Father-in-law hates me

my brother Parker, who's always so good. If you have any questions like that or anything else, could be life or music or relationships or anything at all, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. We'll add it to the queue and we'll get on here and we'll answer them like we're sitting around a campfire and you bring it up and this is a this is a good one. We have some great questions today and I love to

be able to answer them with Parker. I'm also excited because we're touring and by the time you see this podcast, we will have already done our first big run in the Midwest, which is Kansas and Wyoming and South Dakota, and then we have all kinds of other dates on the books. Right now. I even saw California in June, which is great because we have such great fans in California and it's a relief to see that a state that has been through so much trouble over the last

year is now opening up for country concerts. Also saw New York, another state that I didn't think we're going to be back to in a while, and I see it on the calendar for this fall. So everybody in between New York and California, we're coming to see you. Get ready. Grangersmith dot com is where you can find out all of that information and see if we're coming

to your town. If you don't see your town on there yet on grangersmith dot com, hang tight, keep check in watching my socials and we'll be announcing because a lot of the dates we've confirmed, but we haven't put them up on the website yet and we'll wait till they're ready to launch and put tickets on sale and all that kind of stuff. We're also gonna be doing meet and greets, so a lot of great stuff happening. Such a relief that this great stuff is happening now,

so stay tuned for that. And this is a great episode. Thanks for watching, Thanks for listening. Welcome to the Grangersmith Podcast, Episode eighty one. Yee roll the intro months time and long line, fool of up and down, go back, rangy Yeah, thenation the farm is recovering from ye day. We will rebuild. It looks like we just plowed out in the field out back and it's ready to be ready to spread

some seed on it. Actually, I have two fifty pounds bags of oats and I thought maybe go throw it out there onto the place where we did all the mudding. So what we're talking about is we did ye E Day. We celebrated ten years since the gee was first set by us, and then five years since we incorporate Geee Apparel. So we celebrated Yegee Day and it was it was pretty amazing. We're gonna do it bigger and better next year.

We tore up so much grass munting, which is why we have this farm though, like we don't really have this farm to farm, hey, you know, we we have it for content, for inviting influencers, for having fun. I was thinking as everything wound down, and Ben, who runs all our social media, and Tyler and I were all in my office and it was in Hayden and it was like ten thirty and it's getting late and things

were winding down. Everybody had left, and Ben Ben goes, I feel like you know when you when you win a big football game in high school that was like a big rivalry and you're just kind of sitting in the locker room afterwards, sitting in front of your locker just like, wow, that just happened. Because that's how I felt.

That's exactly how I feel. I spent one hour yesterday cleaning my truck, and I'm still finding mud in my clothes, in my Like the inside of my truck is still completely mudded out, outside is pretty clean, undercarriage still has mud. I'm still finding mud. In fact, look at the camera right now. Look look at that still finding it. Yeah, like I'm still finding it on the lens of the camera. Okay, we're gonna answer some questions today. Parker is one of

my favorite guests. Anytime I have you as a guest, our TikTok does really well on the podcast. Yeah that's show biz. I'm gonna go easy on your first one, and if you want to, if you want to ask me anything with whatever guest I have on this podcast. We put these out every Monday. You could email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Could be any subject we had lunch with, pastor Chad the other or now passer Josh. Wait, who do we have lunch with? We have lunch with?

Still so many pastors trying to learn it was Chad. Yeah, it was Chad because he he mentioned me on the podcast and so he's probably listen now, and so I'm a little bit more self aware of what I'm saying now, but I think we should always speak as if our pastor is watching. I'm gonna go easy with your first question, says I absolutely love the Smiths podcast and Rise with the Amber. Y'all are real down to earth people. Thank you, James. So his quick question any idea how long till the

boots are available? Or how long are the boots available? And are they on the EEE site? So I figured i'd thrill you this one. It's a little bit of a source subject. Yeah, I think the company that we partner with put up a few more pair that were available, but I'm not sure how long they're going to be there, and we're not going to be restocking or doing that. So Will ye get back into the footwear business anytime soon.

I think people are probably wondering that we had a call with hey dude the other day that everybody loves, but I don't think. I don't think they want to work with us. So if if you have any suggestions of footwear companies that we should work with, let us know. But there's no plans in the near future. Yeah, I mean, I think having boots on ee dot com is awesome.

It seems like a good fit. No pun intended. It's not sound as easy as we thought because you got to either stalk all those sizes or have someone do it for you. So it's going to be about us finding the right partner. And that kind of leads me to my next question from Ishmael. He says, how do you Granger your My name is Ishmael. I'm from south of Houston, Texas, and I've been trying to get into my own merchandise, but I really don't know how to start. Would you have any tips? Have a great day. This

is for me. It's just a discussion. I do actually see this quite a bit, people saying I want to start a merchandise company. I want to start e commerce. I want to start selling some kind of product, but I don't know how to start. It seems to be the question. And so if we could just give a quick answer on how do you start a merchandising company? Yeah, I may have a little bit of a pessimistic answer

for you, but there's definitely ways to do it. I don't know if I could start at an apparel company from scratch if it was just me and I didn't have some influencer someone who's creating that demand. I was just talking to the TikTokers on Friday when they were here, who were part of the chatter gang on TikTok. So shout out to those guys for coming. But I was talking to them, and everybody can create a brand these days, because everybody can put a logo on a shirt and

a hat and call it a lifestyle brand. It's a really cool world we live in. But the hardest thing to do is create that demand and make people care. It's it's like, you need a personality, you need a mission, you need a why. And I was talking to those guys and I was like, man, y'all already created the why. You created this lifestyle. People love you Now, all you got to do is three things. Number one, you got

to create a solid product that's a quality product. Number two, you need to market it in an interesting way, get it in front of eyeballs and make people care about it. And then number three is have send it to them reasonable time and have good customer service with it, so it's like demand product, market it and then have decent customer service and boom, there you go. Sometimes you can have just a couple of those things and be a

successful business. But you know the goal is to have all four in my opinion, But man to that guy wondering how to do it, some people can do it without that initial demand or X factor. You have to be really smart have a really really good product. If you don't have that, yeah, exactly, you got to make

up for it in one of those ways. So I would just go over that and be like, how can I create a product that's different than everybody else, that's worth remarking about it, makes it remarkable, and how can I how can I market it in an interesting way that's different, that's interesting? Mee of Harold started essentially as Granger Smith Merchandise the band, and we started that because we needed. We weren't making very much money playing concerts,

so say say we make five hundred bucks. That was kind of the average price we used to get paid back in day, five hundred bucks. But we have we're traveling with seven people, so you divide five hundred by seven and you're barely paying for gas. So we needed

another income source. So we started selling T shirts, printing those hats, and then if we could make two or three hundred bucks a night selling T shirts and hats and CDs, then that would help pay for the fuel and maybe a hotel room and just get us down the road. So that's how it started. And then as that grew, and as our passion for that grew, it turned into its own entity, its own apparel company. So without that, take that away, take touring away, take the

band aspect away. Gosh, it would be really hard just to start a brand. A lot of people do it. I would say, if you're gonna ask for one way to do it, I would say social media. Start on social media. Maybe just start with memes. Start with a catchphrase it's really funny that gets popular on social media. Easier said than done. And run with that catchphrase until it gets to be popular enough in some circles that

you could make a shirt and sell the shirt. I heard someone say the other day that if your first question is how much money can I make off of this, then you're already gonna fail. Some people can succeed doing that. But the first question is how can I provide value? Where's there something in the market that I can fill a need and I can serve people, and then in

exchange there will be money in exchange for that. It's amazing switching that mindset to service instead of me, me me, How could I add value and watch that value come back to you tenfold? It's crazy how that happens, but it does. Yeah, here's a dog question, says Hey Grangeer. Not sure if you're going to see this or not, but my husband and I are researching German shorthaired pointer

dogs and are considering getting one soon. We're concerned because we want kids in our near future, and there's mixed reviews about gsps with young kids. I was wondering if you had any personal input type of people that want to take our time and train it right and give it proper exercise. And we understand they have a high energy level and especially around children. So hoping to hear back. So I can answer this directly to carry because I have two gsps and I have dogs, I have kids,

so man, I love gsps. They are amazing dogs for kids. They're your typical bird dog, which falls into the category of laboratory retrievers golden retrievers. These bird dogs have high energy, but they're just the sweetest, the sweetest personalities. We also have a V Shlow, which is another bird dog, so yeah,

high energy. The only risk you have with children and bird dogs is literally this is it the dog knocking a toddler over because they're wagging their tail too hard or you know, like that's the only risk you're going to have around kids. You're never going to have an aggression problem. You're they're always going to be protective of your kids. And so I cannot, I cannot recommend a GSP enough. You always you always hold Luna, who is your who is your newest GSP on her back, cradling

her in your arms. And I was at my buddy Gus's house this weekend and his wife had their They have a sheep of doodle, sheep dog, have sheet dog, have poodle and she was holding him just like that, and he was just sleeping on her shoulder. And then Gus said that whenever their puppies, I always grab them by their back like that, and then the ones that squirm and we got to get out. I'd try to find the ones that are calm and have a calm demeanor. And he said, it's always worked out for our family

where we always get a really well tempered dog. You can kind of tell, like instinctually the ones that are calm when you put them on their back. And I was like, that's so funny because Granger does the same thing. Yeah, you could do that, but you could do that with any puppy. So even the wild alpha of the litter, you could grab that one and they're gonna squirm, squirm, scorn, but you just hold him in a dominant way, firmly, securely, but gently, and any any of the alphas will do

the same thing. Eventually they just submit and they go okay, you got me, mm okay. And then so that's what I was doing with Luna, because she when I first would flip Luna over and hold her on her back cradle like a baby, she wouldn't like it that she would, you know, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, and then finally I was just talking to her in a calm voice and she would just eventually learn this is a safe spot. Relax, You're under control, and it's a good thing. So I

could still do it with Remy. I could still do it with all three of them. Actually, Okay, getting a little bit deeper. This question is from Ezra. It says, Hey, Grangeer, I'm a big fan of the podcast. My name is Ezra from Lincoln, California. I have a big problem. I need some advice on about me and my woman. We recently got engaged and I really want to get her father's blessing. But he always refused to meet me and he thinks and I quote, he has tast and he

is the devil and he's never even met me. I love my fiance more than anything in the world, and I want to be welcomed into her family and I don't know what to do. I've tried everything I could think of. Any advice would be great, and this is interesting. Ezra, thank you for thank you for emailing, and thank you, you know, shout out to California, Lincoln, California. I have an answer for you that you're probably not gonna like this is coming from not only your perspective as a fiance,

but also as a father of a daughter. Here's what I'm gonna say. You, Like I said, you're not gonna like this, but let me repeat your words. I have a problem. I recently got engaged. I really wanted her father's blessing, but he always refused to meet me. So I think that's a problem right off the bat, there's no there was no to get engaged without the father's approval, And so how would you feel? How would I feel? How would any father feel if he's not sure about

this guy? He's not sure If he approves he hasn't met him yet and he goes ahead and just proposes and gets engaged anyway, well that's not going to help the matter. And this is regardless of what kind of guy is. Like, maybe the guy's a total jerk, and maybe he's just a punk, and he might be, but

maybe he's awesome. Maybe he's a good guy. My advice to you, if you really want his blessing and you love her more than anything in the world, like you said, and you want to be welcomed into her family, and you say you've tried everything. I'll give you one thing you haven't tried here. It is take the ring back off her finger, put it back in your sock drawer. Call the dad on the phone and just say, mister so and so, I just want to tell you that

I called off the engagement. And it's not because of a lack of love. I actually love your daughter more than anything, stronger than I've ever felt in my life, and I just want to let you know that I have canceled the engagement for the sake of you and regardless of what he says at the time end of the conversation there, then I want you to go and you get a notepad out, and I want you to write a letter to him stating exactly your intentions with

his daughter. How are you going to take care of her, how you love her, what your future is going to look like with her, where you're going to live, what job you plan on having, List everything out and make it like a contract and sign your name and at the very end say I don't want to go through with anything else until I could see you face to face. So I'm planning on coming to you at this time signed Ezra mail it to him and wait, yeah, I

couldn't say any better than that. Hard to tell without context. That's a lot of these questions are. But I mean, yeah, I mean, if you really love her, you really care about her, you're going to care about you know. I mean, you're setting yourself up for a lot of potential drama and heartache and unnecessary uh drama if you're starting off the marriage like that, with that on that, not footing with her her family. It's different. If you're saying, man,

the guy's he's abusive, he's terrible, he's an addict. My wife, my girlfriend's just trying to get away from him. It's that's different. But I don't think you're saying that. Uh. And So, like I said, coming from a father of a daughter, one of these days, I'm going to look for I'm going to look for a son in law that is that cares enough, that loves enough my daughter that he's willing to do what ever it takes to

prove that to me. And I think I think that that letter, that phone call and canceling, you're not really canceling. You're just postponing the engagement. You're taking the ring off her finger and and sit back and wait and have patience, and you might want to stay in there somewhere. I'll wait as long as it takes. What that would prove a lot, I'll wait. I'll wait years if it takes, if it takes two years. And inside you're you're hearing

this podcast, going, dude, I can't wait two years. You're crazy. No way, can't wait that lover. Well, that's my thought right back in as I see if you I want to see what happens, let's go to I wonder how old he was. Yeah, there's a lot of lot of stuff in here that we don't know. Here's another question that's kind of daughter related. It says Stranger, and this is from Let's See. This is from Jeff from Illinois.

It says s Granger. My question is you've often said on the Smiths that you would not want your daughter London to grow up to be a singer due to the volatile nature of the music industry. Have you ever feared gaining too much success and fame and with all the stressors that come along with that. Obviously you want to be successful and make the best music you can, but with more success, would most likely bring more fame.

Another way to ask the question would be, have you ever feared getting lost in the music industry and losing touch with who you are? It says, thanks for all you do, Graander. Your music saves people, Ye, Jeff from Illinois. It's an awesome question. I get similar questions to this, and I answer it this way. I always want to surround myself with people that can keep me grounded, which is why my brother is my manager, which is why this brother here, Parker is the CEO of EE Apparel.

These guys my tour managers is a twenty plus year best friend. My band has all been with me over ten years. So I'm surrounding myself with people that can constantly keep me grounded and staying away from people that become yes men and do whatever I say just because I'm saying it, and I don't want that. Nobody really wants that deep down, because that's where the corruption comes from. The second thing I would say is you have to

always be careful with how you define success. He says, Obviously you want to be successful in the music business, but what is successful? What is success? It's always defined differently, Like is my idea of success as many hit singles or as many sold out tour dates is humanly possible in a record level stacked and stacked and stacked back to back to back so that I could hang plaques on the wall. Or is my success come more from how you ended the email? Your music saves people? Like

what if I ranked it that way? What if I ranked my success by Jeff from Illinois says, your music saves people instead of your music sets records. Because whatever the end goal is, that's going to be a very different path that I'm taking. And I'd like to think the path I'm taking revolves more around trying to live a meaningful life and trying to inspire through the platform

that has been given to me by this community. It's one of the most common questions and one of the biggest topics that people talk about and you hear all the time, especially in the music industry, but really in this world that we live in, any type of influencer, the idea is how can you get how can you get fame and a following and not lose yourself along

the way. It's like the oldest story of mankind, and it's like asking, you know, how do you not lose yourself along the way, or do you not want to get too big. It's like, I think that's just a lack of confidence in your own in your own uh, you know, morals in your own you know foundation of who you are. I think it's definitely possible to to get popular and keep your morals along the way and continue to help people. I think the biggest thing is

is remembering your why. And if your why is to get as much money as possible and to be as famous as possible, then maybe it will be a little bit more difficult to stay grounded along the way. But if your your purpose is to you know, fulfill God's plan for your life and something bigger than yourself and to and to genuinely help people, then it's probably a little bit easier as you grow to know that you know, no,

none of it's coming from anything that you're doing. It's just God's plan for your life and you're just trying to do as much as you can while you're here. Yeah, and you talk about morals. If you want to uphold uphold morals in any career that you're doing, you really need you have to. It's imperative you find out what your moral basis is coming from. Like where are your morals coming from? Are they coming from good vibes, good philosophy,

Are they coming from parents? Are they coming from law enforcement? Like you have good morals because you don't want to break the law because you don't want to go to jail or you don't want to pay a fine. Me personally, my morals are coming from the Bible read as it is as a historical document written by eyewitnesses during the lifetime of other eyewitnesses that claim supernatural events that fulfilled ancient prophecies that were inspired by God. That's where my

morals come from from what those words say. I don't always want to follow those morals like my flesh my body, and I don't want to break them, you know a lot of times, but I don't because the fear of God and the faith of God, which means taking it, taking the word of God as truth the way it's written.

I want less and less to be successful in the music business in a form of plaques and records and chart topping statistics, and I want more and more to be successful in the music business by changing one life at a time for the better. I don't always succeed in that. But that's my why. That's why I'm striving to do this. That's why I have a podcast. I don't really want to do this podcast every Monday, you know. I don't do it just because I'm like, man, it's

going to be great. I just really want to sit in here and sit in a hot room on a stool and get a microphone every single Monday and put this. I don't. I mean I enjoy it, don't get me wrong, but that's not why I do it. I don't do it because I love talking on a microphone in an empty room and hoping people listen to it. What's the old saying you don't rise the level of your goal as you fall to the level of your standards. I

think that's it. Yeah. I was reading this morning in Galatians and Paul is listing out particular sins, and one of the sins that he listed with selfish ambition. I thought that was very interesting. That just popped out to me, like selfish ambition, selfishness. Selfish ambition almost falls in every single category of when Paul starts talking about sins. Yeah, so I mean that falls right into it. What's the ambition for what's the same for what are you doing

it for? Selfishers are not? It's crazy when Paul writes that two thousand years ago, how it could just be twenty twenty one to a tee. That's what's so crazy about it. Humans don't change. I'll see if we can get a quick one in here before break. I see Jordan Peterson in this one. I don't think that's gonna be quick. Let me root what that says? Says. Hey Granger, my name is Jake McPherson. I'm twenty one years old. I live in Gholston, North Carolina. Shout out to North Carolina.

Currently listening to your podcast while writing this, I was wondering what's your favorite series from Jordan Peterson? Also, any advice giving to someone who's starting a business. I really appreciate any kinds of words of inspiration and wisdom you pass on. I hope you have a great day. God blessed. We were just talking about Jordan Peterson before we turn on the podcast here to record, and I got turned on to Jordan through Twelve Rules for Life. I don't

remember was it me that found him first? Maybe I don't remember. Out of the three brothers who found him first. I feel like that was me. I found him somewhere. No I sent it, I sent, Did you find it? I sent? Yeah, totalles for life to you. So I haven't read the twelve Moraules. And there's a lot to take away from Jordan that's really really good, and there's a few things that you go he doesn't have it all figured out yet. Not that I'm many smarter than him.

He's an absolutely brilliant man, but he kind of goes back to the first question. He doesn't have the foundation of his morals are solely on the philosophy of man. And so that's where I would encourage anyone that's listening to Jordan to be wary of where Jordan's morals and foundation is coming from, because he is still working that out. He's probably the first one to admit it. He's a brilliant speaker, brilliant writer, brilliant psychiatrist, but he is still

working things out in his own life. And look at the fruits of where Jordan is now. He's a struggling man. Yes, listen to him. He has some great stuff on the Joe Rogan podcast. Yeah, I'll answer my very favorite thing that stood out to me that changed my life for the better from Jordan was his idea of cleaning up your room. And when you clean up your don't go

try to change the world seventeen year old. You can't go change you know, the political world in the spectrum and go stand out in the streets and stand up for you know whatever, cause you think you're going to change the world for It's like, is your room clean? Is your bathroom clean? Did you clean off that stack of papers off your desk? And it's like, yeah, it'd be great if you could lose eighty pounds and start the business you've always wanted and start waking up at

six am. But a lot of times it's easy to get overwhelmed and you're setting yourself up for failure. So he says, have the humility to set the bar properly low. So it's like having an honest conversation with yourself and asking yourself, what am I willing to do right now? You know, your subconscious is not just your slave that

you can boss around. It's like looking around honestly and saying, okay, well maybe I could clean up you know, that dirty laundry in the corner over there that's been there for a week and a half and a lot of times those tiny improvements. What he means by cleaning up your room is this tiny improvement snowball. And if you improve your life one percent at a time, then in three years you got completely different life. If you do that

every day, that really stuck with me. Let's take a quick break and then get back and talk a little bit more about Jordan. It's worth it. This podcast is brought to you free of charge by a couple of different sponsors. One of them is Headspace And wouldn't it be great if they were a pocket sized guide that helped you sleep, focus, act be better than there is? If you have ten minutes, Headspace can change your life. Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the forms

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slash Granger, code Granger. So going back to the conversation with Jordan Peterson, it's interesting I was actually thinking about this this morning because we live in a society now that there's like this famous saying that says, be the change you want to see in the world, right, And the idea Jordan has, and the idea I really agree with too, is that when you see a problem in the world, what we should be seeing is the problems in ourselves. Because we're so quick to look at the

world and go it's so messed up. I'm gonna I'm not that messed up, but the world is. And so I'll just shine brighter so that it reflects into the world. Instead of saying what Jordan would believe, I'm looking at the world, it has problems, and I go home and my bedroom is dirty, and that's a tiny microcosm of the world. Is my sink, Like my sink has toothpaste

drops on it. Right, So what if I started right here cleaning the toothpaste drops off of my own sink, and tackling a small task in my garage that's in the corner of the garage. It's a mess. And I started organizing that, And then what if everyone in the world did that, you truly would have a good place. There's a little bit slight of a difference in the way you look at the world. The world. Everyone's going to look at the world and see problems like that's unanimous.

Everyone that's alive goes the world's not perfect. It has a lot of problems, But seldom do we look at ourselves and go and I'm part of it. I'm contributing to it. Yeah, you might not be a murderer or a thief, but you're a slob, and you're lazy and you eat too much. We're all guilty of these things. And so if we all work on ourselves and see ourselves as part of the collective problem, then we could truly start correcting on a massive level when it starts

at a micro level. Those are the things that Jordan thinks about relentlessly, and I enjoy listening to them. Yeah, the fundamental message is those things that seem insignificant, small that you think aren't going to affect anybody or do anybody any good, are the most important things that you can do. It's such an inspiring message because he's like,

have the humility to set the bar properly low. What's one small thing you can do today to improve your life, and then by doing it, having faith that it will compound and you will not only change your life in three years. He says, every person in their lifetime comes into contact with about a thousand people the average person. Each one of those people comes in contact with another thousand people, So every man or woman is one step

from a million people. It's like, those insignificant things that you're doing have the potential to change the world, rather than going out and trying to change the world. It's kind of a paradox. It is a paradox. If you want to learn more about Jordan, yeah, just YouTube and see I would probably rank it on the most popular videos on YouTube, and just that you can get a quick introduction to who he is and what he talks about.

Be careful though he's not perfect, as you know, none of us are, but he has a lot of those clinical psychologists. I was just talking to a buddy about this. They a they're extremely intelligent, but then a lot of them end up in severe, severe depression because they're so intelligent, and they go searching for the meaning of life, and many of them do not believe in a higher power. And so when you get searching for the meaning of life and your your heart is closed off to Christ,

then it's a scary It's a scary tunnel. It is. Next question title girls and God seems like a decent transition. Shout out to any over the road truckers they're listening. I don't know why I just thought about that, but I do know we have a lot of over the road truckers that listen to this podcast, and I think that's a great place to listen to this podcast, whether you're commuting to work or driving a tractor or driving over the road truck. Shout out to that. This question says,

girls and God. Hey Grangel, this is Sean from Philadelphia. Have an issue and I'm not sure how to go about it. I don't know if you know what a simp is, but I've been called a simp all through high school. I've always had a spot in my heart for girls and I've always been rejected by girls. I thought that every time this was going to be a

sure bet. The last one especially was especially hard for me because my best friend became her boyfriend despite knowing my feelings for her that just recently broke up, so I thought it was just my opportunity. I waited for a few months after their breakup then confess my feelings for her. During their relationship, she was my best friend and now she is afraid of hurting me. Do you have any advice for how I could show devotion for her?

I've been praying about this, but nothing seems to be happening. Thanks for your podcasting. Yee ye. How old is? He doesn't say, I'm assuming Sean's pretty young. What is a simp? A simp is somebody who puts girls on a had a store, ah, and it's always complimenting them and treating them as a queen and that they're not worthy and yeah yeah, so okay, well that seems like a problem. Yeah, I have a thought. One thing that really helped me was this idea when George Cline was struggling with getting

acting roles in big movies. He calls it the tyranny of being picked, and it's the idea. Every time he'd go into an audition, he was really nervous and was just thinking, Man, I hope I get this part. I hope I'm lucky enough to get it. I hope I impressed this director. I really hope he likes me. I need this so bad. And one day it just hit him when he was just getting failure after failure, and he said, he said, when I think about it, this

director has a big problem. He has to find somebody for this role that's going to be perfect for it. And so if I put myself in his shoes, it's like he's got to go through all these different candidates and try to find the perfect person. So George started thinking, I'm going to go in instead of hoping I get picked, I'm going to go into it like I'm solving this problem for him. And not to say that we should just blindly tell ourselves that we're going to be solving

the problem for a girl. And you don't want to get ego driven or overconfident with it. But it's this idea of like work on yourself enough, work on your faith, your purpose, your mission, get your life in order, and then you generally will feel more confident in yourself and say, you know, every girl is looking for that perfect father

of her children. If you try to become that best version of yourself, then you will be in a better position to say, you know, I'm helping you solve this problem rather than hope, please God let her pick me. Totally agree, Totally agree, Sean, this is one of these times. And I always look at these questions as like we're sitting around a campfire, me, you and Parker and you're like, hey, guys,

gotta tell you something that's been bothering. I always look at this podcast as that kind of situation, and if we were sitting in a campfire, I'd say, Sean, lay off the girls for a little bit. Especially if people call you a simp, then maybe they're recognizing I'm not laughing at all at you. I'm I'm laughing because to me, it seems obvious that you need a little bit of a break and you need you need to do more

guy things with more guys and develop yourself. And it sounds to me this email sounds like you're desperate for a girlfriend, not for the girl, and to be desperate for a girlfriend is going to lead to failure every time. So buddy, it's going to happen for you. It's gonna I don't know many people in my life that besides my older brother and my middle brother Tyler, that just literally don't find anybody for a long time. That's because

Tyler doesn't try. But I don't. What I'm trying to say is I don't know very many people that go through an entire life and come old and gray and go. I just never found anybody. I just never did. The whole time I was alive. I didn't find anybody compatible. It's just you're gonna find somebody, Sean, You're going to It's gonna happen, and you can't will it into happening.

You can't try hard enough to make it happen. And you've seen too many movies like The Notebook, and you've seen too many chick flicks where the guys are willing it to happen by romance and by saying the right things.

But the reality is, if you just be yourself, you're going to attract your girl by being you, not by saying the right things or being the right romantic person that you think they want or being afraid or being you, just be you and you're going to attract your girl because even if you tried hard, you can't keep that act up forever. And if you just trick a girl into relationship because you said the right things, eventually you're going to fall back into being you and she's going

to figure that out. So it's better just to be you from the beginning. And if she doesn't like you, or if you're having to overwork yourself and overthink and who is the type of person I need to be to get this girl back, it's like that's not the right girl for you. The girl for you is the girl that's going to love you for who you are.

True confidence is not about always saying the right thing or showing the perfect body language, but it's about knowing the most important thing in this situation is that you'll be okay no matter what, and coming to the realization that, hey, even if I don't find a girl, I'll still be okay because God alone is sufficient in my life. And when you come to that conclusion, that is going to put off a type of energy and confidence that's going

to attract any type of girl that you want. The type of man that is independent enough to say, I don't have to have a girl, so I to define myself because I know that I'll be okay no matter what.

And even if you say the wrong thing. But if you're being yourself, and people if you say, if you speak your truth and you speak from the heart and you're yourself, even if people may view that as weak, you know that and they reject you for it, you know that you'll never reject yourself because you're being who you are and you know that you'll be okay no

matter what. I want to tell you something, chean, and this might not be easy to hear, but let me read back what you said you wanted this girl, then they broke up, and you said, I waited a few months after the breakup, then confess my feelings for her during their relationship was my best friend. So now she's afraid of hurting me, buddy, that's language for she just

doesn't she don't want to do this. And I know that's not what you want to hear, but her being afraid to hurt you means she doesn't want to date you. That's just that's the reality. Because if she liked you, she wouldn't care. She wouldn't care about hurting you because she would feel like she's not going to hurt you, you know what I mean. She'd feel like you're the one and there is no fear of hurting you. So that just means that means no, So time to move on.

And that's not bad. There's there's three point five billion girls in this world, so you don't want to hear that. But that's just me on the outside looking in. There's just one girl and she's not the one you thought she was. She's not. Okay. I appreciate you, dude. I appreciate you writing. I'm sorry that if I was harsh, but I truly want the best for you because you're writing into this podcast and I don't want to lead

you astray. And I wouldn't want to tell you something just to make it sound nice and pretty for everyone else and make you feel good and warm and fuzzy, and me tell you be a knight in shining army and go get her if you want to, Sean, go get her writer a letter. No, don't do that. The only letter that should be written after this podcast is the one dude to the father in law. That's the letter. Yeah, not you, Sean who wants to be with a girl it doesn't want to be with them. Nope, nope, nope.

I'm okay, Parker. We got a couple more, so I'll throw it out to you. New father advice, urgent relationship advice, two country verse two Christian, Canadian boy on his own. Any of those stand out to you, let's do two country verse two Christians. Since we just got done with the relationship two country verse two Christian, here we go. Hey, Grandeer. My name is Natalie and I'm a big fan from Denver, PA.

My best friend and I were supposed to see you in Lancaster six days after PA shut down last March, so we're really hoping that you can make it back to the area soon. First, I want to thank you and Amber and your whole family and brand for being such inspirations. I appreciate you using your platform to honor God and tell others about him. Anyway, to my question, I consider myself a country girl. I love hunting, fishing, pretty much anything outside, and I'm still single. I'm looking

for a country guy with similar interest. My faith is super important to me. Back to relationships that I have a degree in Biblical studies, and I love having deeper conversations about the Bible. My problem is that it always seems like I'm too country for church guys, and two Christian are too good for country guys. I can't seem to find the balance of country and Christian. Whenever I talk about this with other church people, I get the

advice that I'm being too picky. But just as long as a guy truly loves Jesus and is seeking to live for him, that we can make it work. And I shouldn't worry too much about trying to find a country guy. While I agree with that his love for the Lord has to be top priority, I don't agree that that's all I should be looking for. I was wondering what your thoughts are, if you had any advice,

and if your brothers ever experienced a similar problem. They seem to have it all figured out the right balance between country and Christians, So how did they handle it? Thanks so much, Have a great day, Natalie. Two countries, that's interesting. There's two Christians. Yeah, two country for the church guys to Christian for the country guys. The country guys, what since when of the country we don't have any country guys that are Christian. Since when is that? I

know a lot of them. Where is she from pennsylvani No, yeah, Pennsylvania. Then for Pennsylvania. First of all, you should never consider changing who you are for a particular just because you haven't found the person. Yeah, take take away, take away that word picky right there. You said you have people that they give a device that you're being too picky. No, stop that You're perfectly, perfectly reasonable to be picky for picking your soulmate. Yeah, that's the most important. It's the

second most important decision of your life. And I think that's just the first thing that girls go to once they're like twenty four and their friends they're all getting married. Yeah, it's like, maybe I'm too picky, Maybe I'm this, maybe I'm that. It's like, you don't have to It's okay, You're right where you need to be. Imagine yourself. Visualize yourself in the courtroom getting signing those divorce papers and thinking to yourself, I should have been more picky. Yeah,

visualize that, Natalie. Yeah, it's the the grandfather of your grandkids. It's the person you spend your rest of your life with so looking for the grandfather of your grandkids? I like it. Yeah, uh, I think about that sometimes too. It's like when enough time goes by, then you can't help but wonder maybe I am being too specific of what I'm looking for. But I don't know. I just I just feel like when you know, you know, and are you you know? Are you putting yourself in situations

to meet that guy? Like I sent you a video the other day of you know, are you are you going to you know? The are you are you putting yourselves in the right places to meet that guy that

you're talking about? Like I would? I would I would write down what are the non negotiables that I'm looking for in the father of my children and the man that I want to marry and where would that type of man be And not necessarily that you're going to those places looking for him and everything that you're doing, but just having honest conversation with yourself and saying, you know, am I looking in the right places for this? And are you getting out of your comfort zone enough to

put yourself in a position to potentially meet him? Like you're not gonna You're not going to meet you know, your soulmate, sitting on the couch every night, and ever going out and meeting new people and getting involved in your community and serving and going to church and trying out different churches. You're always just one trying one new

coffee shop away from meeting him. Yeah. I've also seen Natalie firsthand that let me say this first, don't compromise on the Christian part, because that's way harder to fix and not your responsibility. But you may be able to compromise on the country part. Let me explain, how country

are you? Yeah, let me explain. I've seen firsthand a lot of friends that are not country at all that when we start here at EE we start introducing them to hunting, fishing, doing things outside, they're like, Wow, this is the lifestyle I could get behind. I love this, I love it. So maybe what I'm trying to say is maybe you find with these guys that's a good guy, a good solid Christian guy, but he wears penny loafers and slacks, and you like everything else about him, and

you're like, why don't you try that? And go, hey, have you ever tried fishing? And he's like not, actually I haven't, And you're like well, I love it. Would you like to go on a date and go fishing and maybe he gets out there and he starts, you know, putting a worm on hook and he catches his first bass and he goes, I actually loved this. I could do this every day. You never know that easily could happen. So that's one area you might be able to compromise.

After a few dates, you'll figure that out. So if you take him fishing and he's like, this is disgusting, get me back to Starbucks so I can have a latte, then you know what you're dealing with. And that's the last day you have with him. But you know what I mean, You can compromise in that area, and you could show a city boy the country and be pleasantly surprised. There's a lot of city boys that get out on a four wheeler and they're like, I'm never going back

to concrete again after this day. This is the most fun I've ever had. You know what. One way that I've met a lot of new people has been going to different churches, and there's just so many different people in churches, especially if you go to Bible studies. It's just so easy to meet people. You and I have lunches with people two or three times a week, meeting new people and with mutual friends. And we was talking

about those weak ties versus the hard ties. Like the hard ties are the people in your life that you see every day that like our family or your best friends. But then there's those weak ties of the people that maybe you've seen once or twice. It's like ask them out to lunch and go and just talk with them, and even if it's just a friend, and then they may have a friend or a friend of a friend, or they may invite you over for cards one night

or something. And just continually putting yourself out there every week and expanding your network. That's how you're going to find him hanging there, Natalie. And we'll see you in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Soon. We'll be back. We're starting to tour up soon we'll be We love to go to Pennsylvania, so maybe we'll see you there. We could talk about this in person. Let's go to another question, and I'm trying to I'm trying to look at where we can go urgent relationship advice.

I mean, should we go there? I mean, or should we try to go to how about this one? How about this one? It says you're a very spiritual man. What are some books you would recommend? Not even just spiritual books, but what are some good books you like to read for life lessons or just to relax or read or whatever. It Maybe we have a reader that's

asking where to consume more books? To Parker on top of your head, where do you think I've been behind in my regular books reading For the last four months, all I've been reading is the Bible morning and night. And I'm trying to finish the New Testament. And now I understand what mom was talking about. And when I'd ask her what her favorite book was, she said the Bible.

I've just been kind of in that recently. But so maybe Miracle Morning if they're asking, yeah, if you're looking for personal development, I think the Miracle Morning changed my life completely for the better. And then maybe we go Jordan Peterson Twelve Rules for Life, since we already talked about it once on this podcast, but it is a staple. It's a little bit of a beast, but it's it's a good read, and it's you asked for is that me? I got a cameo sorry, I have a cameo. That's

my alarm for cameo. So if you if you ever need Oh no, that's not a cameo that's picked the kids up at school. Oh are you supposed to be at the school now? Or is that leave to make a cameo in thirty seven minutes, I got alarms all on my phone. So for cameo, which you can find me at cameo dot com. It's a good plug for the good place for play. Yeah, I got to leave in about just a few more minutes, but plenty of time, plenty of time. I love atomic habits. That's another really

relevant one. Oh I didn't know you read that one. Yeah. I love small habits that compound over time, that change your life. It's something everybody can do on a daily basis. Totally totally. So yeah, there you go, Casey, let's go to I'm gonna go to A Canadian boy on his own, got a few minutes left, It says, Hey Granger, my

name is Noah. I'm from Kenswick, Ontario, Canada. I'm twenty one years old, currently working towards achieving my journeyman ticket and red seal for Local ninety five Heat and Frost Insulators Union. The reason I'm emailing you is because You've always been an inspiration to me and I value your views and opinions very highly. Just recently got kicked out of my house from my family due to disagreements on

certain views. I've been working full time since I was seventeen the Union and in the Union, and earned my high school diploma while doing so. I also hope one day to start my own ranch and hopefully raise my kids on it. My family, however, makes me feel like I'm not going anywhere in life and constantly puts me down. I was wondering if I had any ideas on how to keep my head up and keep striving forward. Your podcast has really helped me through the past month when

I'm feeling down and not appreciated. From North of the Border. Ye yee cheers, Noah. Thanks Thanks for that, Noah, and shout out to Ontario North of the Border. Brene Brown comes to mind as another author going back to the book question and what's that? What's Brene's like big book that we all read about being vulnerable? I don't know, I can't remember. Well, then it comes up great for

Noah here Noah, you are. You're not alone, man, And and this is unfortunately such a common, common question and common problem that people run into. And I'm sure, let me see, I'm looking this up. There's Daring Greatly. Yeah, Daring greatly. Look up Daring Greatly. Brene Brown. That's b R E. N E. It's a great book, and it's it's for people like you, Noah, that are feeling like you're being constantly put down and don't really fit in,

which is also what I love. By the way of YE Nation, that people like you know fit into ee nation. You're with us. So if your family's kicking you out and putting you down and making you drag, remember that you're still part of our family, and you're part of the EEG nation, and you're part of a group that thinks like you and acts like you. And remember that you're part of that family. I hate that you're so young and you're dealing with this, but it sounds like

you've got a lot going on. Man. You're in the Union, you got your high school diploma while working. You're twenty one years old, and what you seem like you have a lot going on except for your family support. So this is the harder way to answer this question. Give them grace, give them space, don't worry about them, but don't be argumentative with them, Like don't go in and go you don't understand me, You'll never understand me. Just go, hey, guys,

it's noah. I know that you don't understand me that well, but I just want to tell you that I love you guys no matter what. Because you're a family. It's really hard to argue that. It's really hard to get mad at that and just be be yourself. This this has kind of been the theme of this podcast today is be yourself, don't try to don't try to fit in.

That's unfortunate. Shame on your family for kicking you out, and I know that you miss them, but you're not the first one to go out on this journey alone from your family. We think part that's tough. I think it depends on the reasons that you're being kicked out. It's hard to tell, again from us not having all of the the context. But like Granger said, I think you know, having the wherewithal to ask yourself genuinely, what

is this worth it of? You know, potentially potentially who knows how long of this disagreement between you and your family that's separating you. You know, family can be so important in life, and I can't imagine what you're going through. But then ask is it over politics? Is it over something trivial, or is it something super substantial that's like

life changing. It's hard for me to say without having context, but potentially being the bigger man and saying, you know, I love you guys even though we disagree on this topic or that topic, or maybe it's maybe it's everything. Could you could you could go on a path and try to prove them wrong. It says your family's always trying to tell you that you're nothing. Prove them wrong. Well, yeah, make that your energy, make that your focus. Yeah. If

that's the case, then do it all. I'll love love you guys, but I gotta do what's best for me. We're running out of time here, no, but I appreciate all you guys for emailing. If you want more Parker, put in the comment section more Parker, More Parker. Send your questions to Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. We'll continue to go through these and discuss them like you can't fire. And if you want to hear more about

ee E day. Go check out the EE podcast. That episode released on Wednesday, and we do them every Wednesday, so you can listen to this every Monday and EE every Wednesday. Love you guys, Yee thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification spell so that you

never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com Yigi