My question is in regard to the podcast that you had in early April. The topic of the question you're answering was suicide, and I was wondering your opinion on this. Is the trauma people may experience in life that leads to suicide, perhaps more trauma to the soul than it is to the brain. I know. I've struggled with suicide a few different times in my life over the years, and the only way I got through those times was by leaning into God and by being out in nature.
Looking back. For me, I believe it was damaging to the soul, but that's just me. I don't know. Hopefully diving into this question may help a listener out there somewhere back on the podcast. This is episode ninety two and you've done like eighty of them special guests. Do you have big plans for number one hundred? I was just thinking about that yesterday. Actually, I don't know what what it would be, but I think we should do something.
It should be are you able to get more people around the table now that you've got this round table? Maybe we should do multiple like you and Amber and Bernie and Parker. Yeah, and do like the All Star Cast let's do it. That's a great idea, number one hundred, number one. I'm in okay, all right, Chad Warren guest back on the podcast today. We are answering your questions email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we'll answer whatever you have like a campfire setting Montana chats for
Montana's we'll do it like a Montana campfire setting. Yeah, and you are, what's the process on your podcast? So we've got kind of all this stuff set up. We're going to start to record some We're gonna have you and kind of have some other people come in record things, get get it all squared away, get the editing figured out, and you know, because we're brand new to this world. But yeah, we're gonna hopefully I could see us launching in August or September, so early fall, So stay tuned.
And what this is, this is going to be Chad is going to start his own podcast and it is going to be the next level from this podcast. So this, if this is like answer your questions at a campfire setting, then his podcast is going to be. All right, let's get deep. Let's get deep thought, and not that we don't get deep on this podcast. But this is going to be biblically based scriptural base. So read a scripture and let's get deep about that scripture. Yep, yeah, in
a similar format. I mean, we're gonna it's gonna be you and I will take a passage of scripture. We'll read it, and then how would we I mean how do we? Normally when you and I get together, it's what are we reading and what is the Lord showing us? And we talk about how that starts to trickle into all aspects of life and how does it help us be better husbands, fathers, and friends. No preparation, right, no
prep Yeah, besides picking the scripture obviously, Yeah. I mean the idea is that you would be able to I mean, it's really for if you want to go deeper in your own walk with the Lord and just hear some people talk about the word and how to just approach
the scripture. That's one level. If you don't know anything about the Bible and you've never even opened it, and you thought you know what I at least should know what it talks about, this would be a good opportunity for you to hear two people who believe it's true and talk about it and read it and try to understand it. And yeah, and if you want some midweek encouragement, then this is a good one for you on your
way to work. Yeah, if you're at work and you need you just want to hear a couple of guys talk about the word or gals. We might have some gals on the podcast here and we'll stay we'll keep that all that up to date on when that's launching and details behind that. Yeah, that's true. Today, I wanted to start with these questions. I want to kind of I found a couple of lighte ones, so I want to start with where's the super light? When I saw man? I didn't see well, I will start with the one
called softball question. It says, hey, Gray angel and friend of the day, Friend of the day, insert typical comment of I'm a huge fan, love of music, lovery podcast, in your apparel in the Smiths, thank you so much. It says, now the touring is back. I just have the question, do you ever get tired of smiling for pictures or does your face start to hurt? I got married in October with your music playing, of course, and my face hurts so bad from smiling after so many
pictures at my wedding. I love what you do for the community. Thank you. That is Kelsey from North Texas. When the comment first that I did the same thing at my wedding, I remember my face hurting. So I
don't think it takes being in entertainment business too. But you've got all these muscles in your face, and so you're working them out, and maybe you do a wedding, you know, and it's a one off experience, and you're kind of it starts to freeze in place, and you wonder if it looks fake because it feels fake, but you're still you're smiling big, and you look back at those pictures and you go, man, we looked happy. But for you, like a weightlifter, like you're lifting those those
muscles get worked, don't they. I mean, he's got a good point because I don't know what, like, just walk us through what would it look like to be on your hip pocket for the day of a concert. Yeah, you've kind of done that a little bit with me. But the meet and greet is by far the most grueling part of my day. It's also the most fulfilling part. That's well, I will meet about one hundred and fifty people, and I try to kind of slow down and have
a get some engagement with every one of them. So that is that is the part that sometimes you got to be if a guy comes in and he say, you got to kind of get up, and then sometimes someone's like, I got to tell you something about my grandpa, and then you kind of got to get down with them and you just kind of ride that emotional roller coaster. So that takes its toll, but it's also the most fulfilling.
And I can't imagine skipping that I actually did during the pandemic when we played a few shows there was no meet and greets, and my day was pretty meaningless. And Chris, my tour manager, and I we quickly noticed that although we thought we would be excited with less work, of no meet and greets, it made the show just kind of blend because you don't have that connection with the people. So yeah, maybe the muscles do get well then,
I imagine, but you're you're a happy guy. Yeah, well you're you're a joyful guy, and so I can imagine and even getting to be there with you a little bit at a recent show. You love to interact with people, and so yeah, to some degree, it's probably natural, and you just get excited when people are excited, and you're like, yeah, but you probably have like cheekbone muscles that are Yeah. I thought that was a hilarious question because I've thought about that and people ask me that, and I don't
really have a true answer. I don't know if you could get cheek muscles that could work them out or not. But your smile always seems genuine. So that's good. I'm glad you say that. Thank you, Kelsey. So I'm gonna kick it over you, Chad. We're gonna do some We're gonna do some reading the subjects and you picking. We have a man of the house. We have I'm in
a predicament. We have Navy or baby. I like the rhyme of them struggling with sin, and then we have a mister Smith, and I know that mister Smith is a lighthearted one. Okay, we'll go man of the House and then struggling with Sin. Okay, and we'll see what happens. Okay. Man of the House says, dear Grander, just wanted to start off and say that ever since my wife introduced me to your music when we were dating. You and your family and your brothers and everything that EG stands for.
It's been a huge blessing and inspiration. Thank you, buddy. It says, I love how your faith in Christ is something that we could see as you lead your family as the head of your house, and it inspired me to be that for my wife and son. I'm twenty eight years old in the Air Force. I'm an Air Force veteran, and my wife and son and I recently
moved back to Texas from being stationed in California. One of the ideas that we have when we're in the process of moving was to live with my in laws because they had the space and we liked the idea of not having to pay rent for a little bit.
When we got settled back in Texas, fast forward nine months and we're still living with them, And for me, being independent most of my adult life and being in the military, I started to feel real resentment towards my in laws and the fact that we're still living with him for what was supposed to be just a couple
of months. So how do I, as the man of my family, lead my wife and sons spiritually while not feeling like I am in constant pissing contest with my father in law, who's the leader of his house which we reside in. I know, this is just a season of my life where my faith is being tested because of the fact that I'm living with my in laws. But I'm just really struggling with my anger towards them and feeling like my wife sometimes doesn't want to move out,
or when will this all be over? Thank you for your time, justin this is one of those where it's unfortunate that's an email and like he's not actually sitting here around the campfire. I have so many questions and want to dig deeper, and so you just have to.
I mean, he was very thorough though, and included a lot of detail, which I think is cool, And at first my first impression is that he seems to be very aware of himself and his own kind of internal frustrations and wrestlings and areas where yes, he is frustrated,
he's angry, but he also realizes the situation. He seems pretty self aware that, yeah, this is his father in law's domain, and his father in law is the head of his own home, and he is kind of in submission to that authority, and rightly so, that would be a there's a shelf life on that for sure, that would be a frustrating situation after a while. Sounds like he needs to go on vacation, to get out of the house and go somewhere, go on a trip. Yeah,
that's true. Justin' you're very validated in all of this that you're saying, and like Chad said, it sounds like you've been thinking a lot about it. You have some good thoughts about it. And with this is not the first time we've seen emails from people that are living
within laws and having problems. It seems to be a problem or reoccurring problem because it's a it's a it's a nice sounding solution to a young couple, a young married couple that goes, well, we're trying to get our feet on the ground and get something settled or move or maybe we're building a house, or we're in the process of going between leases. And I always see these problems arise within laws. I've never lived within laws, so have you. No, No, I can't. I can't totally relate.
And I think as I as a student of kind of the East and the West, being somebody who obviously grew up in the West and what I mean like
Western civilization, Western culture. But you study Eastern cultures and you notice there's a difference in the West, especially in the United States of independence, a priority on independent and launching and kind of being your on your own, whereas you look at other cultures in the Middle East and throughout Asia, they're very family centric and so living with both sets of parents, this idea that everyone's under the
same roof, they tend to do it. I mean that that works for them, But it's so not American to be more common, right, very yeah, a lot more common in those circumstances, but it is not common here, and so we definitely struggle with it more. And I'm yeah, I'm there aren't a lot of patterns to look at or examples to to look at where or maybe it's so it's so let's just walk through it, Chad. Let's walk through it from a biblical standpoint and then from
a from a friend standpoint. If we were given this advice around a campfire, So you have to put it, seems to me you have to put a deadline on these type things, a hard deadline, and you have to be in agreeance with your wife. But in the scenario, it feels like the father in law would be the man of the house. I mean, it's his house, so he is justin You're right in thinking that he is technically the man of the house, no matter how you look at it, no matter what perspective. Now you are
you are? How do I say this on the podcast? I suddenly got this flash of people getting pissed at me when I say, you're the leader of your wife, but you are the your wife. Okay, let me flip it. Your wife is should be more loyal to you than her father because you're married. We'll say it that way. That way, I don't have to say any kind of weird dominance thing. What I'm meant to say is she should be more loyal to you than her father, and
that happened when you got married. But it puts a weird twist on it because you're living under his roof. So you understand that. Because you're an air force fat you kind of see this. You know about hierarchy and
you know about the way this works. And so I believe that your relationship with them and your anger, all that will be restored when you move out right, I would think so, I don't think there's going to be much long lasting pain, but you got to leave before that would potentially happen, because, yeah, you want to leave before it spoils. Yeah, And I would imagine too. I don't know what the relationship is like with the father in law, but need to have open communication with him.
If you guys were to talk man to man about kind of boundaries expectations, there may be a sense in which the in laws are frustrated that they're still there too. I don't know, but they may be wondering, Hey, what's their game plan, when's when they're when are they launching, when are they leaving? How long is this going to last? Or maybe they're like, we love it our whole families together.
