Girls with daddy issues

you get into them. I'm also going to talk about morning routines, which you've heard me say before. I think morning routines are so important, more important than we could possibly imagine, because it starts the day. It says the

tone for the entire day. And I'm going to talk a little bit about mine, Bernie's going to talk about his, and both of us have been researching a lot of people with different morning routines and it's so interesting to me and I don't still don't think I figured it out yet, but I wanted to share it with you guys on this podcast because I think it's interesting and I think it's important. I mean, if we all had great morning routines, and set off to start a day.

The day the right way, I think the world would be a better place. That's a crazy thing to say, but sometimes it's the little things that compound over time and it's important. I want to give some shoutouts as well, like I always do, and these shoutouts come from emailing Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. You could also ask me a question. Me and Bernie you're going to answer some of yours today Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.

So I want to give a shout out to Stephen Jones from Iowa, Vince Walker, Grayson Weber, Isaac rock from North Carolina, Nolan Viensta's Gloria Strong from Covington, Washington, Mark Wicki and Rodney Holme, Joe Vanderhorn from be to Texas. Shout out to Texas, Kenneth Pattiston from Arkansas, Tyson Lindbergh from Washington State. Justin Chambers, what's up, buddy? Who's this? Four didn't say in the subject line. Jen R from Maryland,

Thank you. Jen Austin from Scotland and Bowden. I appreciate all you guys for writing in and getting the shout out. If you want one, yourself Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Even more importantly, ask a question. Anything under the sun, could be music related, could be life related, could be anything. I want to talk about it. This is episode sixty eight. Buckle up, here we go, ye yee did kids and deel tires and long line of five full of popping

down on the back rangey colge. Yeah you thatation alright? I have my side. Kicked Bernie back for second week in a row, second week different had I had to h had to gear up this time. Yeah you had on. Bernie is a longtime friend, known him for twenty one years, and it was on the last podcast when we kind of went over how we met and what good advice you give me and what I think a benefit you'll be to other people that listen as we go through

some of these questions. I have a question for you because you've crushed the twenty twenty era in your life and you've just done really well mentally. I'll put it that way. When I am trying to improve myself, because I always want to be the best version of myself, and admittedly I'm not always. At any point in time, you can go, man, I'm doing really good right now, or I'm not and I'm not talking about financially or

career or I'm just talking about as yourself. How well are you doing compared to what you want to be or capable of being. So my question I usually start with is what's your morning routine? Because the morning sets the tone for your day, And anytime I get in a funk in my life, it starts for me in the morning, starting with the alarm, And what do I do in that first hour to set the tone for my day, which really sets the tone for the week, and then the month, and then before you know it,

you're in a good rhythm. So Bernie to you, what would you say your morning routine is now? And how was it during the twenty twenty craze? Sure, so morning routine has been something that has evolved a lot. Yeah, I'm sure that it will evolve just as it probably has for you. But for me, I'll just take you through. I'll wake up at five point thirty, I don't snooze, I get out of bed first time alarm goes off.

My wife's still sleeping. I go put my workout clothes on, I make a cup of coffee, and I go into a time a quiet place, and I have a time of meditation for about ten to fifteen minutes. Do you use an app for that or you do it? I use headspace a lot. I've gone off of headspace sometimes, but headspaces were really the one that kind of got me into the routine of it. I've actually advertised them on this podcast. Yeah awesome. So I do that and

then I move. I typically like to do that because I think that there's a lot of you and I have talked about dreams in the past and like our subconscious mind and the supercomputer, and I think that if you get into these times of just really like focusing your mind on your breath and just kind of listening early in the morning, that you can kind of start to like there's things that were happening when you were asleep in your mind that kind of like start to

pop up, and like maybe things you were thinking about yesterday and you couldn't figure out what to do or whatever, and all of a sudden, it just kind of like lifts up. So I like to do that like very first thing. And I usually don't even drink any coffee before I do that. It's almost like first just kind of get to that place. So let me let me just like pause you intermittently. So you use your phone for headspace, but do you obviously have your phone on

airplane mode or something what just silence? Yep, because you don't want to open your phone and see a message from Twitter or your friend or so how do you get to headspace on your phone without that? Well, first, my phone's always silent. I never have my phone on. I don't have social media on my phone. I don't push my email notifications, so unless someone has text me in the night and I see like an icon. But I mean, after after a while of just having the

habit of like, no, this is just where I go. Yeah, I'm not really tempted because I also know that that's gonna get me out of this place. It's gonna it's gonna skip me ahead into my day. And now I'm not ready for that yet. I'm just waking up and

