Don’t take this the wrong way

to you. You're just that kind of guy. You're such a good listener, you empathize, you have great advice, which is you know. These are the reasons that I love to have you on this podcast. And I'm glad you're back today because as we go through these people's questions, and that's what the format of this podcast is. If you have anything for us, you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we're going to answer these questions. We do this every Monday. Christian, You're great at it.

You you are one of the pastors at Celebration Church in Georgetown, Texas. That's right. What is your title? Well, I'm the ministry's pastor and ministries ministries pastor and associate campus pastor at the Broadcast campus. So gotcha oversee the Broadcast campus activities on Sunday and throughout the week, and then what we do within our different ministries all at all campuses. So, and you are a bamamn more Eagle War Eagle. That's right. Yeah, we got that straight last time.

This is not a real Tide kind of guy. I like that I relate to War Eagle. Do you see you think you'd be an Auburn fan if you were well, see, I went to Texas A and M okay, and so the way that the state of Texas is split up, there's it's similar with Role Tide and War Eagle and hookm Horns and Gigle Maggie's it's kind of similar. And so you know A and M is the like the agricultural college, you know, and I fill a connection with Auburn in that sense. So I'm gonna take us right

to football. Let's go. I'm gonna take us right to I'm to take us right to SEC football. It's good because we're what a few weeks away, We're so close, We're so close, and so what better way to to start this podcast with a question from you guys once again. Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, Email anything, and this is a football question. It says, Hey, Grangeer and my family and I are big South Carolina game clop fans.

Texas A and M has owned this essince y'all join the SEC unfortunately, but I can't say enough good things about Aggie fans, uh since you guys have joined. It says I have family and walks a hatchee that i've that have and I've never visited, but I have plans to go to the Gamecock game when they play the Aggies and make a big trip out of it for a potential once in a lifetime trip to College Station, Texas. What are the dues and see of an outer towner?

It sounds like I need to go to the Dixie Chicken ironic for when you guys are playing us fighting chickens. It's it's a staple that needs to be checked out. Do you know if I could stay awake? Do you know if I could stay awake these days for the midnight yell or who knows come tailgate with us sometimes in Colombia gocox ee Andy. So my question, I'll kick it to you Christian. First, you have you been to Columbia South Carolina? I haven't. I haven't been to a game,

cup stadium or do their game there. Yeah, I've been to an Auburn an Auburn game, costs game. But yeah, okay, yeah, okay, I've been Auburn. It's it's an awesome town. Yeah, I've been. I've been. I've toured in every SEC town. Oh wow, we've played a show and we've seen most of the stadiums. I've seen Auburn, seen South Carolina, and so I love it.

I love questions like this because what's so cool. What I love about college football is people getting to try and and you're going to support your team, but you're also seeing almost like a new culture. It is. I think from one you know what's interesting is I travel and go to different stadiums. Is what you said. The culture of how their tradition, you know, within from one one team to the next. And I love the community

and the family, dynamic man and just the camaraderie. They're tailgating all of that stuff that goes along with it. So yeah, I love that. I want to I want to encourage everyone listening. Uh, if you if you go to a game, or more importantly, if you're a home team welcoming a visitor, just always welcome them with open arms. It's it just it says so much more about your

school and your town. If you see someone wearing in this case, you know, red and black, and they walk up and red and black and white and you just go, hey, welcome to College Station. Yeah, you know, so so excited to have you guys here. Do you need anything? Let me know if you need any restaurant advice? You know that. That's that goes so so far. Just hospitality, hospital hospitality. Yeah, so Andy, you're you're asking all the right questions. I

think Dixie Chicken would be awesome. It's a it's really old. I say really old. It's nineteen seventies. It's not that old, but iconic and not Yelle is iconic for College Station. So yeah, I think you should stay awake and go do that. And I don't know when that game is, but you should probably bring sunscreen and hydrate before you go because it's college Station, Texas. A's hot. It's the South. Yeah, man, thanks for emailing. I hope you guys have fun. And

for all the other schools, out there excited about the season. Yeah, really excited. So at this point, Christian, I'm going to start knocking out some of these questions, and I don't really have an order on how deep they are, so we might we might go right in to something super deep, but I kind of want to. I want to read some of the titles to you and see if any

of them stand out to you. Something's missing, Family dilemma, friendship, FRIM, friendship question, Monster in Law, relationship advice, help, being a new dad, any of this to the friendship friendship question, the one that I stumbled over, says, Hey, Granger, I've been struggling with some friendships lately where I currently live, and it seems like everyone who's called themselves my friend

isn't there when I need someone to talk to. I'm actually moving to Austin, Texas soon, and I've considered reaching out to a local Facebook group to try to make some new friends down there virtually and then hopefully meet some of them in person when I move. I really need some new friends, but I don't want to sound desperate.

Any advice. Brittany. Brittany works out great that she's moving Austin, Moving Austin because we could direct her very specifically, very specifically to celebration dot Church where there's some incredible people, great small groups. But you know, Brittany, as I heard that, I think it's important that you set. I think in our relationships and in our friendships, we've got to have clear expectations, healthy expectations on what we expect out of

certain relationships. Is there's some people it's Granger set at the top of this video. There's some people you bring in real close, and there's some people you can share anything with. But then there are some that you know, just it's just important to have realistic expectations on what that relationship is. And I would ask the question, are you perhaps putting unrealistic expectations on all of those relationships?

Interesting because you know, I don't have the capacity to be extremely close to a lot of people, do any of us? Yeah? Right? Yeah? So thinks that we should be friends with four hundred and seventy three people, right, It says that right on our Facebook profile. So the world expects that, isn't that our friends? Yeah? And then you think, of course not, of course it's not four hundred friends. It's a third of that. Yeah, right, what, Yeah, it's still too many. It's still still too many. Yeah,

it's still too many. So I just I mean you, Brendan again, I hate that you're struggling in this area, but just you know, find some Just find a great group of people, whether it's a Facebook friend group, a local church, a gym, you know, like that's kind of good group fitness, and latch onto two or three people and the poor into that relationship and let them pour back into you. Absolutely, wouldn't you say that there's we we kind of take pride. It's such a terrible word. Pride.

We take pride in how many friends I think that we have when in reality two or three, two or three, Yeah, really really good friends are so much more valuable than twenty three twenty four. Yeah, close friends. I agree. I think there's a difference between friendships and council So I think I need more than two or three councils in my life, like wise counsel, someone in investing me and helping me with my family, with finances, with my job, just wise counsel. But I can't be extremely close to

all of those individuals. Yeah, you know, so lower your expectations with what you're expecting to get out of it, lower your expectations on how many you're expecting to have according to what the world thinks that you should have. And when you move to Austin. First of all, I don't know if the Facebook group before you move virtually,

I don't know if that matters. Maybe set a couple of things up, but what's really going to matter is when you actually move to kind of implant yourself a Christian seid of gym is a great thing, or any other hobby that you have. Of course, we're going to recommend Celebration church. There's a central location in Austin. That's that. The central location of Celebration churches is great because it's

much smaller and much more intimate. How many people are in that congregation about two hundred and fifty about two hundred and fifty and that's a good night. Yeah, yeah, that's on a yeah, that's on as average attendants, adults attendants. But this is probably made up with maybe four hundred people. But not everybody comes every Sunday exactly. So Brittany, you do that, We're going to see you there, yes, you know, So there's that I want to be your friend Brittany. Yeah. Yeah,

so thank you for emailing such a great question. Was there was there a new dad question? Yeah, memory, we'll see where it was at being being a new dad, says Hey Granger. First of all, I just want to thank you for all your videos that you'll put out. Marshall from Tacoma, Washington. My son recently turned one and I love him to death, but I'm struggling with getting down and playing with him and being active with him. I just feel like I'm talking and playing with myself

seeking advice. Thank you, Marshall from the Tacoma That's a good question. It's a good question. I felt like that. I have felt like that, and I understand the sentiment that Marshall has here because you're playing with a one year old and you're like, well, I'm playing because I'm supposed to be playing and I'm a dad. But is this kid getting anything out of what we're doing? Yeah, the answers yes, I would agree. Yeah. I think it's it's proximity, you know, it's just the the It's about

just being close to your son. Although you might be trying to play with the ball with him and he may never remember that. Moment, or you're watching TV with him or whatever it is that a one year old, I don't know what a one year old does. I have teenagers now, so it's been quite a while, but I think it's important that you're spending time together just because you're there's a bond that's happening. Yeah, that proximity, being close, repetition, just your son constantly seeing your face,

knowing your voice, knowing your smell. You know, Hey, yeah, I think that's that's such a good point. And see, Marshall, we're almost going to say the same things we did with the last question. Lower your expectation and again you know we were expectations on what what you're you're expecting to get out of this moment from you because you you to get down on this one year old's level. It could be as easy as and did you say

it's a boy or girl son? Yeah? Son, So it's as easy as picking him up, taking him outside of any and walk them by the leaves of a tree. And there's the leaves and put the leaves in reach of your son where he could just touch the leaves and pull him in and put him on his mouth, you know, and it's as easy as that. You don't have to play checkers, or you know, you don't have to. You don't have to get blocks and build stacks. You

could just walk outside to a tree. And this is not only building this bawd with your son, but it's also it's cultivating the love that you have for him too. As you think, oh, I would agree. I would agree because you're getting it's an intimate of clobes, those personal thing that you're able to see your son. You know, last week he didn't notice the leaves on the tree, but this week he notices the leaves on the tree.

He notices the texture, and he notices the fill and the smell and the So it's you getting just really that front row seat and watching your watching your son grow up and mature. The thing about being a new dad is that you can't see you're you're in the trenches now and you can't see from from the outside looking in that this this son there, your boy is going to change every month and they're and that it changes drastically. I mean, at one he's going to be walking.

If he's not already walking, he's walking any day now. And then he's going to be talking, and then he's going to be a toddler and he's going to be on the go, and then he's going to be in kindergarten and you, Brent blink and I he's gonna be ready for middle school. I would say, cherish these moments, cherishing, cherish because they grow up fast. Yeah, it's hard to do it. Text takes patience and discipline. But just just know at the end of this, just know you're doing

the right thing by just spending some time with him. Yeah, so good, we got time. Not got a few more before the break. We have something's missing, family dilemma, monster in law. I need relationship advice. Let's do something's missing, Something's curious. Curiosity's got the best of me. I grangered. My name is Zach. I'm from Laramie, Wyoming. I'm twenty one years old, a junior at the University of Wyoming

study studying wildlife biology and management Go Pokes. I have a steady job as an eighty A shuttle driver, and I have great grades. In my free time, I'm going fishing and camping. But I can't get past the feeling that something is missing. I've been trying to find the right girl, but I can't seem to get past the first couple of dates. I try to be a gentleman, open car doors, buy flowers, come up with unique date ideas, but somewhere I'm going wrong and it's hard being let down.

I understand I'm still young, I have plenty of time, but I just want to hear your input on what I could do differently or how to approach this in a different way. Thanks for your time, ye Zach. Yeah, man, Zach, I just want to just kind of affirm the season of life that you're in. You're twenty one, you're in college, you feel like something's missing. I can remember being that age in my early twenties, and I felt like I

should be doing more. Yeah, like you know, like I felt like because I have friends that were graduating college or they were going into their profession, or even some that were getting married. And so, Zach, I think it's really you're in that season of life that you feel like, Okay, I'm no longer I'm no longer a kid now I'm an adult, but you're still a very young adult. So I would encourage you, man, just as it relates to the feeling of something missing. Just enjoy this season, finish school,

finish strong. But then there's another another part to that, and started talking about dating and girls not being able to get through the next couple of dates or the first couple of dates. Rather, Man, I don't know, grangeery, let you do. Yeah to that point. First of all, what you said is great. I remember being twenty one like it was yesterday. I was single, by the way zat at that age, and I remember thinking similar thoughts, like, man, it'd be kind of cool to have a girlfriend. Yeah,

you know, it seems like everybody else does. And I think to speak to something, to speak to you saying what's wrong with me? It's kind of what you're saying. Yeah, you're saying your tritless stuff, what's wrong with me? I'm going to say right now that all of those things that you're doing don't matter. They don't reflect who you are. You if you had changed the way you opened the door, or maybe a different bouquet of flowers, or maybe you had a more unique idea for a date, that wouldn't

have mattered. The girls that weren't interested just weren't interested in you for none of those other reasons, but because it didn't work with you. Yeah, it's not a knock on you. We're just some people are are attracted to people for certain reasons. It's gotta be a good fit. If you had to come up with a more unique data idea, you just would have tricked her for a few more you know, if you had forgotten to open the car door or bought a different kind of flowers,

you just would have tricked. Here's what my dad would tell me. Experience doesn't replace chemistry. So all that dating advice like, well, you can have the best data ideas, but there's no chemistry. There's no chemistry summed everything. Potentially, eventually, you know, you're going to run out of experiences, you know, and so if there's no chemistry there, that's that sums it up, Zach. Experience cannot replace chemistry, and that's actually

the better word. Chemistry is the better word than attraction. So you either have chemistry or you don't. And if you're truly interested in having a girl, yeah, there's nothing terribly wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. But that just means keep trying, and here we go again. Lower your expectations on what you're trying to get out of a first date. That's right, and you're twenty one, Like it's that feeling of like I feel like I

should be now. I need to be working on marriage, like finding that woman that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. And you're still really young, So give yourself a little bit of a break, you know, Like, it's okay, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Brother, you have so much time. That doesn't mean you can't find your future wife tomorrow, but you might find her

in seventeen years. How does that make you feel? You know, if I tell you that at twenty one that you might not find her for another twenty one years, maybe that could be that could give you a lot of anxiety, or that could just give you a lot of peace. Going well, it's time to focus on my career and my friends. And it sounds like you got a lot going on. You're in college, you have a wild ife biology major, you're working on what a fun what a fun major? You got good grades, you got a good job.

So that the something's missing thing I think, if I was going to pinpoint what's missing is your expectations are a little too high for looking around and saying I wish I had a girlfriend right now, so appreciate the email. Buddy. Let's let's get knocked out one more. It'll do a break sure, and then I'll get your water because I promised you water. I forgot, but I'm good. I'm sure you are true for a bit. Thank you Christian for

driving over here. I know, but oh man, this is not the easiest place in the middle of nowhere to come to for a podcast, So it's thank you man. It's worth it to these listeners. You guys comment below how much you love Christian too. If you're on YouTube, do you have an idea of where you want to go next year? Yeah? I'm sorry. Read the subjects. Yeah, family dilemma, monster in law, relationship advice, help, questions, I need to know grief. Let's do monster in law just

because because I keep paying it, bait. I'm trying to keep this short, but my mother in law chain smokes all day every day. I don't know if I've ever seen her without a cigarette in hand. I have two year old and one on the way, and my husband doesn't see the issue with her having an effect on our children. He's never seen my side of it. And she smokes it. She's been smoking inside her house for twenty plus years. All I ask is that she comes to our home, sees our children and says And my

husband doesn't say that I'm picking on her anymore. Well, my mother in law, my mother in law and I haven't gotten along since the birth of my second son. I have never kept him from seeing her. How do I have a convo with him before our newborn is born without it causing more issues? I'd like to stay anonymous. I'm from Virginia. That's kind of a difficult one as you're dealing with a mother in law. That's difficult right

on the day. But it's interesting because I think the in law is choosing to make She has the right to make her own decisions. Yeah, and unfortunately, you know, chain smoking is not a good not a good choice for your health. But I feel like as an adult, you have to respect that and like, you can't. You can't force change on someone, you know, you can't force

her to see the way you see it. Yeah. Now, if she's changed smoking in front of the children, that's a whole you know, in the same room, and that's a whole nother dynamic. Yah, but we're just talking about someone who's choosing to do something that's unhealthy. I guess the question I would ask, what would the conversation? What are you trying to accomplish by having this conversation with

your with your husband? So let's dig in it says, I have a two year old and one of the way, my husband doesn't see the issue with her habit affecting our children. He never sees my side of it. When she also smokes inside her house and she has her twenty plus years. So she says, all I ask is that she comes to our house to see our children. Let me read it like she said it, all all, all this this is from Virginia, is that she comes to our house to see our children. And he says,

I'm picking on her. So this is this is boiling down to communication between her and her husband. And that's really the bottom line of this whole question. I mean, none of us have a question about is cigarette smoked bad? I will say that that people grew up for generations breathing it in. Man, you know what I mean. I grew up my grand Both of my grandparents changed smoked and they had a white ceiling, and uh, next to my grandfather's chair, there was a yellow ring almost ceiling

where he would just sit and the smoke would just yeah. Yeah, I mean like you would have to fight a cloud of smoke to go in their home. Yeah. I remember my grandpa. He always got up really early, you know, at five in the morning. He would go in there and drink a cup of coffee and smoke a cigarette or chain smokes cigarettes and think about the hard day that he was about to have, you know. Yeah. And so as a little kid, I remember waking up. Little kids get up early, and I'd go in there and

just sit in there with him. And I don't remember anyone worrying about me being around that, And I don't Maybe i'd be a better human if I didn't smell that at the time. I don't know, but I don't think it affected me. And I don't want to undermine the email here of a mother that's actually concerned about her kids. Yeah, because the truth is is it does have a negative it and of course it does, you know, But what this really boils down to is a conversation

with your husband. And so you're asking, how do I have a convo with him before our knewborn was born. Well, if you sit down and say, babe, can I talk to you about something, something that's really on my heart and you have to be you have to empathize with him. It's his mama. You're talking about his mama, and he's been around in his whole life. Nothing wrong with it. Now on on his side, he needs to have an allegiance to you. That's hiring his mama. We get that,

so we're not questioning that either. But if you come in being vulnerable, empathizing with him that this is his mother we're talking about as kind as you can be, regardless of how he reacts to it, and you just say, babe, I talk to you about something with this baby on the way. I was wondering if we could. It really

bothers me if our kids are around smoke. It doesn't bother me that they're around your mother, because I want him to have this grandmother relationship that just the cigarettes thing. Can you talk to her about it? Maybe we could just cut back a little bit, or or we could be outside a little bit more when she's playing with them. But anyway, come to the table with empathy. I think that's the key is the way you said it is I want them to be around your mother. I just

don't want them to be around the smoke. So you have to you got to make sure you you just communicate. There's a difference there because it's so easy to say I don't want them to go around your mother because she smokes. Yeah, Like do you hear and when you hear that right, like, well, no, you just said I don't want you to be I don't want to be around your mother. So you've got to make sure you just communicate, isn't it to your point earlier on, it's

it's all about communication. Yeah, it's funny. I was talking to Amber earlier today and with all these questions, thousands of questions, there's like five or six answers for all of them. It's you need Jesus need communication, you need patience, clear contentment, you need clear expectations. You know, there's like six answers and this one is uh and and all of them were almost all of them combined at some level.

But this is this is a conversation question. That's about communication, and we should all be able to communicate with those around us that we love in a way where there is we're not attacking them, and you have to be have to be aware that when you start the conversation, you're not attacking or or defending yourself because these are his kids too, for sure, so you have the motherly instinct, but you're also these are his kids, and you guys

both have a say once. I can't I can't repeat enough that christ and I are not advocating that it's okay for kids to be around cigarette smoke. But I'm just trying to I'm trying to diminish that that's not

the true problem. It sounds like here, yeah, I think, and I read one on this podcast recently where it was like the same thing, but the grandmother was giving the kids candy too much, and so it's like the same thing where it's I need to talk to the husband about why why they're giving them candy too much. That's so it's like cigarettes and candy aren't the problem, it's communication. Thank you for this email. We're gonna take a quick break. I'm gonna get Christiana water. We'll be

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Don't miss out on this limited time offer Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary. So this is episode ninety five, and for episode one hundred, the plan is to do like an all star around table. So I have Pastor Chad from First Baptist, my friend Bernie, you

and Amber. That's kind of my thought. We'll just kind of go around this table and it's kind of a lot of different perspectives and very wise counsel and I think it'd be so cool for the episode one just to and I could just I'll just kind of host it and just kick it around. That'd be great, Okay, what a fun thing. Yeah, I don't know. I don't Actually, Amber might not, she'll be she will just pop out a baby. So yeah, so Pastor Christian back today. You're

such a such a good listener. Man, it's such good advice still And part of the reason I even part of the idea behind this podcast of answering question is I have a few people in my life that I feel so blessed to be able to bounce off things with, and I realize that not everyone has that immediately around them, and so with this podcast, it really kind of opens up that the communication with different people that would get access to you. And you probably don't think that. I

know you don't think that, but it's true. Yeah, well, man, thanks for having me. It's fun being here, is fun doing this, and I'm just glad I can give that. Heck. Yeah, so digging in here, I'm gonna I'm gonna go down from the bottom up. Now we have podcast question hunting if life advice regarding lack of relationships bring you that one that one yeah, yeah, okay, says please keep my

name anonymous. I have family members that watch this podcast, so that's all I'll say about that, says Hattie Granger. I'm from Michigan, been a huge fan of yours for seven years. I met you three times over the years, and I've seen you in concert twice. I can't wait for those days to come back when I could to see you again. My question is this, I'm in my

early thirties. I've never been in a relationship. I tend to be pretty shy at first with anybody, but I open up and act like a total goof when I'm comfortable with them. I do have social anxiety, and I've never known what to say to a girl to keep a conversation going. I don't know how to approach a girl, how to make her enamored with me. I do work out, try to take care of myself, and I have a good career in the military, but nothing seems to matter.

I've even tried the dating app stuff for a while. I've never had a match the whole time i've had it. I have felt for a long time that I won't ever get the blessing of spending my time and life with a girl. And I'm only getting older without giving you my whole life story, in every tiny detail. What do you think I could do? I know the whole in God's time and leave it in God's hands. But humans are meant to spend their life with others, and I've been alone and lonely for a very long time.

On a side note, I've talked to a mental health advisor just before to see what I should do or how to talk to friends. Thank you for all that you do. Ye ye wow. Similar to the to a previous question, but we're a completely different age bracket, right, and and they're coming at it from a different place. Yeah, it sounds like this guy, you know it is as he's more realistic, He's got realistic expectations and you know

what grand jury. As you were reading that, I was just reminded how you know, we go throughout our every day and we never know what someone else is struggling with and what someone else is going true and man, so as I heard that, I just I don't know who you are, but hopefully you're hearing this. We just we empathize with you that that's a real struggle. You know, you're in your late thirties and I have yet to meet the love of your life, for the person you're

going to spend the rest of your life with. One is I want to just say, what kudos to you for reaching out for help. As you were reading that, I was immediately what I was thinking this, you know that maybe could this guy benefit from some from some life coaching. But you reached out, says you reached out to a mental health professional, and I think that's man. I admire that. I appreciate you. I mean, I'm just glad that you did that. Hopefully they're going to be

able to help you if there's anything there. But you know, as it relates to women and dating apps and different things like that, do you know what you know what women? I feel like women are attracted to the most. I don't think it's looks. I don't think it's money. I think it's confidence, not pride, not arrogance, but just being confident,

confident in who who you are. Yeah, maybe no matter what you look like, no matter what background you come from, no matter what education you have, but you're just confident in who you are. And so if I could give you any advice and that would be learned to be confident in who you are, and you know how to do that exactly what he wrote in this email to me. This email to me says, I'm confident and who I am. Here's who I am. I'm a fan of Granger Smith for seven years. I in my early thirties. I do

have social anxiety. I'm not sure how to keep a conversation going with a girl. I work out, I take care of myself. I have a good career in the military. I've tried the whole dating app. Like what you laid out here was vulnerable and honest, and that equals confidence. Confidence is not of lack of vulnerability or over compensation. Confidence is I will not stutter when I tell you who I am. Yeah, he's very clear on who he is,

and I think that's good. That's really important. Yeah, yeah, this is actually a great pitch on a first date. I would agree. And I think you're probably father alone than you think you are. Yeah, like very few people. There's very few emails you get that people articulate themselves that way, you know, like that this is who I am. Yeah. I mean imagine sitting at dinner with a girl and say it's a first date and you're kind of going through the surface level who are you? You know, where

are you from? And I think that's the time to just go you know what, can I tell you something kind of strange? But I just have a little bit of social anxiety and I've never really known how to keep a conversation going with a girl. You say that to a girl, I'm telling you, they'll lean in, lean in, They're like, Okay, this guy, he's not he's not playing around. He knows who he is and he's vulnerable. Yeah, and

that's important to a woman. It's a girl in the right place at the right time, who's going to go. Don't worry about it. I'll keep the conversation going. You don't have to say anything. Yeah, I would agree, that's yeah, you're Sometimes sometimes I read these emails and I think, man, are we putting out too much on social media about how you're supposed to be? Oh? I think for sure. I think there's this image that we portray as both men and women. We know this on who were You know,

what does the ALFML look like? What is the image that he's supposed to be? How's he supposed to act, how's he supposed to talk? What he's supposed to look like? And you know, and any mature woman would tell you that, you know, those looks fate and they're not what's important. At the end of the day. It's not about how you look, how you talk, how you walk. It's about who you are, so right, it's about who you are as a person. And uh, and I would take this

second to last paragraph you're talking about. You say, I know the whole in God's time and leaving God's hands. I would build it. I build this into your prayer. And I would say, thought as if almost if David was, you know, writing a song, and I would say, God, where are you? Because I know I'm supposed to leave it in your hands? And that's what I'm doing. But I don't hear anything. And I know you tell me that man's not so he's supposed to be alone, But

here I am. I'm alone. I'm alone. Yeah, will you help me understand this? Make that into your prayer? What's the value in my loneless like? Because it was God? What do you teaching? That's what you want? Are you showing? Where's the value in this pain? If you will this loneliness? That what Christ is saying is the next level of maturity And a prayer is when the first level is God, why am I alone? And the second level is God, I'm alone? What do you need me to learn from this? Yeah?

So good, great question, buddy, And uh, Yeah, our hearts go out to you. I think you're you're you're saying and doing all the right things. And when I see you next time in a meet and greet at a show in Michigan, I want you to come hug my neck and say, Hey, I'm the guy. I'm the anonymous guy. Yeah, yeah, I am the guy. Let's do a Let's lighten it a little bit and do this one. It says hunting. Hey,

I'm Braiden from Arkansas. I want to know what your favorite big game to hunt, and Braiden, I I have ever done any crazy, serious big game Alaska Montana hunt. I've dreamed about going on an l hunt touring. Usually at work usually holds me out of that. So I have shot a mule deer in Mexico, which is the biggest game hunt I've ever done, and then a lot of white tail and I would love to continue that, you know, and explore other options. But man, I just

I love white tail deer. That's where I grew up and with my dad and my brothers. So I have such a such fond memories of being in the outdoors and being in nature and regardless of what we got. So how about you Christian. Yeah, I'm just not that. My dad wasn't a hunter, so I mean, I'm sure I grew up hunting white tail deer and all that in Alabama, but not a big game. Never been on a big game trip. Would love to go. Takes a lot of yeah, yeah, and it's usually a lot of travel,

a lot of travel, a lot of time off work. Yeah, I'd love to go. There's not a particular game that I'm just if if you just asked me right now, what would that kill? What would you want that kill to be? I don't I don't have I mean, you know, you always think about going to Safari, you know, going to Africa and hunting whatever all things over there. But yeah, I wish I could give you a better answer to that. The one thing if you could say, all right, money

doesn't matter, time doesn't matter. There's the doll sheep in the Northwest Territory of Canada, and to get there you have to be flown in, dropped off. It's like a nine day hunt. It's like you and one or two other guys, ye, and you walk for miles and miles through this just incredible northern territory and the odds of getting a sheep or like one in fifty you might go for nine days. More than likely you'll go for nine days and not get anything, but just being in

those elements. And I have a buddy that did this, and he just told stories of what it does to you in terms of your gratefulness for a chair or a candy bar, or spaghetti dinner, or a nice sleep without rain and cold. It's just it's it's truly tribal for a man to go into a territory with no cell phone service and no amenities and no immediate food source.

I would agree. So usually once or twice a year, my dad and my brothers we get together and we'll meet up somewhere and we'll spend four or five days backpacking, just trekking, no cell service. Where do you guys go? Most recently we went to North Georgia, to the southern tip of the Appalachian Mountains. So what time of year do you do? In the fall? In the fall, we were too hot, or we always go in the fall. As a matter of fact, we were just talking last night.

I was on the phone with my dad and we were trying to figure out where's that week going to be? This fall. We're all busy and traveling. But but yeah, but to your point though of just being away, no seale service, the disconnect and just it's very majestic. Yeah, but imagine the one and fifty chance, Like, what a small percentage if you do get that game, What a small percentage you are on the planet that's had that opportunity.

What a cool opportunity. Yeah, there's probably a short list of the men that have ever been able to kill that yeah game, you know, Yeah, and you could see it, you know, you see it in your binoculars. And then you'll start a journey after this this one ram and he's always putting the same distance away from you as you're putting towards him, and you could spend days going after one he'll talk to the next, and then you can just you realize, it's day eight. I got to

get back to the plane. I'm not going to get to him. That's it. Yeah, wow, Yeah, thanks for the question, Brandon. Let's go back to you. Christian family dilimma relationship advice. Help help help us, says here says, good morning. I don't know who else I talk to, it says March of twenty twenty, I left work for doctor's orders to health reasons and COVID. After thirty three years, they let me go May first. I was blindsided. They made it

so I can't claim unemployment. I prayed for God to point me in the right direction, asked him to show him show me the next job. In July, my buddy's wife passed away and she ran his contractor business. I went in two weeks later and started helping him until I found a job he liked how I took over and got the bills paid, closing his wife's business and handling all the things with her death. He told his accountant that he wanted me on his payroll. That was August.

Since then, he has paid me three times. I need to tell him I need regular pay, but I don't know how to approach it. I've asked him a couple times, but I don't know if he's forgotten or what I was making really good money a year down and God bless my wife, or understanding. But I need to figure out how to talk to him about this. Any advice. I love listening to you on your podcast. God bless

you and your family. What a tough corbo you gotta have, But I think it's a pretty straightforward conversation when you're granger like, it's not personal. It's just this kind of goes you know, the woman that that was smoking cigarettes and the daughter in law needs to talk, and it goes back to there's only six or seven answers to thousands of questions, and you know, you know you were put you were put in this situation. You were you

were a blessing to their family. So I think if you're having hesitations of bringing it up because of the death of his wife, you also have to see that you've been a blessing to their family, and there should be no reason why he shouldn't be putting you on this payroll, especially if you want the job. Maybe and then this all comes down to communication. Maybe he doesn't know if you were just helping or you actually do

what's right, want the job. That's I'd just sit him down and say I would set out a time where you say, hey, man, quick, crap lunch on Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think a good way to start that conversation is going into the conversation let him know what this is not. This conversation is not personal. This conversation is not me being ungrateful for the opportunity you've already given me. This conversation is literally just about me providing for my family.

And so we had, you know, and you bring up the fact we had a conversation about me coming on your payroll. I just need a straightforward answer. Is that something that's going to happen in the near future? And if not, I've got to find someone's going to provide

for my family. If I was listening to this podcast and and I wrote this email and it says good morning, I don't know who else to talk to, that's how he starts it, I would pause this podcast right now and I'd go back to what Christian just said about how to start the conversation, to what this conversation is not. I think that is so wise. I would literally write

that down what you said. Yeah, I think too often grainer in conversations, and you can it can be a conversation with your spouse, with a family member, with a coworker. We're all we don't communicate well, we were misunderstood, and I think sometimes we think we make things turn into a big deal that didn't need to be a big deal. I think I struggle sometimes with my communication to certain individuals,

so I'm always want to be clear and direct. Hey, this is not what I'm saying, although I don't know how to fully articulate it, because my feelings are involved, because his feelings are involved in he probably feels taken advantage of, he feels overlooked. And so to tell you that your feelings aren't involved there, they're involved, They're fully there,

they're they're there. So what I know that I'm going into a conversation that is my feelings are involved, or I've been hurt, or I'm hurting, or I'm just emotional. Like I'm very clear on the front end, like, hey, look, this is not what I'm trying to say, although it may creep in there a little bit, but it's not my heart, you know. Yeah, I think I think there is there's nothing wrong with just being totally open in

a conversation. And here we go again with this being vulnerable thing, just just being vulnerable and just saying I'll be honest with you. I've struggled with setting up this conversation because I'm I'm worried that you might get the

wrong impression. Worried that I might say the wrong thing, because the truth is, Buddy, I love you and your wife, and I hurt for you that you lost her, and I want to help with the business, but I also have my own family and I need this paycheck, and I need you to tell me if this is something long term or if I need to go somewhere else. And I don't want I don't want you to take it the wrong way. Yeah, and this is this is like one lunch and it takes thirty minutes. You could

have all of this ease your mind. You don't have to email the podcast and say I don't know else to talk to, you know, to have communication guys. Yeah, yeah, let's see you pick one. You want me to pick one, Okay, I'm going to go with a podcast question like the generic one. Yeah you know says Hello. My name is William. I'm from Plano, Texas. I'm seventeen going on eighteen, and I want to tell you how much of a blessing you are to me and my family. I love your music,

I love Yeee apparel. I'm going to become a United States Marine when I graduate from high school. And I can't wait to be a husband and a father someday. Here's my question, what's the best part of about being a father and what's the best advice you could give about fatherhood and husbandhood as a Christian? Love and christ William the best part about being a father. I think before we even start, we have to say this question

is coming a little early for him. It is coming earl of the What are what like a seventeen year old? Are you thinking about that? What a solid guy? Yeah? Yeah, absolutely absolutely, He's about to serve our country. Man. I'm so I'm so proud, so proud for you. You're becoming a marine. You've got a lot going on. Your head is just on straight, asking great questions, ending it with love and christ and you're you're excited about being a

husband and a father. So with all that, I would say, at the same time, let's go back to what Christian I were saying to a lot earlier and just kind of lower expectations automatically on what that could mean for you, because you don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. No, you don't know. You may get married in five years and have a baby, or you might not. As you if you've listened to this podcast, so far. You know that there's people that have gone a long time without

any of that. And but what you do have right now is this, this path to the Marine Corps, and this is going to take you on an incredible journey, maybe even around the world. And and so although I'm definitely gonna answer your question, I don't want you to worry about this. I would agree. But but the best part about being a father is it's a it's a that's a broad question. But the fact that you're you're leaving this world one day with an imprint of you,

this is just profound. Is for me, It's it's what I'm entrusted with. Yes, for me, it's like I'm entrusted to steward three lives. Yes, to teach them, direct them, coach them, bother them, parent them, love on them, discipline them. That's the best part of it. Yeah, there you're molding a clay, Like you said, Yeah, there's so much fulfillment,

life fulfillment in that. And that when you go through life and you're treading through and you you make mistakes and then you do things that are good and you you store those thoughts away in your mind and you go man I'm messed up, and I want to make sure that how do I how do I instill this in my kids that that this is this wasn't a good decision that I made or man, I really got I got so much out of this. How do I instill in my kids that this is important for them too?

And then most importantly above all that is Christians. You know, there's Christians. The Bible talks a lot about being parents and being fathers, and and our job is to steward them towards Christ, to lead them to Jesus, because because we're called to minister to the world, but it starts in our own homes and it starts with our kids. And and so what a what an epic responsibility? Uh that is? And that is something that you have to look forward to, William, And let me let me go

here now. But I'll say a big giant butt and everything we've just said this is going to start with with your future wife. And she is going to be a partner in this, and she's going to either make this very difficult for you or very comforting and easier for you. So so put your focus on her first. That's the most important decision. Yeah, put your focus on her first, outside of outside of choosing to follow Christ. That is the second most important decision you'll ever make

in your life, and then it will impact you. I mean has a tremendous empoct obviously, Yeah yeah, but uh man congure outs on anything Buddy and raw Marine Corps. Let's let's grab one more Christian. We have one time for one more if you do, if you're cool, good, you want to hit this family dilemma. These kids to keep saying it. It's right at the top of the email chain now says hey, Grade your longtime listener and fan. I currently live in South Austin, Man. That's number two

for us today on this podcast in Austin eight. But we actually met a few years ago when you did an appearance on CBS Sports to promote a new album in Earl's diplom and pick them my dilemma. I've been married to my husband for four years now. We have a two year old daughter. We're wanting to start our own family traditions and to do things on our own, just the three of us. But my mom is having a hard time with the idea that this includes doing

our own thing for the holidays. My husband has had a dream ever since he was little to take his future wife and kids skiing on a trip for Christmas. I side with my husband and he is now my priority. But my question is how do I effectively communicate this with my mom so that she isn't always so upset by this. We have already tried to compromise and do Christmas with her at a different time, but she would rather us mix the trips or push them back to

match her schedule. We don't have a big family, and big family Christmases have never been really a part of our family, but the past two years she's been trying to make them a thing. I appreciate you and your help. Yeah, we have a theme, we do. We have a theme. We have a communication theme. Yeah, you know. I think you run into that. You see this a lot in a lot of family dynamics, don't you grangeur? You see how you have in laws or or a mom in this case is not even an in law, it's her

own mother. I think I think too often within our family dynamic, like we give mother in laws or even parents a little too much weight into like how we're going to do say we're gonna do holidays and things like that, Like, because I have friends that they have the same dilemma, and I'm thinking to myself, but it's your You're responsible for your immediate family, and what you choose to do with your immediate family is not a

reflection of that. You don't want to be with your in laws or you don't want to be with your mother and dad, but it is your responsibility to create those traditions with them. Absolutely, And so I think it's a direct it's just a conversation. Yeah, I totally agree you you did she say your name? She didn't, so I won't say it. But she she's saying all the right things and just needing affirmation from us that she is doing the right thing. And this is a this

is a conversation that might not be easy. These none of these in this podcast, so they will be easy. Don't don't expect them to Just the person that you're talking to you to go cool, No problem, that's right. But here we go again. This is the sixth answers to two thousand questions. Be vulnerable, be honest, be forthcoming, and everything. Like Christen said, tell her the things that this conversation is not. This is not about our lack

of love for you, mom. This isn't not wanting to be with you for the holidays, This isn't disrespecting your traditions. But what this is is establishing our core family. We're still a young you guys are You have a young family, a two year old daughter. That's it. And so this is establishing some some really important memories as a family. And it's also fulfilling your husband's dream that he wanted to do since he was a little kid. You don't want to take that away from him, something he's always

to do. You didn't say this, and I don't want to step over the line here, but asking the mother to come on the ski trip could be a nice little babysitter. If you guys want to go out and get a dinner one of those nights and whever your ski town is, you have a little date night. Because mom's going to be with the with the two years, that sounds like a pretty good deal. She might not go for it, You might not even want it. But I'm throwing it out there, but this is this is

really cut and dry. The decision is easy, the conversation is hard. That's right, And I think to the point when I said, don't give her too much weight, like have be okay that she may not be okay with the decision, like don't don't allow it to don't allow it to weigh you down that much, because really you're responsible for yourself, perfect man, And it's really it's on

her on how she wants to respond to this. So if you do it lovingly, do it care like, do it honoring she's your mother, you would you want to honor her in the process. But at the end of the day, it's about you and your husband and creating your traditions. That's right. So what you're what Christian is saying is that this is not a this is not a vote, this isn't not a democracy with her. This is you're going to be telling her in a very

empathetic way what you're going to be doing. Yeah, awesome question, And thank you Christian for tackling these you're interested in this episode one hundred sounds like fun. It's so good. Yeah yeah, and we're gonna we gotta get you back for for other ones. I appreciate you driving over here and being part of this and you make this podcast better. Budy appreciate you due. Thank you guys, thank you thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate

all of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie