I don't want to lose her!

their significant other, but the truth is we can't. However, I can't imagine. I don't want to imagine life without her. Very special occasion on the podcast to have my wife, my favorite guest, my favorite returning guest. You haven't been on the podcast in a long time. I have not. It's good to be back. Do I sound different when I'm talking on a podcast than I do when I'm talking to you? No? Okay, good, no proof right here? What you hear from me on this podcast is the

way I talk. This is true. Okay. We're going to answer some questions with Amber Smith Amber Emily Smith on Instagram, more famous than I am and every meet and greet I do. People are like, I came to see Amber is Amber here? And I usually say no, I know, and I didn't get to I didn't get to hug a lot of people last week, but I was there. We've been torn like crazy. In fact, when this podcast comes out, we will have just gotten back from Illinois, Ohio,

and Michigan for the first time since the pandemic. Getting back to those three states. Yeah, and I feel like going to those states is going to be like kicking over an ant pile where they're just ready. Yeah, they've been contained for too long. Yeah, I know, I know that. Yeah, they're just gonna be insane. And then after that we're it's just touring has been crazy, So you're going to be super busy through the fall. Yeah, yeah, which is which is exciting and something that we missed and we

need to get back out and do. And I was telling I was gonna tell you, and I'll tell you on this podcast. I want to set up a daily FaceTime because we FaceTime a lot with the kids when I'm gone, but I want to set up a time. Okay, so it's like four fifteen we FaceTime every day. That way we always know like, oh, it's on the schedule. Yeah, we need to put in the calendar. Sometimes we'll call and we'll miss each other, you know, so yeah, let's

do that. Okay, perfect. So we're answering questions. I'm going to take off my bracelets right because I think they're making noise. We're going to answer questions from you guys. If you have anything at all, email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. Could be about any subject, and

it could be for any of my guests. For you regular listeners, thank you, and you've heard many many of the repeat guests come through here, like Bernie and Chad and Amber's one of them, Christians one of them, Parker's one of them, Tyler, And if you like one guest more than another, it helps me. If you comment below, I like them all, and you're my favorite, You're my favorite? Who's your favorite? Besides you? Can you even say that's

like you're going to really? No? I really love you and Bernie together, Yeah, And I think it's just the history that I'll have and the rapport that you guys have together. I really enjoy you and Chad together, So I think, but then how do you how do I say not my brother in laws. Like I just I love all the guests, but I love the dynamic that I love the dynamic that you and Bernie bring together. Am I the first female? Am I the only female? First and only? Yeah? Maybe we should have some more

females for you. Yeah, maybe so, maybe so so. Email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. We're going to dive into that here. Almost a race one. No, don't race it, okay. So I'm gonna start kind of easy, okay, and then we'll get hard. And I have no idea what any of these say. No. By the way, none of my guests are ever prepared for these. We don't. I keep notes. This is like we're sitting around a campfire and there's a third person and you say, Hey, I have a

question something that's been going on. Kind to ask you, and it could be about any subject. I usually start with the little soft ones. I've read these maybe once just to put them into a category, but I haven't studied or anything else. This one's called Beard, says hey, Granger and Amber. My name is Kaylee. I think that's it's k A. L. E Y Kaylee. I'm from Magnolia, Texas and a member of the Fight in Texas. AUGI, class of twenty seventeen, says, I love your music and

your family as a Christian. I love y'all being so open with your faith and having discussions so regularly about Christianity. Digging the new album by Boy Baseball is my current favorite. Lincoln too, Yeah, so, Kaylee says, So my question is, has Granger ever had a beard? And have you ever tried to grow on amber? How would you feel about Granger with a beard? With all of your brothers so clean shaven, I feel like it's it might be really interesting.

Maybe photoshop one to get an idea. Thanks for the time to read my question. Blessings peace, Kaylee. Thanks Kaylee. I don't think I've ever seen you with an actual beard beard. I mean you used to do that no shave November and that would be the longest that it ever got. But it's still never been like a beard. I just can't I can't grow a really thick beard. And now when I grow anything, there's like patches of gray in there. Yeah, so I like the then it

just looks like more patches. So Tyler has the least facial hair. He has the most Native American in him. At least that's what my grandmother would tell us, is if you had the more patches you have, the more Native American blood you have, and she's a quarter of Cherokee. Comment below. If that's a myth, I think it is. You just look at Native American heritage and culture and

their genetics. They don't have beard. They don't, and so some of the Scandinavian genetics have heavy beards, and so it's whatever, whatever gene pool you get, yeah, you know, and Americans were all of such a mix. Yeah, I don't think it bother me if you had a beard. I just I don't think I can envision you with a beard. There's that in between little stubble that hurts, you know. It's like it's either super short or it's a little bit longer. But that in between stubble is

what hurts. And it bothers the kids, like he's always loving on them and kissing on their cheeks and stuff, and it always leaves little red marks, yeah, on their face. But no, he's never had a beard. Pastor Chad just texted me he must know that I'm sitting here talking only getting jealous. Thank you, Kaylee, Thanks for the question. I'm going to dig into another softball for you. How many podcasts Amber have you done besides me? Oh gosh,

that's not a question. I'm asking you that question. Maybe ten? How many podcasts have you done where you have to talk about your river story? All of them except every single one? Yeah? Yeah, I think maybe ten to ten or eleven I think I've done with other people. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to try to turn your Rise with Amber on YouTube. I'm going to turn that into a podcast. I'm at episode like sixty two or something. That's crazy.

