Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you guys for being here for a very rare time. We have two guests and both of them are my relatives. Do I tell you as a relative?
I mean I technically am your immediate family.
Now that's a relative.
I guess she's pretty relative relative.
Okay, I got my wife and then I got Amber's brother, my brother in law, Colin, and so we're gonna answer your questions. That's what we do on this podcast. You email me podcast at grangersmith dot com and man puts them together, we walk through them, and I plan on doing that, and I also plan on uh straying a little bit from that pattern because we have the opportunity to have Callin, which I think is going to be a fantastic guest here and a really good resource in
answering some of these questions. And probably that's just good because I love you and you're one of my best friends, but also because you've also you have unique life experience that I don't have. Everyone brings to the table something not this table, but everyone, everyone listening brings some kind of unique life experience to the table that I cannot
relate to, and you can't relate to mine. But because it's all relative, we can come at questions as we hear them with a little bit different perspective, and I think that's important. In all three of us will be also be coming from a biblical perspective. So as long as we have that, then the different ways that life has come at us US three I think will be
unique in answering. And Colin is It's such an interesting guest to have because as long as I've done this podcast since twenty seventeen, many of those years you would have been like some of the toughest questions in this podcast, and you would have been one of the ones that if I would have read, if you would have written in here, for instance, two years ago, no five years ago, we'll say, and I would have read it, this would have been one of the questions where people go, oh, man,
that's going to be a long road for that guy. That's going to be tough for that guy to come out of this being Okay.
Yeah, I agree.
When I met you, you were roommates with this girl that I was kind of dating, courting, And the first time I visited you, you were the roommate and I met you, which is sort of intimidating because you're, you know, like six ten and three hundred and fifty pounds. Yeah, no, not really. What are you like six ' five six y four sixty four? You an extra engine.
I appreciate that. I should have taken it.
I should have just rolled. But we got along instantly because you're everyone likes you. You're You're always fun to be around. You're always the life of the party. So we You had a girlfriend at the time, and I started dating Amber, so we were it was like an easy instant double date. We did a lot of things together in those early years, and you being the life of the party was also part of your problem, which
I didn't realize at the time. But the part that was so likable about you was the part that the world abused and you partook. Is that a word you partook in it in the abuse that the world is like, Hey, let's bring this guy in, you know, let's invite this guy.
Yeah.
So, I honestly don't know where to start, besides the fact that your life is completely different now coming out of addiction. Probably you could say multiple types of addiction, and there is multiple casualties in the fallout of that. In the form of different children, different mamas, like so many of these questions, like you know. But the reason it's, like I said, it's so fascinating is because here you
are sitting in a really good place. And that's what makes it different is I could I could read all these questions all day long, and then I got sitting at the end of this table right now a dude that's lived it and now could speak back to it and go, I know, man, I was there, I was there. Here's where I am. Now where do I start amber with this? Well? I was just going to say, you could do a mean so vagrant now.
Quick give call in a quick minute or so, just to do like where were you five years ago?
And then where are you now?
I can't do that.
No, that's the worst question ever for country music stars. So for those of you that don't know Granger, tell us a little b about yourself. I can't do that.
Hey, yeah, So I was trying to have him do like a quick gist of why where was he and where is he now? But I don't know that might even be hard for him to sum up in five years.
Well, I could probably just kind of give the short answer here is There's only one way out of where I was, and that's you know, through God. That's it. That's the only way that I was to get out of there alive. And I just had to basically get on my knees and just give up totally and figure out that the absolute only way for me to come
out of this hell is through Jesus Christ. And once I finally just gave up, surrendered, fully surrendered, because I've tried to do it my way, and I've tried to say, yeah, I'll I'll surrender butt or I'll do these things. But once I fully just let go. And I know it's cliche, but let go and let God. It was it was everything. I felt a change immediately internally. It wasn't necessarily a burning bush, but that was my burning bush. It was. It was just a just a it's unexplainable just how
how different my mindset was, how different. I picked up the phone for the first time and asked for help. It was the only time I've ever picked up a phone and said I need you now, I need you, I need it.
Where were you?
I was in a hotel off of Alta, Mesa, and I thirty five on January first of twenty and twenty two, Yeah, twenty and twenty two, and I had been gone for I think, I think at this point eight days from my wife and my home and my job. I was in the work truck, wasn't answer my phone, wasn't getting a hold of anybody, in a hotel, a place I shouldn't have been, with people I shouldn't have been with, with things I shouldn't have had. And I remember it was like two degrees and I had locked my keys
in my truck. And that had to happen, because if I'd hadn't to locked my keys in my truck, I wouldn't be sitting in this chair right here today. I locked my keys in my truck and I gave up. I got back in the hotel. It was so cold. I'll never forget the day. I got on my knees and I begged God. I said, get me out of this, get me out of this. And I called my wife. I called Shane, and I said, hey, come get me. I need it, I need help. And she came. I mean she didn't hesitate.
Then what happened.
We went to a meeting, an AA meeting, And I'll backtrack a little bit. I was fighting a charge that was a couple of detectives I'd called my wife and my mom and were asking to find me. And I was fighting a charge that I was going to court for in March of the same year of twenty twenty, and I was facing a lot of time in prison, and I was scared. I mean to short, long story short, I was scared. I didn't want to go to prison.
I'd been to prison before. They were trying to give me a lot of time, so I know that I wasn't just going to a state jail. I was actually going to a big boy prison, and so I was scared. But we went to a meeting and we started getting things together for the court date, which was in March. So March thirteenth, I got sentenced to five years and I'll never forget man Shanea's face that day. She was crushed because we honestly thought that there was a chance for probation.
But the Joe or the charges for everybody to know.
So forger Eva financial instrument was one of the charges. Credit check hot checks basically yes, And this was not my first time with these checks. I had been caught in twenty eighteen for the same charge with a credit card abuse charge of using well I had a credit card in my wallet, it wasn't mine. So when I got arrested for the check that was that I tried to cash, they found the credit card I got. That
was the first time I went to prison. Between those times, I had a possession under a Graham charge of controlled substance I was. I was addicted to meth methamphetamines and have been or had been for years prior to that. In and out of rehabs. Seven impatient rehabs. I think it is total. I think I've completed five of them. In and out of jail. For petty crimes, theft, burglar of a habitat. I got arrested in Minnesota for burglar of a habitat. I went up there. I was out
of my mind. I don't even remember much of it, but I had taken a passport. I stole a truck up there. Thought I was going to go to Canada during COVID. I mean, honestly, what are you really thinking, like, trying to get across the border COVID with a fake passport just out of my mind.
I don't think I knew that you did.
It's just it was a big mess.
Yeah.
What I was I was thinking about when you were saying that was for so many years, we tried to save you, We tried to get you into red, we tried to do all this stuff, and finally you had to realize you had to be the one to call, make the call and say I need help.
Yeah, because the times that I did go to rehab, I will I went to appease the masses basically, and you're so likable.
Everybody loves you and they're like always great.
It was a manipulation thing, and I was very good at manipulation. That's probably why I work in sales today, not saying that I'm a manipulator anymore, because there's a fine line between good salesman. Yeah, and see that's one of my character defects. I have to know the line of people pleasing and people pleasing, Like there's a manipulation aspect that can go either way with that. And but I've I learned so much in the n A program, and it's it is for a lot of a lot
of addicts, celebrate recoveries for a lot of addicts. There's different programs out there for a lot of addicts. But the thing that the only thing that worked for me, because those those programs worked for a time, but the only thing that worked for me was getting out of the way of God. Was getting out of the way his will and realizing that a square peg doesn't fit in a circle hole. So I got to quit trying to do it my way. It doesn't work. It never
did work. How did you know that there was a way. I didn't at the time. I just knew that there wasn't any other way. And I had never tried and I had never tried that way. So it was it was a I've tried everything else, you know, why not type of thing. That was the mindset. But it was the the begging of just get this, just relieve me of this, and and and there's so much that's wrapped into that of those questions that I begged God for.
It was so much of relieve my cis you're in my family of the mess that I'm putting them in. Relieve my wife of the mess I'm putting her, And relieve my kids of the abandonment that I that I created. My children's mother didn't take my kids from me. I I I don't want to say gave them away, But I didn't do what I was supposed to do as a father at the time that I was supposed to
do it. And I realize that now, and back then I had sour taste in my mouth towards my children's mother and their stepfather because I was still a mess in my own head and a mess in my own way. And now I can't thank them enough for how they've raised those boys. And you know, I do get to have my two younger boys in my life right now. And God's working in my other two boys' lives. He is, He's working in their lives, He's working in our lives,
and there's going to be some reuniting. It's I've got no doubt in my mind, and it's it's it's such a it's such a blessing to realize that God is working and to see it behind the scenes without seeing it. If that makes sense, is it makes me speaks man.
