They don't want to admit they're bad. They want to say they're they're good, and they're trying to fight this world the urge. But the fact is, it's not the world, it's not the culture, it's not society. It's you. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the podcast. Episode two two three. Got my favorite man, Bernie here, one of my best friends for decades and a frequent guest on the podcast.
It's an honor privilege every time. I don't take it lightly.
I could tell you mean that because you drive an hour to get here.
Yeah, it's a privilege and it's so cool. I remember this whole invitation kind of started with me. I don't know if you remember this, Like me and you and Leslie and Amber were just sitting around and we're basically doing what we're doing now, and I think as Amber was like, yeah, you should have Bernie on the podcast. It's like you just do what you're doing. And I was like, okay, I'll do that, so yeah, man, And then it turned into.
This, yeah, so y'all what we do? We answer y'all's questions and I do not know what I'm about to read. That's it's intriguing for me. I'm actually excited. Just as I said here, I'm like, man, I have no idea what we're about to get into on this episode, no clue. I don't see them at all. I used to at least sort them. I don't even sort them, forgot ant Man producing this thing now, so he sorts them, and I just literally pull it up on this little screen
right here. And if you want to get on this little screen right here, email podcast at grangersmith dot com. Podcast at grangersmith dot com. Submit your questions. It goes to ant Man, and you may even want to tell him hey, But then everything after that is what I'm about to read. First question comes from Dalton and it says, Hey, Granger, I've been a long time watcher of the Smiths and been a fan of you for a long time. I'm interested to hear your opinion on tattoos as a Christian,
since that could be a dicey subject. I'm aware that you obviously have some meaningful tattoos, and I also have one that I got from my best friend that passed away in a car accident in February. I appreciate all you do and look forward to attending another sermon. Next time you're in Columbus Burns. You got a tattoo? I do?
I got a couple couple. Yeah.
I don't think it's a dicey question subject.
I think culturally maybe there's like I don't know, everything's polarizing these days. It's like, well, if you don't believe this, then you must believe that. And it's like, well, no, there's nuanced to life and there's so I think that's probably what he meant by dicey, Like if you say this, then.
Yeah, so you said if you believe this, and you must believe this. If you don't believe right.
Well no, people tend to think, well, if you don't believe this, then you must believe that, and it's like, well, actually, maybe I don't believe either of those things.
Yeah. And the other idea is similar to that is when hey, mister Christian speaking from you know, outside, Hey, mister Christian, you can't you can't pick and choose what you want to believe out of the Bible. And if you believe this, then you need to believe that. And if you don't believe that, then you shouldn't believe anything else in the Bible right, And that's a false statement because we're called from the Bible itself, as it testifies
to itself, to rightly divide the word of truth. What does that mean, Well, it means we have to understand the context of everything we read. We have to we can't we God intentionally meant everything that's included in the Bible for an intentional reason, and that intention doesn't always go straight to us. For example, God commanded Noah to build an arc. That doesn't mean that we're commanded to build an arc. He commanded Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree. He doesn't have any trees that
he's commanded us not to eat from. So there's many examples like that where we have to understand. Okay, hang on, let's divide. Let's rightly divide the word. It's all truth, all of it, but let's rightly divide it into what we're supposed to take today. And if we're talking about biblical tattoos, we'll start with the context of the Mosaic law, which has to be rightly divided into ceremonial and civil and moral. So if you take those three aspects of the old Mosaic law, then you have to go okay.
There were certain parts of the law that were civil. It's like, this is the law of the land. It's like speeding, don't speed, okay, and then you've got the which, by the way, speeding changes over generations. A civil law is not the same in different civilizations. It changes to pay attention to the civil law in that place, and then ceremonial that the people at the time were under ceremonial law for certain reasons that we are just not under today. One of those reasons, there's many, but one
of them, tattoos, is a good example of one. That they were called to be holy. The Bible says, you shall be holy for I the Lord your God, am holy, holy, meaning separate, separated, different, be you should be different, and and tattoos were a symbol at the time of the paganism of the nations around Israel. So one of the laws was don't mark yourself because that's what the people, that's what the pagans do. And you know how you want people to know you're different, and you want to
know you're different. Don't get those tattoos because that deliberately means that you're one of them, not one of us. Okay, that's easy. And then there's the moral law. The moral law. Do not kill, do not commit a dirtary. Oh, it's actually, do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not lie, do not steal all that stuff, do not make idols. Okay, those are the moral law that still lasts today, and we still abide by that law today. So all that
being said, that that's rightly dividing the truth. Understand the context of how this stuff was given, and that's why you might think that this is a dicey subject. It's actually not. But after all that, this is what I typically say. I'd get these emails quite a bit on the podcast. I typically say today, as I read this podcast,
I do not want to get any more tattoos. I'm not saying I will not, but I'm saying I have no desire and I would not recommend it to anyone because not because it's unbiblical or because it it's not pleasing to God. I'm not going to go there. It's too deep. I'm not going to go there. But I'm going to say it's a it's a permanent mark on your body for probably a temporary feeling that you're having. So although I do have some and I don't regret them,
I would say, don't get tattoos. Yeah, that was a long answer, dude.