I'm committed to the routine. So I'm gonna like stay there and this and again this is like I'm I'm not one of these like you know, very kind of overly disciplined, militant kind of guys Like I'm I'm just a guy that has over time learned, Hey, these things make me feel better to start to day, so as I can kind of like use the habits to stick with, I just think things have gotten better. So after that's over, I immediately go into a time of just prayer and

stillness and I get into a devotion. So I'll read a devotional from somebody. I'll my brother who is amazing, has just taught me about Bible arcing, and so like really starting to dig into the texts, into the dig into the scriptures of like what was the situation, what was the purpose, what what was coming out? What was

the context of all of this stuff? Just having you know, I have three young kids, career everything, so like doing these things early in the morning, like I waking up earlyer have the time to uh to really spend with it. So Bible arcing, what is that? So and again I'm very new at it. Yeah, you know, Jason talked to me for like three hours on the way back from East Texas not too long ago, and I think I

grasped like the basics. But you're basically breaking down like a couple of different verses or a couple verses together of like Okay, who who is it speaking to? What, what are they saying? What is the response to what this part of the versus saying? And you're once you start to do that, it's really just spending time. We understand things deeper when we spend time with them. Like if I spend time with you and I ask you, oh, well,

why did you do that thing? And you tell me about some situation that really developed that, It's like, oh, I know you deeper now. So it's really just a matter of trying to understand the scripture deeper, not like the coffee mug scripture, but like what was the context, what does this really mean? And trying to put those together. So I try to spend the next half hour or so, you know, doing that. So about forty minutes has gone by now. YEP. I write in my journal every morning,

and it has been over the years. I've probably done journaling since I was I mean since we met, since I was twenty physical coffee. Yep. I have journals that I write in, and so I'll also have time, you know, towards the end of the year, different times in the year where I'll go back and read some of those things or read journals from like, you know, two thousand and six, and I'm just like, oh my gosh, I

was such an idiot. What am I thinking? But I think journaling and just having a place that's quiet and stilled to kind of get out thoughts and all those things. So move into journaling and then and then I'll go into a workout and that really depending on the day, I'll practice yoga, I'll do some silly runs, you know, like some trail runs, or go run hills with my buddy Andy at swift at X follow him. But depending on the day, I'll get in the workout. I'll get

that done. I feel like you have a morning shake that you do everyone. Okay, So my wife just got me into these, you know, like kale and cocoa and almond milk and you know, so I'll make one of those, or she'll make it. We'll make them for each other, which is really great after the workout. That's after the workout. Ye I'm I'm trying to be specific because I'm thinking, if I was listening to this podcast, I want to know, Yeah, you know the timeline, So we're we're at about six

fifteen to six thirty. You're then working out yep, okay, yep, six fifteen, six thirty. I hit that I typically work out started around six fifteen and go to about six forty five or seven, depending on kind of what it is. So one thing that my wife and I started doing is cold showers, so in between moving on uh to uh, you know, to the next thing after, but before the shape,

the cold showers. And she's the one that started doing it and told me about it, and I listened to this thing about it, and I was like, I'm gonna give it a shot. And it's not so bad, like you were the tiler will say, it's not so bad in the summertime where you're sweating it's like crazy hot outside. But you get into like these winter months and you just reach over and turn that thing the cold and it really hurts. But there's a lot of health benefits,