I don't know, but I think that you know, to initiate a conversation with my father in law about expectations and constantly kind of revisiting that conversation and checking in I think would help alleviate tensions. As long as there's more and more communication, that's a great point. So as an Air Force vet, treated like you're a commanding officer and you're going into the commanding officer and said, sir, I'm gonna I'm going to give you a couple of deadlines,
and these are my thoughts. What are your thoughts. I think that we should, for various reasons, look at an apartment one betterment apartment, and I want to make sure our relationship stays strong and just build. And man, that's going to cost a lot of money to do that, but I think it's worth it. It's worth it. And you were in California, so moving to Texas it's already going to be way cheaper than that. But I think
you say, let's see when of them. This email came in April, so I'm not sure what has happened, but I was probably like, dude, I couldn't last another week. I've been out of there for months. Maybe so, but man, you gotta if this was happening in real time, I would say, you're in like a thirty day know this type thing? The shelf life? Yeah, awesome, appreciate you. Justin let's go to let's go to this one, says mister Smith.
In the light of your history degree, do you ever consider being did you ever consider being a history teacher? Would you have been the quintessential history teacher and football coach. Professor Smith funny question, that's that has a good ring? I do. I do love history, and I could. I could see teaching history, I could. Yeah, music stole my heart before any of that could happen. I think I probably would have been in the Middle military before I
did that, or maybe both. Maybe it would have been military, come back home, settled down history teacher at the high school, and then football. I love the idea of coaching football. So there's a lot of things that I would have done. I don't believe in anything that would have been because it didn't happen. So it just didn't. But what about you? Is there anything that is there a path it's a young boy that you would have taken outside of the ministry. Yes,
So I wanted to go into the military. I wanted to go into special warfare. My older brother served in the Navy for quite a while and he really turned me on to the special warfare community and kind of helped me picture the you know, the warrior lifestyle. So I thought I was going to do that up until freshman year of college. I was in an ROTC program and just ready to go. And then the Lord word intervened and then re routed me. So definitely wanted to
head that direction. So we're similar in that aspect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I'm gonna kick it back to you, Chad, struggling with sin? Navy or baby? Did you already say struggling with sin? Yeah's jumping to that, says Hey Granger. I will remain anonymous. I've been battling with lust and sin, and I hope that Pastor Chad is there when you see this, because I've been battling with lust and sin and wondering what is the best way to stop or deal with it. I'm a strong Christian and I know
it's wrong, but I keep doing it. I feel like God won't forgive me anymore because I've done it again and again and again. How do I deal with this? Sorry for the long question, So we'll keep him anonymous. It is is a male theological theologically, we know that he will forgive you. Yeah, that's that's the easy question.
That's the easy the question, yep. And the idea of here's something that I learned, and I didn't learn it until later in my Christian walk, But this idea of Paul says and Paul's an apostle, one of the early church leaders. He wrote a letter to a group of believers in an area called coloss A. So the Book of Colossians is in the New Testament. And it's interesting because he he loves to use analogies, and so he says, in the same way that you received Christ Jesus, so
walk in Him, rooted and built up. And as I chewed on that verse for quite a while, realized that this idea of so I am going to walk in Christ in the same way that I received Jesus. And we receive Christ, and two things happen. There is an acknowledgment of who we are and who Christ is. And in that acknowledgment, when we become aware and our eyes are opened to this reality, we see our self and
our sin, and we see Him and his perfection. And so we look at the sin and we say that sin when we see it for what it is, and then we turn from it and trust Him by faith. So faith and repentance are the two key ingredients. When I first receive Christ, those things are present. And what Paul is telling us is, therefore, in the same way you receive Christ, Jesus by faith and repentance. So walk
in Him, rooted and built up. So whatever sin struggle you have, one of the things we recognize is once we are in Christ, we don't therefore act righteously or behave in a christ like way in order to maintain our salvation or even to earn more of God's love. But it's a response of faith and repentance every day that when we see sin bubble up in our lives, we go, WHOA, I know, now that's sin, and I
need to turn from it to Christ. A lot of times, I mean, I remember struggling as a young man with various temptations in sin, and even today I can get caught up in dwelling on the sin itself and going, man, don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. But as I think and dwell on not doing the sin, I'm still dwelling on the sin, and I'm not dwelling on Christ's So right, man, anonymous emailer, I'll say your question that might be the oldest question that mankind has
ever had. It's very common. You're not alone. You were asking one of the top five most common questions that any man has said I'm not, so I'm not suitable for God, and so is he going to forgive me? Like the crazy thing about Christianity is it really happens in the opposite way. It's the only one of the major religions that happens in the opposite way most most people, almost I think every religion other than Christianity is clean
yourself up and then go present yourself to God. Christianity is go to God and He will clean you up. And it's even. It starts with you need to realize how unclean you really are. And they start with this, Wow, Chad sitting here behind this microphone, we're buddy, in God's eyes, we're not any better than you. We're all we're all wretched and uh and inherently we're we're sinners. And so what you're doing, here's here's what I could. Here's what
Chad said. Let me say what Chad said. Instead of trying to quit doing something, instead of trying to move backwards and stop, instead move forwards towards God, and don't worry about stopping, because He's going to stop it for you. And it's a crazy thing if you are aligned with him. And so how do you be aligned with him. Well, starts with the Bible. It starts with It starts with
praying and reading and praying. Part of your prayer is that when you read, you'll understand and that it will those words will matter to you the way that they should. They're inspired, divine words, and you want to pray God. I'm about to open this book and I got all this sin going on, and I know, I know it's not good, but I can't stop it. And God's thinking, I know you can't stop it. You're not supposed to be able to. That's the crazy thing that most people miss.
You can't unless you have him. Then he could stop it for you. How does he stop it? Does he sin? Lightning bullets? Not really, he could, but he starts controlling your want to. He starts making you think, ugh, I don't really want to do that, this lustful thing that I've been doing, that I'm addicted to doing. And then the more and more I read the word, the more I pray, the more I listen to him, the less I want to do it. So it's not about trying
to quit, and that's hard to quit something. It's hard. It's more about I just don't care anymore. And what you're describing is there is one affection that begins to drive out another affection. Right, one desire gets driven out by another desire, because I mean, we all have temptations, we have appetites and hunger for sin without Christ, and when Christ comes into our life, we see something that's better.
But we don't always have that in clear view. We don't always see Christ for who he is and how much better he is and the life that he offers, and how much better it is. And so as we pursue him and seek him, what you're describing is that that we start to push out that desire, and our appetite and our desire for Christ pushes out our desire
for these other things that are just far less. They're fake, they're empty, they can't actually fulfill, they're very temporary, and the usually they actually take away what we want rather than fulfill what we want. They actually make a greater deficit in the desire that we have, and so it
doesn't fulfill. And so it's interesting that you talk about that consumer and you and I our friendship started over a conversation around fasting, and you think that that's one of the rare biblical kind of practices that is not really talked about a lot. I mean it's gaining pop popularity now in like health circles and fitness for innernat fasting,
and people are seeing the benefits. But before it was seen as a health benefit, it's always been a biblical concept that God assumed his people would do because it was a gift to them. That you're in fasting your desire, You're stoking the fires of one hunger, which is for God, and allowing that hunger to drive out other things. And one of my mentors, an older pastor early in my time as a pastor, he encouraged me to take on regular fasting. And I'm not talking about social media fasting,
I'm not. I'm talking about fasting from food because one of the base desires we have is food, and so if we can keep that hunger at bay, we see great success in other hungers. And your own story about fasting and the way that that played a role in your your life as a musician on the road touring and what it's done, I think is a sweet story you need to tell. Yeah. Yeah, And Chad and I have talked about fasting together is a big deal. To have that accountability. So to this email or fasting is
actually a good idea. I don't know how old he is. I don't want to recommend it. If he's twelve years old, thirteen years old, I hope I don't think he is. But yeah that I think. Here's your deal tonight. You just pray. You just say God. I mess up. I mess up every day and I can't. I can't seem to stop it. This fleshly desire, this worldly desire, just fall right back into this pattern. And I've tried and I can't take it from me. You take it, You
take it, and I'm going to lean into you. And when I feel this way, I'm gonna say this prayer again. And then I'm gonna open up my Bible. I'm gonna start somewhere in the goth And I know that people say this is crazy and the Bible can't be read, and it's weird, it's it's it doesn't even make any sense. But I'm going to find me a good one. And
I'm going to start right here at John One. I'm gonna start reading it, and then if I don't understand it, I'm gonna say God, I'll understand this, Help me understand it and lean into him. Start stop thinking about going back and cleaning up yourself. You can't lean into him
and keep throwing that prayer up. There also some practical things I talk with young guys, and this is stuff that I put in place when I was younger and wrestling with similar stuff, and that is you, first of all, have to identify what are the conditions around which that temptation comes. What's the trigger? What is it something you see? Is it something on your social media? Is it watching a certain show? Is it when you see certain people? But identify what's that trigger point and try to off
that source. Try to be mindful before that temptation comes. How can you set yourself up to avoid that or to stop that, you know, from coming into play. Also, have somebody that you can talk openly about this stuff with. The deep lie that we believe is that I can't share this with anybody because if I did, everyone would stop being my friend or they wouldn't want to be around me. And the enemy wins when we keep it in the dark. But when we expose this kind of
dark sin into the light, it stops having power. And it's the teeth are taken out of it when it starts to be exposed. And so find somebody you can kind of be openly able to confess this to and talk with and that they're going to hold you accountable and not somebody that's just going to go, hey, I understand, buddy, you know, but somebody's going to go, hey, okay, what's
your plan? How we going to work through this? And even if it's just me and Chad, yep, that's right, email back and we'll wrap it up with this fasting because fasting. Everything we've said this is fasting is a good practice for all this because one of the many benefits of it spiritual fasting is every time you feel hungry, you say God, it reminds you, you go, God, I hunger for you. You You alone, fulfill me, you alone, satisfied me,
You alone make me feel whole. And then your stomach growls and you feel it again and you get to practice it all over again, and it fasting. When you're fasting with food, it represents anything else that the world makes you crave. And it could represent anything. It could represent the lust that you're talking about, or it could be alcohol, could be anything that you need, and then you you fast with food because it's so easy to do.