That's crazy. Yeah, here's another one that since subject line is kids chores, at what age did your kids start doing chores? And what was it? I grew up and still live on a dairy farm in central Iowa, So chores started at a young age. For me, chores started at age four hatching chicks, and shortly after that it was bottle feeding calves, and that led to milking cows. This is from Love Dairy Cows. Oh okay, I know,

Love dairy couse. Yeah, so our kids do chores, but we don't have It's not as regimented as we needed to be. We were just talking about that today we actually London and I just made their chore listing in today because we kind of get sidetracked. They do chor chores, yes, but the problem is, as you know, those of you that are parents, it becomes a chore for the parent to come up with a choor list because they're not

really helping out the homestead. Yeah, they can't a little bit, but they're not really really contributing to the survival of the homestead. They're just doing meaningless things because we know that they need to have chores and they need to be busy. Yeah, so so far we have We're living in the RV in the barn, so we have a lot of condensation that drips from the RV, so Lincoln when Lincoln Stores is dumping the buckets of condensation that fill up. They have just five gallon buckets for a

seven year old. Those are heavy. We have them feed all the animals that's the cat all dogs, chickens, goats, chicken water, dog water, catwater. They do laundry most of the time. I'll fold it and then they have to go put it all away. If we need them to add an extra chore, then they have to actually do the laundry, to fold it all themselves, put it all away themselves. Lincoln likes to clean the toilet, which is weird, but we get those little scrubbers that turn blue, so

he enjoys that. So I'm like, okay, we used to have him take out the trash in the ARV. We've kind of slacked on that, but we wrote that down again today. We'll get that when we move into the house. We'll get into taking off the trash. They help me in the garden, vacuum the RV. They do a lot of things. And so when they're in school, we have a thirty minute deal. Yeah, so it has to be a solid thirty minutes of work four screen. Some of you might hear that and be like, that's not very long.

But for a kid, solid working, there's no breaks, there's no taking a rest, there's no I got to go get a drink of water. It's like we'll start the clock and you have to work hard for thirty minutes straight. And that's on top of the normal all the stuff you said dump in the buckets, that's on top of all that. But the thirty minute chore is on top of all the house George it's something we think of that day, and that's what you're talking about. That's harder

to think of. Yeah, like it was during the whole ice storm and stuff, we had them stacking firewood and stacking firewood was every day for you know, because we had so much firewood, or pulling brush piles, pulling brush piles, trim and think trim and trees. Yeah. So yeah, that's a long way to answer that. It's a work in progress. But our kids do chores every single day. At what age did they start this email? Ask? Maybe five? Five?

Five years old? And then as they get older, the chores will get heavier and longer and they could both drive the ranger now. And that's on top of little things like making their bed and cleaning their cleaning up their area and stuff like that. Yeah, that's stuff like that brush your teeth. That just has that has to happen anyway. Yeah, now, Amber, I'm gonna throw it to you. I'm gonna throw you some of these subject lines. We have What should I do? We have dating as an adult?

I have personal problem? Please read me. We have we have Hey, I need some advice, we have write a book, question mark podcast, question my greatest fear A question for amber they need to stick out to you. I gotta do that one. But the one that stood out to me just a second ago was no, you can't remember good down A personal problem. Personal problem exclamation point, yeah, it says, Hey, mister Smith. My name is Ethan Vargo. I'm fifteen years old. I live in Ninevah, Indiana. I

love your music. I love listening to your podcast. I have listened to every single one multiple times. Wow. I don't watch YouTube, so unfortunately I can't watch your channels, but I bet they are great. Thanks buddy. I turn up your music on the radio when I'm working and all of my guy friends love it too. My question is about my personal life. I've been looking for the right girl for me for years now. At first, I liked being single because it gave me a little more freedom,

but it's become unbearably lonely. The thing is, I don't want to end up settling down with someone that I don't really love, and I can't seem to find someone. I've done my best to stay optimistic about the future, but now I'm doubting if there's someone out there at all. Let alone actually meant for me, how could I remain faithful, how could I stay hopeful? And how can I maximize

my chances of finding someone I really love. I hear all the time about people finding their wife their true love at a really young age, and it's hard for me to stay optimistic about my future with all of that happening around me. I know it's a hard question to answered, but you always know what to say, and you have great wisdom and knowledge about life. I feel like this question is super important to me to be answered,

especially by you. I also want to be clear that I'm not saying my life is bad, and I know that compared to some this is very minuscule. I would be honored if you help me with this. Thank you so much for your time. Ye yee, Ethan, it's hard to be a fifteen year old. Fifteen year old riding that. It's hard. I was reading that thinking, Wow, this is very in depth for a fifty teens. Yeah, thinking that is so many in their like early thirties, late late twenties,

early thirties, who's really searching? So I'm Ethan, I'm going to take it. Yeah, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna I'm gonna You're gonna be nice to him, aren't you. I mean, I'm not gonna be rude, but I'll be honest. Okay, Well, I'm gonna start at the end and just kind of sum up that he said. He said to me, He said, I know this is a hard question to answer, but you always know what to say, and you have great

wisdom and knowledge about life. Thank you in some subjects maybe, but he said, I would be honored if you help me. So I'm going to take that. I'm going to take that that you that you set me up for this, and I'm just gonna say, Ethan, chill out, chill out, dude. Yeah, Bro, you're fifteen. That is really old for a kid. It's really young for an adult. Right, You're just in that in between age. You're really really old mature, very smart kid and a very young, immature adult. You're right in between.

And because of that, buddy, you say, there's people around you finding their true love very young. I don't know them. I don't know anybody that met their true love when they're fifteen. No. I know I know one guy and went to college with him and he's now divorced. Yes, And I know a couple people who might have they might have met who they're now married to at a super young age, but they went through heck and back

and they're still going through ups and downs. So while you could possibly find your true love at fifteen, you guys are going to change and grow so much over the next five, ten, fifteen years that you're going to have to go through a lot of battles together. And you don't. I mean, I know you probably feel like you know who you are right now, but you're still developing into into who you're meant to be, and you're

going to change so much. And I get the feeling of feeling lonely or wanting like a companionship, or wanting just to go to the movies with somebody or something like that. But I don't feel like you should be searching for your one true love right now. There's so much that you need to do for you as a fifteen year old. Yeah, you say, you say that you're unbearably lonely, and you say you've been looking for the right girl for years, which you're fifteen. I can't imagine

if you're twelve doing this. Maybe you're just a true romantic at heart. And I love that. But that's and I'm trying not to be rude. I'm trying to Ethan here's the deal. I'm speaking to you like I would speak to me at fifteen, and I remember, yeah, or my children, and you know, I remember being fifteen. And it's kind of like you have horse blinders on and you can't look right or left. You only see right there what's in front of you, and everything seems, in

your words, unbearably lonely. And so you're asking to maximize your chances. Are fine, if you were forty, this would be this would be a legit email. But you need a double down on your guy friends, double down on maybe playing a sport or some kind of really in depth hobby. Did he say anything about hobbies besides working and turning up the radio. Yeah. I think I think

you're missing something. I think there's something in your life that you don't have right now, and you're taking it out on the idea that you're just missing your love of your life. The odds of you finding the love of your life now are like point zero zero zero zero zero one percent. You're not going to find her. You're not going to find her at fifteen, and if

you do, it's a rocky road ahead. Imagine you find the love of your life now, and imagine where you're going to be in seven years and you're twenty two and you're with the same girl, and you guys, have been through this journey, and then you're still just twenty two. I just I don't see the good in this. I don't see the good in this desire. And I see that you are missing something else. Yeah, like you said,

double down on your friends. I mean, I think it's a feeling of wanting friendship and companionship and someone to do things with or experience certain things of life with. So I think that may be where we should focus. Yep, don't don't look for a girlfriend. You will find God will put someone in your life. You will find who you are meant to be with. It doesn't have to be at fifteen years old. So give yourself some time and just like like Granger said, just chill out a

little bit, pump the brakes a little bit. And we're totally not trying to be rude by any means, But you have so much life ahead of you. Thank you, Ethan, and thank you for writing that's been in my cue list for a long time that email, and Chad and Bernie and those guys didn't pick it. So I'm glad we got it today because I've been wanting to read that. I've been wanting to tell you that, Ethan's ever since

you sent it. So anyone else that's around that age, I get a lot of those kind of emails that same age, thinking the same thing. So anyone else please apply that to you. You just don't need to find a love of your life, and there's more bad that can come out of it right now than good. Yeah.

How about the one that says write a book? Okay, it says, have you and your wife ever thought about writing a book together about your life, your take on at the kids, struggles you've dealt with and you're dealing with since the loss of your son, God, et cetera. It'd be really inspired story, and I believe it would touch a lot of hearts and people. I would definitely read it because I love hearing people's stories, the raw, unfiltered,

just honest and genuine life stories. I haven't dugged too far into your podcast yet, just starting to listen to them as I drive to school. Maybe you've already been asked this, I don't know, but hopefully you'll eventually write one thank you. It doesn't have a name on here, so I won't read the name of the email, but thank you so much for writing thank you for the question. It's definitely a thought we've thought about. Shall we get asked this quite a bit? Yeah, I don't know if

I've ever answered it specifically on this podcast. I've definitely thought about writing book and have dabbled in starting it, and then then I start thinking of other things and write other things. But it's definitely in my future. What about you. Absolutely I love the idea of writing our

stories both coming from my own our own perspective. So I've read a couple of books where the wife will have one chapter, then the husband is in the next chapter, and it's just really cool to see their different perspectives and their different moments in time and read it from their eyes. I guess so I think that would be something cool, But I just don't know how we would mesh that together with our whole lives, or if it would just be our marriage and what we've gone through

and our faith. We've even talked about like doing a devotional before, like you and I doing a devotional or something. But and that just reminded me for some reason. Ethan, if you're still listening, if you didn't get mad and delete the podcast yet. I met Amber at thirty and you were twenty eight. Twenty eight, so I was double your age. Yeah, and we both went through a lot of stuff before that, So just be patient and relationship wise, before Amber, none of it was good. So, yeah, were

you going to talk about your book now though? I can? Yeah, do it. I don't think you've ever brought that up. Yeah, I haven't haven't released this info yet, So this is kind of good intel. After we LOSTRIV, I had a really good friend of mine who I met years and years ago at a mom's club here in Texas. She is a writer, and she wrote this really beautiful poem about RIV and about heaven, and I just read it and I just had all these visions of pictures coming

to life. And so she and I joined forces. We kind of tweaked some things, and we turned this poem into a children's book, and so we've We've got this amazing, incredible artist and she's she's done all these all the spreads it's almost completely done. I'm in the phase of needing to purchase it now. I haven't even released the title. Should we release the title or no? We could say that it's it's it's based on something that River said one time, but it's it's for children. It's beautiful and

I'm excited to release that this year. We're almost completely ready. So it's just a poem turned into a book. So that well, that fully answers this question. Then yeah, is there another one that start? We have time for one more before break? Yes, you say we have. Here's miscarriage and family mental health, a question for Amber. I like the question for Amber, and then maybe miscarrigon family's two question for Amber right now before the break, will take

a break and do some more. Says hello, y'all, I'm Brad Big Jay Johnson from Land or Texas. Shout out to Land or right down the road for us. My question is for Amber. Is there any way to get the River Kelly Fund on Amazon's smile. I give the Texas Firewalkers now, but I would change if I could do the River Kelly Fund. Ps to Granger. I met you at the Dixie Chicken. I can't remember what year, but I was with my dad and other firefighters. My dad teaches at the Text Fire School tee X Fire School,