I'm sure this may be a time that me and Griz disagree.
Great, what bring it? Bring it?
No, I'm not really, but I'm okay with tattoos.
You want to get one.
I think that what you said is important. Don't make this a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling.
Okay.
I got buddies that have, you know, cartoon character tattoos that they just don't really love those cartoon characters the way they did it one time.
It's like, I sure done that.
Both of the tattoos that I have are very sentimental, very meaningful, and I do not regret doing them.
And that's how you kind of want it to be.
I I think they're awesome. I love asking people about them. You know, the connection that you can find with people in the conversation starters. And so yeah, I'm going to differ a little bit maybe and say yes, make sure that you know you're you know what it means, because if you get the Chinese writing that you don't know what it means, and it's like an insult to Chinese people, like that's on your body forever, So make sure you know like all of what it is that you're doing.
But I think it's interesting that he's asking this, but he already did it or he already has Yeah, he's yeah, So hopefully he doesn't have like a cartoon or Chinese writing.
He doesn't know. He says, it's his friend that passed away.
Yeah, dude, yeah, yeah.
Dude, I've got I've got the same stuff. Man, we're you and I Dalton, We're in the same boat. And so yeah, I'm not saying I I don't agree with tattoo? Is it over spiritualizing tat I'm not saying. I'm just saying as a general advice that I'm going to get from this microphone on this chair, not yours. I'm just gonna say, hey, just don't, sir.
Are you telling me we're not going to get matching tattoos after this?
We still I thought we still have to get tattoos. The next questions from anonymous is I'm a twenty one year old girl still living at home. I have three sisters and we have quite a few years apart in age between us. All I've especially never been close to my older sister, and it's been a burden to me recently, and I'm tired of putting energy or thought into it. She's a single, quiet, introvert, and we are quite different. She never has been the open type and doesn't put
effort into my life. And what I do point out is that I just keep praying about it, and I want to let go of that burden, and it's all on me right now. I think a friendship needs to be a two Oh, I get it. I get it. I have the fear that the distant relationships in our family is going to continue when or if I have a family myself and I have quite a few hard things that have happened in my life and that have
shaped the way I think. Here's the question, how do I move forward in a healthy way when I see things differently than my own family and I don't feel I'm heard when I share my feelings. I love your podcast and how you're not afraid to be brutally honest, but it's all in love. Okay, do you understand Anonymous? Here?
I'm tracking enough to kind of answer the question. I guess, why don't you just recap and then hit the question.
So she's twenty one, still lives at home, three sisters, she's the oldest, she's the oldest. They're all very different, and that difference and that distance is now a burden to her, a weight about that. But she's also tired of trying to repair things and trying to pull the family together. She feels like she's not heard when she's trying to do it, and she has a fear that's
only going to get worse. And she also what is the one part she said she thinks she's the only one, and I'm trying to find the one part where she's she's going on about how this is all about her.
Basically, Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
Okay, so that I got it, I got it all right. What do you say to anonymous here? Yeah?
I think I appreciate where you're at and you care enough to email in.
People are just weird, man.
People are annoying, and family, especially like human beings, we are just like very different, annoying people. And if you live with somebody or get close enough to them, you're going to realize exactly how annoying they are and how odd and weird and challenging. They are just we're people.
So I think my thought to her is, man, just try to put on that lens of gratitude and focus on the good in them, the gift of relationship and family, and maybe that kind of ushers in the grace that you can have for them when you're have different thoughts or different and really you're just as messed up as they are.
So that's the bottom line line.
Yeah, that's good. The thing is and so am I we all Yeah, yeah, we all deal with this. I deal with it for sure. The idea that I just want to be heard, I want so I want to ask you, like, do you want to be heard or do you want to fix this relationship? Because those might be two different things. You say, I don't feel like i'm heard when I share my feelings and I see things different than they do. Well, is it was this
ever about you or repairing a family? Because you might not be able to get both of those things, like you can't you might not be able to repair this and be heard and share your feelings and they all think you're amazing. So repairing the family might be saying I'm going to deny myself a little bit here and just say I love you guys. How could I serve?
Yeah?
What could my role in the family be?
