mean, God bless you for that. It's amazing. That's totally selfless. Going back to the very first question, that's a great way to humble yourself by going down the to fostering. There is a there's a great amount of humility in that saying my time, my space, my material

goods I'd now offer to you. And there's such a biblical connection to that, to what we get as sinners saved by grace, as God saves us and regenerates us, and then we become co heirs of the kingdom that Jesus gets by divine right. We get to share as

we get to share the inheritance of the kingdom. So there is a there's an interesting biblical connection between fostering and that and that we didn't deserve it in the same way that you could make an argument this that the foster child doesn't deserve to be fostered to have a good, loving family, just like we don't deserve it, and God brings us in. Okay, So I want to I want to go there first and say that the

gospel should drive this, all of this. And if the Gospel drives it, and you're like we said on the last question, if you're born again Christian, then you would be involved in a local church and you would be serving in that local church, and they would be serving you, and you would be loving as a brother and that local church and they will be loving you as a fellow sibling, brothers and sisters in Christ. And these kind of decisions would be made in community, which we've talked

on this podcast. If you've listened to every episode, you've probably heard how much I hammered down on the community of the local church, and its existence is in essence the body, the Body of Christ. And so in the Body of Christ, we operate as different members and we function together as a system. And so you go through something really serious like a divorce or the loss of a child, or the fostering of a child, or the

loss of a job, all of these things. You're brought into the family that functions as a system, and you go to your brothers and sisters and you say, having some problems, can you pray for us? Can you give us some counsel? What did you do when you did this? What did you do? What would you do? These are things that they can come over and they could help you with. So let's start there. You're going to need that. And I can understand how this child is just not

bonding with your wife. That's not too far fetched. We would never be so arrogant into thinking, not that you are, but we would never be so arrogant to think that we could bring in a child and this child's going to love us because of who we are. A foster child has so many needs that need to be met in a unique way, and sometimes I think it's just it's not going to be the right match. Do you hope that it is and you pray that it is,

but just sometimes it's just not. And so you wouldn't want to bring this child in and say, hey, you need to make this work because this is this is what life has dealt you right now. I don't think you would go that route with a foster child. I think they've they've been dealt enough, and so I think I would work closely with the local church, and I

would work very closely with this agency. They should be they should be in this with you, and I think they probably are, and they're going to eventually you're gonna land and say, hey, we just can't. We can't fit this square peg in a round hole. The kid doesn't love my wife and he's actually treating her badly to the point of maybe, I don't know, maybe there's some kind of physical altercation that could happen, Maybe there's a

threat on her life. Maybe I've seen that before. And if you got to that point, it's just not the right fit, and your heart breaks. My heart breaks for that thought, my heart breaks for the foster kid. But but that doesn't change the fact that we should make it. Even though it doesn't my heart breaks into we should

make it fit. I think at some point you get your wives counsel, you get your church wrapping their arms around you, you're working closely with this agency, and together you go, I don't think it's the right fit, and so we're gonna We're gonna go to a plan B and that means we're gonna work together on finding another family that that they work, they could reciprocate love back and forth with each other, and there's not weirdness, there's

not a threat of possibly there being a danger. Because still, even even though your heart is in the right place and I love that you're you're doing this and you're bringing this foster child in, still that doesn't that doesn't change the fact that your wife is your priority in this household. She is your priority in this household. If you don't make sure that's right, and you try to fix something that's that can't be fixed, you try to force something that just is not gonna fit, uh, then

your jeting your own marriage. And if you jeopardize your marriage, then there's no chance for any of this. There is no chance for a future fostering, There is no chance for adoption. It's over if you don't get this fixed. And so put your priority on her, love her, hear her, acknowledge her, have compassion on her, because she looks like sounds like she desperately wants this fostering thing to work, and it's just not. And so wrap your arms around

her and say, honey, if you're an amazing wife. I love you so much and my heart breaks that it didn't work with this child because I know you wanted it to. But we trust God he's sovereign, and we're not going to force this if it just if we've done, if we've responsibly done everything that we can do and it's not working, then this could be to the detriment of the child, and we don't want that. We want

what's best for the child in the situation. The child's been through enough, and so you love her in that way, and you're a team and you work together and you push forward together as one unit, functioning unit, husband and wife. And don't let these the the feeling of you've got

medical issues and you couldn't give her a baby. Don't you dare let that creep in, because because if you start to think, if you let that deceitful idea creep into this marriage, that you need to make this fostering work because you have medical problems, you couldn't give her a baby, and so this is you are hurting her and you're you're ruining her chances of being a mother because you have a flaw, and so you need therefore, you need to make this fostering thing work. That is dangerous.

Run from that, destroy that feeling within you. Don't let it creep into your marriage at all. And I think you're gonna be good if you take this advice. I think you're gonna be good. I'm not going to start another I have another one. I'm not gonna start it. I'll put it on next week because we're running out of time. But I love you guys, and we'll see you next podcast. Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could

help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. Yig