So we get a lot of questions about this. People want to give to the River Fund through Amazon Smile, through the Facebook, like you can do fundraisers through Facebook, and we are The River Kelly Fund is housed under another five oh one C three organization out of Nashville, so it's really hard to find the River Kelly Fund set up that way. So it's housed under the Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee. So you might be able to

search that on Amazon Smile. You have to search that and then you would have to put in River Kelly Fund is where the funds would go. So I don't really know if that would be said if we could do that through Amazon at this time, I can look into it. But you can do that through Facebook through the Facebook donations if you search Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee and then just make sure whenever you write it in the summary that it's for the River Kelly Fund. Yeah. Yeah,

and Brad, thank you for your service. If I can't, I can't remember if you are a firefighter, or your dad is or your buddies are but or you just donate to them. But regardless, I think you are so thank you for your service. We have because that was so quick, we have time for one more thing. Yeah, do you want to try Mitch Carriage and Family. How much time I got time? Okay? Ten minutes? Okay? Hey Grangeer. My name is Alyssa. I'm from Minnesota. Thank you for

all you do. I'm a fan of yours since they were there video came out. I've been binge listening to your podcast for a couple months now and it's helped me through a miscarriage. My husband and I have a three year old son, and this would have been let me read that again. My husband and I had an almost three year old son. This would have been our second child. Your podcast, particularly a couple episodes went amber your life experience and your faith in God have helped

me through and shape my perspective on the situation. My question is how do you make sure my husband? How do I make sure my husband is okay during this emotional time? How do I check in with him about the miscarriage without nagging him? And do we try again? I'm scared to death of this emotional pain, and I don't know if I could handle another pregnancy ending this way. Thank you for taking my question. I wish you and

Amber the best, Alissa, thank you, Alyssa. And first let me just say I'm sorry that you guys had to go through that. I know we know firsthand what that feels like. I feel like you could probably answer better about how how the man would how you handled it,

or how how she could help her husband through that. Yeah, it's interesting because we you know, we lost River, our son, and then we had a miscarriage, and we don't talk about the miscarriage too often, and so we can't we can't overlook that pain and a lot of people experience this. What's the odds, Well, I think twenty three one in three, But I think because we went through such a tragedy before, and we grew so much in our faith before, we were much more prepared for another loss, and so we

just looked at it differently. But a lot of times this is this is people's first first time going through this, so it's much heavier. And not saying that ours was light at all, we just had a very a different perspective after losing riv healing our faith, so we just have it have we just had a different outlook on it. I think of God's sovereignty and his will and and

you're right, and Alyssa mentions here your faith in God. Well, through that faith, I have learned personally that Alyssa, I wouldn't I wouldn't call this baby hang on a second. That was I'm just not figuring out this story. My husband, I had an almost three year old son, and this would have been okay, so the miscarriage would have been the second child, okay, good, good, good good. I didn't. I was more worried about you through the miscarriage. So

I don't. I don't know, Alyssa, about your husband. I don't know exactly how to speak to him through this because you go back to the faith in God. Amber and I Amber and I just we both totally believe in the sovereignty of God and that everything that happens, everything, I mean, we even talked about we talked about the roly police in our barn. There's hundreds of roly polies and they're all crawling around, and the sovereignty of God controls the roly police. Something even is minute as that.

It's like the old song He's got the whole wide world in his hands, the whole wide world in his hands. He just does. There's a pastor that we listen to that talks about the fizz and a diet coke, and every bubble pops and rises to the top according to the sovereignty of God. So of course that includes miscarriages. And Amber and I are just such faithful believers in

the sovereignty of God that when the miscarriage happened. Now we haven't always been like this, but recently, through a lot of prayer and a lot of growth, a lot of study, when the miscarriage happened, we just we praise God. We did. We just said thank you God, because You're in control. Yeah, and this baby was not supposed to be born. We don't know why he does it. Maybe it was something wrong with the baby, or maybe we weren't ready. He knew that, or maybe it was so

that we could speak into this podcast and talk to Alyssa. Yeah. Well, I don't know the reason. I'm not even gonna guess, but I do know that he was in control of it, and I know that he was in control of yours. Such peace, thinking that it's so so that there's such a peace of mind just going I'm not in control. Yeah, what if nothing that you did or could have done or And that that also gave us so much peace is that it wasn't my fault. It's not your fault.

There's there's things in life this side of heaven we will not ever understand. And that doesn't take away the pain. I know it hurts, it's difficult, it's hard, it's devastating. But towards the end, you say that you're scared. So now you speak to her. Yeah, you say that you're scared to try again. If I can encourage you in any way, don't live in fear of trying again and put it in your head that it may happen again.

You know, we tried again, and we just said, you know, if it's not in God's plan, if it's not in God's will, we will accept that. But don't be afraid to try again. If I'm scared to death to this emotional pain, I don't know if I could handle another pregnancy ending this way. Yeah. Also, I've also read though you're much more fertile after a miscarriage, So there's that to to try to try again and I pray and pray, you know, pray, pray, pray to God, but not just

for that baby. Pray for peace, pray for comfort, pray for strength, and pray for God's will to help you through anything that does happen. As far as your husband, I know you said, how do I'm curious? Okay, yeah, I don't know how he's grieving, so maybe he's maybe he's taking it a lot harder than you imagined or or something. But just short short of just open lines of communication, right, just asking him, just asking him and guys, are babe, how are you doing? How are you doing?

How are you doing? And he might be like, fine, I'm fine. That opens up the conversation to do and try again. And if it was me and this was me and you talking, I would want to know are you ready to try? Because I'm ready, you know, So maybe he is, But yeah, Alyssa, don't. The time is now. The time to make that next baby is now. And if you have another miscarriage, which you might, then that wasn't in your control either, and that wasn't in your cards.

But you don't want to miss the dance. As Garth Brooks would say, You'll live your whole life wondering, you know, what if what could have? What could have been? Our lives are better left the chance. Yeah, could have missed the pain, but I'd have to miss the dance. The time is now, The time is now to try it. The the positive you can get out of it as a baby, you know, the negative you can get is is painful. It's very You don't want to ever discount

the pain of a miscarriage. It's very painful. But the odds of getting a baby, though, are so much greater. There's so much greater. Yeah, it's worth that risk. It's worth the pain for a chance of missing the dance. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, We're gon't take a break, be right back. Podcast today is brought to you guys

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ifs ands are asterisks. Away offers free shipping and returns on any orders within the US, UK, Europe and Canada. Start your one hundred day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best selling suitcases at away travel dot Com slash Granger. That's Away travel dot Com, slash Granger, Away Travel dot Com slash Granger. You won't regret any of us. So we're going to announce this week the Fall tour. So excited about that.