Yeah, grace and move on to a place where you do have a little bit healthier communication and you're in a better place, because then I think if you focus on that, you focus on them and serving them and listening to them, I think they may actually hear your feelings a bit a.
Little bit better.
Right, Yeah, Again, you got to find them where they are. And here's an example. Say one of them is like really into volleyball, and you're as far from a volleyball player as anyone could be. Well, what if she's out in the backyard hypothetically and she's just hitting the volleyball up against the house. You might want to walk out there and just go, hey, you need a partner, Hey, how do I put my hands? How do you do that? You put your thumbs like this, and you will you
show me how to hit that. You're coming to her level. You're meeting her where she is, and you're just breaking all the barriers by doing that. And inside you're thinking, I hate volleyball. This is so stupid. It's cold out here. Why are we doing just deny all that and go this is about repairing a relationship. That's what you wanted to begin with. Meet them where they are, and then watch the barriers breakdown. When Amber and I started getting
serious and dating, I wrote her a song. And then whenever we got married and we needed a first dance for a wedding, I wrote a song for that. And then I remember, we got pregnant with London, and I wrote London a song. And that's always what I've done. It's what I've always done and what I still do today. And those songs have been and still are so special
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songfinch dot com slash Granger. Don't wait, get started now. Next question is from Travin. It says, Hey Granger, I'm thirty three. I'm from Florida. Just wanted to say it's inspiring to watch you battle through adversities. It's been a blessing to watch the Lord and his strength carry you through to where you are now. I enjoy all that you do to serve the Lord and preach his kingdom. I too went through a painful loss in January twenty
twenty as my mom passed away. While it's far different from what you went through, it was very deep hurt for me and crushed me far greater than I ever could comprehend at the time. It came only a year after divorcing my college sweetheart, and losing my home to a Category five hurricane. For so long, I was in a dark place. I was angry with God. I couldn't make sense as to why he allowed me to hurt so much. By his grace, I currently see light that
I'm running to. I honestly just need some encouragement. Man. Some days I feel so numb. I started back on antidepressants and they're helping me, but it's a battle. I could use some encouragement. Okay, let me back up here. I always always have to clear something up. Anytime I see this, and I see it quite a bit, I always have to clear up the one sentence you wrote where you said, while it's a far far different pain than what you went through, it's still a very deep
hurt for me. I gotta say, hang on a second. It's always relative. Pain is relative to what you're going through in your life. I didn't know your mom, so therefore I didn't love your mom. You loved your mom, you didn't love River. I think that's what you're talking about, and therefore you can't understand that. So it's all relative. But pain is pain. So I I have not lost my mom. Bernie has I have not lost my mom,
so I can't relate to what you're saying. But I do know that pain is pain, loss is loss, love is love, and losing someone that you love equals grief. Okay, So let's just establish that you didn't hurt less than me. Okay, you wrote it crushed me far greater than I ever could have comprehended at the time. That is a powerful sentence, by the way, that is powerful. And then it came after you divorced your college sweetheart, your home to a Category five hurricane.
Yeah, did they leave the name.
Travin?
Travin? Okay?
I think if what you're looking for, Travin is encouragement, man, you should be encouraged to be to go through what you have been through and to still, as you said, see the light and be walking towards it and moving towards it.
I think that that's pretty awesome, man.
And to be writing in to granture, to be able to have the courage to bevulnerable enough with your story, it takes a lot.
And so I hope you're encouraged to just.
Keep one day, one moment at a time, man, practice the presence of God at each step of the.
Way for him to walk with you. Yeah. Man, I'm encouraged by hearing this.
So we got a similar question last week. Bernie Travin says, I was angry at God. I couldn't make sense as to why he allowed me to hurt so much. Now, we answered that question last week Travin and I could send you to that episode. It was episode two twenty two, and I'm going to answer it a different way. Now I'm gonna give you a new answer that has nothing to do with the answer I gave last week about why we should answering the question of I'm angry at God?
