Am I overthinking this?

You have all of these companies, you run construction businesses and design businesses, and then you live, depending on traffic, at least forty five minutes away from here. I work forty five minutes from here, so our office forty five minutes. I live another twenty minutes away from that the other way from here. So what so, So two questions. One first, we'll start with gratefulness. Thank you for coming this far for this podcast. I know the listeners love it when

you're here. And and then what do you do on the trip? I mean you have to you come so often, you must have some kind of routine. Well, let me say, appreciate you having me. It's it's a privilege for me, and it's just fun, like it's good to catch up with you and to you know, chop up some of these questions and you know, let the the rest of the internet kind of hear what we have to say. Is there a specific routine you do in the way or do you just I actually usually come in with

like a drink, you don't have it today? Yeah, No, I listened to the Graingersmith podcast like a good way to like just start, So the one that that you and chat did last week. I listened to that one on the way up today. But I don't know if there's a specific fig routine I do. Like you said, we don't prepare for this in a typical way of like, yeah, hey,

here's this, here's the plan. But I think we both and I would say Chad and Parker and Ahbur are like we prepare for this every morning, right, Like we we just have time of just stillness and to listen and to reflect and to pray. Hey God, whatever question is thrown at us, like give us the words, give us the tools that will be benefits a podcast or not. Right, So yeah, that kind of like prepares us for this in some way. So I do a little bit of that if I haven't caught up on some you know,

podcasts or listen to music but yeah, it's about it. Man, you usually have a drink with you? What is it, like sonic or something? What is a drink you usually have? Oh, it's a Chick fil A, but it's ice water. I go to Chick fil A and get a large ice water cup and I carry it around all the time. It's at my office. I forgot it. So why do you go to Chick fil A to get ice water? I don't know. It's better. Okay, the ice is awesome. No, sonic ice is awesome. I'll give him that. But I

don't know. When you have kids and you live near Chick fil A, it's like you just go to Chick fil A. That's kind of what you do. And I just get a large Chick fil A ice water. It makes sense, well, regardless of how you get here and why you come here. I just want everyone to know that Bernie travels a long way and he's a very busy guy, so it means a lot that he comes all the way from South Austin way up to North

Austin and everything in between to do this. This podcast is basically me and Bernie sitting around with you as if we're around a campfire and we're gonna answer your questions. If you're new to this podcast, you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Will answer anything you have, could be about any subject. We're gonna dive into it right now. Can I add one more person to the campfire? Yeah, because we've said before that it's you and me and

this person. Yeah right, yeah. But like I said, I try to stay off the comments on YouTube whenever I'm on here, Just Here Go and sanity. Yeah, but I was reading and there's I think that the listeners are the fourth person. O good because in the comments section there's a lot of like really good stuff that they say. So we're inviting you into the campfire. I loved reading some of the comments from the podcast last week about what they thought about this subject or that. So yeah,

that's fourth person. So our uh based on the listener. But I think the last I checked, the largest audience of this podcast is listening on the Apple podcast app. Okay, and that's about five times what's listening on YouTube. The Yeah, the Spotify is pretty high as well, So so shout out to Spotify, Shout shout out to Apple Podcasts, Shout out to our YouTube listeners. I don't. I know there's more. I can't think of other ways that people are listening.

But but I guess I'm saying that because not everyone could keep comment, but YouTube can. That's I didn't know interesting, right, I didn't know that there were that many people on the other platforms listening. Yeah. Wow, So we're gonna start with an easy one. Okay. It says advice on learning guitar, Bernie. I feel like we we get this a lot, and I'll just keep answering it because as as it comes in, I think it's important. It says, Hey, Grander, my name

is Ashton, I'm fifteen years old. I'm wondering what advice would you get for someone who wants to learn guitar? Thank you God bless Ashton Peck Class of twenty twenty four. So how did you learn guitar? This was back in the day for the internet. I went to Sears and I got their catalog. Okay, like sounds like this is coming out of nineteen fifty what I'm actually one hundred

and thirty two years old. I went to Sears, went to the catalog, and I went and paid the money, and then I waited like six to eight weeks for that little guitar to come in, and in the magazine it looks like this, like awesome guitar, right yeah, And it comes in and it's like this big. It's like a ty I have no idea. No, I don't have it.

Oh no, no, sold I started. I really wanted to play, and my mom basically said, well, if you really want to play, you'll learn on that one, and then once you show me like that you're into this thing, then we'll get you like another one. And so I had to play that little thing and it was terrible, and so I don't I didn't have a teacher. I didn't I would like ask a buddy, like, hey, I would get some chord charts and just start with putting my

hands on the chords and strumming, practicing strum patterns. But that's how I got my first guitar the world. That's I'm guessing you have a story. I'm guessing you have a very different story. Well, I mean I didn't go to series and wait six weeks. I mean that sounded like Grandpa's story, but it happened. But my story isn't that different. I just didn't go by it. It was when I knew I wanted to play because I saw other friends in junior high that were playing, and they

always the girls loved those guys that always. I was like, man, those guys, the girls loved those guys. And so I was fourteen when it just I was like, I have to learn, because I thought, if I'm fourteen and I learned now, and I and give me about three or four years, I'll be junior senior in high schooling around some campfire playing guitar, and like everyone would be looking at me. That's what I was thinking as a fourteen, that nobody looked at me when I was fourteen, So

I thought that would be awesome. So there was one in my in the closet of my house that my grandmother had given up on. So it's like this old guitar. It's actually in the room next door, but it was in the case and it had a little book in there that said where to put your fingers. So I just opened the book was under the guitar. It was like all predestined for me or something that's like that.

But for asking, that's not really answering your question, because you're not going to just go to seers or open up your closet and get grandma's guitar. Is his question. How do you get the guitar? I think it's or how do you start? Like he says, what's your advice to someone who wants to learn? So first you got to get one, got to get one, and they're everywhere now, I mean pawnshops, they're everywhere. I wouldn't spend for you, for brand new. This is what I would do right now.

I wouldn't spend anything over a buck fifty. I wouldn't go over one hundred and fifty bucks. You could easily go to Guitar Center and they're going to talk you into the three one hundred and seventy five dollars to four hundred dollar guitar. For sure. I would get a cheap guitar and then take it to a mom and pop guitar shop and say, hey, listen Ashton, tell them lower the action and add some nylon strings. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Nil on strings will definitely

help when your first get started. Yeah, getting the thing set up right, Yeah, from a mom and pop shop bead and they might look at you like what, but just say no. I learned it on the Grander Smith podcast. Put nylon strings on air. It's good for your fingers. You're not gonna wear out your fingers. So and then after that I would go to YouTube. Actually, Lincoln and London have been learning instruments or trying to, and I've been sending them to you to just say watch this,

so yeah, we don't have that. Find some of your favorite songs and go to like, uh, man, what's the app guitar, Ultimate Guitar or something like that, and you can find Like that was when I kind of something kind of shifted for me. Whenever I could play Tears in Heaven, right, I could, I could hear these songs and then I started like, Okay, I mean it's you got to squint a little bit, you know, but it's

it's there. Yeah, that's a great point because you need that motivation of fulfilling an idea in your head of playing a song you love instead of Man, I've been through six lessons and always doing is telling me the frets and the string numbers and notes, and so you could you don't want to hurt your fingers and you don't want to get caught up in this mumbo jumbo music jargon that get bored. So, yeah, he's fifteen. He's fifteen. Yeah, that's a good age. Good move, dude, Yeah, you'll appreciate it.

Greater job, bro, Let's go on to one. It's called life advice. Okay, says Hattie Granger and guest host. That was kind of rude. Yeah. My name is Eric. I live in the great state of Washington, Eastern Washington. That is, I'm married. I'm a married man of six years the September. I have three beautiful boys, Sawyer, Timber Wesley. That's great names. I said. I'll try to make this as short as possible,

but I really need some advice. For seven years now, I've worked at the same job and have slowly progressed my way up in the company. I'm at the point where I've almost reached my climax within this company, and I'm not happy and I don't want to settle. I have other job operas and opportunities that I could take, but it just scares me starting all over and having

to feed for feed. Four months during the pandemic, I was very fortunate to not be furloughed, which made me feel grateful working here, but I don't want to be content and continued to be unhappy at the same time. Change is very scary for me. I have high hopes and I hope that you have the right advice for me. Love everything you're doing with your podcast. God bless you and your family. Ye ye, ps, we'll see you in August at the Waterford Fair. Awesome. Eric H. So we've

seen this before. This is this is a family man, three kids, three boys, married for six years, in a job, wondering if there's something else out there, wondering if there's if the grass is greener, if there's if he's if there's, if he's capable of more, feeling like he's capable of more? What is there out there? What do you say this, dude? We've been here, We've been there. Yeah, And I think sometimes I think we can get we can dissect these questions like down to the you know, very very minutia

of it. When really I think there's two things. If if the guy's a believer, I think the process and the outcome may be very different, and maybe even the advice of the advice would be different. But the way that I tend to think to approach things is you may call me wrong, but you'll never call me indecisive. So I tend to take this stance of I'm going to pray about this. I'm going to spend some time in the stillness and think, like, God, what direction do

you want me to go? I'm going to make a decision. And when you got kids in a family, there's definitely like input from your wife and you have to be on the same page. But man, when people just kind of linger in this like oh should we I want to do? But I'm not happy here. Life's too short, dude, make a decision and move on on. Yeah, And whether that's like in your career, Hey, I made a decision. Man, I'm here and I'm gonna like be here going all in on this or I don't know what's next, but

I know that God's got me. I'm gonna make the decision and we're going to go and it's an adventure. It'll either way. It will be fun. You might call me wrong, but you'll never call me indecisive. Yeah. I love that. I don't think you can quote me on that. I think I said that. You probably read it in a book, but it's still is. I haven't heard it before and it sounds awesome and it's great. It's great motivation for Eric to say, hey, man, what kind of

man are you you? You got that's not afraid to be wrong, that's more afraid to be indecisive than it is to be wrong. And then on the flip side of this whole thing, Eric, I think that's great advice from Burns. From on the flip side of this whole thing, I think that this country, this culture, this this age that's just generation me included all of us. I think we have a problem with being content. And I see different cultures that don't have this problem, and different generations

our grandparents didn't seem to have this problem. Where do you think the problem started or comes continues to perpetuate from. Let me say, I don't exactly know. I mean, we could talk it through. But the Mexican culture, for example, seems to be a culture that's very content and that contentment equals happiness. And I don't see, Man, I'm trying to figure out how to say this the right way. But I could just I could just be blunt about it. But the guys that have built this house, there are

different cultures of men that have built this house. I've seen in the Mexican culture just they're always uplifting, they're always in good spirits. They're always content, whether it's raining or hot or cold, and I don't see complaining. But there's other cultures. The white culture the number one that they complain that it's always something wrong with the weather or the time of day, it's too early, or something

is too hard. And I'm thinking in my mind that it's a cultural thing because they're probably thinking, and I hope I'm not offending anybody. I think I can because I am that culture, But in my mind, they're thinking, man, I should be the boss of this One day, I'm going to be the boss of this organization and I'll be running my hours here. And you don't see that as much in other cultures that are just content with working and content with what they're doing, and that equals

so much more happiness. Now, it's a great point have to kind of argue though that at the same time, a guy like Eric, you know, that's in a lot of ways men like that advanced the culture because they were not content. So where do you draw the line between well, we need to we need to advance the family and in advance the culture, but we also just need to be content. Yeah, So if we go to the Bible, though, it's going to say Paul says, I've

learned to be content in any circumstance. So I think that's where it goes back to, like getting into the stillness and you know, like in James where it says, don't say I'm gonna go here or there for a year and do business, but instead like, if God wants me to do this, this is what I'm gonna do. Yeah.

Sometimes I think we can take you know, our own stance on things and our own desire and our own will, and then that's what drives us, like, well, I want that big house, and this job isn't given me the means to get that big house. And say, what if God doesn't want you to have that big house? Are you content with the medium sized house that's probably bigger than ninety eight percent of the houses in the free world? Like yeah, how long how long was your dad a

police officer? Thirty years? So it's it. Don't you think it's kind of rare that someone's like just retired from the department how long thirty years? Or where'd you where'd your dad work he worked at the factory? How long? Thirty eight years? That's rare, is Yeah. Today you would ask somebody and they would say, well, I work here for five and here for work for Dell Computer from seven.

So here's Eric. Yeah, that's a very interesting concept. I think you're you're kind of hitting into something that's more like I think there's layers to that, like what advancement have we had in our society? And maybe it's Western, yeah, but maybe it's just global connection technology. What what opened up that all of a sudden completely raised the expectation of what we deserve and lowered the contentment. There's guys right out here, right outside this wall that are working

on the mortar work. They're working on the brick laying. If I was going to ask them what their their career dreams would be, they they would probably say, well, this is great, I'll just do I'm just going to do this. I envy that in a way. So Eric, I would ask you this to kind of try to help sum this up for you to hopefully meet you meet your expectation of a good, good answer from us. I would I would dig deep to why you're feeling like you need to move jobs? Is it? What kind

of unrest are you having? Is it? Can you realize that this is a kind of unrest that no matter what job you get into, you're still going to be not content, You're still going to be restless. Or is it legitimately I'm not I'm not giving my full ability to this job. Or I could do more somewhere else. I have more to offer the world somewhere else. But are you able to realize when you hit that threshold?

I wonder if this is deeper than just his work, because I'm just thinking about people that I've known that it's like, or that I know that we both know they're just not really content. They're always going to find something that's like, oh I could do this, I could do that. It's like those options just like constantly are They're looking for something else, and it's like, well, to get specific on you too, Eric, you say, I have other job offers and other opportunities that I could take,

but it just scares me starting all over. Just throw that out the window, just take them to going to have to go back to what Bernie said at the beginning, that you only live once. But when you do this, when you do this process, you have to be very self aware that you need to know what the reasons you're doing. And if you're just just a not very just not content in any kind of situation, that's a problem you need to fix other than a job. Did he say how long he had been at his current No, No,

he said, I've I've been here seven years. There is seven years. Seven years ain't that long, man? I know, in today's society maybe it's a long time, but it's not that long. It's long enough for you to know the culture of the company and the culture of and and the work that you're doing, and where your ceiling is. And so I don't know. I'm we'll have to, you know,

get into this a little deeper another time. But I'm so interested by your thoughts on what you know that thought of Like, yeah, my dad was a police officer for thirty years, and this guy worked at this plant for thirty eight has never changed jobs as long as that was a lot. Where was it in our culture that we switched to like, oh, yeah, I've had five

jobs in the last six years. Like what Yeah, So I bet you everyone listened to this podcast that has a parent that was born in the fifties or older would say that they only had one job the whole time they knew them. I think that that's something in the psyche and something in the heart. I don't know where it came from, but something's like, we're just not a content people. Yeah, let's go to let's go to Aiden here and his question, we'll have time for one

more for a break. It says, subject line, very important time, mister Granger. I'm a big fan, been listening to your music for a while, and I'd like to keep my name unknown. Did I say his name already? I don't think nobody wanted you. Every time that I hear you read a question and it says I want to be anonymous, I think back to that one. He said, Uh, my girlfriend and I recently broke up because her parents disapproved

of us. How can I gain their trust? Also, she has depression and I want to try to cure it myself. I don't know if that's possible. Bertie's not laughing at you, buddy, I don't know if that's possible. She was using the stuff that makes people high, but that's not good. Do you know how I could try to stop her? Depression. Have a good day, yeeky mister anonymous here anonymous secure depression.

You cannot cure her depression? No? No, First of all, like they're broken up, right, yeah, because her parents didn't like him. Yes, yeah, But there's this multi layered. This very short question was very multiple. What was the question? First? He says, how could I gain their trust? Her parents? And the second question is do you know how I could try to stop her depression? So that's let's just say quickly no on that part, we cannot. We cannot

help you stop her depression. But we could tell you to to to recommend getting medical help, professional help, and be support system. Yet boom, it doesn't get any deeper than that. You just Bernie said it. So then for her parents, this is tough one because you guys are already broken up. But how do you gain their trust? Well, first you got to be consistent. It's not about words, it's about actions. And so I would go to her dad.

If this is something you actually pursuing, I would I would go to her dad and ask him to coffee or lunch, breakfast, dinner, iced tea, whatever, Chick fil a water, Chick fil a water, to say Uh, you know, mister, mister X girlfriend, I would love to take you out for a Chick fil a water ye sit down with him and and pour your heart out. And hey, if he doesn't, just if he doesn't approve of you, that this is uh, that's a serious red flag for you dating this girl. Mm hmm. I would have some follow

up questions for our unknown guy. I think you did say his name and I'm just trying to avoid that. Did she break up with you and tell you we need to break up? My parents just don't like you, because if I'm this guy, I'm like, well that just is it just them or is it all of you that don't like me? Yeah, it's tough to We see this a lot, man. We see this kind of question with it's it's always guys. It's never girls that email this. It's guys saying her parents don't approve, but but we

don't care. We're moving forward anyway. I'm kind of shocked at how many times we see that. And as a parent, I'm closer you are too. I'm closer to the parents' age on these situations because I have a ten year old and you have a eight, So we're closer to the parents age really than we are to the date ease. So it's hard for me to think to put myself in this scenario in London and I'm like, man, this guy. You cannot date this guy and guys will stay it

on record. I would say that, Yeah, I would say that. I'd be the kind of dad that says now now being Bernie, would both hope to raise our kids, to instill them with enough to equip them to attract the right person anyway. Yeah, but it's still possible that they would go off the deep end, and I would say, uh, and dating that guy, yeah, I mean imagine, So what what's a scenario. He's twenty five, you're sixteen. Boom, there's enough right there. Yeah, you're not dating this guy. Yeah,

for sure. He's a convicted felon with a child molestation. Okay, Boom. I could go down the list. So let's say that did happen, not one of those scenarios, but let's say it did happen where London's dating this guy and you're like no, for whatever reason, You're like no, what could he do to change your mind? That's why I say he's to this guy to unknown here he's got to take me out. He's got to come up and he has to set something up, like, hey, I want to

have coffee with you house Monday. Yeah. Now I would probably say I'm busy, yeah, but hang in there, be patient. Okay, how about it next month? And if I see a guy that it's three months, he's been asking me for coffee for three months, I'm gonna go fine, Fine, you

got ten minutes, You got ten minutes. Yeah, that's where the question about where Let's just say this is you in London, where London would be in it, because if London's coming to you saying dad, mom, like I broke up with him, I know y'all don't like him, and said I'm just gonna move on this guy. Hey, buddy,

we don't need to have coffee. She's moved on. But let's say that she is into him and like is trying to be respectful and y'all they broke up because whatever, that's the only way I would if she was like, dad, please, yeah, please, you need to see this guy for who he is. Yeah, And in that, the only thing that's gonna change my mind as a father of a daughter is like you said over time recognizing that man, this guy puts himself, puts or puts my daughter above himself all the time.

And I can just see how he serves her, how he's gentle with her, how he's patient with her. And then you know, over time you start to see those things, and you start to see that and she has a lot of joy in him. And maybe it was the parents didn't like him, you know, for a reason that was very surface, and there was like a course, something off the bat that was like I don't think so. I mean, I can you know, my in laws are absolutely the best and they accepted me no matter what.

But I was a broke, starving musician with long dreadlocks, just kind of floating around the world like there was no reason for them to say like, oh, yeah, you know, you can date our daughter. But they did, Thank goodness. But if it was something like that that was very surface, and then over time he has a chance to kind of break through that, I think he could win him over totally. I got high hopes for you, mister unknown. We'd take a break, be right back. Podcast today is

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I'm gonna kick this next question off to you. I'm gonna throw I'm gonna throw some choose your own adventure exactly. We have a Q and A all right, we have Montana bus, we have what's next not click bait, we have help, we have Bible question, we have wedding worries. I feel like Chad punted the Bible question last week, as I was, that was one you threw the hit. No, I'm not saying I want we need to say that one for Chad. He's the guy for that one because

he handled some of those questions last week. Just did you listen to Chad by the way saying that for the episode one hundred, we need the all star cast? Dude, love it. Okay, that'd be so fun. Okay, I'm in that'd be so fun. Yeah, all right, do you even remember what I said? Oh, here's one that says for Bernie and Granger. Okay, I gotta do that one. Yep says hello, my name is anonymous. This person knows what's up.

Let me set the scene. We're in a field with a bonfire, some cold drinks with music and other friends. So me and my wife and one and our one and a half year old went to my mother's for Mother's Day. My wife is pregnant with our second child. The whole time, my grandmother kept commenting on how big my wife's stomach, not in a good way was more like, I can't believe it's that big. My mother kept also undermining us in front of the rest of the family and giving our kid chips and sweet tea when we

needed to eat. He needed to eat actual real food and drink water because he's been running outside so much. How could we be tactful to my family because I could be harsh, but they are also family. But at the same time, they do not respect us in front of the rest of our family. They undermine us as parents. The kid is also so young and he's still learning, and he doesn't need to be threatened to be whooped

when he does something wrong. There's a lot to unpack her by anonymous, So let me let me threatening to whoop him too. I guess they're giving him the chips on the okay, let's say so. Okay, So his wife's pregnant, yep, number two, number two, and my grandmother kept commenting on how big my wife's stomach was, not in a good way, more like it, I can't believe it's that big. My mother kept also undermining us. So his mother and grandmother

teaming up on daughter in law and grandkid. Okay, and for some reason the title is for Bernie and Granger, like they just knew that you would be the one. Well, I'm always going to defer to grace and patience with them. But also Leslie and I were talking about this the other day just and this is kind of a culture thing that we've moved to. But also, you know, Lez and I just kind of discussing amongst ourselves like why are we and people in general these days so easily offended. Well,

first of all, it's the grandparents. They're gonna give chips and cookies and whatever. Don't be offended. That's what they do. And when they your kids have kids, you're gonna do that. So I take that off the plate, right, that's a grandparent being a grandparent. Let them do their thing. As far as the grandmother making comments about the belly, one,

just don't be offended. Just laugh I mean we have to have like the confidence and the security to look at our own you know, bellies and whatever it is and just be like, yeah, you're right man, Yeah I can laugh with myself. Grandmother's carried a few babies in her day. Yeah, yeah, I think we're easily offended. I think I would maybe spend some time thinking about that, why these relationships are, why these things offended you so much, and then also go back to grace and patience, like, man,

they love you. They're just humans. We're all just humans trying to be humans with other humans. And it's just tough. Man. That's so good man. All of that is great. I can't beat any of that. If you're having trouble with your your in laws, or if your parents are bothering your spouse, grace and patience. They raised you. They got you to this point at some level. They got you here. Listen to them. You don't have to take it to heart,

and you don't have to be offended by everything. This world gets so offended, but this and that and this and that, don't be offended, especially if it's family. Now you're asking me, how could I be actful to my family? Because I could be harsh, but they're also family. Yeah, that's listen to yourself. Be tactful but not harsh. I think communication is key on it on so many levels of life. Just sitting down, going, Grandma, can I can

I talk to you about something? I know that you might not think it's a big deal, but when you say her belly is big in a bad way, she's pregnant, she has hormones. It's she's taking it to heart, she's making it's a little more sensitive than she's more sensitive than she would be. So would you mind just not bringing that up so much Grandma? More than likely Grandma

is gonna understand. Yeah. And if she doesn't just make fun of how old she is and she can't see you know, it's like, okay, this is the dynamic of the religionship. Let's just okay. See if it goes both ways. Yeah, I'm just kidding, don't do that. I love it all right. If you have a question for this podcast for me and Burns or anybody else, Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I think we're gonna do an all star cast for episode one d This is episode ninety three, so that'd

be really fun. Kicking them back to you burns. Struggle for Dad. I like that grief how to get over death? I have a Q and A I have Montana Bus. Let's do the Struggle for Dad, okay, okay, and then let's do the Montana Bus after that. Okay. I know some people out there here there title and they're like, oh no, okay, Struggle for Dad. Said, Hey, Granger, my fiance and I love all the content that you put out. You have a beautiful family and you are inspiring great

role models. Thank you, says We have three boys, nine three and five months old. As a father, I want nothing but the best for my boys, and I want to be the best father I could be for them. I struggle with being patient at times, and I don't like being like that. Do you ever struggle with not being patient? Do you know what the Bible verses are, stories that speak on this are thank you for being such a great model for us dads. So this is this is Jeffrey. That email could have easily been from

me though, yeah, it could have been for me too. Yeah, yeah, Jeffrey, I feel your brother. How old are his kids again? They're nine three and five months? Okay, got a good spread going. That's that's that ten years spreads almost what we got going on here at the house. Yeah, first of all, you're you're right on cue Jeff, You're you've got nine to three and five months. You're going to lose your patients, and so is your wife. It's it's a test. He's asking, do you know any Bible verses

or stories that speak on this. Well, a lot of Paul's letters talk about patience as being on the top of the list of his virtues. It's like love, and then patience is like almost right there. So it's something just like love. You're not just going to go out of the gate and just love everyone. It's something you cultivate, it's something it's a skill that you develop. Patience is now,

God is a god of patience. So you're asking about Bible stories, well, repeatedly through the Old Testament, it's going to talk about how God is quick to forgive and slow to anger, and these unbelievable patience. And it's also known through a lot of these Bible stories that he is teaching us patients, or teaching the characters and the Bible patience, which then we in turn learn from through

all kinds of scenario that he throws at us. And I think God desires us to be patient so much so that a lot of things we have to go through in life or cultivating that patience. So if what's something burns that you you consciously, I know I have a lot of examples that I could consciously say, Man, that was a season of patience for me. That was we kick and scream when we have to deal with patients, We kick and scream, and then we yeah, and then

we finally stopped flailing and just succumb to it. Twenty twenty was a great example for all of us when we built this house and lived in the RV. It's a it's a big yeah. Yeah, Jeff, you're you're right on man. Yeah, You're not alone in the street, so

you know, so know that. And I would suggest go dig into the Bible and find the stories because hearing them from us is one thing, But when you actually go and start to read and like read the story and read the context and find them on your own, and like spend that time alone and let God kind of speak to you on fatherhood and and your relationship to him and how you can reflect that then to

your kids. I think that's when the dependency on him increases and the outflow towards your kids starts to change. You know, I'm the vineyar the branches. You know, you can do nothing apart from me. If we think about that, he who abides me will bear fruit like man, the fruits of the spirit is what he's talking about showing

to his kids. Well, we have to abide in him, and so I mean that's that's the first thing that I think and I both would suggest, and that we try our absolute best is just try to be in the word and like abide in him and like what does that phrase even mean? Maybe go just like research that and think about that. Guys, I read the Bible every single morning. I know Burns does too. So it's something that we just do. It's a practice that we start and through that you learn things like patience and

love and forgiveness. You learn those things through just reading it, not looking at a devotional with pinpointing a specific area of trouble. Yeah, I think this goes back to his spouse to or fiance to a little bit, which is why does he have a fiance and three kids? Maybe it's a different, different girl. It doesn't say that, but regardless, I would kick it back to her sometimes and just say, hey, babe, I'm dealing with a lot of stuff at work right now,

I'm trying to knock this out before five o'clock. Can you take the boys? And at five o'clock I'm all in, But I have to concentrate on this zoom call or whatever. You know that could be these moments that's getting your patients, you know, exposed, is when you're you're trying to knock out something for work and you're on you need fifteen more minutes of the zoom call. If you'll just then

I'll go throw the ball with you. You're going to be a better dad if you could delegate that to your spouse and then but then at five you better be locked on with the boys. Yeah, no, absolutely that that communication I think is key, especially when you're parenting like together and as a unit like. I think communication is key. I think boundaries and boundaries and understanding your limits. So we tend to get a lot more pressure and a lot more stressed and a lot more impatient when

we have pushed our back boundaries. Right, We've pushed our limits, and so now I'm trying to do this, and but my son is asking to do this instead of having very clear boundaries, Hey, I'm actually I have margin in my life. I'm not all the way edge to edge. I haven't pushed my limits to where I'm stressed. I think in those moments, we're not as tired, we're not as irritable, and we're not as impatient. Like we have

bandwidth to show that patience. And one last thing to book in this, Granger said, like reading the Word every morning. One thing that I've started to do with a group of guys is take one passage, one parable and read it and study it every morning for three weeks. Because you get up the fourth day and it's like, yep, God, I've read this before. I know this. But about the sixth day of the seventh day, you have to have patience.

And it's it's definitely taught me to wait on the Lord and to be patient, because then about the fifth or sixth day, it's like, oh, I get what it's. Oh it's not that, here's what it is, but you just have to that's awesome, be patient in it. So don't just get up and like read this and kind of move on you know, coffee cup verse and then go throughout your day like be patient in the word. And I think that that is a good practice in the morning that will help show patients kind of throughout

the day too. Love it. We got we got some We've got a little more time burns. We have wedding worries. Wait, we were going to uh're going to Montana bus? You said that already. Bus on ta bus says, Hey Granger, just listening to the podcast where you were recording in on the Montana bus. I'm from Missoula, Montana. Just curious how you came up with the name of that bus. Thanks Evan. So so our buses we have Montana, Freedom, and Wildflower. Now they were all three named before we

got them. Apparently, as it with ships or planes, buses falling that in the category yachts, whatever, they are named when they're built. Do they get named by the people that build them or by the people that buy them? Sometimes I think it's the builder, and sometimes it's the first owner. The first owner. Yeah, so, and then apparently it's bad luck if you rename them. Butch and Bull. My drivers told me recently that we've had so much bad luck with these buses, that next one we get

what we want. Sotana. I have no idea, Evan, I have no idea why she was named Montana. But it's interesting, right, It's interesting that either someone really loved that state, or that's where her first job was, or that's where the first owner was lived. And so I don't know, but I love Montana. We're gonna be there two weeks. We'll be in in Bozeman, oh Man, and then Cherry Peak, Utah the next day. I've never been to Montana. Maybe I'll like jump aboard the bus and hide in the

storage shed. Part of it with you. Montana is amazing. It's so you've been, You've been a lot through Utah. And what about Idaho? No, I won't. I won't mention Idaho because it's the nation's best kept secret, so I'll keep it a secret. It's incredible. I won't say anything else. But Montana. It's like you take you take the aspects of northern Utah with the amazing mountains, but you spread it out in just these endless valleys. Montana is just endless, big,

huge valleys. So you see these valleys in Colorado. Sometimes you can go through like the Breckenridge Valley, but then the Montana ones are completely unsettled. There's no humans that live there. It's crazy. It's like seeing Colorado Breckenridge in eighteen eighty. Yeah, nothing, Why has nobody moved like I think they're flocking there now there. I think just like

Austin and other places. I think people are going we don't have to work in the office as song as we And with this new Skylink, this new Elon Musk Internet, you're going to be able to have high speed internet anywhere in the world. People are going to start getting houses in Montana. Yeah, unfortunately for the people that live there, fortunate for everyone else that wants to to enjoy it. But yeah, Montana's a special place. Yep. Time for one more. Yeah,

we do does does anything else that I've said? We have Q and A. We have how to get over death, we have grief, we have help if I need relationship advice, Bible question left arm wedding worries, Let's do wedding worries, says Hey, my name is Mike. I'm emailing you from the Midwest, good old Indiana as a fan of not only your music but your wisdom and outlook on life. I felt like I could really trust you that I can get the right answer. On December twelfth makes us.

It made my girlfriend and I sixth anniversary. It may sound like cliche, but I'm planning on popping the question. Her father and I seem to get along and I've never felt any bumps in the road, but I'm still worried. I'm a man of mixed ethnicity, mother Caucasian, father African American and working on becoming a vocalist and audio engineer as a career. She's Caucasian and a nurse. I shouldn't worry about things like this, but I'm constantly going back and forth in my mind with the pigment of my

skin being an issue and career choice. As well as do all girls on their big day. She really wants to walk down the wants him to walk her down the aisle, and I ultimately would love to have one big old family with nothing but joy and happiness. Granger, Am I overthinking this? Should I be worried in today's world? And if you have any tips on popping the big question? Could you help a brother out? Thank you for all that you do. Mike man. So, first of all, December twelfth,

so that's he's he's talking about twenty twenty one. So let me read that again. I felt like I could really trust you. I know you could get the right answer. On December twelfth makes my girlfriend and I's sixth anniversary. He's gonna pop the question. This email came to me yesterday, so it's fresh. Okay, does he have a name? Mike? Mike? Uh? So there's two questions, One, how do you pop the question?

If we have any tips? And two should he worry about joy and happiness with concerning the pigment of his skin and hers? That's what it sounds like, is that's what the question is. So there's no uh, there's no question about the parents' acceptance. Like I thought he was worried. Father and I seem to get along okay, and I've never felt any bumps in the road. Okay, but I'm still worried he has. Mike has some some deep down issues that go way beyond this relationship or this family.

In laws or potential in laws haven't given him any reason. Yeah. So that's hey, Mike, that's why we're kind of stumped right now, because it sounds it sounds great. Yeah, you may be worrying for no reason. Yeah, he says, he says. Two times, he says, one, am I were thinking this? And two he says, should I be worried? So the quick answer is no, this this sounds great. It sounds like it sounds like you're seeing You're watching a little bit too much social media, a little bit a little

bit too much news. You're seeing, Uh, you're seeing what the world wants you to see. And that's not what love is. Yep, that's not what your future wife has giving you signals back with. It's not what your in laws seemed to be giving you signals back with. They're seeing love as it should be, which has no color, has no pigment of skin, we all have red blood. And I honestly think this is the product of coming out of twenty twenty and seeing what the world did

to itself, which should never have gone that far. And then he's coming out of twenty twenty, he's coming out of seeing all that on the news, and he's like, man, is this whole critical race theory real? And is it inside my future in laws? And are they just putting on front And they're gonna hate me as soon as we get married. Yeah, I mean, so the answer is false, that's false. Yeah, you got Blake Bernie, you have a black daughter. Yes, what you know you've thought about this,

You're the future of this. Yeah. I I want to empathize with Mike and understand. I it's it's hard. It's hard and not really in my just natural psychology nature to empathize with fear and to when it's not warranted. When and and I think that this is one of those times where I understand concern and there are certain things maybe you you do think about. But when our fear keeps us from doing the will of God, I think we're outside of our place. I think that we

need community to like help us realign. And so yeah, I mean, there's there's a good chance that you could and I know with my daughter Stella and with our with our family and in the comments that we've had in the past, like you could receive some nasty comments and some you know, persecution of some kind. I think that if you have this deep love, you know, like it sounds like you do and sounds like you have the support of your in laws, we're going to face

those things. In our life in some capacity. I think it's just about being in the will of God when you do it. Yeah, yeah, amen. So if we're outside of that, I think it makes it tougher to endure. But if you're in the will of God and you're you're close to him and you're walking in the path that he has for you, and you're soon to be fiance, I think you can attest to this. Whatever the world throws at you, whatever life throws at you, you'll be fine. Yeah.

And I want to say this too, because the second part of his question is not just about skin color. It's about career choice, because he's talking about he is a he's working on being coming a vocalist and audio engineer as a career. So you know how what we stand on that because me and you both did that. And I look back on when Amber married me in twenty ten and sometimes I ask her to this day, I'm like, why did you marry me? Because I was nobody, making no money. She was going to my shows and

selling merch with me. When we were dating. No one was there. She could she looked at this, she could have easily been like, this guy is going nowhere. Yeah, he just played a show in Waco, Texas and twelve people came, and you would think that, you would think a girl could look at that and be like I got there's plenty of guys out there that are going somewhere that have a good job and that could be

a father to my children. So yeah, similar story, similar story to Mike, and we could almost wrap it back up to the being content when the American idea is always to jump ship, there's something better, and like I said, with the Mexican culture doesn't seem to think that. And keep in mind, when I say Mexican culture, I'm not talking about Hispanics. I'm not talking about pigment of skin, because once they become American, they want to do the same thing. This is an American thing, not by heritage,

but by your origin. Because if you're from Mexico, you think there seems to be a higher level of contentment. But when you're a Mexican American, you have the same want a jump ship and be there's something greater for me, and that's what built this country. It's amazing, but it also hurts people like Mike who's like, man, I always want to be an audio engineer, but I don't know if that's going to be enough money for this family. But didn't think like that sixty years ago. They're like,

this is what I do. I work at the bread factory. That's what I do. And the main thing I want to look at here is you asked I want a big old family with nothing but joy and happiness. Nothing you've said in your email should affect that, right, career, pigment of skin, nothing, in laws, in laws, nothing should stop you from having a big old family with joy and happiness. Mike, you go get it, man. Yeah, this

is for you. Yeah, absolutely, man, this is for you and me and Burns are going to be thinking about you on December twelfth, and he asked ways to propose. Yeah, I think you do it at a Granger Smith show. Y'all have done that before, right, come on, Mike, Yes, Hey, Mike, email me back, or you do it on the podcast special guest Mike, Oh, girlfriends here, that would be so awkward. Hey, by email me back if you want to get if you want to propose it one of my shows. But

I don't know if we're playing December twelfth. I can't can't even look it up. But twelve twelve. Regardless, Buddy, twelve twelve, twenty one, I'll be thinking about you the day of the proposal. I appreciate you, buddy. I appreciate you writing in. Get rid of that fear, Go get your big joy and happiness and big old family. Yep burns read of time. But I appreciate you dropping up here. It's been awesome, man. Yeah, appreciate you, dude. See you guys.

Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yi