I mean, it's it's not easy. It's so common because you eat every day, so it's just it's like clockwork. You just you start missing a couple of meals and your body screams at you and goes, what are you doing? Feed me? You always feed me. Now you're not feeding me. And that's speaking as if it's any other kind of addiction of the world. And you go, no, your brain, you use your mind, and your mind calms you and goes, no, God, you alone, satisfy me. Now, don't get stupid with this
and go for forty days or anything. Guys, Yeah, it starts slow. Would start slow. And what I recommend is when I talk about fasting with new believers or people just starting out, is take if you're a breakfast eater, just take that first day and instead of breakfast, go find a place where it's quiet and you can be without distraction and either throw some headphones in and listen to some worship music or spend some time praying asking
the Lord for help. But instead of eating, take the time you would normally eat to be with the Lord. Read the scripture worship Him. And then if you've done it over one meal, and next time, you want to try doing it for breakfast and lunch and so on. So forarth, start building that muscle memory around fasting, because there's nothing that God has provided us quite like fasting that fosters humility better than that good stuff. We'll take a break, be right back. Podcast has brought to you
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are health conference conscience. To make a daily commitment to your health again, visit Athletic Greens dot com slash granger and get your free one year supply of Vitamin D and five free travel packs. Today. I'm gonna kick it back to you. Kept Navy or baby Bible question finding friends, brain or soul. I'm in a predicament and no subject? Man, Well, we already kind of spoke to an air Force question. We definitely got into the Bible a little bit. What's
no subject? That's kind of one of these behind door number says. I'm a twelve year old boy who hunts ducks, goose hunts, archery, deer hunts, squirrel hunts, rabbit hunts. I also make and sell duck calls, ride four wheelers, love bass, fishing, woodworking, taxidermy, and make most of the stuff that I want I make. However, I'm kind of lost now after my grandpa, who got me into hunting, passed away a couple of weeks ago.
I really just have no idea what to do now, and I kind of feel like I don't have much else to try, and I feel like everything I do, I just get mad at myself. And every day I don't do anything productive. And one thing my grandpa would say is don't let school get in the way of your education. I was wondering if you think I should focus on my business or just to do kids stuff. And if you want to see some of the stuff
I've done, you can check out my Instagram pages. Dirty Water game calls so doesn't say his name twelve years old? Twelve years old? Yeah, oh man, his emails Albino Goose and so I'm pretty sure that's not his name. It's lost to Grandpa. That is. This is another one of these very common It doesn't hey, guys, it doesn't make it easier that it's common. It's just his losing that This is something that most everyone will go through, is losing to grandpa. And like I said, doesn't make it
any easier. It's still it's still devastating, especially to a twelve year old boy who learned all of this stuff, this outdoor stuff from his grandpa. And then the first thing I'll say is you're blessed that you had a grandpa that was able to get you outdoors and teach you all these these great things. And the price that you're paying now this grief that you're you're dealing with now is the price of how much you loved them. It's it's correlated how much how much you grieve, It's
correlated with how much you loved. So the more you love, the more you're going to grieve. And certainly you don't want to lose out on the love, so you'll you'll take the grief. Yeah, And it's it's understandable that you know, it kind of feels like a gut punch and you don't really feel like doing anything, and he can feel lost, especially when you lose somebody that's had such a big impact on you, and it's right to miss them. It's
right to mourn there that they're gone. And I can imagine it's hard when you go and engage in those activities and you're outdoors doing things that your grandpa tatia and you knew that he loved that it hurts too because you think about him and that he's not there. Eventually, it won't always feel like that. It's not always going
to feel like that. You are going to be able to return to doing the things that you enjoyed with your grandpa, And so don't lose sight of the fact that you know, those are things that you get to enjoy again and may still enjoy. But first of all, it's okay to grieve, it's okay to mourn, and there's no set time that that it's right or wrong to do that. You take the time that you need. Yeah, a couple of weeks thing, that's you're you're just in the heat of it right now. So there's no there's
nothing you saying that you've been unproductive. It's totally fine and totally understandable. It's and then it's gonna it's gonna get hot again. It's going to get hard again in the fall, you know, and this when it's uh duck season again, it's season again. It's gonna get tough again for you. And then every year will slowly start going by and you'll feel better about it, and you'll feel better about it. You won't you won't move on from your grandpa. He's always going to be with you in
your mind. But you're gonna move forward, and you're gonna go on and you're gonna take steps, and you're gonna get older, and then you're gonna start applying what he taught you to other people. Around you. Yes, that's a great point. That one of the ways that you can honor your grandpa and enjoy the things that you enjoyed with him is pass it along. I don't think you're too young to start teaching somebody else, a buddy or or maybe a cousin or somebody that's younger than you.
Just start teaching them what you've learned, and to pass that along and enjoy things with them. And when people say why'd you learn that, give them a big old grin and say, my grandpa, and that that's going to just feel so good in your heart because you just passed on something from him and you that's gonna that's gonna help you so much, and you're you're gonna be just fine. Buddy. I'm sorry for your loss, but you're you're you're in a good place. As far as should
I focus on my business or do kids stuff? What if you're doing business as a kid, you're still doing kids stuff, So that makes you happy. If you enjoy making duck calls, that's not a business, not yet at least, So yeah, man, if you love making duck calls and doing that kind of thing, have fun with it. That's a good word, so bible, question, finding friends, brain or soul. I'm in a predicament Navy or baby, Navy or baby. No one keeps coming out. Okay, here we go, it says.