you know, both ways. And I've really just felt it's helped me mentally, just the discipline of like we've talked about before, you know, like seeking pain in your comfort, to find comfort in your pain. So you texted me that one random day. I did, yeah, and you said, and this is classic Bernie Slash Granger conversations but you know, we could go for a month without saying anything, and you randomly texted me and said, man, I gotta tell

you what happened. You know these words that came to me when I was taking a cold shower, and it was yeah, And it's one of those things where it just you know, it's that supercomputer, it's that subconsciousness, whatever it is that just I was in there and I was like, this is the stupidest thing you've ever done. Why are you doing this? And then just that line

kind of popped in my head. You seek pain in your comfort, to find comfort in your pain, and which basically means I could have eased in my my comfort would have been a warm shower. I could have easily done that, but instead I opted to No, I'm going to do a cold shower so that when I don't have the option for a warm shower, I'm going to find comfort in the fact that, hey, you've done these cold showers for a while. So I think there's a lot of like there's a lot of you know, like

mental you know, sympathetic, nervous system. There's a lot of science and biology that goes into that. But I've started doing it and I do it as every time that I take a shower, then we go to the shake. One thing during COVID that has been really great is I've stayed home and I've gotten to like see my kids after I work out and have my shake and like either before they're going to school or if they're

online school and we're just all there. But so yeah, just get into kind of like have be a part of their the beginning of their day, because I I before I wasn't a part of the beginning of their day. It was more like they would see me when I got I would be out of the house early early, I would be going downtown to do my workout to our office downtown to do all of that routine. But it's been just a really pleasant surprise, or not surprise, but like a grace to be able to kind of

have that implemented. So the next thing I do is I have a tablet that's called a remarkable tablet. It has there's no blue light. It looks like a piece of paper, but it's a tablet, and there's no notifications that come to it or send out of it. It's basically a place that you can really kind of disconnect and start to really plan out your day that you can write, that you can sketch, that you can just

kind of like have something to like dialogue stuff. But it's also you know, you can take notes and then convert it to text if you wanted to remarkable remarkable. Yeah, it's really cool and it's just helped me be able to like have a place that I can plan that's not my phone, that's not my computer. And so I have a schedule every day that goes by the hour, and time batching is another thing that I kind of like start preparing for, Okay, this day, can we talk

on this podcast about time blocking? Yeah, and so I will. You know, I have a prayer that I say basically every morning and try to like prepare myself just to start with gratitude God, thank you for the habits that you're putting in my life. I pray that everything I do today can glorify you. I have another one that I say at the end of the day that's basically the same thing. Thank you for the the privilege and the resources that you've given me. I pray that I've

used them to your glory. Now that I'm clocking out, I pray that you clock in and do the invisible work to continue you will in my life so good, so the and again, these these things are like over a long period of time, have just you know it kind of have the Oh yeah, I like that, So I'm gonna like keep doing that. I'm gonna start doing that. I'm gonna tweak this. So so yeah, I get into my really my day planning, and that's where I feel like I set myself up for being productive in that day.

You always have to. I think preparation is really key because there's times where somebody will I'll bump into somebody and the best thing that I can do is be present with them and listen as long as they need me to. But if I'm so caught up in getting to my next thing that's on my schedule, I'm going

to totally miss that opportunity. So I almost have to anticipate and work that in, Like, hey, I need to prepare a schedule, but I need to give it time to breathe so that if Griz calls me and needs to talk, I'm not gonna be like pushing back appointments

and all of this stuff. And a lot of times, you know, with work, you know, you know, whatever career you're in, and like, I've found that it's been really great marketing to give your time to people because that one person recognizes like, man, they talk to me, and they were present, they listen to me. They go out and tell everybody anytime they hear your name, they're speaking man, that guy is amazing. And then that kind of like

builds a reputation, but it's an authentic reputation. No one likes the guy looking over his shoulder at whoever else is walking in the room. Yeah, no one likes that guy. Yeah, or like hey, I gotta go so or hold on sec you know, those kind of things. So that's kind of the morning routine right now. I'm sure I left some things out, but let's talk about because we at lunch today talked about the news source that you get and that goes into that day at some point. Yep.