Why would he allow me to hurt? And I'll answer it in the form of one of my favorite psalms, because I personally have found so much peace in the psalms and so much encouragement through the psalms, partly because we're listening to David, who is what we know is a man after God's own heart, and he just struggled, but he had a godly struggle. That's a good model for us. He suffered, but he had a good godly suffering and he suffered well. So you're not promised as
a Christian that you're not going to suffer. In fact that if you ever hear that, that's a huge lie. If someone says, follow Jesus and all your suffering will be over, Christians laugh, It's like no. Sometimes a lot of times it's the opposite. In fact, giving up your life for Christ, denying yourself, which offers eternal life and offers so much hope and peace joy, giving up yourself stings a lot. So there's a lot of pain and suffering that goes through that. Let me read Psal. I'm thirteen,
and you can hear. David. I want you to hear how he suffers. Well, I also want you to hear how he asks the same questions you're asking. And then I want to show you how, even though that's the way he feels, I want you to see how he reconciles the way he feels with what he knows of who God is. It's just six short verses. How long, o Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my
heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me Oh Lord, my God, light up my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death. Lest my enemies say I have prevailed over him. Lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I trust in your steadfast love. My heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt
bountifully with me. And you see these kind of psalms throughout all the happy psalms, you see the lamenting ones, and you see the ones that attempt to question God. And it's just great how the Bible gives us this road map of Oh, you think you're alone. You think you're the only one that has suffered through loss and loss of a home and loss of a loved one, a sweetheart. You think you're the only one that has felt anger maybe at God, and wondered why he would
allow you to hurt so much. And then we get back in his word and we go, oh, man, not alone, We're not alone. We're so far from it.
Man, So I'm thirteen. That's a good one. That's a good one to point in to.
I'll just give you a practical from that, because I know from experience that what we look at and what we listen to really dictate a lot of our heart posture and our minds right what we think about. So one of my favorites, Shane and Shane did a Psalm album a long time ago, and they did Psalm thirteen.
They wrote a song and.
Just listen to that album of songs of all of these SOMs, because that is a similar cry, you know, throughout that throughout Psalms and throughout that record, but that that song in particular of Psalm thirteen. Just put it on repeat when you're driving and let let that just kind of like be what you meditate on, what you
think of. So when you start to kind of go here and you're like, no, he's been good to me, like and you're not the first one to suffer and all those and just be open like, man, what is God gonna like speak to me through through that?
So easy way to just keep it.
That's a great the.
Front of mind.
That's a great idea that it's a great record. What's interesting is that when you when you think about Psalm thirteen or the mini Psalms that are laments or questions to God are wrestling with God's what's interesting about it all. It's like you go, how could these people? Why is that good to wrestle with God? Well, the answer usually is you're in communication with him. You're bringing it to him. That's what he wants. Bring it to me. You got questions,
don't go try to find it in the world. Bring it to me. Ask me, how will I leave you forever? How long will I hide my face from you? Ask me come to me, join me in fellowship, Get on your knees, because when you do that, you're in a relationship. We're directly talking, we're communicating, and that's often forgotten.
Oh for sure.
Sometimes it's like God, why yeah, why yeah? But you're talking to him.
Yeah.
It's almost like there's this we're presenting a lack of faith if we ask the hard questions and it's like, no, I want to believe even deeper. And if I ask in I wrestle. That's how I'm going to get to the deeper. So go and ask those questions, for sure, wrestle.
Bernie and Bernie asked a question earlier on where do the word podcast come from? I have no idea. I looked up a history of the word podcast, and I'm not that I can't immediately see the answer. So I would say comment below. If you're listening on a on a platform that allows you to comment, someone look it up for us and find out the history of the word pod cast. Be interested speaking to podcast. If you have a question for me, email podcast at grangersmith dot com.
And this question comes from Alex says, Hey Granger I'm a longtime fan of you and the podcast. I'm thirty years old and in twenty eighteen, I married my wife, whom I was with for ten years at the time, and we had a beautiful little girl together. Throughout our relationship, I had a hard time being faithful to her and we ended up getting divorced. In twenty twenty, I met the love of my life and the most amazing woman.
We are so happy together every single day. After being together three years, I went to a concert with some of my buddies and there was a woman that was sitting next to me and we were having a good time during the show and I ended up getting her number and some things were said. My girlfriend saw these texts, knowing my past, she left me. She is the love of my life and all I want is to be with her. Some just comes over me and I make these horrible decisions and they end up flipping my world
upside down. I'm not a bad man, I just know. I just don't know how to stop these mistakes. I don't want to cheat. I don't want to be this man. Alex. That's a good one man. So no real question in there, right, just to like confession, that's a good question. It's a good confession because I don't think I've ever seen a question quite like this one. And and the it's impossible, Alex, it's impossible for me to give to give you a
good it's not a question. So it's I don't know if I should say answer or analysis of this without heavily leaning on my biblical worldview. Same with Burns and there are there are a couple of things from my biblical worldview that just scream at me from this email. And one of them is and probably not definitely not the thing you're thinking about, but here it is. This one line says I'm not a bad man. Now. What's crazy about that is that that's the common understanding. In fact,
Luke Bryan has a song. Have you ever heard that song?
It's like Greater Smith's the only country that I used to listen to he retired though Luke Brian is a.