We have all the dates are pretty much locked down and we're getting on the sell ticket codes ready and we're gonna be announcing those cities this week, so kind of be watching my socials and we'll well, we'll announce that and hopefully we're coming to your town and you can come and see us, and then you can get a meet and greet. I get these people that come now for meet and greets, and you can get a meet and greet to every show I play on right

on my website under the tour date. And I'd love when people come up and they're like, I've listened to your podcast. Yeah that's so it's like a different level. The people that say I love back Road Song or I love Old Abeles Junior, that's that's great. But the people that say I love your podcast, I look them in the eye and it's like, oh, okay, yeah, we understand each other, like we've been if you listen to

this podcast, we've been down some journeys. Like we've been down some valleys with me and Jad and Bernie and Jaleb and Parker and you. I mean we have we have been on a journey. So we understand each other at a deeper level. When you say you're a podcast listener at a meet and greet, you want to get into another question. I do we have a what should I do? We have dating as an adult? Please read

me Granger needs some advice. Podcast question My Greatest Fear, mental health question for the podcast and question on the River Kelly Fund. Let's do my greatest fear. My greatest fear, says Hey Granger. My greatest fear is losing my wife. When I was single, I didn't have any fear. I just do anything crazy, why I'll be out there. But ever since she came into my life, she has made me a better man, and she brings out the best of me. She's a shining light in this dark world.

I always said I don't need anybody, and then she came into my life and I couldn't have been more wrong. She means everything to me. A lot of people say that they couldn't live without their significant other, but the truth is we can't. However, I can't imagine. I don't want to imagine life without her. Thank you. Brandon from Decatur, Alabama. Brandon is thirty four. Brandon thirty four years old to Cater, Alabama. Shout out to Alabama, Roll Tide or war Eagle, whatever

you prefer. Where do you want to start? What the what is could be? I can totally understand a fear of losing someone you love. I mean, I think we all ask humans have that fear. We all don't want to lose somebody that we love. But let me just tell you, and I hate to be blunt, but whatever is going to happen in this life is already written. It's already in the cards, and we don't know what that's going to be. We don't know when any of

us are going to go home. And I can just tell you going through our loss, I didn't want to lose my precious Sun. I didn't have any control over that. And I can tell you that even if something I pray it doesn't, but if that does happen, you will be okay. You can make it through any of that stuff. Don't live your life worrying every day about something happening to your wife. You know. I feel like I kind

of did that with my kids. And you know, you worry, you're running behind them every you know you're two seconds behind them. And I still didn't have any control over my son going home. So pleased, I just if I can encourage you, don't live your life and fear. And then another thing that I felt whenever you're reading that is, you know, the Bible speaks of idols, and I was really convicted of this with River. And we can make

people our idols. Ye, you can make your husband or your wife an idol and place them above above the Lord. And I felt after our loss with Riv that I was kind of making River an idol of mine. And the Lord convicted me about that, Like you need to be seeking Me above all else, seek me above your wife, seek me above your children, and that will give you peace and rest through any sort of fear. And if you're I hope you're not living in like debilitating fear

of something happening to her every day. But seek the Lord and pray. But then you just have to You just have to live. It's like Granger said in the last question, you don't want to miss the dance. Enjoy, enjoy the moment, Enjoy the moments in front of you right now, be present every moment because all you have is today. So stop worring about tomorrow, because tomorrow has enough worry for itself. If I've missed anything sufficient for

the day. So this question is these are kind of like really threading each other between this one and Ethan trying to find somebody at fifteen, and Alyssa after a miscarriage, wondering if she should haven't try for another baby or have that kind of hurt. And then we got Brandon, who's just desperately worried he's going to lose the love of his life. So you could thread these three questions so similar and just say, guys, for all three of you,

we only have today. Because Brandon, right now, you have her today, you have her so lover like, you only have her for today. What kind of life would that look like if you have her for fifty more years you're thirty four, imagine going all the way to eighty five years old and loving her every day like it's the last. Not in a fear. Yeah, but I'm going to make the most of this and gratefulness, this gratefulness, this thankfulness knowing that I could. You could, dude, you

could lose her. Yeah, you could lose her tomorrow to a car accident on her way home from work. I know people that this has happened to, and you do too, obviously that's why you're writing it. We're humans. Yeah, but you probably won't. The odds are you won't. Yeah, A lot of times we worry about. Ninety percent of the stuff we worry about never happens. Yeah, and I would love her like there is no tomorrow, you only have today. And then to double up on Amber said, I would

seek the Lord. I would dive into the Bible. People will go, what do you mean? What do you mean I'm talking about? For me in the mornings before everyone gets up, it's just me and the Bible. If you haven't done that before, I open up to like John John Chapter one, and I just go, God, I'm gonna, I'm gonna soak in your word here, I'm gonna I'm gonna open up your inspired word. I'm gonna fall in love with this. And this is the truth that I need to hear this morning. Let me see that truth.

Let me be hungry for this truth. And you read it and then the kids get up and your wife gets up, and then you go about your day. But you've built this foundation of truth where God says, I've made a promise to you that you might not see perfect days the rest of your life, but you will have peace in believing that promise that one day everything will be fulfilled. And that's what the Bible said, it's

not my words, that's what the text says. And this kind of that thought will free you of this desperate fear of losing your wife. Instead, you just go, like we've said three times on this podcast, you just go. God, the days are up to you. You got the whole wide world in your hands, not my hand. Yeah, not in her hands, not in the drunk driver's hands. It's coming head on into her, not in the hurricane's hands.