My name is Avery. I'm thirty three from southern California. First of all, thank you. I'm a loyal listener. I've listened to every single podcast. My heart genuinely feels full to it all. I'm trying my best to keep this short. I pull off my dream of the military. Ten years ago, post college, my dad had a severe stroke. I quit my job and moved to be with my parents. When things became more stable with my dad, I jumped back
into work. Years have been going by and my husband now and through both and though both of us have been working and saving relentlessly, we were feeling the financial response. Excuse me, we're feeling the financial possibilities of having a baby, and we're feeling like that could be getting further and further away, shifting gears a bit. When a pandemic hit, it struck a chord with me, and I realized how much I needed to revive my military dream, even if
it's just in the reserves. So I've been pursuing the Navy for a year now, but things keep happening. My dad, my husband lost his dad unexpectedly. I broke my foot then tore some ligaments training, and I'm just at a point where I'm trying to be real realistic with myself. At what point do I let go knowing that as a female that we don't have all the time in the world to have a family. Do I wait and go back into the military. What do you guys think?
Loved everybody? Avery h So that last thing, it says, did I wait too long to go back to the military? So she's does she say her age thirty three? Thirty three? She did? Yeah, thirty three. They're feeling the financial possibilities of having a baby are getting further away. I don't like that sentence. I don't know. I don't I'm confused by it. But it sounds like maybe they're in a position now where they could be comfortable, like in their minds,
comfortable at having a baby. It says years have been going by with my husband now, and though both of us have been working and saving relentlessly, we're feeling the
financial possibilities of having a baby geting further away. It sounds like they feel like they don't have enough money right to start a family, and I just want to I always want to rebuke that, but because that's just this, there's this mentality, there's modern mentality of like, man, you got to you gotta save a ton of money for kids, And honestly, daycare is what's causing that. We we've been we've we haven't ever had daycare for my kids. But when I talk to friends that have, it's like twelve
hundred dollars a kid in some places. Yeah, so if you have two or three, it's a big deal. So I think because diapers and formula, it's it's it's not that much, you know. I think you're right to count the cost, right you want to go, Okay, are we in a position where this would be irresponsible and we can't make ends meet now as it is? But I also think like they'll sound like that couple. No, I would say, there is nothing more difficult and yet more
rewarding than being a parent. It's when I got married that was the first step in realizing just how selfish I was. Like, when you start sharing life with somebody else and sharing everything with them, you realize real quickly just how self centered you are, and you've got to wrestle with that and die to self a lot. And then we had our first child, and true it's born, and I'm like, if I don't intervene like constantly in
his life, he's not going to live. So like my focus had to be about him and helping him and serving him, and so my wife and I and so having kids is going to accentuate any issues you have in your relationship, in your marriage. It doesn't solve, it doesn't fix. It's not it's it's you take that step if you think you're bold enough and brave enough to die to self and to live a life of self sacrifice,
because that's what parenting really is all about. Yeah, So she says, at what point do I let go as a female that we don't have all the time in the world to have a family. Are she saying, at what point do I just say we're not going to have a family, let go as a female, knowing that that's a biological clock is? I guess? So I think that's what she's saying. And at thirty three, she's not wrong, especially if there's no plan right now, which means you're a couple of years from having a baby if you
started now. So man, I'm going to lean if you're just the once again, this is a campfire conversations me Avery, Chad. I'm going to say, you drop everything to have the baby. Yeah,
I'm in that corner. I'm on team baby if the baby, if it doesn't happen, if you don't conceive, and you pass your biological clock, then you got the rest of your life to go and do what you wanted to do, what you thought you were going to do with this military or adopt or foster or Yeah, that but that absolutely, I'm so pro family, and yeah, have kids and the love that you and your husband have and share, expand the boundaries on that and and start bringing others into
that through parenting. Yeah, I'm all for it. That's that's my you know, whether you like it or not, that's my drop everything and put all the eggs in that basket. No pun intended. They Okay, so we're gonna go back to you want me to pick one of these things. Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm in a predicament. Yeah, hey, Granger, money is Aaron, Let's see. No, I already did that. One did that on how about brain or soul? That's that's what brain or soul like that one says I've
loved your music for a few years now. I don't know. I didn't know you until recently that you had a podcast, and I've absolutely love it. I've been watching episodes every day, sometimes two a day on YouTube, every single night. I love the around the camp fire field. It feels like sort of a fellowship for me and something I crave as a way to unwind after work each evening. Anyway, my question is in regard to the podcast that you
had in early April. The topic of the question you're answering was suicide, and I was wondering your opinion on this is the trauma people may experience in life that leads to suicide, perhaps more trauma to the soul than it is to the brain. I know. I've struggled with suicide a few different times in my life over the years, and the only way I got through those times was by leaning into God and by being out in nature. Looking back, for me, I believe it was damaging to