Song called gets called something like I Believe All people are good. It's this idea like I believe all people are good. We're mostly good, and that is, it's a common idea, and most people think that most people that think they're good are most people that think that most people are good. And Alex is one of them. And
he says I'm not a bad man. And and so he's trying to reconcile this, like as I'm watching the struggle in the in the email, It's like, man, I'm trying to wrestle with the idea that I'm not bad. I'm good, But I just don't know how to stop making these mistakes. What's going on? I'm not crazy, Granger, but I you know, I I don't understand how a good man like there's bad men out there. That's that's what he's insinuoud.
That's what he's It's almost like this standard of good and bad that is, And he doesn't mention anything about God or Jesus or a biblical worldview, right he doesn't.
Yeah, he doesn't.
Yeah, So his standard or his idea, his worldview of what good and bad is is probably going to be very different than I know.
It's great and hey, Alex, I love you, bro, and I'm really glad you asked this in this way so that we could answer it in this way, because it's it's really important to talk about you say, I'm not a bad man, insinuating that there must be bad men. There must be people that that are like child traffickers and rapist murders, the bank robbers, there's there's there must be some guys like in the hills of South America
that are doing really bad things. Hey, I'm just going to a concert getting the girl's number, and I just I like beautiful women. Hey, how do you fault me on that? Guys? I love beautiful women. That's what That's what he's saying, Okay, And it's it's really important for us to kind of reel this in because you emailed this podcast under this biblical worldview. And here's what the
Bible says. No one is good, not even one. The Bible says, all of you have gone astray, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, all of you. That is a crazy thought in the opposite of the world and so instead of like this grating on a curve, Like there's these really bad men in South America that do these horrible things in child trafficking, and then there's these men that like rob banks. That's the second tier, and then there's like the third tier
that's like the drunk dad that neglects his children. And then here's where I am. I'm like the fourth tier, and that's like just kind of just can't really stay faithful to a girlfriend. So I'm not bad. The Bible says, no, all of you bad, all of you, all of your sinners, oh even you priest, even you monks, even you Buddhist climb in the mountain in the Himalayas, You're all bad, And we go, what what about our own conscience agrees that this is true, because the reason the monks climb
those mountains is because they feel it in them. They feel the evil in them, and they're trying everything that can to eradicate it and try to meditate long enough, or try to be good long enough, or try try to sacrifice enough things, or to try to try to read enough of scripture, or try to deny themselves. Women like that. That's another bad thing to try to say I'm just gonna be celibate, you know, like I'm not. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be with any women ever.
I'm just gonna be seeing. These are all things that man creates to try to fight against the urge that they are bad. They don't want to admit they're bad. They want to say they're they're good, and they're trying to fight this world, the urge. But the fact is, it's not the world. It's not the culture, it's not society. It's you, Alex. You need to hear this. You are bad. And I could say that because I have the same disease. It's called sin. We inherited it from our ancestors. And
there's no way you're born. Not one human is born without it. In fact, if you've do you have kids, yeah, you have a beautiful little girl. I guarantee you. You saw her at two years old, you knew she was a sinner, and she was born with it. There is no not even a child that is good. There's innocent children. There's a difference between innocent and sinful, and children are sinful. Man,
They're born with it. So that's the worldview that that's like the groundbreaking idea that's gonna just shatter this whole email. Right at the bat, we go, Yeah, we knew you were bad. You're the only one in this table right here, Alex, that didn't know you were bad. You didn't know that your flesh, this lustful idea, that your flesh is reaching out to these women. You thought that was something the world was doing to you because of culture. Maybe you're
blaming it on porn. Are you blaming it on Instagram because it showed you? Are you blame it on this concert? And these friends took me and this girl is so beautiful and I'm gonna blame it on her. The Muslims blame it on the women, like you shouldn't dress like that cover up because I don't want to look at you, because I don't want to indulge my flesh, because I can't help it if I see you, if I see
more than your eyeslits. And so with that, this is taking a long time, sorry, but under I love this idea though, because it's this is this is what the world says, and the contrary to the world, the Bible says, because of your sin, you can't be with God. You're you're out, you're disqualified. You want to be with God. Here's how you get to be with God. Be perfect. Your heavenly father's perfect, so you should be perfect. That's how you get to heaven by being perfect. Oh wait
a minute, Alex, you've already failed. I'm sorry, man, You're not going to make it to heaven. Bernie, are you perfect? No? Neither.
So we failed one thing you just said, though, you said this is how you're gonna get to heaven.
Yeah.
I don't know if he wants.
To go there, that's true.
I don't know if he believes in that. I don't know.
I think all he's trying to do is not cheat on his girlfriend or like get a girlfriend.
Okay, let's go there, so so so build that. Yeah, okay, we're slowly building.
I can without the one without the other.
Alex, We're slowly building this story for you. And what we're trying to say is you're screwed, dude, because you got you want to live. You want you want to have eternal life in the presence of your creator in heaven. You got to be perfect, and you've already failed it. Okay, So the only alternative to going to heaven is hell. You don't want to go there. This life is short, it's fleeting, it's a vapor, it's gone, So you better
get it while you can. And you might as well just cheat on every girlfriend and get it where you can, because you've already screwed and you groot yourself out of any opportunity after this besides eternal punishment, eternal wrath. That's what the Bible says. Is that good enough to get maybe get him thinking about it? Yeah, so I got something to tell you, though, I do have good news. I'm in the same boat, Alex, and so's Bernie, and so's every other man and woman that have walked on
this planet since Jesus. No one is perfect. We're all bad. So God knows this. So God, in his love for his people, because he knows that he's perfect, he can't. If Heaven is this perfect place, it can't have you, Alex. That would ruin it. You're a cancer. You can't be in heaven. You're a disease that can't be there. Otherwise it's not heaven anymore. It's corrupted. So God knows this. He knows you're corrupted, he knows you have this cancer,
this disease, and he knows I do too. So in his leve he goes all you people, all you sinners that have rejected me, that have turned from my way. I'm going to give you a way to get to me. I'm going to give you a way that you cannot earn to get you in heaven without you being perfect. You need to be perfect to get here. I'm going to give you perfection a gift. It's a gift of grace. It's I'm gifting you. The Bible calls it righteousness. We can call it goodness. I'm going to give you the
goodness that it requires to get here. And I'm gonna do it through my Son, through his righteousness, his perfection, his goodness, not yours. You don't have it. I'ma give it to you through him. If you believe, turn from yourself, turn from your ways. Look to him. He died on the cross for the sins of people just like you, Alex. Look to him, and he forgives, he heals, he redeems.
And then what happens after that, it's crazy. If you believe, if you are a child of God, after that, through repentance, which means turning from yourself and looking to him. If you do that, something changes in you in a way that you start to hate that sin. It doesn't totally go away, at least not at the beginning, but when that girl at the concert shows up and you start talking, something inside you goes, oh, this is disgusting. I hate this. My flesh wants to do it, but I don't like it,
so I gotta I got, I can't do it. Sorry, I'm so sorry. I gotta tell you, girl, I actually have a serious girlfriend, someone I love. So I'm so sorry, but no, I'm not gonna take your number. And then you're gonna go what has happened? Why am I so different? Now? What's going on with me?
And also before you would even get into that situation that you would have to tell that girl that what he also gives us is community, biblical community of you know, accountability. Yeah, well, grazier, what if I told you, like, oh, yeah, man, I'm gonna go to this concert by myself and there's gonna be a bunch of pretty girls there and probably gonna drink and like just dance with them, and you're.
Gonna be you have a history.
Yeah, yeah, you're.
Gonna be like, bro, no me and you are going, you know, to do whatever else that we could do. We're gonna go fishing, we're gonna go camping, and we're gonna do something different because you know that that's a bad idea. And I'd be like, dude, you're right, man, that's a bad idea. Iron sharpening, iron boom. So yeah, I think that hear that message. And I think that there's a hopefully a community that.
You are a part of.
If you're not that you become a part of that can walk alongside you in that journey.
So next I as can come from anonymous, it says I have had a crush on a girl for almost three years now. I haven't told her. I know her for years. Yeah, that's a long time to not tell her. I know her family well, and I've spent time with her a lot. There's a lot that won't fit into this email that would help the story more. I am feeling like it's time to tell her since I'm positive that she likes me because of many different things that
have happened, and we could start dating shortly after. My question is this, should I tell her parents that I like her? For them to tell me to do what's best and since they deserve to know, since it's their daughter, or should I just tell her? Also, there are so many different things that have happened to me that makes me think that she likes me. I still have a fear of her rejecting me, which would cause me so much heartbreak and pain because of how much I truly
love her and everything that I've done for her. How should I go about.
We jump from having a crush on her to like deeply really quick?
Man, how should I go about doing these things? Telling her these things? If she is going to reject me. I try to trust God, but it just the thought of her rejecting me still concerns me. Thank you Granger.
All right, bro, I love you man like I hear the youth in your voice, and I love it. I love your asking the questions. I would have never thought of that question that you asked. But man, I think it's brilliant. Talk to her parents, like I think Vodi Bacham says that. Yeah, Like, talk to her parents and tell them your intention. A lot of people wait until they're gonna ask them to marry them, to ask for
the hand. It's like, well, shoot, I wish you would have asked me whenever you started, because I would have said no, And now I got to tell you no. Now it's gonna be awkward, and no. I think if you go to the parents and you share with them. Look, me and Jenny, we've been really close for these three years. I feel like she likes me. I got these little you know, she's flirting. She did this, and I kind of want to tell her how I feel about her
and maybe date her. What are you guys thinking about that? And that's gonna tell you a lot. Yeah, because they know their daughter and mom may look at you.
And be like, bro, now, don't don't do that.
She she likes Johnny. She's been in love with Johnny forever. And you're gonna save yourself a lot of embarrassment. And you can just tell the parents, okay, keep this between us, and then you just go on being a friend and looking for somebody else.
But they could also affirm and be like, she talks about you all the time.
Yeah, you probably should totally tell her, and you, guys date and we appreciate you. You're gonna, let's say you do go on to marry this love of your life. You're gonna build some trust with those parents and a foundation. It's going to be great.
So yeah, man, if in doubt, just tell him.
Uh there is.
Vodie Bacham actually wrote a book about it, but I think he speaks a lot like on YouTube about it. But but I remember when I first got into that idea. I was telling London this my daughter and from the perspective that Bernie and I both have daughters. From that perspective, it's like it's like a no brainer. Oh yeah, I would love that, like selfishly as a father, Yes, tell me first, don't tell her. So Vodi says he has trained his daughter to say to answer a boy that says,
do you want to go on a date? And the girl says, what did my dad say? I'm taking that for sure, So I started just putting that into London. So that's like, yeah, that's her reaction, what did my dad say? Next question comes from Megan says, Hey, I'm a junior high school student, which is the age at which everyone and their mother seems to be asking the dreaded question, so what are you going to do with
your life? Whereas I am forced to reply each time, I'm not quite sure yet I've gotten so much advice from so many people about my future, but I'm still left feeling uncertain and a little afraid to commit. I have put much prayer and tears into this topic, but I still feel as though I'm a loss at a loss for the answer. How can I clearly hear what the Lord wants me to do? Does there have to be a deadline on this decision? And how do I
know when people ask me about what my future holds? Sorry, that was a long question, but I know you'll do your best to answer and understand my side of things. Sincerely, Megan. Great question for Bernie today.
Well, I'm not sure if anybody listened to episode two twenty two, but a very similar question led to my first breakdown on the podcast and left me in tears. So what s Granger seemed to think about this?
Well, Okay, I'll just I'm gonna let you talk because you've got a lot of stuff to say, Burns, but I'll just jump in quickly and say, let me give you an answer. This is a good answer. This is the good answer to quickly answer the question when someone says, what are you gonna do with your life? Or what does your future. Hold those are the two ways you worded it, And if you're a Christian, I love to say, my future is none of my business. It's good. It's
all in the Lord's hands. Hey, listen, Meg, I hope I can call you Meg. I knew Bernie at a pivotal time in his life, and he knew me in a pivotal time. You younger, younger versions of ourselves, and man, I mean, neither one of us we're doing what we're doing now. Neither one of us planned on what we're doing now, and we couldn't. So knowing what you're going to do with your life and your future is irrelevant
to what you're actually going to do. I know, I recognize that the world wants to tell you that you need to have a plan, and look at your age, the plan should be just make good grades, diversify your hobbies, love the Lord, plant yourself in a really good church, surround yourself with godly girls. Do those things like that's enough of a plan for a junior high kid. Make good grades, diversify your hobbies, plant yourself in a good church,
and surround yourself with godly girls. Do that. That's your future. Everything else you say it's none of my business. M h.
That's good.
She said something about still feeling uncertain, and I think that that may just be a common thing that you feel. Like in life, there's just things. Sometimes we just feel uncertain. But God does call us to be bold and courageous, So there's in that uncertainty sometimes you have to walk through.
When I'm making decisions or.
Trying to figure something out, sometimes I walk through these three different questions.
What does the Word say? Okay? Is there any between my options? Is?
Is there an explicit direction that's given, Like I want to do this? Well, the Bible specifically says like don't. So it's like, okay, well I'm not going to do that.
Okay.
Most of what you're probably dealing with is, you know, what does the Word say about these options? What does the church say?
So if you are.
Amongst you know, a community of people and you get to share with them, Hey, they you know, want to do this or this, I don't know what to do, feel uncertain and just listen to what they say. And then the last thing is what do you want to do? Like, what's what's really like? You feel your heart kind of like drawn to that thing and then work towards being really good at that thing, whatever that path may be. I think what I said on the last one to
a very similar question, though, it's the hardest thing. And I had a conversation with Stella, our ten year old, last week about this when we don't know what to do, and what I was telling her is like, we really need to just remove ourselves from distractions, find do what Jesus did and he often retreated to desolate places alone to pray, So find places to be alone, and you know, she was it was an honest question, like sometimes like I just feel like hearing God's voice is hard, which
makes praying hard. Like I totally understand that I don't know that solitude and retreat and meditation with God, and I don't think that that is like a pill. It's not a place you just go to like get a quick answer. It's just it's a place that you constantly go to. It's a place that I like long to just go to because I'm like kind of I don't get it. A lot of times I'm like, God, you gotta like help me here.
I don't get it.
So I go back to that place. And the more you go back to that place, the clearer that voice gets, the clearer that direction gets. If you go once for a prayer and an answer, it's just it's not going to be the same. So it's this habit of getting to that place of quiet and still in prayer to give you some guidance.
So I hope that's helpful.
I've recognized that I might have said something wrong at the beginning of this email, I might have read it wrong. But as I'm seeing it now, it says I'm a junior in high school. Did I say that wrong? I don't know if I said junior high school. I'm in junior high.
She's in junior high.
No, she's a junior in high school. And I think I read it as she's.
In junior Yeah, you mentioned something, Okay, so I.
Just want to clear that up for you, Megan. But
but the the answer still doesn't change. And yeah, So what Bernie says is so profound, and he always motivates me and encourages me to find that wilderness and what you're gonna hear when you when you get into this wilderness, whatever that is in your life, where you're gonna hear to the to the to The answer of what does the Lord want me to do is always a lot simpler than you think, because you think you're thinking in terms of college or nursing school, or do I take
a year off, or you're thinking all these things. And that's why my my counsel of just get good grades and you can kind of pivot on anything later. If you don't get good, good, good grades. That's so that's not the end of the world either. But what you're gonna find with the Lord, what he wants you to do, is he wants you to glorify Him and enjoy him forever. Like in the most simplest way, everything we do revolves around that. Everything glorify Him and enjoy him forever. That's
what he wants you to do. And within that you'll find all kinds of peace and hope, joy and understanding, and these feelings of uncertainty just kind of go away when you glorify Him and enjoy him forever. And that's that comes in all different forms. It comes in the and all of his things that he wants you to do are all in the Bible, and you'll see him
everywhere ways to glorify him. Telling people the Gospel sharing the Gospel to someone on the street, to a stranger, to your mom, reading your Bible, like coming up with a reading plan, singing and praising on a Sunday morning with all the saints in the pews around you, singing and praising in a quiet time in your own car with your headphones on, by yourself. There's all. There's a thousand weeks. Bernie and I could sit here in a thousand ways and tell you ways to glorify Him. And
that's what He wants you to do. And you can do it through jobs, you could do it. You could do it through hobbies. But I want to tell you don't over spiritualize this question. What does the Lord want me to do? Is it community college? Is it? Stop it? Unless it's like Bernie said, unless it's a sin, you know, it's like morally wrong, then the answers obviously know to that. But I don't think you're asking anything that's morally wrong. You're just trying to You're trying to know, Lord, what
do you want me to do? And I think that's the great place to come from. You were in the perfect heart position to just get on your knees and go God. I want to serve you. I want to love you, I want to praise you, want to tell others about you. I want to be all of this, not for me, but for you. God show me the path, be the light to my feet, so I know the
way to glorify you. If you're in that kind of heart position, you got nothing to worry about, no uncertainty in your life because you never know what phone call happens tomorrow, what email happens tomorrow, what new relationship comes into your life today. You don't know what he has planned. That's why at the very beginning I said, you tell people the future is none of my business.
Yeah, that's so good man.
You as you were talking, you just kind of gave me this image of this person standing in front of this like huge brick wall and Meg, Meg, Yeah, Meg is coming down a ladder off of the roof of this really tall building with this huge brick wall and she gets down to this person and the person says, look at this. They used all these bricks to make this beautiful picture of these these like enemies loving each other or you know like that. Whatever the image is
is like, this is amazing. And Meg, you look up at the wall you're like, Wow, So that's what my life was about. I really was just putting one brick at a time as I was.
Told beautiful mosaic.
And then at the end, I think that's we get so caught up and making our own mural and what we want our legacy and our life to be. But maybe it's just about listening to like what's the next brick and the next one and the next one. And I think at the end of that, the hope is is that God has done something that's like, this is who I am.
I just used this.
Person to lay these bricks, and that'd be pretty awesome. I would I would love at the end of my life Lifer to stand with you and us look back and be like, didn't think he was drawing that picture?
Yeah, I didn't think he was doing that. But wow, man, what grace right.
That's beautiful. Man, what a beautiful way to end the episode two. So we love you guys. We'll see you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. Yi