It's in your hands. You control all of that. And then then you can breathe, yeah, and pray and pray for him to take that fear away from you. A lot of times that's the enemy just creeping into your mind. And you know, we talked a lot. We talk a lot about renewing your mind every day. Pray for the Lord. Lord. I'm I'm nervous about this, take this fear away from me. Give me your peace. Yeah, yeah, thank you, Brandon. Thanks real tired war Eagle. Sorry, I I don't know which

one you are. Back to the drawing board here we have what should I do? We have? Dating as an adult? Read me please? I need some advice, podcast question, mental health question for the podcast, and a question for River Kelly Fund Okay, you keep your inflection keeps changing on read me, please, so let's do that one. I don't know why it's actually in all lowercase. Okay, it says Hey Granger. I've always known you who you are, but I've recently watched all of your podcasts and videos and

listen to all your songs all the time. My favorite is by Boy Baseball. Shout out for that song. Today, I drive so a lot of the time I have to put on a video and just listen for hours. I'm twenty three years old. Everything's going great for me. My fiance and I are about to get married in April. We bought a house last year. I just bought a brand new Silverado. It sounds like everything is going great, and it is. But I just have a little bit

of a drinking problem. Every day when I get off I start drinking, and on the weekends I really like to pound them. I'm scared because I want to be a good, good example to my kids. We don't have any yet, and not a disappointment to my future wife. My parents are real alcoholics and we don't speak at all because they were pretty terrible parents. So what do you think so you would think I would have learned.

I've never asked for help with anything. But you're a real inspiring guy and your music really speaks to me. And you seem to be so down to earth. By the way, when the virus is over, you should come to South Georgia, Tallahassee. Please keep me anonymous, so I won't give out his name, but he is from Georgia and shout out to Georgia. We would just we just moved one state over from Alabama. This email came in February, so that's why he mentioned the virus. So they're already married.

So they are married, so we're kind of speaking into an existing deal here. Maybe he's made changes so far, we will know. Here's the thing, buddy, I can't say your name. Here's the thing. And I see this sometimes on these podcast questions, and I appreciate you guys being so open. You sound like such an awesome dude. You sound like a guy I would love to hang out with.

But when I see these kind of questions come in the podcast and they answered them himselves, I don't even have to see everyone listening and me, I don't have to answer this because you already said, here's the deal, everything's great. You don't want to lose anything, Like here we go threadn this podcast with these other questions. Again here you are a guy that has everything going like you got the wife. You don't want a loser. Okay, just like the last question. So everything's going good, but

you have a drinking problem. Why is that bad? Because your parents are alcoholics and you don't speak to them and their terrible parents. Sounds like you shouldn't drink bruh, Well, and don't they always say the first step is admitting that you have a problem. I mean, you directly admit it. I have a drinking problem. For a lot of people, they deny it, they hide it, they don't admit it. And I know you want to remain anonymous, but you're

admitting it, at least to yourself and to us. And you already know in your mind what needs to happen. I think you're just you don't know how to do it. Yeah, so many times so you say whenever I get off work, I start drinking on the weekends or really pound them. Man, you can't. You sound like a guy that can't have any right. You have to just cold turkey. You got a cold turkey. You're not even a cold beer with your buddies. One beer and that's it. You're not that guy.

You're a zero. And that is not a bad thing. That's just your personality. Some people could have a few and if you're my brother Tyler, you can't stop. So certain people are like that. So here's my deal. You have to replace this. You have a habit of getting off work and drinking, and I have it on the weekend. You have to replace that with something else. So I don't know. I would say let's introduce coke zero. But

you're going to get you need to go. You need to go through your whole routine of you probably on me. Imagine you're going home from work and you stop at the gas station and you get a six pack, so go grab some of that rain energy drink that I've been drinking lately instead. So you're still going in, You're still stopping at the same guys station and the same

guys working the counter. You're going at the same fridges, but instead of going for the bud light, you're going over there and you're getting a pack of energy drinks. And so your mind, you're like tricking your mind and fulfilling this this habit, but you're breaking the loop of the actual alcohol well, and we don't know to what extent your alcohol, what it's doing to you and your girl, your fiance, or your wife at this time. I don't know if you have any anger issues or anything like that.

You never said anything about that. I don't even know what you consider pounding on. I don't know if for you that's for it, or if for you that's a case. I do because I know you u nation and I have dealt with dudes like this most of my life, and they're in my band and they're around me, and they're friends and their fans. So I know this. I know who you are, and I know you're a great guy.

Know you've got a great heart, and you're you're sensitive enough to write this long email, thoughtful email at twenty three years old. And so I think you also go public to your buddies. I was going to say, public to your buddies, and if your wife doesn't know, you need someone to hold you accountable. I was going to say, even maybe find a sponsor to start going to meetings. You know, if when you get off work you tend to go to the gas station. Go pull into a

meeting instead and do that every day. And it's going to be hard. It's not going to be easy. No, it's right hard. You need, like Ranger said, you need to replace it. And if it's not going to get lacroix or something from the gas station, go pull into a meeting and sit in a meeting and admit it. Admit you're already saying, you know, you think you need a little bit of help. So I would go to

some kind of meeting, try to find a sponsor. Call your wife on your if you're married, now call your wife on your way home and say, Babe, I'm really wanting to stop. Have her try to convince you to come straight home. Don't have any alcohol in your house. Don't buy wine or beer any think you're in your home because it's just like sugary food or snacks. If it's there, you're gonna drink it. So tell all of your friends, say, hey, guys, I got to tell y'all something.

Shoot them a text, shoot them a group text to say, I gotta tell y'all something. I'm getting married and I'm trying to make the best of my life as y'all probably know my parents are alcoholics and they're jerks, and guess what, I don't want to become that. So I'm taking a step. And this sounds crazy, and you guys might think I'm an idiot, but I'm gonna stop drinking. I'm still going to hang out. I'm still gonna be with y'all. But please challenge me. Watch me challenge me

to say, hey, dude, don't don't touch that. Yeah, and then I'll take on that challenge. But you guys all help me. Don't encourage me to drink with you. And if they do that, you need new friends to take a break from those friends. Yea. Your friends should be like, absolutely, bro, we got you. We'll be looking after you. You're the new designated driver. Yeah yeah, Actually you shouldn't even be going to bars if you if you can't be around it,

I would just not go anywhere near it. If you like to pound them on the weekends, don't buy it. Don't go to bars you just have. It's one of those things. You have to stop cold Turkey And I'm going to go back to We're going to lead everything back to the to the Lord and the word. You can't do this alone. You can't. We can't fight any battles alone, especially this, because it's in your blood. And you know it's the lust of the eyes, the lust

of the flesh, the pride of life. You know, we we want things to satisfy us, and we have to replace those things, those addictions, with the Lord. So appreciate you, man. I won't read your name on here, but thanks for writing it. And I know your story just got heard by a lot of people on this podcast that are probably going through something similar at Yee Nation. So thanks for right, Thanks for being the brave one man, thanks for bringing brave enough to bring this up. Because you're

no less of a man for not having a beer. Yeah, and this world wants to tell you you ain't a man unless you could sit around and have a beer with your buddies. That's not true. That is a lie. Thank you for being a big enough of a man to admit that and say, I don't care what the world says. I don't care what the world tells me that I need to be a man. I'm going to email this podcast and say how do I fix it?

That's a man of integrity? Yeah, I love that, And please email us back because I know you're probably married now. I would love to hear if you've made changes since you wrote this email and how it's going for you. So all right, we have back to the drawing board. We have what should I do dating as an adult? I need some advice? Podcast question mental health question for podcast. I think we have time for a couple more questions. Okay, dating as an adult? Roger that Hey Granger and guest, Hey,

hang on a second, I'm I read this one last week. Okay, near mind, just kidding, Okay, thank you. Chad answered that one last podcast. Okay, one day I'll get it to get it, going to get a producer for this to help me. Okay, you call it mental health? Mental health coming up right now, it says, Hey Granger, Louise from Kent and the UK. Here. I've been a fan of yours for years and loving the new album. I can't wait till you come over the pond and see us. How do you say Louis in British? What does it

look like, Louise Louise? It's Louise, right, Louise Louise, like with Z Louise because like you know, if it was hispanic could be Louise. Yeah, okay, that's l U my bad. See that's why I have heard she helps me. Louise says, I was wondering if you could give me any tips

on mental health in the current climate. We had two national lockdowns in the UK and we had been put on Tier four, which is the highest level of regional restrictions, meaning we had to spend Christmas and New Year's alone and we couldn't see any friends or families for that whole period. It's been a long time and I still haven't recovered currently feeling like everything is on top of

us and feeling very overwhelmed. At the same time, I feel very guilty for even feeling like this because I have an amazing husband who I live with, and I know that there are a lot of people completely alone and have dealt with many worse things in their life, and how this suffering can't compare to those people and what you guys have gone through. I'm in a constant awe of your attitude to life and how you and Amber face your demons and any obstacles in life with

such determination and strength. Please let me know how we could feed off of this and make the best of our current situation. Hugs to all of you and your family. Thank you. When that December. Oh gosh, so they're probably not in lockdown anymore, right, Yeah, but we can still speak to it. Yeah, let's speak to this for Louise, Let's speak to she says at the end. How can we feed off of this? She says, you guys have learned how to face your demons and obstacles with the

termination and strength. How could we feed off this and to make the best of the current situation. We're threatening the needle threading all these emails and we're going to go back to stay present. Stay present. And I think I think I'm just validating your feelings here. I think I think it's totally normal. You're human. Any this whole pandemic thing really took a toll on people's mental health,

and don't feel bad about that. That's natural. And we could said, as Texans, we didn't experience what you did in the UK, so you had it a lot worse. Yeah, and that would make any any human kind of lose it a little bit. But one word that came to my mind when you were reading that is how to flip That is just gratefulness if you're living your life every day in gratitude of something, even the smallest thing. I mean that just waking up in the morning, you know,

or having your husband there. And you already did say a sad So here's what we could do. And this is perfect that you said that, because this is how you said. At the same time, I feel very guilty for feeling like this because I have an amazing husband who I live with, and I know that there are a lot of people completely alone. So flip your guilt into gratitude. Yeah, yeah, And I've never thought about that. I've never thought of that term until you started saying

that you should have gratitude. But she feels guilt, so you could change your guilt for gratitude. So watch this. So watch this. Let me read this paragraph and change the one word. Currently, feeling like everyone is getting on top of this, and I'm feeling very overwhelmed and it seems like there's no end in sight to all of this madness. At the same time, I feel very grateful that I have an amazing husband who I live with, and I know there are a lot of people completely

alone and have dealt with worse things. It changes the whole feeling or the entire email. By changing guilt to gratitude gratefulness instead of guilt, it takes the same amount. It takes a lot more energy probably to enact guilt. So stop saying you feel guilty for being having an amazing husband, Stop saying that, say you feel grateful, and that just to change in that word is going to

change your attitude in your mind. And then you answer your entire question and go, how do I get through this with my amazing husband next to me, living one day at a time, Yeah, and loving him, knowing that there's people like Ethan that don't have anybody. And it sounds cheesy, but start writing down three things that you're grateful for every day you're like, oh my gosh, you're

probably not living in that lockdown anymore. But if it ever goes back to that or something, wake up and say, okay, I can't change this, and to be grateful for what I have through it, Write down three things that you're grateful for tomorrow, write down three more and go back and read them. And it really is a renewing of your mind. And sometimes it is a choice. A lot of times it's a choice. You know that you have to just say I'm not going to feel this way.

I'm going to focus on the good be in the present moment, and that will will begin to flip kind of your attitude about that situation. So here's the thing, Louise. Go to your mirror in your bathroom and get a dry erase marker, and I want you to write, gratefulness is better than guilt and make the you know, the alligator sign greater than symbol. Yeah, that's what it's called.

Greater than symbol. Gratefulness greater than symbol guilt. Yeah, and just live by that right now, Okay, And then go in there and drop everything, drop your cell phone, drop your computer, put everything down, and go grab your husband around the neck and just squeeze him and say I am so grateful for you. Yeah. There you go, Louise. We have time, Yeah, we got let's do Let's talk out one more okay, and then we'll give everybody a break. Thank you for listening, everybody. I know we got some

over the road truckers listening. Love you guys, Love y'all for listening. Man. So many people listening on their commutes, and so many people listening while they're working from home or or a lot of people on the tractor listening to this podcast. Just I feel guilty that so many people are listening to this podcast. I feel guilty because there's other better podcasts out there, and I feel guilty that you're listening to this one. Just kidding. I feel

grateful that you're listening to this podcast. I feel so grateful. Okay, what should I do? Okay? I need some advice? Podcast question question for podcast podcast question. That's how the last three. That's how the last three go. Now if when Chad's with me or Bernie, both of those guys will like they like to pick the boring titles, just to make sure people don't just try to create interesting titles get clicked on. I'm just to say number four. I don't

even remember what that one was. You got it? Okay? Number four says, how do you suggest finding someone to marry that is a Christian and a culture that tells us just to hook up and not care who it is. I live in a small town with not many Christian guys my age at my church. I'm twenty five years old. I feel discouraged and I've had a few failed relationships. I know it was because they were not believers. I know God doesn't promise us love or marriage, just like Ethan,

but I have always longed to find it. Maybe He's called me to be single too. Maybe I have a flaw. Thank you for your input on this. I love your family. It just does not have a name, so I'm not going to read it. I'm not going to read the name of the email. Thank you. That's a legit question, and it's similar to Ethan. That's why threw his names in here. We have threaded this entire podcast with questions, not intentionally to kind of all relate to each other.

Before we get into it, though, I want to knock out one thing. I was going to say the same thing. Probably you're talking about flaws. Yeah, okay, what did we all have flaws? Yeah, that's where I was going. Yeah, yeah, you said you said maybe I have maybe a flaw. Yeah, And I want to say another thing. I don't think you're called to singleness. This is a sheet by the way. I don't think you're called to singleness. You're twenty five.

You're twenty five, it's too early to call that. Yeah, get back to me when you're sixty and single, and we'll call you that. You're called the singleness. But now I don't I don't think that that's the case. You're twenty five, you're ten years older than Ethan, but it's the same situation. Yeah, I want to go to where you said, in a culture that tells us just to hook up and not care. You know, as a Christian, we are not meant to follow the culture. We are

meant to not be of this world. We are called to die to ourselves every day. And so you already know that in your heart. So that should that shouldn't be. You shouldn't even listen to that to what the world is telling you to do, because you already know who to look to. You look to your father to tell you what to do, your heavenly Father. I know it can be hard if you live in a small town

and there's not many Christian guys your age. I think just continuing to be patient in the waiting and and praying, obviously still praying for for somebody. You know, we're asked, we're called to pray and just be patient in that waiting that he's maybe he's preparing you for that man coming to maybe maybe that man's not ready yet. Maybe he's he's he's growing you in some way. Just be patient in that waiting and don't give up. Yeah yeah,

sort of feeling discourage. I'm going to encourage you feel encouraged that you're still twenty five and you haven't gotten into a bad relationship that's going to lead to a divorce. Right, there's something to be grateful for in that, or something to be encouraged thinking, I still have a clean slate. I'm twenty five, which is still very young. You're still

very young, and you have a clean slate. Like how many people get to thirty and they go, man, I've been married eight years and I'm not happy or she's not happy. This is not working. And you don't have any of those burdens right now. So you have a clean slate and you know what you're looking for. So you have a lot going for you. Yeah, you know what you want, you know what you're looking for. You It kind of sounds like that's a deal breaker for you.

Just trust Yeah, trust you say you said that you're a Christian. You're looking for another Christian. Just trust in God. You don't think he's big enough to get a guy into your small town. You don't think God is big enough to get you a guy in your town, or your God is too small, or God will get you out of your town, or God will get you into a new town, and be open to that. Pray for any opportunities that may come your way and be obedient

to those. If God is calling you somewhere to travel or to speak to somebody out of your comfort zone, be open to that. To go to a Granger Smith concerts, Yeah, I have so many people go to my concerts by themselves and they have met people and become friends. So and we've seen this, but like in Iowa, remember there's a big get together in Iowa where there was probably like eight or nine people from ye Nation that flew in from all over the country and all met in Iowa.

And that's also happened in Texas, happened in Dallas one time. So people will fly in and meet each other. And it's an amazing thing to think that these people came started coming to concerts, a lot of them by themselves, and then went to the front row and noticed that the person next to him was singing this their favorite song and had it on the shirt that they were wearing and they're like, hey, did we just become best

friends and it ended up getting married. But then we've had so many people say they got engaged, they met at my show, they got engaged at my show, and then they come with holding a baby. Yeah it's really cool. Yeah, it's a really good family. Yeah yeah, hang in there. A lot of these emails were similar. I hope if your email didn't get answered this time, go ahead and send one at Granger Smith at podcast at gmail dot com. But don't send me another one of the same ones. Yeah, right,

because that's not going to help your cause. But also, I just hope that some of these emails could have related to you also, and I hope you could apply some of these and change up some of the words and change some of the names and the timeframes, and it could also apply to your life. Thank you, Amber for being here, Thanks for having me back. I'll see you later tonight. Okay, about five minutes. I'm going to read the ads for this podcast right now, and then

I have ant Man coming over. He's gonna meet here at five at the farm. Okay, we have something really special. We're shooting with Earl Dibbles Junior at five o'clock. So, if you made it all the way to the end of this podcast, you just found a tiny nugget. And let me tell you, I'll give you the clue. You listened all the way through, you deserve to get a clue. Ant Man's coming over here and Brian Kimball, our videographer

at eg Peril. We're gonna go out there with Earl Dibblis Junior and we're gonna film something and it involves with Earl and an antenna. It's really exciting, yep. And you will find out if you're listening to this podcast on Monday morning when it's going down, you're gonna find out exactly what I'm talking about. Wednesday, the twenty third. Love you guys, Bye, thanks for joining me on the

granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that like button and the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yig