I preached on psalmone thirty last Sunday, and I was studying a little bit of Jonah in that message, because the Psalmist is crying from out of the depths, and we've all had these Jonah. Moments in our lives, all of us have something and for you, you know, Jonah, he runs from God. God has a will for his life. He has a purpose for Jonah, and that's to go to Nineveh and preach. And he runs from that because
it's ninev is scary. And he gets on a boat and flees, and God causes this huge storm to hit the boat, and everyone on the boat is freaking out. They're like, this is awful. This is like the worst storm I've ever seen. And Jonah's like, guys, it's it's me, Like I'm the reason for the storm. God's chasing me down. He's mad at me, and and yeah, yeah, it's like kind of what your story sounds like. Yeah, And so basically,
Jonah's like, just throw me off the boat. I mean, we're all either we're all gonna die, this whole boat's going to go down, or you guys, just throw me off. And so they throw him off, and that's when the fish takes them, you know, God takes them through the fish. And then as I'm studying Forsalone thirty, it's interesting I noticed that Jonah doesn't in the text. Jonah doesn't speak to God at all until he's in the belly, and it's then it's from out of the depths. From then
I'm in the deep. God, Please, where are you saved me? And it's funny that he says that because God's he knows, God's been with him the whole time, just wreaking havoc on his life until he finally and everyone else on the boat takes all the punishment for it.
See, And I think I can relate to that because the twister that I created around my life, that had a thirty mile radius to everywhere I went, was just God trying to say, man, stop, yeah, sit down, and it was hurting everybody around me because I wasn't seeing it. I wouldn't being like Jonah just saying, hey, throw me off the boat.
You know, well, we don't know how long he I mean, this might have been days. We don't really know through the text how long he fought it, right until finally they were they were like, what's going on? It's me, guy, it's me. We don't know how long. So you could easily have been just like Jonah. The problem is we need to also read the backap of Jonah because then he gets in his will like you are now and hopefully I am. And then he gets to Nineveh, you know,
these heathens, and he preaches. He doesn't want to go in there. He's so scared of the city, so scared of all these heathens. And he goes in there is like repent, you know, turn back to God, and all these heathens look at him and they're like, hey, you're right, we should And then he gets mad. He's like, God should punish these people, these heathens, And God goes, I told you to preach to him, and they turned to me. Who are you now? Who are you to say I
should do what I need to do? Then Jonah's like being Jonah again. Anyway, you have a wild story and it's it's so interesting to hear that. And you and I have talked about your prison experience. We sat around the campfire last night, which is what this I always say, this podcast is about sitting around campfire talking. But you you've told me many, so many stories about your prison experience. And if you could paint that picture. Don't do it.
You don't need to. We don't have enough time. But if you paint that picture perfectly for anyone listening, it should be enough for anyone to go Nope, don't do that.
Well, the first five minutes of it should be you.
Know, god, really it was h Yeah, can you find a point in your life? I know you've thought about this endlessly? Have you? Have you seen the point where you started to go off the rails? You said you fought it for a long time. Where did the fighting start?
I think the actual off the rails aspect of it was probably avery point.
I think that was we were living together too too.
Yeah, I think that was the off the rails. I was selling drugs at the time.
I was.
Incapacitated, to say the least, every single day that we that we lived there. And I think the seventeen and fifteen I began using I think thirteen or fourteen, I started drinking at a buddy's house. And I don't want to say any names, you know what I mean. And but really off the rail, Yeah, seventeen to twenty four was a blur.
Is that just the crowd that you got involved with?
It was that it was the lifestyle. It was the amount of money I was making. I mean, it was all the things. It was everything kind of the perfect storm. The people pleasing aspect I loved to be the party and even growing up when Mom and Dan went out
of town, our house was a party house. That's where I threw parties, and it was you know, I ruined a lot of their I feel terrible, don't sorry, Mom, I feel terrible, But I ruined a lot of their vacations because there'd be a police officer calling them, mister and missus Campbell, your son is having a party and we found a block of marijuana in your backyard. And you know, they were in the Bahamas one time, had
to come home. But yeah, I think off the rails, off the rails, and when I knew I had something needed to change, but I just I couldn't get out of my own way was probably yeah, probably every point time.
And then it was about ten fifteen years in and out.
Oh yeah, rehabs, in jails, just just not you know, telling everybody, well, I can do this on my own. You know, I don't. I don't. I'm good, I don't need anybody, blah blah blah. Yeah, just fooling myself, really trying to paint this picture or have this facade of everything's great, everything's fine, and I'm I was good at it. I was good at playing that game and making everybody
think that things were okay. Maybe I wasn't that good at it because you guys always knew, you know, you got I think sometimes y'all might not have known, Like whenever I had gone to rehab and came out, and you know, I'd stay clean for a little bit, but I'd just tell y'all was staying clean for a lot longer. But I had already started using.
You know, I think we kind of knew. Yeah, I think so it would be hard to not know. You would be the same way if it was us. So in twenty twenty two, you had the moment locked the keys in the truck and then SHANEA picks you up. Yeah, well we know if you fast forward you end up going to prison, correct for the charges. Correct, But you were already kind of rebuilding.
Yeah, I had lunch with you right before you went.
I had lunch, Yes, So so I had. I had stayed clean in twenty twenty one, and prior to that for thirteen months, and I relapsed. I drank a beer and I relapsed, and my Sobriet beer one beer, but that at that time that one beer canceled that date. That date was no longer good, that date was gone. And a couple weeks later I thought about that beer that I had and I was like, well, I can have a couple of beers.
Oh yeah.
And then a couple of weeks later, well I can have a bucket. And that night we were playing we were playing darts. I won't forget that night either, where Shane and I went out. We were playing darts and had a bunch of beers and had a rumplement shot. And that she knows that that I tell her that I don't think that that's what put me over there is that's what put me over the edge. I created an argument, I created a fight and left her at
home and went to the dope house. And that was I think that was in December when I was gone, But I came back. I started rebuilding from from January to March, know whing this case was coming up, and in the back of my head, I was telling myself, I'm getting time. I'm getting time. There's nothing there this this lady, miss Beach. She already told me if she ever sees me in her courtroom again, she's gonna throw the book at me. So I already. I already knew
that there was I was getting time. The attorneys that we were working with were kind of finicky, but I knew. I was just hoping that I didn't get time, but I knew I was getting time. But while I was in there, my wife Shana found her faith and found God and found and grew in her walk. And for me, that means everything. And for me, I do it. Like I told you guys last night at the camp, if I had to go to prison a million times over for her to find her walk, I'll do it hands down.
Wouldn't even hesitate, tell me, sign me up right now. And while I was in there, they had an app called Pandos, so I was watching. I was getting to watch sermons because they gave us tablets in there, but I got I got to watch. This was after bido, and we'll go into bito another time.
But let me pause you to to say that for people listening for context, things are really bad for you because because of debt that had piled up, because of
child support, because of felony charges. If anyone's listening that has a similar situation or family member, and almost everyone does, absolutely you could you could reach a point where I mean even I was like, I don't I don't know what to say because because say say you're say the Lord saves you, and the Lord regenerate your life, and you're still de de with consequences of extreme debt, extreme
child support, felony charges, can't find a job. But but that wasn't God's plan either, because the God even started redeeming that. He doesn't have to, but he started redeeming that. So anyway, I just want to say, I wanted to pause that to say you're in a bad spot, not just with addiction and relationships, but also like with the state,
with life everything. Yes, yeah, the state. And I'll say too because I, your mom and I have talked endlessly about this the state as far as correctional you know, the institution that we have set up nationwide, it's just not set up for people to actually rehab and get better and restart a life. No, it just kind of holds you out of outside of society and just forces you just you're on the out, you're on the outskirts, and you'll never recover the way the state has it,
it's not made to rehabilitate people. It's made just to get you off the streets in away from everybody, and then all the taxpayers pay for the prison systems. It's crazy.
They keep the prison system full for a reason. Oh my goodness.
A lot of people thinking about twenty twenty five and New Year's resolutions, and a lot of those are business related. In fact, a lot of people listening right now are thinking, this is the year I'm finally going to start that small business something I've been wanting to do it forever, and now is the time. It's going to be some kind of e commerce business. And I need a website, and I've got the perfect product and I'm gonna put
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Well, let me help you.
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So you are you? You end up getting incarcerated? How many years?