the soul, but that's just me. I don't know. Hopefully, diving into this question may help a listener out there somewhere. PS please do a show in Colorado some time, Anthony, So, have you talked about suicide before on the podcast? Yeah, I don't remember this episode that he was referring to. But I've dealt with suicide a lot. I say a lot. I've dealt with suicide a fair amount, and it's typically
military related. I did a documentary in twenty eighteen and it featured five fallen soldiers and I walked one hundred miles twenty miles for each soldier and featured who they were in their lives. And one of the one of the guys that was lost, was a suicide. And so through the through this research that we did for the documentary, we had to learn and this this particular soldier, it was clear that he was he was damaged mentally like
his physical brain. His physical brain was fine, Okay, he saw and did things that did some kind of neurological damage that's undetectable because he became a different person. He lived a different life, He reacted differently, talked differently. He was not the same person before the injury. It's something I learned that, Wow, this is actually you could see
that not all injuries are visible in an MRI. And when a guy comes back without a leg in Afghanistan, you could instantly know, Okay, this guy, you know he served and he did this, and this is his story. But when a guy comes back physically fine, you kind of tend to just put him back into society as if he doesn't need a ramp or a wheelchair or assistance in anything. You just give him a job and say go and so and then I've seen that story repeat itself many times. That's why we have such a
high number of suicides that are military related. So the question is a deep one brain or soul? Is it? Is it? He said? Is it more trauma to the soul than it is to the brain. So so what I'm gonna say is it's trauma to the brain. And I'm gonna say that from a from a Christian perspective that that the Bible says fear the one that could that could destroy your soul, which is God. I don't think. I don't think we're capable of destroying our soul. You
don't think we can damage it? Well, because we I think biblically and philosophically we are souls that have bodies. Our soul animates our body, and I think that there is a connection between the two that is really difficult to explain. That's it. There's a connection between these two things. So the Anthony might be, like this question, might be saying the same thing. It's suicide more trauma to the
soul than it is to the brain. There's a connection between that you can't and we don't just we just don't know the extent of that connection and how that works. So so back to me when I said you can't see it on the MRI, maybe that maybe that's the damage to the soul because you can't see the soul. So maybe you're right, this is a soul issue, which is actually what Anthony's arguing here. And then you get into the nuance between what's the difference between a spirit
and a soul. What you actually study this stuff in undergrad as a philosophy major, and I did my final thesis paper on philosophy of the mind and all that kind of stuff, and there's just a lot of different opinions and approaches to what we can and can't understand. But I strongly believe in the metaphysical realm, like the soul and the spirit and you know those kind of things, and they're deeply connected to the physical and I think they both influence each other and we just don't understand it.
So I agree. I think it's damage and it has effect, and there are some things that only God can heal. Yeah, Jesus says, I will give you rest for your souls. It's so. So then you wonder, is that the only recovery that a soul could have, a damaged soul could have, is the only recovery to come to Christ. That's what he says. Yes, it's deep, deep, that's for the other podcast. Yeah,
this is deep. I mean, that's I'm interested in some If you're watching on YouTube and you see some comments on this, I'm sure we'll kind of see both sides. What is the connection of the brain and the soul. There is a you could you could biblically make a lot of connections between the brain and the soul. But if you're damaged enough to be suicidal, which is usually typically suicide happens from a chain of events that have
happened or seeing or done. So if you can't see it on a scan if you can't see a chunk of the brain missing, but there is a I have seen it with my own eyes. There is damage to a person that happens from PTSD. There's something you could you could do something. Let me just put it in perspective. Well, I just wrote a song. I just did this. I worked with this company, this really cool disabled vet organization that brings in songwriters and writes songs with disabled bets
as a healing process. You tell their story through the music. It's called Creative Vets. It's a really cool deal. So that the one I did I wrote with a marine a Marine VET that was the father of a suicide victim, his son Chris. The one we wrote the story about.
His story is he was in Iraq and it was I hear this so many times when I hear the suicide military suicide, that you hear a story of a young man that's just full of life, like the the class clown in high school, very always outgoing and brave. Because those are usually the guys that end up on the front lines. Those are usually the personality traits that get you kicking indoors in urban warfare. I could see that, Yeah,
you're not a desk guy. If you're yo, hey, what's the life of the life of the room wherever you are, You're the guy I think gets on the in the you know, in the hum vy and you're out there. You're the first one out of the door, the first one kicking in the door. You're the first one. So that so anyway, the story that's got Chris, he's that kind of guy. And one day they're they're out on a convoy and they have to go into a building and a run down part of Iraq in the city.
They kick open a door. There's a there's a known Taliban guy in here in this building. They're looking for him and kicking the door and they see him. There's the Taliban guys. They're in the room. They have their hands up. These guys they were Marines. They're off their guns on them. And a little girl comes from between the talabana starts coming right at him and they're screaming at her stop stop stop. She's like nine years old and she's coming at him without stopping, and he pulls
the trigger shoots it right between the eyes. She falls. He looks back at the same time and looks behind him and there's a little doll on the ground behind him. She was coming to get the doll, and that killed him. Essentially, he returned home, he re entered civilian lifestyle. He could not stop seeing that little girl. And usually when you hear these kind of stories of suicide, it's typically not
something that you witnessed, it's something you did. That's the hardest thing, from my understanding, the hardest maybe that's the sole damage thing is when you do it. You did it that I've heard. There was the documentary We made the guy ran over a child on purpose because they were blocking the convoy and they they were creating a threat, an unknown threat. And as we know, this little girl could have had a grenade in her pocket. The little girl could have could have killed any one of the
men that were with him. They know that, we've known that since since the World War One? So is that how you damage your soul? And I, yeah, I think that the only repair, the only restoration that can come for for soul damage comes through Jesus Christ. Jesus says, come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. It's the only way. Yeah, yeah, take my yoke and learn from me from gentle and humble and heart, humble and heart, and you will have
rest for your souls. So that's a good word. So last time I was here, we got a question about you covering like a gospel song. Did you get any feedback on that? Yeah, I think a lot of people. Yeah, do it. So I have to go back. You wanted to hit one more here, and we'll let everybody get back to their their evening or the morning or whenever
they watch. Shout out to every Shout out to the commuters and the over the road truckers and the would that guy say he'd liked to unwind and listen to it in the evenings after work, finding friends or Bible question your call, Chad. The pressure's on you will jump into finding friends. Okay, Hello Grangeer. My name is Tony. I'm twenty two. I'm from Surrey, UK. Love your podcast. It's really maybe changed the way I look at certain
things and act. And I've seen sent several episodes to friends and family for them to watch and hopes that they would appreciate the show as much as I do. My question is I'm pretty lonely at the moment. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't have a girlfriend. I've distanced myself from all my friends after realizing they weren't good company. I do know, I do not know how I can make friends with new people. The only time I go out is either with my
family or by myself out in the country. So there really isn't a chance for me to meet new people. Any advice or any of your own personal experiences that could help me, ye yee for life, Tony from UK. I mean, I just think growing up I moved around a few times, and as an adult, my family and I we've moved to different locations around the country. And for us, it happens around common interests. If there's stuff that we like to do, we tend to meet people
when we go do stuff. You know, and this may be the obvious pastoral answer, but we also find deep friendships through church and getting involved in a local church and doing things outside of church with those people that we attend church with or the people that are a part of the church that we're with. But yeah, and then when you start having kids, you start they start doing extracurricular things, and so when your kids are involved
in something. You're standing there with other parents whose kids are also interested in involved in things. So friendship tends to happen around activities and mutual interests. And so that's or I would tend to go. Yeah, I agree. I don't know where Surre is Surre in the UK or how big a talent it is, But you say any advice or your or your own personal experience, Well, I am. I don't know. I don't know if this is a parent or not, but I'm I'm generally introverted when it
comes to social events, like I'm not. I've never been the guy that's like, where's a party tonight? It takes a lot to get me out. She kind of a homebody. I'm kind of a homebody and I would rather just could we just cook something here? You know? And So my point to being, if you're truly lonely, like you're saying, and you need it, you kind of crave that that relationship, you're gonna have to step out and be a little bit uncomfortable and go, you know what, I'm gonna go
to this soccer game. That's what we say here, Tony, we say soccer. I want to go to this soccer game by myself, you know, and it's gonna be that's gonna be awkward and weird. But the reward you can get out of that by mingling and finding some people and they're yelling for the same team, and you go, where are you guys from? And they live down the road and so do I, and then you start this relationship. And it might take a little effort, it might take
and might take some being some awkward. You might want to go to your local pub, you know, and order your favorite I'm trying to think of some things here. I'm trying to think of some British things here. You're gonna bangers and mash and fish and chips. Yeah, you know, go to the Golden Chippy now that's in London and uh yeah the pub pub. Yeah, get you some fish and chips and and you got to just start conversations. It's tough for an introvert. It sounds like that's what
you are. It's tough to's just start a conversation with a perfect stranger, or to go somewhere by Some people think going somewhere by themselves it's humiliating. I love it, but I love going to eat by myself and there's a way to go. And yes, it's it feels awkward to you, it may not be awkward to other people. But then there are ways you can make it creepy. So if you go to this soccer game, don't be like all like in people's personal space or staring at
them and then lead with will you be my friend? Like, you don't want to be that guy either, because that's just creepy. What we're skipping around here at with Chad and I, what we're really thinking is go to church and become a member of a small group you're going to have. If you have theological things in common, then friendships will will blossom through that. So you're now hearing the first time in the podcast the garage door going up. This is the new space. This is a sweet dat.
I like it. Bertie came in. The first thing Bertie said was where's the blue lord? Yeah, the blue board. But it's appropriate that you're now the second the second guest, Tony. I appreciate you, buddy. I hope you find your friends. We all need connection, and this past year we've all
learned more than ever. Humans are built for connection. We're built to have friends and family, and in Okinawa, I think I've read the Okinawa has the most centurions that you say it people living over the age of one hundred, more than any other country. And the only thing we could really trace it to is they value family more
than almost every other culture. There's babies living with old people and everybody in between in the same house, and they all do things together, and they all eat meals together, and it equals a longer life. That goes back to our first question with your in laws. Maybe I don't remember that guy. Well, you said east, and it doesn't get any farther east than Okinawa. They just view it differently in the East than they do in the West. In the West it's all about independence and find them
own place and blaze in my trail. They don't think that way in most of the world. So love you guys. We're out of time. If you want more, Chad, well, I know you do, so thanks for having me, ye ye, thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye