3.5 years in prison changed everything

doing more and more. We're going to be announcing these and I'll continue to kind of talk about them on this program as they come in because we're just pumped to finally get back on the road and see you guys again. We're opening up meet and greets again so you could find all of that information. Where do you get a meet and greet? How do you meet me? How do you talk to me? How can you ask me a question in person, just like you would ask me on this podcast. You go to grangersmith dot com

and right there at the very front page. As soon as you get there, it's gonna say meet granger click on that or tour, which I think is on all very easy to find and more and more of these dates are gonna be start to come out and be announced. Just cannot be more excited about it. Super excited about this episode too, because I have a friend of mine. His name is Brandon Puffer. He is a former major league pitcher slash current motivational speaker, and he has just

an amazing story. You're gonna see what this title is all about. As we start talking about it. You could see his journey, where he went, how he learned, how he got better, and some of his life in the major leagues. And then we're gonna answer with Brandon your questions with If you have any questions for me, ever, email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. We'll get to them with whatever guest I have today is Brandon.

You're really lucky for those of you that I answered questions today, You're lucky because Brandon is he comes from a really solid foundation of self help and learning. And how often you get your answered, your questions answered by a major league picture. So I've got my brain is so excited right now that we're touring to so all that together. Welcome to the podcast. Episode eighty did in dcent months long line. I'm five four humping down the

back rangey cool. Yeah you. So several years ago I was going every morning to anytime fitness the gym and there's this dude in there working out. Big dude. For those of you that don't have video, you're not watching. Brandon's a big dude. He's a big How big are you? How tall? And I am six three two seventy okay? Okay? Yeah yeah all muscle, all muscle, Yeah no for real? Yeah really. So there's this dude in there and he's like the the extrovert of the gym, talks to everybody.

I kind of always have my headphones. And at one point, you know, we started talking and you thought I was a fireman. I think first that's what you asked. You said, Oh, were you a fireman? Yeah? I did. I didn't have that fireman looking at man. So every morning we became closer and closer, and then it took a step where we were friends outside of just the gym. We became

text buddies. We talked a lot, and you're just one of these guys man that that, and it's the kind of guy I like to bring on this podcast because you have a well thought out, well grounded answer to life's problems. And you could if I say, man, buffer, I got man, I got something I'm kind of dealing with, you could sit down with empathy, listen and give a

very good, mature manhood type answer. And I love that, and I love that we have people on this podcast that listen that that have these endless questions that they email me, and I love to be able to discuss them as if we're sitting around a campfire and just it's like it's me and you and then someone else and they go, Man, can I ask you guys a question?

Something you know in this relationship I'm in, or this job I'm in right now, or something with my mom, you know, whatever it might be, and we can go, man, let me think about it, without notes, without preparation, we can dive into it. So I want to do that with you today with some questions that I found, and if anyone has a question, you could email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Could be about anything, could be music related, could be fun, could be deep, could be dark,

could whatever it might be. We're not afraid to get into it. But before we do that, something you were telling me in the gym when I first met you, some time would go by and you'd say, one of these days, I want to tell you my story. I'll tell you my story. And we never officially did that, wow in person. Did at some point I was like, you know, late at night, I was like, I don't know, like Wikipedia, yeah, right, just to find out if I

could see what your story was. Not that Wikipedia is a good reference for anything, but I was blown away pitcher in the major leagues, which the way I look at it in music terms, to get a record deal, have a number one song, those are those are kind of the ways we we will raid each other in a lot of ways meaning that and it's not it's not always talent that does that. It's it's a lot of blessings that do that. But in sports. To play baseball, a lot of people play baseball to be a picture,

a smaller group do that. To do it at a high level, it's smaller group. To go into the minor leagues, a tiny, tiny group. To go into the majors, tiny of the tiny, and then to actually start and have a successful career, it's it's a unicorn, right, It's almost impossible. And that's you. That's you. Sitting next to a major league successful major league pitcher. But you have a story, and there's a little bit of that on the Wikipedia page. But I wanted to before we get into anything else.

I wanted you if you're comfortable just getting into that story a little bit. Yeah, yes, I'm comfortable with that. Gosh. The biggest part of my story for me shaping who I am now is the rock bottom right right. Adversity is where we all kind of find out what we're made of, find out what our foundation is. And so, man, you're super proud of, you know, making it to the

big leagues and having a career. And I was just talking to Ben out there, say he's a Boston Red Sox fan, and I didn't tell him, but I have. I won a World Series one of those guys, and it's like some of the stuff that happened seems like and maybe you can relate to this Granger. It's like that's like another person out there, like it doesn't even didn't happen to me, you know, and so and I'm very proud of it, and my family's proud of it.

But yeah, my story is basically that I felt like growing up, if I had one day in the big leagues. I mean, like a lot of kids, I just wanted to be a pro baseball player. Man, I did, and that my life would be complete. That's kind of the way I like to share it with people. And gosh, I now look at it as kind of like a god shaped hole within me that I was trying to fill with so much stuff. And I thought, man, one day in the big leagues, that's it, that's what I'm

here for. I'm complete. And I just found out that wasn't the case. And I had a lot of demons I was fighting off the field. So what point did you realize that so you made it to the bit? Yes, yes, yes it was. It was it when you got called up. Did you get called up right or did you go straight in? I did. I got drafted out of high school, went to the minor leagues, and when I got drafted, I thought, hey, kind of it's just it and I

was like, no, this isn't it. Well, I'll just keep working and go to the big leagues, okay, And then I did. In April of two thousand and two, I was playing Triple A ball in New Orleans for the Astros and got called out to the big LEA was that Like, was it a phone call? No, manager called me in the office after the game. It's one of those and you managing, you see an office type deal. Yeah, and it's either we're firing you, right, or it's good. So this one was good, and uh it was. It was, Hey,