They give me? A five year?
So gave you five year cents?
And which for my charge in the in the county I was in. Is is a pretty steep penalty. But since my priors, since I had priors, that's why. That's why I got sentence.
I got Where did you? At what point does the you know? Shaney said, Shana is all of a sudden, she's walking in her faith. When did the Lord find you? Was it slow or was it one moment? Or was it a guy that talked to you? Or was it just the seed had been planted and slowly grew.
Seed was planted in twenty fifteen when I was in Arran County with a gentleman named Byron Starks, and that seed was planned. He introduced me to the Bible. I've known about the Bible. I'd been to church as a kid. I grew up Episcopellian, which was a boring church that the Organs and everything. I'm just saying, I apologize to the Piscopellions, but when I was a kid, I was
kicking pews, just just a fly. But so he planted the seed in twenty fifteen and Terran County Jail, and it just I won't forget that because the seed was planted. So I always had questions. So I considered myself agnostic just because I always had questions. I never thought I was an atheist or anything, because I knew there was something bigger than me. I just didn't want I didn't know what to call it.
So I'm convinced there's no true atheist. Okay, you could get you could at some point. You could break down that argument pretty easy.
Absolutely. Yeah, we can go on a tandem about that. But so long story short. The minute that it all turned and my story really began, it was January second, twenty twenty two, when I actually got on my knees and and was was done because I had I had thought I had surrendered, before, thought i'd given up and was asking God for help, but I was there was always this this ultimatum like I'll do this if you do this like God helped me, or I'll be good
if you just give me this right now. And you know, religious, it's exactly what it was, and that's how that's how I was doing it. And but January second, twenty twenty two, I felt the difference. I could see the difference. Since that day, I've asked him every day, get let me get let me out of the way, show me how to be a service, and show me your will, show me your will. That's it, and I try to get
out of the way. And when I noticed those things aren't happening the way that I think they should happen, then that's I'm not doing things in his will. I'm just trying to, like I said earlier, plug a square peg in a circle hole. And whenever that starts happening, whenever I start getting pushbacks on things, then I know that I okay, I need to step back and realize and get out of the way.
Yeah, it so someone thirty that sermon I prepped. In verse three, it says, if you, oh, Lord, should count iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? Yeah, I mean that's not a Santa Claus religion. That is, if God counts your sins against you, no one's gonna make it. No one is good enough.
Nobody.
The next verse, verse four says, but with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared so and that it points straight to the gospel of what Jesus did on the Cross. But you told me something interesting last
night around the campfire. You said that you you and Shana were sharing what you read every day every day while you're in prison in the One of the worst imis you could possibly imagine these horrible wards in the state of Texas, and you're in there reading the Bible and then sharing what you read with Shane, and she's sharing what she read daily.
Yeah, it was amazing. So when you're in prison, you can be in prison in prison, if that makes sense, like you can definitely you can be in prison out here. And I wasn't going to allow myself to I wanted to be at peace, and I was at peace on March thirteenth, twenty twenty two, when I got sentenced. I was at peace. Nobody else in the behind me was
at peace. My family wasn't at peace, but I was at peace because I knew that maybe this is God telling me to sit down for a little bit, and this is going to give me the time to be able to connect with God and connect with everything that there is that I need to know, not only about the gospel, but about myself. And by her and I having that relationship talking a couple times a day, I
mean sometime when you're on lockdown, there's no talking. The first five weeks I was locked up, there was no communication at all.
Well, sometimes I was emailing you too, and we would talk and then all of a sudden, you just you wouldn't answer it, like I guess he's I guess they're in lockdown again.
Yeah, it's it's so you have to just any chance you get, it's just cherish it and if you can, you know, you just know that you're not always going to get to talk to the person that you want to talk to with the person that you love. But so we grew together the most that we've ever grown. And we were so far apart. We were not physically together, but we grew so close together during that time just because of our walk and how I was way over here and she was way over here because she had
a tough upbringing, too. Her family. Her family upbringing was tough man and so just having that all connect into one and just and just oh it was, it was. It was amazing. Like it brings me to tears today just just thinking about the love that she found towards God. Knowing the love that there is reciprocated from God, and that's the connection that we had walking that faith. I
would hear music. I can't tell you how many times Carry Joe and Cody Carns the Blessing played on my tablet and I just was sitting under there with the sheets over my head, just bawling my eyes out, with my earbuds in my head, and Gyra from Maverick City Music. Those two songs mean so much to me because of how they played a role in my walk while I was in prison, I wasn't in prison.
In prison, I've heard John Pepper say that when he goes and speaks to people in prison, to men and women in prison, that we can be more in prison out here, be as slaves to all kinds of stuff. But when you're in there, you have all the time to spend with God and to read His word, and you can be so free in there, even though you're locked up. But praise God for bringing you and shanea together on the same path at the same time, because that doesn't happen a lot.
No, it happened with Amber and I actually yeah, And people ask me that all the time. We're like, when all this is happening with you, what about Amber? And I'm like, man, by God's grace, for some reason, in the Lord's kindness, he was bringing her along at the same time. Because she could have easily, like when we went through the whole thing with River and then all of a sudden, the Lord saves me. She could have been like, you're out of your mind. You know, you're
just coping. You know, you're trying to find something that make you feel better, and that's great for you, but I don't need that. But that's not what happened. It's interesting too that you get back and out of the Lord's kindness. You called me and you're like, man, I'm in a great church where it's just right down the road. Shane and I got plugged in and in my mind, you know, I talk about churches all the time on
this podcast. I'm like, oh, no, dude, just finds the trail like he's on fire for the Lord, which is great. He gets out of prison and the first thing he does is go right down the road jump into the local church there. Whatever church it is, I don't know, and it all of a sudden he loves it, and I'm just like, oh, this can be bad. I look it up and I friended the senior pastor on Instagram, who I now know is Landing great brother, and I friended him and DM him and then I was like
reading this whole bio, like where's this guy from? Because this is important to me. Man, Like the next step you come out of prison, you're with shaying that you guys are building something. If you don't, if you don't lock into a good local church that's going to walk along with you, that's going to live life with you.
That's gonna be your brothers and sisters. That's three hours from Amber and I. So they're your brothers and sisters that are gonna they're gonna like my hat ninety nine for one, that are gonna seek out the one lost sheep out of the hundred and say, worre's calling, anybody seen call it. It's an elder led church, So where's calling anybody seen him. He hadn't been here in three weeks. Someone goes, I know where I'll go get him.
Yeah, but they're beating on the door, north point.
That's what a church is supposed to do. If you would have entered a church that you would have got lost in are the super charismatic? And then and it's it's it's it's not full of pastors that actually tend the sheep. Then that would have been bad. So I find Land and then all of a sudden, Land and I became friends. Now he's my bro and am landon how in the world are we like minded in ministry? And my brother in law ends up in your church? Only the Lord would have taken would have got you?
Because I don't think you knew right, I mean, did you You.
Were supposed to go to that church?
That m no.
So so we're not. When we've been talking about trying to find a local church. We lived in Joshua at the time. Whenever I got out, we wanted to go find a local church. So we went to a couple of churches the first couple of weekends I got out, and we were like, yeah, they're okay, but we're gonna keep shopping and we were supposed to go to and it was like eight thirty five I think am on a Sunday, and we were driving out to the church that we had planned on going to the not before.
Nobody's in the parking lot. So we're like, okay, well then let's just keep driving.
So we drove.
That's pretty good, drove drove another half a mile maybe a mile, and saw there was a bunch of cars in this church up there on the top of the hill. So we pulled in. Joel Harrold was the first guy
that welcomed me. He's an elder, he's a deacon at our church, and he just was so welcoming and I just I felt the love immediately, and so we we got to know each other, filled out the connect card, did all the things, went into the church, sat down and just started worshiping, started praising, and then Landing got up there and was just spitting fire and just tears rolling down my eyes and I'm balling my eyes out. She's balling her eyes out, and we looked at each other him here like we're home.
This is Granger was so happy when he came and he did his research with Landor. He was like, babe, he's in a really good church. No church is perfect, there's you know, there's it's full of centers. But to have a healthy body of believers around you, brothers and sisters, who who who Your pastor preaches the Word of God, preaches Christ, Crucifide and you know, redeeming grace and just family.
Yes, he goes Landing. Their senior pastor goes to by the way that everyone listening. This is North Point Church in Burlesson area. So he's at a pastor's conference a few months ago in Georgetown and he hits me up and he's like, hey, on my way back, you want to grab lunch. I was like yeah, So we go go grab lunch, and you know, part of the conversation was calling and I mean, he just genuinely loves you, cares about you. In fact, there was a there was
a there was kind of a guy. There was this thing going on with you at the time that would look back, he was it was harmless, but at the time he was like, yeah, he's he's been talking to this guy. What do you think about it? And I was like, oh, that's that's interesting because he's a true
pastor by the definition of the word pastor. And I said this on the podcast a few weeks ago, that that word comes from the word shepherd, which literally means in context of a shepherd with the sheep, caring for, watching them, teaching them, feeding them, loving them, protecting them. And he is in every sense of that word. That's what he is for you and for the rest of his sheep. And if a church gets too big, then he has, you know, then they must get more shepherds
for the amount of the size of the flock. And I'm just sitting there at lunch and I was like, this is so cool, man, because because then for the first time in fifteen years, I could say I don't need to be spiritually every step of the way with Colin. Now it could just be his brother in law knowing he has a shepherd that's going to take care of his spiritual walk. And now we could just be brothers and share and I don't have to think about where's Colin. I need to go get him, because like you said,
they will be knocking down Absolutely. Man, I'm talking too much. Let's at least ask a question or get to a question on here podcast at grangersmith dot com if you want to email me, and this is the prep that and gave me. I scanned three down and I saw the word substance and I was like, oh cool, I read that one. That's why you're here. It says from anonymous. I want to ask some marriage advice on how to handle the situation. My husband and I both quit using
any type of substance when we got saved. Over the past few months, my husband has started dipping slash smoking again, and now he's lying about it, and every time I catch him, he tells me I won't do it again, but then he continues. I can't trust him and I can't believe what he says after he lies to me all the time. I pray him for him every day. What should I do? Oh? One more sentence? I want him to lead our family, but I feel like I'm always the one leading since he always gives me gives
in to his temptations. I wish that last sentence wasn't in there. Maybe I read it the wrong way. First thoughts on this coin, What do you think's going on with this dude? They quit, they got married. It sounds like there was kind of a deal like, hey, when we get married, we're gonna get clean.
After they got saved.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what I've witnessed being on I guess both sides of it now, yeah, is you cannot change somebody else. Unfortunately, only God can do that, and he's got to seek that if he really wants that change. Just continue to pray, just continue to be there for him so that he feels safe to be honest. Maybe there's a situation. I don't know yours, but maybe he doesn't feel safe being honest. Maybe, speaking from my personal experience, if I was ever honest, I felt like I was always just going to get
in trouble. So I would always try to hide it and and lie about it so that I didn't think I was going to get in trouble. I think even though after they found out, I was in even more trouble and they were like, dude, if you were just honest with me, we wouldn't be in this situation. So I think just telling him it's okay to be honest, telling him it's it's okay to have those desires, but we can pray together and ask God to remove those desires. That's what my wife and I do we ask God
to remove the desires that we have. And I haven't had anything in what was it one thousand and ninety five days or something three years? Three years in January, and I've lost the desire just because God has taken that desire. So I think if I can give you any advice on this is just pray with Him and if you guys are saved, then I know. It's uncomfortable. At first, it was very uncomfortable for my wife and I because it was new. We'd never done it, and so we felt kind of nerdy or kind of weird
doing it. But once you get into it and actually start doing it together, it becomes natural and you you want to pray with each other. And so when you have that, that that deep love for Christ and you can you can do that, then you can and pray together and pray for that desire to go away. Dipping in cigarettes is a very hard thing. I've done both I did. I dipped for many many, many, many many years, and it was very hard for me to have that desire taken away. But man, with all things, nothing is
impossible for God. Man.
Yeah, I think you're right on I think there I usually feel in some of these questions that there is a nagging problem that's coming from her. And and so I think it seems like he's trying to deceive you and lie to you. And I think the fact is he's just like, man, I don't want to deal with what she's going to say, and I'm having trouble because maybe he's been dipping the whole time, correct And maybe she thought he quit.
Maybe he's just really having trouble quitting.
Yeah, And obviously the dipping and smoking thing is what should think she's worried about, is what it would what
it's leading back to the old lifestyle. You do so good, babe, at affirming me and pouring into the things that I do well, and then that makes me want to be better in the things that I'm not doing well, Like you'll you you always tell the kids, like, Daddy works so hard for us, And even the times when I feel like I'm neglecting my family or working too much, you will say, Daddy's working so hard for us, aren't we are? Aren't we so happy that Daddy's working hard?
And then I'm like, yeah, and I need to spend I need to pour into them that it does like reverse psychology to me, and I don't think that's happening. From this anonymous email. You're saying, I want him to lead our family, but I feel like I'm always the one leading. What if you told him? What if he said, you lead us so well? And we've been through so much together, And I just want to say that I
appreciate what you do for this family. I think there's something in there that makes him go, I need to be better in this well.
I think that too, And I think the whole accountability thing. If you hold your partner accountable, you hold each other accountable, and so you if you have that openness, you don't have to line, you don't have to deceive if they call you on your stuff. So you know what, You're right, I am doing whatever, whatever the situation is. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. Let's let's let's let's do some things to make this betters.
Can I take to help you in this?
How can I help?
That's huge? That is huge. You're lying, Shana Is has been said that one instrumental, not detrimental, maybe not not detrimental, instrumental in everything that our family is now because of the accountability and if I'm slacking it work, she's like, hey, man, get on the computer, get to work. Like what are you doing? Get off your phone? Get to work. Yes, ma'am, I'm going. And if she's being fussy, I use air quotes. I hold her accountable. I'm like, hey, what's really going on?
Because I know you're not mad at me for anything, So what's really going on? And then we get to the bottom of it. Okay, Well, a customer had made her matter earlier in the day or something's let's talk that out. So maybe there's some communication that needs to be going on with both of them to say, let's figure this thing out together and let's let's get rid of the bs.
Yeah, it's also anonymous. It'd be helpful if you goin to him and said, look, I've got my problems too. Absolutely, I see you're dipping and smoking. Maybe you don't have to lie about that. I've got enough things going on with me. How could I How could I help you with this? And then I need you to help me as well, and you don't ever have to hide things from me. We're together, We're a team, right, What do you say on this?
I think y'all are both spot on and maybe if he's dipping in smoke and he's stressed about something like, how can we work through what is stressing you out right now? And she says she wants him to lead, And I have a couple of friends who want their husbands to lead. And what I've had to well, what we've all learned is that you can't nag someone into leading. You can't bark at them and nag them into leading.
You just have to pray to the Lord for him to change, like you said, change his desires, change his heart, and you just live your life according to the Bible, love him, you serve him, you pray for him, and then you pray that he sees how you live and his conduct has changed in that, and then just support him however you can, and like you said, pray together, walk through and he stresses together.
But I think y'all both nailed it.
Well. There are so many questions I'm looking at here and not enough time because this conversation has gone well, dude, will you come back sometime, absolutely and be on this podcast. Absolutely, continue to just pull back layers.
Hits me in man, I'm like an onion.
People could ask questions if they have any more questions about your walk or your life.
For sure, Yeah, yeah, please reach out. Man. It's uh sin lives in the dark, and and when you're in a dark place, you can get caught up in that vicious cycle so easily because the shame, the guilt, the remorse, all of that stuff adds up, and it's just you carry that monkey on your back. But guess what, you don't have to carry that monkey. I carried that monkey for years. I carried that guilt and shame short a little bit. I was molested when I was six or seven,
I don't remember the age. But I carried that monkey on my back for years. I carried the monkey of upsetting just everybody that I came in contact with. For years. I carried that guilt and shame of selling my body. I carried that for years, and don't I don't carry that anymore. I've given that burden to God. I've given everything to him. And to make it kind of easy sounding, like why not give your worries, why not give your burdens? Why not give that monkey off your back to him?
Let somebody else have it. He'll take it gladly.
Well, because the anemy wants you there, actually want you stuck in that place of shame and gil so you can step deeper and deeper into sin. So when we come to Christ and we repent and believe in Him, we are forgiven. There is no more condemnation for those that are in Christ.
So people are listening to and I know there's guys listening going, yeah, but he's got Shana. I don't have Shana. I don't have a Shana. So don't answer that. We'll get to that next. But I think there's a way we can answer that as well, because people are going, well, must be nice, man. You got a good brother in law, sister in law, good mama, good stepdad, good good wife.
I had that for twenty years. I had all that good stuff for twenty years, and I still did everything.
So yeah, yeah, all right, well dude, we'll have you back. I guess we'll have you back to you.
Okay, I'll come back.
Love you guys, Bye, see.
You next month. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
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