So before I start checking email and kind of I feel like email after you prep for your day, I kind of have email checking is one of the things in the time blocking. I read a newsletter called Morning Brew and I feel like it it is kind of my news outlet, you know, it's I feel like it's kind of down the middle. It gives it's it's just straight journalism, reporting facts and having different links from different sides and everything, and it's it's really just trying to

gain perspective, different perspectives than my own. I can't just consume things that align with everything I believe, so it's gaining these different perspectives, and it's in a way that I feel like I can really understand what they're saying and kind of keep up on some of the news. Again because like I'm not on social media, I don't really cruise the internet. I don't watch a lot of TV, so and that gives you sports sports saying that politics,

technology to COVID updates, you know, things like that. So and then at that point it's like, oh, if we have to start the day, let's let's get to it. And that's when I check my email and like kind of figure out and by that time it's probably eight thirty And most days that I can do that, I feel I feel set up and that I have I've set myself up to be productive that day and successful that day. That's the standard. Yeah, I understand, and I will say that your brother in the midst of a

really difficult time that we've both been through. I had begun to lean on my feelings more than my standards. I was relying on how I felt, and I let that dictate my morning routine. And your brother Tyler sent me something, and for whatever reason, it just really rocked me and reminded me, Hey, healing is found here, like get back to your standards. And I felt like after I started kind of getting back in that routine, I just I started to heal and I started to find

my way forward. What did he send you? Do you remember? Yeah? He sent me a video by Ben Newman called Feelings Versus Standards. Yep. Yeah, Tyler is a He's a machine when it comes to that. You know, his time walking is scheduling. He's also single, not married, lives in an apartment on top of our office building, so he you know, he does have space in his life to do that. Sure, but he does set really really good standard. He's the guy that got me into Miracle Morning. December of twenty eighteen.

That is when I first started my is when I I first realized and I was hearing different guys on different platforms talk about their mornings. You know, you've heard for years like Mark Wahlberg, here's his morning routine, like it's you know, and they listed out in some magazine. So I've always been interested in that it successful people, what do they do in the mornings. But then I became kind of obsessed with it. And that's when Tyler

first introduced the idea of Miracle Morning. And December twenty eighteen is when I first looked at it and said, Okay, from when you wake up to when you start your day, you separate that into could be could you could start at ten minutes and you could end up like you and it could be two and a half hours. But in that time, you're setting your pace for your day. And so many times like I don't. I don't even

sleep with my phone in my room anymore. I sleep it's in a separate room, and my watch wakes me up. And because I want to avoid the temptation of first of all, getting in bed and looking at my phone, and second of all, God forbid waking up and looking at my phone. First thing, looking at and seeing a message from someone or group me from someone, or an email or God forbid social media of some bad news. I mean, there you started your tone for the day. Yeah,

there's no way to recover from that. What time do you go to bed? Typically I go to bed around ten to ten thirty. My wife is a night owl, and if I could, if I had it my way, I go to bed at like eight. But totally, like, I definitely understand that, Like, hey, there's something you know to be said for us, like you know, our our evening kind of routine of you know, going to bed together, praying together, Like, hey, let's let's keep that, and so

I can sacrifice that. It's fine. The cool thing is when you said a morning routine like yours, you don't have to set a evening routine because you're gonna be tired enough. You're worn out and you know it's ten o'clock and you're like, I gonna go to bed. And what I typically say to people that are are struggling or they're stuck, or they're just lethargic in some way or form, which has been almost all of us in twenty twenty. If you feel that way, radically change your

morning routine. And I love what you said about how your alarm goes off and you don't snooze because I get so guilty of going through patterns of snoozing, snoozing, snoozing. But I'm a better person if I just get up, set my if I want to if I want to snooze, I should set my alarm through that time that I was gonna snooze to. You're gonna get better sleep anyway.

But if you radically change your morning and set you know, time block that specific those things that help grow your your mind and your peace, then you'll notice the calm that's start. It's happening through your day, and then your your nights will start getting earlier and earlier. And it changes your exercise, It changes your eating, it changes how you listen to people when they're talking, and it it's it to me. That's number one. Start and why not

start with when you wake up? Start with when the day starts. So I love that, man, I love that story. And yeah, I just I would encourage anyone listening that's that's like, man, I just kind of I'm kind of stuck right now. Start start right now. You listen to this podcast and go, Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna take a couple of notes. I'm gonna set my alarm for let's say say you go to work at you leave the house at seven thirty typically, so then back up it.

I would say, back up an hour from that, instead of setting your alarm just in time to get dressed to leave, back up another thirty or forty five minutes, and it's literally just reverse thirty or forty five minutes or an hour, and then build this little schedule of I'm gonna for ten minutes, I'm gonna sit in silence for ten minutes, I'm going to exercise for ten minutes. I'm gonna write a journal. And it's not like some

sweet sixteen sappy journal. It's just like it could be you're talking to yourself, So it could be like feeling tired late night last night, a lot of stuff going on in the world, Excited about Friday with my friends, done, yep, yep. I feel like we need to be reminded of the

truths of our lives, and we forget those. But when we have that, there the best part of having it is being able to look back at it and be like, oh man, God was faithful here, yeah, oh oh man, I forgot about that, and just those are truths of our lives and like having reminders of those is great. Yea, all starts with the morning. Do you want to get into some questions? Yep. Still you are really good at this,

so we're gonna dig into your questions. Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com is the email if you want to ask anything that are just a shout out or piece of advice, whatever it might be. Grange Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. I'm gonna take a quick break, we'll get back and we'll get to the first question. Thankful to have sponsors for this podcast to bring this to you guys, so that you could listen for free. The

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this says Hey Grainger. My name is Austin. I'm reaching out from Princeton, Kentucky. I'm a guitar player, singer, songwriter. I wrote a song or two. I'm a big fan of music and how you delivered the message to your listeners and just how much heart and soul you pour into your songs. I've listened to your music since twenty twelve, and I was just wondering what are some good tips or advice on the music industry, what to look out for, things to get the ball rolling? How do you how

do you unwind? How do you get to a place to write and edit your songs when you write them. I've been a little bit I've had a little bit of trouble editing where trying to make it sound trying to make it sound better. I just want to ask you if you had any any advice on how to help me with that. I've been following your podcast and all of your songs, love all your music, keep them coming, God bless and ye. So this is a good one

for you, Burns. I kind of pulled this one out for you because you are a musician, singer, songwriter, not actively practicing, but once you are, you kind of always are sure. And this is like the question from a beginner, how do you get the ball rolling? Like where do you start? It's so overwhelming to think I could write a song, but then how do I get it? How do I get anyone to listen to it? How do I record it? Austin, I would tell Austin, I feel like we learn the most from our failures. I'm not

saying necessarily that my music career was a failure. But this ain't the you know, this ain't my podcast, So obviously I moved on to different things. But I read a book called So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport. I've read it too, Yeah, and I think this book maybe something you need to check out. It speaks to really honing your craft. And we have this craftsman mindset versus a passion mindset, and a lot of times we think, you know, Austin is passionate about music

and I'm gonna write these songs. And that was me, Like I was so passionate there. You would come to a show or hear me play and it was like, there's no lack of passion. But it wasn't until after kind of reflecting back on music that I realized I never really took the time to like perfect my craft, to really spend hour on hour writing songs and writing songs and writing and playing guitar and learning you know, scales, and I just didn't do that. I floated along with

just writing on passion alone. And so that would be my advice to you, Austin has just spend as much time as you can honing your craft and knowing that it likely is not going to happen overnight. I know it didn't happen that way for Grange, Like I mean how I mean, this guy has been grinding and grinding and grinding. And even when you've gotten to where you've gotten,

you keep doing the things that got you there. You like, continue, continue to hone your craft, keep writing, and I think the more that you kind of push into that craft, the better the music the songwriting is gonna be. And you know the point of that book is that you will be so good that people can't ignore it. And just like, oh, Austin, he doesn't do you know, it's like whoa man, Austin has got something we need to listen to. As far as the like practical nature, it

feels like a lifetime ago that I did it. So Gris may be able to talk about like how you make it sound a certain way and you know, all that kind of stuff, But that would be my thing. Just grind on that songwriting, grind on playing get really really really good at it. It starts with the song so you could you could only they say the music business, you can only shine a turd so much. You know, so you can't edit. I mean, there's no amount of editing you could do on a bad song to make

it finally sound good. And if it's a really good song, it just doesn't need that much editing. That's right, that's a good point. So you could have have a really good song just recorded on the voice member of your iPhone and with the scratchy background and dogs barking, and it's still a really good song. So I would just would not focus in the middle of your question here about you've had a little bit of trouble editing where it sounds better. I would just continue to finish new songs.

So write a song, finish it, and continue to try to start a song and finish it, and start another song and finish it. Instead of taking the one song and picking it apart so much to try to make it sound better, just move on, keep moving and build that repertoire, because then you can go back. You could always look back and go, oh, what, you know what that I remember a song I wrote last year, and I just figure out a way to make that bridge better.

Here's the idea, and that'll just come naturally. So don't get stuck on one song just keep moving. There is no secret to making it in the music business. And if there was a secret, it would be maintain that passion that got you in it from the beginning and have that the rest of your life. Whether you're playing on a street corner with your guitar case for tips, or whether you're playing in an arena, do it because you love it, not because you want to make it

or you want to you want to be famous. That's trust me, that's a terrible aspiration to have. You need to do music because you want to do it and you love it so much that you want to do it at a big level. There's nothing wrong with that. Good luck, buddy, and it's great. Don't dig too much into editing. You're in the right place. Here's one that the subject line is Wild at Heart, which is of course we talked about this in the last podcast. It's a great book by John Eldridge. I recommend it to

any boy out there. I know we have a lot of young boys listening eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen years old because I see your shout out emails coming in, and then we have a lot of dad and so it's important also for dads that are raising boys to read this book. Wild at Heart cannot recommend it enough. And here's a question that says, I just started listening to your podcast and have listened to the latest four episodes.

I found this book in May and read it back then, what would you say to men that are struggling with what it means being a man because they never got that confirmation from their fathers? Which Wild at Heart talks about the injury to a man's heart that happens from a father. And everyone has some sort of injuries. Some are bigger, some are smaller, but the reason everyone has one is because no man or father is perfect. Everyone

has flaws. That's just how it is. And the book talks about boys needed that confirmation from their fathers of that they are on the right path of becoming a man, and if they don't get it, they struggle with And we've all seen the guys that either you struggle in a way that you're over compensating, we've all seen that, like I'm a man, or they struggle in a way that's they're forever a servant to everyone else and never themselves.

So there's kind of two spectrums and the book does a really good job of explaining that, but burns what would you say? And I'm not sure if Alex here is asking for him, because he says, what would you say to the men that are struggling with what it means because they never got that confirmation from their father. I don't know if he's talking about himself or just in general, but it's a very common question. Sure everyone

deals with that some level. Sure. Yeah, that's a great question, And kudos to you for asking the question, because I think therein lies. You know, part of the answer is being vulnerable enough to accept your own reality and your own hurts, everything that's kind of happened to you in your life, and not to wear those as you know, anything other than what they are, don't try to mask them. Yeah, I think there's probably a lot of resources that would tell you a lot of different things of what a

man is and how to be a man. I think really it comes down to you finding security in who you are, confidence and complete security and who you are regardless of how you were treated grown up. And so maybe the question is who are you? Maybe that's what you don't know. So, like, if you're struggling to figure out how to be a man. Maybe it's because you're struggling to know who who am I? My identity has always been this and maybe you're realizing for the first

time that's not who you are. And so and in the public eye, there's a lot of miss misreads on what a man is like is a man? Does the man mean that a real man has his finger on a red button that could just blow up everybody? Or does a man mean he's the dude with the biggest truck in the parking lot. Or does the man the guy that has the most kids, Or is the man the guy that's never got married because he's single, And like, there's a lot of there's a lot of misinterpretations on

what that might be. When when Burnas was talking, I pulled up this poem because I love this poem. It's a great, a great poem to read on this podcast by ruder Kipling. It's called if do you know that poem? I like, sir, so I would say, I'd say read this point because for me, this is a great just a great interpretation of what it means to be a man. And so it says try to pull up my phone or I can read it right, I feel like my

eyes are getting bad, it says. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you. If you could trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too. If you could wait and not be tired of waiting or being lied about. Don't deal in lies or being hated, don't give way to hating, and yet don't look too good nor talk too wise. If you could dream and not make dreams your master. If you could think and

not make thoughts your aim. If you could meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two impostors just the same. If you could bear to hear the truth you've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to broken and stoop and build them up with worn out tools. If you could make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss and lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe a

word about your loss. If you could force your heart and nerve and sin you to serve your turn long after they're gone. And so hold on when there's nothing in you except the will, which says to them, hold on.

If you could talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings, nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, if all men count with you, but none too much, If you could feel the unforgiving minute, with sixty seconds worth of distance, run yours is the earth and everything in it, and which is more? You'll be a man, my son. That's really good. That's the poem if by Rdred Kipling. Alex,

that's your question. What would you say to men that are struggling with what it means to be a man? I would say, go to that point and just dig it apart, man, just dig it line by line. Yeah, walk with kings, nor lose the common touch. That's a great line. Yeah, yeah, great question, Alex. Yep, see, we got time. We could do another one. Oh, this is a good one I saw. This is the title of Kids in Politics. It says, Hey the Granger. I'm Eric Johnson,

twenty five years old from Salina, Kansas. I hope to see you around here again sometime soon. My question, I have a twenty month old son and I shall be working on a second here sometime soon. I'm going to try to leave yours and my politics my political views

out of the conversation. But I was always pretty ignorant to politics before the twenty sixteen election, and that election really opened my eyes to everything going on in this country and how much everything has been pressured in political views on people, let alone all the political bs that's

going on. I will definitely do everything I can to keep my kid's eyes wide open to the world and keep their views and hearts pure, but make sure that they also know how the world in our country works, to keep them knowledgeable to the world and not too ignorant to things without pressure. My question, though, is that with all the political influence in the world, how do you keep your kids away from all the negative influence.

Do they know how much might be going on and what do you explain to them or do you just try to keep them out of it altogether? What are your plans in the future when you talk about this with them, Grangel, I'll be honest with you here, but I'm really not much of a religious person, so faith may not be able to help me much on this one. Eric Johnson another good question. Yeah, it's heavy, and Eric,

that's early. You're asking it early because you have a twenty month old son, So it's good you're getting a head started on an important question. It's not like it's you know, London for me is nine, Boston for you is ten ten. So our oldest are nine and ten and ironically named after two cities, Fos London. But they're they're definitely at the ages when they're they're watching, they're

soaking up this stuff. And first and foremost, before they watch the news, before they watch social media or TikTok or before all that, they're watching you. They're watching you, and they're watching you watching it. So they're watching how does dad respond to news? And so you ask, how do you keep your kids away from all the negative? Well it starts with what is negative? Are they watching dad throw its boots at the tv? Are they watching dad throw his phone over the back fence? And why

is dad so mad? So they are learning from you that politics affect dad in this way, and if it doesn't affect you in a negative way, Daddy, what's going on? You go, it's just grown men in Washington arguing again and that's how they look at it. Then it's not going to be that big a deal to them. And when all the friends pressure them into thinking it's a big deal, you get like the poem, if keep your wits about you, when everyone else is losing theirs, you

keep your wits. And I think that's that's first and foremost is in politics and kids, because there's a reason that they have age limits on everything in life, driver's license, alcohol, It's because kids are not ready for adult things. They're not ready for adult problems. They don't need to invest themselves in adult problems, and so right now it's about training them to control your reactions to the world. What are you doing with your kids? That's man. I think

you hit the nail on the head. I think that they are watching us even more than we know that they're watching us. And the example that you gave is, you know, pretty ironic, because a lot of times people will try to shelter their kids from anything different than what they believe, anything negative. But the way that they're responding to that is teaching the kids something. I love that you're asking the question, especially when they're that young.

As a parent, I think half the battle more than half the battle is just showing up and caring and trying. So in the end you can say, man, I gave it my best shot. They are they're going to understand. I understand now that my mom and dad were human in you know, a pretty crazy world and they were just doing their best, and they did their best for

me to like set me on the right path. I think there's something to be said for them being exposed to certain things in an environment where you can help them understand it and you can help explain why that person is talking to that person that way, what you know what, because those are the things that kids probably don't understand a lot of times, and if we if we shelter them from it and like block it out completely, eventually they will get exposed to it and it's like

they you know, kind of freak out. But if we can expose them to I mean things like politics and political division and but a whole gamut of different you know, struggles and sufferings in life in the still in the nest, then I feel like that's going to help them properly be able to process when they're seeing things and you're not there. Absolutely, I would I would use your home as a place of comfort for them too. So say, I don't think you should be sitting around watching say

riots on TV with your kids. But if you do and it's on TV, or you say you're at you're you're at a place and there's a TV on and it shows some violent riots and kids ask about it, I would say I would say something to the extent of, I want you to know that people disagree in this world, and people don't always see eye to eye, but when you're with me and you're in our house, you're always safe. You're always safe with me, and it's just building that.

Ah okay good because you could see it and you go, is that come in to our house and reassure them that no, that happens in the world, but not in our house, not with me and your mom, not with your siblings. It's this is your safe place. We'll always have each other, we'll always look after each other, and nothing bad is going to happen with us in our

core family. Yeah. I think the goal is a parent and my wife and I talk all the time about like we want to we want to be the people that our kids come to later in life when they're having struggles or they're like going through something. But if we don't practice that now, then they won't do it later. So even from the youngest age that you know, your kids start to see things never miss and I know

I do it all the time. I'm like, hey, I should have told him this, like take the chance to like, hey, Boston, this is why this And even if it looks like they're not soaking anything in and they're just like can I go play now, it's like I'm trying to teach you something they are, you know, it's all coming in and what it's teaching him is like, my dad loves me and he's trying to teach me. Even if that's it.

My dad loves me and he's trying to teach me, even if they don't grasp what you're trying to teach him. I hope that you know in my extensive research of child psychology, which is none, but I feel like that that you know in my experience from growing up, and you know, with my kids now, it's the best I got totally. You could either protect your children from the world or you can prepare them for the world. You go.

You you could protect them all day long, they're gonna come out, and eventually they're gonna leave the nest, and all those lessons are going. The world is either going to teach them the lessons or you are. I would much rather teach my kids the harder lessons than a teacher or a principal in an office, or a boss or a friend down there. I'd much rather teach those hard things where I can control the way I want

them to learn it. Then eventually they're gonna If I don't, somebody's gonna teach them that principle is gonna teach them or something. So yeah, I would say preparing them for the world is a better avenue than protecting them. And I wouldn't. First of all, dude, Eric, you got a twenty month old. Soak that little boy up, Hug him, kiss him every chance I get, you get, squeeze him. Don't worry about politics and him. Yeah, that's way down the road. It's good that you're asking it, it's good

you're thinking about it, But that's down the road. We can't control tomorrow. All we have is today, So soak that little boy up. And when the time comes and he's seven, eight, nine, ten years old and he's asking questions about the TV. You'll be ready for it then it's right. Griz could be president by then, and it's all Everything's gonna be all good. There won't be any

political happened. No, we're just gonna be on this podcast. Okay, I'd rather do that comment below if you want to see more Bernie, if you want to say more Bernie on the comments, because this dude he drops some drops some wisdom on you guys. Appreciate y'all so much. Email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com and we'll get your questions answered. See it you, guys, Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys.

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