you're joining the big club in Cincinnati tomorrow. It took me a while. I was I think twenty six at the time. I spent some significant time in the minor leagues, and yeah, I mean it was. It was very cool. And you go out and call your family and hey, the dream you boys, you know what. It absolutely was an awesome feeling. But then I showed up Cincinnati the next day. The next day, Oh yeah, immediately, that's how baseball works. It's where were you living? Where was the

minor league team New Orleans? So you got on a plane on a plane tonati, You've packed what you had that night after the game. Yeah, yeah, it's that way. I don't think people realize that it's that way. If it's a good call, that's an easy call. Like, man, I'm walking on cloud I'm a cloud nine. I'm packing, getting what I need and going. But it's that way if you're traded, or it's that way if you're released. It's like, hey, you're gone, like right there. So at

this point you probably played baseball for twenty years. Yes, I had, I had, yes, and I had actually spent I think it was seven or eight years in the minor leagues before that call up. So not that everybody doesn't appreciate their call up, but man, it was after spending a lot of time building to it and being released by a few teams and having some adversity, it was a great It was a great feeling. I mean

no doubt about it. Showed up in Cincinnati and you got the Bagwells and Vigeos and Berkman's and the big dogs, you know, and my jersey's next to them. Was like wow, incredible. So a lot of great memories. But I think pretty immediately well it kind of just floated around for a couple of weeks and then started realizing, you know, just what's next. You know, oh, maybe it's got to get a big contractor I gotta And again you probably relate to this, but it wasn't instant fulfilled. It it wasn't.

It wasn't well, it was immediately, and then it dissipated pretty fast. Sure, I get it. Now, I gotta stay now. I gotta stay now. I gotta perform now. You have to succeed right exactly, Yeah, exactly and so And I think part of it too is being a huge baseball fan as a kid. I mean, I'm a huge fan. There's ballplayers you go home, they don't want to watch a game. Come on, man, we're gonna watch it. We just did this all day. You know, I don't want

to do this. And I'm just a big fan. So I got a little starstruckted by a lot of the guys around me, guys who are now in the batter's box type deal. What year was this? Two thousand and two? Okay, two thousand and two. So I see, I grew up for some reason. I don't know. I'm grew up in Dallas, But I had Eric Davis posters on the wall. Yeah, and the eighties but I don't remember why. Yeah, but I just love the Reds. I loved him too, man number forty four, Yeah, held his hands real low when

he hit. Yeah. Eric Dave was a stud. Yeah, so that I don't think he was there, But like Barry Larkin was a big staple for Cincinnati at the time, and that kind of stuff. So it was neat, but gosh, I'll tell you it's hard bouncing around in my story. But what it was common theme beginning in high school for me was knowing what I wanted to do, but then really fighting the demons of you know, alcohol and women and being a tough guy. Whatever I thought would

feel that God shaped hole. That didn't, nor did baseball, Norded World Series ring, nor did anything else. And so it took kind of like you said, that that rock bottom, that adversity, and for me that was a little more hardcore than a lot of people. You know, you read the Book of Jonah and it's like Joanah was a knucklehead and he needed three days and the belly of a whale. Not me. I needed three and a half years in prison. It was like, not three days, three

and a half years. Man. I went out with the guys I had become. I was sober for five years. I went to celebrate recovery, sober for five years. Dad was an recovering alcoholic. I just knew it was pretty obvious. I'm a pretty aw in or all out guy everything I do. Yep, you saw that at the gym, right, And so it became pretty obvious. I wasn't the guy that could just have a couple of drinks and be okay, no judgment to whoever can that's awesome. But I wasn't

a good social drinker. I was all out frank the tank every time. So I had learned that the hard way a few times, and so you know, I had become a Christian in my life in nineteen ninety eight. Grew up with a mom that was just an angel. I mean, she's pastoral care leader for Saddleback Church Rick

Warren in California, and had just on a die. I thought about what you said about being a guy who can listen with empathy, and I was thinking in my head when you're saying, like, I don't know why that is, and people do tend to open up and listen, but I just it's pretty easy. Now I think about my mom. That's what she does and has always done, not for

a living, but just in life. If people are in trouble, or if someone passes away or something happens that's really hard, they call her in, you know, And so I'm like huh okay, well maybe there's some of that there. And so, you know, faith was in my life, but my dad was not a man of faith at the time. He was a tough dude. He was a drinker and a fighter and you know everything else that comes along with that stereotypical image. And I wanted to be more like him,

honestly at the time. And so, you know, went through and fought a lot of that way as a boy. It almost didn't matter what your dad did as a boy. You just want to be that because he's a man and you' and that's such an important piece of fatherhood. Yes that whatever you're gonna do, you're gonna influen. Yes,

it's your choice. Yes, And to that point, my dad went to celebrate recovery, became a morning and Christian and I watched the change in his life and that was a huge thing for me because again, my mom was awesome. I mean, she was faithful all the time. We didn't know any better. I mean, that was her. But when my dad's life changed as a father, I looked at that and for the father's other it's like, oh, there's something to this. She's just always been that way and

he just changed when he gave his life away. What's going on? What's different, you know? And so so that really did peak peak my interests, and so I did. I became a Christian nineteen ninety eight, but I didn't have that surrendered lifestyle. Yep, right, it was kind of a white knuckle I'm not gonna drink anymore. I'm gonna do it. Christians are supposed to dissess the faith, but you didn't possess it. That's good. Yeah, that's exactly right.

That's exactly right. And so I actually ended up having a separation from my first wife. I was in spring training two thousand and four with the padres, kind of my first real adverse situation, like what is my faith made of? And it was pretty surface level because the enemy took that opportunity to go, hey, man, you're on your own. Now, you're a little more mature. Now you

can handle this drinking thing. You can come on, man, And I just kind of fell back into that lifestyle and pretty fast once I opened that door right back in, and you know, the night life and the going out and all that comes with all that that junk that we won't glorify. But yeah, so I was on a

slippery slope from that point. And to your question of how did that happen three and a half years in the in the belly of not the whale, but but prison, which is probably much like it, I went out with the guys one night, kind of a I'm just gonna kind of make a few justifications here, and it's just one night of my life. What's the big deal? Right? And I went out and I alreadied and hung out with the guys and and ended up just making a really bonehead decision. And it was I was in a blackout.

No excuse, but I just I made a poor choice, and and that choice was based on a lot of how I was living and thought it would be okay. I don't know. Sometimes I pg it, sometimes I don't. I don't know what you want me to do in here. Everyone right now that's listening is thinking, and I don't mind that it's wide open. I go speak. But yeah, man, I'll just be honest with you. But I was back in an apartment complex in Frisco, Texas, where I was playing at the time with the Rangers. By this time

I had been in the big leagues. Uh, for those who have seen Bull Durham. The Rangers called me back to be that older guy to kind of be there for their young prospects in Double A. So I was the thirty three year old Double A and man, I went and there was a lady that I had met that lived in that apartment complex, and I thought it would be okay to go knock on her door and see if she was having a They used to have a lot of parties at that apartment and my buddies

is three in the morning, They're like, go to bed. No, what are you doing? Go to bed. I couldn't shut it off. It was like it again, I'm all in, I'm all in, all in, and so yeah, I'm just gonna just gonna be real straight up and say I the door was unlocked. I walked in and I tried to take off my clothes and get in bed with her. And man, most people will hear that are like, what in the world. Then I've had people hear that and go, oh, man,

I've put myself in some pretty bad spots. And so yeah, I got Burly rehabitation because I walked in there without being invited and with intense commit sexual assault because well, my intentions were not good. You know. It wasn't like you go hold someone to it. It's like, we don't know what your intentions were. You weren't invited there, you weren't supposed to be there. And that was choice I made.

And so that'll carry that'll walk with me the rest of my life, that one decision, and that's how I ended up doing three and a half years in prison. And where it was. I was kind of all over Texas. I was all over Texas. I was up in bottom Buster coal unit, at the Bird Unit. I finished at the Walls in Huntsville, and just you know, sharing my story now, I went and spoke to the baseball team in sam Houston a couple of years ago. Matt Degg's a good buddy of mine, and he asked me to

come speak to his team, and I did. And man, that that campus where I was talking to that locker room was a stone's throw just about from where I finished my prison sentence. And just what God does and where he puts you and some of the people I was able to interact with and talk to, and some of the stories, and I'll tell you one of them being within those walls, I mean, when I surrendered, it was day one, and it wasn't I had a five

year sentence. I did three and a halven. It wasn't a prayer at this point of get me out of this. That was the case leading up to the trial. It was like, just get me out of this. Yep, come on, I don't want to go to prison. Get me out of this. No. When those bars hit and they sentenced me, it was okay, I surrendered. This is where I got myself. What do you got for me? I mean, what is it? It's almost like prison ministry started day one. So it was survival, but it was open your eyes and see

what's around you. And the one story is gonna share with you is there's multiples, but this one stands out to me is I had a selly you know, eight by ten cell walked in and it's pretty customary. You don't ask what people are there for, how long they're there. You just kind of mind your business, you know. And I walked in and he was on the top bunk, and it was summertime. We were talking about hot texta summer's already been right, yeap, no ac in these metal

buildings in prison. I mean it is rough man. And so he's sitting up there in his boxers and said, hey, how's it going, man, what are you doing? He said, Oh, I'm just trying to give some of his time back to the state. So he mentioned it is how you got a lot of time? Yeah, three life sentences like, well you can you can pretty much guess what had happened. Yeah, someone's doing three night and now you're an eight by

ten with this guy. All right, here we go, right, So helped my cards pretty close at first, but we started talking and opening up and his nickname was Bone, and I'm sitting here with Bone talking about how he viciously he did he killed three people. And as we got through something, all I have was my little pocket bible with me. I was in transit. I was that a little pocket bible, and I was just just like

you said, man, I was just listening. I was just I'd read and he'd ask a couple of questions, you know whatever. And man, I spent about ten days twenty three hour lockdown in there with Bone, and he shared with me grandeur that the day before I came in that cell, he had hung his sheets up because he was going to hang himself because he had no hope. And he said, man, you came in and gave me some hope. And I'm like, God, where could I ever?

Where would I have that opportunity? Man? And and so just having a heart for people I didn't always have. I was very selfish and wrapped up in my career and getting better, getting the next level. But yeah, that's how my rock bottom happened. And and then fortunately I wasn't giving up on and I was able to use that story for some good. Did you ever hear about where Bone is? I've looked him up. I want I want to use his real name and looked but he's

still obviously there. And and you know, a couple I guess funny tidbits when we were hanging out, you know, he'd say, Bob, I'm not a violent man, you know, and like Bone, you got rage tattooed on your stomach and the grim Reaper like and that's true. He's like, he's like, uh yeah, but so he's still doing, you know, doing his time, and he will be for for forever.

But yeah, it was. It's just one example of kind of stuff that goes on that right now, you and I sit here and we don't even probably think about what guys you're going through behind those walls right now. So yeah, that was that was at the time. It took me a while. It took me a while because baseball was everything. I didn't know who I was outside of the Bay, no idea, and so I kind of

really put it to the back of my mind. And and some guys would find out that I played, and they'd want to talk about a little bit, and that was fine. But TV's are a big pro you know, a lot of fights, so it wasn't like I was going to go in and watch it what you know, just I didn't think about it for a while and then actually, you know much at all, and I didn't follow it and I didn't and then when I was getting ready to get out, read Ryan with the round

Rock Express. Just one of those guys you know, you find out who you who your friends are, right, and I had several of them so were really good friends. And then some you know, you just three and a half years, the world just keeps going. Then it just passes by, and I can't blame anyone for that. And he was very faithful and keeping up with me and offered me a job and Round Rock at the Dell Diamond as a as a a maintenance guy, maintenance and

doing air quotes because I can't fix a thing. But it was like, man, if I got a paint or staining or and this's what I did, and pressure wash and I did. And as I got back there and was at the stadium and occasionally the guys would be there, it was like, oh man, that's when I really was like this is in me, like this I missed this, and I'm like, God, I don't know what you have, but man, baseball. And so I started doing a couple

of private lessons here and there. They'd pop up, and then I actually became kind of a baseball and I reach coordinated for them. And then I branched off and started a youth in high school program. And baseball is twenty four hours again for me, it's just it's just every you know. And so it says Round Rock Express, what got you to Central Texas? Originally in two thousand and one, I played for the Express. Okay, backing up two thousand and one, came played in Round Rock, fell

in love with the area, was living in California. Obviously the cost of living the whole deal. I had two little boys, and we moved here after that season, and so been here ever since, in Central Texas. But yeah, that is the express will got me here, and I

love it. I mean, I couldn't wish what had happened sooner, but yeah, two thousand and one I came out here and so and yeah, just like I said, you know, the Ryan family and just the being a baseball family, and just the way I played a lot of minor league towns, man, and like you you go to town, you go out, hey, nice town. Yeah, I'm not looking to live there, but it was different here, and it was because of the family atmosphere and the way they they treated the team and all that kind of stuff.

It's pretty neat. I'm sure all of your minor league towns are represented on this podcast. Yeah, I'm sure we have a lot of fans of all the teams that you played for the majors as well. Yeah, so what what are some of the teams you mentioned? Cincinnati? You mentioned the Rangers Padres that I played for. Yeah, that you played for sure. Yeah. The only teams I've made it up with were the Astros. Like we said, the

Red Sox, the Giants and the Padres, gotcha. But man, the minor league towns, I mean I couldn't name them all. I mean fifteen years of it, just in Clinton, Iowa to Boise, Idaho, I mean all over the places. I wish I could name them all, because it's really cool to just go in and see kind of the different just the different things about each minor league town and stadium.

And it was really neat. I really enjoyed that. Yeah, how did you imprison and how did you satisfy that rush that you got on the mound that your whole life you built up to that moment, ball in the glove. There's a stadium looking at you right right to make this next move. Nothing happens and not you don't even count the stadium. You could also count TV, all the people watching, the announcers, that the other managers, the other teams, the other dugouts. Everything happens when you make it happen

when you take the ball to your glove. How do you reconcile that from going from that to an eight x ten cell with boone? Yeah, you know you really couldn't. You really couldn't. But that was a part is not even a thing for you. It is a thing. It is a thing. There is that moment, and there is that rush, and there is all that that comes there. And really once that end, it was like, how will

I ever get that back? Right? Yeah? And in prison, And what I think needed to happen was that needed to be taken away from me because that allowed me to just focus on that and then I'd finish nouting. If it was good, Okay, good, I'm going to the next one. How do I work in between? If it was bad? Beat yourself up. I gotta get better. I gotta get better. I get better all about me, me, me, my career, my career. And then there I didn't have that.

You know, I worked out a lot if I couldn't get out of selling, a lot of push ups, you know, that kind of stuff to just keep my my physical in my mind. Just kind of but it was it was at times when we lock down, all I had was the Bible, just read or just books. Just read read, read book, you know, a couple of books a day. And that's not going to provide or reconcile what you talked about. But I think in order to be folks

like to this day right now. I will tell you that the coaching and giving back to these kids and watching young men go play out of college or being a you know, a liaison for them through schools gives me that I didn't know it going on the weekend, going to war with these guys. Coaching gives me what I had when I was pitching. But I needed the three and a half years of not getting that to focus on where I needed to be. And to this day having that back with the kids in the program

and the business. I'll never be I say never by choice. You can choose do anything you want to do, but I will never have or put in that time that I did, during that time where it was just it was nothing but books and improving myself and in the word and the spirituality and just it was a time like no other. So without prison, you aren't the man you are today, no chance. That's crazy. Yeah, you take out arguably that, it's got to be the biggest adversity

you've ever faced. Take that out in your life is not the same, not good, no, no way, It's it's self absorbed. I was on my way to being a coach in pro ball. I was probably gonna coach for the Ranger. Excuse me once that that little stint of doing the bull during thing was done. But yeah, it was just my own thing. Yeah, no way, It's not just you. It's anyone could look at their life and go the biggest piece of adversity I face. Take that out and I'm not the same, I'm not better, I'm

not at my full potential without it. Going back to working out, same thing. Ye, your muscles don't grow unless you break them down. And the harder you break them down, the better and more reliable they're going to grow. Yeah, there's got to be some pain, some sort ofness, some You're absolutely right. It's a great analogy and we use it with the young men that we coach, and it's it's exactly right until you break it down. You know, it's easy to just go through life. And I'll use

a baseball analogy. You just you're just kicking teams butt, you're winning, you're the best, You're it really is easy. Everyone gets along, it's happy, and then all of a sudden, you get your back against the wall and you start you take one in the mouth and you get hit in the mouth, and it's like people start who turns on who what are we really about now? Right? And so yeah, I agree, I think there's no doubt. Do we want to go through it? No, we don't. And

part of my story other people were hurt. That's the part that hurts. It wasn't just about again, not just about me. There's a victim involved. There's families that were hurt there, you know what I mean. So it's hard to say I'm glad I went through that. But the prison part and the walking that out and where God had to get a hold of me, I'm glad I went through that part. And you know which, she didn't hurt anybody else, I'm sure. And what else is easy?

Is you going to prison and going almost such a loser? I guess this is it. Yeah, yeah, I'll just be a loser to the rest of my life. I knew I wasn't as good as I thought I was. I tried so hard and I achieved this success, but I deep down I knew it never went This is who I really am, just a loser. You could easily do that too and miss the opportunity of what was going to build you bigger and better than you ever were. Yeah. Absolutely, And you know what. Those thoughts like that come, they come.

I'm sure they did three and a half years. Yeah, long nights, I'm sure they did. Absolutely. You got to really fight those thoughts. And I think the only way I found to keep negative thoughts from festering and coming in, it's just by by adding positive thoughts removing those putting positive thoughts. I read a book called As a Man Thinketh by James Allen, and it was a lot about that. It was about your mind's like a garden, Like you can't stop thinking. You can't keep your garden from growing.

But if you don't fertilize and see it and put the right stuff in, it's gonna be leads. It's gonna be thoughts you don't want, so good man, And that thing hit me hard man, so good. Yeah, let's take a break and come back. Awesome. This podcast is brought to you free of charge by Features, one of my

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let's go. I'm gonna start you out on a lighter note, It says Granger You've been answering a lot of deep questions lately, so I thought i'd send you this little fun one. I've watched you eat a ton of tamalies and tacos before a show. What happens if you're on stage and you really need to go pooh. I've always wanted about this, Heather from Kentucky shout out to Kentucky. Thank you, Heather. And I'm gonna shoot this straight over Brandon, because I think I could. This has to be a

thing in baseball too. I mean, what if you're on the mound, yeah, does that ever happen? Yes? Or no? If you're in the bullpen waiting your turn pitch, yes. And I was a big routine guy my career grandeur, like if you move my chair and inch, I knew it. If it was the fourth inning, I would disappear to the clubhouse and come back. And one time our pitching coach, Mike Maddox, who's now a big time Bigley pitcher, has called me and goes, hey, how was that fourth inning? Poop?

And I'm like, oh, you know where I was? Every fourth inning you disappear. So I tried to alleviate that before getting out on the mound. I don't remember ever having to to make that emergency timeout and run to the dug out. Yeah that makes sense. What about you? I've never had it on stage. I think there's something

about adrenaline. They will just suppress it. But I've had those moments where it's like an hour before the show and it's it's like, man, I gotta go and on a normal night with a normal venue and there's a there's a nice bathroom right there on the end of green room. Great. Yeah, but there's a handful. It seems like it always happens on these kind of nights when it's say it's like a festival, like a county fair. We can't go on the bus. That's just the thing.

Can't go on the bus. So there's a county fair and there's a porta potty right outside my bus, and the door is facing the crowd and they're all out there waiting. Man, So I'm thinking I gotta go out there, open the door, wave to some people will go in for a while, come back out wave. I can't do it. I mentally I can't do that. Wow. So do you want the most incredible prison bus poop story? Yes? Is this podcast fit prison bus poop? Yeah? So you said

you don't poop on the bus? Yeah, standard standard perceiving minor leg bus, don't you dare. Yeah, don't do it. We're all gonna be on this bus, right, yeah. Yeah. So just imagine a bunch of hardened inmates on a prison bus cuff together. You better believe you don't poom on that bus. Yeah. When I was doing my time, I had to go to a medical appointment in Galveston because my stomach was messed up, so I had to get a colonoscopy. Those are fun no matter where you

get them, but in prison they're really fun. Right, So I have to do all the prep. I have have to do the prep when you have a procedure. Back on the bus, we're rolling. The prep hit me. I'm on this bus and I'm looking around and I'm like, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go poop. And there's this just really nasty toilet the middle of everybody, which is an abnormal in prison you get used to you're not getting privacy, right, but not on the bus. And the guy next to me looks me, He's like, well,

I god, no, you don't understand. Like, it's not gonna wait this prep for the it's not waiting. Yeah, got up, sorry, dude, I mean immediately, the grumblings up. Oh my, no way. I just had no talk about embarrassing man. I'm like, I can't. There's no other. The other option is really bad because it's happening. Yeah. So yeah, that was one of my stories. I occasionally Heather had no idea. Heather from Kentucky had no good this was going there. If

I'm in that county fair situation, I will do. There's only one thing I'll do. I'll put on a hood and I'll walk two miles till the nearest gas station. Wow, I'll walk three miles to the nearest gas station. But when there's a porta party five feet away, I won't use it. If that door is facing the crass, just mentally, I can't take it. So I'll hike three miles to the gas station and grab an energy drink on the way back. Drink. I love it. Man, all right, let's

see we have let's do. Let's do stepdad step daughter struggles. That's the subject line here. It says he Andrew. My name is Matt. I'm from a small town in Missouri. My wife and I have seen you in concert numerous times and love you and the family. Thank you, Matt. He says, I have two step children whom I love as my own. I would absolutely do anything to see them smile. But my twelve year old step daughter and

I struggle to build a strong relationship. Her only vision of a dad is an alcoholic drug addict that beats her and her family. My son and I have a powerful connection. I always feel like I'm not good enough or that I'm doing everything wrong. Please, I need help because this drives me insane, and it's hard to be all I could be and only feel subpar. So. Yeah, thanks, thanks, Matthew,

I appreciate you, buddy. Shout out to Missouri. Great question, probably pretty common question a lot of people dealing with blended families like this. I don't know if this is a question you purposely brought up because I'm on here. No, but I saw a step daughter struggles. Wow. So, Matt, I have two I call them bonus daughters, two step daughters. When I got out that, I well know you have your daughter. Yeah. So I have two biological daughters yeah, and a biogical son. My wife and I got married

two bonus daughters. I could not empathize more with Matt because one of them absolutely accepted me as their dad and the cheating them like my own. My own was raising them day in and day out, and the struggles were real. They had a similar they've seen a similar father figure in their life, the biological father, and man, I'll tell you what one of them. We just connected.

Not right off. There was a struggle at first because my wife is a single mom for ten years, so it was like, wait a minute, who a we sharing with? But once we worked through all that, I mean, there couldn't be any more. I love you, and you're my dad, and you're the best, and you're and then the other one.

Incredible relationship. But I feel, and maybe Matt feels this way that that she feels if she says I love you to me, if she opens up all the way to me, she's doing something wrong towards her her dad. That's the best way I've been able to look at it, because I struggled, I fought through it, I've tried everything, and then eventually what I did is I just let it go. I just said, you know, I'm gonna love them the best way I can love them. They do

love me. If she won't say it, or she will, or she won't, she she does, they do and they love Matt and they man, being a step father danger is hard, man, It's hard, but it is so rewarding because to step in and take that role, it's not an easy thing to do, and then to feel like it's not being accepted or appreciated hurts the man ego, hurts the pride what I'm doing for you, you know what I mean? And and I just had to kind

of get out of it. And I still struggle. I still struggle, man, But I mean, I couldn't relate more to a question because it's the exact scenario and my best advice, not that I'm some kind of pro, but it's just keep loving them the best way you can and they're gonna see it. And then they're oh and

his wife she yeah, she's gonna see it. I just think it's one of those things that in the trenches gets tough, but looking back, if you just stay consistent and stay loving and staying and doing exactly what he's doing.

She's twelve, does that matter. That's the exact age of Hayley, who's my younger stepdaughter when we met, exact dage, and Astley was fourteen, so pivotal years, right, pivotal, pivotal years, and you step in and all that little girls are going through and you're there as a man, and they will see it and they will appreciate it, they will, but it'll be a struggle. So I think what Brandon also, what he's saying, Matt, is that you feeling subpar and

this driving you insane. And that's in your head because what she's given you, this twelve year old girl, what she's given you isn't necessarily what's in her heart. She's putting up a front right right, and she's feeling this guilt of sharing her love with another dad. It's not biological. And with that, she's gonna give you resistance. We've all seen girls. They're great at giving resistance. It's just they're like naturally born to do that. Yeah, and it's a

good thing for the most part. That's why i'm you know, my little girl she is when she wants something, she's strong about it. Man, you could not break that. So it's not on you, if you're fulfilling your job, it's not on you. So you give her that love. You give your son, your stepson that love, and most importantly above those, you give your wife that love and watch that trickle down, and one day it might not be tomorrow,

It might not even be for ten years. She might be twenty two years old before she has a breakthrough and goes, you know what, Matt or whatever she calls you, thank you so much for treating Mom the way you did, for loving us, for giving us a home, providing for us when you didn't have to. It's like that old Brad Paisley song, the man he didn't have to be. Yeah, and you, this is a war of attrition with her.

You know, there's no way you're going to convince her tomorrow or you're going to bring home flowers or candy and all of a sudden convince her that, oh yeah, I love you, Matt, I love you. This is a war of attrition. You're going to look at this as twenty years of consistency, and that's going to matter to her. Amber. You know, my wife, she has had a stepdad that

in so many ways has done everything right. He's provided for them, he's loved them, and he didn't just step into her life and her just go, oh automatic love Like Mom, Mom's got something different. You know, there's more to it. The kids, It takes. You have to earn that and you're doing it right. Yeah. And another thought on that grandeur, and I'm thinking this, my own life is because of what you explained and what's been shown to them and modeled to them as a father, there's

been some hurt there. Yeah, And now think about how scary that is to get vulnerable and go totally man, all right, I'm open, I'm giving it to you. Are you gonna hurt me? Are you gonna break my heart? Are you? Are you gonna go to drugs? Yeah? Alcohol? So there's probably a lot in there that I can't even imagine what what these these kiddos are going through in my life as well. To where as much as they might want to give it all and be vulnerable,

it's it's tough, dude. Just keep loving them. Man, I say this too. Man, what's obvious about this that Brandon knows too. There is the difference between the boy and the girl. Girls are just smarter at this age. They're just more perceptive. They're digging way deeper. The guy's like, he throws the baseball with me, he takes me to get pizza. He's so cool. Yeah, it's easy. Yes, that's very true. He shot me how to shoot a deer rifle. I like this guy. Yeah, no, a girl is gonna

take you. Because they are just natural. Those cre creatures are just naturally more perspective and was facing. They're just smart. They're Yeah, absolutely a great question, Matt, It's awesome. Let's go to Let's see what this one says. Says. Hey, I'm Clayton Dottie and from Newport, Oregon. I've been struggling with close friends and people using me for my kindness and leaving me, and it's made me struggle a little bit because some of those were my closest friends ever.

They were brothers and sisters to me, and they left and like I said, it hurt and affected me a lot. I've been trying for a long time now to overcome and learn how to be happy on my own. So I was curious, how do you get over that and not to think about it and let it affect you. So he says he's been struggling with his close friends and people using him for his kindness and leaving him, and it's made him struggle a little because they were

close to him. I think there's something more to this Clayton, first of all, shout out to the organ thank you for writing in. I think you're answering your own question by saying you're trying to overcome and be happy on your own, which is like step one. These people are not going to provide your happiness for you, no matter who they are. I personally feel like they were the wrong friends to begin with, the wrong crowd, right right, Yeah, uh, don't ever, don't ever look at it as your kindness

drove anybody away. It's just not that's not going to the right person is not ever going to be driven away by kindness. Hey, I think I think Clayton is filtering out some friends, some friends that he's gonna open it himself up to draw the right people in. I think so too. And I think I think man just s grange. It comes down to expectations, right, what are your expectations of these people? You expected more, right, you expected them to reciprocate the kindness, And man, Clayton, I

hate to say this, we're all learning this. It's like people are just gonna let you down. People are our people, and they they know how to hurt, and they're selfish by nature, and so I think I hate to say lower your expectations. No, you should have high expectations for good friends. But if your expectations of these folks were one thing and and you're receiving another, then, like Graander said, that probably not the ones that are gonna stick with

you through thick and thin, and you're finding that out. Yeah. Maybe maybe Clayton, maybe you're smothering a little bit too. Maybe that's part of this. Maybe to switch the word kindness. Maybe you're smothering a little bit. Maybe you're too much sometimes and that goes back to you saying I need to be happy on my own. So you know what, Sometimes go into a new gym. You just did this, Go to a new gym, and it opens yourself up to new people. And it doesn't have to be a gym.

It could be any kind of hobby, or it could even be a grocery store. You switch grocery stores. There's new people, new faces, and I think it's a positive thing. Clayton, I think you're open yourself up to a new chapter. Man Brandon said it right. People are gonna let you down if you expect, if you expect them to fulfill you and create your happiness inside. They're gonna let you down every time, so will parents. So we'll step parents, so we'll step daughters. You we're all human. So it's

a good question. Dude. Thank you for right, Thank you for the transparency. Right, Yeah, honesty, that's really good. Yeah, absolutely, I want to I want to go to this questions from an expecting dad. That's the subject. It says, Hey Grander, my name is Cameron. I'm from Lacrosse, Wisconsin. Shout out to Wisconsin, Wisconsin, Scanson. I've been listening to your music for a very long time. My wife and I started watching The Smiths and I appreciate you. Buddy says you

and Amber have a very contagious positive outlook. I got married in October. First baby is do in July, hopefully July fourth, because America. We we close on a house in a couple of weeks. We've decided my wife is going to be a stay at home mom. You and Matt Demo are good father role models that I want to strive to be. What advice would you give to a new dad? Also, I want to talk about your positive attitudes. I used to be a glass half full kind of guy, but over the last year, I've really

been struggling to stay positive. How do you stay in such a positive mood? And that's the part of the question I saw and thought this is a perfer question because we could talk about what to expect as a new dad. But I've said this kind of thing a lot on this podcast, and I think being a new dad,

be present, be engaged. Don't start looking past each little baby stage, because God gives you the exact amount of time you need before that baby grows, and you learn with the kid, you know, so you don't have to start thinking about how are you gonna maybe proof the house. When they're an infant, you just worry about bottle feeding. You don't have to. When they're a toddler, you don't

have to start worrying about them dating. You're gonna have enough time to learn that stuff, So don't don't worry. Just soak in. You're hardwired to know how to do this, so just soak it in. Be present. Congratulations on closing on the house. But what I want to talk about is the glass half fool that you used to be and now you're struggling to stay positive. What do you think, Brandon, Everyone that meets Brandon, pufferd walks away and goes that is a positive dude. If there was any adjective to

describe you positive, Wow, thank you man. It's a lot of pressure, and you kind of explained a little bit of that. Yeah. You know the first you mentioned earlier when we first met, we were at the same gym. Head nod, it's happening. It's going on, buddy, seeing you see the same people, right, And I remember the first thing you came up and said to me. You said, I do I haven't weird memory, man, like an elephant. And you were like, Brandon, dude, all right, what are

you selling because I'm buying it? What is it? And I said, what what do you mean? Yeah? Yeah, you're always so positive, You're always smiling, You're always yeah. And that's when I was like, yeah, yeah, I thought you were a fireman and whatever. But the only way to explain it for me, and I think I explained it to you this way. However, many several years ago when we first met, was just where my hope comes from, man,

my faith? And it's not only that, well it is only that, I mean, that's the biggest race I get you, but also on top of that is just kind of perception, right, like gratitude. Gratitude? What am I focused on? Am I focused on? Hey, let's be honest. In the last year, it's been tough, right, I mean it has been tough. But what are we focused on? Am I gonna wake up every day and focus on the negativity and what's going on? And I choose not to do that. And it's a choice. I mean, I choose to go, Hey,

I've got these things to be grateful for. Man, I've got a wife and a son and four daughters, and baseball program, young men that I get to interact with and and and hopefully positively impact And those are the things that keep me going. Now. Am I always positive behind closed doors? Of course? Not. Man, the guys, the ones who know me best, my wife, my kiddos, another another country reference, they usually get what's left to me, not the best of me, right, Yeah, And and that's hard.

But at the end of the day, the positivity that that you know, I try to to give out is just simply a choice every day, like, Hey, what do you have for me today? What am I focused on? Because I promised if I was to sit and look at all the negativity and and dwell on a lot of things going on. I think that would show up in my attitude and and it's it's it's not always positive, man, but but that is what helps me to be a glass half full guy and and have just good people

around me who I surround myself with is huge. That's so good, Cameron. In February and tech is, we had this crazy ice storm and it basically shut down most of the entire state from whatever anyone was doing. Their schedule was changed. You weren't going with your normal work. You were surviving. Well, we were. We were on these these these power on and off rolling were you on that? We had just moved. We decided to move at the front end of the ice storm, which was not very

comfortable moving. But then for whatever reason, where we were in our new place, we just never lost anything. We were really less. That's awesome. I hate a lot of my bands said that too. Yeah. Well, the example I was going to use is that we were on this this rolling blackout and they were cycling us and we were taking notes on when the power would go out. We'd say seven pm, and then the power kick on

at nine pm. We'd go nine pm. So we were just trying to keep some kind of schedule to figure out, you know, when could we use the microwave to thaw out some frozen deer meat or you know, whatever is it going to be. So we would when we would expect the power to come back on and it wouldn't, we would get devastated. And then we would expect it to cut off and it would stay on and we

would celebrate. And Brandon said, expectations, Well, if you could keep your gratitude a little bit higher than your expectations, every time, you're gonna be happy, You're gonna be you're gonna be a positive guy. Now, what's crazy about my whole story is that we're celebrating power. We're celebrating the lights coming on. Like, dude, when's the last time you turn you flip the light switch and you just cheered and hugged and yelled. That's ridiculous four months ago. But

here we are. Our expectations are super low. We're just trying to stay warm. We don't we're just trying to figure out what the next meal is. And the lights stay on a little bit longer, the heater stays on a little bit longer, and we're hugging each other because our expectations were low. Therefore our gratefulness was way higher just to have power. And then you could relate to this because there was like a Tuesday afternoon or whatever when all of a sudden the sun came out and

it was just beautiful blue sky. And now the way it was probably twenty degrees, it felt like eighty. Yeah. Yeah, because of what we had been dealing with, I forgot I'm talking to a Wisconsin guy here, so this is like no big deal. Tough. It's like no big deal to Cameron. But man, when we expected it to be five degrees and it ended up being sunny and twenty, we were celebrating. Now today, if I walked out it was twenty, I would be complaining because I don't expect that.

My whole point is in anything in life, if you keep your gratefulness, it doesn't have to be a lot more, but just a little bit more than what you expect, then you're going to be happy. That's the key to being positive and being a glass half full kind of guy. So when you got this baby coming, you got this house coming, you're closing in this house in a couple of weeks. Man, what's crazy is you're going to walk

in with the key and you're gonna put stuff. You're gonna be so excited, and in about six months you're gonna be tired of it. It wears off so fast. So just continue to cultivate that gratefulness. But I don't know where you're living right now, but it's six months from now. Be thinking about that and go. Man. Six months ago, we were in that little apartment. We had to go to the third floor. We had to carry cartons of milk up three floors and I had to There was no parking spot, so I had to park

one hundred yards away to walk. But now I just parked in my own driveway. Don't let that get away from you. Don't ever let that driveway go away, no matter how long you're in this house. So it's it's a mind trick, so much so it is, man and I. I what it tells me about me and probably us is how much we take for granted. Is what you're what I'm hearing. Just take it for granted, man, like power.

We recently had a hot water We just got ac back in our house yesterday hasn't been very warm, so whatever, but it was sure right, so deal wow, and we were celebating. I came home. My wife stayed for that and she's like you hear it, you feel it, and we're like great example A see it's all us. I mean, but it's huge. And just to wrap it up camera, I would say, literally, write out a gratitude list and what I'm in and your short email. Man, I don't know you, but a new house, a baby, a wife. Yes,

you got a lot to be grateful for. Man, that glass is more than half America America. Come on in July, dude, write it out. That is so true. Man, every morning, make this and for anyone that's listening, do a little journal. I love the journal every morning, and you guys have heard me talk about that. And it's especially fun journaling now because I could look back on twenty twenty this time,

you know, like the sky was falling last year. So it's fun to go back and go to read my journals from last year and go it didn't even matter, right, they didn't matter right, respective wise, it didn't matter. So do a little journal. But then at the end of that journal, just write down some things you're grateful for. It could be the sun. The sun's out today. It could be got cold, Ac. It could be you got you're having scrambled eggs for breakfast, and you love scrambled.

It could be anything. It's really this is not about I finally got ten grand in the bank account. It's not that. It's not that. I mean it can be, but I'm thinking, aim lower, aim lower, and you'll be surprised every morning, just practicing that, putting on paper, verbalizing it. Man, tell your wife how grateful for you you are for it. Brandon walks in this house, in his house in three months, go hug your wife and go Ac. She's gonna look at you like you're crazy. Yeah, but that's the perspective.

It's funny because just yesterday I get up early, and we still live in a barn RV in the barn, so I get up and read and and I usually the lights are off and I'm just reading by my little light there by the by my Bible. And Amber goes around to the barn and flicks on the lights to the barn. That turned on, and I had that little, that little flutter feeling like powers on, oh ye, powers on, yeah. Yeah, it was like that feeling of yes the grid. I mean,

it's so fun perpective. Absolutely, dude, that's our time, man, Wow, that's our time. If you want to hear more Brandon reply if you're watching on YouTube, reply more Brandon. I think people are gonna want to see some more you, man. I don't know, Gran, Man, I appreciate you having me on.

One thing I wanted to say for me is I mean for those who are just kind of fans and are out there and are listening to what you're doing, and I'm pretty sure by now they can tell, and especially watching the Smiths, what a genuine dude you are. But like, man, just having lunch the other day and you're reading through these emails and you're receiving emails and

you're reading them. Oh yeah, your I don't give them anybody. No, I know you don't, but I would think, and I imagine not the only one that would think, I'm gonna email Granger Smith. But is it my email Granger Smith? Or is whoever? And then no, Man, I mean it's it's impressive, man. And I know I've known you to be a very real guy since I thought you're a fireman. But knowing what you do and receiving these emails, it's just how genuine you are and what you're doing for

your fans is awesome man, so I appreciate them. It's a blessing to be here. Man. Love right back at you, man, Appreciate you, dude, right on, thankser come back all right, see ty gee gee, thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification spell so that you

never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie